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00:00:00,710 --> 00:00:03,170
Previously on Mom...
How you doing over there?
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00:00:03,170 --> 00:00:04,960
I'm good. Really good.
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00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,340
You have a lot to be proud of.
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00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,630
Damn right.
Georgetown Law School
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00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:10,510
on a full scholarship.
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00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,090
Phew.
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00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:14,090
Every mom dreams of the day
when they drop
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00:00:14,090 --> 00:00:17,640
their 42-year-old daughter off
at the airport to go to school.
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00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,640
Why are you being
such a grouchy, grumpy,
10
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,020
grocery-store-cake-buying
sourpuss?
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00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:24,150
My doctor told me
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00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:26,560
that I have something wrong
with my heart.
13
00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:31,320
You got plans for Saturday?
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00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:32,950
I'm gonna get my tires rotated.
15
00:00:32,950 --> 00:00:35,660
Yeah, you are.
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00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,620
You can make anything dirty.
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00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:40,250
Yeah, I can.
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00:00:40,250 --> 00:00:43,410
I'm also gonna devote
part of my day to mocking you
19
00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:45,630
for forgetting
our wedding anniversary.
20
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,420
Oh, my God, it's Saturday?
21
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:50,090
We made it to a year.
22
00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:51,800
Damn it! I owe Wendy
a hundred bucks.
23
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,380
You bet against us?
24
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,260
Yeah, 'cause I figured
if we got divorced,
25
00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,890
at least I'd have a hundred
bucks to jump-start my new life.
26
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:00,270
Are we gonna do gifts?
27
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:02,180
We...
Let me tell you why we're not.
28
00:01:02,180 --> 00:01:03,850
This one sets the bar,
then every year
29
00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:05,100
it's got to be a little better,
and eventually
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00:01:05,100 --> 00:01:06,690
it just spins out of control.
31
00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:08,980
Did you know
that on the 50th anniversary,
32
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:11,230
people give
each other actual gold?
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00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:14,030
I don't need to be shopping
for gold at 110.
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00:01:14,030 --> 00:01:15,530
But let's at least do a card.
35
00:01:15,530 --> 00:01:17,320
Really? A card?
36
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,120
Yeah, well, i-if we don't
do that, we're just roommates.
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00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,700
No, we're not.
We're gonna have sex.
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00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:25,500
That's true. Sex is our card.
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00:01:26,500 --> 00:01:28,710
And you can lick the envelope.
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00:01:28,710 --> 00:01:30,920
Where are you going?
Nowhere, I just felt like
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00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,220
you should be watching
my ass as I said that.
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00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:36,130
Where's your wallet?
I need a hundred bucks.
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00:01:39,260 --> 00:01:42,310
Marjorie, alcoholic.
ALL: Hi, Marjorie.
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00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:45,140
As you know, I just had
a stent put into my heart
45
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,520
and I'm feeling pretty great,
but it got me thinking
46
00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,980
that I need to put
more carpe into my diem.
47
00:01:51,980 --> 00:01:53,990
So...
48
00:01:53,990 --> 00:01:57,450
I invited my friend Gary
to come visit.
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00:01:58,450 --> 00:01:59,990
We bumped into each other
50
00:01:59,990 --> 00:02:03,040
at a sober convention in Chicago
a few months ago
51
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,290
and we've been
texting ever since.
52
00:02:05,290 --> 00:02:07,120
What happened to Wayne?
53
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,540
He's still in the picture.
54
00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:11,500
It's like an episode
of Riverdale.
55
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:15,840
Normally I take things
very slow, but why?
56
00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,220
I like him, he likes me,
I have new moles every week,
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00:02:19,220 --> 00:02:21,390
let's light this candle.
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00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:23,010
Thanks.
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00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,480
Are moles really
that dangerous?
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00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,850
Oh, yeah, they should
just call them cancer dots.
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00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:31,020
Bonnie, alcoholic.
ALL: Hi, Bonnie.
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00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,820
If you're wondering
if this program works,
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00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:35,650
I just want to say I have been
married for a whole year.
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00:02:35,650 --> 00:02:38,610
Oh, my God,
I won a hundred bucks.
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00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,410
Oh, my God, I'm covered
in cancer dots.
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00:02:42,870 --> 00:02:44,910
♪ ♪
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00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,340
I hate it when we sit
at the tables.
68
00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:57,670
The chairs are
all wibbly-wobbly.
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00:02:57,670 --> 00:02:59,260
(wood creaking)
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00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:01,760
We need the extra room.
Marjorie's bringing Gary.
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00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,310
She's so excited, I had to give
my opinion on three nightgowns.
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00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,810
There's three kinds of flannel?
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00:03:06,810 --> 00:03:08,270
Only one was flannel.
74
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,060
One was, I think, burlap.
(Jill laughs)
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00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:14,400
And there was a racy one
with a neckline down to here.
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00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,190
(laughter)
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00:03:16,190 --> 00:03:18,440
Hi, ladies.
ALL: Hey.
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00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,110
This is Gary.
79
00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:21,610
Hi, Gary.
Hi, Gary.
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00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:23,870
MARJORIE: Wendy, Bonnie,
Tammy and Jill.
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00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:26,370
Hi. Great to put some faces
with the names.
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00:03:26,370 --> 00:03:27,580
How was your flight?
83
00:03:28,580 --> 00:03:29,830
Pilot was flying a little low
84
00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:31,830
for my taste, but I'm here.
85
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:34,790
(laughs)
Oh, Gary.
86
00:03:34,790 --> 00:03:36,630
That was, that was funny?
87
00:03:36,630 --> 00:03:38,880
Maybe he's doing something
to her under the table.
88
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:41,840
So, Tammy,
you're the handyman, right?
89
00:03:41,840 --> 00:03:43,260
How's that going?
90
00:03:43,260 --> 00:03:44,720
Going great.
I'm actually about to buy
91
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,010
my first truck.
92
00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:49,390
Really? In this economy?
93
00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:52,390
If it were me, I'd
give it six months.
94
00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:53,940
Hmm. Thanks, Gary.
95
00:03:53,940 --> 00:03:55,730
I mean, you know,
you get in too deep,
96
00:03:55,730 --> 00:03:58,730
and before you know it,
you're living in that truck.
97
00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:01,900
I said, "Thanks, Gary."
98
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:04,410
Ooh, you're the one with the
phone permanently attached.
99
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:08,950
Oh, I don't mean to be rude,
I'm just making a quick donation
100
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:11,160
to a charity
for underprivileged girls.
101
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,080
They had an ad on Instagram
that got me right in the feels.
102
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,790
If it were me,
I wouldn't go online.
103
00:04:16,790 --> 00:04:19,670
Yeah, it's too risky.
Just write a check.
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00:04:19,670 --> 00:04:20,880
If there's one thing
I'm good at,
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00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:22,670
it's spending money online.
106
00:04:22,670 --> 00:04:24,550
No, I'm not a robot.
107
00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:26,260
Traffic light,
traffic light, traffic light.
108
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:31,020
Why are you wearing a sweater?
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00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,730
News flash,
you live in California.
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00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:34,980
(laughs)
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00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:37,730
I'm chilly.
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00:04:37,730 --> 00:04:40,150
Gary, have you ever thought
of being a life coach?
113
00:04:40,150 --> 00:04:41,610
Nah, I don't like
sticking my nose
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00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:43,490
in other people's business.
115
00:04:45,280 --> 00:04:46,660
You ready to order?
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00:04:46,660 --> 00:04:48,700
Yes, I'll have
a grilled cheese.
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00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:50,330
With your bum ticker?
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00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:52,700
If it was me,
I'd get the Greek salad.
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00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,620
(laughs):
Oh, Gary.
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00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:57,500
Greek salad.
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00:04:57,500 --> 00:04:59,590
It's sweet the way
you look out for me.
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00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,210
(phone chimes)
123
00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:03,050
Oh, my God.
What?
124
00:05:03,050 --> 00:05:06,130
$50,000? I only meant
to donate $500.
125
00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:09,510
Wouldn't have happened
with a check. Patty melt?
126
00:05:12,810 --> 00:05:15,190
Hey, Bobbi, Jill Kendall
is here to say hello.
127
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,440
Oh, my goodness.
128
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,190
It is such a pleasure
to meet you.
129
00:05:20,190 --> 00:05:22,030
You're my hero.
130
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,490
Oh!
(laughs)
Please, sit down.
131
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,780
Uh, sorry I didn't
make an appointment.
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00:05:26,780 --> 00:05:28,870
Oh, are you kidding?
You gave $50,000.
133
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,490
You can come at 2:00
in the morning if you want.
134
00:05:30,490 --> 00:05:31,870
About that...
135
00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:33,660
You have no idea
how much your money
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00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:35,460
is gonna help these girls.
137
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:38,120
This is the largest donation
the Inspired Girl Project
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00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,920
has ever received.
139
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:43,340
About that, um, I made
a little, tiny boo-boo error.
140
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:47,590
Um, I meant to donate $500,
but I forgot the decimal point.
141
00:05:47,590 --> 00:05:49,220
Silly me.
142
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:52,970
Um, so, if you could just
shoot me back $49,500,
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00:05:52,970 --> 00:05:55,140
I would be so appreciative.
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00:05:55,140 --> 00:05:57,100
You're asking
for your money back?
145
00:05:57,100 --> 00:05:58,940
No, not the money
I intended to give,
146
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:01,650
just the money I did
not intend to give.
147
00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:03,780
Um, the $500 is all yours.
148
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,820
Don't spend it all in one place.
149
00:06:05,820 --> 00:06:06,950
(laughs)
150
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,530
Or do. This place.
151
00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:11,530
Okay.
152
00:06:11,530 --> 00:06:14,450
$500 is very generous
153
00:06:14,450 --> 00:06:16,370
and we can do
a lot with it.
154
00:06:16,370 --> 00:06:18,580
Sorry to interrupt,
but the girls would like
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00:06:18,580 --> 00:06:20,500
to perform a song to thank
Miss Kendall for her donation.
156
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,420
No song.
Yeah, no song.
157
00:06:24,420 --> 00:06:26,260
(TV playing indistinctly)
158
00:06:26,260 --> 00:06:28,220
What do you think
they're gonna do, Bonnie?
159
00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,640
Think they're gonna love it or
think they're gonna list it?
160
00:06:32,260 --> 00:06:34,220
If it was me, I'd list it.
161
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:35,970
Oh, my God. "If it was me."
162
00:06:35,970 --> 00:06:37,600
I'm turning into Gary.
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00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:40,020
Stop pretending
to be asleep.
164
00:06:40,020 --> 00:06:41,860
Well, then, go home.
165
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,440
No. Home is where
the Gary is.
166
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:46,280
Oh, he's not that bad.
167
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,950
You've had one lunch with him.
I've had three days.
168
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,950
Did you know
I open my mail wrong?
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00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:52,370
"You're supposed to do it
on the end so you don't
170
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,620
accidentally rip a check."
171
00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:55,990
That's not bad advice.
172
00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:57,620
Yeah, but I didn't say to him,
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00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,910
"Hey, Gary, any thoughts
on how I open my mail?"
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00:06:59,910 --> 00:07:02,000
I'm telling you, you wouldn't
last five minutes with the guy.
175
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,840
Challenge accepted. Adam and I
are having dinner with them
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00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,840
on Saturday.
177
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:06,590
Oh, God, why?
178
00:07:06,590 --> 00:07:08,800
Because she's my friend,
and she's a million years old
179
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:10,430
and she found herself
a million-year-old fella
180
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,890
who's into her.
181
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,090
I think that's worthy
of my support.
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00:07:13,090 --> 00:07:14,930
Well, speaking of support,
183
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:16,770
Gary's gonna have a few
thoughts on that bra of yours.
184
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,770
Nothing creepy, just
advice about materials.
185
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:24,520
So are Bonnie and I
just gonna share you
186
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:27,150
like divorced parents
until Gary leaves?
(laughs softly)
187
00:07:27,150 --> 00:07:29,240
Honestly, the more I try
to be nice to him,
188
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,490
the more I want
to a little bit murder him.
189
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:33,740
Mm-hmm.
Aw, that girl's adorable.
190
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:37,160
Is this the charity
you took $49,500 from?
191
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,710
I prefer to see the glass
as $500 full.
192
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,330
I'm just teasing.
500 bucks is a lot.
193
00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:45,000
(gasps) It gets them
two new computers
194
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,420
for their science lab.
195
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,300
And look, a thousand
dollar donation
196
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:51,220
gets 20 girls
after-school tutoring.
197
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,390
It feels so good to share
with the less fortunate
198
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,260
instead of always thinking
about me, me, me.
199
00:07:55,260 --> 00:07:56,470
(chuckles)
200
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:57,890
Hey, I didn't get a mug.
201
00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:00,180
$500 is mug level.
Where's my mug?
202
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,810
Oh. "The Inspired Girl
Project provides programs,
203
00:08:03,810 --> 00:08:06,520
"resources and mentors
to at-risk girls
204
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:08,900
so they can grow into
empowered women."
205
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:11,610
Fine, I'll let the mug go.
206
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:14,530
You know, a lot of these girls
are in the foster system.
207
00:08:14,530 --> 00:08:16,700
Man, this would've been
a game changer for me.
208
00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:18,620
Music camp?
(scoffs)
209
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:20,580
I'd be a professional
flutist by now.
210
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,290
Flautist.
211
00:08:22,290 --> 00:08:24,580
Well, whatever, I'd be
rolling in flautist money.
212
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:26,920
Then I could make a
donation to this charity
213
00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,750
and I'd actually
let them keep it.
214
00:08:29,750 --> 00:08:31,210
(mouths)
215
00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:37,220
Mmm. My fish is delicious.
How's your dinner?
216
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:40,680
I don't know, I can barely
find it, it's so dark in here.
217
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,140
Oh, there it is.
218
00:08:44,020 --> 00:08:45,600
So, what do you do, Gary?
219
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:49,190
I was a middle school
vice principal 38 years.
220
00:08:49,190 --> 00:08:52,240
When he retired, they named
a snack bar after him.
221
00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,780
What is going on
with your steak?
222
00:08:56,780 --> 00:08:59,580
You ordered medium rare.
It looks like a shingle.
223
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:01,750
It's fine.
224
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,710
Waiter, waiter.
Gary,
225
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,080
he says it's okay.
226
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:06,750
Well, I am not letting him
eat that.
227
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:08,000
Is there a problem?
228
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,500
Well, you tell me.
229
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,960
My friend's steak
here is so overdone
230
00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,920
I could play hockey with it.
231
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,840
Gary was a goalie.
232
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:16,840
I'm sorry, sir.
We'll make another.
233
00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:18,550
It'll only be 20 minutes.
234
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:20,930
20 minutes for medium rare?
235
00:09:20,930 --> 00:09:24,020
You know, if it
was me, I'd try 12.
236
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:26,390
So Adam's just gonna
sit here while we eat?
237
00:09:26,390 --> 00:09:29,360
I'm fine.
I'll take another Scotch.
238
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,980
There's so few times
I wish I could join you.
239
00:09:30,980 --> 00:09:32,190
This is one of them.
240
00:09:32,190 --> 00:09:34,440
(laughs)
Happy anniversary.
241
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,160
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What'd you just say?
242
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,360
Anniversary?
243
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,620
Yeah.
244
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,580
I did not realize it was today.
245
00:09:41,580 --> 00:09:43,620
Congratulations.
246
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:44,950
How long you been married?
247
00:09:44,950 --> 00:09:46,160
One year.
248
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,790
And you're spending it with us?
249
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:53,090
You know, my first anniversary,
I took my wife to Hawaii.
250
00:09:53,090 --> 00:09:55,510
Breakfast buffet every day.
251
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:58,220
We didn't want
to make it a thing.
252
00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:00,890
Well, I am making it a thing.
253
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:03,180
Everybody.
254
00:10:03,180 --> 00:10:04,470
A toast.
255
00:10:04,470 --> 00:10:07,270
Happy anniversary
to Bonnie, and...
256
00:10:07,270 --> 00:10:08,690
what was it?
257
00:10:08,690 --> 00:10:10,770
Adam.
It's hard to remember
258
00:10:10,770 --> 00:10:13,270
'cause it was
the first name ever.
259
00:10:18,070 --> 00:10:19,610
We had a great time!
260
00:10:19,610 --> 00:10:21,160
Let's do it again!
261
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,780
They can still see us,
so if you're gonna
262
00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:24,950
say something negative,
just do it with a smile.
263
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:28,540
He's my least favorite person
on the planet.
264
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,710
Just had a chance
to run him over.
265
00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:34,500
Didn't take it.
If it was me,
I would have done it.
266
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,880
The nerve of that guy,
telling me white chocolate
267
00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,550
isn't real chocolate.
268
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,930
Get off my jock, Willy Wonka.
269
00:10:40,930 --> 00:10:43,470
Bonnie, he told me how
to operate my wheelchair.
270
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,640
(scoffs)
Okay, okay.
271
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,350
Gary is her new boyfriend.
272
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:48,980
We've got to stop
bad-mouthing him.
273
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,350
You're right.
You're right.
274
00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,560
No more. We're done.
275
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,610
(laughing):
Oh, oh, oh.
276
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,530
We didn't talk about what
he said to the valet.
277
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:59,780
"You should organize your keys
alphabetically by car name."
278
00:10:59,780 --> 00:11:01,820
As if he doesn't know how
to organize keys.
279
00:11:01,820 --> 00:11:04,410
The guy's entire life is keys.
280
00:11:04,410 --> 00:11:07,040
(both laughing)
281
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:09,830
Ah, I wish Gary was here
so he could tell us
282
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,290
how to do that better.
283
00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,670
Why'd you bring him up?
284
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:16,420
I could have gone again.
285
00:11:16,420 --> 00:11:18,760
I'm gonna say something
to Marjorie.
286
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:20,680
She deserves more
than that guy.
287
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,140
Please don't do that.
Why not?
288
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,050
She might pick him over you.
289
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,600
I'm not asking her to pick.
290
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,980
She might feel like
she has to.
291
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,850
You don't know what
you're talking about.
292
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:32,400
(laughs):
Yeah, I do.
293
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:34,310
It's why I'm not friends
with Mitch anymore.
294
00:11:34,310 --> 00:11:35,980
What?
(sighs)
295
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:38,320
He is not a big
Bonnie Plunkett fan.
296
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,400
He went off about you
one day, so...
297
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,030
I ended our friendship.
298
00:11:42,030 --> 00:11:45,030
That lying sack of dirt
doesn't like me?
299
00:11:45,030 --> 00:11:47,370
The point is I choose you.
300
00:11:47,370 --> 00:11:49,290
And you tell me this
on our anniversary?
301
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,160
The point is I choose you.
302
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:52,670
What, exactly,
did he say about me?
303
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,250
The point is I choose you.
304
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:58,550
What did he say?
305
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:02,090
He said you're loud,
opinionated and stubborn.
306
00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:05,390
That's fair.
307
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,060
Hey, Jilly-Jill.
308
00:12:12,060 --> 00:12:14,850
Hey, Shawn, what you got
for me today?
309
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:16,270
So many good things.
310
00:12:16,270 --> 00:12:17,650
Start at the feet
and work our way up?
311
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:19,690
That's how my boyfriend does it.
312
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:22,400
I know these don't look
comfortable, and they're not,
313
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,610
but how gorgeous are they?
314
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,200
Meghan Markle just wore them
to a Mommy and Me,
315
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,620
and now you can't
find them anywhere.
316
00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,410
Love. How much?
317
00:12:29,410 --> 00:12:31,200
Enough to pay for
computer coding classes
318
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:32,790
for 30 at-risk girls.
319
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:35,460
I'm sorry, what'd you just say?
320
00:12:35,460 --> 00:12:36,670
$1,500.
321
00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:38,460
Right. Of course.
322
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:41,170
Imagine them with these pants.
323
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,130
They're handmade
Italian leather,
324
00:12:43,130 --> 00:12:45,840
and they could send
100 girls to science camp,
325
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,760
which would basically
change the world.
326
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:49,970
(quietly):
What is happening?
327
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:51,140
Excuse me?
328
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:52,600
Uh, nothing.
329
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,190
What about this little
slice of heaven?
330
00:12:56,190 --> 00:12:57,980
Hmm!
331
00:12:57,980 --> 00:12:59,690
It's actually on sale
for 500 hot school lunches,
332
00:12:59,690 --> 00:13:01,730
like the one your friend
Tammy never had.
333
00:13:01,730 --> 00:13:04,610
Oh, my God, I'm in hell.
334
00:13:04,610 --> 00:13:06,410
You're right.
I hate it, too.
335
00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:09,620
What if I told you
your bag came in?
336
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:11,290
Wait, the bag?
337
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,950
The bag.
338
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,750
(gasps)
Oh, my God, yes! Okay.
339
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,830
Go ahead, ring me up.
Walk away.
340
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,840
Oh, Bonnie.
341
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:28,590
Glad you're here.
342
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,180
Oh, hey.
343
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:34,140
Now that you've spent
some time with Gary,
344
00:13:34,140 --> 00:13:35,480
what do you think?
345
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,440
I've got to be honest.
346
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,770
He is amazing.
347
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:43,400
Good. That means a lot to me,
348
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,240
'cause I'm one smitten kitten.
349
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,610
Aw, I bet you're gonna miss him
when he goes back to Chicago.
350
00:13:48,610 --> 00:13:50,240
I know I will.
351
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:53,950
Can you keep a secret?
Not really, no.
352
00:13:53,950 --> 00:13:56,000
A few more visits
like this one
353
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,580
and I might let Gary
pack me up in his suitcase
354
00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:00,000
and take me to
the Windy City.
355
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,210
Whoa, that's a little fast.
356
00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,300
Well, I'm not getting
any younger.
357
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,010
You know, Victor and I,
358
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:09,430
we used to talk about
going to Paris.
359
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:11,180
And I thought it would
be too expensive,
360
00:14:11,180 --> 00:14:13,010
so we put it off
and we put it off,
361
00:14:13,010 --> 00:14:14,770
and he died.
362
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,180
Life is short.
363
00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:18,520
I'm sure it'll feel longer
with Gary.
364
00:14:20,350 --> 00:14:23,980
Oh, wow, that's
a snazzy pocketbook.
365
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:25,570
Yep, very special.
366
00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:28,860
Only five of 'em in the world,
blah, blah, blah.
367
00:14:28,860 --> 00:14:30,320
What's wrong, sweetie?
368
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:31,990
Yeah. Normally when you
get a new purse,
369
00:14:31,990 --> 00:14:34,330
you hold it up
like The Lion King.
370
00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,750
I know. A bag like this
usually gives me a buzz
371
00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,370
for three to six
business days,
372
00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:39,750
but I feel nothing.
373
00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:42,920
I look at it, nothing.
Touch it, nothing.
374
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,590
Nothing.
375
00:14:44,590 --> 00:14:46,630
Maybe you should have
bought something with batteries.
376
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:51,050
(laughing)
What?
377
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:54,680
Gary just sent me the
funniest Far Side cartoon,
378
00:14:54,680 --> 00:14:56,770
where the cats are
smarter than humans.
379
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh, Gary...
Oh, Gary...
380
00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:02,980
(movie playing indistinctly)
381
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:06,730
Hey, Jill, what do you got
in that candy basket?
382
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:11,110
Oh, there's Mars Bars,
Nestle Crunch, Twix,
383
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:14,530
Red Vines, KitKat, Reese's
Peanut Butter Cups and M&Ms.
384
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,120
No Good & Plenty?
385
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:20,370
No, just the seven
I mentioned.
386
00:15:20,370 --> 00:15:22,210
I'll pass.
387
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,710
You like Twix.
388
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:26,380
Not for a movie.
389
00:15:26,380 --> 00:15:29,260
Who brings a man to
ladies movie night?
390
00:15:29,260 --> 00:15:31,430
I mean, it's Beaches,
for God's sake.
391
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,890
And if he doesn't sob
when Barbara Hershey dies,
392
00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:36,010
I swear to God...
393
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:38,180
Shh!
394
00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:40,810
Did I just get shushed
in my own damn screening room?
395
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:43,020
Oh, he's big on the shushing.
396
00:15:43,020 --> 00:15:44,940
He probably shushes Marjorie
during sex.
397
00:15:44,940 --> 00:15:46,150
(chuckles)
398
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,150
He does not.
399
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,780
Hey, birds in the back row,
400
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:55,280
if it was me, I'd go
to another room.
401
00:15:57,330 --> 00:15:59,950
It's a big house.
Plenty of choices.
402
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:02,000
Unlike your candy selection.
403
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:14,390
Between you and me,
404
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:15,970
I do have Good & Plentys
in the pantry,
405
00:16:15,970 --> 00:16:18,890
but I am not getting
on a step stool for that man.
406
00:16:18,890 --> 00:16:21,680
Wow. You know,
this really is gorgeous.
407
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:23,520
Yeah, who cares?
408
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:24,980
What?
409
00:16:24,980 --> 00:16:27,570
I hope you know you
ruined shopping for me.
410
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,860
I used to love spending money
on myself.
411
00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:32,030
Now all I can see is
a bunch of little Tammys
412
00:16:32,030 --> 00:16:34,490
getting screwed out of
opportunities they deserve.
413
00:16:34,490 --> 00:16:36,990
Wow, look at you, caring more
about other people
414
00:16:36,990 --> 00:16:38,580
than about how you look.
415
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,700
Oh, now, that can't be true.
416
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,040
All right.
417
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:44,870
Which one makes you happier?
418
00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,800
Think faster,
the purse is heavy.
419
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,800
Empowered little girls,
420
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,430
or a dead cow
with a scarf on it.
421
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:58,850
Damn it!
422
00:17:00,810 --> 00:17:02,640
We had to get out of there.
423
00:17:02,640 --> 00:17:06,850
Gary and Marjorie are
sucking face.
424
00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:08,860
Okay, I have to ask.
425
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:10,360
What does she like
about that man?
426
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,780
I can't figure it out,
427
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:14,200
and I find the good
in everybody.
428
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,240
I'm an alcoholic.
My name is Gary.
429
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,120
ALL:
Hi, Gary.
430
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,790
I see you do the one aisle
down the middle.
431
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,330
I mean, if it was me,
I'd do two aisles.
432
00:17:26,330 --> 00:17:28,960
You know, more end seats.
433
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,460
Or do folks not have
to pee in Napa?
434
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,090
(laughing)
435
00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:37,510
My sobriety date is
April 10, 1995.
436
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:39,890
My wife was pregnant
with our son,
437
00:17:39,890 --> 00:17:42,180
and, uh, you know,
she'd had it with me.
438
00:17:42,180 --> 00:17:45,270
She threw me out,
and I thought, um,
439
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:49,190
great, I get to drink
the way I want.
440
00:17:52,230 --> 00:17:57,780
And that is the scariest thought
I ever had in my life.
441
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:00,280
I realized that I was...
442
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,830
picking alcohol over my family.
443
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:09,790
So I ended up in a meeting,
and I've been sober ever since.
444
00:18:13,550 --> 00:18:18,510
And my son is 25 years old now,
and, uh...
445
00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:20,970
he's struggling with
his own addiction.
446
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:27,520
It's brought me to my knees.
447
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:31,310
I mean, the other day
I was at a meeting,
448
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:35,230
and, uh, you know, I hadn't
heard from him in-in months.
449
00:18:35,230 --> 00:18:37,450
I was spinning.
450
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:40,490
You know,
I-I could just picture him
451
00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:44,160
overdosing somewhere, alone.
452
00:18:47,370 --> 00:18:50,370
And, uh, my buddy came up to me,
and he, uh...
453
00:18:50,370 --> 00:18:54,750
he pointed to this-this shaky
newcomer across the room.
454
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:57,840
He was a young guy,
and he said to me,
455
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,510
"You know,
that's somebody's son, too.
456
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:07,020
Why don't you see if
he wants a cup of coffee."
457
00:19:07,020 --> 00:19:09,850
Now I get to sponsor that kid.
458
00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:14,360
And he's doing great.
459
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,530
Maybe someday a guy will
460
00:19:17,530 --> 00:19:20,990
get my son a cup of coffee.
461
00:19:24,450 --> 00:19:26,870
You know, I used to drink
because
462
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:29,790
I didn't know what was
gonna happen.
463
00:19:29,790 --> 00:19:33,920
And now I stay sober
for that same reason.
464
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:45,390
And are we absolutely sure that
the number on this check
465
00:19:45,390 --> 00:19:48,560
is the number you want to give?
Sure am.
466
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:52,270
Then brace yourself
'cause I'm coming in.
467
00:19:52,770 --> 00:19:55,110
This place is amazing!
468
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:58,020
An 11-year-old just programmed
a robot to scratch my back,
469
00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:59,860
and now I'm headed
to the kitchen garden
470
00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:02,650
to learn how to plant bok choy.
Come on!
471
00:20:02,650 --> 00:20:05,740
Ah, looks like you got a new
little girl in your program.
472
00:20:05,740 --> 00:20:07,910
Do you do music here?
We do.
473
00:20:07,910 --> 00:20:10,910
You should probably
hide the flutes.
34316
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