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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,871 --> 00:00:03,481 Damn, damn, damn! 2 00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:05,570 It's not the purse's fault you're poor. 3 00:00:05,614 --> 00:00:10,227 No, I borrowed this fancy necklace from Jill for a date, 4 00:00:10,271 --> 00:00:11,663 and now I can't find it. 5 00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:13,404 Maybe you left it at your date's house. 6 00:00:13,448 --> 00:00:15,493 The date ended when we left the Sizzler, 7 00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:18,235 where romance goes to die. 8 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:19,541 You borrowed a fancy necklace 9 00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,021 to go to Sizzler? 10 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,196 He said "steakhouse." 11 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,415 Forgive me for dreaming. 12 00:00:24,459 --> 00:00:26,722 Well, I would love to help you look, 13 00:00:26,765 --> 00:00:28,071 but Adam and I are heading out 14 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:29,942 to the Napa Valley Food and Wine Festival, 15 00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:32,684 [snooty tone]: where the senses go to celebrate. 16 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:34,643 Bring me back an eight-dollar meatball. 17 00:00:34,686 --> 00:00:38,081 Oh, darling, you are an eight-dollar meatball. 18 00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:40,910 Rich people don't sound like that. 19 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:45,654 Brought you some coffee. 20 00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:48,048 What are you still doing in bed? 21 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,701 Five more minutes. 22 00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:50,876 You said you were getting up. 23 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,095 Ten more minutes. 24 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,793 Exactly how hungover are you? 25 00:00:54,837 --> 00:00:56,665 I'm not. 26 00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,843 I am. 27 00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,714 Can't we just go next weekend? 28 00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:05,935 We could, but it would just be an empty field then. 29 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:08,459 All right, all right, I'm getting up. 30 00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:10,548 Thank you. 31 00:01:10,592 --> 00:01:12,072 Five minutes. 32 00:01:13,551 --> 00:01:15,162 [door closes] 33 00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,337 You're not gonna believe this. 34 00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:18,121 He's too hungover to go. 35 00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,514 You're not gonna believe this. 36 00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,646 I found three of your traffic tickets 37 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:24,084 and a tooth I'm hoping is Roscoe's. 38 00:01:28,784 --> 00:01:30,742 It's just so obnoxious to blow off plans with someone 39 00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:32,527 just 'cause you got loaded the night before. 40 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:34,398 And before you say anything, I promise to take you 41 00:01:34,442 --> 00:01:35,921 to see Santa this year. 42 00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,619 Why don't you just go without him? 43 00:01:37,662 --> 00:01:40,100 You're right, I can totally go places by myself. 44 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,318 You want to go with me? 45 00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:42,667 I'm not going anywhere till 46 00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:43,755 I find Jill's diamond necklace. 47 00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:44,843 She's gonna kill me. 48 00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:46,323 And you're sure it didn't end up 49 00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:48,020 in the backseat of your date's car? 50 00:01:48,064 --> 00:01:49,979 My date's car was a city bus. 51 00:01:50,022 --> 00:01:52,155 ADAM: Okay, I'm up, 52 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,549 and I really want to go with you. 53 00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:57,160 Forget it, I'm going by myself. 54 00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:58,509 [door closes] 55 00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:00,032 Thank God. 56 00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,689 Do you have, like, 40 aspirin or some bacon? 57 00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,215 ♪ 58 00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:29,149 What's this booth? 59 00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,759 Oh, some kind of lamb. 60 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,195 I don't know what they do to the poor little bastards, 61 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,675 but I'm back for fourths. 62 00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:37,331 It's actually a post-modern take on haggis. 63 00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:38,810 What they do is they take the sheep's stomach, 64 00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:39,942 they char the lining... 65 00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,291 No, no, no. The guy over there 66 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:42,336 told me what sweetbreads were. 67 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:44,860 I had to spit 'em in a plant. 68 00:02:44,903 --> 00:02:46,949 Spoiler alert-- pancreas. 69 00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,385 [chuckles] 70 00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:50,431 Hey, green wristband, huh? 71 00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:53,347 Yeah, it's 50 bucks cheaper for the food only, 72 00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:54,913 and I'm not drinking. 73 00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:57,873 So it's just me and the toddlers. And me. 74 00:02:57,916 --> 00:02:59,135 Nice. 75 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:01,224 So are you a green wristband 76 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,357 just for today, or all the time? 77 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,707 Actually, I've been one for about 18 months. 78 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:07,056 Two years. 79 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:08,840 And the green wristband club 80 00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,102 just got a little cooler. 81 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,453 Plus, we get free admission 82 00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,498 to the bouncy castle. 83 00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:19,851 Well, it's official. 84 00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,940 None of this pairs well with iced tea. 85 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:24,421 Well, in defense of the iced tea, 86 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:27,163 that deconstructed Tater Tot was just weird. 87 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,645 Try this ahi. 88 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,302 Mmm. That's good. 89 00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,216 Right? 90 00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,132 I should bring some of that home 91 00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,699 for my boyfriend. 92 00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:44,920 Yeah, you should. 93 00:03:44,963 --> 00:03:46,269 Where is he today? 94 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,271 To be honest, he had his own 95 00:03:48,315 --> 00:03:49,925 little food and wine festival last night. 96 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,014 And by that I mean Hot Pockets and bourbon. 97 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,712 I remember that festival. 98 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:56,453 So you remember what he felt like this morning. 99 00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:58,238 He have a little trouble standing up? 100 00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:59,761 It would have taken a miracle. 101 00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:03,808 My ex took perverse glee in my hangovers. 102 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,157 She'd open all the curtains, 103 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,377 make my son practice his clarinet. 104 00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:10,641 Wow, points for creativity. 105 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,817 So, was drinking the reason you split up? 106 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:16,081 Well, that and burning down our restaurant. 107 00:04:16,125 --> 00:04:18,388 Oh, my God. 108 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,825 People tell you don't drink and drive. 109 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,044 What they really should say is 110 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,350 don't drink and fry chicken. 111 00:04:23,393 --> 00:04:25,003 [laughs] 112 00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:27,354 Well, at least you can joke about it now. 113 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,443 Yeah. And I'm proud to say 114 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,227 I just opened up a new place. 115 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,924 That's great. It sounds like 116 00:04:32,968 --> 00:04:34,448 you're getting everything back on track. 117 00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:36,450 Well, not everything. 118 00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,321 My kids still don't speak to me. 119 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,761 For what it's worth, my daughter didn't talk 120 00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:45,154 to me for a long time. 121 00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,765 But things are in a better place now? 122 00:04:47,809 --> 00:04:49,550 Yeah, we talk all the time. 123 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,899 Careful what you wish for. 124 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,514 Hey, there's Jill. 125 00:04:57,558 --> 00:04:58,950 Did you find her necklace? 126 00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:01,344 Shut up. 127 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:04,042 Hey, Christy. How was your big date? 128 00:05:04,086 --> 00:05:05,783 Good, good. 129 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,785 I got all the salad I could eat. 130 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,526 Okay. 131 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,615 So, um, did you bring my necklace? 132 00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,443 Oh, darn! 133 00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:15,053 Siri was supposed to remind me, 134 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,707 but the bitch just hates me. 135 00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,362 I will bring it to you tomorrow. 136 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,407 It's on my nightstand. 137 00:05:20,450 --> 00:05:22,147 Right next to her Bible. 138 00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:24,106 Excuse me, miss, do you have 139 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,934 deconstructed Tater Tots here 140 00:05:25,977 --> 00:05:27,762 or, uh, just Oreos? 141 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:30,286 Hey, what are you doing here? 142 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,548 Well, you mentioned this meeting, 143 00:05:31,592 --> 00:05:32,984 I thought I'd check it out. 144 00:05:33,028 --> 00:05:35,378 I'm glad you did. 145 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,467 This is my daughter Christy. 146 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,773 My friends Marjorie, Wendy, Jill. 147 00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,166 Everybody, this is Joe.Hey, everybody. 148 00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:42,777 Hey, Joe. 149 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,692 Well, come on, let's find us some seats. 150 00:05:44,735 --> 00:05:45,823 Great. 151 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,260 Hang on there, Tater Tots. 152 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,350 I'll be right there. 153 00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,873 Who's that? 154 00:05:51,916 --> 00:05:53,918 Oh, him? We met at the food thing. 155 00:05:53,962 --> 00:05:55,267 What food thing? 156 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:57,226 Boy, are you missing the point of the story. 157 00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:01,796 I had to listen to you yap all night about 158 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,798 infused octopus balls, and somehow 159 00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,408 man with balls slipped your mind? 160 00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:08,498 What? I made a friend. End of story. 161 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,153 Did you tell him about Adam?Yes, I did. 162 00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,546 Did you tell Adam about him? 163 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:16,419 I told him about Adam. 164 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,639 You know, Bonnie, when we keep secrets, 165 00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:20,075 we set a ball rolling, 166 00:06:20,118 --> 00:06:22,164 and it always rolls downhill. 167 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,427 What do you have, a "motto of the day" calendar? 168 00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:25,820 Actually, I do. 169 00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,563 Well, there is no secret. 170 00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:31,739 I didn't mention it to Adam because why make him jealous 171 00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,131 for no reason? 172 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,742 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sit 173 00:06:34,785 --> 00:06:37,005 with my new friend, who, as far as I'm concerned, 174 00:06:37,048 --> 00:06:38,441 has no genitalia. 175 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,446 Okay, who had eight months 176 00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,448 in the Bonnie-Adam breakup pool? 177 00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,537 Yeah, she is definitely playing with fire. 178 00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,886 I agree. 179 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,584 "Those things left unsaid 180 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:52,716 often poison the marriage bed." 181 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,502 Okay, it's not cute anymore, Marjorie. 182 00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,299 Who you texting? 183 00:07:10,342 --> 00:07:13,258 Uh, just a friend. 184 00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:15,086 Who? 185 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:18,176 Suzanne. 186 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,004 Have I met her? 187 00:07:20,048 --> 00:07:21,658 Are you kidding me? 188 00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,878 You sat next to her at Jill's birthday party. 189 00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,357 I did? 190 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:27,664 Honey, I'm worried about you. 191 00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:30,014 She's vegan, does driftwood art. 192 00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,451 You said she smelled funny. 193 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,366 I really don't remember. 194 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:37,935 Oh, that's sad, 'cause she always asks about you. 195 00:07:40,024 --> 00:07:42,331 I'm gonna get something to drink. 196 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,031 Hey, Bonnie. 197 00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:48,206 Yeah? 198 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:50,644 Tell Suzanne I said hi. 199 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,429 Will do. 200 00:07:57,738 --> 00:07:58,782 Hey. How's it going? 201 00:07:58,826 --> 00:08:00,001 Terrible. 202 00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:02,003 I still can't find Jill's necklace. 203 00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:04,701 I've looked in the bureau...Rhetorical! 204 00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:07,704 What are you doing? 205 00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,837 I'm Googling how to fake a robbery. 206 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,143 Ask me, I'm right here. 207 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,668 [phone chimes] 208 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,801 Who are you texting so late? 209 00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:18,846 Just a friend. 210 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,372 Not with that smile on your face. 211 00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,680 You're texting that guy, aren't you? 212 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:28,246 It's not a big deal. 213 00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,118 We enjoy hanging out together. 214 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,989 And that's it?That's it. 215 00:08:32,033 --> 00:08:33,382 And he invited me to dinner 216 00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:34,557 at his new restaurant tomorrow. 217 00:08:34,601 --> 00:08:36,298 Again, not a big deal. 218 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,908 Then why don't you bring Adam? 219 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,562 They don't have anything in common. 220 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,869 Sure they do-- they both have the same girlfriend. 221 00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:48,528 The only thing that could've made that meal better 222 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:50,181 is if I could have a cigarette right now. 223 00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,097 I would kill for a cigarette. 224 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,882 I'm gonna say something controversial. 225 00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,275 Post-sex cigarette, a little overrated. 226 00:08:57,319 --> 00:09:00,365 Post-beef cigarette, magic! 227 00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,283 Well, thanks again. 228 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:06,720 You're welcome. 229 00:09:06,763 --> 00:09:07,895 It's a great restaurant. 230 00:09:07,938 --> 00:09:09,418 Try not to burn it down. 231 00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,420 I will. 232 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,248 I hope your daughter enjoys the short ribs. 233 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:14,989 Oh, these are never gonna make it home. 234 00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,599 I'm gonna eat them at the first red light. 235 00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,602 Can we do this again? 236 00:09:19,646 --> 00:09:21,691 Sure. I'd like that. 237 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,041 Although, I gotta tell you, 238 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,348 my friends are giving me a hard time 239 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,697 about us hanging out. 240 00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:28,872 Yeah? 241 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:31,658 They think something's going on between us. 242 00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:34,138 I think they might be right. 243 00:09:38,273 --> 00:09:40,188 ♪ 244 00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,980 Mmm. Hang on.I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. 245 00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,504 It's just...I-I get it. I totally get it. 246 00:09:54,202 --> 00:09:56,030 [both moaning] 247 00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,816 We have to stop. 248 00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,775 I have a boyfriend, and you know that. 249 00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:04,342 I do, but I just keep feeling 250 00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:05,996 like there's something going on here. 251 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,826 There is, it's called friendship. 252 00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,959 Does your boyfriend know where you are right now? 253 00:10:12,002 --> 00:10:14,788 All right, I screwed up. 254 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:16,006 I admit it. 255 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:20,010 I like this, 256 00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,882 but I love Adam. 257 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,538 I have to go. 258 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,458 These are just too good. 259 00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,244 ♪ 260 00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,641 Hey! 261 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,207 What are you doing here? 262 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:45,427 Ah, just dropping off some flowers for your mom. 263 00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:46,994 Wait, what are you doing here? 264 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,039 Bonnie told me you two were going out for dinner. 265 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,693 She did?Yeah. 266 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,782 Oh, sure, right. 267 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,697 But I ended up getting called into work. 268 00:10:54,741 --> 00:10:57,047 See, Julie's stepfather died-- she's this girl I work with. 269 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,093 I think he had an aneurysm. She covered for me 270 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,704 when I hurt my back, so I felt like I had to do the same. 271 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,706 I would've anyway-- I mean, he died. 272 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:06,100 Man, aneurysms, huh? 273 00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:09,538 You're just walkin' along and bam, game over. 274 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:11,235 Is that a new jacket? 275 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,497 No, no, it's not. 276 00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,064 So, where's your mom? 277 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:16,501 Oh, she ended up going out to dinner with Marjorie. 278 00:11:16,545 --> 00:11:17,894 Ah, okay. 279 00:11:17,938 --> 00:11:19,766 Do you mind if I come in and wait? 280 00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,071 Sure. 281 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,421 These are beautiful. 282 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:27,034 Yeah, I needed to apologize for being such a jerk the other day. 283 00:11:27,077 --> 00:11:30,559 You know what would really make her feel better? 284 00:11:30,602 --> 00:11:32,126 You should get her this necklace. 285 00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,129 By tomorrow. 286 00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,044 [chuckling]: It's kind of pricey. 287 00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,785 I think I'm gonna stick with the flowers. 288 00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:42,702 I thought you loved her, but okay. 289 00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,531 Can I get you something to drink? 290 00:11:46,575 --> 00:11:48,272 Uh, no, I'm good. 291 00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:49,534 You sure? 292 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:50,971 70% of all Americans are dehydrated; 293 00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,494 they don't even know it. [chuckles] 294 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,018 That settles it, I'm getting you some water. 295 00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,674 You know, Adam, 296 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,589 she and Marjorie might go to a movie after dinner, 297 00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,634 so you could be waiting a long time. 298 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:04,375 That's okay, I got nothing going on. 299 00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:06,943 [quietly]: Of course you don't. 300 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,554 Adam. 301 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,078 What are you doing here? 302 00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,296 Surprising my girlfriend. 303 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:13,341 [nervous chuckle] 304 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:14,951 You sure are. 305 00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,039 How was dinner? 306 00:12:16,083 --> 00:12:17,824 My dinner?[phone chimes] 307 00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,651 It was, uh, okay. 308 00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,610 I-- Christy ended up having to go to work, 309 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,526 so I went with Marjorie and she was just blah, blah, blah, blah, 310 00:12:24,569 --> 00:12:25,570 sobriety. 311 00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,008 [chuckles] 312 00:12:28,051 --> 00:12:30,401 Oh, look who's back. 313 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,881 Here you go. 314 00:12:31,925 --> 00:12:33,143 Just 'cause I'm wearing this 315 00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,405 doesn't mean you have to tip. 316 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,972 But you can. 317 00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,235 Look, Adam brought you flowers. 318 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,976 What a wonderful boyfriend. 319 00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,065 All right, good night. 320 00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,242 That's really sweet of you. 321 00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:48,028 Hmm. So where'd you and Marjorie go for dinner? 322 00:12:48,071 --> 00:12:49,899 Oh, a new place. 323 00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:50,987 How was it? 324 00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:53,033 The food was amazing. 325 00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:54,382 Maybe we should try it sometime. 326 00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,384 But not amazing in a good way. 327 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,734 In fact, I should just brush my teeth. 328 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,218 Christy? Christy! 329 00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:05,741 Ugh. What? 330 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,353 What are you doing? 331 00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:10,746 I'm looking for the necklace! 332 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,269 Under there? 333 00:13:12,313 --> 00:13:14,750 I thought I saw something shiny. 334 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,145 It was just a Rolo wrapper. 335 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:21,017 Well, that's it. 336 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:23,063 I'm just gonna have to tell Jill I lost it 337 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:25,108 and hope someday she needs a kidney. 338 00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,198 Joe kissed me. 339 00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:29,460 What? 340 00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:31,462 It was completely out of the blue. 341 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:34,248 I got to spit. 342 00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,902 How was it out of the blue? 343 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,034 You were on a freakin' date.It was not a date. 344 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:40,167 He pay for dinner?It was his restaurant. 345 00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:42,082 You shave your legs?I'm not an animal. 346 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,039 Date! 347 00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,563 Okay, fine, it was a date. 348 00:13:45,607 --> 00:13:47,914 Oh, my God, how am I gonna tell Adam? 349 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,046 You're not. What? 350 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,613 Do you like Joe? 351 00:13:51,656 --> 00:13:53,267 Are you gonna go out with him again? 352 00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,530 No, I am in love with Adam. 353 00:13:55,573 --> 00:13:57,314 Then don't blow it up over one mistake 354 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,620 that you're never gonna make again. 355 00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,187 But I feel so guilty. 356 00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,449 And you should. 357 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,885 But you don't get to hurt Adam 358 00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,191 just to make yourself feel better. 359 00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,933 When did you get so smart? 360 00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:09,892 It's easy to fix other people's problems. 361 00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:13,896 Meanwhile, I owe Jill $87,000. 362 00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:20,294 Crazy thought, did you try looking in your jewelry box? 363 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:22,078 Seriously, Mom? 364 00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,863 You're right, that was stupid. 365 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,734 Anyway, thanks for your help. 366 00:14:29,694 --> 00:14:31,218 [sighs] 367 00:14:31,261 --> 00:14:35,048 If it were there, I would've had to kill myself. 368 00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:38,790 How'd you know these long blue things are my favorites? 369 00:14:38,834 --> 00:14:41,445 I told the guy at the flower shop I screwed up pretty bad, 370 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:44,144 he said, "You're gonna want to go with the long blue things." 371 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:49,758 Well, thank you, they're perfect. 372 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,629 I'm really sorry about last weekend. 373 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,109 Hey, we all make mistakes. 374 00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,371 Let's move on. 375 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,504 No, no, I-I want to say this. 376 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:59,681 From now on, if I tell you that I'm gonna go with you somewhere, 377 00:14:59,724 --> 00:15:02,597 I'm gonna go, 'cause I know that I can count on you, 378 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,209 and you deserve the same. 379 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,261 [sighs] 380 00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:16,567 A guy kissed me tonight. 381 00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:17,960 What? 382 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:22,008 I wasn't at dinner with Marjorie. 383 00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,967 I was with a guy I met at the food festival. 384 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:27,404 Hold on. 385 00:15:27,448 --> 00:15:29,972 [chuckles] 386 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,234 You're seeing somebody else? 387 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,715 Not seeing-- we're just friends. 388 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,978 CHRISTY: I found the necklace!Friends don't kiss. 389 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:36,848 Bye. 390 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:43,768 The important thing is I stopped him. 391 00:15:43,812 --> 00:15:45,814 And that makes it okay? 392 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,468 Well, the old Bonnie would've slept with him 393 00:15:47,511 --> 00:15:48,817 without giving it a second thought. 394 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,558 You should be proud of me. 395 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,212 Proud of you? 396 00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:53,865 Hey, I didn't shoot a puppy today with a BB gun. 397 00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,389 Are you proud of me? 398 00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,869 Well, if you had a history of shooting puppies, 399 00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,828 yeah, I would be. 400 00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:02,613 So tell me, what's the big attraction for this guy, huh? 401 00:16:02,657 --> 00:16:05,051 Or are you just tired of being with somebody in a wheelchair? 402 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,967 That's what you think of me? 403 00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:14,625 You want to know what I liked about him? 404 00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,018 He's sober. 405 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,020 Oh, I should've guessed. He's sober. 406 00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,675 I'm sorry, but there is a difference. 407 00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:23,199 Sometimes when you're drinking you can be right next to me 408 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,506 and I feel completely alone. 409 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:26,768 Yeah, well, I know another way 410 00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,030 to make you feel completely alone. 411 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:31,251 Are you kidding me? 412 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:33,079 And I got news for you. 413 00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:36,691 It is also no picnic being with someone who never drinks! 414 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,562 Well, how would you know? You'd be too hungover 415 00:16:38,606 --> 00:16:39,955 to even go to the picnic. 416 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:45,221 Oh, my God, you made up smelly Suzanne! 417 00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,056 Here you go, one diamond necklace. 418 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,405 Thank you. 419 00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:58,234 You all saw it, it is officially returned. 420 00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:01,803 Oh, that is so beautiful. 421 00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:04,327 I'll never own anything that nice. 422 00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,589 Sure you will. 423 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:06,851 Here. 424 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:07,591 What? 425 00:17:08,636 --> 00:17:09,985 You're giving it to her? 426 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,421 It's just a glass knock-off. 427 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:13,423 I keep the real one in a safe deposit box. 428 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,339 Why didn't you tell me?! 429 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:19,777 Well, if you knew it was fake, you wouldn't feel special. 430 00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,040 Have you met me? 431 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,824 I never feel special! 432 00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:25,305 Okay, well, next time I'll let you borrow the real one. 433 00:17:25,348 --> 00:17:27,742 What are you trying to do, kill me? 434 00:17:29,135 --> 00:17:31,224 Bonnie, stop checking your phone. 435 00:17:31,267 --> 00:17:33,095 He'll call when he calls. 436 00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:35,141 I don't know what I was thinking with Joe. 437 00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:37,578 Well, maybe you liked the danger. 438 00:17:37,621 --> 00:17:38,840 What are you talking about? 439 00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,755 Oh, come on, when we were drinking, 440 00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,670 our lives were packed with drama. 441 00:17:42,713 --> 00:17:44,889 Sometimes when you're sober, you miss that. 442 00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,587 I know I do. 443 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,589 There was a time where I'd pick up a glass of champagne 444 00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:50,112 in L.A. and wake up in Paris. 445 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:52,375 Same thing happened to me, 446 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:55,074 except I woke up in a panel van. 447 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,081 I sure don't miss the drama. 448 00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,735 Waking up with no idea where my car is, 449 00:18:04,779 --> 00:18:07,608 or who autographed my boob with a Sharpie. 450 00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,393 Oh, I bet you were a fun drunk. 451 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,439 You'd think, but no. 452 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,355 [phone chimes] 453 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,226 Oh, God, it's Adam. 454 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,798 He said he'll be... 455 00:18:23,841 --> 00:18:25,626 [chuckles] out of his apartment this afternoon 456 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:28,063 [voice breaking]: and I can come pick up my stuff. 457 00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:33,329 Oh, Bonnie. 458 00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:35,984 [sighs] 459 00:18:37,855 --> 00:18:39,988 The only relationship that lasts forever 460 00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:43,209 is the one we have with ourselves. 461 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,427 [clicks tongue] 462 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,392 Yeah, I deserved that. 31769

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