Original subtitles

What's up? I'm not I'm

What's up? I'm not I'm

What's up? I'm not I'm >> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports

>> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports

>> and I'm Michael Costa. This is Sports War, the show where we are legally not

War, the show where we are legally not

War, the show where we are legally not allowed to agree with each other.

allowed to agree with each other.

allowed to agree with each other. >> So, if I say this is the most exciting

>> So, if I say this is the most exciting

>> So, if I say this is the most exciting Stanley Cup of all time,

Stanley Cup of all time,

Stanley Cup of all time, >> then I say you clearly haven't seen my

>> then I say you clearly haven't seen my

>> then I say you clearly haven't seen my bedazzled Stanley Cup,

bedazzled Stanley Cup,

bedazzled Stanley Cup, you should see your face, Ronnie Jelly

you should see your face, Ronnie Jelly

you should see your face, Ronnie Jelly much.

much.

much. No, you have a very sad life. Now,

No, you have a very sad life. Now,

No, you have a very sad life. Now, before we get into our first story, I

before we get into our first story, I

before we get into our first story, I just want to say that even though we're

just want to say that even though we're

just want to say that even though we're in New York, as professional sports

in New York, as professional sports

in New York, as professional sports analysts, we must remain neutral above

analysts, we must remain neutral above

analysts, we must remain neutral above all else. So, let's start things off by

all else. So, let's start things off by

all else. So, let's start things off by saying Nick.

Suck my dick.

Suck my dick.

Suck my dick. >> SUCK HIS DICK. SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW.

>> SUCK HIS DICK. SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW.

>> SUCK HIS DICK. SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW. SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW. We've all seen the

SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW. We've all seen the

SUCK HIS DICK BY NOW. We've all seen the shot heard around the world, but I bet

shot heard around the world, but I bet

shot heard around the world, but I bet you haven't heard it in nine different

you haven't heard it in nine different

you haven't heard it in nine different languages.

Bronson Alexia

G. OGI.

Oh god, I am rock hard. Or or as they

Oh god, I am rock hard. Or or as they

Oh god, I am rock hard. Or or as they say in Spanish, oh Dio, I am rock hardo.

say in Spanish, oh Dio, I am rock hardo.

say in Spanish, oh Dio, I am rock hardo. That was the greatest play I have ever

That was the greatest play I have ever

That was the greatest play I have ever seen. That's right. I lied to my

seen. That's right. I lied to my

seen. That's right. I lied to my daughter about her performance and death

daughter about her performance and death

daughter about her performance and death of a salesman. Your Willie Loman was

of a salesman. Your Willie Loman was

of a salesman. Your Willie Loman was [\h__\h] honey. Why can't you be more like

[\h__\h] honey. Why can't you be more like

[\h__\h] honey. Why can't you be more like OG and Anobi? New York needs to properly

OG and Anobi? New York needs to properly

OG and Anobi? New York needs to properly honor this man. We have to replace the

honor this man. We have to replace the

honor this man. We have to replace the Statue of Liberty with the Statue of OG

Statue of Liberty with the Statue of OG

Statue of Liberty with the Statue of OG and Anobi. Switch the torch for a

and Anobi. Switch the torch for a

and Anobi. Switch the torch for a basketball. And it's basically THE SAME

basketball. And it's basically THE SAME

basketball. And it's basically THE SAME POSE. WHO'S WITH ME? HUH?

>> Come on, Costa. You don't celebrate a

>> Come on, Costa. You don't celebrate a

>> Come on, Costa. You don't celebrate a man like that with a statue. You honor

man like that with a statue. You honor

man like that with a statue. You honor him by putting him above the law. OG

him by putting him above the law. OG

him by putting him above the law. OG Aninobi is now allowed to hunt any New

Aninobi is now allowed to hunt any New

Aninobi is now allowed to hunt any New Yorker he wants for school.

Yorker he wants for school.

Yorker he wants for school. Also, Timothy Shalomé is OG's new

Also, Timothy Shalomé is OG's new

Also, Timothy Shalomé is OG's new manservant.

manservant.

manservant. That's right. You do whatever that man

That's right. You do whatever that man

That's right. You do whatever that man tells you, Timmy. And I mean anything.

tells you, Timmy. And I mean anything.

tells you, Timmy. And I mean anything. ANYTHING.

ANYTHING.

ANYTHING. Which brings us to our Bang Bang Better

Which brings us to our Bang Bang Better

Which brings us to our Bang Bang Better The Night is OG and an OB the new Jesus

The Night is OG and an OB the new Jesus

The Night is OG and an OB the new Jesus brought to you by Gambling. Gambling.

brought to you by Gambling. Gambling.

brought to you by Gambling. Gambling. You can't spell God without OG.

You can't spell God without OG.

You can't spell God without OG. Moving on from the New York Knicks to

Moving on from the New York Knicks to

Moving on from the New York Knicks to the New York Knicks, [\h__\h]

the New York Knicks, [\h__\h]

the New York Knicks, [\h__\h] >> Last night was filled with joy and

>> Last night was filled with joy and

>> Last night was filled with joy and celebration. And it wasn't just from

celebration. And it wasn't just from

celebration. And it wasn't just from Long Island scumbags coming going nuts

Long Island scumbags coming going nuts

Long Island scumbags coming going nuts inside the garden.

inside the garden.

inside the garden. >> The improbable outcome leaving courtside

>> The improbable outcome leaving courtside

>> The improbable outcome leaving courtside celebs like Jerry Seinfeld mouthing I

celebs like Jerry Seinfeld mouthing I

celebs like Jerry Seinfeld mouthing I can't.

can't.

can't. >> Barisa Haray just jumping up and down

>> Barisa Haray just jumping up and down

>> Barisa Haray just jumping up and down going crazy.

going crazy.

going crazy. >> Taylor Swift dancing with the crowd.

>> Taylor Swift dancing with the crowd.

>> Taylor Swift dancing with the crowd. >> Timothy Shalamé threw his shirt off. It

>> Timothy Shalamé threw his shirt off. It

>> Timothy Shalamé threw his shirt off. It was incredible.

>> Hey, Timmy, put your shirt back on. You

>> Hey, Timmy, put your shirt back on. You

>> Hey, Timmy, put your shirt back on. You don't undress unless OG Anobi tells you

don't undress unless OG Anobi tells you

don't undress unless OG Anobi tells you you can, right?

you can, right?

you can, right? And hey,

And hey,

And hey, hey, Taylor Swift, you might as well

hey, Taylor Swift, you might as well

hey, Taylor Swift, you might as well cancel your wedding at MSG because

cancel your wedding at MSG because

cancel your wedding at MSG because there's no way your marriage will top

there's no way your marriage will top

there's no way your marriage will top what you felt last night.

what you felt last night.

what you felt last night. >> Ronnie. Ronnie, I'm going to have to

>> Ronnie. Ronnie, I'm going to have to

>> Ronnie. Ronnie, I'm going to have to shake that awful take off. These

shake that awful take off. These

shake that awful take off. These celebrities should be ashamed. Just

celebrities should be ashamed. Just

celebrities should be ashamed. Just because they're famous doesn't mean they

because they're famous doesn't mean they

because they're famous doesn't mean they can take away seats from the hardworking

can take away seats from the hardworking

can take away seats from the hardworking billionaires of this city. Seriously,

billionaires of this city. Seriously,

billionaires of this city. Seriously, what the hell is Detective Benson doing

what the hell is Detective Benson doing

what the hell is Detective Benson doing at the game? I guess we're just letting

at the game? I guess we're just letting

at the game? I guess we're just letting pedophiles run rampant in the city

pedophiles run rampant in the city

pedophiles run rampant in the city tonight. Costa, you're just jealous

tonight. Costa, you're just jealous

tonight. Costa, you're just jealous because you weren't even famous enough

because you weren't even famous enough

because you weren't even famous enough to get into a watch party. Courtzside

to get into a watch party. Courtzside

to get into a watch party. Courtzside celebrities is what makes basketball in

celebrities is what makes basketball in

celebrities is what makes basketball in New York so exciting. The closest thing

New York so exciting. The closest thing

New York so exciting. The closest thing San Antonio has to a star is that cactus

San Antonio has to a star is that cactus

San Antonio has to a star is that cactus that looks like Queslo.

that looks like Queslo.

that looks like Queslo. I guess it's true what they say.

I guess it's true what they say.

I guess it's true what they say. Everything is bigger in Texas, including

Everything is bigger in Texas, including

Everything is bigger in Texas, including the biggest collapse in NBA Finals

the biggest collapse in NBA Finals

the biggest collapse in NBA Finals history.

Which brings us to our c best bet. Which

Which brings us to our c best bet. Which

Which brings us to our c best bet. Which of San Antonio's biggest celebrities

of San Antonio's biggest celebrities

of San Antonio's biggest celebrities will be courtside for game five? Brought

will be courtside for game five? Brought

will be courtside for game five? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. You can

to you by gambling. Gambling. You can

to you by gambling. Gambling. You can walk perfectly fine with four toes.

walk perfectly fine with four toes.

walk perfectly fine with four toes. Now it's time for our sports war

Now it's time for our sports war

Now it's time for our sports war halftime report. Let's go live to Grace

halftime report. Let's go live to Grace

halftime report. Let's go live to Grace Coolen Smith.

Coolen Smith.

Coolen Smith. >> Hey boys. Wow. New York is buzzing. And

>> Hey boys. Wow. New York is buzzing. And

>> Hey boys. Wow. New York is buzzing. And it's all because today is the first

it's all because today is the first

it's all because today is the first official day of the World Cup.

official day of the World Cup.

official day of the World Cup. >> GET THAT [\h__\h] OUT OF HERE.

>> GET THAT [\h__\h] OUT OF HERE.

>> GET THAT [\h__\h] OUT OF HERE. >> SHUT THE GIVES A soccer go.

>> SHUT THE GIVES A soccer go.

>> SHUT THE GIVES A soccer go. >> That was close.

>> That was close.

>> That was close. >> Oh man. Yeah, that was almost not about

>> Oh man. Yeah, that was almost not about

>> Oh man. Yeah, that was almost not about the Knicks, which brings us to the other

the Knicks, which brings us to the other

the Knicks, which brings us to the other most important thing happening in sports

most important thing happening in sports

most important thing happening in sports in New York. THE NEW YORK KNICKS.

in New York. THE NEW YORK KNICKS.

in New York. THE NEW YORK KNICKS. >> AND THIS WEEK,

>> AND THIS WEEK,

>> AND THIS WEEK, New York isn't just bleeding blue and

New York isn't just bleeding blue and

New York isn't just bleeding blue and orange. It's eating it, too.

orange. It's eating it, too.

orange. It's eating it, too. >> Nicks fever has taken over the city.

>> Nicks fever has taken over the city.

>> Nicks fever has taken over the city. >> These are the Knicks bagels.

>> These are the Knicks bagels.

>> These are the Knicks bagels. >> They've got Nick's cupcakes. They have

>> They've got Nick's cupcakes. They have

>> They've got Nick's cupcakes. They have these rainbow cookies.

these rainbow cookies.

these rainbow cookies. >> The BEC Brunson egg and cheese.

>> The BEC Brunson egg and cheese.

>> The BEC Brunson egg and cheese. >> Carl Anthony Towns strawberry shortcake.

>> Carl Anthony Towns strawberry shortcake.

>> Carl Anthony Towns strawberry shortcake. Jaylen Brunson, Riatoni with spicy vodka

Jaylen Brunson, Riatoni with spicy vodka

Jaylen Brunson, Riatoni with spicy vodka and bara.

and bara.

and bara. >> That's right. This city has blue and

>> That's right. This city has blue and

>> That's right. This city has blue and orange fever. Finally, there's a disease

orange fever. Finally, there's a disease

orange fever. Finally, there's a disease Costa doesn't have to have an

Costa doesn't have to have an

Costa doesn't have to have an uncomfortable conversation with his wife

uncomfortable conversation with his wife

uncomfortable conversation with his wife about. But I have to admit, this food

about. But I have to admit, this food

about. But I have to admit, this food does look disgusting. I don't want my

does look disgusting. I don't want my

does look disgusting. I don't want my bagel looking like I had a three-way

bagel looking like I had a three-way

bagel looking like I had a three-way with Garfield and a member of the Blue

with Garfield and a member of the Blue

with Garfield and a member of the Blue Man group. All right. Seriously, I love

Man group. All right. Seriously, I love

Man group. All right. Seriously, I love the Knicks, but it is it worth [\h__\h]

the Knicks, but it is it worth [\h__\h]

the Knicks, but it is it worth [\h__\h] blue and orange for the rest of your

blue and orange for the rest of your

blue and orange for the rest of your life for

life for

life for yes.

yes.

yes. A thousand times yes. I'm just finally

A thousand times yes. I'm just finally

A thousand times yes. I'm just finally excited to have a reason for it.

excited to have a reason for it.

excited to have a reason for it. I've seen 12 doctors and still not a

I've seen 12 doctors and still not a

I've seen 12 doctors and still not a clue. The point is I will eat whatever

clue. The point is I will eat whatever

clue. The point is I will eat whatever it takes for the Knicks to win the

it takes for the Knicks to win the

it takes for the Knicks to win the Brunson egg and cheese, the cat

Brunson egg and cheese, the cat

Brunson egg and cheese, the cat strawberry shortcake, Mal Caesar salad,

strawberry shortcake, Mal Caesar salad,

strawberry shortcake, Mal Caesar salad, Jose avocado toast, OG's ass. It's worth

Jose avocado toast, OG's ass. It's worth

Jose avocado toast, OG's ass. It's worth It's worth the Josh heart attack and the

It's worth the Josh heart attack and the

It's worth the Josh heart attack and the explosive MUHAMMAD DIWARA. LET'S GO

explosive MUHAMMAD DIWARA. LET'S GO

explosive MUHAMMAD DIWARA. LET'S GO KNICKS.

>> Shut up, Costa. You're from Detroit.

>> Shut up, Costa. You're from Detroit.

>> Shut up, Costa. You're from Detroit. Which brings us to our barbonic better

Which brings us to our barbonic better

Which brings us to our barbonic better than night. How long until Michael Costa

than night. How long until Michael Costa

than night. How long until Michael Costa dies of Nick's fever? Brought to you by

dies of Nick's fever? Brought to you by

dies of Nick's fever? Brought to you by gambling. Gambling. My mayor's Muslim.

gambling. Gambling. My mayor's Muslim.

gambling. Gambling. My mayor's Muslim. My bagels are gambling. My gambling is

My bagels are gambling. My gambling is

My bagels are gambling. My gambling is gambling. Gambling and gambling.

gambling. Gambling and gambling.

gambling. Gambling and gambling. >> Well, look, that's that's all the time

>> Well, look, that's that's all the time

>> Well, look, that's that's all the time we have for sportsware. Join us next

we have for sportsware. Join us next

we have for sportsware. Join us next week when we discuss whether we care

week when we discuss whether we care

week when we discuss whether we care about the World Cup. I say no.

about the World Cup. I say no.

about the World Cup. I say no. >> Well, I say no, too.

>> Well, I say no, too.

>> Well, I say no, too. >> You're supposed to disagree with me.

>> You're supposed to disagree with me.

>> You're supposed to disagree with me. >> No, you're supposed to disagree with me.

>> No, you're supposed to disagree with me.

>> No, you're supposed to disagree with me. I do the whole thing. Shut the

heat.