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FOX TELEVISION
PROUDLY PRESENTS...
2
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:08,073
THE WORLD'S VERY FIRST CONDOM
COMMERCIAL ON NETWORK TELEVISION.
3
00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:12,410
DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW
I DO ALL THESE ROUTINES?
4
00:00:12,479 --> 00:00:17,215
SEE, I DO THE ROUTINES ABOUT
THE LITTLE KIDS BECAUSE I LIKE KIDS.
5
00:00:17,284 --> 00:00:20,152
BUT THEN THEY START TO GROW
UP AND BECOME TEENAGERS,
6
00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:23,221
AND I DON'T LIKE THEM ANYMORE
BECAUSE THEY'RE STUPID.
7
00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:28,126
THEY'RE JUST STUPID. SEE,
MY OLDEST SON IS STUPID.
8
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,863
THE OTHER DAY, I WAS TRYING
TO GET INTO THE BATHROOM,
9
00:00:30,931 --> 00:00:36,068
AND HE TELLS ME THAT HE WON'T
LET ME IN BECAUSE HE'S TRYING TO GO.
10
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:41,039
BUT EVERY TIME HE TRIES TO GO, IT
FEELS LIKE HIS PUDDING POP IS ON FIRE.
11
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,378
NOW,
12
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:50,215
MY BOY'S GOT BACK DRAFT
GOING OUT HIS BOXER SHORTS.
13
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:56,321
YOU SEE. AND, SEE, IT'S ALL BECAUSE
HE DIDN'T USE ANY PROTECTION!
14
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,323
NO PROTECTION, SEE?
15
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,859
THIS IS WHY I'M ENDORSING...
16
00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:03,328
THE COSBY CONDOM.
17
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:09,601
SEE. THE COSBY CONDOM.
18
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,038
OKAY. SEE, THAT'S WHY, SEE...
19
00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,040
AND THEY COME IN A
VARIETY OF COLORS,
20
00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:18,410
FROM THE RED STRAWBERRY
TO THE LEMON YELLOW.
21
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:27,752
THEY COME IN THE GREEN GRAPE
AND THE PURPLE PASSION FRUIT, SEE.
22
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:29,821
AND, SEE, THERE'S
EVEN A SPECIAL...
23
00:01:29,889 --> 00:01:32,757
SEE, IF YOU GET INTO THE BOX,
THEY GIVE YOU A SPECIAL ONE.
24
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,792
IT'S WHAT I CALL THE...
25
00:01:34,861 --> 00:01:38,964
"HEY! HEY! HEY!" CONDOM, SEE.
26
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,436
SO THAT'S WHY... SEE, WHEN
YOU'RE WITH YOUR WOMAN, SEE,
27
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:48,039
AND YOU START WHISPERING, YOU KNOW,
SWEET LITTLE NOTHINGS INTO THE EAR...
28
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,909
AND IT'S "FARVY,
FARVIES, FAR-FA-FAR-FAR."
29
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:54,179
SEE, AND NOW YOUR TONGUE
IS GOING INTO THE EAR...
30
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:57,282
THEN YOUR WIFE, CAMILLE'S, EYES
STARTS GOING UP INTO THE HEAD,
31
00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:59,551
SEE, AND SHE STARTS
MAKING THOSE SOUNDS LIKE...
32
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,291
AND THEN SHE STARTS
MAKING FACES LIKE, YOU KNOW...
33
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:13,732
AND THEN YOU FEEL SAFE IN KNOWING
THAT YOU WON'T GET ANY FUNKY DISEASES.
34
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,901
AND YOU ALWAYS WILL KNOW
YOU WON'T MAKE ANY KIDS...
35
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,271
THAT WILL GROW UP
AND BECOME STUPID!
36
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:24,509
SO BEFORE YOU DIP YOUR
SPOON INTO THE PUDDING,
37
00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:35,553
MAKE SURE YOU'RE
WEARING A COSBY CONDOM!
38
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,822
THANK YOU.
39
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:41,359
TAKE IT FROM AMERICA'S
MOST BELOVED FATHER...
40
00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,361
I'D RATHER BE SINGLE!
41
00:02:45,632 --> 00:02:46,632
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
42
00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:47,844
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
43
00:02:47,868 --> 00:02:50,001
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
44
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:56,374
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
45
00:02:56,443 --> 00:03:00,912
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
46
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,783
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
47
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:09,120
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
48
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,823
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP AND
SIP ON A DREAM ♪ ♪ YEAH ♪
49
00:03:11,891 --> 00:03:14,091
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE ON A
FUNKY SCENE ♪ ♪ ALL RIGHT ♪
50
00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:16,639
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
51
00:03:16,663 --> 00:03:18,241
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
52
00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,443
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
53
00:03:20,467 --> 00:03:22,478
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
54
00:03:22,502 --> 00:03:24,580
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
55
00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,704
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
56
00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,974
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
57
00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:31,009
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
58
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,178
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
59
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:34,657
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
60
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,381
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
61
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:39,684
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
62
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,831
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
63
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:44,266
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
64
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,626
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
65
00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:53,532
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
66
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:58,035
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
67
00:03:58,104 --> 00:03:59,337
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
68
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:01,206
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
69
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:09,314
FRIDAY, SEE ALL YOUR FAVORITE
STAND-UP STEREOTYPES...
70
00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,617
ON H.B.O.'S TIRED COMEDY NITE.
71
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,851
MEET THE INSECURE GIRL.
72
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,888
BETWEEN COLONEL SANDERS
AND THE HÄAGEN-DAZS, YOU KNOW.
73
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,026
I MEAN, YOU EVER HEARD
OF THUNDER THIGHS?
74
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:23,294
I MEAN, I... I GOT
SONIC BOOM THIGHS.
75
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:30,702
MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK IS TICKING SO
LOUD... I WENT OUT TO DINNER LAST NIGHT,
76
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:32,916
AND THEY HAD TO CALL
IN THE BOMB SQUAD.
77
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,140
OR GET CRAZY WITH THE OLD GUY.
78
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:39,711
THE WHOLE WORLD IS CRAZY, MAN!
79
00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:46,417
MAN, WOMEN TODAY...
WOMEN TODAY ARE CRAZY, MAN!
80
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,856
MY WIFE... Y'ALL
DON'T KNOW MY WIFE...
81
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,625
'CAUSE MY WIFE IS CRAZY, MAN!
82
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:58,029
YOU EVER EAT CHEESE DOODLES?
83
00:04:58,097 --> 00:05:01,400
CHEESE DOODLES ARE CRAZY!
84
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:04,236
OR HOW ABOUT THE
INSIGHTS OF MR. STEREOTYPE!
85
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,339
BUT YOU EVER CHECK OUT, LIKE, WHITE
PEOPLE, MAN, WHEN THEY'RE LIKE JUST TYPING?
86
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,341
LIKE, DOING THE
TYPEWRITER JUST...
87
00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:15,480
BUT, LISTEN, BROTHERS BE TYPING... THEY
BE TYPING WITH THEIR ELBOWS. THEY ALL...
88
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:17,927
OR YOU EVER CHECK OUT, LIKE,
SURGEONS? LIKE, WHITE SURGEONS...
89
00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:19,929
WHEN THEY'RE, LIKE, DOING
SURGERY, THEY'RE LIKE,
90
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:22,553
"PASS ME THE SCALPEL, PLEASE."
BUT LET IT BE SOME BROTHERS, RIGHT?
91
00:05:22,622 --> 00:05:24,856
THEY'D BE LIKE, "YO, HOMEGIRL,
PASS ME THE SCALPEL.
92
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,858
I'M 'BOUT TO CUT UP SOME RIBS!"
93
00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,361
ALL Y'ALL, CHECK OUT.
94
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:32,230
NO, HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD
YOURSELF, THOUGH. HOLD YOURSELF.
95
00:05:32,299 --> 00:05:34,666
HOLD... NO, SEE,
HOLD UP. HOLD UP.
96
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,713
WHITE PRESIDENTS, THEY GO
FISHING AND TALKING ABOUT,
97
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:39,071
"A THOUSAND POINTS OF LIGHT,"
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
98
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,072
BUT LET IT BE A BLACK
PRESIDENT, JACK.
99
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,253
SEE, WE BE EATING THE
FISH, RIGHT, TALKING ABOUT,
100
00:05:43,277 --> 00:05:45,209
"WHO DIDN'T PAY THE LIGHT BILL?"
101
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:48,880
AND WHO'D WANT TO MISS
THE STUPID PROP GUY?
102
00:05:48,948 --> 00:05:51,182
I'LL BE BACK.
103
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:57,822
OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. OKAY.
104
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:00,925
BLACK BALL, WHITE BALL...
105
00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,927
JUGGLE FEVER!
106
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,566
OKAY, FOR MY LAST PIECE,
107
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:13,305
I WOULD LIKE TO DEMONSTRATE THAT I AM
NOT ONLY A BRILLIANT STAND-UP COMEDIAN,
108
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:18,376
I AM ALSO A VERY
ACCOMPLISHED ESCAPE ARTIST.
109
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,279
OKAY!
110
00:06:23,817 --> 00:06:27,118
IT'S A LAUGH-O-RAMA
YOU WON'T WANT TO MISS!
111
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,755
SO JOIN US THIS FRIDAY, LIVE FROM
THE WACKY DOODLES NIGHTCLUB,
112
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,925
FOR H.B.O.'S TIRED COMEDY NITE!
113
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:41,566
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO
THE FULTON COMMUNITY FILM FESTIVAL.
114
00:06:41,635 --> 00:06:45,470
OUR FIRST FILM, MY ARMS ARE TOO
SHORT TO SLAP YOU UPSIDE YOUR HEAD,
115
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,505
WILL BEGIN IN FIVE MINUTES.
116
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:53,611
THIS IS IT, MAMA!
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00:06:57,484 --> 00:07:01,186
AFTER EVERYONE SEES MY FILM
DEBUT, I'M GONNA BE A BIG STAR.
118
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,232
AND THEY'RE GONNA
MAKE A LIL MAGIC DOLL...
119
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:06,035
WITH ADJUSTABLE HAIR
EXTENSIONS. UH, LIL MAGIC...
120
00:07:06,059 --> 00:07:08,393
WE CAN MOVE OUT OF THE
PROJECTS AND INTO A TRAILER PARK...
121
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,940
AND GET A PLASTIC POOL
AND PUT IT IN THE FRONT YARD.
122
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,676
LIL MAGIC... AND YOU CAN GET THE
FAT SUCKED OUT OF YOUR BUTT...
123
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:16,934
SO IT DON'T LOOK LIKE A BEAN
BAG CHAIR NO MORE. OH, HUSH UP!
124
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:19,137
SORRY, MAMA. OH, THAT'S MY BABY,
125
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,773
BUT YOU KNOW MAMA CAN'T THINK
WHEN YOU'RE DOING ALL THAT TALKIN'!
126
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:24,141
I KNOW, MAMA!
127
00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,277
NOW LOOK HERE. YOU
STAY RIGHT HERE, LIL MAGIC,
128
00:07:26,346 --> 00:07:28,346
AND DON'T LET NOBODY
COME IN THIS HERE ROOM.
129
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:30,297
DON'T WORRY, MAMA, I
WON'T. NOT EVEN IF THE
130
00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:32,183
MOST FAMOUS PRODUCER
COMES TO ME AND SAYS,
131
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,597
"HI! YOU'RE THE MOST
TALENTED, LITTLEST GIRL...
132
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:37,388
IN THE WHOLE WIDE, HUMONGOUS,
'BUBBLICIOUS, ' 'BUFASCIOUS'..."
133
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:40,725
- HUSH UP!
- SORRY, MAMA.
134
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,828
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING OVER THERE?
135
00:07:43,897 --> 00:07:49,000
HI! I'M LIL MAGIC,
MISS SMILE BRITE, 1987!
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00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,949
SEE! PLEASE. SIT DOWN.
137
00:07:54,741 --> 00:07:56,741
HI!
138
00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:06,028
YOU GONNA BE A STAR, BABY!
139
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:14,626
HI! I'M THE MIRACLE WORKER.
140
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:19,363
YOU MUST BE LITTLE HELEN
KELLER, THE BLIND AND DEAF GIRL.
141
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,566
YOU CANNOT SEE
NOR HEAR. COME HERE.
142
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,835
LET ME TEACH YOU SIGN LANGUAGE.
143
00:08:28,442 --> 00:08:30,608
OH, YOU SUCH A PRETTY GIRL.
144
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:32,855
AND I'LL BET YOU'RE
TALENTED TOO. I AM!
145
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,713
NOW, LIL MAGIC. HOW MANY
TIMES I DONE TOLD YOU, BABY...
146
00:08:35,782 --> 00:08:37,715
YOU CAN'T TALK, YOU BLIND.
147
00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:40,218
OH, I'M SORRY, MAMA.
148
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,921
S-SORRY.
149
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:47,024
NOW, SIT DOWN. I'M GONNA
TEACH YOU HOW TO USE A SPOON.
150
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,059
GO AND SIT DOWN, GIRL.
151
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,706
NO!
152
00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,844
NO!
153
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:08,312
MAYBE SHE MIGHT COULD USE TWO.
154
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,120
OH, MY!
155
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:17,855
A BLIND AND DEAF GIRL
WHO CAN PLAY THE SPOONS...
156
00:09:17,925 --> 00:09:20,291
AND SING AND DANCE!
157
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:25,931
♪ AND I AM TELLIN' YOU ♪
158
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,633
- GO, HELEN KELLER! GO!
- ♪ I'M NOT GOING ♪
159
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:32,103
♪ YOU'RE THE BEST
MAN I'LL EVER KNOW ♪
160
00:09:32,172 --> 00:09:34,406
♪ THERE'S NO WAY I
COULD EVER GO ♪♪
161
00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,574
SWALLOW THE CANE, BABY.
SWALLOW THE CANE, LIL MAGIC.
162
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,576
WAIT. YOU FORGOT
TO SET IT ON FIRE.
163
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,145
OH! SORRY, MAMA.
164
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:44,649
THAT'S IT.
165
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,318
THAT WAS WONDERFUL!
166
00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,687
GUESS YOU WERE RIGHT,
MAMA. I'M GONNA BE A BIG STAR!
167
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,734
OH, MAMA KNOWS, LIL MAGIC.
168
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:54,069
YOU KNOW, THEY BOOED
TODD BRIDGES AND J.J. WALKER...
169
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:56,494
WHEN THEY FIRST STARTED,
AND LOOK WHERE THEY AT NOW.
170
00:09:56,563 --> 00:09:58,641
COME ON. LET'S GO
CELEBRATE AT THE FATBURGER.
171
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:01,866
CAN I HAVE THE WHOLE
HAMBURGER THIS TIME? OH, HUSH UP!
172
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:04,769
YOU BETTER PUT THAT DOWN.
WE ARE WATCHING. COME ON, BABY.
173
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,310
HE'S SAFE!
174
00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:20,318
DON'T LOOK SO DOWN,
SON. IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.
175
00:10:20,387 --> 00:10:22,354
YES, IT WAS, DAD.
176
00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,400
I PLAYED HORRIBLE
THE WHOLE GAME.
177
00:10:24,424 --> 00:10:26,358
I JUST WASN'T MYSELF.
178
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:30,495
IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR CONFIDENCE IS
DOWN. IS THERE SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND?
179
00:10:30,563 --> 00:10:33,698
I DON'T KNOW. I
JUST DON'T FEEL...
180
00:10:33,766 --> 00:10:36,934
- FRESH?
- WELL, YEAH.
181
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:41,171
IT'S HARD TO CONCENTRATE WHEN YOU'RE
WORRIED ABOUT MASCULINE HYGIENE, ISN'T IT?
182
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,509
YEAH. WELL, WHAT
SHOULD I DO ABOUT IT?
183
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:48,413
- TRY THESE.
- TES-T-SHIELDS?
184
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,982
THEY'RE PROTECTIVE
LININGS YOU PUT IN YOUR CUP...
185
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:52,983
TO GIVE YOU MORE CONFIDENCE.
186
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,854
EACH TES-T-SHIELD IS
FILLED WITH TINY AIR TUNNELS,
187
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:58,522
ALLOWING COOL AIR TO
CIRCULATE THROUGHOUT YOUR CUP.
188
00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,260
AT THE SAME TIME, AROMA SENSORS
RELEASE AN EXHILARATING FRAGRANCE,
189
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,562
HELPING YOU STAY FRESH ALL DAY.
190
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,964
WOW! TES-T-SHIELDS
DOES ALL THAT?
191
00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,567
AND MORE. THEY EVEN
COME WITH WINGS.
192
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:11,502
WINGS? WELL, WHAT FOR?
193
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,372
LORD KNOWS. BUT THE IMPORTANT
THING IS, IS THEY'RE COMFORTABLE.
194
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,353
HOW DO YOU KNOW
SO MUCH ABOUT THIS?
195
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,510
SON, DO YOU SMELL THAT PINE TAR?
196
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:22,814
YEAH.
197
00:11:22,883 --> 00:11:24,982
I'M WEARING 'EM RIGHT NOW.
198
00:11:25,051 --> 00:11:27,385
EVEN AT MY AGE, I
NEED A LITTLE MORE.
199
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:30,454
WOW. I'LL GIVE THESE
TES-T-SHIELDS A TRY.
200
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:37,161
HE'S OUT!
201
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,032
SON, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU
GOT YOUR CONFIDENCE BACK.
202
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:44,535
THANKS TO YOU, DAD. NO,
THANKS TO TES-T-SHIELDS.
203
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,639
TES-T-SHIELDS FROM PLAYFREE.
204
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:51,208
THE MANLY WAY TO STAY FRESH,
CONFIDENT AND PROTECTED ALL DAY LONG.
205
00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:55,780
NOW AVAILABLE IN THREE SCENTS...
PINE TAR, HERBAL AND COWHIDE LEATHER.
206
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:59,150
IN THE GREAT TRADITION OF BLACK
CHARACTERS IN CROSSOVER FILMS,
207
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,686
SIDEKICK'S BACK, AND
THIS TIME HE'S IN 'NAM.
208
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,701
ARE THERE REAL
BULLETS IN THIS THING?
209
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,524
NOW!
210
00:12:07,593 --> 00:12:09,627
I CAN'T TAKE IT, MAN.
211
00:12:09,695 --> 00:12:12,607
COME ON, MAN. SHOW THESE
BASTARDS WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!
212
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:16,233
NOW! YOU'VE GOT TO BE
BRAVE FOR ME, MAN. REMEMBER?
213
00:12:16,302 --> 00:12:18,502
I'M THE BLACK GUY.
214
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,573
- OH, YEAH, SORRY.
- NOW!
215
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,575
NOBODY DOES THAT TO MY FRIEND!
216
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,711
OH, MY GOD. WAS I HIT?
217
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:29,147
I GREASED HIM, MAN. COME
ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
218
00:12:29,216 --> 00:12:32,449
HEY, THANKS, PARTNER. YOU'RE THE
BEST. I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOU, MAN.
219
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,919
STAY BEHIND ME. SURE THING.
220
00:12:37,056 --> 00:12:40,391
♪ IT WAS JUST MY IMAGINATION ♪
221
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:45,729
♪ RUNNIN' AWAY
WITH ME ♪ HOLD IT.
222
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,811
GREAT. THE TEMPS, MAN. WE USED
TO GROOVE TO THIS BACK HOME.
223
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:51,068
DAMN. WE ALMOST
RAN INTO A BOOBY TRAP.
224
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:53,070
YEAH. CHARLIE.
225
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:55,118
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OVER IT.
226
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:58,642
♪♪
227
00:13:06,653 --> 00:13:09,586
OKAY, THIS WAY.
228
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,256
UH, YEAH. RIGHT.
229
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:15,560
IT'S AN AMBUSH. GET DOWN!
230
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,895
OH, NO! BLOOD!
231
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:19,864
I'VE BEEN HIT IN MY PINKY!
232
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,866
OWEE. OWEE!
233
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:25,169
I DON'T WANNA DIE. I
GOTTA SEE MY MAMA AGAIN.
234
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:27,216
COME ON, PAL. IT'S JUST A NICK.
235
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,108
I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.
I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS.
236
00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,111
COME ON. HANG ON, BUDDY.
HANG ON. I CAN'T, MAN!
237
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,947
I HAVE TO DIE. WHY? WHY?
238
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,349
SO YOU CAN GO CRAZY AND
GET REVENGE ON CHARLIE...
239
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,752
BY WINNING THE BATTLE
SINGLE-HANDEDLY.
240
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,422
OH, YEAH.
241
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:54,364
NO!
242
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:57,835
SIDEKICK GIVES A WHOLE NEW
MEANING TO JUNGLE FEVER IN...
243
00:13:57,904 --> 00:13:59,837
SIDEKICK IN 'NAM!
244
00:13:59,906 --> 00:14:02,039
COMING FROM FOX.
245
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:05,143
♪ WHAT YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
246
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,512
♪ WHAT YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
247
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,181
♪ WHAT YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
248
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,383
♪ WHAT YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
249
00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:15,119
♪ OH, BABY ♪ ♪ WHAT
YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
250
00:14:15,188 --> 00:14:17,588
♪ WHAT YOU SAY, UH OOH, YEAH ♪
251
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:19,923
♪ THIS IS A HUSTLE
DON'T WANNA TUSSLE ♪
252
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:22,126
♪ JUST HELP ME THAT'S
FOR SURE ♪ ♪ OOH, YEAH ♪
253
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,795
♪ OH, BABY ♪
254
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,465
♪ MM-MM-MM ♪
255
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,201
♪ THIS IS A HUSTLE
DON'T WANNA TUSSLE ♪♪
256
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,273
HEY, MAN, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
THIS BLIND DATE THING, MAN.
257
00:14:36,341 --> 00:14:38,754
OH, MAN, DON'T BAIL OUT ON ME
NOW, MAN. IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
258
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:42,246
I PROMISE YOU. TONIGHT WILL BE
A NIGHT YOU WILL NEVER FORGET.
259
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:49,720
GIRL, HOW DO I LOOK? I TOLD
YOU, WANDA, YOU LOOK FINE.
260
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,829
OH, YOU DON'T THINK THIS
DRESS IS TOO TIGHT, DO YOU?
261
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,559
NO, GIRL, YOU LOOK PERFECT.
OKAY, THEN. OKAY, THEN.
262
00:14:55,627 --> 00:14:58,347
COME ON. THERE THEY ARE.
PUT THE COMPACT AWAY.
263
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:07,437
GIRL, I HOPE HE AIN'T UGLY
'CAUSE I CAN'T STAND NO UGLY MAN.
264
00:15:07,506 --> 00:15:10,808
NO, NO, NO. HE'S CUTE.
265
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:14,145
OH, NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
NO, SHE... NO, SHE DIDN'T.
266
00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:17,047
SHE DONE TRY TO
HAVE MY DRESS ON.
267
00:15:17,115 --> 00:15:19,093
SHE JUST... AND UGLY.
268
00:15:19,117 --> 00:15:22,097
WANDA, THAT'S NOT
NICE. THAT'S NOT RIGHT.
269
00:15:22,121 --> 00:15:25,055
IF SHE UGLY, SHE JUST UGLY.
AIN'T NO IFS, ANDS OR BUTS.
270
00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:27,824
WHO YOU LOOKIN' AT? COME ON.
271
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:35,432
DAMN! HEY! WAIT,
WAIT! WHOA! WHOA!
272
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,668
WAIT UP! WAIT UP, NOW!
273
00:15:42,074 --> 00:15:44,442
THIS IS CARL. THIS IS WANDA.
274
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,877
CARL. WANDA.
275
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,913
OH. OH!
276
00:15:49,982 --> 00:15:53,684
I'M... I'M SORRY.
277
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,587
HE IS CUTE, GIRL. I TOLD YOU.
278
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,928
CALM DOWN. YOU'RE SO STIFF!
279
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,430
WELL, YOU GONNA PULL
MY CHAIR OUT FOR ME?
280
00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:14,104
YOU'RE CRAZY.
281
00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:19,543
OOH! MY THROAT IS DRY.
282
00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:21,856
OOH, CAN WE GET SOMETHIN'
TO DRINK OR SOMETHIN'?
283
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,883
BARTENDER, GIVE ME
SOME WATER. WATER?
284
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:29,519
UH, SO THIS IS REALLY
NICE. UM, WANDA,
285
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:32,189
TAMMY TELLS ME THAT
YOU WENT TO POLY "U"?
286
00:16:32,258 --> 00:16:34,725
OH, OH, YEAH. THAT'S
RIGHT. FOR REAL, THOUGH.
287
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,093
I WAS STUDYING IN
COMMUNICATIONS.
288
00:16:37,162 --> 00:16:40,602
BUT, UH, I'M TRYIN'
TO GO INTO MODELING.
289
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:43,713
INTERESTING. THAT'S INTERESTING,
SEE, 'CAUSE CARL HERE,
290
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:47,304
HE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER. OH,
FOR REAL THOUGH? FOR REAL?
291
00:16:47,373 --> 00:16:49,851
WELL, YOU COULD TAKE SOME
PICTURES OF ME 'CAUSE, SEE,
292
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,987
MY MAMA ALWAYS SAID THAT
I WAS REAL "PHOTOGENTICAL."
293
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:55,290
AND, SEE, I WANNA TAKE
SOME OF THOSE SEXY PICTURES,
294
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,892
YOU KNOW, IN THEM
"LINGERAY" DRAWS.
295
00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:01,551
YOU KNOW, "LINGERAY." UH, UH,
LOOK. I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM.
296
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,689
GIMME YOUR KEYS, MAN! MAN, YOU
AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE, CARL. YOU OWE ME.
297
00:17:05,757 --> 00:17:08,092
MAN, THE GIRL LOOKS
LIKE A DAMN JACKAL!
298
00:17:09,594 --> 00:17:12,173
LOOK, DON'T START WITH ME, MAN.
YOU REMEMBER BETHESDA WILLIS?
299
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,965
SHE LOOKED LIKE EARNIE SHAVERS,
MAN. I WAS POPPIN' BLACKHEADS ALL NIGHT.
300
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:19,135
MAN, YOU GONNA HOLD
THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW? YES!
301
00:17:19,205 --> 00:17:21,282
JUST STAY HERE TILL I
GIVE YOU THE SIGNAL.
302
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,418
CHILL, MAN. IS SOMETHIN' WRONG?
303
00:17:23,442 --> 00:17:25,375
UH, NO, BABY, BUT...
304
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,556
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
YOUR FRIEND WAS CUTE.
305
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,381
WELL, I THINK SHE IS CUTE. AND, UH,
BESIDES, IT'S NOT WHAT'S ON THE OUTSIDE,
306
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,617
IT'S WHAT'S ON THE
INSIDE THAT COUNTS.
307
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:36,153
WELL, SOMEBODY SHOULD
FLIP HER UGLY ASS INSIDE OUT.
308
00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:46,564
WHAT DID HE SAY? I
KNOW YOU NOT TRIPPIN'.
309
00:17:46,632 --> 00:17:48,810
NO, NO. HE SAID... HE SAID...
I KNOW HE IS NOT TRIPPIN'.
310
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:53,136
HE SAID MAYBE Y'ALL SHOULD GET OUT ON THE
DANCE FLOOR AND TURN THIS MAMMA JAMMA OUT.
311
00:17:53,205 --> 00:17:55,906
RIGHT. I HEARD YOU
ALL. LET'S GO DANCE.
312
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:59,109
COME ON. I DON'T
LIKE THE DEEJAY.
313
00:17:59,178 --> 00:18:01,857
WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS JUST TALK?
YOU KNOW, GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
314
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,593
I BET YOU HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
FOR REAL. FOR REAL THOUGH.
315
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:07,084
NOW, LOOK HERE, MY
LITTLE CHOCOLATE ANGEL,
316
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:12,055
HOW MIGHT A BROTHER LIKE MYSELF
GET ALL UP ON THIS FRAME OF YOURS?
317
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,524
WELL, JUST KEEP
SAYIN' THE RIGHT THING.
318
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,726
OPEN SESAME.
319
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,565
UH, DO YOU LIKE ALLIGATORS?
320
00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:28,538
- I HATE 'EM.
- OH, I DON'T LIKE 'EM EITHER.
321
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:30,841
THEY SKIN SO ROUGH.
322
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:35,379
THANK YOU. DON'T BE
TRYIN' TO TALK TO ME!
323
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:39,182
HE TRIED TO TALK TO ME.
HE TRYIN' TO TALK TO ME.
324
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,184
YOU SEE HIM?
325
00:18:41,253 --> 00:18:43,899
BETTER BE GLAD THIS AIN'T
NO LIQUOR 'CAUSE COME 12:00,
326
00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:45,923
I TURN INTO A WOLF.
327
00:18:47,492 --> 00:18:49,459
MUST BE A QUARTER TO 1:00.
328
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,045
YOU SO CRAZY! HE'S
SO CRAZY. THAT'S...
329
00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,870
I LIKED AT YOU WHEN
I FIRST "SEENED" YOU.
330
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,916
YOU MY TYPE. YOU CRAZY.
331
00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,173
LOOK, UH, I GOTTA GO
GET SOME CHAPSTICK, MAN.
332
00:19:04,242 --> 00:19:08,078
OH, NO. THAT'S OKAY.
UH-UH. I GOT SOME VASELINE.
333
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:12,416
YOU GOTTA... YOU GOTTA WORK
AROUND THE SIDES AND STUFF.
334
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,851
LOOK, I... I GOTTA GO GET
SOME CIGARETTES, Y'ALL.
335
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,898
I GOTTA GO GET SOME
CIGARETTES. OH, THAT'S OKAY.
336
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:19,200
I GOT CIGARETTES TOO. YOU
AIN'T GOT TO GO NOWHERE.
337
00:19:19,224 --> 00:19:21,625
UH, GOTTA GET SOME
MATCHES. OH, YOU SO SILLY.
338
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:24,539
YOU KNOW IF I GOT
CIGARETTES, I GOT MATCHES.
339
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,030
UH, I NEED GAS FOR MY
CAR. WHAT YOU NEED?
340
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:29,299
UNLEADED OR SUPREME?
341
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:33,281
YOU AIN'T GOT TO GO
NOWHERE. I GOT YOU.
342
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:36,105
I HAVE YOU. YOU MINE.
343
00:19:38,043 --> 00:19:40,043
HEY.
344
00:19:43,048 --> 00:19:45,015
WORD UP.
345
00:19:52,657 --> 00:19:55,191
HEY! IT'S GETTIN' KIND OF
UGLY... UH, IT'S GETTIN' LATE.
346
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:58,729
- UH, SO, CARL. MAN, I GOTTA GET OUT...
- THE NIGHT'S JUST STARTIN'.
347
00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:01,598
HEY, MAN, YOU IN
MY ASS! HEY, MAN...
348
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:03,667
WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?
349
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:08,505
IS YOUR FRIEND ON CRACK?
350
00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,009
NO, HE'S BEEN DIETING, YOU KNOW.
351
00:20:27,425 --> 00:20:30,527
I'M READY TO GO.
352
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,231
LOOK, WANDA, WE'LL LEAVE
IN A FEW MINUTES, ALL RIGHT?
353
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:37,233
I SAID, I AM READY TO GO.
354
00:20:37,302 --> 00:20:39,948
I'M GONNA CALL YOU A CAB.
YOU AIN'T GOT TO CALL ME NO CAB.
355
00:20:39,972 --> 00:20:42,473
WE CAME TOGETHER, WE'LL LEAVE
TOGETHER. WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?
356
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,019
SEE, Y-YOU TRYIN' TO TRICK SOMEBODY.
YOU TRYIN' TO TRICK SOMEBODY.
357
00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:47,510
BUT I KNOW ALL Y'ALL
WANNA DO IS GET HER STUFF.
358
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:50,225
WANDA... WAIT, WAIT. YOU
DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME.
359
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,382
LOOK, I AIN'T GOT TO
KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT YOU!
360
00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:56,386
OKAY? I AIN'T GOT TO
KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT YOU.
361
00:20:56,455 --> 00:20:58,922
ALL RIGHT? DO I HAVE TO
KNOW SOMETHIN' ABOUT YOU?
362
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,724
- NO, MA'AM.
- LET'S GO, GIRL. LET'S GO.
363
00:21:01,793 --> 00:21:04,427
UM, YOU SEE HER... GIRL,
HE AIN'T NO GOOD. LET'S GO.
364
00:21:04,496 --> 00:21:07,764
I'M SORRY. GIRL, HE AIN'T
NO GOOD. LET'S JUST GO.
365
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,637
HERE MY NUMBER. CALL ME.
366
00:21:14,706 --> 00:21:16,740
I'LL ROCK YOUR WORLD.
367
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:25,227
I THINK IT WAS, UM,
ANDY WARHOL THAT SAID,
368
00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:27,184
"EVERYONE GETS
15 MINUTES OF FAME."
369
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:29,231
SO, I'M ABOUT TO GIVE
SOMEBODY 15 SECONDS...
370
00:21:29,255 --> 00:21:31,299
IT WAS 15 SECONDS
RIGHT? YEAH, 15. WAIT...
371
00:21:31,323 --> 00:21:33,301
FIFTEEN MINUTES.
FIFTEEN MINUTES.
372
00:21:33,325 --> 00:21:35,926
FIFTEEN MINUTES? WELL, I'M
GIVING SOMEBODY 15 SECONDS.
373
00:21:35,994 --> 00:21:39,329
ANGIE... IT'S YOUR
15. SAY GOOD NIGHT.
374
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,798
THANKS FOR JOINING US,
EVERYBODY. GOOD NIGHT.
28873
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