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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:03,940
Gus, give me five.
2
00:00:05,110 --> 00:00:07,410
Give me five.
3
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:11,580
(grunts) Your paw, my hand,
make it happen.
4
00:00:11,580 --> 00:00:12,950
Oh, come on.
5
00:00:12,950 --> 00:00:14,620
I have seen you do it
with other people.
6
00:00:14,620 --> 00:00:15,950
ADAM:
Ah, damn it!
7
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,420
Ooh, Daddy's mad.
8
00:00:17,420 --> 00:00:18,550
United front, right?
9
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:21,990
I'll remember this.
10
00:00:21,990 --> 00:00:24,690
Did you eat the chocolate
out of my nightstand drawer?
11
00:00:24,690 --> 00:00:28,160
Sorry. I have to get gas today;
I'll pick you up another one.
12
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:30,570
This isn't gas station
chocolate.
13
00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:32,470
It has hints of elderberry
and sea salt.
14
00:00:32,470 --> 00:00:34,470
It's 72% cacao.
15
00:00:36,010 --> 00:00:37,970
You're so upset you don't know
how to pronounce it.
16
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:40,440
I love you, honey,
but it's cocoa.
17
00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:43,910
No, it's cacao, you hillbilly.
18
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,920
And I was savoring this
one square at a time.
19
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:52,660
You ripped through this thing
like Augustus Gloop.
20
00:00:52,660 --> 00:00:53,890
Who?
21
00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:57,160
The fat Nazi kid
from Willy Wonka.
22
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,660
He was a Nazi?
23
00:01:01,660 --> 00:01:03,070
If I wanted to share it,
24
00:01:03,070 --> 00:01:04,570
I would have put it
in the kitchen
25
00:01:04,570 --> 00:01:06,000
where everything of mine
gets eaten.
26
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,140
Stay out of my drawer.
27
00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:09,810
Ah, I think you're overreacting.
28
00:01:09,810 --> 00:01:11,940
Can I make you a cup of tea
29
00:01:11,940 --> 00:01:15,950
or a nice comforting mug
of hot "cacao"?
30
00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,620
No.
31
00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,550
Hey, Rudy,
what are the specials?
32
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:26,420
Well, I'll tell you
what's special.
33
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:29,430
A cheery hello
from my good friend Christy.
34
00:01:29,430 --> 00:01:31,830
Oh, God, what
do you want?
35
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,760
A wee favor-poo. Hmm?
36
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,100
I got a DUI.
37
00:01:35,100 --> 00:01:37,130
They suspended my license,
and so, get this:
38
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:40,470
I am legally required
to do that thing you do.
39
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:43,770
Cry myself to sleep?
40
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:46,440
I'm referring to your meetings
with the other drunkards.
41
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,980
I have to go to ten AA meetings
and get this card signed.
42
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:52,150
So, could you go
to ten AA meetings
43
00:01:52,150 --> 00:01:54,120
and get this card signed?
44
00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,120
No.
45
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,520
If you've been ordered
to go, you have to go.
46
00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,520
All right.
When are you picking me up?
47
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,060
Why do I have
to pick you up?
48
00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,590
Because I could go to jail,
49
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:06,600
and your livelihood
depends on me.
50
00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,530
God, no.
51
00:02:09,530 --> 00:02:12,400
(sighs) There's a meeting
tomorrow at 8:00 a.m.
52
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,800
at the community center.
53
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,410
Oof. I do not like
54
00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:18,940
any of those words.
55
00:02:18,940 --> 00:02:21,480
There's another
meeting at 3:00,
56
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:23,710
but I know people at that
one, so you have to be nice.
57
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:26,820
I'll have a couple of cocktails
beforehand, loosen up.
58
00:02:26,820 --> 00:02:27,750
Yeah.
59
00:02:28,750 --> 00:02:31,090
Why do you hate me?
60
00:02:54,110 --> 00:02:55,110
(laughter)
61
00:02:55,610 --> 00:02:57,350
It is pronounced "cacao."
62
00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,080
What?
63
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:06,420
Yes, chocolate is made
from the cacao bean.
64
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,920
Marjorie, chocolate
does not come from a bean.
65
00:03:11,590 --> 00:03:13,530
The point is,
it's just stupid candy,
66
00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:14,830
and he should get over it.
67
00:03:14,830 --> 00:03:17,430
Does Adam really ask
for that much?
68
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,470
Sexually?
69
00:03:18,470 --> 00:03:20,100
Why would I be
talking sexually?
70
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,810
You tell me. P.S., yes.
71
00:03:23,810 --> 00:03:26,670
I'm just saying it might be nice
to respect his boundaries.
72
00:03:26,670 --> 00:03:27,680
Sexually?
73
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,150
Goodbye.
74
00:03:30,150 --> 00:03:32,150
Marjorie is
really losing it.
Big time.
75
00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:34,620
She just threw a birthday
party for one of her cats.
76
00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:37,750
I had to make a speech,
with no heads-up.
77
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:40,590
Pretty good cake, though.
78
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,690
Rudy, in here.
79
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:44,890
All the way.
80
00:03:44,890 --> 00:03:46,490
Come on.
81
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:52,830
Oof. Cloudy with a chance
of suicide.
82
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,440
I told you to be nice.
83
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:57,740
Now shut up and sit down.
84
00:03:57,740 --> 00:03:59,110
I'll get you a
cup of coffee.
85
00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,910
Cappuccino, bone dry,
one pump of vanilla.
86
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,650
Hi, I'm Mary.
87
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:07,120
No.
88
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,120
(groaning)
89
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,820
What a nightmare.
90
00:04:10,820 --> 00:04:12,950
Ah, sorry about
the Lorna Doones.
91
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:14,460
I didn't have time to bake.
92
00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:16,930
I was busy planning
a birthday party.
93
00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:18,590
It's not that.
94
00:04:18,590 --> 00:04:20,460
I'm babysitting Chef Rudy.
95
00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:21,730
He got a DUI.
96
00:04:21,730 --> 00:04:23,600
Court-ordered attendance?
97
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,870
And resenting
every minute of it.
(scoffs)
98
00:04:25,870 --> 00:04:27,400
He doesn't care
about getting sober.
99
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,140
It's just a waste of time.
100
00:04:29,140 --> 00:04:32,610
Christy, if you change
your attitude about Rudy,
101
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:35,480
you could be the one
to help save his life.
102
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,810
Huh.
103
00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:39,480
I never thought
of making it about me.
104
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,550
Have I taught you nothing?
105
00:04:43,820 --> 00:04:47,090
So... you got through
your first meeting.
106
00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:48,720
I'm proud of you.
107
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,560
I know it's a lot.
108
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,830
Tell me how
you're feeling.
109
00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,030
There's no wrong answer.
110
00:04:53,030 --> 00:04:55,130
One down, nine to go.
111
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:58,900
All right, let's hit it.
112
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:00,170
Wait. No.
What's happening?
113
00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,840
Who are these people?
114
00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:03,540
It's Wendy and Jill.
115
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,040
They both shared at the meeting.
116
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,640
Yes. I'm still a-tingle.
Hmm.
117
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,910
Why are they in the backseat
of your dreary economy car?
118
00:05:11,910 --> 00:05:14,080
Christy, am I allowed
to be mean to him?
119
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,580
No, he's a newcomer.
120
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:18,450
Damn it. Welcome.
121
00:05:18,450 --> 00:05:20,660
So glad you're joining us.
122
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:23,590
After meetings we all go to
the bistro for coffee and pie.
123
00:05:23,590 --> 00:05:26,530
I was not court-ordered
for coffee and pie.
124
00:05:26,530 --> 00:05:28,600
Okay, then get an Uber.
125
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,970
Alas, I've been banned
by Uber, Lyft,
126
00:05:30,970 --> 00:05:32,800
and most gypsy cabs.
127
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:36,070
Apparently, there are
cameras everywhere now.
128
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:37,540
Ugh, tell me about it.
129
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,970
In the Neiman Marcus
dressing room...
130
00:05:38,970 --> 00:05:41,610
No, no. We're not
going back and forth.
131
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:46,150
Again, welcome.
132
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:52,490
Oh, are you kidding me?
133
00:05:52,490 --> 00:05:56,420
Literally, the last thing I said
to you was leave my stuff alone.
134
00:05:56,420 --> 00:05:58,630
I was replacing your chocolate.
135
00:05:58,630 --> 00:05:59,990
(sighs) What the hell is that?
136
00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:02,630
I think you mean "thank you."
137
00:06:03,900 --> 00:06:05,500
This isn't even chocolate.
138
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,640
It's carob; it's-it's-it's
hippie chocolate.
139
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,040
Well, it's the only thing
I could find
140
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,710
in Marjorie's purse.
141
00:06:10,710 --> 00:06:12,370
By the way, she was
asking a lot of questions
142
00:06:12,370 --> 00:06:13,710
about our sex life.
143
00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,510
That is one dirty bird.
144
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,850
Look, I need to have something
around here that's just mine.
145
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:20,520
Where is this
all coming from?
146
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,850
It never bothered you
before we were married.
147
00:06:21,850 --> 00:06:23,650
Because I had my own apartment.
148
00:06:23,650 --> 00:06:25,790
I had my own living room,
my own kitchen, my own bed.
149
00:06:25,790 --> 00:06:27,860
Okay, we get it, guy,
you had a lot of stuff.
150
00:06:27,860 --> 00:06:29,690
Now I'm down
to a couple of drawers.
151
00:06:29,690 --> 00:06:31,090
And my wife
can't stay out of 'em.
152
00:06:31,090 --> 00:06:33,460
Hey, hold up. You
rented out your apartment
153
00:06:33,460 --> 00:06:35,860
so you could put more money
into a bar I can't drink in.
154
00:06:35,860 --> 00:06:37,970
I put a cocktail on the menu
called The Bonnie.
155
00:06:37,970 --> 00:06:39,400
Yeah. Don't think
I didn't notice
156
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:40,740
the last ingredient was bitters.
157
00:06:40,740 --> 00:06:41,840
See? See? See?
158
00:06:41,840 --> 00:06:43,140
This is what you do.
159
00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:44,870
You change the subject.
160
00:06:44,870 --> 00:06:47,480
We're talking about me
living in your house.
161
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,080
And I know it's your house
'cause none of me is in here.
162
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:51,680
Well, if you want
any of you in here,
163
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,550
you better back
it down a notch.
164
00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:56,550
I think we both know
you'd cave before me.
165
00:06:56,550 --> 00:06:58,690
Well, excuse me
for being vital.
166
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,760
And you know damn well
I have to live in "my house"
167
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,560
because I'm
the building manager.
168
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,030
Perhaps the real issue is why
169
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:06,890
are you so threatened
by my career?
170
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:08,530
(chuckles):
Your what?
171
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:11,070
Th-There it is. And you
wonder why we still march.
172
00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:13,030
What are you doing?
173
00:07:13,030 --> 00:07:14,570
You want space?
Have the whole room.
174
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:17,570
Including your drawer.
175
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,850
I had so many opportunities
to get out of this.
176
00:07:27,820 --> 00:07:29,920
No. No.
No-no-no-no-no.
177
00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:31,950
No! No!
178
00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:34,060
No!
179
00:07:35,090 --> 00:07:37,990
(sighs)
180
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,660
Off.
181
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,470
Off.
182
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:02,380
Just remember, I can fart, too.
183
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:14,590
Wendy, you're some kind
of nurse, right?
184
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:20,070
Why are you all still surprised?
185
00:08:20,070 --> 00:08:21,600
My neck is really stiff
from last night.
186
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,240
Could you massage this?
187
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:26,070
Could you be
nice to me?
188
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:27,670
Jill, could you massage this?
189
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:33,780
Feels weird rubbing somebody
who's never bought me jewelry.
190
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:36,220
You didn't have
to sleep on the couch.
191
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,780
All you had to do
was apologize to him.
192
00:08:37,780 --> 00:08:39,820
Which is exactly why I had
to sleep on the couch.
193
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:41,790
Keep up with the story.
194
00:08:41,790 --> 00:08:45,260
Look, Bonnie, Adam needs to
feel like it's his house, too.
195
00:08:45,260 --> 00:08:47,430
Maybe if you let him bring
a few of his things over,
196
00:08:47,430 --> 00:08:51,430
he'll relax and you can stop
stealing my pocketbook snacks.
197
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,170
Nope, nope, nope.
Sorry, but I got
198
00:08:53,170 --> 00:08:55,270
to overrule
the Grand Poo-Bah here.
199
00:08:55,270 --> 00:08:57,570
My ex tried to put one of those
tables in the living room
200
00:08:57,570 --> 00:09:00,310
that have those twirly flippy
men on 'em, what do you call it?
201
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:03,110
Foosball? You got
a foosball table?
202
00:09:05,780 --> 00:09:07,580
No, I do not.
203
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,120
Because marriage is all about
establishing dominance.
204
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:12,590
So is foosball.
205
00:09:12,590 --> 00:09:14,590
(phone ringing)
206
00:09:14,590 --> 00:09:16,590
Ugh.
What?
207
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,720
Rudy on FaceTime.
208
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,460
Hmm. What?
209
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,060
RUDY:
I need you to drive me
to the mall.
210
00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:24,100
I'm desperate for underpants.
211
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,470
I see that.
212
00:09:25,470 --> 00:09:27,670
Can you tilt the phone up?
213
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:29,670
So be a lamb,
pick me up in five.
214
00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:31,100
No.
215
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,670
I'm taking you
to meetings, that's it.
216
00:09:32,670 --> 00:09:34,410
Well, what am I to do,
hitchhike?
217
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:36,110
My features are too delicate.
218
00:09:36,110 --> 00:09:38,380
I would be ravaged
by some trucker.
219
00:09:38,380 --> 00:09:39,780
Well, after he's done
with you,
220
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,780
tell him to drop you off
at the mall.
221
00:09:42,780 --> 00:09:44,480
Can you believe it?
222
00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,250
He's being such a jerk
about meetings,
223
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,150
and now he expects me
to be his chauffeur.
224
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:51,090
Well, in his defense, he's
being forced to go to AA.
225
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:52,360
That's never easy.
226
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,560
Even if you
aren't dragged there,
227
00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,360
that first meeting's
tough.
228
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,160
I liked mine.
229
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,700
People were friendly. They
wanted to hear what I had to...
230
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,230
I was a wreck.
231
00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,630
I started
crying so hard,
232
00:10:01,630 --> 00:10:03,840
some old coke
came out of my nose.
(chuckles)
233
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:06,040
Looked like
tiny snowballs.
234
00:10:07,770 --> 00:10:10,380
I just remember riding in on
that lawn mower and thinking,
235
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:12,180
"It's come to this."
236
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,150
(chuckles)
...say.
237
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:17,380
What are you
talking about?
238
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,150
I was just trying
to finish what I...
239
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:21,450
I tried to help Rudy.
He's a lost cause.
240
00:10:21,450 --> 00:10:22,560
...what I had to say!
241
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:24,790
Are you okay?
242
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,260
No.
243
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,530
He doesn't sound like
a lost cause to me.
244
00:10:29,530 --> 00:10:31,530
He sounds like a
very lonely man.
245
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,670
Didn't even have someone
to take him to the mall.
246
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,600
Try to be patient
with him.
247
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:37,470
Why would I reward him?
248
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,540
He just showed me
his plums.
249
00:10:42,170 --> 00:10:43,340
So, yea or nay
on the mall?
250
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,610
'Cause I could use
some new undies, too.
251
00:10:44,610 --> 00:10:46,550
Today I had to wear
a pair of Marjorie's.
252
00:10:46,550 --> 00:10:47,550
What?
253
00:10:47,550 --> 00:10:49,180
I mean, not Marjorie's.
254
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:51,020
Someone else's.
255
00:10:54,890 --> 00:10:57,490
(refrigerator door opens)
256
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:10,100
Hey, listen.
257
00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,500
What?
258
00:11:13,110 --> 00:11:14,510
Nothing!
259
00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:17,780
It's not gonna be nothing.
260
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:21,310
I've been thinking,
261
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:23,120
and I'm really sorry I blew off
262
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,720
what you were saying last night.
263
00:11:29,590 --> 00:11:32,790
Are you apologizing?
Trying.
264
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:35,460
Can you at least come closer
so I can hear it?
265
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:41,670
Okay.
266
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,610
You did make a big
sacrifice moving in here
267
00:11:45,610 --> 00:11:47,470
so I could keep this job.
268
00:11:47,470 --> 00:11:49,410
Shutters open, please.
269
00:11:52,140 --> 00:11:54,150
(sighs)
Where was I?
270
00:11:54,150 --> 00:11:56,220
Moving in, keeping job...
271
00:11:56,220 --> 00:11:58,150
Ah.
272
00:11:58,150 --> 00:12:01,290
I want this house to be
as much yours as it is mine.
273
00:12:01,290 --> 00:12:03,360
So how about you go over
to your storage locker
274
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:04,820
and bring back
whatever would make it
275
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:06,630
feel more like home to you?
276
00:12:08,290 --> 00:12:10,400
You were gonna say all that
from the other room?
277
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:15,170
I was gonna text,
but my phone died.
278
00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:16,670
Well, thank you.
279
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:17,770
You're welcome.
280
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,540
But-- just curious...
281
00:12:18,540 --> 00:12:19,670
(groans)
282
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,640
Yes?
283
00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,780
Where did your uncharacteristic
selflessness come from?
284
00:12:26,780 --> 00:12:27,780
Don't poke at it.
285
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,320
Just go round up your crap
286
00:12:29,320 --> 00:12:32,250
and try to stick it
in places I can't see.
287
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,660
I love you.
288
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,660
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
289
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:43,800
I used to jump
through hoops
290
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,800
to justify in my mind
291
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,800
why I could
keep drinking.
292
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,740
I thought, "I haven't been drunk
in front of my son,
293
00:12:51,740 --> 00:12:54,140
"I haven't lost my job,
294
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,610
"I haven't wound up in jail,
295
00:12:56,610 --> 00:12:58,610
"so it's not so bad.
296
00:12:58,610 --> 00:13:00,550
I don't need to stop."
297
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:03,280
What I didn't
realize then
298
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,820
was that I should be adding
"yet"
299
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:08,390
to the end
of all those sentences.
300
00:13:08,390 --> 00:13:11,220
"I haven't lost my job yet.
301
00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:15,230
I haven't been to jail yet."
302
00:13:15,230 --> 00:13:18,130
(sighs)
I started doing things
303
00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,100
that I swore I'd never do.
304
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,840
Things started happening
305
00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,710
that I swore would never happen,
306
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:27,840
because of my drinking.
307
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,580
But instead of changing my ways,
308
00:13:30,580 --> 00:13:32,680
I did what any good alcoholic
would do--
309
00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:35,820
I just kept lowering the bar.
310
00:13:35,820 --> 00:13:39,320
Finally, it couldn't
get any lower.
311
00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:42,320
When I got
to these rooms,
312
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,190
my family wouldn't talk to me.
313
00:13:44,190 --> 00:13:46,390
I had no friends.
314
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:48,460
I had no job.
315
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:51,860
I was homeless
and living in a box.
316
00:13:51,860 --> 00:13:53,700
And I had roommates.
317
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:57,570
To the newcomers,
318
00:13:57,570 --> 00:14:01,140
your story may not
look like mine.
319
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:02,810
But if you're here,
I would venture a guess
320
00:14:02,810 --> 00:14:05,240
that things
probably aren't going so well.
321
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:07,280
And I want you to know
322
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,280
this program works
323
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:14,390
and your bottom
is whenever you stop digging.
324
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,620
(applause)
325
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:22,500
Great share,
Marjorie.
326
00:14:22,500 --> 00:14:24,100
Really beautiful.
327
00:14:24,100 --> 00:14:25,360
Generic trail mix?
328
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,500
Where the hell
do you shop?
329
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:27,770
MAN:
Thanks, Marjorie.
330
00:14:27,770 --> 00:14:29,370
We have time for
one more share.
331
00:14:29,370 --> 00:14:30,370
Who would
like to go?
332
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:31,440
Would you like to share?
333
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,140
A pint of vodka? Yes.
334
00:14:41,150 --> 00:14:42,450
(sniffling softly)
335
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:45,720
Are you crying?
336
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:49,720
Yeah.
337
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,920
Marjorie's share
was really moving.
338
00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:52,930
Yes.
339
00:14:52,930 --> 00:14:54,190
Old lady had a sad tale.
340
00:14:54,190 --> 00:14:56,660
Boo-hoo.
341
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:59,530
You didn't get
anything out of that?
342
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,100
Only that she desperately needs
a new pantsuit.
343
00:15:04,670 --> 00:15:08,940
I am so sick of you making
a joke out of this program.
344
00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,640
That woman in the pantsuit
saved my life.
345
00:15:11,640 --> 00:15:15,550
The "stale cookies" and
"bad coffee" saved my life.
346
00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,180
Before AA,
347
00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:20,520
I couldn't imagine getting
through a day without alcohol.
348
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,090
I needed it
to have a conversation,
349
00:15:22,090 --> 00:15:24,490
to open my mail, to live.
350
00:15:24,490 --> 00:15:26,160
It was like air.
351
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,890
(exhales)
And the people in this program
352
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:31,800
showed me a new way to breathe.
353
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,530
You are saying
a lot of boring things.
354
00:15:33,530 --> 00:15:35,170
Can this count as a meeting?
355
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,800
Get out.
356
00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:39,170
What?
357
00:15:39,170 --> 00:15:40,710
You don't get to dump on people
358
00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:42,510
who actually want to change
their lives.
359
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:44,040
You can't leave me here.
360
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,840
We're in front
of a payday loan facility.
361
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,710
Get out!
Excuse me,
362
00:15:47,710 --> 00:15:48,710
I am your boss.
363
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:49,680
No, you're not!
364
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:52,180
Well, in my head,
I am.
365
00:15:55,190 --> 00:15:58,460
COMMENTATOR: We have
a wild show today...
366
00:15:59,790 --> 00:16:01,130
Isn't today moving day?
367
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:02,530
Where's all your stuff?
368
00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:03,630
You know, I thought about it.
369
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,000
And change is hard for you,
370
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,900
so I just brought a few things
to ease you in.
371
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:08,800
That is really sweet.
372
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:09,800
Ooh!
373
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,870
You brought the espresso maker.
374
00:16:12,870 --> 00:16:17,480
(singsongy): Tiny cups of coffee
make me feel so fancy.
375
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,610
(both chuckle)
376
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:20,750
Ooh, and you brought
your art books.
377
00:16:20,750 --> 00:16:22,950
That table
just got 100% smarter.
378
00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:25,520
That's why I bought 'em.
(chuckles)
379
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,050
Ooh. Sorry, babe.
380
00:16:27,050 --> 00:16:29,490
This candle's
really tacky.
381
00:16:29,490 --> 00:16:30,620
It's yours.
382
00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:33,190
Oh. That's right.
383
00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:36,090
I sneezed on it at the store,
and they made me buy it.
384
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:38,800
So, that's it? That's nothing.
385
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,770
Check out the bedroom.
386
00:16:40,770 --> 00:16:41,970
Oh, my God!
387
00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,640
Did you bring
your king-size bed?
388
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,500
I love that bed!
It's almost like you're snoring
389
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,770
in another room!
390
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:49,070
Aw.
391
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,510
(yelps)
392
00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,110
A fish.
393
00:16:53,110 --> 00:16:55,050
Yeah.
394
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:57,650
Because...?
395
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,550
I found it in my storage.
396
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,190
I caught him off the coast
of Cabo with my dad.
397
00:17:02,190 --> 00:17:03,660
With your dad.
398
00:17:03,660 --> 00:17:05,660
It was our last fishing trip
before he died.
399
00:17:05,660 --> 00:17:07,660
Before he died.
400
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:10,660
I know it may not be your thing,
401
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:11,930
but you'll get used to it.
402
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:14,000
I already am.
(chuckles)
403
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,200
You know what, I'm gonna go make
a tiny cup of coffee.
404
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,140
I have a sudden urge
to feel fancy.
405
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,640
(chuckles)
406
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,170
Hey, boy.
407
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,540
Welcome home.
408
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:24,740
(quietly):
Son of a bitch.
409
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,950
What the hell?
410
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:33,550
Paul?
411
00:17:33,550 --> 00:17:35,950
Paul, what's going on?
412
00:17:36,960 --> 00:17:38,690
Did Rudy not show up?
413
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:43,030
And you tried to run
the kitchen by yourself?
414
00:17:45,030 --> 00:17:47,500
It's okay. I'll go get him,
and you get cooking.
415
00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,700
You can do it!
416
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,040
(sighs) And you
don't need this.
417
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:56,170
Drop it.
418
00:17:57,180 --> 00:17:59,850
Wow, that's wet.
419
00:18:08,990 --> 00:18:11,020
You're not my hooker.
420
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,490
No.
421
00:18:12,490 --> 00:18:15,660
She threw herself off a cliff.
422
00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,530
Why aren't you at work?
423
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:19,530
Because I like to go
to work feeling good.
424
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:21,730
And so I did what I always do.
425
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:25,740
I had a very dry vodka martini
with two blue cheese olives.
426
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:27,740
But I didn't enjoy it,
427
00:18:27,740 --> 00:18:30,010
and so I was forced
to have a second.
428
00:18:30,010 --> 00:18:32,610
And then a third,
429
00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,210
waiting for the
happy to arrive.
430
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:35,880
But it never did.
431
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,220
I hope you're satisfied.
432
00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:40,490
You ruined drinking for me.
433
00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:42,490
Drink, don't drink.
I don't care.
434
00:18:42,490 --> 00:18:43,890
Just go get dressed.
435
00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:47,090
(sighs)
436
00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:49,160
(grunts)
437
00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:55,800
(singsongy):
I ruined drinking.
438
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:03,980
(sultry music playing)
439
00:19:09,910 --> 00:19:11,920
You know,
you could look down here.
440
00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,590
If it's watching me,
I'm watching it.
30240
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