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1
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:38,869
Yo, G, that was hilarious.
2
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:45,034
Put a Barney Rubble head on,
l'd swear it was FIintstones On Ice.
3
00:00:45,945 --> 00:00:48,743
l'm pleased that l've amused you,
Master William.
4
00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:53,149
lt is the least l can do, given the hours
of merriment l have derived...
5
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:57,485
from looking at the remarkable way
your ears protrude from your head.
6
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,624
BWA: Butler With an Attitude.
7
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:06,759
So anyway, Toni's coming over.
8
00:01:06,833 --> 00:01:09,267
We're gonna study for
our history midterm together.
9
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:11,769
-She really needs help.
-She's not doing well?
10
00:01:11,838 --> 00:01:15,865
Daddy, Toni is a dear friend of mine,
but she lacks concentration.
11
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,410
She totally gave up on Twin Peaks.
12
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:24,782
Wow, Uncle Phil!
Did you lose a couple of pounds?
13
00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,181
Man, you're looking chiseled.
14
00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:31,216
So what do you want the car for, Will?
15
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,555
Public Enemy concert.
Jazz got two tickets.
16
00:01:33,626 --> 00:01:38,120
Every time Jazz is in that car he leaves
a small collection of chicken bones behind.
17
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:41,495
Don't worry. Tonight, we're having ribs.
18
00:01:42,335 --> 00:01:44,394
Daddy, l wanted to use the car tonight.
19
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:48,168
l'm going to a world peace benefit
hosted by Steven Seagal.
20
00:01:48,975 --> 00:01:51,000
Didn't you just hear me ask first?
21
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:54,513
l guess you're right. Besides, l'd feel better
knowing you had the car.
22
00:01:54,581 --> 00:01:57,379
Especially if you're
gonna be out again until 3:00 a.m.
23
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,542
3:00 a.m.?
24
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:02,349
That's what time he got in last night.
Oops, did l say that?
25
00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,356
3:00, on a school night?
26
00:02:05,425 --> 00:02:08,121
No, it was for school, Uncle Phil.
27
00:02:08,194 --> 00:02:11,595
l'm doing a term paper on owls.
28
00:02:15,101 --> 00:02:18,502
Will, you've broken curfew
entirely too many times.
29
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:21,267
-You are grounded for a week.
-A whole week?
30
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,138
Being grounded won't be all bad.
31
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:26,872
Maybe you'll find enough time to do
your own dishes instead of paying Ashley.
32
00:02:26,946 --> 00:02:28,311
Oops again!
33
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:30,575
Two weeks.
34
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,880
-l'm grounded for two weeks?
-That's right.
35
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:36,410
You're to stay in this house, and you're
not to go anywhere near that car.
36
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,423
Can he still rent the car to Jazz?
37
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,322
Oops!
38
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,322
Let's make it an even month.
39
00:02:47,066 --> 00:02:49,296
l don't know my own strength.
40
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,134
Revenge!
41
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:06,572
Miss Toni.
42
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:08,944
-Hi, Toni.
-Hi. Sorry l'm late.
43
00:04:09,015 --> 00:04:11,142
l saw a lady wearing a sweater so ugly...
44
00:04:11,217 --> 00:04:13,981
l was forced to pull over and yell at her.
45
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,886
Hi, Toni. What are you two up to?
46
00:04:17,957 --> 00:04:20,084
The library. Big history exam.
47
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:21,649
How did your English midterm go?
48
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:24,128
-l think l did great, Mom.
-l think l failed it.
49
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:26,563
Will you cut it out?
You always say you've failed...
50
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:29,932
and then you get the test back
and you always get a ''D.''
51
00:04:30,803 --> 00:04:33,271
You're right. l probably did fine.
52
00:04:34,841 --> 00:04:35,933
Okay.
53
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:39,342
You two have fun at the library.
54
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:40,504
Bye.
55
00:04:41,481 --> 00:04:44,279
A library?
l thought we were going shopping.
56
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:47,478
We are. l was just saying that to her.
Come on.
57
00:04:55,561 --> 00:04:59,019
What's this l hear, Hilary?
Lying to Mommy?
58
00:05:00,166 --> 00:05:02,691
l feel that revenge is within my reach.
59
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:05,761
This is a job for Sherlock Homeboy.
60
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,217
1000 hours. Bike not fast enough
to keep up with Volvo.
61
00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:28,988
Here at Toni's dorm room to determine
where suspects went shopping.
62
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,765
Let's see what happens.
63
00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:39,167
Hi, is this Toni Gower's room?
64
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,069
-We're her roommates.
-l'm Kimmy.
65
00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,334
-l'm Cindy.
-l'm Will.
66
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,376
-Hi, Willie.
-Hi, Willie.
67
00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,275
No, just ''Will.''
68
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,611
Can l get you something, Will?
69
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:54,151
No, thank you.
l'm trying to find Hilary Banks.
70
00:05:54,220 --> 00:05:56,211
There's been a family emergency.
71
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:57,984
Sorry, we don't know her.
72
00:05:58,057 --> 00:06:00,924
Yes, we do. You know, Toni's friend.
73
00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:04,292
-The one who never wears anything twice.
-Yeah.
74
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,922
Earth to Kimmy.
75
00:06:06,666 --> 00:06:10,568
l just haven't seen her around
since she dropped out of school.
76
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:18,940
Yeah, the midterms must have been
a little too much for her.
77
00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:22,037
Midterms? Hilary dropped out
three months ago.
78
00:06:22,949 --> 00:06:26,316
This family emergency,
is it, like, a big one?
79
00:06:27,086 --> 00:06:29,452
lt's even bigger than l thought.
80
00:06:30,857 --> 00:06:33,348
Looks like l am gonna be
pulling another all-nighter.
81
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:36,884
l have to get my index cards together
for the big debate match next week.
82
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:38,089
What's your topic?
83
00:06:38,164 --> 00:06:40,724
''When President Bush said
he would never raise taxes...
84
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,166
''was he lying or just kidding?''
85
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:50,234
Sorry l'm late.
Time flies when you're studying.
86
00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:52,436
Ain't that the truth, Ruth.
87
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:55,610
How was your day, honey?
88
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:59,879
lt was great. l got a lot of work done
on my physics research paper.
89
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,148
What?
90
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:07,320
l was just thinking about that funny thing
that happened to you today.
91
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:09,122
What are you talking about?
92
00:07:09,195 --> 00:07:11,720
How soon they forget. l'll explain.
93
00:07:12,031 --> 00:07:14,932
Today after school was out,
l went to UCLA...
94
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,993
and sat in the back
of Hilary's physics class.
95
00:07:18,070 --> 00:07:19,332
You did?
96
00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:24,871
You remember.
After all, you were in the class.
97
00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:27,771
That's right. You did.
98
00:07:29,715 --> 00:07:32,343
You remember that funny thing
that happened.
99
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,318
Yeah, that funny thing.
100
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,226
Tell them about it.
101
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,627
Will sat in the back of my physics class.
102
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,726
While he was there....
103
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,938
Will, you tell it so much better.
104
00:07:55,274 --> 00:07:57,606
See, l snuck up behind Hilary, right?
105
00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:01,135
Her head must have been full
with all that studying or something...
106
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,374
because when she saw me...
107
00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:06,009
she said my head looked
like the basic element of physics.
108
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,645
What was that technical term again?
109
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,786
A quark, right?
110
00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:13,883
Right. Exactly.
l said his head looked like a quark.
111
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,087
-Or was it a neutron?
-Right.
112
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,096
No, it was definitely a quark.
113
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:21,656
Of course. l don't know
what l must have been thinking.
114
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:28,969
That was a real scream, Will.
115
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:31,904
Dinner is served.
116
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:38,977
What do you know?
117
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:45,447
First of all, l know that
the basic element of physics is matter.
118
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,516
lf you were going to do a research paper...
119
00:08:47,593 --> 00:08:51,757
you'd probably have to know something
they taught on the first day.
120
00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:55,596
-How did you find out?
-l have my methods.
121
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:59,627
lt helps that Toni's roommates
have the combined lQ of a raisin.
122
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:03,132
Listen to me, Will.
You can't tell Mom and Dad.
123
00:09:03,409 --> 00:09:04,569
Excuse me?
124
00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:09,172
You're not in any position to tell me
what l can or cannot do, Miss Thing.
125
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:16,315
l'll do anything you want. Just name it.
126
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,117
Thanks to you,
l'm grounded for the next month.
127
00:09:20,192 --> 00:09:24,390
All l want from you is that you make
that month as pleasant as possible.
128
00:09:24,463 --> 00:09:25,691
lt's that simple.
129
00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:30,202
At the risk of sounding redundant,
dinner is served.
130
00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:33,501
We'll be right there, Geoffrey.
131
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,100
-Hilary?
-What?
132
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:40,640
Carry me.
133
00:09:52,158 --> 00:09:53,250
Yes?
134
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,725
''Yes,'' what?
135
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,524
Yes, Your Highness?
136
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,791
-Have you done His Highness' laundry?
-Yes.
137
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:03,931
Yes, Your Highness.
138
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:09,766
You forgot His Highness' overalls,
his T-shirt, and...
139
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,506
of course, his pair of lucky drawers.
140
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:21,314
You're going to want to hand wash these.
141
00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:26,490
-l am not hand washing your drawers.
-Yes, you are.
142
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,995
And from now on,
you will pronounce the word ''draws.''
143
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,464
Okay, fine.
144
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:41,865
And His Highness would like to discuss
the condition of his royal sneakers.
145
00:10:42,808 --> 00:10:45,641
You will clean them with your toothbrush.
146
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:48,403
Not side to side, though. Not up and down.
147
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,608
But a smooth circular motion.
148
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,919
Do you want me to floss them, too?
149
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,916
We are not amused.
150
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,683
And for this act of treason...
151
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:03,320
His Highness would like you
to read him a bedtime story.
152
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,389
This is getting really annoying, Will.
153
00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:09,730
Okey dokey, have it your way.
Uncle Phil! Aunt Viv!
154
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:11,463
Okay, l'll do it!
155
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:15,230
His Highness would like you to read
this Spider-Man comic book.
156
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,673
All right. Let's make this fast.
157
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,538
''Spider-Man. By Stan Lee.''
158
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,139
The yellow box says:
''High above Manhattan.''
159
00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:25,706
And Spider-Man goes, ''My spider-sense
is buzzing like a beehive.''
160
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:29,585
His Highness would like you to describe
everything in the picture.
161
00:11:29,655 --> 00:11:31,714
-Can't you just look at it?
-Uncle Phil!
162
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,452
l was just asking.
163
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,222
He's sitting on the edge
of some stupid building...
164
00:11:36,295 --> 00:11:39,594
and there are wavy lines
coming out of his head...
165
00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,657
so he's hot,
or his head smells or something.
166
00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:44,564
Anyway--
167
00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:47,470
Hilary. That's his spidey-sense.
168
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,065
Okay.
169
00:11:49,141 --> 00:11:52,577
There's also something gross
coming out of his wrist.
170
00:11:52,645 --> 00:11:57,014
ls this the guy you don't want to be
standing next to at a party, or what?
171
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,781
Anyway, this fat guy in a really bad suit
grabs him and goes:
172
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:03,515
''Spider-Man, at last we meet again.''
173
00:12:03,589 --> 00:12:08,185
That's Doctor Octopus, but his voice
is a lot deeper than that. Give it a try.
174
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,986
''At last, we meet again.''
175
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,724
And it's raspier.
176
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,324
''At last, we meet again.''
177
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,666
Come on, baby. You doggin' it.
178
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,897
''At last, we meet again! ''
179
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:23,635
Happy?
180
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:28,773
You have amused us, but His Highness
is tired and would like to go to sleep.
181
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:30,179
Thank God.
182
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:33,548
But first, His Highness
would like to be tucked in.
183
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:37,347
-You're kidding.
-Of course, l'm kidding. Uncle Phil!
184
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,615
Nice and tight!
185
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:44,221
Not too tight.
l wouldn't want you to suffocate.
186
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:49,099
Before you go,
we would like you to have this.
187
00:12:49,168 --> 00:12:51,864
A list of things to do tomorrow night
at the dinner table.
188
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,302
Like what?
189
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:56,307
Please, we do not wish them
read in our presence.
190
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:57,672
Be gone!
191
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:06,680
Carlton, l'm living a nightmare.
192
00:13:06,752 --> 00:13:08,617
Hilary, l'd love to talk to you...
193
00:13:08,687 --> 00:13:11,451
but l'm staring down the barrel
of an all-nighter.
194
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,424
Please, Carlton, l need help!
195
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:16,586
l'm coming to you because
l know how much you don't like Will.
196
00:13:16,662 --> 00:13:18,994
Will Smith is a fine young man.
197
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,768
Come off it, Carlton.
You're talking to me now.
198
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:25,359
We've let Will wreak havoc
in our lives for too long.
199
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:28,600
And now it's time to band against him
as brother and sister.
200
00:13:28,674 --> 00:13:30,198
What have you got in mind?
201
00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:31,743
That's what l need you for.
202
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,178
l don't have any plans,
l just want to punish him.
203
00:13:35,247 --> 00:13:38,239
l'm very vindictive,
l'm just not imaginative.
204
00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:41,211
Whether or not l want to punish Will...
205
00:13:41,287 --> 00:13:44,415
and for the record,
l haven't come out pro or con...
206
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,583
why are you so mad at him?
207
00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:50,323
lt's a long story, but you have to promise
not to tell anybody.
208
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,522
Sure.
209
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,394
First of all, l dropped out of college.
210
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,302
-l know!
-Mom and Dad are gonna kill you.
211
00:13:57,369 --> 00:13:59,428
l know, but the worst thing
is Will found out.
212
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:02,633
Now he's using it to make me do
all kinds of humiliating things.
213
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:04,073
Like what?
214
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:06,675
He's making me clean his sneakers.
215
00:14:06,745 --> 00:14:09,009
-Really?
-lt gets worse.
216
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,510
l have to hand wash his lucky ''draws.''
217
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,650
-Disgusting.
-And this is his latest:
218
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:22,158
He gave me a list of embarrassing things
l have to do at dinner tomorrow night.
219
00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:23,661
That's awful.
220
00:14:23,729 --> 00:14:26,289
-ls he making you clean his room?
-No.
221
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,162
Will you clean mine?
222
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,145
l'm sorry, but this is too good to be true.
223
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,682
Why should Will have all the fun?
224
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:46,611
-Why, you little--
-Dad?
225
00:14:46,685 --> 00:14:48,050
l hate you!
226
00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:51,783
Be that as it may...
227
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:55,190
l want these debate cards
typed by tomorrow morning.
228
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:56,785
Double-spaced.
229
00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:06,463
Today was Career Day
and Teresa's dad came in to speak to us.
230
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,165
Really? What does he do?
231
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,639
Joan Rivers.
232
00:15:12,111 --> 00:15:14,045
He's a plastic surgeon.
233
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,276
Dinner is served.
234
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:27,247
What?
235
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:30,921
Did you memorize that list of things
l gave you to do at dinner tonight?
236
00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,156
Yes.
237
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:35,291
Just to be on the safe side,
let's have a little pop quiz.
238
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:38,859
Number one: Any time Uncle Phil
takes a drink, what do you do?
239
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,803
-l compliment you.
-Yes!
240
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:43,898
Did you memorize
the list of compliments?
241
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,841
-Yes.
-Okay, very good.
242
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:50,243
Number two: Any time anyone
says ''Hilary,'' what do you do?
243
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,611
l bark like a dog.
244
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:56,548
That's right! See you at dinner.
245
00:15:57,423 --> 00:16:01,826
Will, if you have an ounce of compassion,
you'll let me off the hook.
246
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,954
Yeah, that's a good point.
247
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,889
No, we'll do it anyway.
248
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:15,839
lt's dinner time.
Did you memorize our list?
249
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,570
-Yes.
-Let's just review.
250
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,636
What do you do
when l hit my glass with my spoon?
251
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,147
l insult Will.
252
00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,309
Good. And what do you do
when l clear my throat?
253
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,580
l smack Will upside the head.
254
00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:31,813
Damn it, you're prepared! Let's go!
255
00:16:33,359 --> 00:16:35,384
For these gifts we are about to receive...
256
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:37,793
may the Lord make us
truly thankful. Amen.
257
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:38,852
Amen.
258
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:40,523
Vivian, how were your classes today?
259
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:43,864
Fine. l just wish my students
would concentrate more on their work.
260
00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:45,733
They're very easily distracted.
261
00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:49,604
l see it every day. Don't you, Hilary?
262
00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:00,743
-Did you say something, sweetie?
-No.
263
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,819
Will Smith is perfect.
264
00:17:04,590 --> 00:17:07,650
Why, thank you.
lt's so nice to be appreciated.
265
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:09,990
Yes, but perhaps another time.
266
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,722
Your mother would appreciate
it if she weren't interrupted again.
267
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:15,960
Sorry.
268
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,060
Anyway, as l was saying--
269
00:17:18,137 --> 00:17:20,867
Will Smith is the king of the universe.
270
00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,633
Why, thank you.
271
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,843
l'd like to finish my story,
if that's okay with you, Hilary.
272
00:17:35,521 --> 00:17:36,715
Hilary?
273
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:45,158
Look, l know everyone gets a little silly
around midterms...
274
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,491
but not at the dinner table.
275
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:49,124
l'm sorry, Mom.
276
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:52,095
Will Smith is the scum of the earth.
277
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:53,763
Hilary!
278
00:17:58,277 --> 00:18:01,474
However, Will Smith
is the pinnacle of manliness.
279
00:18:11,523 --> 00:18:12,512
Hilary!
280
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:19,226
What's with Hilary?
281
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:27,935
Stop it! l can't take it anymore!
282
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:30,338
l dropped out of school! There!
283
00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:32,866
You did what?
284
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,744
-l dropped out of school.
-You dropped out of school?
285
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:39,079
-When did this happen?
-Three months ago.
286
00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:42,143
-Three months ago?
-And you've been lying to us since then?
287
00:18:42,221 --> 00:18:44,815
-Three months ago?
-Let me explain.
288
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:48,348
-Three months ago?
-Mother, please just let me explain.
289
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:50,759
l'm not interested. You've been lying to us.
290
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:53,992
-And if you think for one minute--
-Philip, wait.
291
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:57,661
Will, Carlton, Ashley,
take your dinner into the kitchen.
292
00:18:59,104 --> 00:19:00,867
Thanks a lot, Will.
293
00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:06,705
Man, they've been in there for an hour.
294
00:19:06,778 --> 00:19:10,179
l wonder what Hilary told Mom and Dad
about our part in all this.
295
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:13,878
l think it's pretty safe to assume
she sang like a canary.
296
00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:17,444
There's no need to worry.
She's been lying to them for three months.
297
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,185
We can punch holes in her credibility.
298
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,152
Mom, Dad, awfully sad about
what happened to Hilary.
299
00:19:24,229 --> 00:19:27,323
Hope her crazy lies
don't drag down anyone else.
300
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,001
Carlton, sit.
301
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,738
Maybe we haven't been clear enough
about the rules of this house.
302
00:19:39,811 --> 00:19:42,609
You are not to blackmail
other members of this family.
303
00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:45,013
Okay, l'm sorry. l didn't know.
304
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:52,852
You two are grounded for a month.
305
00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,223
Will, added to the month
you already have...
306
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:58,457
that should pretty much take you
into fiscal '91 .
307
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,090
-Dad!
-You are excused.
308
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:10,040
l don't know, Philip. l've been thinking.
309
00:20:10,108 --> 00:20:13,305
-About what?
-You know, what Hilary said to us.
310
00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:15,778
That l put too much pressure on her.
311
00:20:15,847 --> 00:20:18,907
That it's hard living up
to a mother who's a college professor.
312
00:20:18,984 --> 00:20:22,818
That l made her feel that she could
never come to us and admit she failed.
313
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:25,118
You mean you bought that crap?
314
00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:31,127
Mom, Dad, can l say something?
315
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:33,224
Yes.
316
00:20:33,432 --> 00:20:34,729
l've been thinking.
317
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,668
And l decided that l'll do whatever
you want me to do to make things better.
318
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,001
And exactly what would that be?
319
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,837
l don't know.
Whatever you want me to do.
320
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,735
Hilary, that's the problem.
321
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,043
We've been making
all the decisions for you.
322
00:20:52,117 --> 00:20:55,280
You're 21 years old. lt's time for you
to make your own decisions.
323
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,790
lf you weren't getting anything
out of college and wanted to drop out...
324
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:01,587
you should have told us
and not tried to hide it like a kid.
325
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,651
But l thought you wanted me
to go to college.
326
00:21:03,729 --> 00:21:06,254
We want you to go to college
when you'll appreciate it.
327
00:21:06,331 --> 00:21:09,528
lt's not to make us happy.
lt's to make something of your life.
328
00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:11,728
We just want you to be all you can be.
329
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,033
You want me to join the Army?
330
00:21:17,709 --> 00:21:19,540
Let's try this again.
331
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:24,005
Hilary, what do you want
to do with your life?
332
00:21:26,184 --> 00:21:29,449
l don't know.
l guess l'll have to think about it.
333
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:34,085
While you're thinking about it,
you're going to get yourself a job.
334
00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:36,285
Okay.
335
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,062
Good night.
336
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,160
Mom, Dad?
337
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,997
What kind of job do you want me to get?
338
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,782
l'm not talking to you.
339
00:21:59,951 --> 00:22:03,648
Look, straight up. l didn't know
you'd break down like that.
340
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,418
You walk around here
like nothing bothers you.
341
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:10,825
And l guess l took it a little too far,
and l just wanna say l'm sorry.
342
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:14,195
Yeah, now. An hour ago
you were ready to tell on me.
343
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:17,167
You tripping!
l was never going to tell on you.
344
00:22:17,235 --> 00:22:19,726
-Really?
-Come on, of course not.
345
00:22:20,005 --> 00:22:21,529
How about you, Carlton?
346
00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,166
We're dealing in hypotheticals here.
347
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:27,036
Fine. l wasn't going to tell.
348
00:22:27,112 --> 00:22:30,479
Does that little placebo
make either of you feel any better?
349
00:22:32,818 --> 00:22:36,151
So, l guess you're gonna
hate me forever, right?
350
00:22:37,255 --> 00:22:41,282
l thought about it. l guess
l brought this whole thing on myself.
351
00:22:41,893 --> 00:22:45,090
lf l hadn't gotten you grounded,
you wouldn't have blackmailed me.
352
00:22:45,163 --> 00:22:48,030
So, l've learned my lesson.
And we're even.
353
00:22:49,234 --> 00:22:51,361
That's decent, Hilary.
354
00:22:51,636 --> 00:22:53,035
Good night.
355
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:55,038
Before you go...
356
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:59,066
as my last official act of servitude,
l did finish your laundry.
357
00:23:00,312 --> 00:23:02,906
l can't believe
l made you do that. l'm sorry.
358
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:05,643
lt's okay. What's done is done.
359
00:23:11,189 --> 00:23:12,850
My lucky ''draws''!
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