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1
00:00:04,570 --> 00:00:07,969
This is Captain Edward Penisi
to dispatch. You're a go.
2
00:00:07,970 --> 00:00:10,309
MAN: The Tacoma Fire Department
welcomes Ms. Parker's
3
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:12,959
fifth grade class from
Patterson Elementary School
4
00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:14,719
and Councilwoman Linda Price.
5
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,329
Yeah, that's you guys.
6
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:18,819
All right, kids, come on over here.
7
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,500
All right, first up... the fire pole.
8
00:00:21,501 --> 00:00:24,546
We slide down this when we're
ready to race off to a fire.
9
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:27,899
- [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- How you doing?
10
00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:30,290
Okay, it's important for
firefighters to always...
11
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,920
Hey, let me slide down
that pole, fire guy!
12
00:00:32,929 --> 00:00:34,972
Hunter... the kid from the well.
13
00:00:34,973 --> 00:00:36,199
How do I get up that pole?!
14
00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:37,550
- You don't.
- Okay, then.
15
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,869
Let's mess with the Dalmatian.
16
00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,769
We actually don't have one.
The Chief doesn't like dogs.
17
00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,519
That guy's a boner!
18
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,939
He still owes me 25 bucks and a vape!
19
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:48,009
Remember, Captain,
little Hunter is a hero.
20
00:00:48,010 --> 00:00:49,027
You're doing great.
21
00:00:49,028 --> 00:00:50,571
All right, come on,
everybody. Right this way.
22
00:00:50,572 --> 00:00:53,079
- They're all yours.
- All right, Cap, thank you.
23
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:56,109
Hey, guys. This is the engine truck.
24
00:00:56,110 --> 00:00:58,679
We use this on all of our house
calls, people get lock...
25
00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,499
Hey, everybody, this is the guy
26
00:01:00,500 --> 00:01:02,619
I kicked in the nuts in Episode 258:
27
00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:03,759
- The Sky Below.
- [LAUGHTER]
28
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,239
Well, someone's not gonna be keeping
29
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,129
their little helmet after the tour.
30
00:01:07,130 --> 00:01:10,479
And this is my ding dong!
31
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,800
Hey, buddy. You know, that
hose is very powerful.
32
00:01:13,803 --> 00:01:16,509
It shoots water at 400 PSI.
33
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:18,432
Now, do you know what PSI stands for?
34
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:22,144
It stands for "Corrupt
dem nuts, shorty."
35
00:01:22,145 --> 00:01:23,379
Come on, man.
36
00:01:23,380 --> 00:01:24,479
Oh, uh, one more photo by the truck.
37
00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,400
- Come on, everyone.
- Oh, yeah, sure, a picture.
38
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:28,730
Oh, not...
39
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:31,399
All right, over here. Welcome.
40
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:33,719
- My name is Granny Smith...
- Hey.
41
00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,699
... and I am the station medic,
42
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,919
and I'm also a firefighter,
so I help fight fires.
43
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,399
[CLUNK, WHIRRING]
44
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,619
Who charged that hose?
45
00:01:41,620 --> 00:01:43,319
Andy, did you close the
gate on that deck cannon?
46
00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,280
Going viral, bitches!
47
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:47,919
[ALL SCREAMING]
48
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Huh?! You want some?!
49
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:50,809
How about you?
50
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,758
- How about you?!
- [SCREAMING CONTINUES]
51
00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:54,343
- Who wants some?!
- Get down! Get down!
52
00:01:54,344 --> 00:01:55,809
- Oh, yeah!
- No!
53
00:01:55,810 --> 00:01:57,209
Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
54
00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:58,879
Oh! Whoa!
55
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:00,557
- Come here, you little brat.
- [GRUNTS]
56
00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:02,419
I'm pissed!
57
00:02:02,420 --> 00:02:04,080
All kids, cover your ears!
58
00:02:04,800 --> 00:02:08,349
You mother [BLEEP]
59
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:10,459
Your balls are mine!
60
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:14,196
And I'm gonna run them
over with my scooter!
61
00:02:14,197 --> 00:02:16,229
I guess I did forget to close the gate.
62
00:02:16,230 --> 00:02:17,240
Yeah.
63
00:02:17,250 --> 00:02:22,120
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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♪ ♪
65
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♪ Well, I'm hot blooded ♪
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♪ Check it and see ♪
67
00:02:30,560 --> 00:02:34,199
♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪
68
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♪ I'm hot blooded ♪
69
00:02:37,345 --> 00:02:39,589
- Oh! Whoa!
- Out the garage!
70
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,659
- [LAUGHTER]
- Subscribe! Subscribe!
71
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Subscribe! Subscribe! Subscribe!
72
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Oh, my God, man. I'm subscribing, dude.
73
00:02:45,130 --> 00:02:46,219
Don't subscribe to him.
74
00:02:46,220 --> 00:02:48,079
Hey, keep that shame helmet on, okay?
75
00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:49,269
- You wear it all week.
- Yeah.
76
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,219
Yeah, you messed up and
left the gate open, okay?
77
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:52,419
- Punishment for you.
- Boo, boo!
78
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:54,611
- Shame! Shame!
- I got it!
79
00:02:54,612 --> 00:02:56,569
- Morning.
- Hey, Chief.
80
00:02:56,570 --> 00:02:57,739
- Hey, good morning.
- Good morning.
81
00:02:57,740 --> 00:02:59,579
Myawani, put that shame helmet back on.
82
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,739
All week long.
83
00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:02,599
Okay, so it should come as no surprise
84
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,037
that Linda Price wants blood.
85
00:03:04,038 --> 00:03:06,719
Oh, well, I believe the TFD blood drive
86
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,549
falls on May 5th this year,
87
00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:11,289
so I'm happy to send a
flier to her office.
88
00:03:11,290 --> 00:03:13,714
Okay, that's not, uh...
89
00:03:13,715 --> 00:03:15,966
The Commissioner spent the
morning trying to talk her down.
90
00:03:15,967 --> 00:03:16,969
So we're off the hook.
91
00:03:16,970 --> 00:03:18,239
No, to appease her,
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00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,559
the station has been ordered to undergo
93
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:21,596
a mandatory training recertification.
94
00:03:21,597 --> 00:03:22,931
- What?
- Aww, boo!
95
00:03:22,932 --> 00:03:23,939
- The station?
- I just got...
96
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:24,949
I just got certified.
97
00:03:24,950 --> 00:03:26,939
- That includes captains.
- Double boo, that's it.
98
00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:27,969
Okay, sorry.
99
00:03:27,970 --> 00:03:29,799
The cert trainer will
be here this morning.
100
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,273
Enjoy your training day.
101
00:03:31,274 --> 00:03:32,941
Oh, Eddie. You'll be happy to hear
102
00:03:32,942 --> 00:03:35,610
the trainer is none other
than Wolf Boykins.
103
00:03:35,611 --> 00:03:37,154
Boykins? You got to be kidding me.
104
00:03:37,155 --> 00:03:38,321
Who is Wolf Boykins?
105
00:03:38,322 --> 00:03:39,919
The worst firefighter ever.
106
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,579
He went through Academy
with me and Terry.
107
00:03:41,580 --> 00:03:44,244
He's one of those guys who
teaches 'cause he can't do.
108
00:03:44,245 --> 00:03:45,537
Oh, like a captain.
109
00:03:45,538 --> 00:03:47,189
[LAUGHTER]
110
00:03:47,190 --> 00:03:49,666
- Ah! Hey, man, come on.
- I love this thing.
111
00:03:49,667 --> 00:03:51,059
You think the Captain busts balls.
112
00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:52,335
He was relentless on Wolf.
113
00:03:52,336 --> 00:03:54,009
- He deserved it.
- They always do, right, Eddie?
114
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,019
Yes, they do.
115
00:03:55,020 --> 00:03:57,069
You just remember... he
controls your certification,
116
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,339
so mind your manners, and be nice.
117
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,349
- Maybe.
- Wait,
118
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:01,739
Chief, don't you have to get certified?
119
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:03,609
No. Chiefs don't get certified.
120
00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:04,809
I'm a chief!
121
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:06,339
But Linda Price did give me
122
00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:07,739
my own pain-in-the-ass assignment.
123
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:09,978
I have to file a sensitivity
compliance report tomorrow.
124
00:04:09,979 --> 00:04:12,009
We should start by getting
softer toilet paper
125
00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,523
for the bathrooms, if I may.
126
00:04:13,524 --> 00:04:15,749
Yes, yes, I vote yes.
127
00:04:15,750 --> 00:04:17,839
That's not the sensitivity
I was talking about.
128
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,289
Now that we have a female firefighter,
129
00:04:19,290 --> 00:04:21,239
I have to go down the checklist
to make sure we comply.
130
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,908
I told you, no special treatment.
131
00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:24,868
Regardless, the place has
to be suitable for women.
132
00:04:24,869 --> 00:04:26,369
We need adequate facilities.
133
00:04:26,370 --> 00:04:27,829
No longer are we allowed to use
134
00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:29,998
improper gender-specific language.
135
00:04:29,999 --> 00:04:30,999
Like what?
136
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,229
I made a list...
137
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,839
"Things we are no
longer allowed to say."
138
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,209
From now on, we are
firefighters, not firemen.
139
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,500
- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, that's fair.
140
00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:39,219
- Fine.
- We can no longer call each other
141
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:40,550
pussies or douche bags.
142
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:43,595
I got called both those
names, so I'm happy.
143
00:04:43,596 --> 00:04:45,680
The hose nozzle will no
longer be called the knob.
144
00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:46,979
Aw, man.
145
00:04:46,980 --> 00:04:48,979
- Come on.
- What are we gonna call it?
146
00:04:48,980 --> 00:04:50,727
I mean, it's the knob.
147
00:04:50,728 --> 00:04:53,119
When we charge the line,
we no longer shout,
148
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:54,898
"Make the hose round and hard."
149
00:04:54,899 --> 00:04:56,441
- Aww, come on!
- That's the best one!
150
00:04:56,442 --> 00:04:58,929
And the person sliding down
the pole will no longer be
151
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,479
"polishing the pole."
152
00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,400
Can we even say "pole"? [LAUGHS]
153
00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,129
Actually, in the Academy,
154
00:05:04,130 --> 00:05:05,599
all the men were required to call it
155
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,080
the floor-to-floor conveyance device.
156
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,399
Oh. Seriously?
157
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,219
Seriously. So, no, you can't say "pole,"
158
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:14,229
but I still can.
159
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:16,279
- Oh.
- But, Chief, we can still use
160
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,160
that phrase periodically, though, right?
161
00:05:18,170 --> 00:05:20,659
Andy, you cannot say "periodically."
162
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:21,980
- Come on.
- Wha...
163
00:05:21,990 --> 00:05:23,359
Dude, times have changed.
164
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:26,019
Up in Olympia, they have
this Dalmatian named Spot.
165
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:27,980
Had to change the name 'cause
that's super inappropriate
166
00:05:27,990 --> 00:05:29,266
- to menstruating women.
- Mm.
167
00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:31,559
They renamed him, but
he wouldn't respond
168
00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,139
to anything else...
169
00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:34,396
so they had to put him down.
170
00:05:34,397 --> 00:05:35,519
- What?
- Krk!
171
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,540
[SIGHS]
172
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:41,699
They put the dog to sleep because...
173
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:44,260
because of what, women's
lib or something?
174
00:05:44,270 --> 00:05:45,909
But you got to get it, too, right?
175
00:05:45,910 --> 00:05:48,076
Yeah, remind me never to go to Olympia.
176
00:05:48,077 --> 00:05:49,079
All right, enough of this.
177
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,799
I'm gonna post this list
out in the break room.
178
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:51,872
Add to it if you want.
179
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:54,374
In the meantime, have a great
training day, everybody.
180
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:57,049
♪ ♪
181
00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:58,119
Mm-hmm. I like it.
182
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,920
The dog... that's a nice touch.
183
00:05:59,922 --> 00:06:01,550
- You're good, noob. You're good.
- What can I say?
184
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,000
It's the Penisi in me.
185
00:06:03,700 --> 00:06:05,590
All right, easy on these guys.
186
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:07,929
This cert training's gonna be busted.
187
00:06:07,930 --> 00:06:09,320
What a pain in the ass.
188
00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:11,869
Humping the gear, taking the
test, racing the clock...
189
00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:13,669
I mean, we're seasoned veterans.
190
00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:15,145
- Yes, we are.
- Let's make it interesting.
191
00:06:15,146 --> 00:06:16,809
How about this?
192
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,339
Person who tests the highest
193
00:06:18,340 --> 00:06:19,774
wins the Fart Jar.
194
00:06:19,775 --> 00:06:22,279
- Mmm.
- Ooh!
195
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,380
Right? Want to try it?
196
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,739
Fart Jar, everyone, okay?
197
00:06:25,740 --> 00:06:27,032
- [LAUGHS]
- [FARTS]
198
00:06:27,033 --> 00:06:28,039
[CHUCKLES]
199
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,019
My deposit for the week.
200
00:06:30,020 --> 00:06:31,299
- Here we are.
- Yeah, see, Granny,
201
00:06:31,300 --> 00:06:33,030
that's why I always carry
singles. [CLICKS TONGUE]
202
00:06:33,039 --> 00:06:35,413
No, you carry 'em 'cause
you hang out in strip clubs.
203
00:06:35,414 --> 00:06:38,200
- I guess.
- Wow, that is a lot of farts.
204
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,159
Oh, you think this is a lot?
205
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:41,499
This is just the tip.
206
00:06:41,500 --> 00:06:43,699
Hold on. Look at this. Bam.
207
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,499
- Yeah. Hello.
- Boom.
208
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,551
- Boop!
- Oh, yeah.
209
00:06:46,552 --> 00:06:48,699
- Bong.
- Wait.
210
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,013
- November?
- Wow.
211
00:06:50,014 --> 00:06:51,932
You guys have had a big year.
212
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:54,351
It's a lot. [LAUGHS]
213
00:06:54,352 --> 00:06:56,649
Hey, just so you guys know, I'm
still in top training form
214
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,481
from the Academy, so you guys are toast.
215
00:06:59,482 --> 00:07:02,651
Are women even eligible? I
mean, do you even fart?
216
00:07:02,652 --> 00:07:05,589
[LAUGHTER]
217
00:07:05,590 --> 00:07:07,990
MYAWANI: I think they're like
Barbies. They don't have butts.
218
00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,119
How is that offensive?
219
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:12,389
If you don't know it's inappropriate,
220
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,788
it's even more offensive.
221
00:07:13,789 --> 00:07:14,789
Oh, is that so?
222
00:07:14,790 --> 00:07:17,207
[ALARM BLARING]
223
00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:21,169
♪ ♪
224
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:23,469
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
225
00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:26,679
[BLOWING CONTINUES] Stop! Stop, stop,
226
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:29,139
stop, stop, stop.
227
00:07:29,140 --> 00:07:30,149
[BLOWING STOPS]
228
00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:32,060
Just with my naked eye,
229
00:07:32,070 --> 00:07:34,419
I can spot seven things
you guys did wrong
230
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,219
before you even rolled
out of the garage,
231
00:07:36,220 --> 00:07:38,349
so it's gonna be a long day.
232
00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,289
Everybody, this is Wolf Boykins.
233
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:42,459
Wolf Boykins, your
certification trainer.
234
00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:45,318
Captain, long time no
"Peni-see." [PENISI]
235
00:07:45,319 --> 00:07:46,319
[CHUCKLES]
236
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,487
[CHUCKLES] Good one.
237
00:07:47,488 --> 00:07:50,569
This... I love it... not regulation.
238
00:07:50,570 --> 00:07:52,160
Lose it.
239
00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,179
- Hey!
- Hey!
240
00:07:53,180 --> 00:07:54,980
Wolf Boykins, how the hell are ya?
241
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:57,109
Eh, okay.
242
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:58,169
Good to see you, Chief.
243
00:07:58,170 --> 00:07:59,779
Good to see you. We're
excited to have you.
244
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:01,039
As a matter of fact, the Captain
245
00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:02,379
was just telling me how excited he is.
246
00:08:02,380 --> 00:08:03,979
- Tell him.
- I... I said that.
247
00:08:03,980 --> 00:08:05,509
I said I'm really excited
to see Wolf today.
248
00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:07,249
Well, that's great, 'cause
the word on the street
249
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,740
is you guys are a bunch of hosers...
250
00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:12,020
of little kids and one
unlucky councilwoman.
251
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:15,789
So, I'm here because you...
guys... are... slop-py.
252
00:08:15,790 --> 00:08:18,499
Pbbt! But I'm the napkin, okay?
253
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,129
So welcome to the wolves den.
254
00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,180
Awrooooo!
255
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:24,199
Hey, why don't we all
do it just to kick off
256
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,469
the session right, huh?
257
00:08:25,470 --> 00:08:27,109
On three... One, two, three...
258
00:08:27,110 --> 00:08:28,120
Awroo!
259
00:08:28,870 --> 00:08:30,405
- Awroo.
- Awoo.
260
00:08:30,406 --> 00:08:31,409
I promise you, it's not gonna be weird
261
00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:32,809
if everybody does it, okay?
262
00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:34,139
Awrooo!
263
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:35,940
- Wooooo.
- Huh?
264
00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:40,660
♪ ♪
265
00:08:40,666 --> 00:08:43,449
[HUMMING]
266
00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:45,360
Bathroom sensitivity compliance.
267
00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:47,989
Okay.
268
00:08:47,990 --> 00:08:50,540
Oh, look at this crap.
269
00:08:51,190 --> 00:08:52,799
Grandcougar? That's disgusting.
270
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,846
What's wrong with these guys?
271
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:55,160
Naked Ass Girls?
272
00:08:55,180 --> 00:08:56,719
Oh, man.
273
00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,600
Oh, shut up.
274
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,130
"Hot Grill on Grill Action"...
275
00:09:02,140 --> 00:09:04,269
Summer recipes, I love it.
276
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:06,279
- Uh-huh.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
277
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,419
Oh. [CHUCKLES]
278
00:09:07,420 --> 00:09:09,235
I always pegged you for
a European tits guy.
279
00:09:09,236 --> 00:09:10,679
I was reading an article.
280
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,155
Yeah, right on.
281
00:09:12,156 --> 00:09:13,364
What are you doing in here?
282
00:09:13,365 --> 00:09:15,479
[CHUCKLES] Going to the bathroom.
283
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,749
This is the men's room.
284
00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:19,034
Well, when we get a women's
room, let me know.
285
00:09:19,035 --> 00:09:20,519
Okay, you know what? New rule.
286
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,665
From now on, you use
the Chief's restroom
287
00:09:22,666 --> 00:09:24,429
until we make other arrangements.
288
00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:26,659
Dad, I said no special treatment.
289
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:28,959
I'm not gonna share a bathroom with you.
290
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,673
The guys would never let
me hear the end of that.
291
00:09:30,674 --> 00:09:32,959
Hey, I'm the Chief, and
that's the way it's gonna be.
292
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:34,919
Fine, you want to do
everything up to compliance?
293
00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:37,514
Then you have to install a
tampon dispenser in there.
294
00:09:37,515 --> 00:09:39,265
What, like one of those
coin-operated things?
295
00:09:39,266 --> 00:09:41,017
And will you put those
menstrual cups in?
296
00:09:41,018 --> 00:09:42,435
- Those are great.
- I don't even know what that is.
297
00:09:42,436 --> 00:09:43,937
Oh, and we also need a bidet.
298
00:09:43,938 --> 00:09:45,109
Like the water jet thingy?
299
00:09:45,110 --> 00:09:47,049
They're regulation now.
They're in all women's rooms.
300
00:09:47,050 --> 00:09:48,059
Where do you get a bidet?
301
00:09:48,060 --> 00:09:49,640
Home Depot.
302
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:51,500
And don't worry. I'll bring my own porn.
303
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:53,989
Not in my bathroom!
304
00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:56,259
- [SIGHS]
- All right, here we go.
305
00:09:56,260 --> 00:09:59,279
[STAMMERING] Wh-Wh-Whoa.
306
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,100
[GRUNTING] All right, what the...
307
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:03,130
Mnh. [GROANS]
308
00:10:04,208 --> 00:10:05,869
- Cool suspenders.
- Thanks.
309
00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:07,299
They're a gift from Rudy Giuliani.
310
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,199
- America's Mayor.
- Oh, yeah, right.
311
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:10,739
I forgot how connected you were.
312
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,139
Oh, my gosh,
313
00:10:12,140 --> 00:10:14,175
thanks for joining us,
McConky. What an honor.
314
00:10:14,176 --> 00:10:15,844
Okay, now, listen.
315
00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:17,609
A firefighter's turnout gear
316
00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:19,430
is their most important
piece of equipment,
317
00:10:19,431 --> 00:10:21,516
okay? Putting it on
quickly is essential.
318
00:10:21,517 --> 00:10:24,644
So, first up, the 39-second drill.
319
00:10:24,645 --> 00:10:28,022
You guys have 39 seconds to
get into your full gear.
320
00:10:28,023 --> 00:10:30,959
Until you get 39 seconds,
you are not certified.
321
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,699
My personal best is seven seconds.
322
00:10:32,700 --> 00:10:33,862
I don't expect you to hit that.
323
00:10:33,863 --> 00:10:35,822
All the gear... everything...
seven seconds?
324
00:10:35,823 --> 00:10:37,620
Yeah, maybe six. I...
I wasn't... you know.
325
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:39,619
Man, I bet everybody here
326
00:10:39,620 --> 00:10:41,779
would love to see you do
that in seven seconds.
327
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:43,049
- Yeah.
- That'd be great.
328
00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,909
I'm sure you all would.
I'm sure you all would.
329
00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:47,208
But it's not about me.
It's about you guys today.
330
00:10:47,209 --> 00:10:48,779
Though this does remind me of the time
331
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:51,255
when my SCBA malfunctioned
in the middle of this fire...
332
00:10:51,256 --> 00:10:52,340
And go!
333
00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,399
- Oh!
- Go!
334
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,840
[ALL GRUNTING]
335
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:58,719
Tick, tick, tick...
336
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,860
♪ ♪
337
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:04,989
♪ ♪
338
00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:06,129
And time!
339
00:11:06,130 --> 00:11:07,270
[GROANS]
340
00:11:07,271 --> 00:11:10,106
Not bad, McConky... 32 seconds.
341
00:11:10,107 --> 00:11:11,858
The rest of you clowns fail.
342
00:11:11,859 --> 00:11:13,233
While you were getting zipped up,
343
00:11:13,234 --> 00:11:15,460
Little Jimmy's wooden
leg burst into flames.
344
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,653
I'm sorry, he's dead.
345
00:11:16,654 --> 00:11:18,939
So we're all gonna do it
again except McConky.
346
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:19,950
[WHISTLES]
347
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,860
Next!
348
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,159
Uh, steady, Penisi... you wish.
349
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,170
Next!
350
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,839
What, did you stop for
a taco halfway down?
351
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:30,860
Next!
352
00:11:31,660 --> 00:11:33,129
How's your pole technique?
353
00:11:33,130 --> 00:11:34,639
- Ike.
- Oh...
354
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:35,999
We have already covered this, buddy.
355
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,135
No, I know. I... Look...
Hmm... [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
356
00:11:38,136 --> 00:11:40,040
I mean, how is your, uh,
357
00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:42,130
floor-to-floor conveyance technique?
358
00:11:42,139 --> 00:11:44,391
Relax. I'm not gonna
report you to FOOFA.
359
00:11:44,392 --> 00:11:45,579
FOO... FOOFA?
360
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:48,380
The Female Order Of
Firefighters Association?
361
00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,271
What are... That's a thing?
362
00:11:50,272 --> 00:11:52,819
It is, but you need at
least five infractions
363
00:11:52,820 --> 00:11:54,059
before FOOFA sanctions you.
364
00:11:54,060 --> 00:11:56,019
And you only have four, so, we're cool.
365
00:11:56,020 --> 00:11:57,029
How...
366
00:11:57,030 --> 00:11:58,299
- Crystal? Crystal!
- Okay...
367
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,110
- Crystal, you're up!
- 'Cause I'm trying... oh, man.
368
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,859
- Crystal!
- Wait, what are sanctions?
369
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:03,100
Crystal!!
370
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:05,249
Quit with the yackety-yak,
okay? You're up.
371
00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:06,779
Okay, I got to go.
372
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:08,160
Don't lose focus.
373
00:12:08,170 --> 00:12:11,709
The problem with losing focus
is you can start to lose focus,
374
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:15,713
and of the thing you tan to
take the Australian table wine.
375
00:12:15,714 --> 00:12:16,719
Oh!
376
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:18,841
- Whoa! Hey, hey!
- Oh! Oh!
377
00:12:18,842 --> 00:12:19,968
Take his belt off. Take his belt off.
378
00:12:19,969 --> 00:12:21,199
[GRUNTS]
379
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,679
And I'm dead!
380
00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,264
- Ah.
- Oh, are you kidding me?
381
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:26,432
A firefighter has got to
be ready for anything,
382
00:12:26,433 --> 00:12:29,519
including their instructor
having a seizure.
383
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:30,679
That is a fail.
384
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,019
Well... Well, that's not
cool. That's not cool.
385
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,620
♪ ♪
386
00:12:36,550 --> 00:12:39,639
- _
- Ah. Some new additions.
387
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,540
Ass-fixiate.
388
00:12:41,550 --> 00:12:43,074
I don't think you spell it like that.
389
00:12:43,075 --> 00:12:45,559
Wet.
390
00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:46,744
What's wrong with that?
391
00:12:46,745 --> 00:12:48,079
- Hey, Chief?
- Yeah.
392
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:50,160
I'd like to file an official complaint
393
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,709
under the new sensitivity
compliance guidelines.
394
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:53,760
You want to file a complaint?
395
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:55,739
Yes, sir. Against Wolf Boykins.
396
00:12:55,740 --> 00:12:58,289
- For what?
- He said I look like Baby Godzilla.
397
00:12:58,290 --> 00:13:00,599
[CHUCKLES]
398
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,176
- You're serious?
- Yes.
399
00:13:02,177 --> 00:13:03,919
- Okay, okay.
- It was in front of everyone,
400
00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,399
and everyone laughed,
401
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,540
and it made me feel uncomfortable.
402
00:13:06,550 --> 00:13:07,620
Hmm.
403
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,562
♪ ♪
404
00:13:11,570 --> 00:13:13,880
♪ ♪
405
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:17,900
His real name is Minya...
Baby Godzilla's real name.
406
00:13:17,901 --> 00:13:19,059
Hmm?
407
00:13:19,060 --> 00:13:20,069
Thanks, Chief.
408
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:21,240
You got it.
409
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,660
Do you look like Baby Godzilla?
410
00:13:23,700 --> 00:13:25,319
What? No!
411
00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:27,580
[SIGHS]
412
00:13:28,470 --> 00:13:30,869
Hm.
413
00:13:30,870 --> 00:13:32,080
Mm...
414
00:13:33,542 --> 00:13:38,130
♪ ♪
415
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:42,149
♪ ♪
416
00:13:42,150 --> 00:13:43,889
BOYKINS: Can anybody
tell me the three things
417
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,289
Penisi's doing wrong right now?
418
00:13:45,290 --> 00:13:46,804
Somebody, please? Anybody?
419
00:13:46,805 --> 00:13:50,159
Smith, what's the most important
part of mating a hydrant?
420
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:51,184
- Uh...
- Fail.
421
00:13:51,185 --> 00:13:52,229
Dah!
422
00:13:52,230 --> 00:13:55,688
My baby! My baby! A dingo ate my baby!
423
00:13:55,689 --> 00:13:57,029
- Not gonna work, Wolf.
- Oh, look.
424
00:13:57,030 --> 00:13:58,399
Who dropped their $20 million bill?
425
00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,769
- Not working, Wolf.
- [AIR HORN BLOWS]
426
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:01,850
- Hey, hey!
- Hey! Hey!
427
00:14:01,860 --> 00:14:04,650
- Come on!
- And that is a fail.
428
00:14:04,656 --> 00:14:06,379
You see your crew?
429
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,979
They're all relying on you for water,
430
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,039
but, nope, now they're dead.
431
00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:10,109
Come on, Wolf.
432
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,019
'Cause someone had an
air horn at a fire?
433
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,414
You know, it's funny bring that up.
434
00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:16,449
Back in '09, we had a fire
and very low water pressure.
435
00:14:16,450 --> 00:14:18,389
So here I am. I'm up on the 60th floor,
436
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:19,962
and I'm pulling down
ceilings, you know...
437
00:14:19,963 --> 00:14:21,659
Oh, really? That's weird, 'cause
there's no building in Tacoma
438
00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,210
that's taller than 30 stories.
439
00:14:23,217 --> 00:14:24,589
What's that, now?
440
00:14:24,590 --> 00:14:25,620
What I'm saying is you
couldn't have been
441
00:14:25,630 --> 00:14:27,279
on the 60th floor, 'cause
there's nothing in Tacoma
442
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:28,329
that's even half that height.
443
00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:31,182
- Ooh!
- Maybe I wasn't in Tacoma.
444
00:14:31,183 --> 00:14:33,869
Oh, so you worked for a
different fire department?
445
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,269
I'm confused, 'cause your story's
446
00:14:35,270 --> 00:14:37,100
just kind of got some holes in it.
447
00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,460
It never stops with
you, does it, Penisi?
448
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,193
You never know when to hold that
pretty little tongue of yours.
449
00:14:42,194 --> 00:14:44,099
Well, guess what. Now
it's gonna come back,
450
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,360
and it's gonna hurt your whole crew.
451
00:14:45,364 --> 00:14:46,904
Exactly how do you mean that, sir?
452
00:14:46,905 --> 00:14:49,119
You want this crew certified? Okay.
453
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,949
Well, we'll be here all
day and all night.
454
00:14:51,950 --> 00:14:53,371
'Cause it's my game now.
455
00:14:53,372 --> 00:14:55,559
And it just went into the fifth quarter.
456
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:56,839
The fuck are you talking about?
457
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,650
Wolfball.
458
00:15:01,672 --> 00:15:04,229
Okay, bunk room privacy.
459
00:15:04,230 --> 00:15:06,169
[CHUCKLES]
460
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,779
Great. Easy peasy.
461
00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:10,680
I can't take this guy anymore.
You got to get in there.
462
00:15:10,681 --> 00:15:12,239
You're pushing his buttons.
That's what you do.
463
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,683
I'm not. The guy's full of shit.
464
00:15:13,684 --> 00:15:15,849
I get it. Eddie Penisi
doesn't suffer fools.
465
00:15:15,850 --> 00:15:18,909
But, hey, sometimes you got
to suck it up and apologize.
466
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,395
I'm not apologizing to this guy.
467
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:22,079
He controls your certification.
468
00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,234
Just apologize.
469
00:15:23,235 --> 00:15:25,189
And not one of those
half-assed apologies you do.
470
00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:26,519
You know, like, the...
471
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:27,612
[GRUFF VOICE] "I'm sorry."
472
00:15:27,613 --> 00:15:28,999
Oh, that's how I say I'm sorry?
473
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,009
[NORMAL VOICE] Yeah,
that's how you say it.
474
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,529
[GRUFF VOICE] "I'm sorry"...
that's what I do?
475
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:34,090
- [GRUFF VOICE] I'm sorry.
- [NORMAL VOICE] Okay, check this out.
476
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:35,739
Sorry.
477
00:15:35,740 --> 00:15:37,489
[SCOFFS] Totally insincere.
478
00:15:37,490 --> 00:15:38,499
I don't believe it for a second.
479
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,020
- You do it.
- All right, watch, ready?
480
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,109
I'm sorry.
481
00:15:42,110 --> 00:15:43,119
The worst.
482
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,797
- What are you talking about?
- The worst. Also, fake.
483
00:15:44,798 --> 00:15:46,119
- Check this out.
- [SOFT MUSIC PLAYS]
484
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:47,133
Sorry.
485
00:15:47,134 --> 00:15:48,339
I'm really sorry.
486
00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:49,940
I never meant to hurt you.
487
00:15:49,950 --> 00:15:51,345
I swear, I'm so sorry.
488
00:15:51,346 --> 00:15:52,749
Straight up, I'm sorry.
489
00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:54,600
Don't you blame yourself.
490
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:55,766
I did it. I'm sorry.
491
00:15:55,767 --> 00:15:58,186
Holy shit, man. I... I am so sorry.
492
00:15:58,187 --> 00:15:59,619
How could I? I'm so sorry.
493
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,272
- It's my fault.
- I didn't even think about you.
494
00:16:01,273 --> 00:16:02,819
- It's my fault.
- I'm so sorry!
495
00:16:02,820 --> 00:16:04,859
I'm sorry. I'm fuckin' sorry.
496
00:16:04,860 --> 00:16:06,699
Come here.
497
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,699
[SIGHS]
498
00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:09,989
I'm sorry.
499
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:11,260
Hey, um...
500
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,530
What'd you guys do to
each other? [CHUCKLES]
501
00:16:14,536 --> 00:16:15,569
What is it, Ike?
502
00:16:15,570 --> 00:16:17,079
Uh, W-Wolf's ready for us,
503
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,239
but... but just work this out.
504
00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:21,639
I mean, you got time. I'm so sorry.
505
00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:24,040
I shouldn't have barged
in... Sorry. I'm sorry.
506
00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:27,280
- All right, come on. Let's go.
- All right.
507
00:16:29,885 --> 00:16:30,959
Oh, Chief, good.
508
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,199
Wolf, hey, listen,
509
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,859
the Captain has something
he'd like to say to you.
510
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:35,059
Well, I have something to say to you.
511
00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,307
It's time for the agility test.
512
00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,719
Cool. Cap, go ahead.
513
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,400
Line it up.
514
00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:41,399
Oh, you know what? Pretend I'm not here.
515
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,599
- Go ahead.
- No, you, line it up.
516
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,690
You're doing it, too.
517
00:16:44,691 --> 00:16:48,027
[CHUCKLES] Uh, I'm the Chief.
518
00:16:48,028 --> 00:16:50,539
And I need to certify everyone, m'kay?
519
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:52,669
Now, I've let you slide... no more.
520
00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,784
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
521
00:16:54,785 --> 00:16:57,679
Listen, Wolf, uh, I have a
sensitivity compliance report
522
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,209
I need to file with the
Commissioner's office
523
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:00,359
by EOD, so...
524
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,820
Ooh, EOD, mmm, you must be a BFD.
525
00:17:04,820 --> 00:17:06,019
Well, I tell you what.
526
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,519
You're not gonna have a lot
of time to fill out forms
527
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,779
when you're spending a
month in my boot camp,
528
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,460
AKA Campo de Lobo.
529
00:17:12,470 --> 00:17:15,580
Mm? That is, unless you think...
530
00:17:18,170 --> 00:17:20,560
maybe you can't pass the test.
531
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:23,509
♪ ♪
532
00:17:23,510 --> 00:17:25,269
[SIGHS]
533
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:26,600
You ready for this, Chief?
534
00:17:27,620 --> 00:17:28,809
Hold on.
535
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,940
[GRUNTING]
536
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,249
What is this?
537
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:33,779
Oh, geez. Okay.
538
00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:36,239
Dense baby dummy. 50 pounds.
539
00:17:36,240 --> 00:17:38,899
Carry it up the stairs
for training purposes.
540
00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:40,496
You got 30 seconds to get up there,
541
00:17:40,497 --> 00:17:42,319
ring that bell, and get back down.
542
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:43,659
- And go!
- You got it, Chief.
543
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:44,789
[ALL CHEERING]
544
00:17:44,790 --> 00:17:47,003
[GRUNTING]
545
00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:48,929
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
546
00:17:48,930 --> 00:17:50,298
[GRUNTING]
547
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:53,269
♪ ♪
548
00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:54,599
[BELL RINGS]
549
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:56,799
[PANTING]
550
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,809
[STOPWATCH BEEPS]
551
00:17:57,810 --> 00:17:58,819
- Oh!
- [SIGHS]
552
00:17:58,820 --> 00:18:00,890
Not too bad... 45 seconds.
553
00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:02,279
I guess we'll have to go again.
554
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,609
And go!
555
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,719
- Yay, let's go, Chief!
- Come on! Whoo!
556
00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:07,679
- Come on, Chief!
- [ALL CHEERING]
557
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,358
[BELL RINGS]
558
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,777
[GRUNTING]
559
00:18:11,778 --> 00:18:13,362
[STOPWATCH BEEPS]
560
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:16,419
- Oh, 40 seconds.
- All right!
561
00:18:16,420 --> 00:18:18,229
You're getting closer.
562
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,919
Tell you what. I'll give
you one more chance.
563
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:21,120
And go!
564
00:18:21,121 --> 00:18:22,246
[ALL CHEERING]
565
00:18:22,247 --> 00:18:24,169
[GRUNTING]
566
00:18:24,170 --> 00:18:25,240
[BELL RINGS]
567
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,336
- [STOPWATCH BEEPS]
- Aww,
568
00:18:28,337 --> 00:18:29,879
50 seconds.
569
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:32,259
Someone's going the wrong direction.
570
00:18:32,260 --> 00:18:34,279
Tell you what. I'll let
you catch your breath,
571
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:38,399
and then I'm gonna give
you one more chance.
572
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,580
- [SMOOCHES]
- [PANTING]
573
00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:43,719
All right, so I should I apologize now?
574
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:46,139
How you want me to do it?
Like, I'm really sorry.
575
00:18:46,140 --> 00:18:47,320
I'm so sorry.
576
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:50,050
- Fuck this guy.
- Yeah!
577
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,529
Now, listen!
578
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:56,129
Take the ladder out of
the back of the truck,
579
00:18:56,130 --> 00:18:58,991
put it against the wall, climb
to the top in 20 seconds.
580
00:18:58,992 --> 00:19:00,259
Piece of cake, right?
581
00:19:00,260 --> 00:19:02,539
Well, let me tell you one
of my own little ladder
582
00:19:02,540 --> 00:19:04,009
experience stories, okay?
583
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,139
Back in 2006,
584
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,899
we had the Milton Street
fires. Remember that?
585
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:08,409
My truck was the first one on the scene,
586
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:10,149
of course, so what do I do?
587
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,609
I scale the aerial, right?
588
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:12,739
Get a view of the fourth floor.
589
00:19:12,740 --> 00:19:15,019
There I see a woman
with not one, not two,
590
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,579
not three, maybe four babies,
all of them infants.
591
00:19:17,580 --> 00:19:19,540
She was breastfeeding. It was crazy.
592
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:21,889
Hey, wh... what... who's doing that?
593
00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,160
Hey!
594
00:19:23,180 --> 00:19:27,080
Hey, hey... Hey, who's doing that?
595
00:19:27,090 --> 00:19:28,499
McConky, okay.
596
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:30,981
M-McConky, let me down! Let me down!
597
00:19:30,982 --> 00:19:33,818
A firefighter has to be ready
for anything, right, Wolf?
598
00:19:33,819 --> 00:19:35,528
Shut up, McConky. I'm afraid of heights.
599
00:19:35,529 --> 00:19:37,612
I remember that from the Academy.
600
00:19:37,613 --> 00:19:38,799
Put me down right now, you...
601
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,179
you shit pussy fuck grabbing
602
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,579
leather scratching motherfucker!
603
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,536
[HIGH-PITCHED] McConky! Let me down!
604
00:19:43,537 --> 00:19:45,659
He's crying like a little girl!
605
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,519
[CHUCKLES] I mean, like
a genderless creature.
606
00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:50,540
He's crying like a genderless creature.
607
00:19:50,544 --> 00:19:52,589
Where's your dense baby now, Wolf?
608
00:19:52,590 --> 00:19:54,400
[NORMAL VOICE] Fail, fail, fail!
609
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:55,798
I'm calling Linda Price!
610
00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:57,259
I can't hear him up there.
What's he saying?
611
00:19:57,260 --> 00:19:59,883
I think he's saying no one's
gonna win the Fart Jar.
612
00:19:59,884 --> 00:20:02,700
I'll see you motherfuckers
at Campo de Lobo!
613
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:05,279
[HIGH-PITCHED] McConky! Let me down!
614
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,960
Eddie can't control himself.
615
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,436
Eddie doesn't suffer fools.
616
00:20:08,437 --> 00:20:09,729
Eddie's a loose cannon.
617
00:20:09,730 --> 00:20:11,981
I don't know what happened.
Something just came over me.
618
00:20:11,982 --> 00:20:13,239
Yeah, well, from now on,
619
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,359
I should be allowed
unlimited wise-assery.
620
00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:17,360
You're right. You are right.
621
00:20:17,370 --> 00:20:19,280
You know what? Hey, a firefighter
622
00:20:19,281 --> 00:20:20,364
does not behave like that.
623
00:20:20,365 --> 00:20:22,575
Now we have to spend a
month with that jack hole.
624
00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:24,689
Honestly, I am sorry.
625
00:20:24,690 --> 00:20:26,200
Wait a second. That was a good one.
626
00:20:26,210 --> 00:20:28,019
- I believe that "I'm sorry."
- I meant it.
627
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,219
I got to tell you, it was pretty funny
628
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,540
seeing that guy up on
the ladder though, huh?
629
00:20:30,550 --> 00:20:32,668
I know. A firefighter
that's afraid of heights?
630
00:20:32,669 --> 00:20:33,829
Whaaat?
631
00:20:33,830 --> 00:20:35,839
[LAUGHTER]
632
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,096
- Yeah...
- Oh, man.
633
00:20:44,097 --> 00:20:46,891
[ALL SIGHING]
634
00:20:46,892 --> 00:20:48,179
[CHUCKLES]
635
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:51,020
Well, I'm gonna go file
that sensitivity report.
636
00:20:51,021 --> 00:20:53,449
Camp with that asshole's gonna suck!
637
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:56,180
Well, my other job takes
up all my free time.
638
00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:57,540
Don't know what I'm gonna tell them.
639
00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:58,719
- [ALARM BLARING]
- DISPATCHER: MVA...
640
00:20:58,720 --> 00:20:59,990
Rome and Anderson Street.
641
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,570
Engine 24 rescue. Medical
personnel required.
642
00:21:02,574 --> 00:21:04,074
Right around the corner. Let's hit it.
643
00:21:04,075 --> 00:21:05,910
♪ ♪
644
00:21:05,911 --> 00:21:08,459
[SIREN WAILS]
645
00:21:08,460 --> 00:21:10,929
♪ ♪
646
00:21:10,930 --> 00:21:12,260
Holy shit, it's Wolf!
647
00:21:12,270 --> 00:21:13,339
Hey, do you know your name?
648
00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:16,459
W-Wolfgang Harold Boykins III.
649
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,599
- Do you know where you are?
- In the Wolf-mobile.
650
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,591
Hold on, he's doing it
again. It's another ruse.
651
00:21:20,592 --> 00:21:21,899
I don't think so, Cap.
652
00:21:21,900 --> 00:21:24,011
He's crying Wolf, literally.
653
00:21:24,012 --> 00:21:25,721
[SCREAMING]
654
00:21:25,722 --> 00:21:26,729
Cap, he's hurt.
655
00:21:26,730 --> 00:21:30,976
So v-v-very c-c-cold.
656
00:21:30,977 --> 00:21:33,619
Oh, I got the AC on.
657
00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:35,040
Check the blood. It's fake.
658
00:21:35,050 --> 00:21:36,941
SMITH: Dude, he has a pole
going through his body.
659
00:21:36,942 --> 00:21:39,861
Come on. Oops, no, okay,
that's real blood.
660
00:21:39,862 --> 00:21:41,679
Ike, call an ambulance.
661
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,029
Uh, we need an ambulance on site.
662
00:21:43,030 --> 00:21:45,574
Victim has a fence pole...
err, uh, a fence...
663
00:21:45,575 --> 00:21:46,700
a... a fence supportive device.
664
00:21:46,701 --> 00:21:48,994
Don't report me to FOOFA,
okay? I'm trying to work here.
665
00:21:48,995 --> 00:21:50,569
Cut the shit and just say it, Ike.
666
00:21:50,570 --> 00:21:51,779
I made FOOFA up.
667
00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,979
Victim has double-penetration
from a stiff pole,
668
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:55,839
causing a deep gash
and heavy blood flow.
669
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,280
There, I said it.
670
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,630
I can't believe you made that up!
671
00:21:59,631 --> 00:22:01,639
- [SIREN CHIRPS]
- If I don't make it, Granny,
672
00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:03,959
I want you to have my
Barry Manilow records.
673
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:04,969
Fuck.
674
00:22:04,970 --> 00:22:07,219
Maybe this is just the morphine talking,
675
00:22:07,220 --> 00:22:10,140
but consider yourselves all passed.
676
00:22:10,141 --> 00:22:12,183
- You get that?
- Oh, yeah, Cap.
677
00:22:12,184 --> 00:22:15,239
Young McConky here is the
number-one trainee today.
678
00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,540
- What?!
- You get that?
679
00:22:16,570 --> 00:22:19,483
You know, you kind of remind me
of a young me when I was me.
680
00:22:19,484 --> 00:22:20,985
[CHUCKLES, GROANS]
681
00:22:20,986 --> 00:22:23,069
You know, it's funny.
When I was a rookie,
682
00:22:23,070 --> 00:22:27,209
we got a call to the zoo about
a lion that had escaped,
683
00:22:27,210 --> 00:22:31,059
and... and the lion had purple
wings and braided hair...
684
00:22:31,060 --> 00:22:32,879
Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on.
685
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,540
Hey, Wolfie, no hard feelings, okay?
686
00:22:34,550 --> 00:22:36,219
I just wanted to say,
687
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:38,010
this pole's a real nice fit on you.
688
00:22:38,020 --> 00:22:39,540
You look like an asshole Popsicle.
689
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,419
Okay.
690
00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:44,592
I have to get the last word in.
691
00:22:44,593 --> 00:22:45,919
What'd you say to him?
692
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:46,939
I told him I was really sorry.
693
00:22:46,940 --> 00:22:49,220
Good for you, Eddie. Good for you.
694
00:22:49,980 --> 00:22:51,719
- Come on.
- Looks like those Fart Jars
695
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:52,739
are mine, fellas.
696
00:22:52,740 --> 00:22:54,779
Well, I know somebody that's
buying us drinks tonight.
697
00:22:54,780 --> 00:22:57,260
Deal, and I know just the perfect place.
698
00:22:57,270 --> 00:22:58,279
Ah!
699
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,879
Well, I know how much you
guys love strip clubs,
700
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,694
so the least I could do
is buy you a drink here.
701
00:23:03,695 --> 00:23:05,379
This is super inappropriate.
702
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:06,655
Yeah, way over the line.
703
00:23:06,656 --> 00:23:07,669
[LAUGHTER]
704
00:23:07,670 --> 00:23:10,119
EMCEE: Ladies and gentlemen...
705
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:12,659
please welcome to the stage...
706
00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:14,579
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
707
00:23:14,580 --> 00:23:17,082
Crystal Hose!
708
00:23:17,083 --> 00:23:18,929
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
709
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:20,260
Yes!
710
00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:24,529
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
711
00:23:24,530 --> 00:23:27,176
Here he comes!
712
00:23:27,177 --> 00:23:28,539
- Oh, boy.
- What's up, guys?
713
00:23:28,540 --> 00:23:30,635
- What's up, dude?
- Hey, buddy.
714
00:23:30,636 --> 00:23:31,659
Kitchen closes at 10:00,
715
00:23:31,660 --> 00:23:33,509
but I'll tell Fernando if
you want something, okay?
716
00:23:33,510 --> 00:23:35,579
- Really?
- Yeah. I'll be about 20 minutes.
717
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:36,739
Whoo!
718
00:23:36,740 --> 00:23:40,349
[CHEERING CONTINUES]
719
00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:43,279
Yeah! I've never been so proud of you.
720
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,289
Thanks, Lucy.
721
00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:46,139
Whoo! Man, it's kind of awesome knowing
722
00:23:46,140 --> 00:23:47,600
where Ike gets all his singles from.
723
00:23:48,890 --> 00:23:51,075
Wait, you guys have never
seen Ike dance here before?
724
00:23:51,076 --> 00:23:52,899
- Why would we?
- Because he's your friend.
725
00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:55,039
Dude, I don't go to
Andy's Carpet Land job
726
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,279
to go see him.
727
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,099
You're welcome anytime, though.
728
00:23:58,100 --> 00:23:59,667
All you guys are.
729
00:23:59,668 --> 00:24:01,239
[VELCRO RIPS]
730
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,239
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
731
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,909
Give the people what they want!
732
00:24:06,910 --> 00:24:08,139
Whoo!
733
00:24:08,140 --> 00:24:10,579
Hey, behave yourself. Lucy, sit down.
734
00:24:10,580 --> 00:24:12,400
Oh, it's fun. He thinks it's fun!
735
00:24:12,410 --> 00:24:14,519
Wait, what was that? That's kind of a...
736
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,850
Oh, hey, hey! Put me down!
737
00:24:16,851 --> 00:24:18,519
I am a firefighter! Hey!
738
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,699
Dad! Put...
739
00:24:19,700 --> 00:24:20,839
- Put me down!
- You gonna do something about that?
740
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:21,989
Hey, let go of me!
741
00:24:21,990 --> 00:24:24,589
Hey, four more purple knobs, please.
742
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:26,329
- Aww, thanks, Chief.
- Yeah.
743
00:24:26,330 --> 00:24:28,195
Put me down!
744
00:24:28,196 --> 00:24:31,200
Hey, that's my helmet!
52408
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