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Wow, look at that. It's a day of the
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Wow, look at that. It's a day of the
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Wow, look at that. It's a day of the
week, which means again, America is the
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week, which means again, America is the
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week, which means again, America is the
world's punching bag. Well, guess what?
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world's punching bag. Well, guess what?
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world's punching bag. Well, guess what?
Other countries, you guys aren't so
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Other countries, you guys aren't so
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Other countries, you guys aren't so
perfect either. Okay,
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perfect either. Okay,
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perfect either. Okay,
just look at Mexico City, the most
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just look at Mexico City, the most
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just look at Mexico City, the most
creatively named city in Mexico.
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creatively named city in Mexico.
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creatively named city in Mexico.
They have a pretty big problem. And I'm
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They have a pretty big problem. And I'm
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They have a pretty big problem. And I'm
not just talking about Americans trying
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not just talking about Americans trying
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not just talking about Americans trying
to pronounce.
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>> Mexico City is sinking so quickly, you
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>> Mexico City is sinking so quickly, you
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>> Mexico City is sinking so quickly, you
can see the change from space. According
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can see the change from space. According
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can see the change from space. According
to NASA data, the city is sinking nearly
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to NASA data, the city is sinking nearly
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to NASA data, the city is sinking nearly
10 in a year. This has been happening
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10 in a year. This has been happening
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10 in a year. This has been happening
for the past century, and that's why
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for the past century, and that's why
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for the past century, and that's why
older buildings and monuments tilt.
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older buildings and monuments tilt.
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older buildings and monuments tilt.
Wow. They're sinking 10 in a year, as
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Wow. They're sinking 10 in a year, as
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Wow. They're sinking 10 in a year, as
they say in Mexico City. Oh, no.
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they say in Mexico City. Oh, no.
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they say in Mexico City. Oh, no.
Wow. We've we've really gentrified that
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Wow. We've we've really gentrified that
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Wow. We've we've really gentrified that
place, you guys. Um, now, on one hand,
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place, you guys. Um, now, on one hand,
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place, you guys. Um, now, on one hand,
this is terrible news. On the other, it
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this is terrible news. On the other, it
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this is terrible news. On the other, it
is kind of fun to think that instead of
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is kind of fun to think that instead of
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is kind of fun to think that instead of
flying to Mexico City, we'll soon be
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flying to Mexico City, we'll soon be
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flying to Mexico City, we'll soon be
able to zipline there.
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able to zipline there.
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able to zipline there.
The point is, Mexico, I know losing 10
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The point is, Mexico, I know losing 10
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The point is, Mexico, I know losing 10
inches a year might seem fast, but I've
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inches a year might seem fast, but I've
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inches a year might seem fast, but I've
seen 8 in disappear like that. Happy
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seen 8 in disappear like that. Happy
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seen 8 in disappear like that. Happy
Pride. Um,
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so sure, America's infrastructure might
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so sure, America's infrastructure might
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so sure, America's infrastructure might
be crumbling and our bridges are too
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be crumbling and our bridges are too
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be crumbling and our bridges are too
dangerous to drive on, but at least our
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dangerous to drive on, but at least our
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dangerous to drive on, but at least our
capital isn't deflating like a divorced
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capital isn't deflating like a divorced
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capital isn't deflating like a divorced
dad's air mattress. So, loento Mexico.
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dad's air mattress. So, loento Mexico.
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dad's air mattress. So, loento Mexico.
But that is so not our problem.
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Now, LET'S MOVE ON TO FRANCE, UH, where
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Now, LET'S MOVE ON TO FRANCE, UH, where
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Now, LET'S MOVE ON TO FRANCE, UH, where
everyone, and I mean everyone, is
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everyone, and I mean everyone, is
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everyone, and I mean everyone, is
throwing back a rosé.
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throwing back a rosé.
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throwing back a rosé.
>> Police in rural France issued a warning
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>> Police in rural France issued a warning
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>> Police in rural France issued a warning
to drivers. Be on the lookout for drunk
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to drivers. Be on the lookout for drunk
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to drivers. Be on the lookout for drunk
deer. It happens when they eat fermented
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deer. It happens when they eat fermented
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deer. It happens when they eat fermented
fruits or as police call it a forest
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fruits or as police call it a forest
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fruits or as police call it a forest
paratif. Police posted a video alongside
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paratif. Police posted a video alongside
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paratif. Police posted a video alongside
their warning showing a deer moving in
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their warning showing a deer moving in
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their warning showing a deer moving in
unpredictable circles and warned that
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unpredictable circles and warned that
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unpredictable circles and warned that
the unpredictability can cause danger.
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the unpredictability can cause danger.
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the unpredictability can cause danger.
>> Okay, give Bambi a break. You would
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>> Okay, give Bambi a break. You would
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>> Okay, give Bambi a break. You would
drink too if your mom was murdered.
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Also, are you sorry about the the
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Also, are you sorry about the the
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Also, are you sorry about the the
cartoon deer? It was 80 years ago. Also,
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cartoon deer? It was 80 years ago. Also,
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cartoon deer? It was 80 years ago. Also,
are we sure that that deer is even
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are we sure that that deer is even
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are we sure that that deer is even
drunk? I mean, my first thought is
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drunk? I mean, my first thought is
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drunk? I mean, my first thought is
Molly. Happy Pride. But
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Molly. Happy Pride. But
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Molly. Happy Pride. But
this is why Americans carry guns. In
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this is why Americans carry guns. In
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this is why Americans carry guns. In
case a deer shows up to your house
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case a deer shows up to your house
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case a deer shows up to your house
drunk, asking to borrow money again.
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drunk, asking to borrow money again.
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drunk, asking to borrow money again.
So, sure, our animals are fully over the
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So, sure, our animals are fully over the
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So, sure, our animals are fully over the
legal limit for synthetic hormones. But
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legal limit for synthetic hormones. But
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legal limit for synthetic hormones. But
at least they can walk in a straight
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at least they can walk in a straight
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at least they can walk in a straight
line to the slaughter house.
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line to the slaughter house.
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line to the slaughter house.
Sorry, France, but drunk deer are so not
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Sorry, France, but drunk deer are so not
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Sorry, France, but drunk deer are so not
our problem.
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And don't think I forgot about you, Hong
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And don't think I forgot about you, Hong
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And don't think I forgot about you, Hong
Kong. Here in America, we might be
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Kong. Here in America, we might be
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Kong. Here in America, we might be
letting legalized gambling ruin our
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00:02:56,949 --> 00:02:56,959
letting legalized gambling ruin our
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letting legalized gambling ruin our
democracy, but at least we're not
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democracy, but at least we're not
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democracy, but at least we're not
gambling our life savings on furry toys.
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gambling our life savings on furry toys.
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gambling our life savings on furry toys.
>> Hong Kong's government is considering
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>> Hong Kong's government is considering
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>> Hong Kong's government is considering
clamping down on claw machine and
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clamping down on claw machine and
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clamping down on claw machine and
pinball operators due to the risk of
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pinball operators due to the risk of
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pinball operators due to the risk of
addiction.
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addiction.
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addiction.
>> I spend $130 on claw games every week. I
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>> I spend $130 on claw games every week. I
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>> I spend $130 on claw games every week. I
thought my shop would be empty during
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thought my shop would be empty during
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thought my shop would be empty during
the typhoon, but people still turned out
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the typhoon, but people still turned out
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the typhoon, but people still turned out
to play claw machines.
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>> Jesus Christ. You guys are playing with
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>> Jesus Christ. You guys are playing with
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>> Jesus Christ. You guys are playing with
claw machines during a typhoon.
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claw machines during a typhoon.
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claw machines during a typhoon.
God, imagine telling your children,
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God, imagine telling your children,
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God, imagine telling your children,
"Your dad died doing what he loved,
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"Your dad died doing what he loved,
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"Your dad died doing what he loved,
spending $800 trying to win a Pokemon."
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spending $800 trying to win a Pokemon."
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spending $800 trying to win a Pokemon."
Look, Hong Kongers, there there's so
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Look, Hong Kongers, there there's so
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Look, Hong Kongers, there there's so
many other things you could do with your
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many other things you could do with your
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many other things you could do with your
night. Go dancing, see a movie, get
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night. Go dancing, see a movie, get
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night. Go dancing, see a movie, get
drunk, and paint a ceramic plate.
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drunk, and paint a ceramic plate.
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drunk, and paint a ceramic plate.
Believe me, that is not addictive or
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Believe me, that is not addictive or
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Believe me, that is not addictive or
fun.
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fun.
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fun.
Also, you do know that you can just buy
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Also, you do know that you can just buy
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Also, you do know that you can just buy
everything that's in the machine, right?
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everything that's in the machine, right?
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everything that's in the machine, right?
When I go to Target to get a Tamagotchi,
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When I go to Target to get a Tamagotchi,
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When I go to Target to get a Tamagotchi,
I'm not reaching toward the shelves
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I'm not reaching toward the shelves
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I'm not reaching toward the shelves
being LIKE, "I HOPE I GET IT.
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being LIKE, "I HOPE I GET IT.
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being LIKE, "I HOPE I GET IT.
Oh my god, I can."
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What's even worse is that claw machines
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What's even worse is that claw machines
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What's even worse is that claw machines
are like the most boring game to get
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are like the most boring game to get
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are like the most boring game to get
addicted to. You just jiggle an arm and
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addicted to. You just jiggle an arm and
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addicted to. You just jiggle an arm and
press a button. God, it's like
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press a button. God, it's like
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press a button. God, it's like
pleasuring a beautiful woman. Happy
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pleasuring a beautiful woman. Happy
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pleasuring a beautiful woman. Happy
Pride. But
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Pride. But
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Pride. But
so yeah, America's gambling problem
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so yeah, America's gambling problem
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so yeah, America's gambling problem
might be ruining our society, but at
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might be ruining our society, but at
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might be ruining our society, but at
least we're losing all our money.
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least we're losing all our money.
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least we're losing all our money.
Betting the Knicks will win it in four.
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Betting the Knicks will win it in four.
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Betting the Knicks will win it in four.
Shut up. They still can.
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So sorry Hong Kong, but your claw
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So sorry Hong Kong, but your claw
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So sorry Hong Kong, but your claw
machine addiction is so not our problem.
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>> And finally, America gets a lot of heat
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>> And finally, America gets a lot of heat
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>> And finally, America gets a lot of heat
for its love of carbs. But hey, at least
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for its love of carbs. But hey, at least
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for its love of carbs. But hey, at least
our bread is made from normal
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our bread is made from normal
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00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,189
our bread is made from normal
ingredients like processed sugar and
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00:04:53,189 --> 00:04:53,199
ingredients like processed sugar and
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00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:55,430
ingredients like processed sugar and
sawdust.
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sawdust.
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sawdust.
But in Italy, not so much. Scientists
220
00:04:58,070 --> 00:04:58,080
But in Italy, not so much. Scientists
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00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,629
But in Italy, not so much. Scientists
have successfully baked sourdough using
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00:05:00,629 --> 00:05:00,639
have successfully baked sourdough using
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00:05:00,639 --> 00:05:03,510
have successfully baked sourdough using
yeast taken from Otsi the Iceman, a
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00:05:03,510 --> 00:05:03,520
yeast taken from Otsi the Iceman, a
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00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,189
yeast taken from Otsi the Iceman, a
5,300year-old
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00:05:05,189 --> 00:05:05,199
5,300year-old
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00:05:05,199 --> 00:05:07,670
5,300year-old
mummy discovered frozen in the Alps.
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00:05:07,670 --> 00:05:07,680
mummy discovered frozen in the Alps.
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00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,830
mummy discovered frozen in the Alps.
Researchers found yeast inside of the
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00:05:09,830 --> 00:05:09,840
Researchers found yeast inside of the
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Researchers found yeast inside of the
ancient mummy's remains. After months of
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00:05:12,150 --> 00:05:12,160
ancient mummy's remains. After months of
233
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,150
ancient mummy's remains. After months of
work, they managed to bring it back to
234
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:14,160
work, they managed to bring it back to
235
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,790
work, they managed to bring it back to
life. The result, an allegedly tasty
236
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:16,800
life. The result, an allegedly tasty
237
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,310
life. The result, an allegedly tasty
loaf of sourdough.
238
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:22,320
239
00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:23,909
What does it say about Italian
240
00:05:23,909 --> 00:05:23,919
What does it say about Italian
241
00:05:23,919 --> 00:05:25,430
What does it say about Italian
scientists that they find a dead body
242
00:05:25,430 --> 00:05:25,440
scientists that they find a dead body
243
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,270
scientists that they find a dead body
and immediately go, "How can we make a
244
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:27,280
and immediately go, "How can we make a
245
00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:32,230
and immediately go, "How can we make a
fkatcha?"
246
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:32,240
247
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,310
This is why I'm not an organ donor. I
248
00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:34,320
This is why I'm not an organ donor. I
249
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,909
This is why I'm not an organ donor. I
don't want a coroner looking at my dead
250
00:05:35,909 --> 00:05:35,919
don't want a coroner looking at my dead
251
00:05:35,919 --> 00:05:39,590
don't want a coroner looking at my dead
body and thinking, "Is it cake?"
252
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:39,600
body and thinking, "Is it cake?"
253
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:42,790
body and thinking, "Is it cake?"
No. Could it be?
254
00:05:42,790 --> 00:05:42,800
No. Could it be?
255
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:44,870
No. Could it be?
Look, I've done extensive research into
256
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:44,880
Look, I've done extensive research into
257
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,790
Look, I've done extensive research into
Egyptology, which means I have seen the
258
00:05:46,790 --> 00:05:46,800
Egyptology, which means I have seen the
259
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,670
Egyptology, which means I have seen the
mummy a bunch. And I don't think we
260
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:49,680
mummy a bunch. And I don't think we
261
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,909
mummy a bunch. And I don't think we
should be with mummies. We can only ask
262
00:05:51,909 --> 00:05:51,919
should be with mummies. We can only ask
263
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,909
should be with mummies. We can only ask
so much of Brendan Frasier. He just got
264
00:05:53,909 --> 00:05:53,919
so much of Brendan Frasier. He just got
265
00:05:53,919 --> 00:05:56,310
so much of Brendan Frasier. He just got
his career back.
266
00:05:56,310 --> 00:05:56,320
his career back.
267
00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,469
his career back.
So, you Italians have fun unleashing an
268
00:05:58,469 --> 00:05:58,479
So, you Italians have fun unleashing an
269
00:05:58,479 --> 00:06:00,629
So, you Italians have fun unleashing an
ancient evil upon the world, boiling our
270
00:06:00,629 --> 00:06:00,639
ancient evil upon the world, boiling our
271
00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:02,230
ancient evil upon the world, boiling our
oceans, destroying our harvests,
272
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:02,240
oceans, destroying our harvests,
273
00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,070
oceans, destroying our harvests,
releasing scarabs into the air, and
274
00:06:04,070 --> 00:06:04,080
releasing scarabs into the air, and
275
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:05,430
releasing scarabs into the air, and
putting an end to humanity as we know
276
00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:05,440
putting an end to humanity as we know
277
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,629
putting an end to humanity as we know
it. But that is actually that could be
278
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:08,639
it. But that is actually that could be
279
00:06:08,639 --> 00:06:11,880
it. But that is actually that could be
our problem.
24323
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