All language subtitles for Drop Dead Diva (2009) - S05E08 - 50 Shades of Grayson (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Celdra)_track3_[eng]

See that
aspiring model there?

That's me, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go
straight to heaven,

but there was
a bit of a mix-up,

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now, I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life,
a new wardrobe,

and the only people
who really know
what's going on with me

are my girlfriend, Stacy,

and my guardian angel, Paul.

I used to think everything
happened for a reason.

Whoo!

Well, I sure hope I was right.

* La, la-la, la-la-la-la

* La, la-la, la

Oh, no, no, seriously,
I'm good.

I'm good.

Whoo! Take it off!
* Working every
night and day

Stacy!
Oh! Oh!

Oh, wow!
* Never give yourself
enough time

* Got so many bills to pay
Wow, that is spectacular.

You must do like
a thousand pushups
every day.

Oh!

Oh, God, that's too close!

It's too close.
It's too close!

* Good to give yourself
some room

Ohh! Wow!
* Move to the music

Oh, God! Oh, God!
Emma!

Hi!

You should totally
do a shot on that
blond's six pack.

I will call him over.
Oh, I'm fine.

I'm fine.
But thanks, Stacy.

Can you believe
I'm getting married
in two days?

No.

I shouldn't even
be looking at them.

I know,
but let's kind of
look again.

Oh, this is Robert's
best man calling
from the bachelor party.

Okay.

No, Stacy! Stace!

That's like your
third shooter
in 10 minutes.

I'm about to be
artificially inseminated.

And this
bachelorette party is...
It's like my last hurrah.

Okay.

Emma!

Who wants
to strip naked

and jump into
the neighbor's hot tub?

Wow, are you okay?

Robert was arrested
in San Diego.

Oh, God.
* Clap your hands, ohh

I need to get
down there, Jane.
He needs a lawyer.

* Stomp your feet, ohh

* Stomp your feet

I am furious. I'm devastated.
I am pissed to high hell!

Just slow down.
Start from the beginning.

When my husband
lost his job,
we were in bad shape.

So I decided
to publish a book online.

And at first, I was earning
almost $2,000 a month,

but now almost nothing.

And it's all because
a best seller

ripped off my story line,
my characters everything!

Look. Here's my book.

"The Randy Baron:
An erotic thriller."

I know what
you're thinking.

But it paid the bills.

Last we spoke,
I thought you were writing
a serious novel.

Yeah, I couldn't
find a publisher.

But they all complimented
on the one sex scene...

missionary in a yoga studio.

And that's when
you decided
to write E-rom?

Erotic romance.

There's a huge market
for female focused
historical erotica.

"The Randy Baron"
saved my family.

But then it got ripped off
by "The Naughty Earl."

Look.

With the marketing
behind that book,

my book has become invisible.

They're really
that similar?

Down to the mead driven orgy
in the hedge maze.

Mmm! I've always wanted
to do it in a maze.

You're not alone.
Women really responded
to my book.

Well, that's probably why
Elyse Hoffman copied you.

Cindy, we'll start
working on your
case immediately.

Robert was
having a blast.

We got drunk
at the hotel

and decided to
cross the border
into Tijuana.

Always a smart decision.

We were marinated in tequila.
We weren't thinking straight.

What exactly happened
to my fiance?

When we were coming back
to the U.S.,

we got separated
at the border
crossing station.

As his best man,
I went to look for him

and found out
he was arrested for
disorderly conduct.

Okay, I need to speak
with Robert.

The marshal said
he'll come get us

when he's in his
holding cell.

Holding cell?
No, no, no.

It's all fine.

Listen, you and Robert
are going to be married
tomorrow night.

I promise.

Okay?

Anyone need caffeine?

No, thank you.
Okay, I'll be right back.

Ah, this court
never has cream.

Which is why
I keep a stash
in the fridge.

You never know
when they'll arrest
a client at the border.

Thank you!

I'm Luis.
Jane.

You an immigration
attorney?

Well, my office
is in Long Beach,

but I practically live
in this courthouse.

Ah!
I am digging that outfit.

Especially the, uh,
glitter in the hair.

Oh. Yeah.
I left a bachelorette party
to rescue a drunk bachelor

who got arrested
at the border.

Happens every night.

You'll argue
before Judge Coleman,

and if your client
doesn't have a record,

he'll just be released
with a fine.

Great. Thank you.

Excuse me. Jane?
Robert's ready for us.

Okay. Thanks, again. Luis?

Yeah. No problem.
I'll see you later.

I have an appearance
before the same judge, so...

Great.

Emma, I am so sorry.

You swore that
the party wouldn't
get out of control.

What happened?

Honestly, I don't know.

Okay, Robert,
what do you remember?

I was at the Hard Rock
pounding shots,

and then I woke up in jail
with vomit on my shoes.

Everything in between
is a blank.

Emma, please forgive me.

I can't wait
to get married.

But right now
I want to kill you.

You had an impressive
second quarter.

Things are certainly up
since you've arrived.

I'm just part of a team,
Mr. Tuttle.

Ah. Meet my colleague.
Ah, Ms. Kaswell.

It's a pleasure
to meet you.
I'm sorry I'm late.

I was just with a client.

Not a problem.
Clients should
always come first.

Spoken like
a true malpractice
insurance adjustor.

Yes, and, uh,
I'm sure you're both busy,

so I'll get down to it.

Mr. Parker has hired me
to make sure that the firm
is adequately protected.

I'll need access to
all of your employees
and your records.

I'm sorry.
W...will you excuse me
for a second?

Certainly.

I'll use the time
to speak with Ms. Kaswell.

Great.

So, Ms. Kaswell,

how long do you plan on
being out of commission?

Excuse me?

Maternity leave.
It's relevant
to my assessment.

Oh.

Um, yeah, I plan
to keep my leave
as short as possible.

Uh-huh.

I mean, I'm... I'm working on
my childcare plans right now.

Ii believe it, uh,
takes a village.

A village?

Hmm. Got it.

Stacy, what's wrong?

Oh, nothing's wrong.

I brought gifts
in honor of your
sperm donation.

Boxers?
Mm-hmm.

Well, Jane happened
to mention that
you wear tighty whities,

but...
Huh.

...to maximize
sperm motility,

you got to
keep those fellas
free and cool.

Uh-huh.

Fertil-Aid.

The selenium and zinc
increase sperm count.

Let me guess
super sperm water.

No, just regular water.

Don't take the pills
without drinking.

I don't want you to choke.

Okay. Stacy, when exactly
will you be ovulating?

Any day now.

As soon as my ovulation
stick turns pink,

I will pick you up,

drive you to the clinic
at Roosevelt Hospital,

and you can make
a fresh deposit.

Okay. I'll be ready.

Okay!
All right.

Excuse me.

I did some digging
on the "Randy Baron" case.

Now, according to
Cindy's sales records,

her eBook was downloaded
by an executive
at the publishing house.

Well, that's great.

It proves the
publishing house
had access.

Nice work.
Thanks.

Nicole's stepping up.

I'm glad you've noticed.

You know,
we only date
where we work

when we're too busy
to seek it out elsewhere.

Says the woman
who's expecting

the senior partner's baby
any minute.

Says the woman
who was dumped
by the senior partner

and speaks from
experience.

Hey, Grayson,
other than me,

does anyone else know
about the two of you?

No, we're being discreet.

Well, for what it's worth,
be careful.

Don't hurt her.

What about me?
I could get hurt.

Yeah, that's not
gonna happen.

Was my client
sloppy drunk? Yes.

I mean, we all know
how guys can be
at bachelor parties.

But the disorderly conduct
charge should be dropped.

My client has
no prior record.

What does the United States
have to say on this?

Your Honor, the United States
is amending its complaint.

We are now
charging Robert Medina

with false representation
of citizenship

in violation of 8 U.S. code
section 1227.

Excuse me. What?

Your client is not
a U.S. citizen.

It's true.
I, I moved to the U.S.
when I was an infant,

and I have a green card.

I don't even speak Spanish.

Okay, my client
is a legal resident.
He has a green card.

The defendant
was born in Mexico.

Your Honor, last night,
while trying to cross back
into the United States,

he went into
the American citizen line.

I call the court's attention
to the surveillance footage.

Okay, what is the problem?

His California
driver's license is valid.

So, Your Honor,
as I mentioned earlier,

my client was
really drunk.

Getting in the wrong line...
It was just...

It was just
an innocent mistake.

The law prohibits
the impersonation

of an American citizen
at a border crossing.

It...

I agree. I'm gonna
set this down for trial.

Uh, whoa!

Your Honor, my client
is due to be married
in 36 hours.

I request
an expedited hearing.

Fine, we'll reconvene
after lunch.

Ms. Bingum?
Yeah?

I know you're in a rush,
but, uh...

If your client
is found guilty,

the penalty
is exclusion from the U.S.

For a minimum of five years.

Robert will be stuck
in Mexico?

Yeah, that's right,
and, uh, I'm sorry to say,

but the odds are against you.

Oh, man,
I love bachelor parties.

Getting so drunk
you can't remember anything?

What's the point?

If you have to ask,
you can't understand it.

Whose phone
is this, anyway?

The best man's,
whom I blame

for taking my client
out of the country
in the first place.

Thank you for driving down,
by the way.

I needed this
change of clothes
in the worst way.

I listened to Beyonce.
I flashed a few truckers.

Two hours flew by.

Now that I'm here,
I thought I might
go to the beach.

Uh, no. Not so fast.

I need you to go through
the discovery the A.U.S.A.
just dumped on me.

Hey, I thought
you Angelinos
might be hungry.

Gracias, senor.
Thank you!

So the false
representation charge...
Mm-hmm.

...it's based on
this federal statute
rarely enforced before 9/11,

but now the U.S.
attorney's office
is using it

as this anti-immigration
weapon.

Robert is a legal immigrant
with no record!

Yes, and having
a clean record is key.

Be sure to tell the court
that Robert never meant
to misrepresent himself.

Okay.
Oh, and it wouldn't hurt

to compliment
Judge Coleman's watch.

Why his watch?

His brother makes these
handcrafted watch bands.

He could talk about it
for hours.

Thank you for
helping my wife.

Her book...
It...it really saved us.

Don't worry, Howard.
We're gonna make this right.

All rise.

Be seated.

Ms. Kaswell.
Yes.

Your Honor,
we'd like to introduce

as plaintiff's exhibit "A,"

a sales report
from my client's company.

On May 5th, a credit card
owned by Jamie Levit

was used to purchase
my client's book.

Ms. Levit is an editor
with the Hudson Lake Press,

which proves
they had access
to her book.

Just because an employee
purchased the book

doesn't prove
Elyse Hoffman copied it.

Correct, which is why
we need to hear from
Ms. Hoffman.

Elyse Hoffman
is actually here.

I'm... I'm sorry. What?

Hudson Lake Press
is Elyse Hoffman.

You want to explain that?

My client uses
a team of writers

to compose
their erotic fiction,

but even if we admit
to access,

the standard for
a plagiarism claim is
substantial similarity.

We are not
stipulating to that.

She's right, Ms. Kaswell.

And the burden of proof
is on you.

Well, thank you for
noticing, Ms. Bingum.

These bands also come
in women's styles,

and they're available
in a shop across the street.

Well, I will have to
buy me a few before
heading back to L.A.,

which I'm hoping
will be today,

as there's no reason
to further detain my client,

a respected businessman

who never intended
to misrepresent himself.

Very well.
Does the government
wish to add anything?

Yes, Your Honor.

Based on recent information,
we are proceeding

with additional
criminal charges
against the defendant.

What?
Solicitation
of a prostitute

at the San Diego
Hard Rock Hotel

yesterday,
prior to visiting Mexico.

The San Diego P.D.
just sent my office

a credit card receipt
for a "happy massage."

Even if that's true...
It's not true.

Even if the allegations
are true,

it's only a misdemeanor.

It's also a crime
of moral turpitude,

and any person
convicted of such a crime,

if found guilty
of false representation,

faces a 10-year exclusion
from the United States.

I'm sorry, Ms. Bingum,
but these proceedings
are stayed

pending the outcome
of this solicitation charge,

which I will hear
this afternoon.

So you have no memory
of using your credit card
at 11:03 P.M.

to pay for a Tina Lassider's
massage service?

I, I don't remember
anything.

But I would never
cheat on Emma.

How can you not
remember?

No matter how much I drank,
I would never cheat on you.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

Robert's innocent.

He didn't hire the prostitute.

I did.

I, I used your credit card
while you were passed out.

Son of a bitch!

I was really wasted,
which is no excuse.

I'm so sorry, dude.

Let's talk about
Jane Bingum.

What about Jane?

From what I've heard,
she's a trial phenol.

She is an asset
to the firm.

Mr. French,
why did you join
Harrison and Parker?

I mean, you could have
made more at a larger place.

Cut to the chase, Tuttle.

I think you came here
for Jane.

How is that relevant?

Now that
you're no longer together,

I'd like to know
if you plan on
sticking around.

We were over
before I joined the firm.

Perhaps you're hoping
to win her back.

No. No,
that's not the case.

You're a tremendous
litigator.

Why don't you
try to convince me that
you don't want Jane back.

Mr. Tuttle.

You need to know
if I'm staying with the firm

because if I left,
it would affect
our insurance.

I'm telling you
without hesitation

I'm not going anywhere.

My client's best man
hired the prostitute,

and he is willing
to plead guilty.

I'll even go to jail.

Robert is innocent.
I swear.
And I don't believe you.

This isn't the first time
a well-intentioned friend

offered to take the heat
for someone facing
a harsh penalty,

such as deportation.

The immigration charge
should have no bearing on
how you handle this case.

I won't drop the charges
against your client,

but I will
offer him a deal...

No jail time
in exchange for
a guilty plea.

Well, unfortunately,
we can't take that deal.

Solicitation
gets my client deported.

Then I have no choice.
I'll see you in court.

We went into
the suite's bedroom,

and I ran his card
on my phone's payment app.

$250 is my rate
for bobbing for apples,
if you know what I mean.

I believe I do.

No further questions.

Ms. Lassider,
after you left the hotel,
weren't you arrested for...

"Bobbing for apples"
with a different man

three hours after
you claimed you
"bobbed" with my client?

Yeah.
They busted us
in his Prius.

And yet
you aren't being charged

for any crimes that night,

as part of your
immunity deal.

Yeah, but I'm telling
the truth.

Credit cards don't lie.

Um...

You know what, you're right.
Credit cards don't lie.

People's exhibit 3...

your credit card receipt
complete with time...

11:03 P.M.

That's relevant why?

I would like to introduce
into evidence

defendant's exhibit
7 and 8...

Time-stamped photographs
of my client

taken the night of
the alleged crime.

Tina, those photographs
show that my client was
passed out at 10:48 P.M.

and still passed out
at 11:22 P.M.

I imagine
the hotel room was dark.

Could you have "bobbed"
for someone else's apple

and confused him
for my client?

That's the guy.
If it helps,

I remember he was wearing
blue boxer briefs.

Blue boxer briefs?

I, I find it interesting
because when my client
was arrested,

he was wearing
plaid boxers,

as noted in defendant's
exhibit 4...

The federal intake report.

At this time,
I would like to ask Keith,

Robert's best man,
to please stand up.

What color and style
of underwear do you wear?

See for yourself.

Blue boxer briefs.

I move
to dismiss all charges
against my client.

Motion granted.
This case is dismissed.

We are done for the day.

Your Honor,
what about the false
representation charge?

My docket's full.

Soonest I'd be able
to hear this is two weeks.

No. No, no, no.

See, my client's
getting married tomorrow.

There's nothing I can do.

Uh, excuse me, Your Honor?

I believe I have
an at liberty defendant

scheduled to
appear before you
tomorrow morning.

I'd be delighted
to adjourn that matter

in order to clear time
for Ms. Bingum's case.

Works for me.
We're adjourned till tomorrow.

Thank you so much.
How can I ever repay you?

Um, have dinner
with me tonight?

Okay.

Okay.

Professor Sharf,
you have a PhD
in literature

from Stanford University?

That's correct.

And you've read
both the novel
and the online book.

Every page.

Did you find them to be
substantially similar?

Yes.

Uh, characters, tone,
scene structure,

even the basic plot.

And how do you
explain that?

Whoever wrote
"The Naughty Earl",

first read
"The Randy Baron".

And copied it.

Nothing further.

Professor Sharf,
are you familiar with

the software program
called PlagiarismNet?

Yes.
It's the gold standard
to prove plagiarism.

I'd like to introduce
into evidence
a PlagiarismNet report

comparing "The Naughty Earl"
to "The Randy Baron."

Objection.
Your Honor, Ms. Kaswell

can produce 100 experts
who will say that

these two books
are substantially similar.

I can produce 100 more
that say they're not.

We contend that
this software

is an objective way
to provide the truth.

The objection is overruled.

Professor,
I have the results

of a PlagiarismNet
comparison of
these two novels.

Could you please
read the results?

The report shows
a score of 41%.

Can you explain
what that means?

It means there's a 41% chance
that the work was plagiarized.

The burden of proof
for the plaintiff

is a preponderance
of the evidence.

If there's only a 41% chance
that the work was plagiarized,

you need to side
with my client.

Well, hold on.

We request time
to review the report.

You have one night.

-Dinner was delicious.
-Yeah.

Oh, and I loved that story
about your roommate.

Oh, well,
it's totally true.

I mean,
she created a business

out of half a pie
and half a cake.

Amazing.

All right, Luis,
so tell me all
your secrets.

How do I win my case?
You stay on point.

The law wasn't meant
to keep good people like
Robert out of the country.

You know,
I'm free tomorrow morning

if you'd like for me
to sit in as your
unofficial second chair?

Yeah! Your stature
could really help out
with the judge.

Thank you.

Okay.

Enough shop talk.
Tell me about you.

Uh, well, there's...
There's not much to tell.

Oh, I find that
hard to believe.

Jane,
you realize that Long Beach
isn't that far from L.A.

Oh.

Oh. Um...

I'm not really in a...
In a place for...for dating.

Oh. You're seeing someone.

Well, not exactly.
It's...
No?

Mm!

Oh.
You know what?
I think I'm gonna go.

Is that okay?
I'm sorry.

I'm fine.
It's gonna be fine.

Yeah? I'll see you.
Okay.

Thank you so much.
Yeah.

Thank you.
Yeah, no problem.

Hi.

Can I go to the beach?

I thought you said that
Asians don't like the beach.

They don't like the sun,
but I like the surfers.

What are you looking at?
The video of Robert's arrest.

It's 15 seconds long.
Can you go to immigration?

Ask if they have anything
that came before or after it?

Sure.
Thanks.

But first, is there
anything you want to tell me?

Rumor has it you were
chowing on pasta primavera

with a charming
Latin lawyer.

Well, that's true.

And he kissed me.
Jane Bingum,
I'm impressed.

Luis is smart,
and passionate,
and single,

and I felt
absolutely nothing.

I'm serious,
not even a flutter.

When we get back to L.A.,

I'm gonna set you up
with my sex therapist.

Maybe you need to open up
your sex chakra.

No. I think
my sex chakra's fine.

Look, we both know
what's going on here.

The question is
what are you gonna
do about it?

This is about Grayson.

It's always been
about Grayson.

It's always gonna be
about Grayson.

I love him, Teri.

Finally.
You said it out loud.

Now, why are you
telling me and not him?

Well...

Emma, you okay?

I'll follow up
on that video.
Thanks.

If Robert can't go back
to the United States,
I'll die.

Emma.
I love him so much.

I know it sounds sappy,

but the minute I met him,
I knew we'd be married.

I knew we'd be
together forever.

And now I just...
I can't bear
the thought that...

My mother is sick.

She lives with us,
and I take care of her.

If Robert
gets stuck in Mexico,
I can't just go with him.

Please tell me
that we're gonna win.

Well, can't you challenge
the PlagiarismNet report?

We won't prevail.
It's been independently
verified.

I'm sorry.

Look, Cindy... This might
not bring much solace,

but I've read your E-rom,
and you have talent.

Don't let those thieves
dissuade you from writing
another book.

You don't understand.

My book is personal.

You lost me.

It sounds crazy, I know.

But my book is based on
my life with Howard.

I changed the names.

I changed the settings
and obviously put it
in a different time period,

but all of those scenes...

Howard and I lived them.

Look, Kim, the only way
that I was able to write
that book so quickly

is because
it is inspired by my life.

Can you prove it?

Yeah, I, I kept a journal.

Cindy,
we're going back to court.

Stacy.

Hey.

Uh, what are you
doing here?

I'm pink. Ii mean,
my ovulation stick is pink.

I'm ovulating!
Oh! Okay. Uh, great.

I'll... I'll go to the clinic
right after work.

No, no,
we need to go now.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no. I can't.

Ii have a new client
meeting at 2:00,

and I, I abso...
What is that?

Well, if you can't
go to the clinic,

I'll bring the clinic
to you.

Uh, where exactly
am I supposed to go
to fill this?

There's a bathroom
down the hall.

Seriously?
Mm-hmm.

Oh, I also... I bought you
a magazine for inspiration.

The girl on the cover
has lovely skin.

So, I'll be downstairs
getting frozen yogurt,

and you just give me a call
when the deed is done.

I hope I didn't offend you.

Clearly,
I misread the situation.

Oh, no offense taken.

United States v Robert Medina.

And we are back
in session.

As you are aware,
my client has been cleared

of the state's
solicitation charge,

and given that
he has no record...

This statute is being
used as a weapon

to victimize innocent,
law-abiding legal residents.

Uh, Luis,
please let me finish.
The A.U.S.A.'s targeting

certain groups under
orders from their
Washington superiors

who have an anti-immigration
agenda, and I...

Whoa! I am not alleging
anything like that.

Can we get back to
discussing my client's
lack of intent?

Sit down!
Mr. Vega,

are you suggesting that
I'm part of some
anti-immigration witch hunt?

No!
Yes!

I object!
You can't object
to your co-counsel.

You're on the same side.

Well, I'm not so sure
about that.

Counsel is seeking
to use this case

to grandstand
for political purposes.

And now we are asking for
a lifetime of exclusion
from the United States.

Your Honor,
a recess, please.

30 minutes.

How dare you!

Hijacking my case to set up
a federal appeal?

We need to get
this statute overturned.

It is not being used
to keep out illegal aliens,

but rather to deport
legal residents like Robert,

who simply
walked on to
the wrong line!

I am sympathetic,
but my objective

is to free my client
in time for his wedding!

I'm not here
to change federal law!

Robert's a perfect case
for appeal.

I mean, under this law,
he could end up in some
foreign country

where he doesn't even
speak the language!

Yeah. That's why
I'm trying to keep him
from getting deported.

Good luck
with your crusade.

But please,
stay away from my client...

And me.

Uh, Your Honor,
before you rule,

we are amending
our complaint to add
a conversion claim,

as we can prove
that Hudson Lake Press

interfered with
our client's ownership
of her life rights.

There are no life rights
in this case.

My client's eBook
is based on her...

Rather adventurous
sex life.

Howard, please stand.

Your Honor,
Howard Kasper is
The Lord of Sussex,

the Randy Baron,
and Cindy is his mistress,

the Countess of Chestny,
Lady Climoria.

You've got to be kidding.

Oh, I would never
kid about sex.

We'd like to introduce
into evidence

plaintiff's exhibit 11...
Cindy Kasper's journal.

We need time
to read the journal.

We'll resume in one hour.

Owen? Owen, listen to me!

I was wrong.
The egg is not
in the basket.

Keep the fish in the pond.
Fish in the pond!

Why are you screaming
about fish?

I was...buying an aquarium.

Is Owen in there?

He's behind you.

Thank you.

Owen.

Please tell me you haven't.

I haven't.

Are we talking about
the same thing?

I tried. Twice.
I can't do it at work.

Thank God.
I'm not ovulating.

You said the stick was pink.

Actually, I was
wearing my new
rose-tinted sunglasses,

and I misread the stick.

Sorry about
the false alarm.

You know what?
You can have this back.

Oh.
If we're gonna do this,

we're gonna do this
the old-fashioned way.

No, no, no!

In a small,
windowless room

in a hospital's
fertility clinic.

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Teri.
I got your text.

Talk fast. I'm due back
in court in five.

I thought
you'd want to see this.
Good! Yes!

The additional footage
from immigration.

No, not from immigration.
Okay.

U.S. Immigration
only had the 15 seconds

the A.U.S.A. supplied
at discovery.

But borders have two sides.

You got footage
from Mexico?

My ex-boy toy Manuel has
a cousin at the consulate.

Check this out.
Okay.

And now we know
when he puked.

Okay.
I'm failing to see
the relevance.

Stay focused, Jane.
Watch this.

Wait a minute.

He did not intentionally walk
into that U.S. citizen's line.

He was guided there.

Ahh!
I thought you'd be happy.

Can I go flirt with
surfers now?

I bought a big straw hat
and margarita shaker.

Yes, Teri. Go.

I am gonna get my client
to his wedding.

Mrs. Kasper,
as I understand it,

chapter 7 of your online book
is based on a swinger party

you and your husband
attended in Van Nuys?

That's true.

Can you please
read the highlighted
journal entry?

"I brought a casserole
to the Bosnak housewarming,

"and the next thing I knew,
the caterers were naked,

"and we were
in the middle of an orgy

"in their converted garage."

Grayson, will you please
read the first few lines
of chapter 7

of Cindy's online book,
"The Randy Baron"?

"I brought a Welsh pudding
to the Vickford's new manor.

"Our garments were
torn from us by their
scantily clad servants

"as we were thrown into
the most splendid of orgies

"in the smoking room."

Cindy, regarding
the Bosnak casserole party,

how does your
journal entry conclude?

"I was incredibly turned on,

"especially when
Stanley Bosnak
picked me up

"and lifted me
onto his body.

"To think,
I was worried my casserole
wouldn't go over."

Grayson, the, uh
the last few lines

of the Welsh
pudding party, please.

"My lady pot
was dripping with desire

"as the squire lifted me
upon his throbbing kingdom.

"To think, only that morn

"I worried my Welsh pudding
had chiggers."

Your Honor, obviously,
the correlation is, uh...

Um...

The correlation is...um...

Ohh!

You okay?
Ms. Kaswell?

I'm so sorry.

It appears, um...
My water just broke.

But let's move on.

Um, Cindy, please read
your next journal entry

regarding
the Jacobsen key party.

Kim, you're in labor.
No, no, no. I'm fine.

I'm fine.
Just...just read it.

Ms. Kaswell, I think
we'd better adjourn.

Do you need
medical assistance?

I don't... I don't think so.
No, not yet.

I just will request
a 30 minute recess,

and then I'd like to jump
right to my closing.

You're having a baby.

I'm fine, really.
30 minutes...

If you're available.

But right now
you need to go.
Okay. Thank you.

My client
did not intend to get
into the wrong line.

He was placed there
by a well-meaning
Mexican official.

We never received
this footage.

Oh, well, that's 'cause
you never asked for it.

It's from the
Mexican consulate.

Judge, I am so sorry.

The footage is indisputable.

The defendant
shall be released.

Now, one final point,
Your Honor.

Go ahead, Ms. Kaswell.

And for the record,
I only agreed to this

so I wouldn't
have to argue with you.

Sorry. Sorry.

One...one second!

Ohh!

Sorry.

The standard of proof
for conversion

is also a preponderance
of the evidence.

Based on
my client's testimony,
as well as her journal,

it's clear that
we've met that burden!

I agree.
I find for the plaintiff.

Aah!
Whoo!

Now go, please.
Have that baby.

Thanks, Kim!

Ohh. You're welcome.

Now get me
the damn epidural!

Oh, you look beautiful!

Well, so do you!

I love getting ready
for weddings.

Although I will say this one
took a little too much effort.

So I want to know more
about the hot lawyer.

He kissed you,
and you felt nothing?

Zero.

But nobody could make me
feel anything except...

Grayson.

Yeah.

You know, the whole time
I was in San Diego,
I thought about him.

Because you love him
and you should be with him.

What is that?
Uh, it's my timer.

I set my phone to ring
every three hours

to remind me
to pee on a stick.

Excuse me.

That's me.

Hey.

Okay.

Yes.

That's great news.

Okay. Bye.

Stace.

Kim is at
Roosevelt Hospital.

She just had her baby.

She had a boy.
Ohh!

That's awesome!
Let's go.

You want to visit Kim?

I need to meet Owen there.

The fertility clinic
is on the third floor,

and I'm officially ovulating.

Okay.

All right, here we go.

Congratulations!

Hey.

I thought you were
in San Diego.

I just got back.

For the baby.

Ohh.

Let me guess.
There must be a sale
at the gift shop.

Uh...

Grayson got me that one.

Well, it was between
that or SpongeBob.

Is Grayson still here?

Yeah, he, um...
He went to see the baby
in the nursery.

They took him away
so I could sleep,

but, uh...
I miss him already.

You look pretty.

Uh, thank you.

I'm going to a wedding.

And you came by to see me?
Thank you.

Oh, sure.

Well, I'm also here because
Stacy is getting inseminated.

Oh. Eee!

Oh, well, uh,
two birds, one stone.
How efficient.

Yeah.

Oh. That's actually Stacy.
She wants to see me.

But congratulations
again, Kim.
Thank you.

I'm really gonna
miss you!

What?

I don't know why I said that.
I'm obviously still hormonal.

Okay.

It's okay, Kim.

Just...just go home and...
And enjoy that baby.

You'll hold down the fort?

Oh, believe me,
all the chaos
will still be here

when you get back.

Thanks, Jane.

Bye.
Bye.

Hey.
Hey.

Um, I just heard
from Stacy.

I assume
you did your part?

You assume correctly.
Okay.

Uh, she's got to stay
in there for like

another half-hour
or so.

How did San Diego go?
Did you save the groom?

I did, yes.

Actually, Emma should be
walking down the aisle
right about now.

Good work.
Thanks.

Well, I'll see you later.
Okay.

Okay.

Bye.
Bye.

Uh, Mr. French.

If you don't mind,
I'd like a word with
you and Ms. Kaswell.

Uh, of course.

Thank you, Mr. Tuttle,
but why are you here?

Well, I hadn't
planned to tell you
this in the hospital,

but it can't wait.
What can't wait?

My purpose
in evaluating the firm

wasn't for
malpractice insurance.

It was to appraise it...
For a sale.

What?
Wait, hold on.
Parker wants a buyout?

He's making a new life
for himself,

and he wants an accurate
evaluation of the firm.

It's all here
in the notice
of dissolution.

Harrison and Parker
will be sold to the
highest bidder.

Congratulations
on the baby.

Uh...
Hmm!

I hate that
you look good
from every angle.

I need to keep my legs up
for another 20 minutes.

I can't believe I could
actually be getting
pregnant right now.

I'm thinking
positive thoughts for you.

Thank you.
And I'm doing
the same for you.

Why me?

Well, for you and Grayson.

I mean, Jane,
he's crazy about you.

And as far as
I'm concerned,

any day
you're not with him
is a wasted day.

I mean, take it from someone
who loves and respects you.

You need to go to him
and tell him how you feel.

But...

Mnh-mnh.
Stop with the excuses.

The man told you
he loves you,

and the only reason
you didn't say it back

is because you were
consumed with guilt.

Jane, do you know
where he is right now?

Yes, he went to the nursery
to see Kim's baby.

So you need to go to him.

Life is too short.
Don't waste another minute.

You of all people
should know this.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm really gonna do this,
you know.

Thank you.

Hello, there.

Hey.

Oh, he is so cute.

Yeah. Look at those
tiny hands.

"Every child begins
the world again."

Henry David Thoreau.

"Burp 'em once,
then burp 'em again."

My grandma Ruth.

What about you,
Grayson?

Do you want kids?

Enough for a basketball team.

How about you?

Absolutely...

Oh, yeah?

...As soon as
I find the right guy.

* And how would I ever know
if I never tried

* If I never tried
to love you?

* It's easy to blame myself
for wanting something else

* Wanting something else

* And I'm not okay
with just leaving

* I'm not okay
with just leaving *