All language subtitles for Drop Dead Diva (2009) - S06E01 - Truth & Consequences (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Celdra)_track3_[eng]

See that
aspiring model there?

That's me, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go
straight to heaven,

but there was
a bit of a mix-up,

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life,
a new wardrobe,

and the only people
who really know
what's going on with me

are my girlfriend, Stacy,

and my guardian angel, Paul.

I used to think everything
happened for a reason.

Whoo!

Well, I sure hope I was right.

♪ La, la-la, la-la-la-la

♪ La, lala, la

Previously on
Drop Dead Diva...

Oh, hi.

I thought you were
someone else.

It's me, the real Jane.

And I want my life back.

Owen, suppose
this gets serious
and then we break up.

I don't want my child
to be around parents
who don't get along.

So for the sake of the baby,

we need to break up.

I understand.

Elaine is dying.

I realize she's not
really my mom,
you know?

But...

Right now that
just doesn't matter.

Grayson.

Oh.

That's just great.

My mom dies,

and you don't even
have the decency
to let me know,

and then I find you
out here making out
with him.

I'm so sorry.

Jane, what's going on?

Why don't you tell him?

Tell me what?

Jane isn't really
who you think she is.

Who is she? Why don't you ask her?

Sweetie, it's 5:00 a.m.
Are you okay?

Yeah, just
rearranging
the kitchen.

You know, I've always
thought that the spatulas
were too far from the stove.

And did you know
that we have seven ladles?

Jane, I've watched
enough "Dr. Drew"

to know that
those ladles
are a distraction

from thinking
about your mom
passing away.

Do you want to talk?
I can make us some tea,

which we no longer
keep in that cupboard.

I'm devastated about Elaine,
but this isn't about Elaine.

This is about Grayson.

What?

We kissed. Really?

It was amazing.

But in the middle of the kiss,
Brittany shows up.

And who's Brittany? Old Jane.

She heard that her mom died
and completely unloaded on me

for not telling her
that Elaine was sick.

And then she tells Grayson

that I'm not
who he thinks I am.

Ladies, can you please
turn out the lights?

If I don't get
my eight hours,
I'm useless.

Paul, clearly in crisis mode.

Mmm, here.
Use my extra plush
eye pillow

keeps the light out,
minimizes crow's feet.

Mmm. Thank you.

Carry on.

So, what happened next?

Brittany took off,
and before I had a chance
to talk to Grayson,

he raced after her.

My God. It's like
my whole life was
leading up to this kiss.

You know?
And now I'm terrified

of what else Brittany
might have said.

Oh, sweetie.

You know what?
I just need
to find Grayson

convince him
that Brittany is crazy...
Yeah.

And that we are destined
to live happily ever after.

Well, you're really good
at convincing people
of things.

Remember when you
convinced me that
a Brazilian wax wouldn't hurt?

F.Y.I. you were wrong.

Yeah, well...

It was bikini season.
It had to be done.

Okay, so, I'm gonna take
a shower and head
to work early

so I'll already
be at the office
when Grayson gets in.

Jane.

Hey.

I'm really sorry
about your mother.

Thanks.

Why are you
in Grayson's office,

looking at a photo
of his dead girlfriend?

Um...

Oh, um...

Why... Why are you
here so early?

Well, it's kind of
hard to sleep when
I'm the managing partner

and Kim is still
on maternity leave.

Right. That... That being said,

if you need some time... Thanks.

I really appreciate that.

It actually kind of helps
to focus on work.

Sure. Your pro bono case. What?

You got an intake
this morning.

Make sure the client
fills out all the forms

so that the firm
gets credit with the bar.

Yes, I will.

Well, I should go, um...

Prep for that meeting.

I need your help, Ms. Bingum.

I got your name
from the legal aid
website.

Okay, so, you are
the lunch lady
at South Oak elementary,

and you're claiming
the school district
is not feeding hungry kids?

The superintendent raised
the eligibility criteria,

which cut 56 needy children
from the hot lunch program.

Well, that doesn't
seem right.

These kids live
below the poverty line.

When they come to me for food,
it breaks my heart to say no.

But if I feed them,
I'm in violation
of school policy.

Right.

Okay. So, what can I do?

I need you
to represent
these students.

There's a school
board meeting at 11:00.

11:00 today?

I thought the superintendent
would come to his senses.

I've written e-mails.
I've called his office.

But he's completely
ignored me.

Yeah, well, he won't
be able to ignore me.

Owen, I just put the
most handsome client
in your office.

I don't have anything
on the books.

He said he didn't
need an appointment

that Dudley Doright would
always make time for him?

Oh, no.Should I call security?

I could cuff him myself,
take him back to my place

for a house arrest
and a little light
feather play?

No. No, Teri.
Uh, it's fine.

Thank you.

Charlie,
what are you doing here?

Nice digs.

I really should have
become a lawyer.

Yeah, yeah, that was the plan
until you pocketed the deposit

that I gave you
for your tuition,

defaulted on the student loans
that I co-signed for,

and then partied
across the world
for a decade.

Hell of a ride.

Ran with the bulls
in Pamplona,

stomped grapes in Bordeaux,

climbed a glacier
in Iceland

and by glacier,
I mean a girl named Helga.

Seriously, you should have
joined me on this trip.

Why are you here?

Can't a guy visit
his older brother?

I haven't seen you
in 12 years.
Why are you here?

I need your help.
I'm being sued
by the Honey Pot.

It's a strip club
in the valley. You're unbelievable.

Well, I was in
the V.I.P. Room
getting a lap dance,

and the stripper
lifted my wallet.

They're suing me
for defamation.

I was so upset
about my wallet

that I posted
a bad review on
stripadvisor.com.

It's a website
that rates
gentlemen's clubs.

You're serious?

Yeah, I gave them zero stars
and warned other men
not to go to the Honey Pot

because their strippers
are thieves.

Well, if the club can prove
that your review is untrue

and caused economic losses,
then, yeah, you've got
yourself a real problem.

But my review is true.

I had my wallet in my jacket
pocket before the lap dance.

And when it was over,
it was gone.

You've only
been here two minutes.

You're already
giving me a headache.

Look...

Against my better judgment,

I will set up a meeting
with the club's lawyer

and try to settle this
as quickly as possible.

Thank you. One condition.

No one at this firm
can know you're my brother.

I'm very close
with my co-workers.

I was even engaged
to one of the partners.

And you didn't
even tell anyone
about me?

I wasn't sure
I'd ever see you
again, Charlie.

I get it.

Listen, I know
I've messed up in life,

and... I really
appreciate your help.

The superintendent's cutback
in the hot lunch program
is invalid,

as he failed to
comply with the sunshine law,

which requires transparency
in public proceedings.

I only adjusted
a pre-existing formula.

Thus, the sunshine law
does not apply.

Seriously? In front
of all these loving,
caring parents,

you expect the board
to agree with you on that?

Actually, we agree with
the superintendent's
analysis.

Has the board considered
the huge impact this change

will have on
the 56 students'
health and welfare,

which you are
legally required
to protect?

The policy change
was a tough call,

but our schools are besieged
with budget shortfalls.

If our children
aren't properly nourished,

how are they supposed
to concentrate in class?

And shouldn't that be
your number one concern?

Ms. Bingum,
your passion
is impressive.

Well, thank you.

I'm sorry,
but the board stands
behind the superintendent.

Uh, excuse me.

Didn't you just say
that I was impressive?

We're adjourned.

Wow.

I'm so sorry.

Is there anything else
you can do?

You know what?

The cool thing
about being a lawyer

is there's always
something else I can do

file a motion,
submit a memo.

I'm gonna go back
to the office,
do a little research.

I'll be in touch.Thank you.

Hello.

Grayson. Grayson, hi!

Grayson.

Oh! Oh, sorry.
Oh, Grayson, wait.

Oh, God! I'm so sorry!

I'm so... Aah! Oh! Oh! Aah!

Grayson.

Owen. Hi. Hey.

Hi. Uh,
I just saw Grayson leave.

Any chance you know
where he went?

Uh, yeah,
he asked for some time off.

Time off?

Did he say why?

How long is he gonna be gone?

Uh, I didn't
ask any questions.

He hasn't missed
a day of work in two years.

If he needs
some downtime,
he should get it.

No, yeah, right.
Of course.

I mean, mental health
is very important.

Um, so, how did
he seem to you,
mentally speaking?

Um, I don't know.

I mean, he was pale,
disheveled, exhausted.

I don't think he'd slept.

If you ask me,
it looked like
he'd seen a ghost.

Hey, muffin lady.

Are you talking to me?

Those look amazing.
How much?

Oh
They're for my best friend.

She's having a tough day.Oh, that's very thoughtful.

Are you single?

Wow. You don't
really waste any time.

Well, a gorgeous woman
who bakes why waste time?

I'm Charlie.

I should really get going.

Have dinner with me tonight.

I'm not in the right place
for having dinner these days.

That's okay.
I'm more of
a lunch guy, anyway.

I'd even settle for coffee.

Hey, blondie.
What's with the muffins?

Oh, they're for Jane.

Hmm. She's working.
I'll take them to her.

You know what? Forget coffee.
You look like a green tea gal.

I am.

Great. Then it's settled.

There's a cafe in the lobby.
I'll be there in an hour.

Hope you will, too.

Stacy baked you muffins. That's sweet.

Oh, Teri, I need you
to do something for me,

but I don't want you
to ask any questions.

Well, whatever it is,
it can't be as bad

as the time you made me
go to that Jessica Simpson
concert.

To serve a subpoena
to a backup singer.

You didn't have to stay
for both encores.

Now you tell me.

What can I do for you?

Track down Grayson.

I need to talk to him.
He's not answering his cell.

Hey. Am I interrupting?

Uh, no.

I saw your lunch lady client
in the office this morning.

She, uh, looked
pretty good
for a dead woman.

What? We ran her
social security number

from the pro bono
retainer form

tracked it back to a woman
who died 11 years ago.

Well, she probably just
wrote down the wrong digit.

Which is why we ran
her driver's license.

Address on file
at the DMV doesn't match
the one she gave us.

Okay.

She's trying to make sure
poor kids are getting fed.

Why would she lie?

That's a good question.

Oh, um...
I have a settlement
conference.

It's a new client.
Excuse me.

Jane, you know
I'm not so good with
the warm and fuzzy stuff,

but I'm really sorry
about your mom.

Thanks. Can I help with
the arrangements?

Oh, I might need you
to book me a ticket
to Austria.

What?

My mom didn't want
a funeral or a wake.

She, uh, she wants me to
keep her ashes for a year

and then spread them
across the Alps while singing
"Climb ev'ry mountain."

Okay.

Well, in the meantime,
I'll start searching
for Grayson,

and I'll look
into your dead client.

Great. Thank you, Teri.

I danced my ass off
for 10 years to earn money
to buy the Honey Pot

and then another 10 years
to make it the finest
gentlemen's club

in southern California.

Now, this cossack comes
and destroys all my hard work
by his outrageous lie.

It was just one review.

I mean, how many potential
customers actually read

what is it
stripadvisor.com?

There are signs in the club
stating that our liquor permit
is under review.

The department
of alcohol beverage control
monitors all complaints,

and, uh, his post
is delaying our approval.

They sent us a letter.

The holdup is costing me
over a thousand dollars a day.

Obviously, Charlie
didn't intend to interfere
with your permit.

How about he agrees
to take the review down,

and I'll draft up a letter
to the ABC,
retracting the allegations?

That's fine. Great.

I won't take it down. What?

I'm the victim here.

I'm not gonna take back
my honest review

so you can charge
a bunch of horny men
for overpriced booze

not to mention the stripper
still has my wallet.

Well, then,
we'll continue
with the suit.

As of today, you owe
my client $24,000
plus attorney fees.

Hand over the surveillance
footage from the V.I.P. Room,

and you'll see
I'm telling the truth.

We don't have cameras
in V.I.P. Room.

I know for a fact you do.

End of discussion.

What is wrong with you?

What? It's a matter
of principle.

Principle?
You were in a strip club.

You know, I'm not
the same sleazeball
you remember.

I was there to get a job.Really?

You wanted
to work the pole?

No, I applied to be
an assistant lab tech
at the Eastside free clinic.

The office manager
is a frequent patron
of the Honey Pot,

and I brought him there to
just advance my application
you know, grease the wheel.

Playboy Charlie French
wanted to work
at the free clinic?

I got a lot of
bad karma
to work off.

I'm saving up
to go back to school.
I finally have enough money,

assuming I don't
lose this lawsuit.

Charlie. Okay.

Okay.

Sometimes the best defense
is a good offense.

We'll file a counter claim
for conversion.

We'll argue that the club
encouraged the stripper

to rip off drunk patrons
and then the club took a cut.

If nothing else,
the hint of impropriety

should get them
to drop the suit.

Come on.

Jane. Jane.

Hey. Did you find
Grayson yet?

Not yet, but I may have
figured out why our
lunch lady lied.

Her social security number
tracks back to a woman
named Trudy Sumner.

Trudy went to
the same high school
as a woman named Ella Lawson.

Now, check this out.

An underwear model?

Sorry. That's Sven,
my "hunk of the day"
screen saver.

A federal terrorist
watch list?

That's right.
Now doubleclick
"Ella Lawson."

Oh, my God.Kathy Jenkins
is Ella Lawson.

Our lunch lady
is a fugitive.

Kathy, can I get you
some coffee?

No, I'm, I'm fine.

So, did you figure out
a way to appeal
the school board's ruling?

Actually, I asked you
here to talk about you...

Ella Lawson.

I need to go.You walk away,
I'll go to the feds.

Listen...

I know you're not
a bad person.

A bad person
would not fight
for hungry children.

Start from the beginning.

10 years ago,
I lived in Boston
with my husband.

At the time,
our son was
in the marines.

He was killed in the Iraq war,
which I strongly opposed.

I didn't want
any more Americans
to die,

so I...

Stole some munitions
from a military base.

That's a huge federal crime.

I just wanted to send
a protest message,

so I took 3,000 bullets
so they could never
be used to kill.

Oh, dear.

A day later,
I was at the grocery store.

My neighbor called
and said the cops
had surrounded my house.

I got in my car, drove
to L.A. with nothing but
the clothes on my back.

What about your husband?

He knew that I had
strong feelings
about the war,

but he had no idea
what I was planning.

So you just left him?

He was everything to me.

My husband still lives
in our old house in Boston.

How do you know that?

He posts messages
on Facebook,

says he thinks
about me every day.

I mean, obviously,
I can't write back,

but I think he knows
that I'm reading the posts.

Wow.

So you kept your identity
a secret for 10 years,

and you're risking it all
to ask me to help these kids?

If you saw their faces...

I mean, denying
a hungry child food?

It was too much.

Are you gonna turn me in?

No, I'm not.

But if you're
tired of running,

I could reach out
to the justice department.

It's been a long time.
Maybe I could cut a deal.

What kind of deal?

I'm not sure.

But with your permission...

Let me see what I can do.

Okay.

Your honor,
we're asking
for some latitude

to explore whether or not
the Honey Pot was conspiring

with their dancers to steal
from unsuspecting patrons.

That's ridiculous.

Uh, my client's
already been defamed,

and the accusations
in his counterclaim

damage the Honey Pot's
good name.

My client is the victim here.

Robbed in
their so-called
V.I.P. Room,

rather than return the stolen
money, they chose to sue him. Enough.

Are both parties
really refusing to settle?

We want justice.As do we.

Terrific.

I'm ordering discovery.
Let's get this off my docket,
quick as possible.

We want everything,
including the names
of all of their dancers

their real names.

The security footage.

And security footage from
inside and outside the club.

We've already
informed Mr. French,

we don't have
cameras in the club.

We're asking for
an order to search
the electrical closet

behind the deejay booth
to see if there's any
surveillance equipment

that records footage
inside the V.I.P. Room.

That sounds pretty specific.

Fine.

We have internal
security cameras.

We just don't like to remind
our patrons about them,

which is why
we are willing now
to drop lawsuit,

as well as demand for fees,

if he removes
his damaging review.

Not gonna happen.
No deal.

Are you kidding me?

Look, on my
way out of the club,

I was roughed up
by one of their bouncers

after I complained
about the incident.

It's not right.

They can't treat people
the way they treated me.

We decline the offer.

Please have all discovery
sent over immediately.

No one stole
your client's wallet,

and the footage
will prove that.

Yeah, well, we'll know
soon enough, won't we?

If you're upset
with me, we should
talk about it,

because making me wear
this suit and tie is cruel
and unusual punishment.

I'm not upset with you

although,
as a guardian angel,

you're really not
that much help these days.

I picked up your blouse
from the dry cleaner's
last Tuesday.

'Cause you spilled wine on it.

So if you're not mad at me,
then why am I wearing
this itchy ensemble?

I need to make an appeal
to the A.U.S.A. on
behalf of a client.

No other lawyers
in the firm were available,

and there is strength
in numbers.

So you want me
to pretend to be
a lawyer?

Oh, God.
This is a terrible idea.

It's an awesome idea.
I just watched
"Legally Blonde."

Do you think we should do
a bend and snap
before we go in?

Here's what
I want you to do... Yeah.

Keep your mouth shut,

and then I want you to nod
at everything I say.

You got it, counselor.

Snap.

Paul.

You expect me
to cut a deal

for a criminal
on a terrorist watch list,

and you won't tell me
their name?

Without my help,
you would have no idea
how to find this individual.

I would like to craft a plea.

Not without a name.

Fine.

Her name is Ella Lawson.

Ella Lawson hasn't
been seen in 10 years.

I am aware.

Turn her in,
or I'll charge you
with abetting a fugitive.

And why does
your associate
keep nodding?

Is there something
wrong with your neck?

No, but I find the necktie
to be really constricting,
like a noose.

Don't you?

Anyway...
I'm not abetting anyone.

I am merely
representing a client,

and your bully tactics
they don't scare me.

Or me.My client is repentant.

She is a law-abiding citizen.
She poses no threat.

She stole
military property
at wartime.

Look, you know what?
I need to make a phone call.

You can show yourselves out.

Why did he just
leave his own office?

My guess he's getting
a subpoena

so he can tap
our phone lines
at the firm,

hoping that
we will lead him
to our client.

We got to go. Hmm.

Jane. Hold on. Listen to me.

I need you to call
Kathy Jenkins from
your personal cell.

Tell her not to
call the office under
any circumstances

and that I will be
in touch directly.

I think our phones
are being tapped and

who's that guy in the suit?

No idea.

Excuse me.
Hi. How can I help you?

You're Jane Bingum.

Well, that's right.

Oh, I suppose you work
for the feds.

You've been sent here
to keep an eye on me?

That would be correct, ma'am. Well, shoot.

'cause, see,
this is private property,

which means, unless you have
a warrant, you're trespassing,

not to mention
that by gathering evidence

in an office
where a client
is represented,

you're violating
the fourth amendment.

So I suggest
you hightail it out
of here

before I haul your ass
into court.

Yes, ma'am.

Any more suits,
call security.

I'm gonna go to work.

Oh, Jane.Yeah?

I found Grayson.

He's at a sports bar
in Century city.

Here's the address.
Thank you, Teri.

Uh, tell Kathy
I will be in touch very soon.

There I am. I see.

And there's Finesse

at least,
that's the name
she gave me.

Real name is...
Wilma Kapelnicoff.

That rolls off the tongue,
doesn't it?

And you're putting
your wallet in your jacket,
Charlie.

Your wallet wasn't stolen. Wow.

I guess I was
more buzzed
than I thought.

I was sure she stole it. I can't believe this.

Well, I really
lost my wallet
that night.

I just assumed
the stripper took it.

Damn, I must have
left it in the taxi.

That story you told me
about being roughed up?

Well, I just thought
it would make you more
dedicated to my case.

I mean, Dudley Doright always
does better with a good cause.

If you call me that again,
I will punch you right
in the face. You hear me?

Look, if I take down
the review, will it help?

Yeah, Charlie.
It couldn't hurt.

Okay.

Can I buy you a drink?

You mind if I sit?

Grayson, um...

I wanted to talk.

You want to talk?

Yeah.

And I suppose because
you want to talk with me,

I should want
to talk with you?

um...

I don't really know
how to answer that,

but, yeah,
that's what
I would like.

That blond woman
who showed up
at your house,

what she said
it shouldn't make sense,

yet it seems
perfectly clear.

What seems perfectly clear?

Shouldn't I be the one
who gets to ask
the questions?

Yeah. Yeah.

Ask me anything you want.

Anything at all.

No.

No?

I don't want to talk
with you right now.

I came here to clear my head,
to get away from everything,

to get away from you.

I'd like you to leave.
Please leave. Grayson.

Now.

Grayson never looked
at me that way before.

He's confused.

And did he say
what else Brittany told him?

No.

But if Brittany told him
that I'm really Deb
and he believes her,

ii wouldn't blame him
for never wanting
to speak to me again.

I mean, I lied
to the love of my life.

You were following the rules.

Yeah, but he won't
care about that.

How about you take
the rest of the day off,
and let's go to the spa?

I wish I could, but I got to
meet a client at the
nail salon in half an hour.

You're getting
your nails done
with a client?

No, see, she's on
the federal terrorist
watch list,

so she's living
under a fake identity.

The FBI would arrest her
if I met her at the office.

Wow. You live
a very interesting life,
sweetie.

I know, right?
Anyway, I should
probably get going.

Oh, first, wait, um...

Okay, if I was having
dinner tonight with
a handsome man

with a great sense of humor
and gorgeous blue eyes

What dress should I wear?

Excuse me.
Do you have a date?

I do!What?

Okay, I met this great guy.

We went out for tea,
totally hit it off,

and he's taking me out
for Italian tonight.

Ooh.

That's the perfect dress.

The neckline says,
"I'm interested,
but I'm not easy,"

and if you spill red sauce,
it won't show.

Thank you. You're welcome.

Now, I really got to
get going

'cause I want to get
to the salon early.

To see if it's under
FBI surveillance?

No, I've got
a cracked cuticle.

Oh.

So, my conversation with
the A.U.S.A. didn't go well,

and it's now possible
that the feds are hoping
I'll lure you out of hiding.

Oh, my God.

I need to leave town. I'm so sorry.

It's all right.
I know you were
just trying to help.

The truth is, the hardest
part about leaving town

is missing the kids at school.

They depend on me.
Now I can't even say goodbye.

Excuse me.

Teri.

The A.U.S.A. just called.

He's reconsidered
his position.

He's offering you
three years in prison...

But only if Kathy
turns herself in today.

Kathy?

I'm tired of hiding.

Let's do it.

Come in.

Hey.

Hey. Got your text.

Have a seat.

I, uh, called in
some favors

and got the Honey Pot's
liquor permit expedited.

In exchange,

they're gonna drop the suit
and their demand for damages.

How can I thank you?

By staying out of trouble.

I swear, I'm a changed man.

I even brought you something.

It's a check for $3,000.

I know I owe you a lot more,
but it's a start.

Thank you. It's...

Hey, um... I mean,
do you want to go grab
a bite to eat or something?

Oh, you know, I would,
but I'm late
for this hot date.

I met this sexy,
smart woman,

and now I have
a reason to celebrate.

Who knows?
She could be the one.

Could be.

Charlie.

I really hope
to see you again soon.

Me, too.

Your honor,
I have come to the court

to effect
a voluntary surrender
of Ella Lawson.

With the A.U.S.A.'s
assistance,

we have reached
a disposition
of the charges

three years in exchange
for her turning herself in.

Is this true?Absolutely not.

What? What's going on?

We never offered
those terms.

Jane?Your honor,

his office contacted
my assistant

who relayed the offer
less than an hour ago.

Ms. Bingum came to my office
and asked for a plea.

I refused to engage.
In fact, I walked out
of the room.

He's sandbagging us.

I would never
make a deal with
a domestic terrorist.

In fact, we're seeking
the mandatory sentence
of 25 years.

She's a fugitive.
Arrest her.

Jane, do something.

Your honor,
at least set bail

until we can work
this all out.

The government asks
that bail be denied.

Ms. Lawson
is a proven flight risk.

Agreed.
Bail is denied.

Jane, what just happened?

They lied to us.

The government
used me to get to you.
I'm so sorry.

Yeah, Teri,
they arrested her.

No, he completely
lied to my face.

Excuse me, Ms. Bingum,
uh, do you have a moment?

Uh, listen,
I got to go. Bye.

Hi. I'm sorry.
Do I know you?

I'm Stan Glassman.
I'm a producer.

Oh, my God.
I do know you.

I mean, I know of you.

You produced
"12 angry maidens."

I auditioned
for angry maiden
number 11.

Really? Yeah.

I mean, it was such
a long time ago,
and I'm no longer acting.

But, um, I'm actually
right in the middle
of something, so...

Look, I heard about
your client,
the fugitive lunch lady,

and I think her story
would make a terrific movie.

I'd like to option
her life rights.

I can offer you 50 grand.

I appreciate your interest,
but the "Son of Sam" law

prohibits my client
from profiting from her story.

What about you? What about me?

Sell me your rights.

I'm sure you could
offer the screenwriter
a unique point of view.

No. No, thank you.
Thank you.

But my only concern right now
is how best to help my client.

Excuse me.

Owen, you have to see
what's on alisterz.com.

Okay.

The governor elect was
caught at the Honey Pot
getting a lap dance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa
this still frame was taken
from the surveillance footage

from Charlie's night
at the club.

That... That's Finesse
leaving the frame.

I watched the video
at least 10 times.

I never noticed
the governor.

That's 'cause
we were looking
at our client.

We weren't focused
on the other patrons.

Was Charlie ever alone
with the discovery?

Yeah, sure.

Charlie's the one
who sold this screen grab.

Where's Jane? She went home. Why?

Because this photo
puts the entire firm
in jeopardy.

Coming.

Hey! Hi.

Hi. We have a problem.

Ugh, if this is about Teri
stealing your yogurt
from the fridge,

you have got to put
your name on the carton.

I'm serious.

Okay. What's wrong?

I was played by a client.

He came to me
with a manufactured lawsuit

solely for the purpose
of gaining access
to discovery,

which he then sold
to alisterz.com.

It's a website that peddles
in celebrity gossip.

Yeah, I know.
Was it a Lindsay Lohan
car accident?

No. No, it was
the governor elect
getting a lap dance.

Ohh. This is huge.

Yeah. Your client's actions violate

section 166
of the California
penal code.

And as his lawyer,
you could be indicted. Oh, I know.

And I've opened the firm up
to massive civil penalties.

Didn't you vet this client?

His name is Charlie.

We have a long
and complicated history.

Look, I should have
told you this a long time ago,
but the truth is

And that's when I discovered
I was allergic to Llamas.

I swear to god.

Owen, what are you
doing here?

I was about to ask you
the same thing.

Oh, this is the girl
I was telling you about.

You were on a date
with Stacy?

She's your hot date? We had a lovely evening.

He took me to Il Capricio.

Stacy, Charlie
is my brother.

What? What?

You have a brother?

This is the client
that I was telling
you about.

This is Charlie. Nice to meet you.

Hey, we were engaged.

You never said anything
about a brother.

Oh, my God.
I just made out
with my baby's uncle.

Oh!

You have a baby? Ugh. I am pregnant.

Your brother is the father. Whoa!

Okay, maybe you should
have told me you had
a baby on board

before I bought you dinner.

Maybe you should have
told my best friend

that you're a con artist
before she agreed
to go out with you.

Ohh, you're his brother
and a con artist?

I should probably leave.

We have warrants
for Charlie
and Owen French.

Officer, before
this gets out of hand,

Owen French
didn't do anything wrong.

Jane, it's okay.
I'm Owen French.
This is Charlie.

Let's go.

Thank you.

Owen. Hey.

How did you get them
to drop the charges?

Well, I pulled
Judge Summers out of dinner
told her what happened,

and she made a few calls. Hmm.

You know, you have
a long line of people
ready to stand up for you.

What about my brother?

They're charging him
with larceny.

They looked
into his bank records.

Apparently, he received
a large check from
alisterz.com today.

He just gave me
a check for $3,000.

Well, whatever you do,
don't cash it.

You know...
For what it's worth,

I understand
why you never
told me about him.

Thanks.

What about you?
Uh, what's going on
with your case?

Oh, well, the A.U.S.A.
lied to me,
and I have no recourse.

Yeah, they'll pretty
much say anything

when they're pursuing
someone on the federal
terrorist watch list.

25 years
for a symbolic protest?

It's just too severe.

Well, if you can't dispute
the facts, go for her intent.

Put her on the stand
and get her to
explain herself.

So argue that
stealing military property

is a form of freedom
of expression?

You got anything better?

I wasn't trying to
hurt our country.

I love America,
but I was trying
to make a statement.

That you opposed
the Iraq war.

Yes. I lost my son.

I didn't want
any more people to die.

Thank you.

So, you stole

3,000 rounds
of 25 millimeter
tracer ammunition.

Is that right? Yes.

Were you aware
that those bullets

cost the government
over $50,000?

No. Are you aware
that the threshold

for a grand larceny
conviction is $25,000?

I am now.

Kathy, you never
sold those bullets

or profited from the theft
in any way, did you?

No. Like I said,
the theft was symbolic.

In fact,
I chose those
specific bullets

because they could
only be used in
military issue weapons.

Wait. Hold on.

So you're saying
that those bullets won't work

in commercially
available guns?

Yes. That's right.

Apprendi v. New Jersey.

What's going on here?
In Apprendi,

the supreme court held
that facts that can
enhance a sentence

must be found
by a finder of fact.

So?So, your honor,

you're the
finder of fact here.

Which means that
I can use whatever
valuation system I want.

Yes, and I ask that
you find that those bullets

were worthless
to Kathy as there's
no secondary market.

Because they can
only be used in
military weapons.

Exactly, so instead
of grand larceny,

the charge against
my client could be reduced
to petty larceny,

which carries
no mandatory
minimum sentence.

The government
still asks for 25 years.

Your honor,
my client committed
this crime a decade ago.

And since then,
she has been
a law abiding lunch lady.

Three years in prison
is more than enough.

And the government
is opposed to
that disposition.

Your honor, my client
has demonstrated her
potential for rehabilitation.

The only reason
she risked being caught

is because she was trying
to protect the welfare
of her students.

Please. No need to beg, Ms. Bingum.

Three years is acceptable.

Thank you.
Um...

Oh, uh, just
one more request

would you permit
my client a few minutes
with her husband?

Uh, they haven't
seen each other
in a very long time.

Why not?

I got you back.

Thanks for coming to see me.

You put my firm in jeopardy.

You put my career
and my reputation
in danger real danger.

I know.

I'm a screw up.

I've always been a screw up.

We're not kids, Charlie!

That excuse
isn't gonna play anymore.

I want to know something.

Why did you do it?

Why did you
sell that footage
to alisterz.com?

Did you really think
that you'd get away with it?

They said they were gonna
hold it for a week.

It would have given me
time to get back to Europe.

They lied to me.
Can you believe that?

Can I believe that
they lied to you?
You lied to me.

You told me that you
had turned your life around.

You told me that
you were going back to school.
Do you remember that?

I just told you
what you needed to hear.

But I really am sorry.

I need you.

It's not gonna work anymore.

Owen...

I'm sorry.

I seriously messed up.
I'm scared.

I need an attorney,
and I can't afford one.

The court will appoint
a public defender.

We're done.

Ms. Bingum,
I was surprised
to get your phone call.

I'm sure.

Did you change your mind
about selling your story?

Not me, my client.

But the "Son of Sam" laws?

Right, they prevent her
from profiting from her story,

but she would like you
to donate the money

to the hot lunch program
at South Oak elementary.

Feed the kids.
I love a happy ending.

Well, great.
Our price is $100,000.

I won't go above $50,000.

Listen, the donation's
tax deductible.

You'll practically
make back the difference.

But, you know,
if you're not interested,

I've got two other producers
lined up, so... You have a deal.

Oh, not so fast.

I would like consultation
rights on who plays me
in the movie.

I have prepared
a list of my top10 choices.

I think Sandra Bullock

she's got the humor
and the gravitas
to really make me pop,

but Jennifer Lawrence
I mean, she's delightful,

so a really close runner up.

I'll see what I can do.

Stace, are you home?

I won my case,
and now Sandra Bullock

is going to play me
in the movie...

Hey.

I'm ready to talk.

Oh. I'm glad to hear that.

But first,
I have a question.

Anything.

Who are you?

I think you already know.

Grayson, it's me.

I'm Deb.