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1
00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:01,540
Previously on Mom...
2
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,170
(laughs):
Oh!
3
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:05,540
Oh. Uh, too rough?
4
00:00:05,540 --> 00:00:07,380
No. This would be too rough.
5
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:09,130
Ow! (growls)
6
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:11,130
Best date I ever had.
7
00:00:11,130 --> 00:00:12,630
I need to break up with him.
8
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:16,100
I have one more daffodil
hidden somewhere on my body.
9
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,680
Care to lead the
search party?
10
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,390
Rudy, we need to talk.
11
00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:23,350
RUDY:
No...!
12
00:00:26,010 --> 00:00:27,390
(sighs)
13
00:00:27,390 --> 00:00:29,060
Look at us.
14
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:30,480
(chuckles)
15
00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,730
What?
16
00:00:31,730 --> 00:00:33,100
Look at us.
17
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,570
Who's better than us?
18
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:37,020
Uh...
19
00:00:37,020 --> 00:00:39,320
I mean, missionaries,
I guess.
20
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:41,950
I don't know, I don't know.
Where are you going with this?
21
00:00:41,950 --> 00:00:44,240
We are so
mentally healthy.
22
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,950
We are so dogged in our
pursuit of better-ness.
23
00:00:46,950 --> 00:00:49,410
I feel like I'm getting set up
for a favor.
24
00:00:49,410 --> 00:00:51,410
Do you need
your feet pumiced again?
25
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:53,420
I just mean, here I am,
dropping you off
26
00:00:53,420 --> 00:00:56,630
at your Al-Anon meeting,
en route to my AA meeting.
27
00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:59,420
So again I say,
who's better than us?
28
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,260
(chuckles)
29
00:01:01,260 --> 00:01:04,090
People who don't need those
meetings in the first place?
30
00:01:05,140 --> 00:01:06,550
But who else?
31
00:01:06,550 --> 00:01:08,140
No one.
32
00:01:08,140 --> 00:01:09,930
There you go.
(chuckles)
Ah. (laughs)
33
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,440
So... do you
talk about me?
34
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:20,740
Well, it is an Al-Anon meeting,
and you're my Al.
35
00:01:20,740 --> 00:01:23,450
So, uh, yeah, yeah, you come up.
36
00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,740
And do you speak well of me?
37
00:01:25,740 --> 00:01:27,740
Yes, Bonnie,
I'm the only person in there
38
00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:29,740
whose alcoholic is perfect.
39
00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:32,160
(chuckles) Okay, but
I'm not the worst.
40
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:33,960
No, no.
41
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,670
Was that a genuine "no"
or a sarcastic "no"?
42
00:01:36,670 --> 00:01:39,380
It's whatever you want it to be.
43
00:01:39,380 --> 00:01:40,760
Again...
44
00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:42,550
(singsongy):
who's better than us.
45
00:01:42,550 --> 00:01:44,130
(both chuckle)
46
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:47,930
Who's that?
47
00:01:47,930 --> 00:01:49,600
That's Sam, my sponsor.
48
00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,470
Your sponsor
wears suspenders?
49
00:01:51,470 --> 00:01:53,230
No wonder his
wife drinks.
50
00:01:53,230 --> 00:01:54,560
ADAM:
No, that's Carl.
51
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,020
Sam's standing next
to him, smoking.
52
00:01:59,020 --> 00:02:00,980
That's Sam?
53
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:02,820
Yeah.
54
00:02:02,820 --> 00:02:05,150
The same Sam you've been talking
about for three months?
55
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,820
Yeah. Yeah.
56
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:11,040
So the "antha" is silent.
57
00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:14,580
Any chance
we could all be?
58
00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:41,070
Found him!
59
00:02:42,910 --> 00:02:46,040
What are you doing in
here for 20 minutes?
60
00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:47,620
We're backed up.
61
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:50,170
Waiters are cooking
their own orders.
62
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,420
I came in for an onion
but got lost in my memories.
63
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,670
Oh, I don't need to hear it.
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00:02:55,670 --> 00:02:57,960
This is where Tammy and I
shared our first kiss.
65
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:59,470
And our last kiss.
66
00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:01,090
Oh, God.
67
00:03:01,090 --> 00:03:03,100
Does she ever talk
about me at all?
68
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:05,220
How about we talk and cook?
69
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:06,560
Talk and cook!
No, no, no.
70
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,520
Could you text her for me?
71
00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,270
Huh? Tell her
I'm miserable without her.
72
00:03:10,270 --> 00:03:12,770
No, that sounds weak.
Tell her I'm in play.
73
00:03:12,770 --> 00:03:15,360
No, just tell her I'm fine
with whatever she wants.
74
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,070
No big whoop either way.
75
00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:19,690
"Rudy says hi."
76
00:03:19,690 --> 00:03:22,860
Ah, subtle. Well played.
Shocking you're a spinster.
77
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,700
Did she text back yet?
78
00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,870
No.
Oh.
79
00:03:28,870 --> 00:03:30,410
How about now?
No!
80
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:32,250
Oh. Now?
You would hear it!
81
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,540
Well, I thought
maybe it happened
82
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,710
when I was saying, "Now?"
83
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:38,050
(phone chimes)
Ooh, bingo.
84
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:41,590
Mm. Some ass named Roscoe said
he got an "A" in English.
85
00:03:41,590 --> 00:03:43,510
Oh, give me that!
86
00:03:51,020 --> 00:03:52,520
How was your meeting?
87
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,400
Good. Yours?
88
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,900
Good. Good.
89
00:03:55,900 --> 00:03:57,520
Did you share?
90
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,190
I did.
91
00:03:59,190 --> 00:04:01,110
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
92
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:04,660
And did you talk about
Sam having a vagina?
93
00:04:06,530 --> 00:04:09,330
No, but I did talk about
how this ride was gonna go,
94
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:12,250
and so far,
I was right on the money.
95
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:15,080
Oh, is it not going well
for you? 'Cause I'm fine.
96
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,000
Oh, come on, Bonnie.
So what if Sam's a woman?
97
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,340
I just find it curious
you never told me.
98
00:04:20,340 --> 00:04:21,920
I didn't even think about it
at first,
99
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:23,470
and then the longer
I didn't tell you,
100
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:25,390
the weirder I felt
about saying something.
101
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,510
You know,
102
00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:28,680
I missed my window.
103
00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:31,350
Like the guy at the deli,
who still gets my name wrong.
104
00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,770
I should've corrected him
the second time, but I didn't.
105
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:37,270
So now I'm forever
"Beef Baloney Dan."
106
00:04:37,270 --> 00:04:38,980
(laughs)
107
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,980
Who's better than us?
108
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:47,530
You listen to me,
Mr. Adam Janikowski.
109
00:04:47,530 --> 00:04:48,870
You cannot just sit there
and pretend
110
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,120
this is not a big deal!
111
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:52,750
No, no, I'm talking!
112
00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:56,670
You obviously kept her a secret
113
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,630
because you have feelings
for her.
114
00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,670
Oh, that is such a lie!
115
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,970
Oh, nice try, nice try.
We're not changing the subject.
116
00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:07,510
Oh, and of course she smokes.
117
00:05:07,510 --> 00:05:10,760
"Who's hotter than me?
Me, who smokes."
118
00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,520
Are we gonna start
smoking again?
119
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:16,350
Well, I should, because
apparently it turns Adam on.
120
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,560
So it's yes?
'Cause the off-brand gas station
121
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:21,070
is still open, and they're
50 cents a pack cheaper there.
122
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,570
Give me eight bucks,
I can make this happen.
123
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:25,650
We're not smoking.
I'm just pissed at Adam,
124
00:05:25,650 --> 00:05:27,820
who's sleeping like he doesn't
have a problem in the world.
125
00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:31,490
(quietly):
Well, you do, buddy!
You got a big, fat problem!
126
00:05:31,490 --> 00:05:33,160
Oh, I get it.
127
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:35,040
You're in a
whisper fight.
128
00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:36,830
I used to do that with you
all the time.
129
00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:37,830
Deal me in.
130
00:05:37,830 --> 00:05:41,170
His Al-Anon sponsor is a woman.
131
00:05:41,170 --> 00:05:42,170
Sam?
132
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:44,050
"...antha."
133
00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:46,590
Like in,
"Meanwhile, across town,
134
00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:50,260
Samantha was flat on her back
in the Flatiron District."
135
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:52,220
(groans):
Oh.
136
00:05:52,220 --> 00:05:53,930
I so miss
Sex and the City.
137
00:05:53,930 --> 00:05:55,930
And sex.
138
00:05:57,890 --> 00:06:01,860
I'm gonna miss sex with Adam
when he leaves me for Samantha.
139
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:03,900
I'll still have sex,
but I'll miss Adam.
140
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,700
Sorry, I just don't see
what's so bad.
141
00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,450
My G.A. sponsor is a guy.
142
00:06:09,450 --> 00:06:12,870
Yeah, uh, I've seen him.
Least sexy guy on the planet.
143
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,080
I'm up against
Angie frickin' Dickinson.
144
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:16,290
Who's that?
145
00:06:16,290 --> 00:06:18,790
Oh, for God's sake!
146
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:20,960
Just go to bed.
147
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,460
So... it's definitely a no
on the smoking?
148
00:06:24,460 --> 00:06:27,720
Look, if I'm divorced
by the weekend, we can smoke.
149
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:29,380
I like my chances.
150
00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:32,600
I might buy a lighter.
151
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,270
What are you doing?
152
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,860
Chef Rudy asked me to
take pictures of you.
153
00:06:43,860 --> 00:06:46,030
I get bonus points
if your mouth is open.
154
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:53,200
That is super creepy.
155
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,780
Why'd you say yes?
156
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,580
I actually feel
sorry for the guy.
157
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:58,960
He talks about you.
He cries about you.
158
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,460
He yells your name when
he's pounding the veal.
159
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,420
Ew!
160
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:05,920
No, literally, we
serve a lot of veal.
161
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,760
Then my plan is working.
162
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:09,880
What plan?
163
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,180
Love is a game, Christy,
164
00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:12,680
and I'm great at it.
165
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,050
I thought you didn't
want to have
166
00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,100
a relationship
with Chef Rudy.
167
00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,890
I thought I didn't either,
168
00:07:16,890 --> 00:07:18,640
and then, last Tuesday night
around 10:00, I did.
169
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,350
So I butt-dialed him
with my fingers
170
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:23,100
and made sounds like
I was taking a bubble bath.
171
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:25,610
Wait, hang on.
What would that sound like?
172
00:07:25,610 --> 00:07:26,780
Mm.
173
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,610
(giddy laughing)
174
00:07:30,650 --> 00:07:32,320
Oh!
175
00:07:33,950 --> 00:07:36,830
You couldn't do that
with your own glass?
176
00:07:39,290 --> 00:07:41,210
I don't get
playing games.
177
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,000
When I like a guy,
I just tell him.
178
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,830
OTHERS:
Oh!
179
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:47,550
What? Men
appreciate honesty.
180
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,630
OTHERS:
Oh!
181
00:07:50,630 --> 00:07:53,760
For God's sake, Christy,
you don't give away the mystery.
182
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,470
I was a stripper.
183
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:59,180
I've been giving away
the mystery since I was 18.
184
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,230
Even I played a little
hard-to-get with Victor.
185
00:08:02,230 --> 00:08:04,850
Took him a while to tug down
those sweatpants, huh?
186
00:08:08,820 --> 00:08:11,610
Oh, don't look now, but
your plans just walked in
187
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:13,320
and is acting
surprised to see us.
188
00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,990
You know who isn't surprised:
the puppet master.
189
00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:18,870
Tammy! Ah, is that you?
190
00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:21,870
Tammy, what a strange
coincidence.
191
00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:24,250
Ah, to think that I would
run into you here,
192
00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:27,500
at the, uh... Burgundy Bistro.
193
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:32,170
Yes, I've been meaning to try
their, uh... oh...
194
00:08:32,170 --> 00:08:34,010
three-bean chili.
195
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,220
Chili, coming up.
Ooh. Right.
196
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:38,810
Well, I hope you don't mind
if I sit at this table
197
00:08:38,810 --> 00:08:40,430
adjacent to your own.
198
00:08:40,430 --> 00:08:43,230
(loudly):
So, anyway, I've got dates
with both Ricardo
199
00:08:43,230 --> 00:08:44,560
and Brad tonight.
200
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,020
I mean, I love
Ricardo's fire,
201
00:08:46,020 --> 00:08:48,520
but Brad does manage
a LensCrafters.
202
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:53,450
Oh, what to do?
Mm.
203
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,120
Not sure, but first I'm off
to wax Downtown Disney,
204
00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,040
'cause someone's getting
in my tea cup tonight.
205
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,040
Here's your chili.
206
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,040
Good Lord, has someone
already eaten this?
207
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,050
Are you primping?
208
00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,380
Is there someone here
worth primping for?
209
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,850
Owen.
210
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,930
Hit bottom last year
on vodka and Mountain Dew.
211
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:25,230
Ah, he is cute.
How you gonna blow it?
212
00:09:25,230 --> 00:09:27,270
I am not gonna blow it.
213
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,980
I'm gonna be
the puppet master.
214
00:09:28,980 --> 00:09:30,770
Oh. Go get 'em, tiger.
215
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:32,610
Oh, I'm gonna get him.
216
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:36,200
I'm gonna get him so good he's
not gonna know what got him.
217
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:39,740
Like a sexy sex ninja.
218
00:09:39,740 --> 00:09:41,280
Just watch and learn.
219
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,410
Oh, I'm gonna watch.
220
00:09:44,700 --> 00:09:46,710
Hey, Christy,
looking for a seat?
221
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:48,670
(scoffs)
No.
222
00:09:51,290 --> 00:09:54,260
And the game is on.
223
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:57,300
Is it, though?
224
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,590
Oh, really, Adam? How would
you like it if I sponsored
225
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:01,010
one of the cute guys in here?
226
00:10:01,010 --> 00:10:03,470
(sighs)
Will you stop that?
227
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,100
Tell him. He's the one
who won't let it go.
228
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:06,940
You know you look crazy.
229
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,770
Yeah. People on the street
were trying to give you change.
230
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,440
One quarter. Relax.
231
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,940
It doesn't matter who Adam
is hearing the message from,
232
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,110
as long as he's hearing
the message.
233
00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:19,780
My first sponsor was a guy.
234
00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,570
Yeah, but back then,
there were only three people
235
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:22,870
in the program.
236
00:10:22,870 --> 00:10:24,870
(scoffs)
She's old.
237
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,160
Look at Owen ignoring me.
238
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:30,540
He's good, but I'm better.
239
00:10:30,540 --> 00:10:32,500
(phone chimes)
240
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:35,960
Oh. Guess who just sent
me a TikTok video?
241
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:39,260
A 12-year-old
you met at the mall?
242
00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:42,600
Hi, Tammy. Ticktock. Ticktock.
243
00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,140
(groans)
Paul, explain this to me again.
244
00:10:45,140 --> 00:10:47,640
I don't think I'm getting it.
Am I supposed to move?
245
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,690
(stammers)
Ticktock. Ticktock.
246
00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,690
Oh, no! Don't press send!
247
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,730
That was painful.
248
00:10:54,730 --> 00:10:57,570
(sighs)
In a super hot way.
249
00:10:57,570 --> 00:11:00,450
I'm gonna watch it again--
by myself, if you don't mind.
250
00:11:01,490 --> 00:11:02,570
(grunts softly)
251
00:11:02,570 --> 00:11:04,950
Wow, guy! No means no!
252
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,120
(mouthing)
253
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,630
How did that girl
ever get married?
254
00:11:12,630 --> 00:11:14,630
Drugs were involved.
255
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:20,340
She was out in
the living room
256
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,430
whisper-fighting
with me all night.
257
00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,640
Why didn't you
go talk to her?
258
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,100
Because I have a better chance
of winning if I'm not there.
259
00:11:27,100 --> 00:11:29,100
(laughs)
260
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:32,440
Come on, Adam. Don't you think
you might owe Bonnie an amends?
261
00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:34,270
What am I supposed to say?
262
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:36,110
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
that Sam was a woman?
263
00:11:36,110 --> 00:11:39,820
Thanks, Adam. I appreciate you
validating my feelings.
264
00:11:39,820 --> 00:11:41,450
What was that?
265
00:11:41,450 --> 00:11:43,450
I'm being Bonnie.
266
00:11:43,450 --> 00:11:45,950
(sputters)
Not even close.
267
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:48,120
First you got to make fun
of my hair.
268
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,120
What's wrong with your hair?
269
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,790
Thank you. Also,
270
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:53,370
it's louder, it's scarier
and more arm waving.
271
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:55,420
And if I make a good point,
272
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,000
you got to bring up something
that I did wrong two years ago.
273
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,550
Okay, so-so maybe just stop
at "I'm sorry."
274
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,300
Just "I'm sorry"?
I'm allowed to do that?
275
00:12:03,300 --> 00:12:04,300
Sure.
276
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,640
No, I'm asking Bonnie.
277
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:07,140
Am I allowed to do that?
278
00:12:07,140 --> 00:12:08,640
Oh, um...
279
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,480
Do whatever you want, Fluffy!
280
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:17,230
That was good, but you got
to get on your chair.
Oh.
281
00:12:17,230 --> 00:12:19,230
Yeah. Okay.
282
00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:27,320
I traded up.
283
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,830
Bonnie, I should've told you
that Sam was a woman.
284
00:12:31,830 --> 00:12:33,160
I was wrong,
285
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,210
and...
286
00:12:35,210 --> 00:12:37,000
I'm sorry.
287
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:42,130
And that's it.
288
00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:45,720
Gus, you're out.
289
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:50,010
Daddy's home and he's singing
the sweet, sweet music.
290
00:12:50,010 --> 00:12:51,350
So, we're good?
291
00:12:51,350 --> 00:12:53,180
Yeah. And I'm sorry, too.
292
00:12:53,180 --> 00:12:54,980
I should've stayed
out of your program.
293
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:57,020
It's definitely working for you.
For us.
294
00:12:57,020 --> 00:12:58,520
It is. It is.
295
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,360
So you're cool with me
having her as a sponsor?
296
00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,400
Couldn't be cooler. In fact,
it's great she's a woman.
297
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,780
She'll help you understand me.
She already has.
298
00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,530
She's the one that suggested
I say I'm sorry.
299
00:13:08,530 --> 00:13:09,700
Oh?
300
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:13,580
That was Sam's idea?
301
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:14,910
Yeah, she dropped
by the bar today
302
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,420
and she talked me through it.
303
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:20,540
Oh. She dropped by the bar?
304
00:13:20,540 --> 00:13:22,550
Yeah.
305
00:13:22,550 --> 00:13:25,720
How often does
she drop by the bar?
306
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,430
When she's in the neighborhood.
307
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:32,890
So she drops by the bar
308
00:13:32,890 --> 00:13:35,600
when she's in the neighborhood.
309
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:37,730
Mm-hmm.
310
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:40,730
And does she have a drink
when she drops by the bar
311
00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:42,400
'cause she's
in the neighborhood?
312
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,650
Oh, God.
313
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,610
You are so naive!
314
00:13:46,610 --> 00:13:48,320
I work a lot,
315
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:49,660
and it's on her way home.
316
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,120
It's totally innocent.
317
00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,450
No, you're totally innocent.
318
00:13:52,450 --> 00:13:54,450
This is exactly like
two years ago
319
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:57,460
with the thing when I was right.
320
00:13:57,460 --> 00:14:01,130
W-W-Wait, d-don't you meet
Marjorie at the bistro?
321
00:14:01,130 --> 00:14:04,300
Yes, where we sip soup loudly
in a brightly lit setting.
322
00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:06,720
Marjorie's got a napkin tucked
into her collar like a bib.
323
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,220
Is that what Sam's doing?
She got a bib tucked in there?
324
00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:11,260
Or is she sipping a Pinot
and sucking on her cigarette
325
00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:13,810
like it's, you know,
not a cigarette?
326
00:14:13,810 --> 00:14:16,430
I can't believe
you don't trust me.
327
00:14:16,430 --> 00:14:18,020
Oh, I trust you.
I don't trust her.
328
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,140
(stammers)
You don't even know her!
329
00:14:19,140 --> 00:14:21,020
Oh, I know her. I am her.
330
00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:23,440
Or I was her.
And I could still be her.
331
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,610
But because of you,
I'm me and she's her!
332
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,450
Wait. Wait, wait.
You have a male therapist
333
00:14:30,450 --> 00:14:32,370
who you meet alone in his house.
334
00:14:32,370 --> 00:14:33,870
Do I say anything about that?
335
00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,870
Well, maybe you should.
Uh-- Wait, what?
336
00:14:35,870 --> 00:14:37,290
No. He's a mess.
337
00:14:38,620 --> 00:14:40,290
You know, Sam
is helping me,
338
00:14:40,290 --> 00:14:41,790
and that's all
that should matter.
339
00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:44,130
Gus, you're back in!
340
00:14:50,050 --> 00:14:53,430
If I just put my head in this
pot, it would all be over.
341
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,600
Hey. Table four would like
to personally thank you
342
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,230
for their branzino.
343
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:03,770
Oh, would they?
Don't they know I'm in pain?
344
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:07,030
Did they really like it?
345
00:15:07,030 --> 00:15:08,990
Yes. And they want to tell you.
346
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:12,660
Have some Purell
waiting for me when I return.
347
00:15:18,540 --> 00:15:20,040
Hello, Tammy.
348
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,160
Hello, Rudy.
349
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,750
What are you doing here?
350
00:15:23,750 --> 00:15:25,750
I miss you.
351
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:27,840
I miss you, too.
352
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:30,130
In case you couldn't tell from
the texts and the click-clock.
353
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,760
(laughs)
354
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,260
I loved your video.
355
00:15:33,260 --> 00:15:34,300
You did?
(laughs):
Yeah.
356
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,760
Why didn't you tell me?
357
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,470
Well, a gal likes
to keep a guy guessing.
358
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,850
You know, it's part of the game.
359
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,230
Oh, the-the game?
360
00:15:40,230 --> 00:15:42,020
Yeah, you know,
the game, the dance.
361
00:15:42,020 --> 00:15:44,400
How I worked you up,
pretending not to be interested.
362
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,940
Oh, uh-- wh...
363
00:15:46,940 --> 00:15:49,530
So, you were playing me?
364
00:15:49,530 --> 00:15:50,900
All in fun.
365
00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:53,240
Oh, there was
nothing fun about it.
366
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:54,450
You tortured me.
367
00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:56,870
Only so we could get here, now.
368
00:15:56,870 --> 00:16:00,580
Tammy, I'm a person.
I have feelings.
369
00:16:00,580 --> 00:16:03,710
I wanted a actual
relationship with you,
370
00:16:03,710 --> 00:16:06,420
something significant,
something meaningful.
371
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:08,090
So did I.
372
00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:09,840
Please don't be upset.
373
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:12,420
It's too late.
374
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,350
Wow.
375
00:16:22,350 --> 00:16:24,730
That did not go well.
376
00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:27,940
Are you kidding? I have her
right where I want her!
377
00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:30,440
And now the real game has begun!
378
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,030
Damn it.
379
00:16:36,030 --> 00:16:38,740
Adam, if a woman sent you
a text as a lady panda
380
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:41,580
with super long eyelashes,
you would text her back, right?
381
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,250
I don't know. I find
flirty animals confusing.
382
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,580
Rudy's driving me insane.
383
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:49,250
I can't stop looking
at my phone. Here, you take it.
384
00:16:49,250 --> 00:16:51,130
No matter what I do,
no matter what I say, no matter
385
00:16:51,130 --> 00:16:53,340
how much I beg,
do not give it back to me.
386
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:54,590
Okay.
387
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:55,930
Give it back to me.
388
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:57,090
Okay.
389
00:16:57,090 --> 00:16:59,260
(mouthing)
390
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:01,770
Hey.
391
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:04,100
Hey, I didn't expect to see you.
392
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:05,690
I was on my way
back from a meeting
393
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:07,900
and I hadn't heard from you,
so I thought I'd check in.
394
00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:09,150
How'd it go with Bonnie?
395
00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,770
I took your advice,
396
00:17:10,770 --> 00:17:12,780
and at first it went great.
397
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,200
Oh, no. You went past sorry.
398
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,950
(stammers)
Just a little.
399
00:17:17,950 --> 00:17:19,820
(sighs)
Why can't men learn?
400
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:22,830
Once things are good,
stop talking.
401
00:17:22,830 --> 00:17:25,290
Why can't women learn
that men don't learn?
402
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:26,960
(laughs)
403
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,580
Uh, listen,
I-I thought
404
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:30,750
if she knew that my apology
was your idea,
405
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:33,050
that she'd realize
how much you've been helping me.
406
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,720
This is why I tell my sponsees:
stick to the script.
407
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,720
Don't veer from the script.
408
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,010
Yeah, I know. It's just, you
know, I don't want to feel tense
409
00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:41,850
every time I bring your name up.
410
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:44,560
I mean, does your husband have a
problem with you sponsoring men?
411
00:17:44,560 --> 00:17:47,600
No. He has a problem
with everything else I do.
412
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,980
But if you ever meet him,
don't tell him I said that.
413
00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:51,820
Noted.
414
00:17:51,820 --> 00:17:54,480
And if you ever meet Bonnie...
415
00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,900
Well, there's no way
to talk you through that one.
416
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,740
(laughs)
417
00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:01,320
How about we agree to never
meet each other's spouses?
418
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,330
Deal.
419
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:03,490
(chuckles)
420
00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:11,170
What's happening?
421
00:18:16,340 --> 00:18:18,340
(sighs)
422
00:18:21,550 --> 00:18:23,220
(exhales)
423
00:18:23,220 --> 00:18:25,390
You were right.
424
00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:28,890
Damn it! This is not how I want
to look when I'm right.
425
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,810
Yeah. I'll tell you again
tomorrow.
426
00:18:38,190 --> 00:18:41,060
(groans) I can't believe
Rudy's still ghosting me.
427
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:43,110
Isn't that what you did to him?
428
00:18:43,110 --> 00:18:44,900
Yeah, but I did it as a game.
429
00:18:45,940 --> 00:18:47,780
Um, hello.
430
00:18:49,410 --> 00:18:51,570
Oh, my God.
431
00:18:51,570 --> 00:18:54,740
That crazy, sexy genius.
432
00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:58,250
The puppeteer
has become the puppet.
433
00:18:58,250 --> 00:19:00,250
Owen's doing
the same thing to me.
434
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:02,210
He's playing so hard to get,
435
00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:04,340
I saw him making out with
someone else during my share.
436
00:19:04,340 --> 00:19:05,960
(sighs)
437
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:09,010
Well, Rudy leaves me no choice.
Take my phone.
438
00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:11,590
No matter what I say,
do not give it back to me.
439
00:19:11,590 --> 00:19:13,470
But doesn't that just mean
neither of you
440
00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:14,850
are speaking to each other?
441
00:19:14,850 --> 00:19:17,980
Oh, Christy, do you know
nothing of love?
442
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:22,860
Oh, look. It's Owen.
443
00:19:22,860 --> 00:19:24,270
(scoffs)
444
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:26,780
Dude...
445
00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:28,900
get over me.
31289
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