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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,550 --> 00:00:07,010 Good morning, Bonnie. 2 00:00:07,010 --> 00:00:10,310 Is it? 'Cause it looks like you've been robbed. 3 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:11,970 You could call it that. 4 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,980 My wife and I have been aggressively uncoupling. 5 00:00:16,690 --> 00:00:18,150 What? 6 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,150 Just seeing if there's a Post-it on your balls. 7 00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:23,940 Oh, she took those long ago. 8 00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:26,160 All right, let's punch this hog. 9 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,200 I really need your help with something. 10 00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:30,330 Yeah? What's that? I don't want to die. 11 00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:35,080 I do, so that sort of evens things up. 12 00:00:39,460 --> 00:00:42,710 I mean, think about it-- I've only got 40 or 50 years left. 13 00:00:42,710 --> 00:00:45,090 How old do you think you are? 14 00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:46,840 You know what? You're right, it's over. 15 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,220 And maybe that's good. 16 00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,010 Oh, sharp turn. 17 00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,390 Who wants to be alive to see 18 00:00:51,390 --> 00:00:53,020 everything go completely to hell? 19 00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,930 I mean, Christy's never gonna get married. 20 00:00:54,930 --> 00:00:56,690 Adam's gonna go bald. It's already starting. 21 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,690 In the back, you can see through the cotton candy. 22 00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,150 Global warming. Sure, we're having great weather, 23 00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:04,280 but you know it's only happening 'cause the Earth's 24 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,070 slowly spinning towards the sun till we're all bacon. 25 00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:09,030 I don't... 26 00:01:09,030 --> 00:01:11,780 What channels do you watch? 27 00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:13,830 Nothing right now, 'cause our TV's broken, 28 00:01:13,830 --> 00:01:15,870 probably forever. Okay, okay, 29 00:01:15,870 --> 00:01:18,370 let's just take a little breath. (exhales) 30 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:20,420 Do you remember those techniques I gave you 31 00:01:20,420 --> 00:01:22,090 to help with your negative thoughts? 32 00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:23,210 What did you think? 33 00:01:25,010 --> 00:01:27,050 P.U. 34 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:30,090 Did you actually try them? Yes, Trevor. 35 00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,510 I even lit a candle and wrote a note to my younger self 36 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:34,100 and then burned it. 37 00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:37,100 That's not psychology, Bonnie, that's witchcraft. 38 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:38,560 Well, none of it worked. 39 00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:40,980 Okay, well, I'll get you another copy, and... 40 00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:43,610 Hold on a second. 41 00:01:43,610 --> 00:01:46,530 Where's my snow globe? What? 42 00:01:46,530 --> 00:01:49,820 Yeah, I had an AT&T Park snow globe from 2010 43 00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:52,070 when the Giants won the World Series. 44 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,580 Damn it, Sandra, 45 00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:56,660 you only took that to hurt me. 46 00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:59,410 I'm gonna level with you-- this is a little rough to watch. 47 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,540 All right, here's the negativity techniques. 48 00:02:01,540 --> 00:02:04,250 Try 'em, don't try 'em. See if I care. 49 00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,840 I-I'm sorry, that was terribly unprofessional. 50 00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:12,090 It is very important that you try these techniques. 51 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,300 It's okay if you're a little off your game. 52 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,520 Some crazy broad just stole your toy. 53 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:21,480 It's not a toy. It's a collectible. 54 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:34,460 For our special side, we have roasted brussels sprouts 55 00:02:34,460 --> 00:02:36,500 with guanciale in a maple glaze. 56 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:40,510 That's right, I made these nasty little fart balls delicious. 57 00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:43,550 Brilliant. No one will realize they're paying 20 bucks 58 00:02:43,550 --> 00:02:46,680 for a stomachache and an awkward ride home. 59 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:49,430 Oof, what's on the menu tonight, feet? 60 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:50,930 (laughing) 61 00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,690 And when will Bob the Builder be leaving us? 62 00:02:56,690 --> 00:02:59,860 Hey. You're the one who took a pill you found in your pocket 63 00:02:59,860 --> 00:03:01,320 and destroyed the walk-in. 64 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:03,570 Well, in my defense, there was a dragon in there. 65 00:03:03,570 --> 00:03:07,120 Yeah. It was a very good pill. 66 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:11,080 Seriously, either turn on a fan or eighty-six that funk. 67 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,200 (laughing) 68 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:13,290 Paul. 69 00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:14,500 Would you like 70 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,960 to go back to working at Chipotle? 71 00:03:18,250 --> 00:03:21,340 Look, uh... Tammy. 72 00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:22,960 No, I wasn't searching for your name. 73 00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,630 I was looking for words that you could understand. 74 00:03:27,430 --> 00:03:28,720 Ah. Uh, here we go. 75 00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,350 Uh, you no think good. 76 00:03:32,350 --> 00:03:35,180 Stand still. I'm gonna fold your lips over your forehead. 77 00:03:35,180 --> 00:03:38,190 Okay, Tammy, he needs his lips, I need my tips-- 78 00:03:38,190 --> 00:03:40,520 let's go back to work. 79 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:43,740 What's that Rudy guy's deal? 80 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:44,900 I know, he's an ass. 81 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:46,320 He's a gigantic ass. 82 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,820 Is he single? 83 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:51,580 What? I had to separate you. 84 00:03:51,580 --> 00:03:53,450 Yeah, you did. 85 00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,750 I don't understand. 86 00:03:54,750 --> 00:03:56,580 You were insulting each other. 87 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,960 It's called flirting, Christy. 88 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:01,210 No wonder you don't have a man. 89 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:02,750 Listen to me. 90 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:04,920 He's bad news. 91 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,930 Oh, I get it-- you're into him! 92 00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:10,010 No. No, no, no, no, no. 93 00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,850 No! Yeah! You want him for yourself! 94 00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:13,220 No, I don't! (laughs) 95 00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,220 Methinks you protest too much. 96 00:04:15,220 --> 00:04:16,850 Methinks me would jump off a building 97 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:18,600 before me would let him touch me. 98 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:19,730 So you've thought about it. 99 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,240 Whatcha doing there? 100 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,530 Trevor told me to write down my negative thoughts 101 00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:31,160 and then write a positive thought after it. 102 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,200 God, my handwriting is so terrible. 103 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,120 (groans) That's a negative thought. 104 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,950 Now I need a positive one. 105 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:39,120 Wendy, any ideas? 106 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,580 You look nice today. 107 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,420 I... 108 00:04:42,420 --> 00:04:45,050 like Wendy. 109 00:04:45,050 --> 00:04:46,550 Thanks. I like you, too. 110 00:04:46,550 --> 00:04:48,880 All right, we don't have to make out. 111 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,180 Bonnie, therapy's great, 112 00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,010 but, you know, a lot of that negativity 113 00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:55,890 could also be worked on right here in this program. 114 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:58,020 I find meditation is the best way 115 00:04:58,020 --> 00:05:00,230 to deal with my dark and twisty thoughts. 116 00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,900 Oh, come on. What's a dark thought for you? 117 00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:07,070 That I'll die and no one will take my cats, 118 00:05:07,070 --> 00:05:10,150 and after a while they'll start to eat each other. 119 00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,780 Anybody want a cookie? 120 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,080 Yikes. 121 00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:20,250 She has a point-- none of us are taking her cats. 122 00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,920 You know, I've been meditating 20 minutes in the morning 123 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,090 and 20 minutes at night, and I can really see a difference. 124 00:05:26,090 --> 00:05:28,630 Ain't nothin' gonna quiet the riot in this mind. 125 00:05:28,630 --> 00:05:30,680 Come on, Bonnie, be nice to yourself. 126 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,760 Wendy... 127 00:05:31,760 --> 00:05:33,180 I'm married. 128 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,470 (TV show playing indistinctly) 129 00:05:37,470 --> 00:05:39,890 Are we really this desperate to watch TV? 130 00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:43,100 Well, we could talk to each other. 131 00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:45,610 Stop tilting it. I can't see. 132 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:48,610 Hey. 133 00:05:48,610 --> 00:05:49,990 How was work? 134 00:05:49,990 --> 00:05:51,450 Upsetting. 135 00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:53,660 Tammy's got a crush on Chef Rudy. 136 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,780 Chef Rudy? 137 00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:55,950 Chef Rudy. 138 00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:57,330 What's wrong with Chef Rudy? 139 00:05:57,330 --> 00:05:59,620 By the way, can we just call him Rudy? 140 00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,330 He sleeps with women, then dumps them. 141 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:04,330 I told Tammy absolutely no way can she go out with him. 142 00:06:04,330 --> 00:06:07,170 You can't do that. You can't tell an alcoholic no. 143 00:06:07,170 --> 00:06:08,750 They hear, "I dare you." 144 00:06:10,510 --> 00:06:13,130 Look what happened when you told me not to go out with Adam. 145 00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:14,470 Wait, what? 146 00:06:14,470 --> 00:06:16,350 I never told you not to go out with him. 147 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:18,640 Then why did I? Hang on a second. 148 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,180 No, no, somebody had to say, "Don't date him." 149 00:06:21,180 --> 00:06:24,980 There's no way I ended up with him if I didn't get pushback. 150 00:06:24,980 --> 00:06:26,980 Oh, you think I should've told Tammy, 151 00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:29,320 "Oh, Chef Rudy's great! Go for it!" 152 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,030 Again, we don't say "Bartender Adam" 153 00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,150 or "Building Manager Bonnie." 154 00:06:33,150 --> 00:06:34,700 I mean, would that have worked with you 155 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:35,990 when you dated Chef Rudy? 156 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:37,830 Whoa, whoa. You dated Chef Rudy? 157 00:06:37,830 --> 00:06:39,580 One date. 158 00:06:39,580 --> 00:06:42,500 Oh. So, like, nothing physical. 159 00:06:45,170 --> 00:06:47,000 One date. 160 00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:49,880 (whirring) 161 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,090 (whirring continues) 162 00:06:52,090 --> 00:06:53,510 (whirring stops) 163 00:06:55,840 --> 00:06:57,010 (whirring resumes) 164 00:06:57,010 --> 00:06:58,350 (whirring stops) 165 00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:01,970 (whirring resumes) 166 00:07:03,020 --> 00:07:04,190 Good God! 167 00:07:04,390 --> 00:07:06,050 I can be louder than you. 168 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:08,970 You got a problem? 169 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:12,140 Yes. How am I supposed to create a pretentious menu 170 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,190 to your symphony of blue-collar noises? 171 00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:18,900 (whirring) You mean this? This bothering you? Eh? 172 00:07:18,900 --> 00:07:21,240 I don't know. I don't see it. Really? Why? 173 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,450 Christy. 174 00:07:22,450 --> 00:07:24,280 Would you please return this woman 175 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,070 to whatever Home Depot parking lot you found her. 176 00:07:29,330 --> 00:07:31,750 And tell this Top Chef first round loser-- 177 00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:33,750 that's right, I googled you-- 178 00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:35,080 that I will leave 179 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,420 when I'm finished fixing the mess he made. 180 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:40,750 If that's the only thing you found, you don't google right. 181 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,260 She's a horrible person. 182 00:07:44,260 --> 00:07:46,760 Good. Good. Yes, she is. 183 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,550 Strange response. 184 00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,430 Why would you want me not to like your friend? 185 00:07:51,430 --> 00:07:53,430 No, it isn't. Aha! 186 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,440 What is it? 187 00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:59,520 You're only supposed to say "aha" if you know what it is. 188 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,530 So there is something. There's nothing. 189 00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:03,280 Aha! Stop that! 190 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,950 You're hiding something. 191 00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:07,530 Your freakishly large eyes have suddenly gone small. 192 00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:11,200 My eyes are exactly the right size. 193 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,120 Can we just talk about the menu? 194 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,620 Okay. I'm thinking for the fish special... 195 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:19,210 Oh, sweet Paula Deen, Tammy digs me. 196 00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:22,130 What? No! No! 197 00:08:22,130 --> 00:08:23,170 No! 198 00:08:23,170 --> 00:08:24,840 Oh, my God! 199 00:08:26,630 --> 00:08:29,300 How did you do that so fast? 200 00:08:29,300 --> 00:08:30,550 (grunts) 201 00:08:30,550 --> 00:08:31,720 (whirring) 202 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,310 Breathe in love. 203 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,650 (both inhale) 204 00:08:39,650 --> 00:08:41,190 Breathe out Bonnie. 205 00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:43,280 (both exhale) 206 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:44,780 Breathe in love. 207 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,740 Breathe out Bonnie. 208 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:49,320 This is so boring. 209 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,160 Breathe out more Bonnie. 210 00:08:52,620 --> 00:08:55,620 (exhales slowly) 211 00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,630 (inhales loudly) 212 00:09:00,630 --> 00:09:03,670 Ooh, head rush. Let's do that again. 213 00:09:03,670 --> 00:09:05,340 Okay, let's do something new. 214 00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,800 We're gonna take ten breaths, 215 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,340 and you're not gonna talk. 216 00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:10,340 Great idea. 217 00:09:10,340 --> 00:09:11,680 (both inhale) 218 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,180 (both exhale) 219 00:09:14,180 --> 00:09:16,020 One. No counting. 220 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:31,530 (instrumental music playing loudly) 221 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,040 (music stops) 222 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:37,250 Sorry. 223 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:39,620 Do you want my help or not? 224 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:42,380 I do. I do. Let me just toss this at you. 225 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:44,000 Can we meditate in the Jacuzzi? 226 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,130 (groans) Come on, Bonnie. 227 00:09:46,130 --> 00:09:48,260 I cleared my afternoon for you. 228 00:09:48,260 --> 00:09:50,630 You "cleared it"? What did that involve? 229 00:09:50,630 --> 00:09:53,800 Moving your pony ride to tomorrow? 230 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,930 Actually, I rescheduled a meeting 231 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:58,060 with the charity I'm hosting the benefit for. 232 00:09:58,060 --> 00:09:59,520 Children's diabetes. 233 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,020 Make fun of that. 234 00:10:01,020 --> 00:10:02,940 More candy for me. 235 00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,570 Boom. 236 00:10:06,570 --> 00:10:08,570 You only ding it in the beginning. 237 00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:12,620 Okay, I am out of here! 238 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,370 Give me that! Oh! 239 00:10:18,660 --> 00:10:21,170 I am throwing your shoes in the pool! 240 00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:24,420 (shoes splash) 241 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,060 She was pretty pissed off at me. 242 00:10:31,060 --> 00:10:35,440 But in my defense, who has $600 meditation shoes? 243 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,900 What's with the getup? 244 00:10:38,900 --> 00:10:41,070 You and Beaver Cleaver going hunting for bullfrogs? 245 00:10:41,070 --> 00:10:43,400 (laughs) 246 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,740 Oh, I'm so tired of you. 247 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:48,740 Let's stay on Jill. 248 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:50,740 So, it seems to me like she was right. 249 00:10:50,740 --> 00:10:52,290 You didn't go there for meditation. 250 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,370 Whoa! Is this why your wife flew the coop? 251 00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:55,750 You didn't have her back, either? 252 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,170 This is your pattern, Bonnie. 253 00:10:57,170 --> 00:10:59,210 You complain and complain and complain. 254 00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,670 You're offered the tools to help, and you don't use them. 255 00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:02,920 Why am I taking your advice? 256 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,420 Your life's a total mess. 257 00:11:04,420 --> 00:11:06,010 Now you're picking a fight with me. 258 00:11:06,010 --> 00:11:07,890 There's a term for people like you. 259 00:11:07,890 --> 00:11:10,350 Watch it, buddy. I am still a lady. 260 00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:12,430 You're a help-rejecting complainer. 261 00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:13,890 You just made that up. 262 00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:16,350 I did not. And if this was last week, 263 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:19,060 I could've showed you where it came from in a book, 264 00:11:19,060 --> 00:11:22,780 but it's on its way to a new life in Portland by now. 265 00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,150 Well, I don't need you to call me names. 266 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,490 I need you to help me. 267 00:11:25,490 --> 00:11:26,990 It's the one thing you've never done. 268 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,120 You know what? You're fired. 269 00:11:30,700 --> 00:11:33,450 Congratulations. I'm crazier than when I started. 270 00:11:33,450 --> 00:11:34,790 (door slams) 271 00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:37,460 You see a pattern here? Women leaving? 272 00:11:39,790 --> 00:11:43,170 I prepared for you a savory aebleskive. 273 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:47,380 In honor of what I can only presume 274 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,470 were your Viking ancestors. 275 00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:50,850 Well, I am part Danish. 276 00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:52,560 The rest of me is pure mutt. (chuckles) 277 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:53,850 Pure... (purrs) 278 00:11:53,850 --> 00:11:55,140 (laughs) 279 00:11:56,180 --> 00:11:57,560 Mmm! 280 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,730 Tastes like a fancy pancake. 281 00:11:59,730 --> 00:12:01,230 If only the critic at The Chronicle 282 00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,980 had your discerning palate. 283 00:12:03,980 --> 00:12:05,820 So, did you always want to be a chef? 284 00:12:05,820 --> 00:12:08,490 No. I hated cooking growing up. 285 00:12:08,490 --> 00:12:10,990 I wanted to be a dancer. 286 00:12:10,990 --> 00:12:14,620 But I was cursed to be terrible at the thing I loved 287 00:12:14,620 --> 00:12:16,500 and great at the thing I hated. 288 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,870 That's so sad. 289 00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:21,040 It is. Also, my father burned my tap shoes. 290 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,840 Did you always want to be a goddess/carpenter? 291 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,630 You know, my life's had a lot of twists and turns. 292 00:12:28,630 --> 00:12:30,760 It's only recently that I've really been able to think 293 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:32,010 about what I want to be. 294 00:12:32,010 --> 00:12:33,470 I mean, I do love carpentry, 295 00:12:33,470 --> 00:12:35,520 but, I don't know, the goddess in me 296 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,850 might need to find something a little more fulfilling. 297 00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:39,850 Well, maybe if we put our lips together, 298 00:12:39,850 --> 00:12:41,850 we could think of something. 299 00:12:43,610 --> 00:12:45,530 Sorry, I hadn't fully swallowed yet. 300 00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:47,490 It's okay. My food is more delicious 301 00:12:47,490 --> 00:12:49,400 when it's in your mouth. Oh. Mm. 302 00:12:50,450 --> 00:12:51,910 Oh! (laughs) 303 00:12:51,910 --> 00:12:53,280 Too rough? 304 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:55,120 No. This would be too rough. 305 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,120 Ow! (purrs) 306 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:00,210 Should I lock the door? 307 00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:02,420 Already did. 308 00:13:02,420 --> 00:13:04,920 (laughs) 309 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,510 (exhales) 310 00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:09,220 Okay. 311 00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,380 Couple of updates. We are running low on almond milk. 312 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:13,010 Also, I fired Trevor. 313 00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:15,810 What was that? 314 00:13:15,810 --> 00:13:17,680 Nothing. Nothing. 315 00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:22,060 Just out of curiosity, though, 316 00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:24,730 why would you fire your therapist? 317 00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:27,400 'Cause you're all better? 318 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,150 (Adam snorts) 319 00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,950 What was that? 320 00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:33,110 A derisive snort. 321 00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:34,620 If you must know, I've grown weary 322 00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:36,450 of his hiding behind labels. 323 00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:40,580 He had the audacity to call me a help-rejecting complainer. 324 00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:45,170 Do that again, see what happens. 325 00:13:45,170 --> 00:13:47,880 I'm just thinking you've been pretty good lately, 326 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,090 and Trevor was maybe part of that. 327 00:13:51,090 --> 00:13:53,130 Yeah, your therapy was really helping me. 328 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,640 You. Us. 329 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,310 The family. 330 00:13:58,310 --> 00:14:00,180 It's not. It's over. 331 00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:02,270 And you can fluff this up all you want, pal. 332 00:14:02,270 --> 00:14:04,270 You can see right through it! 333 00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,820 Can I have a non-lunatic opinion? 334 00:14:09,820 --> 00:14:12,150 Oh, you're good. 335 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,490 (mouths) 336 00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,620 Lamaze class. 337 00:14:23,620 --> 00:14:25,290 They're showing them the movie. 338 00:14:25,290 --> 00:14:27,710 Yeah. The men are looking pretty shell-shocked. 339 00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:49,480 Listen, I don't want to hold on to this anger. 340 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:51,730 You are who you are, and you're never gonna change, 341 00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:52,990 and I love you. 342 00:14:53,990 --> 00:14:55,990 And I love you. 343 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:59,990 And I know you're not gonna change. 344 00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:05,500 And you're not gonna change. 345 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:10,500 And you will never change. 346 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,840 There you are not changing. 347 00:15:14,340 --> 00:15:16,340 And you. 348 00:15:20,430 --> 00:15:22,430 (man exhales) 349 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:24,770 Don't be a hero. Get the epidural. 350 00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:27,440 They say you forget the pain when you see the face. 351 00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:29,360 You don't. Get the epidural. 352 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,200 Look, you were just trying to help, 353 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:39,240 and I may have rejected that while also complaining. 354 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,410 In my defense, I have been diagnosed 355 00:15:41,410 --> 00:15:43,540 as a help-rejecting complainer. 356 00:15:43,540 --> 00:15:46,120 Or you're just an alcoholic 357 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,370 who doesn't always want to live in the solution. 358 00:15:48,370 --> 00:15:51,880 I am many things to many people. 359 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:53,550 Look, 360 00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:57,050 I know meditation almost led us to blows, 361 00:15:57,050 --> 00:15:59,550 but I want to try again even though it'll never work. 362 00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:02,970 I bet you four hours in my Jacuzzi it does. 363 00:16:02,970 --> 00:16:05,430 See, now, where was that Saturday? 364 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:08,440 So, what are tonight's specials? 365 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,730 Tonight's special is love. 366 00:16:11,770 --> 00:16:13,270 Great. Is that 367 00:16:13,270 --> 00:16:15,820 with or without fart balls? 368 00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:17,240 That's right, I forgot. 369 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,070 You have never sipped from Cupid's sweet goblet. 370 00:16:20,070 --> 00:16:22,620 So, we doing a pork chop? 371 00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,950 Paul, is that a pork chop? 372 00:16:23,950 --> 00:16:25,750 What's Tammy's favorite flower? 373 00:16:25,750 --> 00:16:27,080 I don't know. 374 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,750 I do. It's daffodils. We talked all night. 375 00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:31,170 Take this to her. 376 00:16:31,170 --> 00:16:32,670 Does she know the specials? 377 00:16:32,670 --> 00:16:34,920 Quickly. Wings of love. 378 00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:43,010 I'm guessing things went pretty good. Oh. 379 00:16:43,010 --> 00:16:44,350 It was awesome. 380 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:46,060 Best date I ever had. 381 00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,770 I have to break up with him. 382 00:16:47,770 --> 00:16:49,980 What? Why? Mm. 383 00:16:49,980 --> 00:16:52,360 I mean, yay, but huh? 384 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,650 The night was pure romance, and the face eating 385 00:16:54,650 --> 00:16:56,570 was everything a girl could dream of, 386 00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:59,280 but I'm not ready to settle down. 387 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,410 And that's the kind of guy you marry. 388 00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:02,570 It is? 389 00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:04,780 Kills me to have to break his heart. 390 00:17:04,780 --> 00:17:06,080 It does? 391 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,250 He's the most sensitive man I've ever met. 392 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,580 He is? 393 00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,290 Now I see why you're so in love with him. 394 00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:12,290 Aha! 395 00:17:12,290 --> 00:17:13,460 That's not an "aha." 396 00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:15,500 Put that "aha" away. 397 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:19,260 I have one more daffodil hidden somewhere on my body. 398 00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:22,220 Care to lead the search party? 399 00:17:22,220 --> 00:17:24,010 Rudy, we need to talk. 400 00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:28,140 RUDY: No...! 401 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,310 I think Tammy just broke up with Chef Rudy. 402 00:17:32,310 --> 00:17:34,770 Good news for you. You're so in love with him. 403 00:17:41,490 --> 00:17:43,820 Hi. Chris Peterson from Pete Peterson Real Estate. 404 00:17:43,820 --> 00:17:44,990 Pete's my dad. 405 00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:48,410 Listing sheet? 406 00:17:48,410 --> 00:17:50,080 Panic room? 407 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,670 Why does my shrink have a panic room? 408 00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:55,290 I don't know, but it would make a great nursery. 409 00:17:58,750 --> 00:18:00,210 TREVOR: Leave me alone, Chris! 410 00:18:00,210 --> 00:18:03,340 Pete. Whichever Peterson you are. 411 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,180 Oh. 412 00:18:07,180 --> 00:18:08,720 What are you doing here? 413 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:10,270 It's Tuesday. My 10:00 a.m. 414 00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:12,520 You fired me last week. 415 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,850 If you're gonna be my therapist, 416 00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:15,480 you can't listen to everything I say. 417 00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,860 Okay. Have a seat. 418 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,530 I brought you something. 419 00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,030 eBay. 420 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:28,030 There's a chance I may have bought it from your wife. 421 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,870 But anyway, here. 422 00:18:31,870 --> 00:18:33,870 Bonnie. 423 00:18:33,870 --> 00:18:35,540 Thank you. 424 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:37,210 So... 425 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:40,210 So impossibly thoughtful. (chuckles) 426 00:18:40,210 --> 00:18:42,210 And it's just... 427 00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:45,130 so weird you did it. 428 00:18:45,130 --> 00:18:47,220 It gets weirder. 429 00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:49,260 I'm sorry. 430 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:52,060 Wow. Those are words I haven't heard from a woman 431 00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:53,770 in a long time. 432 00:18:53,770 --> 00:18:55,770 The other day, I said you hadn't helped me, 433 00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,400 but that isn't true. 434 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,940 And judging from the terror in my family's eyes, 435 00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:02,070 I probably ought to stick with this. 436 00:19:07,740 --> 00:19:09,580 Sorry. 437 00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,370 Before you start the clock, 438 00:19:11,370 --> 00:19:14,080 I wanted to ask, why do you have a panic room? 439 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,080 Because I work with unstable people. 440 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,710 When did you get it? 441 00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:19,250 About eight months ago. 442 00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:21,250 We started working together eight months ago. 443 00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:27,760 I love this. Thank you. 444 00:19:34,820 --> 00:19:37,280 Table four says their pasta is too salty. 445 00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,070 It's from my tears. 446 00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:44,910 Well, can you refire and hold the boo-hoo? 447 00:19:44,910 --> 00:19:47,790 Why bother? Nothing has any meaning anymore. 448 00:19:47,790 --> 00:19:50,750 Tell your tables to go home and eat a Hot Pocket. 449 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,880 Look, I know you're going through something, 450 00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:54,960 but do you think you can pull it together? 451 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:56,760 You're right. I'm sorry. 452 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:58,380 I shouldn't do this in front of you, 453 00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:00,300 given how you ache for me. 454 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,300 One more time. 455 00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,970 I do not love you. 456 00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:06,260 I have no feelings for you whatsoever. 457 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:09,480 I am not aching for you in any way. 458 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:10,730 Oh, Christy. 459 00:20:10,730 --> 00:20:13,810 Teach me how to pretend like you. 32123

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