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1
00:00:01,784 --> 00:00:05,440
Previously onMom...We caught Roscoe
smoking marijuana.
2
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:06,615
Oh, no.
What?
3
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:07,920
Roscoe, after everything
4
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,052
you'’ve seen me and your grandma
go through,
5
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:10,184
why would you do this?
6
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,186
I'’m sorry.
It was the first time.
7
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,274
I didn'’t even like it.
8
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,102
Ah, he thinks we'’re stupid.
9
00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:19,106
What do you want from me?
I said I'’m sorry.
10
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:21,717
It'’s a crutch that people use
when, you know,
11
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,501
they'’re dealing with feelings
they don'’t like.
12
00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,720
I get it.
13
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:26,374
Is that why you did it?
14
00:00:26,417 --> 00:00:28,289
The truth?
Yeah.
15
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,204
We were out of beer.
16
00:00:30,247 --> 00:00:32,075
[tires screeching]
17
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:37,080
He'’s 12-years-old,
18
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,821
Marjorie, and he'’s getting high,
19
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,736
and I can'’t help worrying
he'’s gonna need his college fund
20
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,042
for bail and then
he'’s gonna find out
21
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:44,305
I never started
his college fund.
22
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,481
I know but...
23
00:00:46,524 --> 00:00:48,135
Yeah but...
24
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:50,267
But I'’m...
25
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:51,834
Well, if you'’re just gonna be
calm and reasonable,
26
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:54,097
I can'’t talk to you!
27
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,881
Okay, here he comes, got to go.
28
00:00:55,925 --> 00:00:57,492
Love you, too.
29
00:00:57,535 --> 00:00:59,711
Hey, buddy.
30
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,104
Hey.
31
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,279
How'’d therapy go?
32
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:03,672
Fine.
33
00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,326
What'’d you think
of Dr. LaSalle?
34
00:01:05,369 --> 00:01:06,675
He'’s okay.
35
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:07,850
"Okay."
36
00:01:07,893 --> 00:01:09,069
That can mean
a lot of things,
37
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,853
like, "okay!" Or,
38
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,550
[flatly]:
"okay."
39
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,335
I like him.
40
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,511
Good.
41
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:18,469
[engine starts]
Good.
42
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:29,480
I know I'’m not supposed to ask
43
00:01:29,524 --> 00:01:31,134
what you talked about
with your therapist,
44
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,309
and I never would,
45
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:35,138
but if you want to tell me,
you can.
46
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,922
I know.
47
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:40,361
Operators are
standing by.
48
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,972
What'’s an operator?
49
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:44,582
Never mind.
50
00:01:46,236 --> 00:01:47,324
Want to stop and get
a slice of pizza?
51
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:48,369
Maybe chat?
52
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,371
No, I just want to go home.
53
00:01:50,414 --> 00:01:52,112
I'’ve been talking for an hour.
54
00:01:52,155 --> 00:01:54,331
Sure, sorry, of course.
55
00:01:57,204 --> 00:01:59,162
Talking for an hour.
56
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,164
Must'’ve had
a lot to say.
57
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:05,168
Did my name come up?
58
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,691
[sighs]
59
00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:09,172
That'’s a yes.
60
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,131
♪
61
00:02:28,844 --> 00:02:30,019
Aren'’t you eating?
62
00:02:30,062 --> 00:02:31,412
I went to a lot of trouble
for this dinner.
63
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,373
Hey, I had to park
64
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,680
and go inside
for extra sauce packets.
65
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:40,769
Sorry, I'’ve got a lot
on my mind.
66
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:42,118
Oh, relax.
67
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:43,163
He'’s seeing a therapist,
68
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,382
he'’ll work it out.
69
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,340
What are you doing?
70
00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:47,689
Roscoe knows the rule--
71
00:02:47,732 --> 00:02:48,994
if you'’re away from the table
five minutes,
72
00:02:49,038 --> 00:02:52,172
your food'’s in play.
73
00:02:52,215 --> 00:02:54,304
He has been in the bathroom
a while.
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00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:55,305
Should I check on him?
75
00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,437
Not that this will stop you,
76
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,047
but no.
77
00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,397
Kids need space,
take it from me.
78
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,183
Is that why
79
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,228
I didn'’t see you
my entire sophomore year?
80
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:07,056
You'’re welcome.
81
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,537
Well, I'’m not doing that.
82
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:11,060
Baxter gave him space
83
00:03:11,103 --> 00:03:12,757
and he started getting high
over there.
84
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:15,238
Oh, come on, Christy, he was
probably getting high here, too.
85
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:17,762
I'’m checking on him.
86
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,416
Five minutes on your drumstick,
87
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,417
the clock is ticking.
88
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,029
[knocking]
89
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:25,509
Roscoe?
90
00:03:25,553 --> 00:03:26,858
What'’s goin' on in there?
91
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:27,946
ROSCOE:
What do you think?
92
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:29,296
I'’m going to the bathroom.
93
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:32,212
Taking you a long time.
94
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:34,083
ROSCOE:
It'’s a number two.
95
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,521
Oh really,
at this time of night?
96
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,394
ROSCOE:
This is when it wants out.
97
00:03:40,437 --> 00:03:42,570
Well, you'’re certainly
giving him plenty
98
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,354
to talk to his therapist about.
99
00:03:44,398 --> 00:03:46,226
What if he'’s smoking pot
in there?
100
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:49,229
Roscoe, are you smoking pot
in there?
No!
101
00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,317
You want to plant some weed
on him
102
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,232
like a dirty cop
or can we go now?
103
00:03:52,275 --> 00:03:54,538
[toilet flushes]
104
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:57,237
When you come out,
I better smell poop!
105
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:00,675
[door opens]
106
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:02,720
Enjoy.
107
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:09,249
Put your shoes on,
let'’s go.
108
00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,598
[TV playing]Where are we going?
109
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,469
Grandma and I are
going to a meeting,
110
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:14,471
and I'’m not leaving
you here alone.
[turns off TV]
111
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:17,300
Why do you have to go
to a meeting?
112
00:04:17,344 --> 00:04:18,388
Because if I miss one,
113
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,563
I start to get a little crazy.
114
00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:21,478
Start?
115
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:24,568
Ready to roll?
116
00:04:24,612 --> 00:04:25,613
Just waiting for him
117
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:26,701
to put his shoes on.
118
00:04:26,744 --> 00:04:28,442
Why are we dragging him with us?
119
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:30,792
Because I'’m not comfortable
leaving him here alone.
120
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,576
Why? There'’s nothing
in the house.
121
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,491
What'’s he gonna do,
smoke a bowl of Grape-Nuts?
122
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,450
Don'’t give him ideas.
123
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,799
Get in the car.
124
00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,496
Let me finish
putting my shoes on.
125
00:04:44,196 --> 00:04:45,633
[Bonnie sighs]
126
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,728
Slower.
127
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:01,953
Would anyone else
like to share?
128
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,346
I would.
129
00:05:03,390 --> 00:05:04,565
Hey, I'’m Jill.
I'’m an alcoholic.
130
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:05,740
OTHERS:
Hi, Jill.
131
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,132
Christy, I hope
your son'’s headphones
132
00:05:07,176 --> 00:05:08,569
are on nice and tight, '’cause
133
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,179
I got some grown-up stuff
I want to share.
134
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,528
Hang on.
135
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,313
Good news, Roscoe,
you'’re adopted.
136
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:15,750
Share away.
137
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,534
[sighing]:
Okay.
138
00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:18,970
So, I had dinner with
an old boyfriend last night.
139
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,756
Thank you, Facebook.
140
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,758
I looked him up to see
if he had gained any weight
141
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,368
or lost his hair.
142
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,674
Turned out, he hadn'’t
gained any weight
143
00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,632
but he had lost his wife.
144
00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:29,981
Not to death, to divorce,
145
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:31,374
so it wasn'’t super sad.
146
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:33,724
Anyway,
147
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:35,900
we got together
and I realized right away
148
00:05:35,944 --> 00:05:39,513
that he was still loud
and obnoxious and crass.
149
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,949
Then I slept with him.
150
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:43,995
But I did it
with a clear head
151
00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:45,562
and I knew where I was
in the morning,
152
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:46,868
so that'’s progress.
153
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:48,391
Way to go, sobriety.
154
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,176
Thank you.
155
00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:53,701
Who'’s next?
156
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,137
Christy wants
to share.
157
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,225
I don'’t need to.
158
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,400
I disagree.
159
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,706
Tell her she can'’t
make me share.
160
00:05:58,749 --> 00:06:00,751
You can'’t make her share.
161
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,492
But I think you should.
162
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,755
[groans]
Fine.
163
00:06:04,799 --> 00:06:06,496
Christy, alcoholic.
164
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:07,497
OTHERS:
Hi, Christy.
165
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,586
Well, I'’m still
having a problem
166
00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:10,674
with my son
167
00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,981
and as you can see, he'’s...
168
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,548
What the hell?
169
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,679
Where'’d he go?
170
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:17,202
He walked out during
Jill'’s share.
171
00:06:17,246 --> 00:06:18,726
Why didn'’t somebody
say something?
172
00:06:18,769 --> 00:06:21,206
What were we
supposed to say?
173
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:22,817
Well, don'’t look at me,
I was dozing off.
174
00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:24,427
Hey!
Well,
175
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:27,169
next time, don'’t
slow-roll the sex part.
176
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:29,998
Am I the only
sane person here?
177
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:31,695
Roscoe!
Roscoe!
178
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:35,133
Okay, while Nancy Drew is
solving this mystery,
179
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,179
I'’ll go.
180
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,789
Bonnie, alcoholic.
181
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,225
OTHERS:
Hi, Bonnie.
182
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,141
Well, you just got a
glimpse into my life.
183
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,187
With my daughter in a
constant state of panic,
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00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:47,058
I find myself suddenly
being the wise,
185
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:49,539
old voice of reason.
186
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:51,889
And it makes me feel like
Marjorie and I don'’t like it.
187
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,028
What?
188
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,769
Your mom'’s looking for you.
189
00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:03,466
I'’m right here.
190
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,295
CHRISTY: Roscoe!
191
00:07:06,338 --> 00:07:07,296
Roscoe!
192
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:08,253
Should we tell her?
193
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:09,429
I don'’t want her back, do you?
194
00:07:11,605 --> 00:07:12,562
CHRISTY:
Roscoe!
195
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:13,563
Excuse me.
196
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:14,738
You gonna go get her?
197
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,087
No, I'’m going to the bathroom.
198
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,092
CHRISTY:
I'’m not saying
you'’re a bad father,
199
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:24,574
I just want to make sure
he'’s properly supervised.
200
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,489
No, Baxter,
I'’m not overreacting.
201
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,711
What are you trying to do,
quote the serenity prayer?
202
00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:32,452
'’Cause that's the lyrics
to "Livin'’ on a Prayer."
203
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,543
ANNOUNCER:
He cuts to the middle.
204
00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:38,458
There he is, first down!Got to go.
205
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,634
27 yard line, Michael...[Adam chuckles]
206
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,287
What the hell'’s going on here?
207
00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:43,724
We'’re watching a game.
208
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:45,508
No, you'’re undermining
209
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:46,640
everything I'’m trying to do.
210
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,902
What are you talking about?
211
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,599
I know what
she'’s talking about.
212
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,688
Good luck.
213
00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,690
What'’s your deal?Bup-bup-bup.
214
00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,649
ANNOUNCER:
...at the slot, nice break.
215
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:56,650
[door slams]
216
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:57,912
Maybe you don'’t know,
217
00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:00,131
but we are in a crisis
with that young man
218
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,656
and you'’re sitting here
getting drunk in front of him!
219
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:03,744
I'’m not getting drunk.
220
00:08:03,787 --> 00:08:05,659
I'’m getting happy.
221
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,617
You'’re making drinking
look cool.
222
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:09,010
I make everything look cool,
223
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:11,055
it'’s what I do.
224
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:12,535
Don'’t you sass me!
225
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,536
Don'’t you talk to me
226
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:14,711
like I'’m a six-year-old.
227
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,930
Nobody told me I can'’t drink
228
00:08:15,973 --> 00:08:16,931
in front of the kid.
229
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:17,888
What'’s going on?
230
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,107
Why didn'’t you tell him
231
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:20,151
he couldn'’t drink
in front of Roscoe?
232
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,326
Because that'’s stupid,
233
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,632
and I don'’t say stupid things.
234
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:23,807
Sure you do.
235
00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:24,808
Wait,
236
00:08:24,852 --> 00:08:26,114
we'’re on the same side.
237
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,681
Oh, so now there are sides?
238
00:08:27,724 --> 00:08:29,465
Everyone against me?
239
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,727
We'’re not against you,
it'’s just that you're
240
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:31,815
trying to raise your kid
like he'’s
241
00:08:31,859 --> 00:08:33,774
the boy in the plastic bubble.
242
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:34,905
Good movie.
243
00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:36,341
John Travolta.
People didn'’t really
244
00:08:36,385 --> 00:08:38,126
respect his acting chops
coming off of Kotter,
245
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:40,520
but he showed some
serious range in that.
246
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:41,869
What is wrong with you?
247
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:43,871
Sorry, sorry.
248
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,829
Turns out I am a little drunk.
249
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:47,527
All right, new rule:
250
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:48,832
no more beer in the house, ever!
251
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,747
What about...No weed either!
252
00:08:50,791 --> 00:08:51,661
[groaning]
253
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,054
And if he'’s coming over,
254
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:54,272
I need to know about it
ahead of time!
255
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,622
Why?Because I need to know!
256
00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:57,798
Okay, you'’re way over the line.
257
00:08:57,841 --> 00:08:59,277
Don'’t you tell me
I'’m over the line!
258
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:00,540
A couple of years ago,
259
00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:02,629
the only lines you knew
went up your nose!
260
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,938
Crazy never takes a day off
here, does it?
261
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:15,598
So it turns out,
262
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,774
my old boyfriend is
a little less divorced
263
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:19,820
than I was led to believe.
264
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:20,951
What does that mean?
265
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:22,083
He'’s happily married
266
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,215
and his wife
was out of town.
267
00:09:24,259 --> 00:09:25,782
I guess that'’s
the end of that.
268
00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:28,655
Well, that'’s
the obvious move.
269
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:30,657
I'’ll keep you posted.
270
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,528
Where'’s your mom?
271
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,790
Who cares?
272
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:34,965
Oh, no, don'’t tell me
273
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,750
you two are bickering.
274
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,534
Back me up here.
275
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,232
Her boyfriend was drinking beer
in front of Roscoe.
276
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:42,712
That'’s a huge problem, right?
277
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:44,366
I don'’t think so.
278
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:45,933
Wow.
279
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:48,979
Et tu, Marjorie?
280
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:51,460
Someone wants us to know
they'’re going to college.
281
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:56,726
Of all people, I thought
you'’d see what I'm up against.
282
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,816
Well, Christy, you have to know
that watching your son
283
00:09:59,860 --> 00:10:01,949
every minute of the day
is not the answer.
284
00:10:01,992 --> 00:10:04,821
I think you'’re wrong.
I think it'’s the perfect answer.
285
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:07,737
You know when I
was a little girl,
286
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,565
my parents gave
me a baby duck.
287
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,914
I named him Lucky.
288
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,221
This better go
somewhere, Wendy.
289
00:10:13,264 --> 00:10:15,179
Hang on.
290
00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:17,138
I was so afraid
that something would happen
291
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:19,706
to my little baby duck,
I took him with me everywhere.
292
00:10:19,749 --> 00:10:22,404
Seriously, I'’m a woman
on the edge.
293
00:10:22,447 --> 00:10:25,407
He had a cage in the backyard,
but I was worried
294
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:28,149
coyotes would eat him,
so I brought him to bed with me.
295
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:29,672
And?
296
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:33,676
And... I accidentally rolled
on top of him in my sleep,
297
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,374
and that was it for poor Lucky.
298
00:10:36,418 --> 00:10:39,726
So you'’re saying I could kill
my son by caring about him?
299
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:42,380
I think she'’s saying,
in her own adorable way...
300
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:43,730
Thank you.
301
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:46,994
...that it is possible
to love something too much.
302
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,823
You really think
I need to stop seeing that guy?
303
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,608
Hang on, Jill.
304
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,132
I mean, his wife'’s not back
till Tuesday.
305
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,919
Christy, is there a chance
306
00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:01,704
that you'’re going past mothering
into smothering?
307
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,706
You know, Marjorie,
just because it rhymes
308
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,055
doesn'’t make it good advice.
309
00:11:05,099 --> 00:11:08,798
Oh, I'’ve been wanting
to say that for so long.
310
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,192
You'’re carrying around
so much anger
311
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,411
about your mother,
about your son.
312
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,022
Have you thought
of trying Al-Anon?
313
00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:17,677
I don'’t want to go to Al-Anon.
314
00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,679
All those people do
is bitch and moan.
315
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,859
All right, I'’ll say it.
316
00:11:25,902 --> 00:11:27,904
You'’ll fit right in!
317
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:30,254
I just think it would
help you put your focus
318
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:32,735
on yourself instead of
the things you can'’t control.
319
00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:34,563
Unbelievable.
320
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,131
I come to you with serious
concerns about my child,
321
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,699
and you give me more meetings
and dead ducks.
322
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:42,614
It was just one dead duck,
and he had a name!
323
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:51,145
What?
324
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,103
Nothing.
325
00:11:56,106 --> 00:11:57,891
It'’s just...
326
00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,153
[sighs]
327
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:05,899
When I got sober,
I began to understand
328
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:08,249
the damage that I'’d done
to my kids while I was drinking.
329
00:12:08,292 --> 00:12:09,729
And it haunts me.
330
00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,818
I beat myself up
about it every day.
331
00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:14,951
And so I just wonder
what it must be like for you
332
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:18,302
to not have any of
those feelings about yourself.
333
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:20,783
It'’s okay.
334
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:23,743
[door opens]
335
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:26,746
Hey, bud.
Hey.
336
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,748
We'’re all done,
but I'’d love to talk
337
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,706
to the two of you
for a few minutes.
338
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,099
Roscoe, you can wait here.
339
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:33,361
By himself?
340
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,798
Yeah, I saw it.
341
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:36,930
Please.
342
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,630
So I'’ve talked to
Roscoe a few times now,
343
00:12:41,673 --> 00:12:43,980
and I'’ve also spoken
to some of his teachers,
344
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,853
and I feel confident that
he does not have a drug problem.
345
00:12:46,896 --> 00:12:48,768
Oh, that'’s terrific.
346
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:50,987
An actual doctor says he
doesn'’t have a problem.
347
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:53,163
You are an actual
doctor, right?
348
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:54,382
I am.
349
00:12:54,425 --> 00:12:56,601
I'’m only asking
'’cause in California
350
00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:59,779
any clown can hang a shingle.
351
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:02,129
What are you basing that on,
what Roscoe says?
352
00:13:02,172 --> 00:13:04,435
He can lie to you
just like he lied to us.
353
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:08,004
That'’s true, but I've been
doing this a long time.
354
00:13:08,048 --> 00:13:10,659
I'’ve also been sober
for 22 years, and I think that
355
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,880
what we'’re seeing with Roscoe
is typical experimentation.
356
00:13:13,923 --> 00:13:17,840
A 12-year-old smoking pot
hardly seems typical.
357
00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,886
It'’s not as unusual
as you might think.
358
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:20,974
You were 12.
359
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:22,802
I was 11,
and you'’re not helping.
360
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:26,936
So, what,
you expect me to go home
361
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,546
and pretend this is no big deal?
362
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:30,331
I think what
Dr. LaSalle is saying...
Hey!
363
00:13:30,374 --> 00:13:34,074
I'’m not spending $150 an hour
to hear from you.
364
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,165
Can you promise me
that this isn'’t gonna lead
365
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,906
to a bigger problem
down the line?
366
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:41,951
No, I can'’t.
367
00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:44,693
But I can tell you
that your son'’s trying very hard
368
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:46,651
to rebuild his trust with you.
369
00:13:46,695 --> 00:13:49,872
Well, it takes a long time
to get my trust back.
370
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,092
I'’m going into
my third decade.
371
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:56,879
Christy, I know
what you'’re going through.
372
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:59,969
My husband and I
have teenagers ourselves.
373
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,405
It'’s a scary world,
374
00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,799
and you want to protect
them from everything.
375
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,062
But sometimes all you can do
is stay close
376
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,890
and let them find their own way.
377
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:11,894
Well put.
378
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:13,156
Hey, while we'’re here,
379
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,810
I'’ve been having
380
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,944
a recurring dream
where I'’m at a...
381
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,207
a big fancy banquet,
and there are a lot of
382
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:22,862
important people there, but
I can'’t for the life of me
383
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,212
find a place to pee.
384
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:27,083
What do you think
that means?
385
00:14:27,954 --> 00:14:29,129
Mom! Roscoe.
386
00:14:29,172 --> 00:14:31,740
Oh, sorry, I thought
we were done with him.
387
00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:35,526
Roscoe, wait here.
388
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,528
I'’m gonna talk to your dad
before you go in.
389
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,052
You mean yell at him?
390
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:41,097
Would you rather I yell at you?
391
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,098
Take your time.
392
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,103
Put those down.
393
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:49,671
Are you gonna yell at me, too?
394
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:53,109
No. I think your mom'’s done
enough of that for both of us.
395
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:55,068
I just want to know
how you'’re doing.
396
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:56,896
Everybody keeps asking me that.
397
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,114
I'’m fine.
398
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,986
You know what,
that'’s probably true.
399
00:15:00,029 --> 00:15:01,465
I think you are fine.
400
00:15:01,509 --> 00:15:02,553
You do?
401
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:04,033
Yeah.
402
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,079
Your biggest problem is
you come from a crazy family.
403
00:15:06,122 --> 00:15:07,515
BAXTER:
Oh, for God'’s sakes, Christy!
404
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:11,519
I'’m not putting a surveillance
camera in his room!
405
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:15,305
And you have every reason
to be mad at your mom and dad.
406
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,654
And even me.
407
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:18,961
I am kind of sometimes.
408
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,484
I totally get it.
409
00:15:20,528 --> 00:15:22,922
I spent most of my life
pissed off at the world.
410
00:15:22,965 --> 00:15:25,272
So I got high,
I made bad choices,
411
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,970
and then I got even higher
to forget the bad choices.
412
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,493
Your mom wasn'’t
much different.
413
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:34,977
She was mad at me,
so she did a lot of dumb things.
414
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,327
Thank God both of us
got our lives together.
415
00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:41,070
BAXTER: Yes, there'’s wine in
the cellar, beer in the fridge,
416
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:43,943
and thanks to you,
Xanax in the medicine cabinet!
417
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,210
My point is...
418
00:15:50,253 --> 00:15:53,213
the best thing you can do
is take your anger
419
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,910
and turn it into
something positive.
420
00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,304
In fact, if you really want
to be a rebel in this family,
421
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,827
don'’t waste your time
getting high,
422
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,655
do well in school
and succeed in life.
423
00:16:02,439 --> 00:16:04,093
I guess I can do that.
424
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,269
And if the goal is just
to piss off your mom,
425
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,445
make a lot of money
and buy Grandma a condo.
426
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:11,753
BAXTER:
You kicked me!
427
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,668
I can'’t believe
you kicked me!
428
00:16:17,846 --> 00:16:19,369
Maybe everyone'’s mad at me,
429
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,067
but I think
I'’m handling this really well.
430
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,199
Everyone ismad at
you, and you'’re not.
431
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,635
Disagree.
432
00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:26,986
I'’m a mama bear
fiercely protecting her cub.
433
00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,118
Yeah, or you'’re a
middle-aged drunk
434
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,381
who'’s projecting her fears
about herself onto her son.
435
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:33,688
Hey, I'’m not middle-aged
till next March.
436
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,302
Where'’d you come up
with this stuff anyway?
437
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,000
I'’ve been going
to Al-Anon.
438
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:42,436
Why?
439
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:45,178
Because I live with an alcoholic
who drives me nuts.
440
00:16:47,397 --> 00:16:49,051
Me?
441
00:16:50,922 --> 00:16:53,447
So, wait, you'’re going
to meetings to deal with me?
442
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,015
I go to meetings to deal
with a lot of stuff.
443
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:57,190
But, yeah, mostly you.
444
00:16:58,626 --> 00:17:00,193
How long has this been going on?
445
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,455
Not long.
446
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,587
Two years.
447
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,285
Why are we stopping?
448
00:17:05,328 --> 00:17:06,460
'’Cause I'm going to
an Al-Anon meeting.
449
00:17:06,503 --> 00:17:07,461
You want to come?
450
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:09,071
No, I would not.
451
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,334
Fine.
452
00:17:11,378 --> 00:17:13,206
You'’re not gonna try
to talk me into it?
453
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:16,035
No. I'’m leaving
that up to you.
454
00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,775
'’Cause I can't control
anyone else'’s life,
455
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:20,169
I can only
control my own.
456
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,171
And, yeah, that can
be really scary,
457
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:25,435
especially when it'’s your kid
and you love them very much.
458
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,350
And that'’s what I
learned at Al-Anon.
459
00:17:27,394 --> 00:17:29,613
Anyway, I'’ll see
you in an hour.
460
00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:31,572
Try not to
get abducted.
461
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,052
Wait.
462
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,098
Do they have coffee?
463
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,926
Yeah, but I
wouldn'’t drink it.
464
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,928
Fine, I'’ll go.
465
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,625
Great. Oh, just a heads up.
466
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,411
You'’re kind of famous in this
meeting, but not in a good way.
467
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,629
What?!
468
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:47,544
What did you say about me?!
469
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,202
When I left the house
this morning,
470
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:55,422
my wife was already
three drinks in.
471
00:17:55,465 --> 00:17:57,293
I know I'’m not
supposed to count,
472
00:17:57,337 --> 00:17:59,165
but I just happened to notice.
473
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:02,951
And when I was walking out,
she asked me if I would
474
00:18:02,994 --> 00:18:05,345
call in sick for her.
475
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:06,781
But I didn'’t do it.
476
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,741
You see,
because she'’s not sick.
477
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:15,485
I mean, she is,
but in a different way.
478
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:18,053
It used to be that
I would spend the whole day
479
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,185
just worryin'’ about her,
480
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:23,102
about us and what
was gonna happen.
481
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,976
But I actually wound up
having a good day.
482
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:31,458
Went to work,
had lunch with some friends,
483
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,982
came here, and...
484
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:37,246
I'’ll deal with home
when I get there.
485
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,292
Anyway, thanks.
486
00:18:41,598 --> 00:18:43,339
LINDA:
We have time for one more.
487
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,906
Would our newcomer
like to share?
488
00:18:49,258 --> 00:18:53,175
Oh. Okay.
489
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:56,091
Hi. I'’m Christy and I'm...
490
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,875
What am I here?
491
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,007
You'’re Christy.
492
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:00,008
That'’s it?
493
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,140
That'’s enough. Go.
494
00:19:03,316 --> 00:19:04,578
Right.
495
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,145
Uh...
496
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:12,760
I don'’t know
what to say exactly.
497
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,719
I guess what'’s happening
is, uh...
498
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:20,202
...my 12-year-old son'’s been
499
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:23,814
smoking pot and drinking beer.
500
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:25,773
And...
501
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,343
I'’m...
502
00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,261
I'’m just really, really scared.
503
00:19:39,047 --> 00:19:41,310
[quietly]: She'’s usually
a lot more annoying.
35215
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