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1
00:00:01,968 --> 00:00:02,968
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
2
00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:04,180
HOW YOU LIVIN'? WHAT?
3
00:00:04,204 --> 00:00:06,338
HOW YOU LIVIN'? ♪
IN LIVING COLOR ♪
4
00:00:07,974 --> 00:00:12,511
♪ YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU
WANNA DO ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
5
00:00:12,579 --> 00:00:16,615
♪ ANYTHING YOU WANT IS UP
TO YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
6
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:19,984
♪ YOU FOR ME AND ME FOR
YOU ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
7
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:25,257
♪ YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU
WANNA BE ♪ ♪ IN LIVING COLOR ♪
8
00:00:25,325 --> 00:00:27,326
♪ LET'S TAKE A TRIP
AND SIP ON A DREAM ♪
9
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,560
♪ GLIDE WITH THE GUIDE
ON A FUNKY SCENE ♪
10
00:00:29,629 --> 00:00:32,141
♪ HERE COMES ANOTHER ONE OF
THOSE FUNKY, FUNNY MO' MONEY SHOWS ♪
11
00:00:32,165 --> 00:00:33,744
♪ A CAST FOR LAUGHS
AND TALENTED ROLES ♪
12
00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,945
♪ AND SISTERS WITH TWISTERS
FOR YOU BEEN LOOKIN' LISTENER ♪
13
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,980
♪ IT SEEMS YOU DON'T BELIEVE SO
YOU CAN BELIEVE WHAT I CONVINCE YA ♪
14
00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:40,083
♪ SOME BOOTY TO YOUR SHORT
AND THOUGHT WE'LL MAKE IT SNAPPY ♪
15
00:00:40,107 --> 00:00:42,474
♪ WITH JOKES AND POKES AT
FOLKS TO KEEP YOU HAPPY ♪
16
00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,476
♪ NO NEED TO HOLD
YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ♪
17
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,511
♪ CHILL THIS SHOW'S GOT SOUL ♪
18
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,814
♪ ALL ABOARD, ALL ABOARD
THE TRAIN NEVER TROUBLES ♪
19
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,293
♪ YOU'D BETTER
SNUGGLE UP COUPLE UP ♪
20
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,016
♪ ON THE DOUBLE-DUB-DOUBLE ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
21
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:55,320
♪ IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE BUT SOME
OF THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE ARE FREE ♪
22
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,467
♪ SO, FELLAS, GRAB YOUR GIRL
TELL HER THAT YOU LOVE HER ♪
23
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:59,902
♪ 'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU'RE LIVIN'
WHEN YOU'RE LIVIN' IN LIVING COLOR ♪
24
00:00:59,926 --> 00:01:03,261
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
25
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:09,167
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
26
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:13,671
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO
GO, GO, GO, GO ♪
27
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,973
♪ GO, GO, GO ♪
28
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,242
♪ GO, GO, GO, GO ♪♪
29
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,081
TWENTIETH-CENTURY
FOX PRESENTS...
30
00:01:23,150 --> 00:01:26,384
48 HOURS AGAIN
STARRING OSWALD BATES.
31
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,853
I WANNA TALK TO YOU, BATES.
32
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,390
DON'T YOU KNOCK BEFORE
"ENAMATIZIN'" A ROOM?
33
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,892
JUST SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
34
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:37,896
ONE OF YOUR EX-BUDDIES, BILLY
BEAR, JUST BUSTED OUT OF PRISON,
35
00:01:37,965 --> 00:01:40,899
AND YOU'RE GONNA
HELP ME FIND HIM.
36
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,168
YOU GOT NO CHOICE, CONVICT.
37
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:46,871
YOU CANNOT EXPECTORATE
ME TO DIGEST MY SECRETIONS.
38
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,874
KISS MY BEEHIVE.
39
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:51,376
LOOK, BATES,
40
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,214
HELP ME FIND HIM, I'LL GIVE YA
ANYTHING YOU WANT... ANYTHING!
41
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:58,116
JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!
42
00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,419
I NEED TO ASSIST MY
PENAL IMPLANTER...
43
00:02:01,488 --> 00:02:03,533
AND LACTIFY MY ORAL EMBANKMENT.
44
00:02:03,557 --> 00:02:05,324
IN OTHER WORDS...
45
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,058
I NEED A DICTIONARY.
46
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,127
YOU GOT IT, BATES.
47
00:02:13,700 --> 00:02:16,234
♪♪
48
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:20,538
EVER BEEN IN A
COUNTRY BAR, BATES?
49
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:23,541
THESE GOOD OL' BOYS
ARE GONNA LOVE YOU.
50
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,544
I CAN FONDLE MY OWN PIECE COOL.
51
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,546
THINK SO, CONVICT?
52
00:02:28,615 --> 00:02:30,593
I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT.
53
00:02:30,617 --> 00:02:34,252
HELL, I'M EVEN GONNA
GIVE YOU A BADGE.
54
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:42,561
YOUR SILICONIC GYRATIONS
GOT MY DELICATESSEN OPEN.
55
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:47,332
BITCH.
56
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:51,269
HOWDY. DOODY.
57
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:54,784
WANT DO YOU WANT TO
DRINK? A BLACK RUSSIAN?
58
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:03,581
HOW'D YOU LIKE ME TO SUPPOSITORILY
TENDERIZE YOUR POSTERIOR?
59
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,617
NOT TO MENTION YOUR "PUSTERIOR."
60
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,921
- WHERE'S BOO-BOO BEAR?
- WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
61
00:03:08,989 --> 00:03:12,257
RELATE THE "DEFINICIOUS"
LOCALITY OF BOO-BOO BEAR,
62
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,626
OR ELSE BE "CIRCUMVISED."
63
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,362
I DON'T HAVE TO
TELL YOU NOTHIN'.
64
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:20,832
ON THE CONTRAIRE,
MY REDNECK ECLAIR.
65
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:24,536
I'VE BEEN "PIGMATIZED."
MY COLON CARD.
66
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,539
OKAY, YOU'RE A COP.
67
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,275
BUT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.
68
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,344
WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A
FAILURE TO "EJACUBATE."
69
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:36,348
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN',
BUT I'M GONNA KICK YOUR BUTT.
70
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:39,084
GO, AHEAD. MAKE MY "GOOMBAG."
71
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:47,525
LISTEN UP, "AU-REVOIR-CKERS."
72
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:53,197
I'M ABOUT TO FORNICATE
YOUR INNERMOST OVULATIONS.
73
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,567
WE DON'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
74
00:03:55,635 --> 00:03:58,269
REGURGITATE, OR BE TURTLE-WAX.
75
00:04:00,340 --> 00:04:02,207
LOOK,
76
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:05,210
IF SOMEBODY DOESN'T
TELL HIM WHERE HE IS,
77
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:08,713
NOT ONLY IS MY THROAT
GONNA GET SORE,
78
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:12,484
BUT HE'S GONNA BE TALKIN'
LIKE THIS ALL NIGHT LONG.
79
00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:14,486
PLEASE, NOT THAT. OKAY?
80
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:17,455
BILLY BEAR LIVES NEXT DOOR.
SECOND-FLOOR APARTMENT.
81
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,726
A'IGHT, COLONEL SANDERS.
82
00:04:21,795 --> 00:04:24,997
REMEMBER, THERE'S A
NEW "DOO-SHAY" IN TOWN.
83
00:04:28,535 --> 00:04:30,468
48 HOURS AGAIN,
84
00:04:30,537 --> 00:04:33,005
COMING SOON TO A
THEATER NEAR YOU.
85
00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,809
HE WAS A PEACE OFFICER,
86
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,311
BUT HE WANTED MORE THAN
JUST PEACE ON THE STREETS...
87
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:42,313
HE WANTED PEACE
IN HIS ETERNAL SOUL.
88
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,878
ARMED WITH ONLY A
GOLD BADGE AND THOSE
89
00:04:43,902 --> 00:04:45,742
STRIPES OF GOLD PAINT
DOWN HIS NOSE, HE WAS...
90
00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:53,291
HE WAS THE TOUGHEST COP
TO EVER HIT THE STREETS,
91
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:57,863
WHETHER HE WAS WALKING A BEAT OR
BANGING ONE OUT ON HIS TAMBOURINE.
92
00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,201
BUT ONE DAY THE
TAMBOURINE STOPPED BEATING.
93
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,203
PARTNER! NO!
94
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,839
OH, MY GOD! NO!
95
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,919
WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?
96
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:12,610
WHY DID IT HAVE
TO BE RAJNISATTVA?
97
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,980
HEY, JAKE. DID YOU GET HIM?
98
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:18,027
GO AHEAD, KID. RUN ALONG
AND PLAY. GET OUTTA HERE.
99
00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:21,520
MAYBE LATER, JAKE. BUT NOW WE
HAVE TO CATCH THE GUY WHO SHOT ME.
100
00:05:21,588 --> 00:05:24,155
IS THAT YOU? RAJNISATTVA?
101
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,324
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
102
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,459
IT IS YOU, LITTLE BUDDY!
103
00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,429
AND, OH, YEAH, MY NAME'S
TIMMY NOW. OFFICER TIMMY.
104
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:33,498
OKAY. LET'S GO, OFFICER TIMMY.
105
00:05:33,566 --> 00:05:35,967
- HEY! FREEZE!
- KRISHNA COP.
106
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,969
DESTINED TO BE REINCARNATED
AGAIN AND AGAIN...
107
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:41,306
UNTIL THE CITY STREETS ARE FINALLY
SAFE FOR PEACE-LOVING CITIZENS.
108
00:05:41,375 --> 00:05:43,374
FREEZE!
109
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:46,211
HE'S GOT MORE SOUL
THAN JAMES BROWN...
110
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,213
AND MORE LIVES THAN
SHIRLEY MacLAINE.
111
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:50,047
OY!
112
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:53,051
THEY SAY A CAT HAS NINE LIVES.
113
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,956
WELL, THAT'S A SLOW
DAY FOR KRISHNA COP!
114
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,330
KIDS, SOUNDS LIKE DAD'S HOME.
115
00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,377
YEA! YEA!
116
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:11,681
HOME FROM A LONG DAY OF
HOSTING A POPULAR GAME SHOW,
117
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,373
IT'S PROFESSIONAL QUIZMASTER
AND HOST OF THIS HOUSEHOLD,
118
00:06:15,442 --> 00:06:18,175
BILL BENSON!
119
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:21,746
♪♪
120
00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:28,153
THANK YOU, AND GOOD EVENING.
121
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:32,490
NOW LET'S SAY HELLO TO MY
COHOST FOR THE LAST 15 YEARS.
122
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,960
SHE'S A HOMEMAKER AND A
MOTHER OF TWO... MY WIFE JANET.
123
00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,196
HI, BILL!
124
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:44,335
JANET, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US
WHAT'S IN TONIGHT'S DINNER SHOWCASE?
125
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:47,338
TONIGHT'S DINNER PRIZE
PACKAGE INCLUDES...
126
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,342
AN EVENING'S SUPPLY OF
RICE-A-RONI, THE SAN FRANCISCO TREAT.
127
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,178
AND FOR DESSERT WE'LL BE
HAVING CERTS WITH RETSYN.
128
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:57,082
THAT'S CERTS. IT'S LIKE
TWO... TWO... TWO MINTS IN ONE.
129
00:06:57,151 --> 00:06:58,950
YUMMY!
130
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,899
NOW LET'S MEET OUR TWO CHILDREN.
131
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:04,589
CONCEIVED IN THE BACK
SEAT OF A '62 FORD...
132
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:07,592
AND THE REASON HER MOTHER
AND FATHER "HAD TO" GET MARRIED,
133
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,494
OH, BILL!
134
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,496
OUR DAUGHTER, AGE
15, JENNY BENSON!
135
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:15,266
COME ON DOWN!
136
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,269
GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK
IN THE LIVING ROOM, JEN.
137
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,772
ALL RIGHT, NOW, OUR
NEXT CONTESTANT,
138
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,574
HE DOESN'T LIKE
SPORTS... OR SO HE SAYS.
139
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:27,812
BUT HIS MOTHER AND I BOTH KNOW HE'S TOO
EMBARRASSED ABOUT HIS LACK OF ENDOWMENT...
140
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,381
TO SHOWER WITH THE OTHER BOYS.
141
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,418
OUR SON, AGE 13, CHRIS BENSON!
142
00:07:33,486 --> 00:07:35,420
COME ON DOWN!
143
00:07:38,325 --> 00:07:40,303
OKAY, KIDS, YOU KNOW THE RULES.
144
00:07:40,327 --> 00:07:42,828
NOW LET'S GET RIGHT TO THE GAME.
145
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:48,900
NOW, OUR FIRST ITEM...
146
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,503
IS A HANDSOME
CERAMIC TABLE LAMP.
147
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,504
JANET?
148
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,507
HANDCRAFTED IN MEXICO,
149
00:07:55,575 --> 00:07:58,510
BUT DESTROYED BY A TENNIS BALL
HERE IN THE BENSON LIVING ROOM.
150
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,512
ONCE VALUED AT $250,
151
00:08:00,580 --> 00:08:03,882
IT'S NOW COMPLETELY WORTHLESS.
152
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:07,318
OKAY, CONTESTANTS, WHO
BROKE THE DAMN LAMP?
153
00:08:07,387 --> 00:08:09,888
♪♪
154
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:15,226
REMEMBER, NO ONE
EATS UNTIL THEY SPEAK UP.
155
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,629
JENNY! IT WAS CHRIS! HE DID IT!
156
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:20,865
CHRIS, I'M SORRY. I GUESS
THAT MAKES YOU OUR BIG LOSER.
157
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,812
YOU'LL BE HEADING UPSTAIRS
TO BED WITHOUT ANY DINNER.
158
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:26,315
BUT THANK YOU FOR
PLAYING WITH US THIS EVENING.
159
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,773
THANKS! I REALLY
HAD A GOOD TIME!
160
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:31,082
ALL RIGHTY, THEN.
161
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:34,980
- AND JENNY, YOU'LL ALSO
BE GOING UPSTAIRS.
- BUT WHY?
162
00:08:35,048 --> 00:08:38,049
BECAUSE THE
PASSWORD IS "SNITCH"!
163
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:41,152
BUT WE HAVE SOME LOVELY
PARTING GIFTS FOR YOU.
164
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:45,122
JENNY, YOU'LL BE RECEIVING A MONTH'S
SUPPLY OF BIRTH CONTROL PILLS...
165
00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:49,460
AS WELL AS THE UPSTAIRS
VERSION OF OUR HOME GAME!
166
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:51,963
THANKS! I REALLY
ENJOYED PLAYING THE GAME!
167
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:55,392
WELL, THAT'S ALL THAT
MATTERS, JENNY. NOW BEAT IT!
168
00:08:56,303 --> 00:08:58,236
BYE-BYE.
169
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,738
OH, JANET, YOU KNOW
WHAT I'D LIKE TO DO...
170
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:03,719
WHILE THE KIDS ARE UPSTAIRS IN
THEIR SOUNDPROOF BEDROOMS?
171
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,676
HMM.
172
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:07,678
I'M GONNA SAY...
173
00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:09,681
MAKE WHOOPEE?
174
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:12,962
SHE SAID, "MAKE WHOOPEE." I SAID,
"FALL ASLEEP WATCHING THE BALL GAME."
175
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:16,221
OH, BILL! YOU NEVER
WANNA DO IT ANYMORE!
176
00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:20,158
LOOK WHO'S TALKING. YOU'RE
AS COLD AS OUR FRIGIDAIRE!
177
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,494
AND WITH TWICE
THE STORAGE SPACE!
178
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:29,467
WATCH IT, BILL. I THINK OUR MARRIAGE
MIGHT BE IN SERIOUS JEOPARDY!
179
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:33,004
THEN I'LL TAKE "MISTRESSES
WITH LARGE BREASTS" FOR 200.
180
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,509
YOU'VE JUST HIT
THE DAILY DOUBLE.
181
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:41,913
IF YOU ANSWER CORRECTLY, I COULD
WIN A DIVORCE AND HALF YOUR BELONGINGS.
182
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,915
HERE'S THE ANSWER:
183
00:09:43,984 --> 00:09:47,919
BILL, SHE'S BEEN YOUR LUNCH
BREAK FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
184
00:09:47,988 --> 00:09:50,989
♪♪
185
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,826
WHO IS MY SECRETARY?
186
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,873
SOUNDS LIKE I'M CORRECT!
187
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:01,332
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU
ROTTEN BASTARD! JUDGES?
188
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:04,380
SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE
GOING TO ALLOW THAT.
189
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:06,649
AND HOW'S SHE
GONNA KILL ME TODAY?
190
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:09,039
SHE'S GONNA DO IT IN
STYLE WITH A DISTINCTIVE
191
00:10:09,063 --> 00:10:10,975
SET OF FINE CHINA
FROM ROYAL DALTON.
192
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:14,023
ROYAL DALTON ADDS A TOUCH OF
ELEGANCE TO ANY VICIOUS ATTACK.
193
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,980
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL, BILL.
194
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:20,484
I'LL ALSO BE PUMMELING YOU WITH POTS
AND PANS FROM EKCO NON-STICK WEAR.
195
00:10:20,553 --> 00:10:24,022
EKCO. EVEN THE MESSIEST
BLOOD WON'T STICK TO IT.
196
00:10:24,090 --> 00:10:26,524
KIDS!
197
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,572
AND I SUPPOSE YOU'LL
BE TAKING THE CHILDREN...
198
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:32,396
ON AN ALL-EXPENSE-PAID
VACATION TO YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE.
199
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,399
THAT'S RIGHT, BILL.
200
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,401
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.
201
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:41,606
WE'LL BE LEAVING YOU
IN YOUR BRAND-NEW CAR!
202
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,844
WELL, THAT'S IT
FOR TODAY'S GAME.
203
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:49,213
TUNE IN TOMORROW WHEN I'LL
PLAY WITH NUBILE YOUNG COEDS...
204
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,683
ON THE REBOUND GAME.
205
00:10:51,752 --> 00:10:54,052
♪♪
206
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:02,893
OTHER EPISODE OF
THE HEAD DETECTIVE.
207
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,364
I'M TELLING YOU, PARTNER,
208
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:09,367
I NEVER THOUGHT THIS HARD-BOILED
HEAD WOULD EVER GO SOFT FOR A DAME.
209
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:13,304
BUT THIS BLONDE-HAIRED, GREEN-NOSED
HOT POTATO KNOCKED ME FOR A LOOP.
210
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,372
JUST LOOK.
211
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,043
HEY. WHAT'S HER NAME?
212
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,012
CANDY.
213
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,014
CANDY YAM.
214
00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,683
WHOA! LOOK AT THOSE TATERS.
215
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,685
SOUNDS LIKE
YOU'RE IN LOVE, HEAD.
216
00:11:27,754 --> 00:11:31,055
LOVE'S NOT THE WORD, PARTNER. I'M
CRAZY, HEAD-OVER-HEELS ABOUT HER.
217
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:34,058
I CAN'T WAIT. I'M TAKING
HER TO THE BEACH TODAY.
218
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,061
CAR 63, WE HAVE A
ROBBERY IN PROGRESS...
219
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,063
AT FIRST STATE BANK,
FOURTH AND MAIN.
220
00:11:39,132 --> 00:11:43,267
THAT'S AFFIRMATIVE. ALL RIGHT,
HEAD, TIME TO GO TO WORK. LET'S ROLL.
221
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,980
SORRY ABOUT THAT.
222
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,517
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY
FREEZE! POLICE!
223
00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:03,921
YOU FOLKS CAN RELAX.
224
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:07,392
- WHICH WAY DID THEY GO?
- I DON'T KNOW. THEY GOT AWAY.
225
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:11,095
DAMN! THAT'S THE
FIFTH TIME THIS WEEK.
226
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,097
WELL, LET'S GET TO WORK.
227
00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:17,335
OH, MAN, WITH ALL THE QUESTIONS AND
PAPERWORK, THERE GOES MY DATE TONIGHT.
228
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:21,605
ALL RIGHT, HEAD. I'LL
WRAP IT UP AROUND HERE.
229
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:23,341
YOU GO ON. REALLY?
230
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:25,121
YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME, PARTNER?
231
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:26,989
GET OUTTA HERE, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD.
232
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,947
- THANKS, PARTNER!
- HAVE FUN!
233
00:12:33,453 --> 00:12:35,413
I HAVE TO TELL YOU, HONEY,
234
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,433
I'M REALLY POTATO-WHIPPED.
235
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,390
MM-HMM! WANNA NECK?
236
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:42,460
THAT'S THE SAME THING
MY DOCTOR ASKED ME.
237
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,032
HEY! I'M GETTIN' WET!
238
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,579
ALL RIGHT. YOU POSITIVE
IT WAS A WOMAN? YES, YES.
239
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:54,738
OKAY, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO
DESCRIBE HER, IF YOU CAN. ALL RIGHT.
240
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:59,009
SHE WAS VERY SHORT...
ABOUT FIVE INCHES.
241
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:01,512
FIVE INCHES? MM-HMM.
242
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:06,650
UH, SHE HAD A KIND OF A
PEAR-SHAPED FACE AND NO LEGS.
243
00:13:06,719 --> 00:13:09,420
SHE HAD NICE FEET,
THOUGH. OKAY, NICE FEET.
244
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,423
UM, SHE HAD RED
HAIR AND A BLUE NOSE.
245
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:17,362
HER EARS WERE ROUND, AND THEY
KIND OF JUTTED OUT TO THE SIDE.
246
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:20,364
AND SHE ALWAYS
SEEMED TO BE SMILING.
247
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:24,235
MMM. OKAY. TAKE A LOOK AT
THIS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
248
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:26,237
THAT'S HER.
249
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,240
THIS WOMAN HAS ROBBED
FIVE BANKS IN THE PAST WEEK.
250
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,742
WE CAN'T SEEM TO TRACK HER DOWN.
251
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,980
HEY. WAIT A MINUTE.
252
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,650
COME ON.
253
00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:42,787
HMM. NOW, IF I
WERE TO DO THIS...
254
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:45,756
UH-HUH.
255
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,593
AND MAKE THAT BLUE
NOSE A GREEN ONE...
256
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:53,931
OH, MY GOD. I'VE
GOT TO WARN HEAD.
257
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,535
CALL THE POLICE. TELL 'EM TO
MEET ME AT THE BEACH DISTRICT.
258
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:05,810
I JUST HAVE TO GO POWDER
MY NOSE AND PUT ON MY FACE.
259
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,678
SEE YA IN A SECOND.
260
00:14:07,746 --> 00:14:10,081
OKAY, CUTIE PIE.
I'LL BE RIGHT HERE.
261
00:14:15,622 --> 00:14:19,891
HEAD. HEAD. THANK GOD I FOUND YOU.
I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU.
262
00:14:19,959 --> 00:14:21,893
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
263
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:23,921
I GOT SOME BAD NEWS, HEAD.
264
00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:25,963
OUR BANK ROBBER...
265
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,300
IT'S CANDY.
266
00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:31,302
OH, GOD!
267
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,638
I'M SORRY, PAL.
268
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:36,185
I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO
BREAK IT TO YOU LIKE THIS.
269
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,143
OKAY, THIS IS A STICK-UP! CANDY!
270
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,024
WELL, PAL, I GUESS IT'S TIME
FOR US TO PEEL THAT POTATO.
271
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,648
COME ON!
272
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,585
HURRY IT UP, BEFORE
I LOSE MY STUFFIN'!
273
00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:49,614
ALL RIGHT, POLICE! FREEZE!
274
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,723
PUT THE GUN DOWN, MRS. YAM.
THOSE GORGEOUS EYES DON'T FAZE ME.
275
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:57,061
NO, DON'T SHOOT, MAN.
CANDY, LET ME TALK TO YA.
276
00:14:57,130 --> 00:15:00,565
OKAY, YOU CAN COME, HEAD.
277
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:04,034
BUT THE COPPER WITH
THE GUN STAYS PUT!
278
00:15:04,103 --> 00:15:07,063
YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
DOING, PARTNER? TRUST ME, MAN.
279
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,852
THIS POTATO SEEMS LIKE SHE
GOT A CHIP ON HER SHOULDER.
280
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,708
SET ME DOWN NICE AND EASY.
281
00:15:11,777 --> 00:15:15,012
YOU HEARD ME. BACK OFF, COPPER!
282
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,182
- OH, CANDY. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?
- I TRIED.
283
00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:23,053
BUT EVERY TIME I OPENED MY
MOUTH IT JUST CAME OUT HALF-BAKED.
284
00:15:23,122 --> 00:15:28,693
GEE, I ALWAYS DREAMED OF THE TWO OF US IN
A LITTLE HOUSE WITH A WHITE PICKET FENCE,
285
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:32,162
MAYBE A COUPLE OF TATER
TOTS RUNNING AROUND.
286
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:37,168
YOU GOT UNDER MY SKIN. THAT'S
MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE EVER DID.
287
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,170
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF,
288
00:15:39,238 --> 00:15:41,205
YOU BIG LUNKHEAD.
289
00:15:41,273 --> 00:15:43,841
CANDY, STOP. CANDY... NO!
290
00:15:43,910 --> 00:15:45,943
AAAH!
291
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,186
I LOVED HER, MAN.
292
00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:58,188
I REALLY LOVED HER.
293
00:15:58,257 --> 00:16:00,190
AW, FORGET IT, HEAD.
294
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,125
THIS IS BURGERTOWN.
295
00:16:02,194 --> 00:16:05,663
NOT HER EYES...
YOU'RE EATING HER EYES.
296
00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:13,937
THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER
EPISODE OF THE HEAD DETECTIVE.
297
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:20,578
THIS YOUNG LADY WAS THE FIRST
ARTIST TO PERFORM ON IN LIVING COLOR,
298
00:16:20,646 --> 00:16:22,580
AND WE'RE DELIGHTED
TO HAVE HER BACK.
299
00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:26,017
YOU CAN CURRENTLY CATCH HER ACT
AS ONE OF THE STARS OF HOUSE PARTY 2.
300
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:28,953
PLEASE WELCOME TOMMY BOY
RECORDING ARTIST QUEEN LATIFAH.
301
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,458
♪ 1991 ♪
302
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,827
♪ WHOSE POSSE'S
ON THE BOULEVARD ♪
303
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:39,896
♪ LET'S SEE WHAT QUEEN LATIFAH
DONE HAD ♪ ♪ THE QUEEN IS HYPED UP ♪
304
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,434
- ♪ HO ♪
-
305
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,168
♪ YO, YO, YO, YO ♪
306
00:16:45,237 --> 00:16:47,805
♪ WELL, IT'S L-A
THE T-I, THE F-A-H ♪
307
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:50,485
♪ YOU'LL SEE WHY Q-U-DOUBLE-E-N
IS THE REASON I MUST BE MYSELF ♪
308
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,576
♪ WHAT ELSE WELL,
FAME HASN'T GOT ME ♪
309
00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,845
♪ SOUPED UP, SELLIN'
OUT SLOPPY OR WHAT ♪
310
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,258
♪ THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR ♪
311
00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,293
♪ THEREFORE HERE'S MORE
FROM A WOMAN ALL WOMAN ♪
312
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,995
♪ KEEP YOUR RUMORS TO YOURSELF ♪
313
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,086
♪ THE OVERBLOWN
HOMEGROWN, NOT KNOWN ♪
314
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:05,389
♪ FOOLS WHO NEVER SHOW PROOF
LET ALONE OWN A LOT OF PROPS ♪
315
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:07,758
♪ SO I HIP-HOP WATCH A
NOTCH ON YOUR CLOCK ♪
316
00:17:07,826 --> 00:17:10,172
♪ THAT'S MY SWAT NOW,
WHO GOT THE WATCH I DO ♪
317
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,597
- ♪ - WHY, YOU LITTLE PLAYED OUT...
- AH-CHOO ♪ BLESS YOU!
318
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,276
♪ I'M ALLERGIC TO WACK CREWS ♪
319
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,667
♪ THE LA, THE TI, THE
FAH THE QUEEN IS UP ♪
320
00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,081
♪ THROWIN' SALT LIKE
YOU NEVER SEEN BEFORE ♪
321
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,183
♪ HOW DARE THOSE WHO
TALK WE CAN'T HAVE THEM ♪
322
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:23,907
♪ SOME MAKE ME WANNA GO
OUT WITH A BAT AND A MAGNUM ♪
323
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,954
♪ BUT I'M WISE, CIVILIZED
AND GROWIN' HIGHER ♪
324
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,345
♪ JUDGMENT FROM THE QUEEN
PUNISHMENT IS THE FIRE ♪
325
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,774
♪ I'M HERE TO MAKE THESE
FOOLS OUT AS LIARS ♪
326
00:17:30,816 --> 00:17:33,551
♪ LEARN THE STEP AND
RESPECT THE SIRE FACE THE FIRE ♪
327
00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,153
♪ LATIFAH'S HAD IT UP TO HERE
THE FRAUDS ARE FEELING FEAR ♪
328
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,622
♪ THE SOUND IS PLAYIN' LIKE
A Q-TIP DIGGIN' IN YOUR EAR ♪
329
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,936
♪ MAMA ZULU STANDS FOR
POSITIVITY KNOWLEDGE AND GRACE ♪
330
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,238
♪ I NEVER RUN MY PIECE BUT,
DAMN, I'LL TAKE IT TO YOUR FACE ♪
331
00:17:43,262 --> 00:17:45,708
♪ HOPIN' WHAT YOU'RE HOPIN' NOW
INSTEAD OF STUTTERIN' MAYBE CHOKE ♪
332
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,909
♪ IT'S VERY HARD TO
BREATHE I GOT YOU IN A YOKE ♪
333
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,668
♪ WHAT YOU DOIN' CUT IT SHORT
NO ONE'S EVER GETTIN' NEAR ♪
334
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,471
♪ LATIFAH'S HAD IT UP TO
HERE GIVE IT TO 'EM, COME ON ♪
335
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:55,650
♪ THE QUEEN IS HYPED UP
♪ ♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
336
00:17:55,674 --> 00:17:57,975
♪ I GOT IT ♪ ♪ GIVE
IT TO 'EM QUEEN ♪
337
00:17:58,044 --> 00:18:00,378
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
338
00:18:00,446 --> 00:18:02,190
♪ I GOT IT ♪ ♪ GIVE
IT TO 'EM QUEEN ♪
339
00:18:02,214 --> 00:18:05,149
♪ YEAH, YEAH ♪
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
340
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,585
♪ I GOT IT ♪ ♪ GIVE
IT TO 'EM QUEEN ♪
341
00:18:07,654 --> 00:18:08,952
♪ WHO AM I ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
342
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,021
♪ THE QUEEN
L-A-T-I-F-A-H IN COMMAND ♪
343
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,068
♪ SOME OF THESE
COMMERCIAL ENTERTAINERS ♪
344
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,270
♪ ARE COMMERCIALLY A PAIN
TO MY MIND AND MY BEHIND ♪
345
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:17,339
♪ TRYIN' TO DIS DANA
BUMPIN' ME OFF ♪
346
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,341
♪ 'CAUSE THE QUEEN HAS NOW
REACHED A CERTAIN PLATEAU ♪
347
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,325
♪ ALL I DO IS BOO
AND SAY "IS THAT SO" ♪
348
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,601
♪ TALK IS CHEAP AND IF
TALK GOT ANY CHEAPER ♪
349
00:18:23,669 --> 00:18:25,903
♪ THEY'D BE SELLIN' NIKE
TONGUES INSTEAD OF SNEAKERS ♪
350
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:28,772
♪ QUE SERA SERA
BLASÉ BLAH, ETCETERA ♪
351
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:30,875
♪ THIS IS A SCENE
FROM THE QUEEN LA ♪
352
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,311
♪ LOVELY AND LYRICALLY
LOOSE BUT LADYLIKE ♪
353
00:18:33,379 --> 00:18:35,457
♪ I'M TOO SLICK TO SLIP OR GET
TRIPPED UP BY THE SHADY TYPE ♪
354
00:18:35,481 --> 00:18:38,026
♪ CHUMPS SHALL TALK THEY
STILL WONDER HOW LOOSE I GOT ♪
355
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,296
♪ WHEN I'M IN TOWN I GIVE THE
ROOSTERS BOOSTER SHOTS ♪
356
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,497
♪ BREAKS, BREAKS, FACE, FACE
NEVER, NEVER, WASTE, WASTE ♪
357
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:45,100
♪ YOUR MIND ON A RHYME LET IT
GET THROWN IN YOUR FRONTIN' FACE ♪
358
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:48,059
♪ I PUNCH YOUR THOUGHT I CUT IT
SHORT NO ONE'S EVER GETTIN' NEAR ♪
359
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,094
♪ LATIFAH'S HAD IT UP TO HERE ♪
360
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,873
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
♪ YEAH ♪
361
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,397
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM
QUEEN ♪ ♪ LATIFAH ♪
362
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,634
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
♪ WHO GOT IT ♪
363
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,936
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM
QUEEN ♪ ♪ LATIFAH ♪
364
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:01,372
- ♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
- ♪ I GOT IT ♪
365
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,774
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM
QUEEN ♪ ♪ LATIFAH ♪
366
00:19:03,842 --> 00:19:06,444
- ♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
- ♪ HUH ♪
367
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,979
♪ THE QUEEN
L-A-T-I-F-A-H IN COMMAND ♪
368
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,581
♪ ROYAL, ROYAL YOU FACE
THE FIRE ♪ ♪ YOU BOIL ♪
369
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,085
♪ YOU NEVER GIVE THE TIME
OF DAY SO MAKE WAY, HEY ♪
370
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,254
♪ SILENCE, I SAY LAY LOW
AND HAVE A COLD ONE ♪
371
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:18,833
♪ 'CAUSE THE WHIPPIN'
I'M DISHIN' IS AN OLD ONE ♪
372
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:20,969
♪ I THREW SOME SOUL INTO MY
MORNING BOWL THEN I ROLLED ♪
373
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,539
♪ TOOK YOUR GOLD AND STOPPED YOUR
SINGLE 'CAUSE IT NEVER, EVER SOLD ♪
374
00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,840
♪ MATTER OF FACT IT NEVER
EVEN GOT THE TIME TO SPROUT ♪
375
00:19:25,864 --> 00:19:28,143
♪ SO YOU COULD GIVE ME
BODY OR COME IN MY HOUSE ♪
376
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,567
♪ THE FLAVA UNIT IS DOIN'
THEY'RE BACK AGAIN THIS YEAR ♪
377
00:19:30,636 --> 00:19:33,036
♪ HOW MANY FLAVORS OF THE
FLAVA CAN YOU LOVE TO HEAR ♪
378
00:19:33,106 --> 00:19:35,551
♪ FEEL THE FORCE OF MY
HOLOCAUST I'M STARIN' AT YA ♪
379
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,587
♪ PUT IN A BID ON WHO WILL FALL I'M
SURE TO MATCH OR SNATCH YOUR STATURE ♪
380
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,489
♪ TILL YOUR BROKEN BONE
LOOKS MORE LIKE A FRACTURE ♪
381
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,791
♪ CATCH THE RAPPER LATIFAH
WILL BE BACK TO CRUSH YA ♪
382
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,561
♪ GO BUY A HEART 'CAUSE I TOLD YOU
FROM THE START NO ONE GETTIN' NEAR ♪
383
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,995
♪ LATIFAH'S HAD IT UP TO HERE ♪
384
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,630
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM QUEEN
♪ ♪ WHO GOT IT ♪
385
00:19:48,654 --> 00:19:51,155
♪ GIVE IT TO 'EM, QUEEN ♪
♪ LATIFAH ♪♪
29898
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