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1
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,049
Hey.
2
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,312
Oh, hi. Your mom
said I could hang out.
3
00:00:08,356 --> 00:00:11,620
Hang out, hang yourself,
I really don'’t care.
4
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,274
What'’s your problem?
5
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:16,016
Oh, sorry.
6
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,800
My car broke down,
7
00:00:17,843 --> 00:00:21,847
and I had to walk three miles
in these awful polyester pants.
8
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,588
My thighs almost started a fire.
9
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,547
You want me to look at the car?
10
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:30,160
Well, I guess technically
it didn'’t break down.
11
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:32,075
Technically, it ran out of gas.
12
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,946
How does that happen?
13
00:00:33,990 --> 00:00:35,296
There'’s a gauge,
there'’s a light,
14
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,254
some cars go
ding-ding-ding-ding-ding.
15
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:40,953
I know,
I was just riding the zero.
16
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:45,306
Help me out, is that
a sober thing or a lady thing?
17
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,612
No, it'’s a Plunkett thing.
18
00:00:47,656 --> 00:00:51,094
When my car tells me it'’s out of
gas, I choose not to believe it.
19
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:54,576
Wow, that'’s, I don't know
what the word is for that.
20
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:55,838
Maybe... stupid?
21
00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:59,624
I prefer to think of it
as exciting.
22
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,452
A simple trip to
the grocery store
23
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:03,411
becomes a life and
death adventure.
24
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:05,891
Yeah, I'’m gonna stick
with stupid.
25
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:08,459
So you need a
ride somewhere?
26
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,549
Well, I was gonna meet
the girls at the bistro
27
00:01:11,593 --> 00:01:12,724
and go to a meeting.
28
00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:13,769
I'’ll take you.
29
00:01:13,812 --> 00:01:15,031
You sure?
30
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,425
I always have plenty of gas
in my car.
31
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:20,558
Coward.
32
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:22,734
[chuckles]
33
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,737
So, how did this "riding
the zero" thing get started?
34
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:28,871
Well, first of all,
you have to understand,
35
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,742
I used to be really poor.
36
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,222
Worse than now?
37
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,571
'’Cause you steal toilet paper
from work.
38
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,356
You want to hear
the story or not?
39
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,748
Yeah, yeah, okay. Sorry.
40
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:39,534
One day, my gas tank
was on empty,
41
00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:41,144
but I still had
to get to my job.
42
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:44,147
So, I just ignored it
and it kept going.
43
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:47,150
Eight days.
It was like Hanukkah.
44
00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:50,153
You rode the zero
for eight whole days?
45
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,677
Kind of makes you tingle,
doesn'’t it?
46
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:55,027
You do know that it'’s really bad
for your engine.
47
00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,377
You'’re such a man.
48
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,206
How about while
you'’re at the meeting,
49
00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,077
I get some gas and
swing by your car,
50
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,687
and put a couple
of gallons in it?
51
00:02:02,731 --> 00:02:04,167
Thank you, Adam.
52
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:05,603
That'’s so sweet.
53
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:08,040
My mom completely
does not deserve you.
54
00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:10,086
You'’re not wrong.
55
00:02:13,394 --> 00:02:15,222
So listen, I need a favor.
56
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:16,571
I'’ve been talking
with a social worker
57
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:18,355
about my foster care
application,
58
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,357
and I'’m supposed to get letters
of recommendation from friends
59
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,663
saying that I'’d be a good mom.
60
00:02:21,706 --> 00:02:23,012
So, Marjorie, I was wondering
61
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,318
if you would write one for me.
62
00:02:24,361 --> 00:02:26,233
I'’d be happy to, Jill.
63
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,799
Thank you.
64
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,630
I would also be happy
to write one.
65
00:02:32,674 --> 00:02:35,720
Well, we'’ll see how many I need.
66
00:02:35,764 --> 00:02:38,549
[cell phone ringing]
67
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:42,945
Huh. That'’s a strange number.
68
00:02:42,988 --> 00:02:44,860
Hello.
69
00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,949
Yes, this is she.
70
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,298
Yes, I know Christy Plunkett.
71
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:51,475
Oh, my God, is she all right?
72
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,389
What'’s going on?
73
00:02:52,433 --> 00:02:55,392
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
74
00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:56,959
Okay, I'’m on my way.
75
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,222
That was the hospital.
76
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:00,354
Christy was in a car accident.
77
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:01,790
What?! Is she okay?Oh, no!
78
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,313
I don'’t know.Come on, I'’ll drive.
79
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:04,706
Why didn'’t they call me?
80
00:03:04,749 --> 00:03:07,230
Check your phone,
maybe it went to voice mail.
81
00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,145
No, nothing.
82
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,103
Oh God, what if she has amnesia
and forgot I'’m her mother?
83
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,366
Then there'’s a silver lining.
84
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,196
♪
85
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,082
I'’m looking
for Christy Plunkett.
86
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,431
She was in a car accident.
87
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:38,261
Yes, she'’s here.
Are you Marjorie Sponsor?
88
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:42,961
Actually that'’s me, uh,
Marjorie Armstrong-Perugian.
89
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,572
You took Victor'’s name?
90
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,530
Not now.
91
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,097
Is she okay?
92
00:03:48,140 --> 00:03:49,272
You'’ll have to talk to a doctor.
93
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,839
Excuse me, I'’m her mother.
94
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:52,014
Why wasn'’t I called?
95
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,798
The EMT'’s checked her phone,
96
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:57,324
and Marjorie Sponsor
is her emergency contact.
97
00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,325
Here'’s your visitor's pass.
98
00:03:58,368 --> 00:03:59,456
Seriously?!
99
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,110
She gets to go in and I don'’t?
100
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:03,721
I'’m only authorized to admit
the person that'’s on my log.
101
00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:05,462
This is crazy. I'’m her mother.
102
00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:08,030
Not everyone likes their mother.
103
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:15,472
Oh sweetie, I'’m so
glad you'’re okay.
104
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:18,823
Get out of my way,
this is police business.
105
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:21,261
Oh, baby.
106
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,654
Hi, Mom.Are you okay?
107
00:04:23,698 --> 00:04:26,440
The doctor said I have a
concussion, but I'’ll be fine.
108
00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,007
Oh, honey, I'’m so relieved,
I was terrified.
109
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,706
One question, why is Marjorie
your emergency contact?
110
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,577
What?
111
00:04:33,621 --> 00:04:35,449
Bonnie, this is
not the time.
112
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,972
You'’re right, you're right.
113
00:04:37,015 --> 00:04:39,104
The important thing
is that you'’re okay.
114
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:40,105
What happened?
115
00:04:40,149 --> 00:04:41,977
It'’s all kind of fuzzy.
116
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,414
I was going to the bistro and
this car came out of nowhere.
117
00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:47,678
It'’s just weird that
the hospital didn'’t call me.
118
00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,072
Am I in your phone
as "Bonnie" or "Mom"?
119
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,640
Great, you'’re all here.
120
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,772
Christy'’s CT scan was
clear so she can go home.
121
00:04:54,816 --> 00:04:55,773
Oh, good.
122
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,253
But she'’ll need rest
123
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:58,298
and somebody'’s got to
keep an eye on her.
124
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,561
That would be me, her mother.
125
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,954
And while I may not be
her emergency contact,
126
00:05:02,998 --> 00:05:05,957
I will not leave her side until
she'’s completely recovered.
127
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:09,004
Thanks, Mom.
How'’s Adam?
128
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,310
He'’s fine. Why?
129
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:13,138
He was driving the car.What?
130
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:14,966
Oh, no.
JILL: Oh, my God.You didn'’t know that?
131
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:18,361
No, Wendy, I didn'’t know that
'’cause nobody called me!
132
00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:20,407
He'’s just down the hall.
133
00:05:21,712 --> 00:05:23,323
Go.
134
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:24,411
You'’re sure?
135
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,456
I'’m surrounded
by doctors and nurses.
136
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,153
I'’m safer here
than I am at home.
137
00:05:28,197 --> 00:05:31,374
I'’ll be right back.
138
00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:34,725
I always forget you have a job.
139
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,510
[Jill laughs]
140
00:05:38,468 --> 00:05:41,123
Oh, my God, are you okay?Oh.
141
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,212
I'’ve been better.
How'’s Christy?
Oh.
142
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,475
She'’s gonna be fine.
What happened?
143
00:05:45,519 --> 00:05:47,434
Guy came out of nowhere,
I never saw him.
144
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,652
Did you break your arm?
145
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:49,958
No, I just dislocated it.
146
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,568
Oh.
147
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,569
Oh, look who finally showed up.
148
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,572
Danielle?
What are you doing...
149
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,052
What is your ex-wife doing here?
150
00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,097
I'’m his emergency contact.
151
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,403
Oh, come on!
152
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,797
[laughs]
[laughs]
Don'’t be upset.
153
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:04,755
I'’m sure he just never got
around to changing it.
154
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:08,106
I'’m probably still the voice
on his answering machine.
155
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,456
You told me
that was your mother.
156
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,241
Um... can I have my soda?
157
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:13,242
Yeah.
158
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,548
I'’ll give it to him.
159
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,726
I just talked to your doctor.
160
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:20,118
He said they'’re
sending you home soon.
161
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:21,642
Great, you'’ll come
home with me.
162
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:24,471
Babe, I'’m gonna need
to go back to my place.
Why?
163
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,864
I'’m down to one
working limb here.
164
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,823
I can'’t even take a shower
in your apartment.
165
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:31,391
Now, will you be able to stay
with him? He'’s gonna need help.
166
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,697
Damn.
What?
167
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:35,438
I-I'’ve got to take care
of Christy.
168
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:37,571
Aw, aren'’t you a good mom?
169
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:41,183
What'’s that supposed to mean?
170
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:44,142
D-Don'’t worry, I will
take care of this big lug,
171
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,579
get him back
into fighting shape.
172
00:06:45,622 --> 00:06:46,580
[chuckles]
173
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,279
Is that cool with you?
174
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:53,456
That your ex-wife
is gonna take care of you?
175
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,805
I'’m super-duper.
176
00:06:54,849 --> 00:06:56,067
Ah.
177
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:58,461
And you were so sure
she was gonna flip out.
178
00:06:58,505 --> 00:07:01,899
Isn'’t he silly? It's...
179
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,647
You all done?
180
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:12,475
Yeah.
181
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,608
Oh, you didn'’t eat a lot.
182
00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:15,783
You feeling okay?
183
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:18,655
I have a headache, I'’m nauseous
184
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:20,265
and I don'’t remember much.
185
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:22,833
So, kind of like I'’m 20 again.
186
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:28,404
But I'’m alone in a bed I
recognize, so that'’s good news.
187
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:32,495
God, that must'’ve been
so scary for you.
188
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:33,627
It was.
189
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:35,280
When I was in the ambulance,
190
00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:37,500
I kept thinking about all
the things I'’ve never done,
191
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,241
all the places
I'’ve never been.
192
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:40,242
Europe?
193
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,287
Actually, Orlando.
194
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,816
All right, the doctor said
I'’m supposed to ask you
195
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,208
these questions to make sure
196
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,167
you'’re recovering
from the concussion.
197
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,213
Now... what is your name?
198
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:57,520
Christy Jolene Plunkett.
199
00:07:57,564 --> 00:08:00,305
Okay. What is the
name of this place?
200
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,485
Earth?
201
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,443
I'’ll accept that.
202
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,749
What day of the week is it?
203
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:09,750
I don'’t know.
204
00:08:09,793 --> 00:08:11,099
I don'’t, either.
205
00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,493
And the final question,
206
00:08:13,536 --> 00:08:15,930
why the hell aren'’t I
your emergency contact?!
207
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:18,019
What?
208
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:20,717
You programmed Marjorie
into your phone.
209
00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:23,851
I don'’t remember your giant head
poking out of her patooch.
210
00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:27,071
I changed it
when you relapsed,
211
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,334
and I guess I never got
around to changing it back.
212
00:08:29,378 --> 00:08:31,859
Oh. So it used to be me?
213
00:08:31,902 --> 00:08:34,339
Well...
Oh!
214
00:08:34,383 --> 00:08:36,646
Come on, man.
215
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,561
I am great in an emergency.
216
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:39,780
I'’ll change it, I'll change it.
217
00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:40,998
No, I don'’t want you
to change it
218
00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:42,347
'’cause I made you.
219
00:08:42,391 --> 00:08:43,827
I want you to change it
'’cause you trust me.
220
00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:48,353
I totally trust you.
221
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:52,357
Good, '’cause I'm not
the person I used to be.
222
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:53,620
I know that.
223
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,360
And if the people
who used to know me
224
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,537
weren'’t all dead or in
jail, they'’d be amazed.
225
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:02,106
And yet you'’re alive
and walk free.
226
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:03,717
What'’s that?
227
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,674
I love you.
228
00:09:04,718 --> 00:09:08,112
I love you, too.
229
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:10,288
All right then,
I'’m gonna give Adam a call
230
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,376
and see how he'’s doing.
231
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:13,117
Please tell him I'’m sorry.
232
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:15,685
None of this would'’ve happened
if I had put gas in my car.
233
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:18,340
Ah, riding the zero.
234
00:09:18,383 --> 00:09:20,342
Yep.
235
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,517
How many days you get?
236
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,649
Four.
237
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:26,130
[exhales]
Respect.
238
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:28,393
Hey, remember when we drove
that old Buick Skylark
239
00:09:28,437 --> 00:09:30,439
from Denver to Salt Lake
with nothing in the tank?
240
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,268
Well, to be fair,
we were going down a mountain.
241
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:34,922
Mountain my ass,
it was a miracle.
242
00:09:46,411 --> 00:09:49,371
[cell phone ringing]
243
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,546
Adam'’s phone.
244
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,505
Danielle.
245
00:09:53,549 --> 00:09:57,205
Could I please speak with Adam
on Adam'’s phone?
246
00:09:57,248 --> 00:10:00,817
Oh, Adam was right,
you really are a hoot.
247
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:04,429
Uh, unfortunately,
he'’s sleeping right now.
248
00:10:04,473 --> 00:10:07,737
Uh-huh. So, you gonna head out?
249
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,521
No, we decided that
I should stay tonight, you know,
250
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:12,046
in case he needs help
using the bathroom or bathing.
251
00:10:12,089 --> 00:10:13,830
Bathing?
252
00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:18,008
He had a car accident,
he didn'’t fall in a mud puddle.
253
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,358
Bonnie, I'’m sleeping
on the couch,
254
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,186
you have nothing to worry about.
255
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,449
[chuckling]: Oh sweetie,
I wasn'’t worried.
256
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,625
Oh, good. Bye-bye.
257
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:26,713
Wait, I...
258
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:29,672
Hello?
259
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:31,979
Damn it.
260
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:37,941
CHRISTY:
Mom?
261
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:40,335
Oops. I'’m here, baby!
262
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,000
Hey there, sleepyhead.
263
00:10:53,043 --> 00:10:54,131
Aah...
264
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:56,133
What are you doing here?
265
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:57,569
Just taking care of
you while your mom
266
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,093
pees a circle around
her boyfriend.
267
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,877
What?
268
00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:03,314
Okay. Now, I'’ve got some
concussion questions
269
00:11:03,358 --> 00:11:04,968
I'’m supposed to ask you.
270
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,841
What is your name?
271
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,757
Christy Jolene Plunkett.
272
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,149
Your middle name'’s Jolene?
273
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,585
Yes.
274
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,152
Then why the hell
do you go by Christy?
275
00:11:15,196 --> 00:11:17,241
'’Cause Jolene's stupid.
276
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:21,724
Oh, well I guess my dead
grandma'’s name is stupid then.
277
00:11:21,768 --> 00:11:24,466
Wait, where'’s my mom?
278
00:11:24,509 --> 00:11:26,033
Hey! I'’m asking
the questions here.
279
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:30,646
What is the name of this place?
280
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:31,821
Orlando.
281
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:36,478
So now, where'’s my mom?
282
00:11:36,521 --> 00:11:38,088
She'’s at Adam's. She
asked me to fill in,
283
00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,699
which is great, because
it gives me a chance
284
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,701
to use what I'’m learning
in my mommy classes.
285
00:11:44,051 --> 00:11:45,574
Okay.
286
00:11:45,617 --> 00:11:49,273
I don'’t think I like your tone.
287
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:52,755
I'’m sorry, I just meant that...
288
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:54,670
I know what you meant.
289
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,716
You still don'’t think
I'’d be a good mother.
290
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:59,109
No, I'’m just kind of waking up.
291
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,807
I can read between the lines.
292
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:02,025
What lines?
293
00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:05,637
The lines we draw
when we hurt each other!
294
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,729
I think I might be in danger.
295
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,432
Adam?
296
00:12:17,475 --> 00:12:18,999
ADAM:
It'’s open!
297
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:20,740
That'’s when you had
298
00:12:20,783 --> 00:12:23,525
that stupid Smokey and the Bandit
mustache.
299
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:26,789
That was a Magnum mustache
and you loved it.
300
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:28,748
Hey, baby.
301
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:31,272
Ah, am I interrupting
happy hour?
302
00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,056
Oh, no,
we'’ll just keep drinking.
303
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,060
Danielle made martinis.
304
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:40,716
I took a pain pill, they say you
shouldn'’t mix them with alcohol,
305
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,674
but they were wrong.
306
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,069
Hey, I know I can'’t get you
one of these,
307
00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:48,289
but would you like something
non-alcoholic,
308
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:51,727
like, maybe a juice box?
309
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:54,208
No. Thanks.
310
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,514
I just came to see my boyfriend.
311
00:12:56,558 --> 00:12:58,212
That'’s me.
312
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,346
Okay.
313
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,786
So I'’m assuming
you'’re feeling better.
314
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:11,094
Oh yeah. I took a nap and then
Danielle gave me a sponge bath.
315
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,792
All of you?
316
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,619
Oh, relax, I mean, it'’s not like
317
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:16,970
there'’s anything there
that I haven'’t already seen.
318
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,886
It'’s not seeing it I'm worried
about, it'’s polishing it.
319
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,322
[giggling]
320
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,413
Not funny.Not funny.
321
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,415
Listen, if you have to get back
322
00:13:27,458 --> 00:13:29,243
to your daughter,
everything'’s under control here.
323
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:32,289
One of my friends is watching
her, I can hang for a while.
324
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,423
Hey, I got an idea.
325
00:13:35,466 --> 00:13:37,991
Why don'’t you two give
each other a sponge bob...
326
00:13:40,863 --> 00:13:42,560
...and I'’ll watch.
327
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,092
Mm-mm.
328
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:54,877
This is one terrific sandwich.
329
00:13:54,921 --> 00:13:56,836
This is the kind of sandwich
that would make
330
00:13:56,879 --> 00:14:00,883
any adult or child
feel very, very loved.
331
00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:04,017
Give me a break,
it'’s grilled cheese.
332
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:08,325
Oh, okay, that answers
one of my questions.
333
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:13,374
Come on, Jill, I didn'’t
mean to upset you.
334
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:15,550
I was just mad
'’cause my mom left.
335
00:14:15,593 --> 00:14:17,769
And now I realize
I'’m better off.
336
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:20,033
Really?
337
00:14:20,076 --> 00:14:22,122
Yeah. You think she would'’ve
338
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,688
made me a grilled
cheese sandwich
339
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:27,214
then let me watch her
play Candy Crush?
340
00:14:29,085 --> 00:14:31,261
Thank you, Christy Jo.
341
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:34,090
I guess I'’m a little
extra vulnerable right now.
342
00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:36,571
This foster process
is kind of grueling.
343
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,181
So many hoops to jump through.
344
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:40,096
It'’s, like, give me
the damn kid, you dimwits.
345
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,489
[scoffs]
346
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:43,752
I get it.
347
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,929
I mean, here I am,
recovering from a head injury,
348
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,149
and you'’re the one
having a tough time.
349
00:14:49,192 --> 00:14:50,324
Right?
350
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:54,023
[sighs]
You comfy? Do you need anything?
351
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,156
I am a little cold.
352
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:57,548
Really? I'’m warm.
353
00:14:57,592 --> 00:14:59,637
I'’ll open the window.
354
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:05,948
[snoring]
355
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:21,921
If you'’re looking for your
drink, I moved it over there.
356
00:15:23,270 --> 00:15:24,880
How thoughtful.
357
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:27,056
Oh, I see we lost Adam.
358
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:30,190
Yeah, opiates and alcohol
will do that to a person.
359
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:33,106
Not me or Keith Richards,
but we'’re gifted that way.
360
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,806
[snoring]
361
00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:40,026
You can run along now,
I'’ll put him to bed.
362
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:43,290
No, I promised him I'’d stay and
I would never break a promise.
363
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,335
Uh-huh.
364
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,816
Unless it was a marriage vow.
365
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:52,734
So that'’s how
you'’re gonna play it?
366
00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,344
I'’ll play it any way you want.
367
00:15:55,693 --> 00:15:56,956
Fine.
368
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,655
[snores]
369
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,613
[farts]
370
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:12,754
You realize
that whoever wins this gets him.
371
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,410
[farts]
372
00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:21,806
CHRISTY:
Jill, I appreciate your help,
373
00:16:21,850 --> 00:16:25,071
but I can go
to the bathroom by myself.
374
00:16:25,114 --> 00:16:27,116
Don'’t forget to wash your hands.
375
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,553
I got it!
376
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,340
Christy, I'’m worried.
377
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:34,732
About what?
378
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,300
I'’m not sure I'm cut out
to be a mother.
379
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:38,823
Why would you say that?
380
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,825
It'’s just that
I'’ve been here all day
381
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:45,047
taking care of you, and frankly,
it'’s kind of tedious.
382
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,049
[toilet flushing]
383
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:49,834
And a little icky.
384
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,315
Trust me,
you'’re overthinking it.
385
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:53,403
Hands.
386
00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:55,405
Okay.
387
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,885
[sighs]
388
00:16:56,928 --> 00:17:00,062
People make parenting
seem so fulfilling.
389
00:17:00,106 --> 00:17:02,064
What people are
you talking about?
390
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:06,242
Facebook people,
391
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,810
Instagram people,
392
00:17:08,853 --> 00:17:11,552
Kelly Ripa.
393
00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:14,207
Well, no one'’s gonna post
a video of their kid
394
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:16,383
finger-painting with dog poop.
395
00:17:16,426 --> 00:17:18,820
Does that happen?
396
00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:21,518
It'’s most of what happens.
397
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,869
Then why do people do it?
398
00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:27,220
This might be
the concussion talking,
399
00:17:27,263 --> 00:17:29,396
but... '’cause it's worth it.
400
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:33,095
It'’s 60% hard work, 40% joy--
401
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:36,098
your numbers may vary-- but...
402
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,535
it makes you feel like
your life'’s worth something.
403
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,581
So you really think
I can do this?
404
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:43,105
I know you can do it.
405
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,107
Thank you.
406
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,848
You'’re welcome.
407
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:48,806
Now get some rest.
408
00:17:51,331 --> 00:17:52,506
Christy?
409
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:53,550
Yeah?
410
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:54,682
Leave the light on.
411
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:57,250
How about I leave
the hall light on
412
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:58,903
and keep the door open a crack?
413
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,035
Deal.
414
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,996
[exhales]
415
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,476
She'’s right.
416
00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:10,524
I'’m gonna make a great mom.
417
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,092
You comfy?
418
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:14,136
Mm-hmm.
419
00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:15,616
You have enough pillows?
420
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,573
Yep.
421
00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:17,618
You love me?
422
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,054
I do.
423
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,882
Then why am I not
your emergency contact?!
424
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:23,450
[bangs]
425
00:18:23,493 --> 00:18:25,408
Ow.
426
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,634
[sighs] Okay, Danielle,
here'’s the deal.
427
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:36,115
I'’m going to hire someone
to take care of Adam.
428
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:39,074
Ideally, a large Filipino man.
429
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,902
Are you really
so threatened that you'’d rather
430
00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:42,556
have a stranger tending to him?
431
00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:44,558
I'’m not threatened.
You'’re threatened.
432
00:18:44,601 --> 00:18:46,299
Why would I be threatened?
433
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:48,692
Because I'’m threatening you.
434
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:51,521
Oh, honey.
435
00:18:51,565 --> 00:18:53,741
You don'’t want to do that.
436
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,351
Oh, yeah, yeah. Adam told me
437
00:18:55,395 --> 00:18:57,571
you were in the Army
a million years ago,
438
00:18:57,614 --> 00:18:59,747
so I'’m sure you're really great
at making a bed.
439
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:03,359
But I have been beating snot
out of people
440
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,753
since grade school
and I'’m really in the mood
441
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:07,233
to beat the snot...
442
00:19:10,497 --> 00:19:12,063
[yells]
443
00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,589
What just happened?
444
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:19,158
ADAM: You two girls
getting along out there?
31121
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