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1
00:00:01,300 --> 00:00:03,000
Candy cane pie
is so good.
2
00:00:03,130 --> 00:00:05,230
I wish they served it
all year round.
3
00:00:05,230 --> 00:00:08,140
I think the reason we love
candy canes so much is
4
00:00:08,140 --> 00:00:09,970
because they give
you the same feeling
5
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:12,510
as rubbing coke
on your gums.
6
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:15,310
It kind of does.
7
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:19,320
And I won't be up vacuuming
naked at 3:00 in the morning.
8
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,650
I know what I want
for Christmas.
9
00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:23,850
A videotape of Marjorie
on cocaine.
10
00:00:23,850 --> 00:00:25,120
Well, there wouldn't
be videos.
11
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:27,790
It'd be chiseled
on a cave wall.
12
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,730
What are you guys doing
on Christmas Eve?
13
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,160
Anyone want to come caroling
with me and my church group?
14
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:36,000
(to "Deck the Halls"):
♪ No, no-no, no, no-no, no-no. ♪
15
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,700
But thanks for asking.
16
00:00:39,700 --> 00:00:41,770
Ah, I wish we could,
but we've got plans.
17
00:00:41,770 --> 00:00:43,070
With each other.
18
00:00:43,070 --> 00:00:44,840
On Christmas.
Can you believe it?
19
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:47,940
Adam's working, so we're gonna
make gingerbread houses
20
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:50,010
and watch movies
in matching jammies.
21
00:00:50,010 --> 00:00:51,910
You don't know how
hard it was
22
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:54,920
to find footie pajamas
in her size.
23
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,150
Or how easy it was
to find 'em in hers.
24
00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:00,220
Well, if anybody wants
to come sing,
25
00:01:00,220 --> 00:01:02,760
we hit Bluebird Lane
around 7:00.
26
00:01:02,760 --> 00:01:04,630
(ringtone playing)
Oh, it's my sponsee.
27
00:01:04,630 --> 00:01:06,960
I have to take it.
She totally relies on me.
28
00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:09,700
Hi, Patty. How can
I put my life on hold
29
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,230
while I help
you today?
30
00:01:12,230 --> 00:01:14,700
She calls her
four times a day.
31
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:18,170
Well, I'm gonna be calling you
a ton 'cause I'm in freefall.
32
00:01:18,170 --> 00:01:21,780
Andy took off to Minnesota to
spend Christmas with his mother.
33
00:01:21,780 --> 00:01:22,980
Well, why didn't
you go with him?
34
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,750
There's lots of
reasons, Tammy.
35
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,180
The big one being
he didn't invite me.
36
00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:29,150
I mean, if you
and I were dating,
37
00:01:29,150 --> 00:01:31,090
and you were going
home for the holidays,
38
00:01:31,090 --> 00:01:32,660
you would take me,
wouldn't you?
39
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,190
It depends.
Are we exclusive?
40
00:01:34,190 --> 00:01:36,790
Does every date end
in a sleepover?
41
00:01:36,790 --> 00:01:38,430
Have we taken
a bath together?
42
00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:40,330
Yes to all three.
43
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:42,800
Well, then I would
definitely take you home
44
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:44,930
and parade you around
the local Applebee's.
45
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,100
Oh, I don't know
what Applebee's is,
46
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,970
but Tammy's a
good boyfriend.
47
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:51,670
Patty's going through
a rough patch,
48
00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:54,240
so I invited her to
spend Christmas with us.
49
00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,050
Oh. Well,
50
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,680
Christmas with me,
my mom and a stranger.
51
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,020
Not the first time.
Mm.
52
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,750
In fact, why doesn't everyone
come over Christmas Eve?
53
00:02:03,750 --> 00:02:05,720
It might help
cheer Patty up.
54
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,120
You want to go
to this party, baby?
55
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:09,690
'Cause if you not,
we can stay home and snuggle.
56
00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:24,610
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What are you doing?
57
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:25,870
I'm setting up
the coffee.
58
00:02:25,870 --> 00:02:28,010
But everything's
all higgledy-piggledy.
59
00:02:28,010 --> 00:02:29,680
Look, I didn't
go to college.
60
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:30,410
What does that mean?
61
00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:33,650
It means
the stir sticks go here,
62
00:02:33,650 --> 00:02:35,850
and the sweeteners go here.
63
00:02:35,850 --> 00:02:37,150
Talk about higgy-wiggy.
64
00:02:37,150 --> 00:02:38,720
I mean, most people
are right-handed.
65
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,620
It makes more sense
to do it this way.
66
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:41,790
Ugh. But we're alcoholics.
67
00:02:41,790 --> 00:02:43,630
You can't just
go changing things,
68
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:44,760
'cause we don't like change!
69
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:46,260
Look, Bonnie's
running a little late.
70
00:02:46,260 --> 00:02:48,760
She asked me to handle
it. I'm handling it!
Okay.
71
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,570
Marjorie, can you tell Tammy
to stop moving the stir sticks!
72
00:02:51,570 --> 00:02:53,970
Oh, God, she moved
the stir sticks?
73
00:02:53,970 --> 00:02:55,800
No!
74
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,170
And this is where
we have our meetings.
75
00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,710
It's also where
they have
76
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:03,180
bingo, country line dancing
and, uh, CPR classes.
77
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:06,780
I came on the wrong day once,
and now I can Heimlich a baby.
78
00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:08,580
My baby's eight
years old.
79
00:03:08,580 --> 00:03:10,020
I'm not allowed
to see her.
80
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:10,850
Nice job, Christy.
81
00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:14,220
Everyone, this is Patty,
my sponsee.
82
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:15,860
Come meet Patty, my sponsee.
83
00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:18,790
Patty, this is Marjorie,
Jill, Tammy, Wendy.
84
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:21,630
This is my sponsee, Patty,
the woman who I sponsor.
85
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:23,330
Hi.
Hi.
Welcome.
86
00:03:23,330 --> 00:03:24,800
Hi. Nice to meet you.
87
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,340
I'm gonna sit down.
88
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,540
If you think she seems sad now,
89
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,910
you should have seen her before
I started working my magic.
90
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:35,040
Okay, what dumbass got
creative with the stir sticks?
91
00:03:37,610 --> 00:03:39,680
I thought I was handling
my boyfriend abandoning me
92
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,180
at Christmas pretty well.
93
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:44,620
But then he sent me a picture
of him and his mom.
94
00:03:44,620 --> 00:03:45,990
S-Sweet, right?
95
00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:48,590
But if you zoom in
close on his left arm,
96
00:03:48,590 --> 00:03:50,260
you can clearly see
three fingers
97
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:53,330
that belong to a lady
who was obviously cropped out.
98
00:03:53,330 --> 00:03:57,270
Um, I'm trying not to obsess
over what is probably nothing,
99
00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,330
but who is she?
100
00:03:59,330 --> 00:04:01,600
(singsongy):
Who is she?
101
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,940
Who is she?!
102
00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:07,880
Anyway,
if I'm not here tomorrow,
103
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,010
I'm in Minneapolis
with blood on my hands. Thanks.
104
00:04:13,010 --> 00:04:15,020
Would anybody else
like to share?
105
00:04:15,020 --> 00:04:17,020
I hated when you did this to me,
106
00:04:17,020 --> 00:04:19,620
but it's fun doing it
to someone else.
107
00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,560
Go ahead.
108
00:04:22,860 --> 00:04:25,790
Hi. I'm Patty,
and I'm an alcoholic.
109
00:04:25,790 --> 00:04:27,160
ALL:
Hi, Patty.
110
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,160
I have 85 days,
111
00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,730
which is the longest
I've ever had,
112
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,600
thanks to my incredible sponsor.
113
00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:38,910
I called her yesterday
because my mom told me
114
00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:42,010
that she won't let me see
my daughter at Christmas.
115
00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:44,210
(quietly): Aw.
It's because of last year.
116
00:04:44,210 --> 00:04:47,320
I got wasted before lunch,
knocked over the Christmas tree,
117
00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:49,880
and then I started screaming
at my mom.
118
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,650
My kid spent most of the day
crying.
119
00:04:52,650 --> 00:04:54,320
I thought
120
00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:58,260
having 85 days might buy me
a second chance.
121
00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:01,360
It didn't.
122
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,000
So, what's the point
of having 85 days?
123
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,000
That's it.
124
00:05:08,940 --> 00:05:10,840
Hi, I'm Marjorie,
alcoholic.
125
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,270
ALL:
Hi, Marjorie.
126
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:15,880
This time of year
just makes me extra grateful
127
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,350
for my life
and the people in it.
128
00:05:18,350 --> 00:05:20,820
(quietly):
Take a look
at that hand.
129
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,820
Am I overreacting?
130
00:05:23,820 --> 00:05:25,220
It's a 30-hour drive.
131
00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,620
Wear a diaper,
go straight through.
132
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,760
Thanks for sharing
your room with me.
133
00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,230
Mm. No problem.
134
00:05:34,230 --> 00:05:36,730
This is sort of
like we're sisters.
135
00:05:36,730 --> 00:05:39,730
Oh, my God. That would
make Bonnie my mom.
136
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,170
Oh, I wish Bonnie
was my mom.
137
00:05:43,870 --> 00:05:46,740
When I was a kid,
I would say the same thing.
138
00:05:47,780 --> 00:05:49,810
Girls, it's late.
139
00:05:49,810 --> 00:05:51,450
Keep it down or invite me in.
140
00:05:51,450 --> 00:05:53,850
We'll be quiet.
Come on in!
141
00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:57,820
Well, how you holding up?
142
00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,190
Well, I'm okay,
I guess.
143
00:06:00,190 --> 00:06:02,790
I'm just sad that when
my daughter looks back
144
00:06:02,790 --> 00:06:03,830
on this Christmas,
145
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,360
all she's gonna remember
is that I wasn't there.
146
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,930
Or worse, she'll
remember the years I was.
147
00:06:09,930 --> 00:06:12,070
I know it's hard
to imagine right now,
148
00:06:12,070 --> 00:06:14,140
but one day,
you guys might be able
149
00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:16,170
to look back
and laugh at this stuff,
150
00:06:16,170 --> 00:06:17,870
even the most
painful parts.
151
00:06:17,870 --> 00:06:18,940
We do it constantly.
152
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,480
Ooh, remember that time
when I was 11?
153
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:22,740
You're gonna have
to be more specific.
154
00:06:22,740 --> 00:06:24,310
Christmas Eve.
155
00:06:24,310 --> 00:06:27,880
This one goes out with her new
boyfriend of 48 hours
156
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,880
to buy a few
last-minute presents.
157
00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:31,350
Oh, come on now.
Not that story.
158
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:34,160
No, it's funny,
it's funny, it's funny.
159
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:38,260
Turns out, there's a bar
right next to the Toys "R" Us,
160
00:06:38,260 --> 00:06:41,930
and I wake up Christmas
morning in an empty house.
161
00:06:41,930 --> 00:06:43,900
Around noon,
the phone rings.
162
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:45,900
It's a collect call,
so I'm thinking
163
00:06:45,900 --> 00:06:48,170
she's in jail again,
but no.
164
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:51,840
No, no. No, she got into a fight
with Dad of the Week,
165
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,840
and needs me
to go pick her up
166
00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:55,910
at the park
where she passed out.
(laughs)
167
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:57,180
I'm 11.
168
00:06:58,010 --> 00:07:00,750
So, I drive over
and get her.
169
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,490
In my defense,
she was an excellent driver.
170
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:06,450
Still is.
Thanks.
171
00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:08,290
That's incredible.
172
00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:10,090
Not done.
173
00:07:10,090 --> 00:07:12,960
On the way back home,
we stopped at a gas station
174
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,200
where I bought my own
Christmas presents--
175
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,300
two Milky Ways
and a Teen Bop magazine
176
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,970
with a fold-out poster
of Kirk Cameron.
177
00:07:20,970 --> 00:07:23,940
I believe there was also
a Yoo-hoo involved.
178
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:25,910
Yes, yes, yes. Yoo-hoo.
179
00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,880
Nothing says Christmas
like chocolate milk
180
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,440
that doesn't need
to be refrigerated.
181
00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:31,480
(laughs)
182
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:34,220
Okay, this has been fun,
but if I'm not asleep
183
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,990
when Adam comes home, he'll want
to talk about his day.
184
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,490
Oh. Oh, oh. Oh!
I forgot the best part.
185
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:42,920
That night, she gets drunk
again, eats my Milky Ways
186
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,960
and then puts her chocolatey
fingers all over my magazine.
187
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:49,160
For the record, I didn't
get drunk again. I got high.
188
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:51,430
Sweet dreams.
189
00:07:52,470 --> 00:07:53,840
Hmm.
190
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,070
Your mom
is awesome.
191
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:04,580
I feel like
everyone who lives
192
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:07,380
in my gingerbread
house is really happy.
193
00:08:10,550 --> 00:08:12,690
Now they're all dead.
194
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,690
I'm thinking
they got out okay.
195
00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:16,520
No, they're all pinned
under the rubble,
196
00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,790
and the cell service is bad.
197
00:08:20,590 --> 00:08:22,930
Something bothering
you, Patty?
198
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,970
My mom won't even let me talk
to Erica on the phone.
199
00:08:25,970 --> 00:08:27,230
I'm sorry.
200
00:08:27,230 --> 00:08:30,500
If it makes you feel any better,
my daughter won't talk to me,
201
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:32,910
and my son chose
to live with his father.
202
00:08:32,910 --> 00:08:33,970
That's so sad.
203
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:37,780
I know. I was trying
to cheer you up to my level,
204
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:41,080
but I depressed myself
down to yours.
205
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,820
Okay, candidate
number five-- Katie.
206
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:45,720
She went to high
school with Andy,
207
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,820
still lives in
town, not married.
208
00:08:47,820 --> 00:08:49,520
Okay, look at
the fingers.
209
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,620
Are they too stubby?
210
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:53,630
Enough with the fingers.
211
00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:55,900
Jill,
why aren't you participating
212
00:08:55,900 --> 00:09:00,570
in this time-consuming,
supposedly fun yuletide ritual?
213
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,000
I am. But as
in real life,
214
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,640
I hired a contractor
to build my house for me.
215
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,510
How's it going over there, Tam?
216
00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,010
It's great.
217
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:11,280
I'm building an 18th century
English country house.
218
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,580
I think you're gonna like it.
219
00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:15,150
I just have
to redo these gables.
220
00:09:15,150 --> 00:09:17,250
What happened to Bonnie?
221
00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:18,550
She went to get a sweater.
222
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:19,650
That was, like, an hour ago.
223
00:09:19,650 --> 00:09:21,790
It was?
Wow. Time sure flies
224
00:09:21,790 --> 00:09:23,660
when you're building
a historically accurate
225
00:09:23,660 --> 00:09:26,530
representation of a house
out of cookies.
226
00:09:26,530 --> 00:09:28,530
Be right back.
227
00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:30,560
(gasps)
Ooh. Forget stubby fingers.
228
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:31,860
Look at candidate
number six.
229
00:09:31,860 --> 00:09:34,070
Oh, my God,
just call him!
What?
230
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,070
You've got a great boyfriend
who loves you,
231
00:09:36,070 --> 00:09:37,300
so stop inventing drama!
232
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:40,540
If you got a question, just
call him and ask, or get ready
233
00:09:40,540 --> 00:09:43,140
to sit home with me every
Saturday night and knit socks!
234
00:09:44,540 --> 00:09:46,180
I guess I could
give him a call.
235
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:47,810
Hey, Wendy,
if you're making socks,
236
00:09:47,810 --> 00:09:49,820
I'm a size ten and a half,
and I like the ones
237
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:52,150
with little toes
like foot mittens.
238
00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:00,560
I'm prepared
to sit here all night.
239
00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:03,630
What do you
want me to say?
240
00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:06,100
The holidays
are hard for me.
241
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:08,500
Oh, you're the one.
242
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:13,570
Christy told an...
243
00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:16,580
awful story about
me last night.
244
00:10:16,580 --> 00:10:18,680
I've heard it a
thousand times,
245
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:20,680
I've always laughed,
but for some reason,
246
00:10:20,680 --> 00:10:24,050
now I want to punch
myself in the face.
247
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:25,280
I'm just...
248
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:26,720
suddenly...
249
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,190
(chuckles softly)
250
00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,090
...very ashamed
of who I was.
251
00:10:32,090 --> 00:10:34,660
And that is not
how I roll.
252
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,030
You're right where
you're supposed to be.
253
00:10:36,030 --> 00:10:38,060
What, hiding in my room
crying about something
254
00:10:38,060 --> 00:10:40,170
that went down
30 years ago?
255
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,030
What's happening to you
is very common.
256
00:10:42,030 --> 00:10:43,240
You've got almost five years,
257
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:46,640
and you're starting to see
your past through sober glasses,
258
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,270
and that can be painful.
259
00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,740
Why during Christmas?
260
00:10:49,740 --> 00:10:51,740
We don't get to schedule
when it happens.
261
00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:54,180
It just,
it comes up when it comes up.
262
00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:58,720
I once made a flight to Detroit
very, very uncomfortable
263
00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:00,890
for my seatmates.
264
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,620
Why were you in Detroit?
265
00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,360
It's the National Cat Show.
266
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,760
Is that why you were crying,
267
00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:07,930
'cause you paid to go
to a cat show?
268
00:11:07,930 --> 00:11:10,360
If you really must know,
I was crying
269
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,770
because 15 years earlier
I had cheated on my husband,
270
00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,170
and for some reason mid-flight,
271
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:18,640
the enormity
of what I had done hit me.
272
00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:20,240
Oh.
273
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:21,610
(sighs)
274
00:11:24,410 --> 00:11:25,780
I get it.
275
00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:29,050
Recovery is
a never-ending process.
276
00:11:29,050 --> 00:11:31,780
We're slowly peeling back
layers of an onion.
277
00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:35,350
You don't get to see it all
at once, but that's a blessing.
278
00:11:35,350 --> 00:11:37,020
'Cause nobody could handle it.
279
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:38,260
(knocking)
280
00:11:38,260 --> 00:11:40,090
Bit of a situation.
281
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,760
Patty has decided
to go kidnap her daughter.
282
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,200
That's not the word she's using,
283
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,830
but I'm telling you
that is what it is.
284
00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,070
Hey, what's going on?
285
00:11:51,070 --> 00:11:52,840
I'm going to get my daughter.
286
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:53,740
Get out of my way.
287
00:11:53,740 --> 00:11:55,070
But what about your mom?
288
00:11:55,070 --> 00:11:56,680
Gonna wait till
she falls asleep,
289
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:58,380
crawl through
the doggy door,
290
00:11:58,380 --> 00:12:01,010
grab my kid and find a motel to
celebrate Christmas together.
291
00:12:01,010 --> 00:12:04,380
Oh, my God,
we're gonna be on Dateline.
292
00:12:05,690 --> 00:12:07,850
Patty... listen to me.
293
00:12:07,850 --> 00:12:09,760
Sometimes when we're angry,
294
00:12:09,760 --> 00:12:11,890
we don't really make
the best decisions.
295
00:12:11,890 --> 00:12:14,030
I just want to hug
my daughter, okay?
296
00:12:14,030 --> 00:12:15,900
C-Come here. Sit down.
297
00:12:17,830 --> 00:12:19,970
Here, have some...
298
00:12:19,970 --> 00:12:22,030
chimney.
299
00:12:23,970 --> 00:12:26,310
I know what you're going
through is really painful--
300
00:12:26,310 --> 00:12:28,210
this is your first
sober Christmas--
301
00:12:28,210 --> 00:12:31,480
but like everything in sobriety,
you don't have to face it alone.
302
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,810
You have me.
303
00:12:32,810 --> 00:12:33,580
You have all of us.
304
00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:35,380
Yeah. And we're
gonna help you
305
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:36,720
make the best of it.
306
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,120
And as your sponsor,
I'm supposed
307
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,820
to give you suggestions
that make you go, "Ugh,"
308
00:12:40,820 --> 00:12:42,920
so here goes.
(takes deep breath)
309
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,130
I want you to text your
mother and say "thank you."
310
00:12:46,130 --> 00:12:48,860
Ugh! Why?
311
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,900
For taking such good
care of your daughter.
312
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,800
Just think about it.
313
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,900
Come on.
314
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,040
Let's get your stuff
back upstairs.
315
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,380
Fine.
316
00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:05,850
If you're planning on
making a run for it,
317
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,950
just know that I
am stronger than I look.
318
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,220
No, you're not.
No, I'm not.
319
00:13:11,020 --> 00:13:13,090
You handled that
beautifully.
320
00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:15,760
(sighs) Good,
'cause I want to die.
321
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,190
But I'm not gonna ruin
another Christmas.
322
00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,760
Who wants to watch
It's a Wonderful Life
323
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,030
even though it's not?
324
00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:25,770
You know, it's early-- we
could still go caroling.
325
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:29,070
♪ O holy no. ♪
326
00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:32,170
My God,
you have a beautiful voice.
327
00:13:32,170 --> 00:13:36,210
I guess I could do
a couple of houses.
328
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,350
And that's how it's done.
329
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,180
So what do we do, just knock
on a door and start singing?
330
00:13:45,180 --> 00:13:47,790
You don't knock on doors--
that's trick-or-treating.
331
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,820
We stand in the yard and sing.
332
00:13:49,820 --> 00:13:53,130
If they like it, they come out
and give us cookies or candy.
333
00:13:53,130 --> 00:13:55,730
So it is
trick-or-treating.
334
00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:59,000
MARJORIE:
This is a pretty house.
335
00:14:00,270 --> 00:14:01,400
I don't need it.
336
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,700
(Wendy blows pitch pipe)
337
00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:07,540
♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas,
we wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
338
00:14:07,540 --> 00:14:09,940
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
339
00:14:09,940 --> 00:14:11,810
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
340
00:14:11,810 --> 00:14:14,150
♪ Good tidings we bring ♪
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪
341
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:16,220
♪ To you and your kin ♪
♪ We wish you... ♪
342
00:14:16,220 --> 00:14:18,120
♪ Good tidings for Christmas ♪
♪ Christmas ♪
343
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:19,890
♪ And a Happy New Year ♪
♪ New Year ♪
344
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,520
♪ Now, bring us
some figgy pudding ♪
♪ Pudding ♪
345
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:23,990
♪ Now bring us
some figgy pudding ♪
♪ Pudding ♪
346
00:14:23,990 --> 00:14:25,930
♪ Now bring... ♪
347
00:14:28,430 --> 00:14:29,930
Were we that terrible?
348
00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:32,100
No. This happens.
The important thing is
349
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,770
we leave before they
turn the sprinklers on.
350
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:38,140
Hey, it's me.
351
00:14:38,140 --> 00:14:40,440
You're not picking up, so
I'm just gonna leave a message.
352
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,110
In that sweet picture
you sent me of you and your mom,
353
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:45,010
why the hell are there
lady fingers on your arm,
354
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,580
and why are they giving you
an affectionate squeeze?
355
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:49,780
Call me.
Who's the hand?
356
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,850
God, I miss having
a boyfriend.
357
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,790
I know. It's the best.
358
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,560
Christy's been
cheering me up
with stories
359
00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,560
about what you used
to be like.
Mm.
360
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,560
Did you really steal
wrapped Christmas presents
361
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:05,000
out of someone's car
and give them to her?
(sighs): Yep.
362
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,900
That was the year Christy
got an electric razor
363
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:09,540
and a smoking jacket.
Ah.
364
00:15:09,540 --> 00:15:13,070
Might also have been the
year she started smoking.
365
00:15:13,970 --> 00:15:15,610
(Wendy blows pitch pipe)
366
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,880
♪ Joy to the world ♪
367
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,880
♪ The Lord is come ♪
368
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,950
♪ Let earth receive ♪
369
00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:23,980
♪ Her King ♪
370
00:15:23,980 --> 00:15:25,420
Yes!
♪ Let every ♪
371
00:15:25,420 --> 00:15:26,550
♪ Heart ♪
372
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,890
♪ Prepare Him room ♪
373
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:30,090
♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪
374
00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:32,890
♪ And heaven
and nature sing ♪
375
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,930
♪ And heaven ♪
376
00:15:34,930 --> 00:15:37,100
♪ And nature sing ♪
377
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,230
♪ Joy to the world ♪
378
00:15:39,230 --> 00:15:41,630
♪ The Savior reigns ♪
379
00:15:41,630 --> 00:15:42,670
♪ Let men ♪
380
00:15:42,670 --> 00:15:45,170
♪ Their songs employ ♪
381
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,940
♪ While fields and floods ♪
382
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:50,040
♪ Rocks, hills and plains ♪
383
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:52,180
♪ Repeat the sounding joy ♪
384
00:15:52,180 --> 00:15:54,550
♪ Repeat
the sounding joy ♪
385
00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:56,650
♪ Repeat, repeat ♪
386
00:15:56,650 --> 00:15:59,320
♪ The sounding joy ♪
387
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,090
♪ He rules the world ♪
388
00:16:01,090 --> 00:16:04,060
♪ With truth and grace ♪
Bonnie ran away.
389
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:07,630
♪ And makes the nations prove ♪
390
00:16:07,630 --> 00:16:10,060
♪ The glories of ♪
391
00:16:10,060 --> 00:16:12,130
♪ His righteousness ♪
392
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:15,000
♪ And wonders of his love... ♪
393
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,100
(singing fading)
Merry Christmas.
394
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:19,640
♪ Wonders of... ♪
395
00:16:21,170 --> 00:16:22,410
Mom?
396
00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:24,080
Bonnie?
397
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:26,050
Here, Bonnie, Bonnie!
(kisses)
398
00:16:26,050 --> 00:16:27,680
Bonnie!
399
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,080
Bonnie Plunkett!
400
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,090
Come to my voice!
401
00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:36,160
Follow the sound
of my voice!
402
00:16:37,260 --> 00:16:39,060
I have
great news!
403
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:40,060
(shouts):
Did you find...
404
00:16:40,060 --> 00:16:41,090
Sorry. Did you find her?
405
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:42,560
No. But I talked to Andy.
406
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,630
The fingers belong to his
ex-girlfriend from high school.
407
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:49,240
He told me nothing's going
on, and I believe him.
408
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:51,000
Merry Christmas to me!
409
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,540
I trust a man!
410
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,380
(Bonnie sobbing)
411
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,390
I think we found her.
412
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:11,090
I got this.
413
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,060
(Bonnie sobbing)
414
00:17:18,430 --> 00:17:20,030
Hey...
415
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,600
Look who's away
in a manger.
416
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,570
Not funny.
(sniffles)
417
00:17:27,610 --> 00:17:29,070
Whatcha doin'?
418
00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:32,750
Just hanging out with Mary.
419
00:17:32,750 --> 00:17:34,610
She was a good mother.
420
00:17:34,610 --> 00:17:35,550
I mean...
421
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:38,520
like me, her...
pregnancy was a surprise,
422
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:41,290
but after that,
she knocked it out of the park.
423
00:17:41,290 --> 00:17:44,090
Where's this coming from?
424
00:17:44,090 --> 00:17:46,630
Those stories you told Patty.
425
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:49,600
I was so awful.
426
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,800
I-I don't know how I'm
ever gonna make it up to you.
427
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:55,670
You've already done it.
428
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:59,540
You may just be feeling this,
but I'm finally over it.
429
00:17:59,540 --> 00:18:02,680
I can tell those stories because
they don't hurt me anymore.
430
00:18:04,540 --> 00:18:06,080
Also, people love them.
431
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:08,480
They're real crowd-pleasers.
432
00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:11,120
They are colorful.
(chuckles)
433
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,050
Mom...
434
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,820
you've come so far.
435
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:16,360
You're in such a healthy place.
436
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,120
I'm so proud of you.
437
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:19,460
(exhales)
Healthy?
438
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:22,530
(chuckles wryly)
I've got straw in my underwear.
439
00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:26,570
But you're wearing underwear.
440
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,340
Are you okay?
441
00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:32,200
(groans)
Listen,
442
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,440
if you want to find a sponsor
who's a little more together,
443
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,410
I-I certainly would understand.
444
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:39,080
Are you kidding?
They say you're supposed to want
445
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,150
what your sponsor has.
446
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:44,650
More than anything, I want
what you have with Christy.
447
00:18:45,650 --> 00:18:48,450
Check it out--
we're role models.
448
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,720
I guess we are.
449
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,430
And I did what you said.
450
00:18:53,430 --> 00:18:55,690
I texted my mom
and thanked her.
451
00:18:55,690 --> 00:18:57,230
Good job.
452
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:59,830
All right, come on,
let's go home.
453
00:18:59,830 --> 00:19:01,700
Okay.
454
00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:05,270
Christy, remember
when I stole the baby Jesus
455
00:19:05,270 --> 00:19:07,110
from the nativity scene.
456
00:19:07,110 --> 00:19:10,580
Yep. It was the only time
I got a doll for Christmas.
457
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:23,190
Look how many presents there are
under the tree.
458
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:24,820
(laughs)
459
00:19:24,820 --> 00:19:28,390
Whoa. And there's
a stocking for me!
460
00:19:28,390 --> 00:19:30,600
Merry Christmas, girls!
461
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,460
Can we start opening?
462
00:19:33,460 --> 00:19:36,530
Hold on. Adam! Come on,
we're waiting for you!
463
00:19:36,530 --> 00:19:39,100
ADAM (calls):
I look ridiculous!
464
00:19:45,180 --> 00:19:48,280
Who's a good boy, Gussie?
465
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,550
You're so good.
466
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:52,480
It doesn't get better than this.
467
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,820
It absolutely
gets better than this.
468
00:19:54,820 --> 00:19:56,120
(phone chimes)
469
00:19:57,160 --> 00:19:58,560
Oh, my God.
470
00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:00,690
My mom's gonna let me FaceTime
with Erica
471
00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:02,360
while she opens presents.
(gasps)
472
00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,260
That's fantastic!
473
00:20:04,260 --> 00:20:06,200
I'm so happy for you!
474
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,630
(sobbing)
475
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:10,440
Mom, why are
you crying now?
476
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,300
I'm the best sponsor ever.
477
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,110
You kinda are.
Aw...
478
00:20:18,180 --> 00:20:19,680
Can I go change yet?
479
00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,880
No.
34765
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