All language subtitles for Drop Dead Diva (2009) - S01E10 - Make Me a Match (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Celdra)_track3_[eng]

See that aspiring model there?

That was me, Deb,
until the day I died.

I thought I'd go
straight to heaven,

but there was a bit
of a mix-up

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life,
a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really
know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy
and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think everything
happened for a reason...

Whoo! Ha-ha!

...and, well,
I sure hope I was right.

♪ La, la, la, la-la-la-la

♪ La, la-la, la

♪ He'll be the one for me

Mmm.
That is a work of art.

Just know it's not
gonna go to waste.

What? Hey!
Hey, yourself.

Judge Summers'
office called.

You are being summoned
to her chambers.

She said you missed
your last two meetings,

so you better be prompt.

What meetings?

No idea.
I didn't schedule them.

She sounded annoyed.

Hmm.
I love mushrooms.

When did she call?
About 10 minutes ago.

Why didn't you tell me
10 minutes ago?

I was waiting for you
to make me lunch.

Thank you.

I think I'm in trouble.
Teri said she sounded annoyed.

Oh, come on.
She's just a judge.

What can she do to you?

She puts people in jail,
Stacy.

Then why do you keep
blowing her off?

I didn't know I was.

If I go to jail,
promise you'll bail me out.

Okay, but not till tomorrow.
The shoot is going all night.

The Yo-Ho-Hos are
kind of perfectionists.

Here.

Sweetie, I got to go,
but drive carefully.

It just got real foggy.

Knock, knock.

Am I late? I'm late.

Am I in trouble?
Big trouble.

I've been reading up
on my Funk & Wagnalls,

and I'm definitely gonna
kick your butt.

At Scrabble?

No, karate.
Of course Scrabble.

Running tally: you, 7,642,

me, 7,512.

I never should have
challenged you on quetzal.

Quetzal.
Q-u-e-t-z-a-l.

77 points without
a double letter.

It's a South American parrot.
Oh-hoh!

Go ahead. Rub it in.

It'll only make my victory
that much sweeter.

We got to hurry up.
I only got 45 minutes

before the parade of
human misery begins again.

Him.

We need him.

Okay.

Hey, do you have a minute?
I have a client in my office.

The one
who was pointing at me?

Her name is Lily,

and she's actually more
than a client.

She's an, uh,
acquaintance.

-An acquaintance?
-An adviser.

Financial?
A psychic.

No jokes, no snide remarks.
Do not roll your eyeballs.

How about a smirk?

When you walked by
just now,

she said that she got
a hit off of you.

Really? You're the last person
I thought would fall for that.

Grayson, she said you're gonna
win her case. Will you help?

Who could say no to that?

"Schmoopy"?

Triple-word score and a bingo.
Write it down.

I already gave you manipedi.
I'm not giving you that.

It's a word.
Enlighten me.

"Schmoopy" is what my
boyfriend used to call me.

What boyfriend?

Um--
Yeah, that's what I thought.

Made-up word,
made-up boyfriend.

Hey, that was really mean.

Oh, no, I'm not judging.
I mean, look at me.

I'm the one who just dropped
25 grand on that
dating service.

And what do I have
to show for it? Bubkes.

Twenty-five thousand dollars?

You found it for me.

Not that I'm blaming you, but,
you know,

for that much money, I figured
they'd find me a prince,

or at least a Baldwin.

Ooh, yeah, but not the younger
one.
No.

Well, I hope you got
your money back.

I called.
They said they fulfilled

their end of the bargain.

Well,
that's unacceptable.

Yeah, well, I didn't
want to cause a stink.

I have enough conflict
in my day job.

Do you know what you need?

Mm-hm. Two W's and a Q
A good lawyer.

Tomorrow,
you're coming to my office,

and we're getting your money
back.

All right, fine, but I'm still
challenging you on "schmoopy."

Fine.

Why is she staring
at me?

People will tell you

the eyes are the window
to the soul.

Don't buy it.
No?

It's the eyebrows.

Eyebrows draw attention
to the eyes,

playing a key role in the
sexual dance between love
and lust.

Lily, why don't you
catch us up?

I should have seen this
coming. The day after Father
died,

Mercury transited
into Sagittarius,

and that wreaks havoc
on familial partnerships.

Yeah, well,
we all missed that one.

Mm, sarcasm.

"The last refuge
of modest people

when their soul
is invaded."

Dostoyevsky.

So you and your sister, Tessa,
inherited your father's shop.

Yeah, the Third Eye Psychic
Shoppe in Santa Monica.

It's been there
for 60 years.

Father was an immense talent.

He told Elvis to enlist,
Angelina to adopt.

After he passed,

we were supposed to run
the shop together.

But that didn't work out?

You ever try putting a pair
of hamsters in a duffel bag?

Like that.
And then three months ago,

she up and left.

To open a competing store
across the street.

And she calls it
the Third I,

"I," as opposed to "eye."

Did your father leave a will?

Father? No.
Thought he'd live forever.

For all of his gifts,
he didn't see the big picture.

Thin eyebrows...

unlike you.

Ahem. Which means his estate

will pass on to both of you
in equal shares.

She refuses to work
with me.

Tessa's sent out flyers
using Father's name

to everyone on
our mailing list

as if she were
the true legacy.

Are you saying your sister
didn't share your

powers?

They're referred to as gifts.

Gifts, powers,
who gives a rat's ass?

We both got them
up the hoo-ha.

That's what makes it
so sad.

I mean, if we were
a couple of hacks,

I'd turn the shop into a
falafel stand and call
it a day.

She is confusing
the marketplace.

It's a long shot.

But you can win it.

Oh, I didn't say that.

You don't have to.

Scrabble?

Oh, you pick seven tiles
with different letters.

Yeah, I know the game.

But why isn't it
on your calendar?

Is it some kind
of dirty Scrabble,

like strip poker
or naked Twister?

Who plays that, Teri?

No, my clothes stayed on.

Um, put it on my calendar

for the third Tuesday
of every month, okay?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't even--

Jane, right?

Yes. How did you know?
Don't worry, Jane.

You won't be alone for long.

And stay away from chili.
It's murder on the pancreas.

Who was that?

Kim's client, a psychic.

One rung below mimes
and balloon artists.

Well, she knew my name,
so she must be good.

Yeah, she either read your
soul, or she read your in-box.

And the psychic had this look

like she could totally
see through me.

Stacy:
Hmm.

Were you wearing
your blue-silk top?

'Cause in the right light,
you can totally see your...

That's not you at the door,
is it?

No.

But if you're scared,

there's a croquet mallet
under my bed.

Hello?

Jane.

How about letting me in?

Oh, my God.

Jane?

♪ If you want to call

God, I miss deli food.
Even gherkins.

Can we go back to the part
about you being here for good?

Oh, I couldn't
concentrate up there.

I was sending bad people
to heaven and vice versa.

Because of Stacy?

She's all I could think about.

There's a loophole
in my contract,

and I gave up
my guardian-angel status

to return to Earth
as one of you.

Wait a minute.

You traded heaven

for Stacy?

I didn't have a choice.

After that kiss--
No, no, no.

Her memory's been erased.
She doesn't know who you are.

She fell for me once,
so I know that it can happen.

Listen,
it was a long trip,

so I should probably
get back to your condo.

Oh.

After you left,
I rented it out.

Okay. Just a little bump
in the road.

What about my job?

The firm replaced you.
They hired someone else.

Of course they did.

You can crash
on the sofa.

But try and be out of here

before Stacy gets here
in the morning.

No one is more frustrated
than I

when a client struggles
to find a match.

Yeah, I'm sure
you feel awful.

We would like a full refund.
All due respect,

my client fulfilled their end
of the contract.

Oh, really, because my client
is still single?

The service provided her
with 28 prospective matches.

Frogs.
Excuse me?

Miss Hall provided Judge
Summers with 28
individual dates.

Not one led
to a second date.

Do you know what we call guys
like that?

Frogs?

Frogs. As in, you got to
kiss a lot of.

Oh, you find that funny?

No.

A little.

Um, your contract guarantees
an acceptable match

with whom a member
completes multiple dates

within a three-month period.

There were
no multiple dates.

In fact, some of the guys
didn't make it till the entre.

Whose fault is that?
Excuse me?

I'm just saying
the client is very picky.

She is a highly intelligent
woman

whose standards are
of a certain caliber,

which is precisely
why she came to you.

Madeline, I understand
you're frustrated.

Really?
What gave it away?

Look, my husband passed away
four years ago.

I'm not looking
for a fairy tale.

I just want someone
who doesn't get on my nerves.

I have an idea.

If you're open to it,
every month,

we host a mixer,
invite all the clients.

And I don't believe
you've been to any of them.

No.
We're having one tonight

at Bar Boca.
Ooh, I love their appletinis.

Heh. They're good.

I have a very good feeling
about tonight's group.

Well, I'm not really much
into mixers.

If you will excuse me.

Miss Hall, do you
really think there will be

an appropriate match
at this event?

I already have
someone in mind.

So, what did they give you,
cash or check?

I think you should go tonight.
I knew you were gonna
say that.

What if tonight's the
night you meet the one?

What if tonight's the night
an asteroid lands on Bar Boca?

Well, then, I'll sue
for wrongful death. Win-win.

Except you'll be dead too,
because you're coming with me.

Jane,
you're home early.

Aah!
Aah!

Hi. Uh, I didn't know
you'd be home yet.

Oh, my God.
You're robbing us and baking?

I know you don't
remember me, but, um--

Drop your weapon! It's not a
weapon. It's a whisk.

Drop it! Stacy, it's me,
Fred. We kissed.

Kiss this, buddy.
No, no, no!

Aah!
Aah, God! Geez!

Ha.

Call Jane.

You know I loathe
sweet grass.

Aw, but it is so cleansing.

Sage is cleansing.

Sweet grass is
a Rastafarian street vendor.

Maybe we should
get this moving

before the fire marshal
shows up.

We appreciate you
both coming in.

We're only here as a courtesy.
My client's done nothing
wrong.

She's killing the business!

I mean, she might as well

take a can of gas
and torch the joint.

Don't be so dramatic.

You're the one doing that
thing with your voice.

This is how I talk.

Ow! What the hell?

That's how you talk!

And dressing like Anne Boleyn?
Give me a break.

What's with those scarves? You
trying to hide an extra chin?

You want to borrow one?
We can play Isadora Duncan.

Ladies, let's focus, please.

We're prepared to file an
injunction to close you down

unless you change
the name of your store

and relocate to no closer
than five miles away.

Not a chance.

You know, just because you're
the oldest

and think you're entitled,

but I'm the one who studied
with Madame Weitzman
in Prague.

She was a drunk
who ran a youth hostel.

I think we all need
a cooling-off period.

How about we take a break
and reconvene later?

Reconvene? What happened to
jumping in and saving the day?

I guess the universe hasn't
told me what to say yet.

You are killing the business!

Your heart chakra needs
a triple bypass.

You have such anger. No wonder
you've been married six times.

Ooh, said the single woman

with eight cats.

What?

Schmoopy is still close.

Did you say--
You heard me.

Better?

She pepper-sprayed me.

I warned you.

I know,
but I thought that--

What, that she would see a
complete stranger in her house

and think, "that's the kind
of guy I should be dating"?

But I am that guy.
She just doesn't remember.

Fred, she thinks of you

as the crazy, souffl-cooking,
home-invader guy.

You have to help me
change that.

I have done
everything I can do.

I told her you were an old
friend who's down on his luck

and that you're sleeping
on the couch for a while.

How does that help?

What do you want me
to do?

Help her see
that I could be her type.

But you're not!

You rest. Stacy and I
are gonna be out late.

We have to go meet
Judge Summers.

Is this okay
for the mixer?

Oh, my God.

Are you sure the judge
is going to want me there?

You could stay here
and take care of me.

I refilled
my pepper spray.

Understood.

Well, I didn't expect
to see you so soon.

But you knew
I was coming?

Of course.

Fifty dollars for contact?

With the deceased.

Loved ones, parents,
girlfriends.

It's my specialty.

You know what?
This was a mistake.

I-I really shouldn't be
speaking with you at all.

No. I don't believe
in mistakes.

And we're not really going to
be talking about the case,
are we?

Just tuck it behind your ear.

Would you tell her to stop it?
All right, Stacy.

I'm just trying to get her
hair a little more fun.

Yeah, well,
my hair doesn't like fun.

My hair likes a good book,
a glass of Chablis,

and bed
before Nightline.

I think what Stacy's
trying to say

is that it's all
about first impressions

at an event like this.

So true.

Well, first impressions
are a lie, okay?

That's why I don't believe
in blush

or teeth whitening
or hair dye.

Sooner or later, they're gonna
get to know who
you really are.

And I say life is short.
Why not make it sooner?

Madeline, I know

that a function like this
can seem overwhelming.

Yes. I'd rather have
a root canal.

Aha, then you are in luck.

The guy in the blue blazer, I
saw him sign in, oral surgeon.

He had crooked teeth.
Go figure.

Moving on,
let's review small talk.

So when a guy looks at you
from across the room

and he gives you
the puffy chest

and the perky eyebrow
and the curled-lip thing,

you go up to him
and say--

"Excuse me,
are you having a stroke?"

All right. Clearly,
this was a bad idea.

I'm kidding. I'm going in.

Look at the variety
of men here.

Maybe I should try
a dating service.

Right, 'cause you have
so much trouble finding men.

Sometimes, I feel
like I just keep meeting

the same guy
over and over.

Well, maybe you should
broaden your search.

What do you mean?

Like, instead of jocks,
you try another type,

like a cute but somewhat
awkward shorter guy

with small biceps,

someone who doesn't
take you for granted

and who would give up
everything just to be
with you.

You are so wacky
when you drink.

Um, I'm gonna go look around.

Her death was very sudden.

It was. There's also
an obituary that says so.

I don't read the papers.

Her name was--
Oh.

I'm getting a D.

Deb.

She's a strong presence.

She was.

Not was, is.

She's still a part
of your life.

-You feel that, don't you?
-I don't know.

I-- I don't really buy
into any of this.

Then why are you here? 'Cause
if there's even a chance

that you can...

I want to know...

For the first time
since Deb...

You find yourself thinking
of someone else.

It's okay.
She wants you to be happy.

What if you're just telling me
what I want to hear?

That's what I'm getting
from Deb,

but it's for you
to decide.

Is this you and Lily?

Yeah.

You were close, weren't you?

Now you're being quiet.

You know,
it's odd to keep a photo

of someone you can't even
talk to.

It's late.

And if we're done here,
I'm closing up.

Okay, thanks.

The crazy thing is my parents
wanted me to go into the arts.

And I said, "Ma,

I want to be a doctor."

You're boring yourself
there, uh, Mark?

Uh, sorry.
It was a long day.

Mm.
Up past your bedtime?

Why don't you go
get some rest?

Madeline?
Yeah.

I'd like to introduce you
to Martin Donnelly.

Diana speaks very highly
of you.

Well, hello, Martin. At least
he's the right age range.

Why don't you sit down?

Maybe we'll reminisce about
the Nixon administration.

I'll leave you to it.

Well, hello.
Nice to meet you.

Getting hazard pay
for this one?

Am I gonna need it,
Tony?

Just trying to break
the ice, Jane.

Why?

Seems like the thing
to do.

We're both
in the same field.

We are allowed to
have a conversation

that's not adversarial,
I think.

Well, between you and me,

wouldn't it be easier
if your client

just paid my client
the refund?

Mm, maybe,

but that would be like a, uh,
failure to Diana.

And she doesn't
like failure.

Aw, shoot.
Mm-hmm.

What's this?

Um, that's a business card.

You know, in some cultures,
they actually exchange them.

You know, in case you
ever want to go to dinner,

you know,
talk about the case or...

not talk about the case.

I'm sorry.
Did you just ask me out?

That would be inappropriate,
right?

Yeah.
At least at this moment.

Yeah.

The thing is, uh,

I think your complaint against
Diana is about to go away.

She looks happy.

Mm-hmm.

Excuse us.

Code red.

The guy with the judge,
I know him.

He sold me a car.

Salesmen are nice
and stable.

In that deodorant commercial
I did last year,

he played a salesman
with B.O.

He's an actor, unemployed.

There is no way he can afford
a dating service like this.

Oh, my God.

You shouldn't have
to pay $25,000

to meet unemployed actors.

You can meet them for free
at Jerry's Deli.

Diana hired him
to charm Judge Summers.

You are
actually quite charming.

We have to go.

Jane, this is Martin.

Hi, Martin. Nice to meet you.
Good luck with your auditions.

Ready? Let's go.
Hmm?

Excuse me.
I'll be right back.

I cannot believe
I fell for it.

Don't blame yourself.
I've seen his work. He's good.

"We'll go to the mixer. You'll
meet the man of your dreams."

I was wrong.
Right.

Now I'm gonna make that woman
pay.

We'll file for fraud, intent
to deceive, false advertising.

Are you emotionally
distressed? Look at this face!

Punitive damages.

What?

"Punitive."
It's a funny word.

But this is very serious.

You're damn right it is.

And tomorrow,
Diana Hall will regret this.

You have to remember to ask
her why she picked
Martin for me.

For the last time,
I am not going to ask that.

-Jane--
-Just let me do my job.

Is there a problem,
Miss Bingum?

No, Your Honor.

Miss Hall, how much
did you charge my client

for your dating service?

Twenty-five thousand dollars.

Twenty-five thousand dollars.

You set up my client with a
man named Martin Donnelly.

How much did he pay
for your dating service?

Nothing.

Miss Hall, I have
your service contract here.

Will you just point
to the place where it says

that, for their $25,000,

you will be introducing your
clients to unemployed actors

who have paid nothing
to attend your mixers?

It doesn't.

Nothing further.

Why didn't you ask her
why she chose Martin for me?

Because it is not relevant.
Shh.

Miss Hall, why was
Mr. Donnelly given a free
membership?

A person is more than the size
of their wallet.

If I think that a candidate
is special

and he or she passes
our extensive background

and vetting process,

then I will sometimes
offer a free membership.

So Mr. Donnelly
isn't the only one?

I have given
free memberships

to a firefighter,
a professor,

a cop, even a law student.

I think these scholarships

help to round out the pool
for potential matches.

Nothing further.

The witness may step down.

Redirect, Your Honor.

What are you doing?

Excuse me?
Madeline.

I believe I have the right.
I will keep it short.

Proceed.

Thank you.

Miss Hall, at your mixer,

you chose one particular guy
for me,

an out-of-work actor.

Why him?

Mr. Donnelly has a warm
energy, a kind heart,

and he's an avid reader.
Three different book clubs.

And as far as I could tell,

the two of you
were getting along.

Was I wrong?

Nothing further.

Very well.
We'll recess for lunch.

You shouldn't
have done that.

What did you
just say to me?

I didn't want the jury
to hear that.

Jane, did you just say
"I told you so" to me?

No, but I will now.

I told you so, I told you so,
I told you so.

Well, I have never.

I am absolutely appalled,
Jane Bingum.

Well, I'm appalled.

I appreciate you showing up
on short notice.

This is a waste of time.

Do you have any idea
how many sessions I'm missing?

Sessions with my clients.

Look, nobody's forcing them

-to walk across the street.
-Bite me.

Don't take this wrong,
but we've heard enough

-from both of you.
-Then what are we doing here?

I want to speak
with the one person

we've yet to hear from:
your father.

Are you kidding me?

You can't talk
to the dead.

Excuse me?

Well, I'm not saying
it's impossible.

Good, because we're
requesting the deposition

-of Leon Lancaster.
-Do you know what
you're doing?

Lily, for all your issues
with your sister,

I haven't once heard you
doubt her abilities.

She's a phenomenal psychic,
just a lousy sister.

Tessa, do you believe you can
contact your father
right here?

I can try.

Good morning, M-- Good
morning, Mr. Parker.
I hope I-- I'm not--

You're the kid who's been
waiting to see me all morning.

You've got 30 seconds
to tell me

what the hell you're doing
in my office.

Uh, my name is Fred, and I'm
here to get my job back.

What job?
You never worked here.

True, uh, w-what I meant
to say is

even though I've
never worked here before,

I-I feel like I have.

Um, I-I'm friends
with Jane Bingum,

and I know your,
uh, firm inside and out.

I think that-- No, I know

that I could be
a kick-ass mail-room guy.

You do realize that position's
already been filled?

Yeah, but has it really? The
guy you got there now,
he's fine.

But does he know to maximize
a toner cartridge

by shaking it side to side?
Does he know that
when you have

a depo before noon,
you arrive early,

and you like the
coffee machine prepped?

Does he know that Golf Digest
arrives on Tuesday

and you like to read it
over lunch,

but with a breakfast pastry,
so he should set one aside
for you?

I do like that.
I know, sir.

Cherry cheese are
your favorite.

Jennifer,
call down to the mail room.

Tell them the new guy's
being replaced.

Oh. Sorry, kid. Uh, Whiting
& Lippman are looking.

I'll put in a good word.

He's near.

I can feel his presence.

Let him know
you're honoring his memory

by serving smoothies
in your new shop

with the curlicue straws.

She takes coupons.

No negatives.

Okay. Got him.

Hi, Dad.
Lily and I are both here.

Okay, Tessa, now that
you've established contact,

ask your father how he wants
the business run
in his absence.

Dad said he left his
life's work

to both of us, 50/50,

with neither of us having
more say than the other.

So it was his intent

for you to work together,
as equal partners?

Dad says yes.

What did I say?

But he knew
with our personalities,

that would be challenging,

and so he assumed he would
be getting this call.

Ask him about your shop,
the new one.

Is he okay with it?
Oh, come on. Don't ask that.

What do you think she's gonna
say?

This is legitimate.
Your side stipulated--

Dad says
he's not okay with my shop.

This would not hold up
in court, you realize.

Dad says
I'm in over my head.

He says my problem is
I don't always listen,

and I should
because Lily has good ideas.

His wish is for me
to work with Lily.

Dad says I need Lily...

...and Lily needs me.

I knew that.

It's okay.

Mm-hmm.
It's okay.

You went on 28 dates through
Miss Hall's dating service.

Were any of these men
viable matches?

No.

But you were promised
a match, right?

It was a guarantee,
a money-back guarantee.

Your witness.

Judge Summers,
isn't it true

that you rejected every match
that Diana set up for you

because of your
impossibly high standards?

Absolutely not.

I have response cards
that you filled out

after every one
of your dates.

Do you remember

why you didn't want to see
Matt Stalls again?

He wasn't very well-read.

Hmm. Sean Carls?

He had an annoying voice.

Michael Doody?

Couldn't get past the last
name. Exactly.

Don Reynolds.

"Ears." That's all you wrote,
just "ears."

Objection, Your Honor,
counsel is testifying,

badgering the witness,
and, frankly, making me angry.

Sustained.
Judge Summers,

isn't it true
you misrepresented yourself

when you signed up
for this service?

Of course not.

Would you mind
reading your own profile?

"I am a fun-loving romantic

"who enjoys quiet walks
on the beach,

candlelit dinners,
and Hugh Grant movies."

Is that all true, 'cause you
don't really seem like

the fun-loving, romantic type?
Your Honor.

That's the kind of man
my husband was,

and that's the kind of man
I'm looking for.

What's the last Hugh Grant
movie you saw?

You know,
I really don't need this.

Can you even name
a Hugh Grant movie?

Four Weddings and Your
Funeral.0Are you familiar
with that one,

you smug, insolent piece
of crap?

Madeline--
I'm done.

No, no, no, you can't leave.
Your Honor.

Madeline, you are not
dismissed. I will hold you
in contempt.

Well, you can't,
because I'm dropping the case.

No case, no contempt.
Goodbye.

Uh, short recess,
Your Honor.

What are you doing? You know
you can't walk out
of a courtroom.

Are you sure you
want to be lecturing me?

All right, look,
I understand you're upset.

I am not upset,
I am pissed,

at that lawyer for humiliating
me in open court

and myself for letting him,

but mostly I am pissed at you.

Me? What did I do?

You pushed me into this,
court. You're the one who
signed me up

for that stupid service to
begin with.

Well, I'm sure I didn't tell
you to lie on your
questionnaire.

You filled it out
for me!

What?

Jane, I trusted you
when you said

that I should
get out of the house.

I got out of the house.
Now look at this mess.

Judge Summers.

Madeline!

Judge Summers.

Do I know you?

I'm Jane Bingum's assistant,
no reason you should remember.

We've only been introduced
6 or 17 times.

Teri.

Not so good with faces.
Attitude, however...

I suppose
she sent you here.

You suppose wrong.

I came here because you are
bumming her out.

I am bumming her out?

Jane doesn't have
a lot of friends, and--

And you are one of them.

And-- And she tried
to help you,

and you kicked her
to the curb!

She forced me
into that courtroom,

and I have never been so
humiliated in my entire life.

Oh, please.

You know,
you have a reputation.

For being a tough,
no-nonsense force of nature

who doesn't get
pushed around.

Nobody forced you
into that courtroom.

The case didn't go your way,

and now you are looking
for someone to blame.

If you were my assistant,

I would fire you
for insubordination.

If I was your assistant,

you'd already be
on the Supreme Court.

People say I'm a force
of nature?

Jane left you
a bunch of messages.

You should call her back.

Summoning the dead dad,
that was genius.

How did you know it would
work? I sensed it.

Came down
to communication.

I needed to make it possible
for the sisters to talk

without pride
getting in the way.

You didn't actually believe
they were contacting
their father?

It doesn't matter
what I believe. It worked.

Nice dodge.

All right. You want to know
what I believe?

I believe sometimes people
need a little nudge.

A nudge?

Tessa wanted to apologize
to her sister

but needed someone
to show her how to do it.

Lily wanted her sister back

but didn't want to be
the one to say so.

Mm-hmm.
And then there's us.

Us? You think all this has
something to do with us?

I know we agreed not to talk
about the kiss.

Right. We're gonna
pretend it never happened.

Right.
Right.

But the truth is...

I'm a little bit psychic.

Really?

And I sense

that if I asked you
out to dinner on a date,

you'll say yes.

So, what do you say?

You busy?

Uh, discovery
from the dating service.

I subpoenaed every file
of every member in the state.

Heh. Guess I went
a little overboard.

You really were
trying to help me.

Yeah.

Jane, uh, I want to apologize.

I-I overreacted.

I blamed you for things
that weren't your fault.

But it was my fault.

Hugh Grant
was my lame-o idea.

No, I distinctly remember
that was mine.

Murray loved those movies.

God help me, I was just trying
to find somebody like him.

I understand.

I hope you never know
what it's like

to lose the love of your life,

to have to go on without him.

I can't imagine.

Still, you know, it doesn't
give somebody like Diana

the right to take advantage.

I mean, she may not have
broken that contract,

but she definitely bent it.

Yeah.

Ron Haywood,
what is that file doing here?

Is that from my office?
No.

These are all
from the dating service.

Ron Haywood is a client,
Diana's client?

Yeah, she tried to set you
up with him,

but I guess he declined
the date.

His loss, by the way.

Did you file the papers to
have my case dismissed yet?

No, I was going to
first thing in the morning.

I have a better idea.
Don't.

Miss Hall, your contract
states that every client

has undergone an extensive
background check, correct?

That's right.
And you claim

that your background checks
are state-of-the-art.

True?
Absolutely.

They must be if you're asking
someone to pay $25,000.

So anything less than that

would be breach of contract,
am I right?

I suppose so, yes.

Would the man in the back row
please stand?

Do you recognize
Ron Haywood?

Yes. He's a client.
Is it true that you tried

to set him up with Judge
Summers two months ago?

I tried.
He declined the date.

Hmm.

The heart wants
what the heart wants.

Yes, it does.

Or maybe he just didn't
want to date the woman

who sentenced him to five to
seven years in prison

for wire fraud.

Were you aware, Miss Hall,
that Mr. Haywood is a
convicted felon

and that Judge Summers
presided at his trial?

No. Last night, with
the cooperation

of the prison board,

I cross-referenced
all of your clients

with the California
felony database,

and Mr. Haywood and seven
other men were on both lists.

So, Miss Hall,

you have introduced felons
to wealthy women.

Gosh, imagine the liability.

Your Honor,
we'd like a short recess.

Yes. I imagine you would.

That should do it.

Your articles
of incorporation,

everything your father wanted,
in black and white.

You will be co-owners
of the original business.

A 50/50 split.

Mr. Kent,
you came through for us,

just like the universe
told me you would.

You know, the universe told me
the same thing.

Yeah, I'm sure the universe
has nothing better to do

than tell us the same thing.
Ladies.

Sorry.
It was no big thing.

Listen, we are gonna go
out to dinner at Le Deux.

Would you like to join us?

Actually,
we would love to join you,

but we already have
dinner plans.

Mm-hmm.
Hm.

Oh.

Don't order the halibut.

Just a feeling.
Heh.

A full refund?

Every penny,

and they've agreed to disclose
their business practices

in all promotional literature.

And what about the ex-cons?

Oh, they're shutting down
for a month

to implement a vetting
process,

well, a real one this time,
under court supervision.

Well done, and thanks.

What is that?

Oh, I was just packing up
some case files,

and this caught my eye.

George Cotton,
do you remember him?

Uh, yeah. He was a chef.

Yeah, you went out
with him once.

Take a look
at the feedback card.

"Madeline has
a sharp sense of humor

"and a distinct world view. I
found her tough, but lovable,

a winning combination."

He's kind of cute.

His phone number's
on the back.

Really?

Thank you.

Stacy.

Hey.
Are you ready to go?

What?

I'm sorry.
I was talking to...

Let me just turn in my last
time card, and we're out
of here.

Dude!

Are you going out
with Stacy?

I can't believe it,
either.

This started off
as the worst week ever.

Fired for no reason
at all.

I'm on the balcony,
contemplating my sorry life,

when this goddess
starts talking to me.

Uh, then she says something
about trying on a new type

and suggests we get drinks.

You're killing me.
I know, right?

Hey, uh, you seem
like the kind of guy

who has no problem
with the ladies.

Uh, any advice?

Yeah.

Just, um,
treat her well.

She deserves the best.

Cool.

Thanks.

Excuse me. I'm looking
for the ladies' room.

Oh, you're Kim's psychic.

Um, the other day,

you told me that I wouldn't be
alone for long.

Was I right?

Can I ask you something?

Well, normally, you'd have to
make an appointment.

But, oh, go ahead.
I'm in a good mood.

Um, I have this friend,

and she's lost the love
of her life.

And she knows
that she should move on,

but she's kind of stuck.

"What is hell?

"I maintain
that it is the suffering

"of being unable to love.

Wait. What does that mean?

I have no idea.
You'd have to ask Dostoyevsky.

But I sense
it applies to you.

Jane, the best way to get
unstuck

is to give yourself
a kick in the ass.

You don't have to live
in the past.

Nicastro.

Hello?

Hi.

Hi, it's Jane Bingum,
Tony.

Calling to gloat?

Uh, you know,
the other night,

you said that
we should have dinner.

Was that just a strategic move
to throw me off my game?

Well, if it was,
it didn't really work.

Are you free next Tuesday?

Yes.

Yes, I am.

Great.

You've been to Street
on Highland?

They have fantastic
appetizers.

Oh, my God.
I love appetizers.

I'm looking forward
to it.

Yeah.
You know what?

So am I.

♪ There's nothing
That we can't do ♪

♪ No