All language subtitles for Bride Wars (2009) 1080p UK

♪♪ [ Pop ]

♪ I found, I found ♪

♪ So many things ♪

- ♪ I dreamed of♪
-♪ Dreamed of, dreamed of♪

♪ You fell in love with me ♪

- ♪ But I couldn't think ♪
- ♪ I couldn't think ♪

♪ Of how it could be ♪

♪ And I finally found him ♪

♪ And I'm takin'
the long way out ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪
- ♪ It's gonna be ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Days go by
and we're still laughing ♪

♪ He's all mine and I'm never alone ♪

♪ Days go by and we're still happy ♪

♪ He's all mine alone ♪

♪ He's somethin' special
to me ♪

♪ He's somethin' special to me ♪

♪ He's somethin' special
to me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And I finally found him ♪

♪ And I'm takin'
the long way out ♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's gonna be ♪
- ♪ It's gonna be ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me ♪

♪ Somethin' special to me
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Days go by
and we're still happy ♪

♪ He's all mine alone ♪♪

[ Woman Narrating ]
It all began
at the Plaza Hotel...

twenty years ago
in the month of June.

[ Crowd Chattering ]
Two mothers brought their
daughters, Liv and Emma,

here to the Palm Court
for tea.

On that afternoon,
there was a wedding.

There was something blue,
something borrowed...

and something
completely magical.

And two little girls
from New Jersey...

held in their hands
a new dream—

that one day they would find
that one person...

who would stand by them
no matter what,

and when they did,
they too...

would haveJune weddings
at the Plaza.

Thank you.

And yes, Your Honor,
I will take this lofty man
to be my husband.

I always knew my wedding
would be the happiest day
of my life.

Now I will dance with you
until we have six babies
and a house.

Do you think they let pets
inside the Plaza?

Well, it's not like
we're getting married
until we're 1 6 at least.

Next time,
can l play the bride?

Emma, you know
I always play the bride.

[ Woman On Stereo ]
♪ This will be
an everlasting love ♪

♪ This will be-- ♪♪
Not too shabby.

Caviar cocktail hour--
Cigar roller,
white glove service—

Celadon cymbidium orchids.
Great deejay.

[ Liv ]
So we both admit
it's beautiful.

Um, yeah.
But?

Do you think it's the work
of Marion St. Claire?

Oh. Marion's a visionary.

Mmm?

Oh.
If it had been my wedding—

Oh, just say it.
It ain'tJune.

And it ain't the Plaza.
It's the elephant in the room.

Yeah.
[ Gasps ]

And here you are.
Oh, look.

A duck made out of ice.
Isn't this great?

Know what else is great?

Going home early and watching
your backed-up TiVo?

Am I that predictable?

How about one more dance,

and I'll give you
my piece of the cake—
if you let me lead.

Very funny.

Come on. Come on.
You know I always lead.

Hey. Oh.

Hi, girls.
[ Laughs ]

Are you ready
to catch this bouquet?
Gotta go.

- I'm so happy
all ofyou are here.
- On the other hand, always fun.

I know.
They take it so seriously.

- My work friends, sort of.
- [ Guests Laugh ]

My college buds-
Oh, my God.

Emma Allan, is that
the same dress you wore
to the Delta Gamma...

"Kegs for a Cause" semiformal,
like, a bazillion years ago?

[ Murmuring ]

Yeah.
What's your point?
Because it's a classic.

- If a dress works,
you work it hard.
- Oh.

See, that is sweet.
And loyal.

Girlfriends sticking up
for each other.

I like that, a lot.
Keep that.

- Anyway, are you guys
ready to catch this?
- Yeah.

just think about it,
feel it, catch it—

One, two,
three!

[ Narrator ]
I would have seen the signs
if I'd been there.

It's all right there.
Look at Emma's eyes-
Like a hunter's.

And Liv's hand—
How would you like that
clasped around your throat?

Not that either of them
can imagine hurting each other
at this point.

Why should they?
They've been inseparable
for 20 years.

Okay, slow down.

Why can't we run with iPods?
We can't run with iPods
because iPods...

are for people
who can't be alone
with their own thoughts.

I'm literally running
circles around you.
Do you know that?

Do you know how many things
I can think about at once?

You know what
a multitasker I am.

You're not enjoying
my conversation?
Is that what you're saying?

I'm hurt.
I am very hurt, Liv.
I gotta go.

All right.
Have a good day.
Love you.

Oh! And tell me how
the meeting goes.
Watch this power walk.

Whoo!
Whoo!

[ Bell Dings ]
Hey, did you get the changes
to the brief?

Read and highlighted
in the cab.
Great.

Purse. It's like
the whole city
is made out of lint.

It's an aggressive approach,
exploiting the weaknesses
of our plaintiff's case,

and I thinkjudicially
we'll find favor--

Particularly ifwe pull
justice Givens.

Thank you, Liv.

Our best associate,
Mr. Simmons.

Maybe your approach
is too aggressive.

I mean,
ifwe pound them,

as you suggest,
they'll hardly be
in the mood to settle.

Mr. Simmons, you don't—
You don't know me, but I—

I know you.

All you need to know
is how badly you want to win,

because we won't be settling.

- You're right.
She's perfect.
- [ Bell Rings ]

Oh, Ms. Allan?
Hey, Robert. What's up?

I think Ms. Delgado
is looking for you.

Is she?
W-Was she nearby?

She-- She's in her room.
She's--

Emma, there you are.

- Oh, God, Deb. Hi.
- I know.
Isn't it gorgeous?

God, I feel so blessed
to have this body.
[ Chuckles ]

You know, I am so late—
No, no, no. Listen.
You gotta help me out here.

You know the debate team?
Yeah.

I cannot go
to the state finals.

I mean, children talking
about their little problems.

Ugh!
You gotta do it for me.

Yeah, Deb, I'm already doing
your late bus patrol...

and pep squad
and your after-school
detention.

You're the debate team adviser.
I don't think that I should—
I know.

I do so much.

I wish I could just
do the bare minimum.

I so admire you for that.

Thank you.

Anyway, all right, look.
Here's how we'll
work it out.

I'll do the debate team—
Okay, good.

Uh-huh. if you take
my Tuesday study halls
for the rest of the year.

Okay?
Yeah, that's-- No.

[ Laughing ]
All right.
You owe me, girl.

- Get out
of the hallway, kids!
- You know why she does this?

You're the best teacher
at that school.
No, I—

She's trying to
overwork you, so you
crack under pressure.

Mm-mmm.
Middle school's a jungle.

I don't know.
I think she's kind ofsad.

I mean, she's been divorced,
like, three times.

She's way ahead of us.
I mean, where are
our divorces?

I gotta get married first.

God, I hate Daniel!
[ Laughs ]
♪♪ [ Phone ]

No, Kevin.
I'm dealing with a crisis.

What's your crisis?

Uh, that's code for
"I don't want to talk to you."

Oh, I see.
Well, then thank you
for putting me through.

See? I told you those jeans
would look great on you.
They aren't too tight?

No, no. Not at all.
But this--

I mean, Emma, yellow—
Not your color.

Okay? Seriously.
Oh, but you know what?
Try this.

Because— You know what?
Keep it.

Well—
It never hung right
on me anyway.

Ofcourse it doesn't
hang right on you.

It's... my size,
and it's new.

This is the Dolce blouse
I told you about
last week.

Liv, I can't.
Hey, hey. It was on sale.

I practically
made money on it.
Liv, it's too much.

Emma, Emma. Emma—
just say thank you. Just—

Thank you. It's beautiful.
I love it.
Good.

Now this— Emma's stuff.
Emma's stuff. Let's get
rid of it at one point.

You moved out, like,
a hundred years ago.
Okay.

- Daniel's sweater? Cardigan?
You wanna try that?
- Yeah, love it.

[ Both Gasp ]

Oh—

Tiffany box.

You're getting engaged?
I'm getting engaged.

I'm getting engaged!
You're getting engaged!

Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!

Emma—
No! Stop it.
No. Liv!

I have to look.
Stop it! No! No!

No, no!
[ Squealing ]

You can't stop me.
[ Screams ]

I'm sorry.

But he should see
your face when you
first see the ring.

Good call.

You always think
ofothers, Emma.

It never occurs to me
like that.

I mean, sometimes it does.

I'm really happy for you.

Promise me you won't
tell anyone until
after he proposes.

Oh, God.
I would never.
I'd be out of my mind.

♪♪ [ Pop On P.A. ]

- I'm engaged!
- [ Screams ]

Can we get four
tequila shots?
No. No.

No, no, no. None for me.

[ Chuckles ]
Oh, right.
I'm fine.

Acapulco, 2006—
Emma and Fletcher on a break.

[ Falsetto Voice ]
"Never talk about
that weekend again."

"I'm so lonely and confused,
and very thirsty.
Please, Miguel"―

Okay, okay, okay.
Make it stop. Please.

All right, a toast.
To Liv― Congratulations
to an amazing friend.

And condolences to Emma,
Liv's maid of honor.

She will surely be
the most nightmarish
bride ever.

It is my burden
and mine alone.

- I'll be repaying
the favor very soon. Cheers.
- Drink up.

- What did I rush down here for?
- Nate! I'm getting married.

Get out.
Yeah.

Oh, my God.
Sister's gettin' married here.
[ Chuckles ]

- Where's- Where's the groom?
- Oh. Oh. He's not here.

Well, he hasn't actually
popped the question yet.

A toast— To Daniel,

who in his own world
is just working late,

but I guess in Liv's world
has just proposed.

So God bless him
for wanting...

to spend his life
with my sister
in any world.

To Liv.
We love ya.

He's a lucky guy.
[ Woman ] Yep. The biggest
day of a girl's life.

I'm gonna be right back.

- Damn. Should I?
- I got it.

I mean, they didn't
get to see me
graduate law school,

or read Nate's first story
in New York magazine.

So I can't
share this with 'em.

I wish your parents
could be here too.

Whatever. It's fine.
I'm fine.

Liv, you're only human.

You don't have
to have it together
every minute of every day.

Former chubby girls—
We're made of steel.

And Splenda.
We survive.

Well, first ofall, you weren't fat.

[ Chuckles ]
But, yes, you do survive.

Thanks, Em.
You're welcome, Liv.

You're gonna be
the best maid of honor.

Yes, I am.
What do we do first?

First-- Oh!
I was thinking.

It might be a good idea
to actually get
the proposal.

See? It's that head
for details.

Yeah, right? I know.

[ Man On TV ]
...people watching
this performance at home...

with a huge question mark.

Hey, babe? I don't
think they sent us
any fortune cookies.

No, they sent 'em.
I got them right here.

Oh, good.

Okay. Here we are.

I'm just cuing it up.
Mm-hmm.

This guy's gotta go. I'm sorry.
I know you like him.
Mm-hmm.

He's very pitchy.
You know, Fletch,
that is actually a real thing.

Pitchy. It's not
just code for someone
you don't like.

Oh, okay. You're pitchy.

Oh, uh, that one's mine.

Please.
You're really calling dibs
on fortune cookies now?

Yeah. It's on the right side.
Okay, it's fine.

Yours is the left.
if your fortune's better
than mine, I'm claiming it.

I don't think it will be.
Okay. Are you ready?

One—
Two.

Three.

What's this?

I put a lot ofthought
into where I was
gonna do this,

and, uh,
I wanna do it here.

This is our home,

and if I'm 99 years old
and we're doing exactly
this in our home--

TV and gettin' Chinese food—

that'll be good enough
for me.

[ Laughs ]
So, Emma Allan?

Uh-huh?
Will you marry me?

- Yes. Yes.
- [ Phone Ringing ]

[ Beeps ]
It didn't happen tonight.

- But I'm not worried,
'cause I'm sure Daniel's—
- I-I'm engaged.

Fletcherjust proposed,
like, two minutes ago.

I'm engaged.

- Color?
- Colorless.

- Cut?
- Brilliant.

- Clarity?
- Slightly included.

- Carat?
- Almost, maybejust under.

[ Whispering ]
More than he could afford,
I'm sure.

- Ohhh.
- [ Squeals ]

- [ Phone Ringing ]
- Engaged? Wow!

Liv's engaged.
You're engaged.

That's— That's--

C-Can I call you back?

What do you mean
Emma's engaged?

No. Of course I'm happy.
Why wouldn't I be happy?

I think it's great. Yeah.

No, you don't have to come here.
I'm fine. I'm not gonna eat anything.
Okay.

And I have the perfect
wedding present.

[ Clears Throat ]
[ Beeps ]

You are going to live
with Emma and Fletcher.

[ Sighs ]

You're irritating me.

I can't believe it.

It's so weird
having this on my finger.
I mean, hey, look.

It even sparkles
in the rain.
Blinding. Ouch.

So I'm thinking about
getting DJ Humble
to spin at my party.

I don't know though.
Is that weird?
You should go for it.

I'm not really
a big band kind of girl.
Whatever.

It's your wedding.
Oh. My mom can't fly up
until the wedding.

She's too busy with work.
But who cares.
I've got you, right?

Yeah. I'm so psyched.
So would you come
with me to meet her?

I'm sorry. What?
Meet who?
Marion St. Claire.

Haven't you been listening?
I've got an appointment
with her on Friday.

You already
made an appointment?
Yeah.

You just got engaged
last night.
I know.

But technically,
I'm already behind.

You gotta book early
if you want the Plaza.

The Plaza?
I can't believe this.

What— What's the matter?
Why are you mad?

I'm not mad.
No, not at you.

I just don't know
what's taking Daniel so long.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have—

We don't have
to talk about this.
Let'sjust drop it.

Don't worry about me.
Worry about Daniel.

He's gonna be dead soon.
Why? What—

Call you later.
What are you go—

Liv, you let him
do this his own way.

Excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Honey!

Will you just marry me,
already?

Yeah. Okay.

Isn't that what you want?
'Cause it's what I want,

and I just wanna know
if you want to marry me.

Don't you wanna get married?
Honey, can we talk
about this later?

Oh, you changed your mind?
I saw the Tiffany box
in the closet.

Right?
[ Exhales ]

Uh—
Oh, my God.

[ Chuckles ]

It's not a ring?

If it's a key chain
I'm gonna kill myself,

and I'm taking you
down with me.
Oh.

Why can't you just
tell me right here
and right now?

Is it something
that you would want?

Would you want—
Would you want
to get married?

You know what I will
tell you?

I have never met
a more obnoxious,

complicated, overbearing,

gorgeous, smart, sexy woman
in my life.

And—
[ Laughs ]

if you had just waited
until tonight—

[ Gasps ]

[ Laughs ]
then you wouldn't be the woman
I fell in love with,

because she doesn't know
how to wait.

Will you hold that
for a second?
Yeah.

Which is fine,
as long as I get to spend
the rest of my life...

trying to catch up
with her.

Liv?
Hmm?

Will you marry me?

Are you proposing?
Mmm.

Really?
Honey, it's so
out of nowhere.

Liv, shut up. Yes or no?
Yes. Yes.

Babe.
Yes.

- This is not how I planned it.
- [ Liv ]
Are you kidding?

Oh!

I love "Bring Your Hot
Girlfriend to Work" day.
Totally.

[ Squeals ]

[ Narrator ]
And that is the journey
that brought...

these two young brides
to my townhouse
on that particular afternoon.

[ Whines ]
No, no, no. Don't do that.
Not now. Not now. Let's go.

Okay. I'm good.

I'm Marion St. Claire,

the most sought-after
wedding planner in Manhattan.

Hi. We're Marion's 1 :00.
Mm-hmm.

We're both getting married,
and we're both each other's
maid of honor.

No way.
That's incredible.

Ms. St. Claire
will see you now.

Hi. I'm Liv Lerner.
Hi, Ms. St. Claire.
Wow.

This is Emma Allan.
What an honor.

We've been best friends
for a long time.
I can't believe this.

Sit.

Okay.
Got it.

A wedding marks
the first day...

of the rest ofyour life.

You have been dead
until now.

W-Were you aware of that?

You're dead right now.

I understand.
Thank you.

Angela, for example,
will die dead.

Now I've read the brief
that she put together on you—

[ Laughing ]
june weddings at the Plaza.

[ Chuckling ]
So it's not even
a remote possibility?

if you'd gone elsewhere,
not a chance.

But you've come to me.
[ Laughs ]

Call me dream catcher.
I'll answer.

Ooh. Dream catcher.

I happen to have...

three openings
at the Plaza in June.
[ Typing ]

Two the first Saturday,

and one the last Saturday.

That would be
the 6th and the 27th.

Oh! My parents'
anniversary is the 6th.
That's so meant to be.

Oh, my gosh!
Yeah.

- Well, then I'll take
the 27th.
- Great.

Um, you'll wanna discuss this
with your grooms.

- [ Together ]
No.
- All right then.

just sign and...

date these.

Okay.
This feels pretty good
right now, I gotta say.

Now, uh, we should
discuss themes.

Uh, elegant minimalism—
Classic traditionalism—

with romantic textures.
and trendy infusion.

- I'm impressed.
- Really?

Well, we love you so much.
She means—
She means "Thank you."

[ Angela ]
Your 1 :1 5 is here,
Ms. St. Claire.

Thank you...
so much.

[ Angela ]
I have packets for you
up front.

Bride to bride,
there's only oneJune opening
left at the Plaza.

Oh, my God. Thank you.
You are so sweet.

Ms. St. Claire, first off,
I'm obsessed with you.

- Uh, it's an honor
and a privilege.
- Sit.

Sure.

[ Squealing ]
june. At the Plaza.

[ Both Screaming, Laughing ]

[ Marion Narrating ]
Look at them—
So blissfully unaware...

of the implications
of their wedding date.

You see, at this point,
june was a mere three
and a half months away—

A blink ofan eye,
in wedding time.

[ Woman ]
♪ Got my dreams
Got my life, got my love ♪

♪ Got my friends
Got the sunshine above ♪

♪ Why am I making this
hard on myself♪

♪ When there's so many
beautiful reasons
I have to be ♪

♪ Happy ♪

♪ Yeah ♪♪

♪♪ [ Vocalizing ]

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

Miss Wang—

Ohh— Lace bodice.

Basque waist,
1 0-layer tulle—

[ Sighs ]
You should try it on.

No. No, no.
I'm wearing my mom's dress.

Emma, are you sure?

Your mom's dress is beautiful,
but is— is it your dream
or hers?

It's mine. It's mine.
I wanna surprise her.

But it is your day.

Can't you just send her
a big box of chocolates
on Mother's Day,

and get the dress you want?
It's really pretty.

And I do love strapless.
Me too.

I feel like I'm cheating
on my mom's dress.

I can't. I can't.
I've very comfortable
with my decision.

I'm just gonna put it back.
Put it back.
Okay.

But I mean, if you
like it,

you should try it on.
No. You saw it first.

Please.
That's a terrible reason.
We're gonna try this on, okay?

No, uh, I'm gonna...
try it on.

It's stunning.
It's perfect.

[ Exhales ]
I know. Right?
Mm-hmm.

I should probably
keep looking.

Do you think
there is something better
than Vera Wang?

I'm sorry. Do they keep that
next to the something
that is better than chocolate?

- No. Get the dress.
- What if you change your mind?

just be very careful
about any pre-wedding
weight gain.

You don't alter a Vera
to fit you; you alter
yourselfto fit Vera.

Weight gain. Please.
Yeah. Right.
Me lose control?

You see these eyes?
You know what that is?

Focus. That's right.

Well, it's contacts—
and focus.

- You know, I'll take it.
- Perfect.

I'll get you
more champagne.

[ Phone Ringing ]

[ Ringing Continues ]

[ Together ]
Marion.

A terrible mistake
has been made,

one I assure you
has never happened before...

in the House of St. Claire.

Your weddings have been
booked on the same day.

Can you say that again?
I'm sorry. What?

[ Clears Throat ]
Your weddings have been
scheduled for the same date.

- Mother "F."
- Are you insane?

The Plaza is our lifelong dream.

Angela... mixed up the dates.

You are now both set
to be married June 6,

and the other bride
on June 27.

The next available date
at the Plaza is June 1 5—

- Perfect. I'll take it.
- Three years from now.

[ Weak Laugh ]

- This is no—
- No, I can't—

It's no problem.
Hold on. It's no problem.

Because I'll negotiate it.
I negotiate for a living.

- I'll get the other bride
to switch her dates with you.
- Trust me.

You can't say no
to that face.

Yes, well, our
confidentiality agreement...

means that I cannot tell you
who she is,

- so which one ofyou will
choose a different venue?
- [ Intercom Beeps ]

[ Angela ]
I'm leaving right now,
Ms. St. Claire.

Word to the wise, dear—
and also to you—

do not use me
as a reference.

Hello, Angela.
Just...

tell us where
the other bride is,

and nobody's
gonna get hurt.

[ Beeping ]

Hi.
Hello, Stacy.

How are you?
It's Emma and Liv.

You look gorgeous.
Did you lose weight?

You want me to change
the date of my wedding?

Yeah.
That'd be great.

No.
You take the 6th,
give me the 27th—

She can be your wedding buddy.

I'm a ball.
Really. I am.
Don't touch me.

Let's talk numbers.

Every wedding
has a price, hon.
What's yours?

You can't buy me.
So again, no.

No, no, no.
A thousand times, no.

Good luck, ladies.

There's something
wrong with you.

You're not leaving
until you change your—

- [ Screams ]
- [ Stacy ] She's crazy!

just change your date.
She's crazy!
Somebody call Security.

You won't even
change your date!
You're crazy!

It's unnecessary for you
to touch me so hard.
Technically, she pushed me too.

Come on.
Have a nice day.
Whatever.

We could sue. We could sue.
You're a lawyer.
We could sue 'em all.

We could sue the Plaza.
We could sue Marion.
We could sue Angela—

What's the point?
None of them
are gonna make it right.

No. It's up to us.
I want you at my wedding.

And whichever way
this works out,

one of us will just
have to be married
on a different day.

Absolutely.
I mean, you know,
I want you at my wedding.

Obviously. Ifwe can't
think of any other way
out ofthis,

one of us will simply
have to be flexible.

Yeah. One of us will just
have to change venues.

Right. One of us could.

Probably, um, not...

the one of us
who's been saving up
for a decade,

because she makes
a pittance compared to
the other one of us, but—

True. I mean,
or it would be,

ifthe other one of us
wasn't so desperate
to get married at the Plaza...

because the Plaza, practically,
is the only happy memory
she has of her childhood.

So, oops. That's-
Right.

One of us will have
to move her date.
Yep.

One of us will.

And until one of us decides,
we shouldn't make any
concrete plans.

Agreed. There's some time
before we lock things in.

Let'sjust not do anything—
Right.

until one of us moves
her date.
Okay.

So, um—

Talk to you soon.
One of us should—

Call the other one.

One of us hasn't
called me yet,
but you know what?

She's gonna move her date.
She always was the bendy one,
even as a kid, remember?

Yeah, she didn't sound
too bendy to me.

[ TV: Explosions, Beeps ]

[ Beeps ]

I called Fletch,
and she picked up.

He's doin' my taxes
tomorrow night.

You can't get all buddy-buddy
with him. Not now.

Anyway, Daniel
can do your taxes.
He's "financey."

It's a hedge fund, babe.
We don't do a lot
oftax prep.

- Whatever. You do our taxes.
- Fletch has been my accountant
for six years. I'm going.

You're being ridiculous.
just have a double wedding.

What are we,
41 -year-old twin sisters?

Babe! Double wedding.

[ Fletcher ]
A double wedding.
I think that's a great idea.

- It would be
a hell of a party.
- You know, uh, no.

[ Chuckles ]
I've shared everything
my whole life with Liv.

I'd kinda like my own day
just—just once.
[ Calculator Clicking ]

I know, bug.
Is this everything?
This is all your as receipts—

Threw it all in the shoe box.
I don't know.

It's my dream too—
To get married at the Plaza.
[ Clicking ]

I have been saving
since I was 1 6.

I just need a few more days
to... let it go.

I'll find a new dream.
Liv's reasons are better
than mine.

it's like American Idol,
all right?

Liv is the Simon.
Ugh. God.

I mean, no offense.
But you're the Paula.

Even when they can't sing,
you compliment
their outfit.

It's nice.
Well, but everyone listens
to Simon.

I wouldn't marry Simon.
I'd marry me some Paula.

Mmm.

That's nice.
Just pick one.
I'm fine with any of'em.

See? That's why
I need a maid of honor.
You don't care.

I— Hey, you wanna have her
back in the game?

You know what you're
gonna have to do,
and the sooner the better.

We need to give
our guests some notice.
Exactly.

Which is why save-the-dates
are so key, but you don't care.
[ Phone Rings ]

It's not that I don't care.
Well, get your phone then.

Hello?
Men.

Yo, Fletch. No, nothin' much.
just lookin' at
save-the-dates or invites.

Are we still on
for tomorrow?
Yeah, totally.

Any sign of progress
on your end?
Is Liv softening at all?

No way. And there's
no way she's gonna
blink first.

They haven't spoken
for a week.

That's a century
in girl years.

What is it about weddings
that makes 'em so worked up?

I know.
I have no idea.

It's, like, the wrong
time to let the guy know
that you're crazy.

You know what I mean?
It's not how I'd play it.
Yeah.

[ Door Opens ]
Oh, you know what?
She's here now.

I'll see you tomorrow?
All right.

[ Emma ]
Hey.

Hi, sweetie.
Hi.

How was pep squad?
I hate pep squad.

I particularly hate
peppy teenage girls...

who insist everyone
be aggressive—
B.E. aggressive.

It's, like, there are
other pathways in life
besides aggression, you know?

I'm gonna call Liv.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Amie and Marissa are
throwing us thatjoint shower,

and it'd be good
to have all this
behind us by then. Right?

You sure?
Yeah.

Yeah. I agree.
I wasjust talkin' to Daniel.
She's on her cell.

You should call her.
They're out doin' their
save-the-dates or whatever.

- What?
- You should hit her up.

You have to know
your "date" date...

to send out
your save-the-dates.

Oh.

We were both gonna wait,
and she— she—

I ca— I can't believe it.

You can't believe this?
Really? It's Liv.

She's always thinking
about number one.
No.

Not this time. No.
No, no, no, no, no.

I am a bride too. Okay?

l'm number one too.

I— You are my number one.
I know. That's how I feel.

Bug, what are you doing?

[ Sighs ]
[ Beeping ]

Subject--
Listen. Listen.
No, no, no, no, no.

Emergency. This is not spam.

- I'm getting married,June 6―
- You don't have to slam
on the keys.

The Plaza Hotel. Be there.
X-O-X-O-X-O-X-O. Emma.

Address book. B.C.C. everyone.

Oops. Not you, Liv.

And send.
[ Beeps ]

[ Beeping, Buzzing ]

[ Beeps ]
"Emergen-C-C-C.
'Thys' is 'nit' spam.

I'm get married. June 6th."
[ Sizzling ]

[ Beeping ]
"K.J.A."? "Kuh-jaw"?

[ Beeps ]
"Emma."

What is "kuh-jaw," Emma?

[ Beeps ]

Great. Emma's wedding's
gonna be better
than ours was.

Glen.
[ Beeps ]

Maybe her marriage
will be better too.

Not filled with loneliness
and sadness.
[ Toilet Flushes ]

I hope you can appreciate
the positions
Amie and I are in.

- We're not taking sides.
- Relax.

We're not making any plans
until we figure this out.
Wow.

You're so cool about it.
Yeah.

- How else am I gonna be?
- I mean— Without taking sides
though, I have to say,

Emma's save-the-date e-mail
was a smidge tacky.

I mean, "June 6 at the Plaza,"
smiley face?

What's next, hearts
over her i's?

Come on, really―
What was she thinking?
Oh, hey.

I know, right?
That was so tacky.

It's shocking.
[ Emma ]
Hi. Hi, Heidi.

[ Indistinct ]

- Oh, Elizabeth, I love my ring.
- [ Woman ]
Oh, my gosh.

[ Liv ]
Emma?

You sent out
your save-the-dates?

Yeah, I did, actually.

[ Woman Clears Throat ]
Uh—

Surprised?

So one of us...

is not moving her date?

[ Both Slurping ]

Well, you amaze me, Liv.
You really do.

You-You never ask me
what I want. You just figure
you know best, end ofstory.

"Emma, wear this.
Emma, say that."

Well, Emma's pretty
frickin' tired of it.

- Oh, whoa.
- Don't think I didn't notice
how totally freaked out...

you were because I had the nerve
to get engaged before you did.
Okay, wait.

First ofall, Daniel
bought that ring in December.

Okay? So officially,
I was first.

Oh, pathetic. Pathetic!
Second, people always make you
do things you don't wanna do.

Emma, it's like
you don't have a spine.
Oh, wait. That's right.

You don't have a spine.

[ Women Murmuring ]
Wow.

No one could accuse you
of being soft, Liv.

You grabbed the first date
in June Marion offered...

without even
asking me first.

At least I'm not so terrified
of being alone...

that I people-please
my way through life.

Emma, you settle.

Are you saying
that I'm settling
with Fletcher?

I wasn't thinking
about Fletcher.

You came up with that one
on your own.

Move your date, Liv.

You move your date, Emma.

It's done. You lose.

Your wedding better watch it.

What did you just say?

I said your wedding
should be very scared
right now.

If I were your wedding,
I'd sleep with one eye open.

Why don't you just
save your threats
for Daniel?

After all, isn't that
how you got a proposal
out of him?

- [ Whispering ]
That's how I did it.
- Your wedding can suck it.

What did you just say?
My wedding can suck it?

I said your wedding
can suck it.
Your wedding can s- Be—

I mean, yours can be,
um—

Can-Can be, uh—

[ Snickers ]
not that—

Please.

Bye, ladies.
Hey, Liv.

[ Whispering ]
Yes.

Your wedding will be huge.

just like your ass
at prom.

[ All Gasp ]

We're done.

5:00, Saturday,June 6.
Done.

Done.
Hmm.
Good.

Now we just have to find you
another maid of honor,
uh, and fast.

You'll be spending more time
with her than with the groom.

My friends
won't take sides.
Who says it has to be a friend?

- No! Notjust a bridesmaid.
- [ Man ]
This spot okay?

Yeah. Maid of honor.
Maid of honor.

Yeah. We were so close
in law school.

That study group was nuts.

Oh, sweetie, you are
my second cousin's
best friend.

Ofcourse you were
at the very top
of my maid of honor list.

Honestly, Carla.
Caitlin?

Erin? No.
I did not sleep with him.

All right, okay.
I did, actually.

Once. Twice.

What difference does it make?
He was a loser,
and he was lousy in—

You did? Really?
I didn't hear that—

Two kids? Wow.
You guys must have had
really cute kids.

Uh, yeah.
Tell him I say hi, and—

Actually, I'm hopping into
a cab, so I'm gonna give you
a call a little later.

- Kevin?
- Yeah?

I'd like to promote you—

to mister of honor.

Do I get—
Is- Is it, like,
a pay thing?

No. Just— It'sjust an honor.

[ Deb ] Uh, have
a classmate read your draft.
I think that's a great idea.

Because by letting a classmate
read your draft―

Oh, thank God.
All right. You guys
finish the rest ofthis.

just read it yourselves.

Did you get my note?
Yeah.

Can you take
my late bus patrol today?

Sure.

Deb?
Yeah?

[ Chuckles ]
[ Chuckling ]
Yeah?

I know we're
not exactly friends—
We're not?

Then why am I always
doing you favors?
You never do me—

[ Clears Throat ]
Never mind.

How'd you like
to be my maid of honor?

Do I get to pick out
my own dress?

I tend to draw the eye,
so it's gotta be good.

Absolutely.

I mean, you know, I might
make some suggestions, but—

Oh, you know,
I'm really swamped though.
I'd need a lot of help.

What do you think
the bride is for?

To make the maid of honor's
life easier, right?

[ Chuckling ]
I mean, come on. Please.

Aw. All right.
Since you begged—

Okay.
I'll be your maid of honor.

It's gonna be great.

[ Door Shuts ]
It's gonna be great.

♪♪ [ Stereo: Classical ]
[ Slurping ]

[ Gargles ]
Whew.

Hey, can I make
a suggestion?

Have you ever heard
of"pee-not gree-gio"?

It's this really nice
white wine.

It's very elegant.
[ Slurps ]

Mmm.

Now, your music is—
Yes.

still pending, and, sadly,
DJ Humble is no longer
available on that date.

Oh? But he and I had a deal—
in principle.

Yes, well, one of
my other brides
outbid you.

I can't give you
her name, ofcourse.

That bitch!

Not you.
No, a different one.

A person.

God, she's scary.

You don't think that Liv—
Yeah, I do.

No. No. She knew
how much that meant to me.

It's too cruel.
It's too mean-spirited.
Too in character?

Hang on. Wait.

Didn't you tell me
she's wearing a Vera Wang?

Yes.
I read those run
really tight,

and she's kind of
an ex-heifer.

No. No, she's—

She's— Little bit.

Mmm. Oh!

That is good.
Excellent.

Is that like cream cheese?
It is cream cheese.

Like a hint.
[ Inhales ]

- Has Emma chosen her cake yet?
- Let's keep to our own work,
shall we?

Now, as for the flowers,
Eufloria has put in a bid.

Wejust can't have
the same cake, that's all.
And I have to have the seven-tiered...

white chocolate-curl torte,
enrobed in marzipan with
edible pearls and flourishes.

Well, you're safe.

Emma has chosen
a less extravagant cake.

And she's always saying
that she doesn't need...

to impress people
with how much she can spend.

I'm just going to check
my ice sculptor Rolodex.
Right.

Oh, my God.

That was a dig at me.

Emma thinks
I'm showing off?

I never thought she resented
how much money I made,
but I guess I was wrong.

Really? I didn't get that
from what she—

Marion's eating it up.
[ Sniffs ]

[ Exhales ]
She likes Emma best.

Emma always gets
the sympathy vote. I never
get the sympathy vote, do I?

Well, maybe it's asking
a little bit too much
for people--

I was worried about her cake.
It could be two Ding-Dongs
and a Yodel for all I care.

What's that?
What's that?

Don't—

[ Liv ]
Dance lessons?

Damn, she's competitive.
Their dance is totally
gonna be better than ours.

Let me see Canary Song again.
Dandelion. Canary.

- Isn't there something
in between?
- Sort of like a burnt Canary.

Video montage of their lives?
Really?

It's gotta be Fletcher's idea.
That's just—

It's gonna be, like,
pictures of them as babies.

You know, Emma
with one tooth,

and Fletcher in his little
superhero outfits. It's tacky.

[ Knocking ]
Can I help you?

- Yeah. Delivery for Liv Lerner.
- That's chocolate.

I'll take that.

Mmm. Looks good.

"Liv, you deserve this
and more."

Isn't Daniel the sweetest?

I'll just have one.
Thanks.

Just one.

W-Was she up there?
Yeah.

Oh. And it's impossible
to go get them back?
No, no, no, no.

She ate halfthe box
already, lady.
Forty-five dollars.

Yes. Okay.

That is the agreed upon—

Butjust so you know—
[ Chuckles ]

if you heard what was
actually going on, you
would totally side with me.

You gonna tip me?
I thought that was
including tip,

but anyway,
I'll give it to you
because I'm the Paula.

You know,
I've been thinking.

if you really want to mess
with Emma's first dance—
Mm-hmm?

There are ways.
Tell me more.

I don't know, baby.
Dance class?

Come on.
We know how to dance.

It's a slow dance.
It's like we did
in college.

It's a waltz.
It's a little more precise
than just holding each other up.

And besides, Marion says
that our first dance...

introduces our couple style
to the world.
Oh, well, naturally...

I'm incredibly concerned
with our couple style.
[ Door Opens ]

Space!

[ Laughs ]

I am Ricky Coo,

the Doctor of Dance.

I bring you motion.
I bring you rhythm.

I bring you sex.

Please, get on your feet,
and let's dance!

[ Man On Stereo ]
♪ Y'all ready for this? ♪
♪♪ [ Techno-Pop Dance Beat ]

♪ Dance ♪

♪ Dance ♪♪

[ Both Panting ]

Maybe Marion shouldn't be
recommending Ricky Coo,
Doctor of Dance so much.

Yeah. I don't know
about Ricky.

[ Man ]
Good for you. Doing warm-ups.

Yeah, I got your voice mail
saying you wanted to push
the lesson from 1 :00 to 4:00.

How long
have you been here?

Oh, my God.
[ Scoffs ]

What?
Liv.

Uh, just give us a second.
[ Fletcher ]
I mean, who does that?

She's finally gone
completely crazy.
Not that I'm surprised at all.

I mean, she's always been nuts.
I know. And messing
with our couple style?

There is no way I'm letting her
get away with that.
Good.

[ Groans ]
You know who I feel sorry for
is Daniel.

[ Snorts ]
He's not even gonna be able
to control his own wife.

What?

No, I'm just saying— It's Liv.
Because she never thinks about—
And?

I'm going inside.
What?

[ Marion Narrating ] The final
month before the big day is
a litmus test for couples...

of how they work together,
solve problems, communicate.

The early, happy glow is over,
and the nerves begin to set in.

With some couples, it brings out
the fundamental conflicts
in their relationship.

With other couples,
the lucky ones,

it highlights
the essential harmony
of their partnership.

Of course, even
the luckiest bride needs
something to take the edge off.

Ooh, for me!
AJolly Walrus cookie bouquet.
Is Daniel a keeper or what?

I'd just be careful.
Miss Wang is a stern mistress.

Video montage— Ifthere's
gonna be live pictures
and, like, video footage—

I know. It's, like,
verging on being
a digital short.

I don't know how they're gonna
cut me out of the footage.
I'm in everything.

Oh, this came for you
via messenger.

I can't wait to
get into this one.

Mr. Simmons called again
asking for the update
on the agreement.

- Rutherford Press?
That's my hometown.
- I'm just gonna take this.

Suppose I should just tell them
you're dealing with a crisis?

Oh, my God.

They still print
engagement announcements.

I'm sort of like a celebrity
back there, probably.

You know, it's like,
local girl makes good.
Such sweet people.

- Oh, wow!
- What the?

That's not you.
Is it?

Emma looks gorgeous.

- But not on the inside,
which is-
- Kevin.

It's the best she can do, huh?

So lame. She wants to
play dirty? I can play dirty.
[ Dial Tone, Beeping ]

You can play dirty.
I've seen you do it.

I went to law school,
people.

I'm starting to think
that 30 is the cutoff.

Mmm.
Because it's the last time men
want to date women their age.

A 30-year-old guy will
date a 30-year-old girl.

But a 35-uear-old guy
wants someone 30.

A 40-year-old guy
wants someone 30, too, or 28.

Mm-hmm.
It's a terrible planet.

I know. You know
what I was wondering?

What are the real reasons
behind Emma and Fletcher
having to tie the knot?

Why can't they
change their date?
Think about it.

She's pregnant!
Emma's pregnant!
[ Chuckles ]

Oh, no.
[ Groans ]

- Oh, no!
- Liv?

Are you all right?
What the hell is goin' on?
[ Groaning ]

Look, let me in!

I gained five pounds.
Five pounds.
It might as well be 50!

The dress doesn't fit!
And ifthe dress doesn't fit,

my wedding's gonna be
a big black hole in the history
of the Plaza!

Well, "A" it's our wedding, hon.

And "B"... so what?
Let it out.

You don't alter Vera Wang
to fit you.

You alteryourself
to fit Vera.

What do boys learn in school?
Sorry.

It's not the end
of the world.

Really. What-What-What can I do
to make you feel better?

It's what you can stop doing.
This is all your fault.

It's sweet ofyou to send me
those treats, but I—
What treats?

You know, the treats.
The Truffle-opolis.

The truffle tray.

TheJolly Walrus
cookie bouquet?

International Butter Club?

The— Honey—
[ Chuckles ]
I didn't send you any of that.

Oh, my God, Emma!

She's trying to make me fat
so I can't fit into my dress!

What is that?
What is that?

The International Butter Club?

You mean, you've actually
been sitting around...

eating sticks of butter
from different lands?

[ Marion Narrating ]
The final week
before the wedding is do-or-die.

I expect my brides
to be flawless.

Perfect hair, skin, nails,
everything.

[ With English Accent ]
Hello there. I need to get
to the back really fast.

Really, really fast,
because I left something there
yesterday.

It's very
important that I—
I so don't care.

Go on back.

Miss Allan.
Oh, hi.

Hi. Bit of Honey today?
That's the one I loaded.

Yes, but, uh,
just a pre-wedding glow.

Sure thing.
Okay, thanks.

[ Woman ]
♪ I wish you well ♪

♪ I hope you survive ♪

♪ I hope you live on, baby ♪

♪ So I can watch you cry ♪

♪ 'Cause I know
in time you'll see ♪

♪ What you did to me ♪

♪ And you'll come runnin' back ♪

♪ I'm gonna rain
on your parade ♪

♪ Oh, I won't take it again ♪

♪ And I'll keep raining
Raining, raining ♪

♪ Overyou ♪

Wow!

What happened to you?
You look like a traffic cone.

Will it fade?

Sort of.
[ Whispers ]
This is three loofahs.

Is it that bad?
Fletch said he didn't
think it was that bad.

Oh, well, honey,
"Filch" is your fiancé.

He probably told you
you had nice hair too.

[ Liv ]
This wedding stuff is
not a walk in the park.

For sure.
I'm surprised. I don't know.

I'm surprised
I haven't been, you know,
sent into my therapist's office.

That's what I've heard.
T-U-F-F.

You should have heard me
on the phone the other day,

talking to the guy
who messed up my centerpieces.
Oh, gosh.

It was unbelievable.
It's like one thing after
another, every single time.

It snowballs.
Listen, can I get
a little bit more lowlight?

Yeah, especially right here.
Hold that thought, sweetie.
I'm gonna get your color.

just make sure it's not so—
Like, more gold base.

♪ I'm gonna rain
on your parade ♪

♪ No, I won't take it again ♪

♪ And I'll keep raining, raining
Raining over you ♪♪

Maybe I should take up chanting.
♪♪ [ Continues ]

I think it's kind of―
might be necessary
at this time of my life.

- Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God. Is it good?

Great!

I get to do noth—
[ Gasps ]

Okay. I-I don't know
what happened. Um—

I gotta let it sit
for a day or two.

Maybe I'll try to strip it
down to white.

My hair's blue!

It's blue!
I have blue hair!

- I'm getting married in a week.
- Congratulations.

In a week! A week!

Come on.
I know you're in here.

Ah, here's your video montage.

Oh, yeah.

Absolutely.

Fletch?

Bug? Do you have something
you need to tell me?

- Um—
- Are we about to have
a little orange baby?

Apparently we're registered
at Babies "R" Us.

Isn't that nice?

Marissa. Where are you?
I can barely hearyou.

I can't believe
you told Emma.

Whatever.

You guys, don't get too
attached to the dancers.

They're paid
to be nice to you.

Yeah!
♪ New York and Japan ♪

Hello, bride!

[ Deejay ] All right, all right.
Now a little birdie
has just told me...

that we have a bride-to-be
in the house tonight.

Over here!
But she has been
a very bad bride.

Officer Not-Your-Husband
is here to arrest you!

♪ I'm a model
You know what I mean ♪

- ♪ And I do my little turn
on the catwalk ♪♪
- You're under arrest...

for being too sexy.

Time to be frisked.

Oh, my goodness!

Great!

We got two brides
in the house tonight!

[ Women Cheering ]

[ Deejay ]
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
Hold up!

We have two brides
in the house tonight.

Emma, this party
is invitation only.

I'm getting married too, baby!

[ Deejay ]
Well, I'll invite you
right up there.

- DJ Jazzles invites
bride number two up on stage.
- Why not?

Come on up here, girl!
We want to see the way you move!

That's what I'm talking about!
Work it out, girl!

You can't even let me
have my own
bachelorette party?

Much the way you couldn't
let me have DJ Humble.
That was low, Liv.

By the way, did you hear?
I'm not pregnant, okay?

I say it's time
for a dance-off.
Dance-off!

Dance-off! Dance-off!
Dance-off! Dance-off!

♪ You say I'm so crazy ♪

[ Cheering ]

- ♪ Coming home intoxicated ♪
- Oh! Oh!

♪ I say
I just want to love you ♪
[ Woman ] Come on, Liv!

♪ I just wanna love you, baby ♪

- Aw, come on, Liv.
- Come on, bride number one.

- I know y'all
can do better than that.
- ♪ Give it to me, baby ♪

Sprockets!

[ Women Cheering ]

Break it down!
Now the sexiest bride
takes first prize. Let's see it!

♪♪ [ Hip-hop ]
We gonna get this party started,
y'all!

Showdown!

Space!

[ Deejay ]
Check out bride number two!

♪ They be watchin'
while we wiggle around
Look at 'em droolin' ♪

♪ They ain't used to this sound
I keep 'em movin' ♪

♪ All my ladies
put your hands in the air
It's all right now ♪

♪ We gon'
keep you up on your feet
the whole night now ♪

♪ Pop them bottles
Yeah, drink that up, man ♪

♪ Got you feelin' crazy
Well, that was the plan ♪

♪ They was waitin' for me
Wasn't ready for this ♪

♪ He got the game sewed up
No, I'm talkin' bout Swiss ♪

[ Cheering ]
♪ Why would you try ♪

♪ We got 'em shakin' everything
from the hood to Dubayy ♪

Bride number two,
you are the sexiest
bride of the night, baby.

Give it up for bride number two,
y'all!

Sorry, bride number one.
Can't win 'em all, girl.

♪♪ [ Techno Dance Pop ]

It's weird, losing.
I gotta say I'm not loving it.

No, but you were
both so good.

Yeah, you really got up there,
and you tried.

- Forget it. It's my
bachelorette party, right?
- Yes.

[ Shutter Clicks ]
Good girl. Here you go.

It's like you read my mind.

[ Car Alarm Honking ]

[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Taxi! Taxi.

Kevin. Kevin.
I need coffee.

Excuse me.
I need coffee.
I need three Advil.

Yeah. Four waters.

Get a splash
of that Kahlúa next to
wherever that paralegal is.

Hey, Elana.
Good morning.

You work too hard.
I'm gonna treat you to lunch.
Okay.

- Where are you, Kev?
Are you in the office?
- I hear you coming. Liv?

Liv, blue! Hair!
Hey, Advil.

- [ Whispering ]
You have blue hair!
- [ Gasps ]

[ Whispering ]
Oh, my God.
I totally forgot.

I was supposed to get it
dyed back at 7:00.

I think it's very—
It's gonna be--
They're gonna love it.

I got it.
I'm gonna figure it out.

Ifwe could all refer to
the briefs I've drawn up.
I've highlighted a few main points.

Our discovery process
in depositions
and document requests-

maybe you guys
could share that one--
has yielded significant results.

W-W-Wait. Okay.
I am looking at the brief
dated two weeks ago.

Where is the latest version?
I could have sworn
that I updated these.

just a second.

Goddamn it!

Your hair.

Yes, my hair.
My hair... is blue!

My hair is blue. My wedding's
in a week, and I'm paying
my maid of honor.

Okay?
Or rather Mr. Colson is.

And, yes, maybe
I misplaced the brief!

And, yes,
maybe my best friend in
the world forever hates me!

Hates me!

[ Gasps ]
Oh, my God.

[ Sobs ]
I'm gonna be a bald bride.

It's so not ideal.

This is who's representing us?

Not anymore.
Miss Lerner's offthe case.
I'm taking over.

No, now look, calm down.
I'm gonna get it
dyed back.

[ Sighs ]
Miss Lerner.

You are excused.

[ Sniffs ]
I'm not this girl.

I just don't screw up.
I just don't get demoted.

It's like I don't have anybody.
I feel so alone.

Hey.

Babe, I'm right here.

[ Sniffs, Sighs ]

You miss your friend,
especially now.

She'd know
just what to say.

[ Sobs ]
I'm mad at her too.

She went for the hair.
Girlfriends don't do that.

You'll fix it. And if you can't, I love it.

I do.
You're like this very tall,
very hot Smurf.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, honey.

It's notjust
about the hair.

I'm mad because
maybe she's right.

And it's exhausting having to
try to be perfect all the time.

That's how
I held it together
ever since I was a kid.

I figured nothing—
nothing bad would happen
again if I wasjust...

one step ahead ofeverything
and everybody, all the time.

[ Sighs ]
Life isn't perfect, hon.

It's messy.

You're right.

I mean, I was gonna be
perfect for you,

but now that you say
it's impossible-- Hey.

No, you don't. No, you
don't have to be perfect.

I've always wanted a human wife.

Yeah, the other ones are just...
too hard to inflate.

Hey.
Hey.

Almost back to normal, huh?
I know, right?

I have, like, one layer
ofskin left, but that should
be okay for our wedding.

So, oops, sorry, Liv.

I wish I had pictures.
You know?

It's like I was up there,
and there's this spotlight,
and when I hit that rope—

- Oh, my God!
- Hey! Enough, enough, enough!

I've heard this story
1 0,000 times, Emma.

You've been acting
a little wild lately. Okay?

And I'm tired of it.
So knock it off.

Lately you've been very mad
and tense and excited.

You know what?
I just don't know
how to deal with this.

Uh-huh.
And quite frankly, you have me
questioning whether or not...

this is something about—
to do with the wedding
or ifthis is permanent.

Um, well, Fletcher, it is kind
of permanent. You know?

It is possible that I might be mad
or tense or excited more
than once in the next 40 years.

Is it? Really?
You know what?
You're doing it right now.

- What?
- You're being, not, I mean,
not bitchy, but—

I said "not bitchy."
But you're right there
in that neighborhood.

You should have the cab,
like, take a U-turn,

drop you off
at Pleasant and Nice,
where we met.

Are you upset because
ofthis thing with Liv,
or because I'm having feelings?

Totally.
Because it's kind of hard
to read you.

My God! That's totally it.
I'm upset because you have
feelings. You nailed it.

Okay. So in other words, then
don't have so many feelings,
but if I do, don't show 'em.

I shouldn't have so many—
Oh, God! I can't even
talk to you right now!

You haven't tried yet.
Do you realize— Do you know
how hard this is for me?

I don't even know who you are.
You have not even tried to
ask me about how I'm feeling.

I'm so confused.
I don't even know who you are.

All right?
I don't want to talk.

It's a tense time.
We're fine. Whatever.
I was gonna go to the gym.

Bye.

[ Woman ]
♪ The blank pages of my diary ♪

♪ That I haven't touched
since you left me ♪

Emma?
♪ The closed blinds in my home ♪

Emma! Emma!
♪ See no light of day ♪

♪ Dust gathers on my stereo ♪

♪ 'Cause I can't bear
to hear the radio ♪

♪ The piano sits
in a shady space ♪

♪ With a picture ofyour face ♪

[ Rings ]
♪ Coffee stains
on your favorite book ♪

[ Drill Whirring ]
Liv Lerner's office.

Hey, Kevin. It's Emma.
Is Liv there?

I'm sorry, can you hold on?
just a minute, I—
Sorry.

It's my worst nightmare.
I'm "cubicle-ized."

I'm sorry, Liv's dealing
with a crisis right now.
Can we return?

Fine. That's--

Yeah. Okay, I get it. Bye.

Hey! I'm sorry. Who is this?
♪ I'm scared
to face another day ♪

Hello?
♪ 'Cause the fear in me
just won't go away ♪

♪ In an instant, you were gone ♪

♪ And I'm scared ♪♪

Hey!

Hi!

How are you?
Long time, huh?

I know. It's my fault.
I've been really busy.
Oh, yeah. Right. Busy.

Nothing to do with the fact
that I'm the brother ofyour
archenemy. I mean, best friend.

Hey! I have to rent a tux.

You're coming with me.
Come on.

Um, okay.
Come on.

I'm a little surprised. I would
have thought a big magazine
writer would have his own tux.

How you doing, Em? Hmm?
How you feeling?

Um, feel fine.

Fine's not really
a feeling though.

Fine's a feeling.

"I feel fine."
You could say that.
People say that.

Yeah, sure.
You can say that.

Okay. It's, like—

[ Sighs ]
Things are crazy
with the wedding.

And there are
all these details
and... I don't know.

I had this idea of
how it was gonna be
in my head, and—

And it's not
as much fun as that.
Mm-hmm.

[ Crying ]
And I don't know why.

But mostly, I am fine.

[ Sighs ]
Let's fix your tie.
I can't look at a tie like this.

Yeah. Change the subject.
This doesn't look right
without a tie.

I'm gonna go
with a clip-on 'cause
I can't figure this out.

You have no patience.
Really?

Mm-mmm.

Kind ofthink I wait
around too long.

Hey, let me buy you
a cup of coffee.

Oh, um, I-I can't.
I'm late for, um—

But I'll call you.

Um, when I'm not—
You— That— You look, um,
you look really--

You're gonna make
a very handsome bride
"giver-awayer."

Thank you.

And, Em, you're gonna make
a beautiful bride.
Really.

Yeah?
Yeah. I always thought so.

Thanks.
Bye.

[ Snoring ]

[ Marion Narrating ]
Despite it all, when morning
broke on that sixth of June...

it was the perfect day
for a wedding.

Well, two weddings.

T-minus three hours, people.

Guard your camps,
execute your duties, and we may
make it out of here alive.

Incoming, people.

Roses for Lerner.
Peonies for Allan.

Has the Allan officiant
reported for duty yet?
Yes, he has.

Linens for Lerner?
Yes.

Excellent.

Let's move, people.
This is not
a dress rehearsal.

Amazing. You can't even
see the blue anymore.

[ Sighs ]
[ Knocking ]

Oh, Liv.

My God, you're
the most beautiful bride
I have ever seen.

[ Sighs ]
Thank you.

[ Beeps ]
Oh, uh, excuse me a sec.

She's so weird.

God, I'm so nervous.
I don't know why.

- Is the veil
supposed to go like that?
- Yes. Why?

Oh, no. You look fine.

You know, honestly, the pressure
we put on brides these days
to look perfect.

It'sjust ridiculous.

You don't have to look your most
beautiful on your wedding day.
Okay, everybody?

Mom!
[ Chuckles ]

You know,
if you want my opinion—

You know what, Deb? I don't.
I don't want your opinion.

Wh-What?

Deb, I have been dealing
with versions ofyou
my whole life,

and I'm gonna
tell you something...

that I should've told myself
a long time ago.

Sometimes it's about me,
okay?

Not all the time,
but every once in a while
it's my time. Like today.

if you're not okay with that,
feel free to go.

But if you stay,
you have to do yourjob.

And that means smiling
and talking about
my bridal beauty...

and, most importantly,
not making it about you.

Okay?
Can you do that?

Yes, I'd like to.

Then we're good.

Harpist is Allan.
Quartet is Lerner.

How many times
do I have to repeat myself?

[ Clears Throat ]

Check on the grooms' status
and man your battle stations.
Okay.

if you're about to jump ship
from one wedding,

let someone else know
so we can create a diversion.

Okay.
I'm going to Liv's ceremony and
Emma's reception. More booze.

I'm gonna do a quick head count
of the hot drunk single guys
and then choose.

Good call.
Allan. Lerner.

Hey, Mr. Allan.
How are you?
[ Chuckles ]

I'm good, bud. How're you?
Big day, huh?

Yes. Yes, it is.

I caught a glimpse of Emma
when I was scouting out
the enemy camp.

[ Chuckles ]
She is beautiful, sir.

Thank you, Nathan.

Listen,
you think I could have
a word with your sister?

Not about the-the fight,
about something else.
Oh, yeah. Sure.

[ Women Chattering ]

Liv.
[ Chuckles ]

Hi!
Mr. Allan!

Oh, Liv.

Wow. Your mom and dad
would be so proud.

- Thank you.
- Of both ofyou.

Thank you.
Thanks.

I just want to
pass on a blessing
from our generation.

Notjust from myself but from...

f-from my dear friends
who would've given anything
to be here today.

Good luck, sweetheart.
Oh.

Nate.
Mr. Allan,
thank you.

Good to see you.
All right.

You too.

Such a good man.
Emma's so much like him.

So, according to Ms. St. Claire,
you are allowed one weak nip...

before the wedding,
to sort of steady the nerves.

So we have scotch—
Okay.
Scotch is good.

We have vodka and tequila.

Tequila, tequila?
Tequila! Tequila!

Kevin! Tequila.
Tequila's so trashy.

No, no, no. Kevin.
Kevin, listen to me.
You don't even like tequila.

You take this to Marion.
You tell her
I switched the DVD's.

She needs to play this
when Emma walks down the aisle.

I thought we were rising
above this sort ofthing.

We are, which is why I need you
to do this for me right now.
Hurry!

[ Sighs ]

You'll thank me one day.

[ Knocking ]
I'll go get that.

That's very helpful.
Okay.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.
It's your parents.

Come on in.
Look, isn't she
a bridal beauty?

She sure is. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, wow, Mom.
Oh, my God!
Is that my dress?

[ Chuckles ]
Are you happy?

I'm happy if you're happy.

Sweetheart, you could get
married in a brown paper bag,
I wouldn't care.

This is your day.

Oh, boy, I need a tissue.

Oh, my God. I'm gonna cry.
You're gonna screw up
your makeup, honey.

I found this when
we moved to Boca,
and I saved it.

Dad. What is it?
I knew there'd come
a day to give it to you.

Go ahead.
Open it.

In case you need
something old or blue.

It's really Liv's.

Well, something borrowed then.

Daddy, I need to see her.

I think she feels
the same way.
[ Knocking ]

I'll get that.

Oh, it's Marion.

Uh, places, people.
We're on in two.

Marion, could I just run
down the hallway for a second?

Emma, you are
the most beautiful bride
I have ever seen. Ready.

Bride one, walking.
Bride one, walking.
Oh.

♪ I was a little girl ♪

♪ Alone in my little world ♪

♪ Who dreamed of
a little home for me ♪
It's time.

♪ I played pretend
between the trees ♪

♪ And fed my houseguests
bark and leaves ♪

♪ And laughed in
my pretty bed of green ♪

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ That I could fly ♪

♪ From the highest swing ♪

♪ I had a dream ♪

♪ Ooh ♪♪

[ Man ]
Ma'am.

Oh, my God.
Okay. Okay.

I'm getting married.
Yeah. Are you happy?

Uh—

[ Walkie Beeps ]
When I get visual confirmation
on bride one walking...

give video
a five count and roll.

♪♪ [ Harpist Plays
"Bridal Chorus" ]
And ready.

Walk.

[ Emma's Voice ]
I'm in Acapulco, baby!
Spring break!

I'm here with Miguel.

[ Gasps ]

I love spring break!
I want to dance!

[ Women ]
Go, Emma! Go, Emma!

[ Women Cheering ]

- I love being Emma!
- I—

[ Screams ]

We've been hit.
Repeat, we've been hit.

- [ Liv ] Emma!
- [ Screaming ]

[ Liv ]
Let me tell you something
about that tape!

God, you swore!
You swore you'd never
show that to anyone.

just... let them go.

Emma!

Bring it on!

[ Liv ]
Emma!
I don't want to fight!

Let mejust
tell you something!
I don't want to fight!

It's over.
I can't do this anymore.

I can't do this anymore.

[ Sighs ]

Thank God.

I'm fine.

[ People Murmuring ]

[ Whispering ] Emma,
what the hell are you doing?
Have you lost your mind?

You just ruined our wedding.
You happy now?

Your friend? History.
'Cause she's a bad influence
on you, and she always has been.

judging by that DVD,
you're a lot more like her
than I thought.

Good. I hope so.
What?

Fletcher, you've been
my friend for 1 0 years.

I need you to be my friend now
and tell me the truth.

You're in love with a girl
that you met 1 0 years ago.

Hey, what's
the matter with that? Huh?

She's not here anymore.

I don't want to spend
the rest of my life
fighting, Fletch.

Or caving.

Neither do you.

We're different.
We want different things.

You know that's true,
don't you?

I knew.

Good-bye.

Oh, my God. Emma.

I'm fine.

This is all my fault.
That video was never
supposed to happen.

I mean, it was supposed to
happen, but I canceled it.
I thought I did.

'Cause I could never
do that to you.
Emma, you're my best friend.

Oh, this fighting is so dumb.

I'm so sorry
about everything.

I'm sorry... too.

I'm so sorry.

If I ruined it for you,
I don't want it anymore.

If Fletcher and I
were perfect
for each other, then...

we'd be getting married,
and we're not.

Are you crying?

Yeah.
It's like a whole new me.

And I just—
I cry all the time.

- I'm kind ofa basket case.
- No, Liv, I didn't want that.
I'm sorry.

No. No, you were right.

I don't have to
have it constantly
together all the time.

It's like...
this huge wake-up call.

And I'm kind ofstumbling around
a little bit, but...

I'm awake.

Will you stand up there with me?

Where else would I be?

Reset, people. Reset.

Oh, I almost
forgot something.

Oh, my God. Em?
Where did you find that?

Two little girls
saved it for us.

Come on.

♪♪ [ Pop Rock ]

Hi.

Hey. Are you single?
Uh, yeah.

Are you straight?
I don't like labels.

So sorry to hear
about your divorce.

Why? It was only my first.

And next time, I'm definitely
getting married at the Plaza.

♪ You treated me so kind
I'm about to lose my mind ♪

♪ You made me so ♪
♪ Very happy ♪

Do you wanna dance?
Yes.

Let's go.
Okay.

Um—

No, baby. Baby,
let it happen on its own.

Uh-oh. Did I make
a horrible mistake and marry
someone who's smarter than I am?

[ Marion Narrating ]
It was quite a wedding.

And as I stood there watching...

I realized something
I'd forgotten a long time ago.

♪ You made me
so very happy ♪♪

Sometimes in life
there really are bonds formed
that can never be broken.

Sometimes, you really can
find that one person...

who will stand by you
no matter what.

Maybe you'll find it in a spouse
and celebrate it
with your dream wedding.

But there's also the chance...

that the one person
you can count on
for a lifetime—

the one person
who knows you...

sometimes better
than you know yourself―

is the same person who's been
standing beside you all along.

Wow! You look great.
Hello. Oh, my God.
You look great.

Well, how was it?
How was the vacation?

It was amazing.
I want to know
everything about it.

Actually, I don't.
You married my brother.
That's weird.

So I don't want
to know anything, ever.

Should we toast?
To marriage?

Um, actually,
I'm not drinking.

Neither am I.

[ Together ]
Are you pregnant?

When are—
Me too. March third.

[ Together ]
When're you due?
March third.

[ Shrieking ]
♪ Do you believe in love ♪

♪ Yes, I believe in love ♪

♪ I believe
it's because I've tried ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ And if you know anything
'Bout loving anyone ♪

♪ Somehow
you got to be satisfied ♪

♪ Oh, but don't go changin' ♪

♪ At least not for me, baby ♪

♪ I'm doin' what I gotta do
Ooh ♪

♪ I'll be fine ♪

♪ Find a way to pass the time ♪

♪ While I sit here
waiting on you ♪

♪ Oh, listen ♪

♪ But as soon
as you get the chance, baby ♪

♪ You've got to ♪

♪ Love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪
♪Just once ♪

♪ Know it's hard
out there ♪

♪ I can imagine how ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Who you are
in here ♪

♪ See I can imagine now ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Why can't reality ♪

♪ You don't ever have to be ♪

♪ Able to read my mind
Ooh ♪

♪ I can hardly walk
without burning up ♪

♪ So I might as well
start alive ♪

♪Just as soon
as you get a chance ♪

♪ Darlin' ♪

♪ Love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪
♪ Do, do ♪

♪ Why, tell me why
you wanna treat me so bad ♪

♪ When you know I love you ♪

♪ Darlin', don't you know ♪

♪ I'm giving you the best lovin'
you've ever had ♪

♪ No one else for you ♪

♪Just as soon ♪
♪Just as soon ♪

♪ Love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Please ♪
♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Say you love me ♪
♪ Love me, baby ♪

♪ Pretty please ♪
♪ Do, do ♪

♪ Say, won't you come love me
Pretty, pretty please ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Said if you got the time
baby ♪