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1
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,000
What?
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,800
(chuckling):
It feels different, doesn't it?
3
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,120
Breakfast?
4
00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:15,840
This. You, me, us.
Married. Different.
5
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,720
Not really. We've basically
been living together
6
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,000
for a couple of years.
7
00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,480
This little piece of paper
right here...
8
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,800
makes it different.
9
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,680
That's the gas bill.
10
00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,800
I know that.
It was symbolic.
11
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,360
Oh, let me guess-- you already
lost the marriage certificate.
12
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,200
The point is it's different.
13
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:37,040
Aw.
This feels different.
14
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:38,000
See?
15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,440
You know what?
16
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:42,040
Maybe you guys are right.
17
00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:44,560
Maybe it is different.
18
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,520
Maybe everything is different.
19
00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:49,000
Hold on.
20
00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,240
Nope.
21
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:53,440
Aw. You crack me up, Dad.
22
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,600
We can keep it Adam.
23
00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:56,680
-Poppy?
-Adam.
24
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,840
-Pop Pop?
-Stop stop.
25
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,040
Listen, I'm down a couple
of waitresses tonight,
26
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:03,480
any chance you can help me out?
27
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,880
Mmm... It's my one night off
28
00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:07,960
and I'm behind on my reading
for law school.
29
00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:10,120
What if I put Pop Pop
back on the table?
30
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:12,840
Wow.
31
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:14,120
Toying with the emotions
of someone
32
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:15,600
who always wanted a father.
33
00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:18,120
Well played.
34
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,680
But I'm not tipping out
the bartender.
35
00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:24,000
I'm the bartender.
36
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,720
Then you can break it to him.
37
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:27,120
Look at us--
squabbling, but with love.
38
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,800
We really are a family.
39
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,120
Thanks to this piece of paper.
40
00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:33,560
That's the cable bill.
41
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:36,040
What is it about symbolism
you don't get?
42
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,240
And it's past due.
43
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:38,760
Well, now you're
just annoying me.
44
00:02:03,160 --> 00:02:05,400
It was the world's
most wonderful honeymoon.
45
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,440
I wore no clothes
for five days.
46
00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,640
I mean, I've done that
before, but not sober.
47
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,440
And not in private.
48
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,320
Look, we've all seen it.
Let's get over it.
49
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:24,120
I've seen it,
but I can't get over it.
50
00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,960
What led up to this
transformation?
51
00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:29,800
Sorry, Marge, what happens
at Sandals Orlando
52
00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,400
stays at Sandals Orlando.
53
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,400
If only.
54
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,280
I, for one, am gobsmacked.
55
00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,520
I used that right, right?
56
00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:39,160
Gordon Ramsay says it
when he finds out
57
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:42,440
the restaurant serves
frozen lasagna.
58
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:45,160
Anyway, we had a dock
in front of our cabin,
59
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,320
and every morning
I'd get out of bed...
60
00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:47,480
How do you wash it?
61
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,600
I don't.
62
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,600
You know, I want to say
I'm nonplussed,
63
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:56,760
but I might be plussed, and I
don't want to get it wrong.
64
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,080
And you have arrived safely
at your destination.
65
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,080
Thank you, Officer.
66
00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,800
You know what we
call this, ladies?
67
00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,480
A police escort.
68
00:03:07,640 --> 00:03:09,160
Do you know what
we call this?
69
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:11,200
Forced laughter.
70
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:14,080
I know at some point
I've arrested you.
71
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,160
Well, you could probably say
that to anyone at this table.
72
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:20,200
Have a great
day at work.
73
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,320
Okay. You have a great day
at, uh... this.
74
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:26,440
See you tonight.
75
00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:30,280
He's taking me to his cop gym.
He likes to show me off.
76
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,760
Like a piece of meat?
77
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,160
USDA Prime.
78
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,280
Anyway, you're just in time
to hear my exciting story
79
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:37,920
about my honey...
Oh, my God,
80
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,440
what the hell
happened to you?
81
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,200
Orlando.
82
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,320
Hey, honey.
Honey, honey!
83
00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:55,000
Yes, sir? "Honey", or,
84
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,600
like I've told you three times,
Christy, at your service.
85
00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,960
Yeah, did these wings
actually come from Buffalo?
86
00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,280
'Cause they're ice-cold.
87
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:06,080
Let me take care
of that for you, sir.
88
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,080
Even though you've already eaten
four of them, you asshat.
89
00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,000
(clears throat)
What's wrong?
90
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,960
You see the one who makes
the other ones look smart?
91
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,840
Oh, Marv?
Yeah, he's a tool.
92
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,200
He's been a dick to me
all night.
93
00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:18,760
He says the hot wings
aren't hot.
94
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:20,200
After he ate four?
95
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,360
I know, right?
96
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,280
Tool.
Tool.
97
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,640
Need another plate of
wings, and make 'em hot!
98
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,000
Make 'em hot?!
99
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,120
Everything in here is hot!
I'm melting!
100
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,960
You're giving him new ones?
101
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,080
I was just gonna
run a sponge over these
102
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:34,560
and nuke 'em in the microwave.
103
00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:36,600
I'm sorry he's giving you
a rough time,
104
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,280
but those guys
are my Tuesday night.
105
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,040
They pile in here and drink
their weight in booze.
106
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:42,760
Without them,
I might as well not open.
107
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,600
Your call.
But I can dump a beer in his lap
108
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,320
and totally make it look
like an accident.
109
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:47,760
Yeah, I'm that good.
110
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,000
Ding, fries are up.
111
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,920
What's in your hair?
112
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:54,760
Hmm, I'm not sure.
113
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:56,920
But it's got a kick.
114
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,280
Tammy, we talked about this.
115
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,080
You're supposed
to be wearing a hairnet.
116
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,480
I am nonplussed, Adam.
117
00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:04,840
Completely nonplussed.
118
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,240
Your hot wings
will be right out.
119
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,000
Would you like
another round of beer?
120
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,440
(scoffs) Do we look like guys
that stop after one pitcher?
121
00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,120
Coming right up.
122
00:05:17,120 --> 00:05:19,680
How about that?
Dumb blonde's a real thing.
123
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,120
Excuse me?
124
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,920
Sorry about Marv.
125
00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,240
His wife just left him.
126
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,240
I think the phrase
is "tunneled out."
127
00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,960
Oh, what's that
supposed to mean?
128
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:33,920
I am implying that any poor
woman who is stuck with you
129
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:37,400
would be willing to literally
dig her way out of that life.
130
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,440
I'm picturing with a spoon.
Hey, you would be
131
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,000
begging to dig out
of my basement, baby.
132
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,480
Yes. I would be.
133
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,120
ADAM:
Christy.
134
00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:49,120
Christy, come here.
Come here.
135
00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,280
What the hell was that?
136
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:55,280
I know! Huge tool, right?
137
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:58,080
I'm talking about you.
Me?
138
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,960
Go apologize and tell him
the next round is on the house.
139
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,240
You cannot be serious.
140
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:03,520
I'm running a business.
141
00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,320
And you should
support your employees.
142
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,640
Ding, wings up!
143
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,160
Just go and apologize.
144
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,640
You want to apologize?
Do it yourself!
145
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,400
Ding, wings getting cold.
146
00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,120
Hairnet.
147
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,640
I will consider a hairnet
if you get me a real bell.
148
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,160
I'm tired of doing my own ding.
149
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,120
Get the wings and go.
150
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,760
Oh, I'm going.
151
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,800
You can't leave.
152
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,320
Watch me.
153
00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:30,480
Tammy, I need you
to wait tables.
154
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,920
Seriously?
I finally
155
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,400
got all of it crammed
into this thing.
156
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,160
Now.
157
00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:37,320
Hold up.
Let me put my pants on.
158
00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:44,960
Two towels, please?
159
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,600
Uh, I have to sign
your guest in. Name?
160
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:51,040
Her name is "my girlfriend."
161
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,160
Last name "ba-bam."
162
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,320
It's Jill.
163
00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,920
Jill Ba-Bam.
164
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:02,880
Oh, no, no, no.
165
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,960
I don't touch things
that have touched other people.
166
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,120
Ah, 'cause she's a lady.
167
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,800
A super, super hot lady.
168
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,920
He can see that, baby.
Dial it back.
169
00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,280
16...
170
00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,680
17...
171
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,760
...and a half.
172
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,120
(groans)
Oh.
173
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,120
I'm really not supposed
to let 'em clang like that,
174
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,800
but I think it tells
the whole gym I'm here,
175
00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,760
I'm strong, deal with it.
176
00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:39,640
Okay, want to give it a whirl?
177
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,080
I mean, not at this weight,
you know,
178
00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,600
it took me years to get there.
179
00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:46,280
Oh, that's okay. I'll just
stick to my usual stuff.
180
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,120
Ah.
Probably safer.
181
00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,280
Did you know she
could do this?
182
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,200
I didn't know anyone
could do this.
183
00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,240
Maybe she should be the cop
184
00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,640
and you should be the one
at home getting a pedicure.
185
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,680
(chuckles)
186
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,680
Ba-bam!
(chuckles)
187
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:37,020
I'll kill him.
I'll kill him!
188
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:38,300
Marv or Adam?
189
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,740
Adam.
Who's Marv?
190
00:08:39,740 --> 00:08:40,900
The guy!
191
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,300
I don't care about the guy.
192
00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:43,700
I care that my husband
threw my daughter
193
00:08:43,700 --> 00:08:45,660
under the proverbial bus
for this Marv guy.
194
00:08:45,660 --> 00:08:47,780
Maybe I do care about Marv
a little bit.
195
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:49,380
Thank you.
196
00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:51,180
Oh, it's like Adam has, like,
totally forgotten about
197
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:54,180
the existence of...
of-of this... This is the, uh,
198
00:08:54,180 --> 00:08:56,740
this is the uh,
marriage certificate.
199
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,300
What's it doing in a magazine?
200
00:08:58,300 --> 00:09:00,220
I don't... I-I brought the mail
into the bathroom.
201
00:09:00,220 --> 00:09:01,780
Things happen.
202
00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:06,660
I got to say, Mom,
it feels really good
203
00:09:06,660 --> 00:09:07,900
knowing that you're on my side.
204
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,460
Well, of course
I'm on your side.
205
00:09:09,460 --> 00:09:11,980
What other side is there?
There's only one side.
206
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:15,020
Honestly, this is
more shocking than Wendy's hair.
207
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,340
Wendy's hair-- oof.
208
00:09:16,340 --> 00:09:17,580
We still haven't
talked about that yet.
209
00:09:17,580 --> 00:09:19,300
I'll make some tea.
210
00:09:29,740 --> 00:09:31,700
Jill would've made that.
Shut up.
211
00:09:34,420 --> 00:09:35,860
Well, that was fun.
212
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:44,580
Yep.
We should do this again.
213
00:09:44,580 --> 00:09:45,900
Yep.
214
00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,420
Is everything all right?
215
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,020
Yep.
216
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,300
Do we have time to g...
217
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,300
Ooh, I left my watch
in the locker.
218
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,340
Oh...
Be right back.
219
00:09:58,300 --> 00:10:00,340
It really doesn't
go with your shoes.
220
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:21,900
(sighs)
221
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:24,420
Your day's not over, bub.
222
00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:29,260
What does the dog know
that I don't?
223
00:10:29,260 --> 00:10:31,740
How could you not
defend Christy?
224
00:10:31,740 --> 00:10:33,580
Here we go.
Yeah, here we go.
225
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,420
Hey, she walked out on me.
226
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:37,060
Because you threw her
under the bus.
227
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,460
The customer is always right.
228
00:10:38,460 --> 00:10:40,620
Since when? I've been
a customer my whole life,
229
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:41,980
I'm never right.
230
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:43,100
Especially now.
231
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,420
You should have had her back.
232
00:10:44,420 --> 00:10:46,300
She didn't have my back.
She left me hanging.
233
00:10:46,300 --> 00:10:48,980
I had to bartend, wait tables.
I couldn't pee for four hours.
234
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:51,500
Look, Christy is my daughter,
and if you...
Nope, nope, no, no.
235
00:10:51,500 --> 00:10:53,300
We're stopping that right now.
236
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,980
Don't you "nope, nope, nope" me.
237
00:10:54,980 --> 00:10:57,700
I love Christy, but you can't
automatically take her side.
238
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:00,740
We're married now.
Things are different.
239
00:11:00,740 --> 00:11:02,420
So I'm supposed to
automatically take your side?
240
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:03,900
Hey, it goes both ways.
241
00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,380
No matter how many
crazy-ass things you do--
242
00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:06,740
and we know you're
gonna do 'em--
243
00:11:06,740 --> 00:11:09,500
I will always be there
to support you.
244
00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,020
You will?
245
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,820
Hell yeah, you're my wife.
I got your back forever.
246
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:19,940
Aw.
(chuckles)
247
00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:24,140
How tired are you?
248
00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:28,180
Does it matter?
You're on top either way.
249
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:33,580
Oh, Christy, good,
you're still here.
250
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:35,140
Adam and I want
to talk to you.
251
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:38,540
Oh?
Oh, good.
252
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,740
Yes.
Yes, please do.
253
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:43,700
I really feel like
you owe Adam an apology.
254
00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,300
What?
No.
255
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:49,060
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no.
256
00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:51,780
Last time you and I spoke,
you were killing him for me.
257
00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:53,500
What?
It's symbolism.
258
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:57,060
Uh, that was before I heard
Adam's side of the story.
259
00:11:57,060 --> 00:11:58,380
Oh, thank you, Bonnie.
260
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:00,660
Oh, yes.
261
00:12:00,660 --> 00:12:02,140
"Thank you, Bonnie."
262
00:12:03,420 --> 00:12:05,060
I see how it is now.
263
00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:07,380
A little nighttime
nookie-nookie pillow talk,
264
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,740
suddenly he has a side?
265
00:12:08,740 --> 00:12:10,100
I do.
He does.
266
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,100
(grunts loudly)
267
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,580
I hate you both!
268
00:12:13,580 --> 00:12:15,100
I can't wait till
I finish school
269
00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:16,820
so I can get out of this house!
270
00:12:18,500 --> 00:12:20,100
I've never actually
seen you,
271
00:12:20,100 --> 00:12:22,620
but you're, like, 45, right?
272
00:12:22,620 --> 00:12:25,100
Forty-one.
273
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:28,140
You think I'll still
be living here when I'm 45?
274
00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:34,620
And now it's two against one,
just 'cause they're married.
275
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:36,860
Where was Adam when
I was cleaning vomit
276
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:38,260
out of her eyes?
277
00:12:38,260 --> 00:12:40,540
That's right, vomit.
278
00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:42,500
She threw up into a fan.
279
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,620
In a department store.
280
00:12:44,620 --> 00:12:47,020
The day before Christmas.
Mm-hmm.
281
00:12:47,020 --> 00:12:49,300
I-I get it.
282
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:51,380
Also, I'm trying
to eat soup.
283
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,460
I think what's
going on here
284
00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:00,500
is that for years, you felt
abandoned by your mother.
285
00:13:00,500 --> 00:13:02,700
And then you finally got
the relationship with her
286
00:13:02,700 --> 00:13:04,140
that you'd been waiting for,
287
00:13:04,140 --> 00:13:06,260
and now you're feeling
abandoned again.
288
00:13:06,260 --> 00:13:08,820
Yes, that's exactly
what she's doing.
289
00:13:08,820 --> 00:13:10,780
She's abandoning me again.
290
00:13:10,780 --> 00:13:12,020
How is everything?
291
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:13,340
Amazing, thank you.
292
00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:17,940
I ordered a BLT,
I got a turkey sandwich.
293
00:13:17,940 --> 00:13:19,380
But I'm not gonna complain,
294
00:13:19,380 --> 00:13:21,460
because that's how
you treat a waitress.
295
00:13:21,460 --> 00:13:26,180
Sweetie, your mother is finally
in a healthy relationship,
296
00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,420
so instead of focusing on
what you're not getting,
297
00:13:28,420 --> 00:13:30,340
try focusing on
how happy you are
298
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:32,340
that she found someone.
299
00:13:33,620 --> 00:13:35,660
Great, Marjorie.
300
00:13:35,660 --> 00:13:38,060
I just wanted you
to agree with me,
301
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:41,500
but instead, you
give me good advice.
302
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:44,300
You're welcome.
303
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:47,300
Now, we never got a chance
to discuss Wendy's hair.
304
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,180
Ooh, I wanted to
talk about that, too.
305
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:54,740
It's the first time I've
ever had a fight with Christy.
306
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:57,060
We've always gotten
along so great.
307
00:13:57,060 --> 00:14:00,780
And she and Bonnie have
been through so much together.
308
00:14:00,780 --> 00:14:02,660
Maybe I don't have the right
to expect Bonnie
309
00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:05,060
to side with me every time.
310
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,180
What do you think?
311
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:09,340
You have the longest eyelashes.
312
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:12,980
Huh?
313
00:14:12,980 --> 00:14:15,180
Nothing. Never mind.
Keep going.
314
00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,020
If I side with Adam,
I hurt Christy.
315
00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,900
If I side with Christy,
I hurt Adam.
316
00:14:20,900 --> 00:14:23,340
It was just so much easier
when I only had to worry
317
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,020
about one person's
needs-- mine.
318
00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:27,620
Yeah, well,
I've been there.
319
00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,620
My first wife had two kids
before we got married.
320
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,220
Well, it's hard
being in the middle.
321
00:14:32,220 --> 00:14:34,100
A lot of crazy feelings
to balance.
322
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,500
Yeah. How'd you deal with it?
323
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,980
You did hear me say that
that was my first wife?
324
00:14:38,980 --> 00:14:41,540
Now, the second
Mrs. Munson...
325
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:42,820
Wait, just so I know,
326
00:14:42,820 --> 00:14:44,660
how many Mrs. Munsons
were there?
327
00:14:44,660 --> 00:14:46,500
Five marriages, four women.
328
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,980
Uh, I circled back
to number three.
329
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:53,980
Oh, Lord, she was
a spitfire.
330
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,180
We met at a
Bobby Womack concert.
331
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,340
You remember him.
332
00:14:58,340 --> 00:15:00,660
"Lookin' For a Love,"
333
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:03,500
"Woman's Gotta Have It."
(chuckles)
334
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,060
He was Sam Cooke's guitar player
335
00:15:05,060 --> 00:15:07,460
before Sam Cooke
was, uh, murdered.
336
00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,940
Then he married
Sam Cooke's widow,
337
00:15:09,940 --> 00:15:14,300
and that did not go over
with the community. And...
338
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,820
And I'm telling another story
to myself.
339
00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:24,660
(sighs) I've never
done paintball before.
340
00:15:24,660 --> 00:15:26,140
What a blast.
341
00:15:27,180 --> 00:15:28,740
Oh, yeah.
342
00:15:30,660 --> 00:15:32,740
I mean, the last time
I got splattered with paint,
343
00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:34,900
I was wearing fur;
it wasn't as much fun.
344
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:38,260
Really? 'Cause you don't seem
to be splattered at all.
345
00:15:38,260 --> 00:15:41,580
I think my gun was
just faster than yours.
346
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:44,420
This is my own
paintball gun.
347
00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:46,420
Yours is a rental.
348
00:15:46,420 --> 00:15:48,580
And I practiced yesterday.
349
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:49,940
You practiced?
350
00:15:49,940 --> 00:15:51,980
Yeah. Look, can we just
get some chili fries
351
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:53,660
and put this behind us,
please?
352
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,140
No. You've been weird
since the gym.
353
00:15:58,420 --> 00:16:00,820
Oh, hold on.
Oh, my God!
354
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,500
I got this.
Call 911!
355
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,620
I am 911. Would you...
356
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:07,740
Okay, I'm a professional.
Please let me do this.
357
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:09,940
What are you doing?
I almost had it.
358
00:16:09,940 --> 00:16:11,620
Yeah, because you move
like a puma.
359
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:14,580
Okay, you know what,
you gotta ball your fist.
360
00:16:14,580 --> 00:16:18,660
Okay. Hey,
I know how to ball my fist!
361
00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:21,300
Hey... you okay?
362
00:16:21,300 --> 00:16:23,700
Yeah. Thank you.
363
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,780
Or you.
364
00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:28,340
Glad you're okay.
365
00:16:28,340 --> 00:16:29,500
What the hell is wrong with you?
366
00:16:29,500 --> 00:16:30,940
I feel bad that you're...
367
00:16:30,940 --> 00:16:32,660
better than me
at everything.
368
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,340
And I feel bad that
I'm the kind of guy
369
00:16:34,340 --> 00:16:35,820
who feels bad about that.
370
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,380
Well, I'm sorry.
In the past,
371
00:16:37,380 --> 00:16:39,620
I would've let you win,
but I'm a strong sober woman now
372
00:16:39,620 --> 00:16:41,220
and I won't play the girl
for you.
373
00:16:41,220 --> 00:16:42,700
No, I don't need
you to do that.
374
00:16:42,700 --> 00:16:44,900
I just want to impress
you with something.
375
00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:46,820
Why? I'm already
falling in love with you.
376
00:16:46,820 --> 00:16:49,140
What was that?
377
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,780
Nothing.
378
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:54,300
Are you sure?
Yup.
379
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,180
Because it sounds to me
like you were the first one
380
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:58,820
to say I love...
(grunts)
381
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:01,100
Did you shoot me in the heart
because you love me?
382
00:17:01,100 --> 00:17:03,980
No!
383
00:17:03,980 --> 00:17:06,700
Doesn't hurt
because you love me.
384
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:13,100
(Bonnie laughs)
385
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:24,220
(knocking on door)
Come in.
386
00:17:28,180 --> 00:17:31,660
Hey, um, can I talk to you guys?
387
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:33,260
What happened?
388
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,180
Did you have an accident
with the car? (gasps)
389
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:36,500
Are you pregnant?
390
00:17:36,500 --> 00:17:39,700
No.
391
00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:42,020
But I owe you an apology.
392
00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:46,740
I realize it's time I start,
393
00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:50,340
you know, acting my age.
394
00:17:50,340 --> 00:17:52,940
You two are husband and wife
395
00:17:52,940 --> 00:17:55,980
and I need to respect that
396
00:17:55,980 --> 00:17:57,980
or whatever.
397
00:17:57,980 --> 00:18:01,820
Thanks, Christy.
And for what it's worth,
398
00:18:01,820 --> 00:18:03,980
Marv was being a real jerk
to Tammy tonight,
399
00:18:03,980 --> 00:18:06,900
so I kicked him out.
Aw. See?
400
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:09,380
All I see is that he
stuck up for Tammy
401
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:10,820
and he didn't stick up for me.
402
00:18:10,820 --> 00:18:13,460
Wow. Now that's
all I see.
403
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,540
You didn't see it
until she said to see it.
404
00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:18,060
I saw it.
405
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:20,260
So whose side
are you on?
406
00:18:20,260 --> 00:18:23,820
Look, we need to think of
this family as a reality show.
407
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:27,540
Alliances are going to shift,
and right now you're out.
408
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,820
So basically you agree with
whoever speaks to you last.
409
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,580
He's got a point.
410
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,660
Ugh! I hate having a family.
411
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,700
(door slams)
Eh, she's got
a point, too.
412
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,700
So I chased him into a ravine
and held a paintball gun
413
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,820
to his head until he told me
he loved me, too.
414
00:18:50,740 --> 00:18:53,540
So romantic.
Isn't it?
415
00:18:53,540 --> 00:18:55,900
(phone rings)
416
00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:57,420
Hi, Bob.
417
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:01,380
(laughing)
418
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:05,060
Of course I still have them.
419
00:19:05,060 --> 00:19:07,260
Do you still have
your perfectly tan tush?
420
00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:14,020
ALL:
Orlando.
29582
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