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1
00:00:02,959 --> 00:00:04,743
♪
2
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:12,142
I'’m sorry I fought you
on us just being friends.
3
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:14,057
I didn'’t realize how friendly
you were gonna be.
4
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:19,106
Yeah, well, parts of me
are friendlier than others.
5
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:24,328
Am I messing things up
if I say I wish once in a while
6
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,287
we could spend
the night together,
7
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:29,159
wake up in the morning,
have a cup of coffee, cuddle?
8
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,379
All right, off you go.
9
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,163
Seriously?!
10
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:35,165
When you use words like "cuddle"
11
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:36,993
I feel like
you don'’t really get me.
12
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:39,343
Never mind. All right.
13
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,389
Oh, before I leave,
14
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:43,391
you got a little something
going on with your tushie.
15
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,134
Are you trying for round two?
16
00:00:47,221 --> 00:00:49,049
'’Cause "tushie" is right up
there with "cuddle".
17
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,791
No, I noticed, uh, that
the mole on your right cheek
18
00:00:52,878 --> 00:00:54,358
is, uh, a little bigger than
19
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,578
last time I was, you know,
in the neighborhood.
20
00:00:56,665 --> 00:01:00,408
First of all, it'’s not a mole,
it'’s a beauty mark.
21
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:03,411
And secondly....
22
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:05,239
if you'’ve got time to look
around back there,
23
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:07,197
you'’re not trying hard enough.
24
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:08,851
Oh, come on, I'’m just concerned.
25
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,896
It used to be the shape of Ohio
26
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:13,856
and now it'’s more like...
Australia.
27
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,598
Nobody asked you
to play Dora the Explorer.
28
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,034
I'’m sure it'’s fine.
29
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,818
I'’m sure it is, too,
but just to be safe
30
00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:20,906
have a doctor take a look.
31
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,299
Yeah, okay, whatever.
32
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:23,909
By the way,
33
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,824
if we'’re gonna start
noticing imperfections
34
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,478
in each other'’s bodies,
35
00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,872
you might want to pull
those balls up a couple inches.
36
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:36,531
You got to be kidding me.
37
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:43,103
Mommy, I'’m home from school.
38
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:46,584
I'’m just gonna hang out
in the living room
39
00:01:46,671 --> 00:01:50,066
till the grown-ups
stop wrestling.
40
00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:52,242
Of course I drank.
41
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,505
Hey, Christy.
Hey, Steve.
42
00:01:54,592 --> 00:01:56,594
I'’m just gonna sheepishly
skulk out of here now.
43
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,379
That'’d be awesome, thanks.
44
00:01:58,466 --> 00:01:59,902
Uh, before I forget.
45
00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:05,037
Take a look at your mom'’s butt
46
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,604
Excuse me?
47
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,476
She'’s got a mole
that doesn'’t look right.
48
00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:09,477
BONNIE:
Steve, are you still here?
49
00:02:09,564 --> 00:02:11,740
Got to go. Right cheek.
50
00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,089
[sighs]
51
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:14,743
Of course I was a stripper.
52
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,050
♪
53
00:02:33,892 --> 00:02:35,851
♪
54
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:38,288
Seeing a lot of Steve
these days, huh?
55
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:40,029
Well, I can'’t afford
a gym membership.
56
00:02:40,116 --> 00:02:41,944
I got to get
my cardio in somehow.
57
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,120
Come on, you like him.I do.
58
00:02:44,207 --> 00:02:46,905
He'’s like a rowing machine
with a heart of gold.
59
00:02:46,992 --> 00:02:48,864
Great, I'’m really happy for you.
Show me your ass.
60
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:50,431
What?
61
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,520
Steve said something
about a mole. Let'’s see.
62
00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,304
No.Hey, this is not the high point
63
00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:55,871
of my day either.
Hike up your robe.
64
00:02:55,958 --> 00:02:58,047
Forget it, it'’s nothing.
65
00:02:58,134 --> 00:02:59,918
Come on, pretend
you'’re on the Jumbotron
66
00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:01,746
at a Raiders game and moon me.
67
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,749
Sorry, you got to buy me dinner
to see the goods.
68
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,142
Hey, in the future,
can you let me know
69
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,883
if you'’re gonna be home early?
70
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:09,798
I got a better idea--
why don'’t you shoot me a text
71
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:12,279
when you'’ve got your feet
behind your ears.
72
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:14,585
Yeah, that probably
makes more sense.
73
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:15,586
[shower starts running]
74
00:03:15,673 --> 00:03:17,022
Hey, uh, by the way,
75
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,199
we'’re almost out
of your fancy conditioner.
76
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,202
Smile.
Hey!
77
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,420
Oh, relax. I'’m sure it'’s...
78
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:25,379
Oh!
79
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:29,948
Wendy, you'’re a nurse,
80
00:03:30,035 --> 00:03:31,559
does that mole
look right to you?
81
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,257
Oh, come on,
I got raisins in my salad here.
82
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:36,216
Just look, I'’m worried.
83
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,089
I don'’t know, could be
something, could be nothing.
84
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,482
That'’s your
professional opinion?
85
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:42,961
You went to nursing school
for that?
86
00:03:43,048 --> 00:03:44,659
I went to nursing school
87
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,661
'’cause I thought
I'’d have access to drugs.
88
00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:48,967
Let me see.
89
00:03:49,054 --> 00:03:51,405
Ew! If that were
on Cindy Crawford'’s face,
90
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:53,755
she'’d have
a very different career.
91
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,105
Give me.
92
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:58,238
That'’s not good.
93
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,109
She should definitely
go to a doctor.
94
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:01,371
See? That'’s the problem--
95
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,112
no matter what I say,
she won'’t go.
96
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,635
Well, she'’s scared.
97
00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,681
I know when I found a lump
in my breast
98
00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,510
I was panic-stricken
what a doctor might say.
99
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:11,773
So you think it'’s cancer?
100
00:04:11,860 --> 00:04:13,557
Isn'’t that
what we'’re all thinking?
101
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:14,819
What were you thinking?
102
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,430
I don'’t know, knowing her,
103
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,867
it could be
the mark of the devil.
104
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,477
Sorry I'’m late. What did I miss?
105
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:21,652
Nothin'’.
Chattin'’.
Hangin'’.
106
00:04:21,739 --> 00:04:22,697
Lookin'’ at your mole.
107
00:04:25,569 --> 00:04:27,223
Did you not see
what we were doing here?
108
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:30,008
You showed them?
109
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:31,793
I'’m worried about you.
110
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,882
Since when?You'’re my mother.
111
00:04:33,969 --> 00:04:36,232
I say I'’d be better off without
you, but I don'’t really mean it.
112
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:37,842
You say that?
Does she say that?
113
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:40,149
Of course not.
No.
All the time.
114
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,587
For God'’s sake,
read the room, Wendy.
115
00:04:45,023 --> 00:04:47,678
Anyway, you really should
go see a doctor.
116
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,158
Yeah, well,
I'’m not a doctor person.
117
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:50,681
I'’m more comfortable
just toughing it out.
118
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:51,943
You see this finger?
119
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,510
I cut the tip off when I was 14.
120
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:55,643
Stuck it back on
with crazy glue.
121
00:04:55,730 --> 00:04:57,209
That would be your brand.
122
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,952
You went to a doctor
for your back last year.
123
00:05:01,039 --> 00:05:02,606
Well, only '’cause she made me.
124
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:04,347
And look what happened,
I got strung out on pain pills.
125
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:05,870
Who knows? I go in for a mole,
126
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,046
next thing you know
I'’m smoking crack.
127
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,353
What was your excuse for
the first time you smoked crack?
128
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,399
I like crack.
129
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:17,317
Now, let'’s just change the
subject. Talk about the weather.
130
00:05:19,797 --> 00:05:22,322
Does your giant mole hurt
before it rains?
131
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:25,934
♪
132
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,953
Well, there'’s something
you don'’t see every day.Oh!
133
00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,393
I'’m rubbing
a pomegranate on my mole.
134
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:53,440
You'’re feeding it now?
135
00:05:53,527 --> 00:05:55,616
I did a little research
on the Internet
136
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,574
and learned that if you apply
pomegranate juice,
137
00:05:57,661 --> 00:06:00,882
garlic paste, walnut oil,
138
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,927
it'’ll be gone in a few hours.
139
00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,799
Good call.
140
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,976
Go Harry Potter on your ass.
141
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,412
It'’ll work.
142
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:11,371
Mom, it'’s natural to be scared
143
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,721
to go see a doctor,
anyone would be.
144
00:06:13,808 --> 00:06:15,505
Except me.
I have science on my side.
145
00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,466
Now come on-- tape this kale
leaf to my butt.
146
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:20,945
Shiny side down, or this is just
147
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:22,643
a complete waste of time.
148
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,341
Just like this conversation.
149
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:30,868
Hey, on the off chance
that Wiccan-pedia
150
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,304
doesn'’t do the trick,
151
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,958
will you please see a doctor?
152
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,787
For the last time,
I don'’t need a doctor.
153
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,310
Now come on,
154
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,225
help me summon the serpent.
155
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,403
That'’s it,
I'’m making an appointment.
156
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:44,621
No.
Why?
157
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,101
Because...
158
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:47,929
[sighs]
159
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,061
I'’ve been a terrible person
my whole life
160
00:06:50,148 --> 00:06:52,890
and this is how the universe
is gonna get even with me.
161
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:54,283
So you are scared.
162
00:06:54,370 --> 00:06:55,632
Of course I am.
Have you seen this thing?
163
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:58,287
It'’s big enough
to claim as a dependant.
164
00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:00,289
Then let'’s get it taken care of
165
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:02,291
and put the whole thing
behind us.
166
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,554
Sorry.
167
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,470
You can'’t do that, that'’s not
how the universe works.
168
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:09,690
Wait a minute--
you know how the universe works,
169
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,953
and you'’ve been
holding out on me?
170
00:07:13,302 --> 00:07:14,695
The universe waits,
171
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,348
and then as soon as you
get your life together,
172
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,829
boom-- something awful happens.
173
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:20,483
Oh, you poor thing.
174
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:21,702
You think you
have your life together.
175
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:26,141
Tell you what,
I'’ll make you a deal.
176
00:07:26,228 --> 00:07:28,665
We'’ll give
your witch'’s salad dressing
177
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,493
24 hours to work.
178
00:07:30,580 --> 00:07:32,408
If it doesn'’t, we see a doctor.
179
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,193
Fine.
180
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,805
Thank you. Now you'’re
starting to make sense.
181
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:44,333
Oh, great. Now my ass
smells like the Olive Garden.
182
00:07:46,117 --> 00:07:48,032
♪
183
00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:51,209
Do we need cotton balls?
184
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,733
What?
185
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:55,344
Never mind.
I'’m just gonna take '’em.
186
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,215
Nice karma move,
187
00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,304
stealing from the free clinic.
188
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:00,915
Says the woman who swiped
three Us Weeklies
189
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,221
from the waiting room.
190
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:05,180
It'’s the only crossword
I can do.
191
00:08:07,530 --> 00:08:09,401
Okay, Ms. Plunkett,
192
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,883
I see you have an unwelcome
guest on your posterior.
193
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,364
Please drop your pants
and bend over.
194
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,192
Oh, okay.
195
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:20,195
Not the first time a man
has said that to you, huh, Mom?
196
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,892
[laughs]
197
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,111
Oh, that'’s very good.
198
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:25,243
Clever. Huh.
199
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,811
Okay, let'’s see
what we have here, hm?
200
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:35,079
Oh, jeepers.
201
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,907
Jeepers, good?
202
00:08:36,994 --> 00:08:39,388
When is jeepers ever good?
203
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,912
Oh, God, I knew it.
204
00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:44,436
Calm down. Doctor?
205
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,873
Yes?
206
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,440
[mouths]
207
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,529
What?
208
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:52,140
[mouths]
209
00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:54,534
What?She wants to know
if it'’s cancer.
210
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:55,709
Oh.
211
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,842
That'’s for the lab
to say.
212
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,149
So what happens next?
213
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,064
We scoop it off,
send it for a biopsy
214
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,456
and see what'’s what.
215
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,633
How long does that take?About a week.
216
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,287
I have to wait a week to find
out if I have skin cancer?
217
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:12,421
It'’s a free clinic,
not a fast clinic.
218
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:14,205
Just try not to think about it.
219
00:09:14,292 --> 00:09:16,294
[sighs]
220
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,906
This is not an excuse
to smoke crack.
221
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,431
♪
222
00:09:28,829 --> 00:09:30,700
[banging]
223
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:35,662
[clattering]
224
00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,925
She'’s still thinkin'’ about it.
225
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:48,936
Hey.
226
00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,285
Hey.
227
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,982
Whatcha doin'’?
228
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:54,289
What'’s it look like?
I'’m cleaning the fridge.
229
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,682
At 3:00 in the morning?
230
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:58,032
I can'’t drink, I can'’t do drugs.
231
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,251
Let me organize
our milk and cold cuts.
232
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,341
You want to take a break
233
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:04,865
and maybe talk
about what you'’re feeling?
234
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,693
Really?
You want to know how I feel?
235
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,869
Death, death, death, death,
death, death, death.
236
00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,827
Happy?
237
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,047
Mom, you'’re kind of jumping
the gun.
238
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,223
We won'’t get the results
of the biopsy for six more days.
239
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,180
Don'’t you think you should...
240
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:18,705
Death!
241
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,358
Okay.
242
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,012
Nighty-night.
243
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,580
[sweetly]
Sweet dreams!
244
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:30,847
Oh.
245
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,283
Nice.
246
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:35,678
No one cleans
like a crazy person.
247
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:37,288
Hello? Mom?
248
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:40,161
Upstairs!
249
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,773
Hope she organized the closet.
250
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:50,867
You okay?
251
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,913
[sighs]
Just tired.
252
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,611
I guess that'’s to be expected,
given my condition.
253
00:10:58,832 --> 00:11:02,531
Or you'’re tired
because you stayed up all night.
254
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,880
[quietly]:
Damn.
255
00:11:03,967 --> 00:11:05,882
Christy,
256
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,754
come. Sit.
257
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,407
[sighs]
258
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,192
Why do I come home?
259
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:15,718
I love you.What?
260
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:17,589
I said I love you.
261
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,591
We don'’t say it enough.
262
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:21,419
We don'’t say it ever.
263
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:24,379
One of us doesn'’t even think it.
264
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:26,511
Come on. Get out of bed.
265
00:11:26,598 --> 00:11:28,731
Let'’s go grab a bite to eat, and
then we'’ll go to the meeting.
266
00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:29,950
No, no. You go.
267
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:33,257
Tell everyone to pray for me.
268
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:36,391
Okay. But don'’t expect much.
269
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,785
You know, I put
270
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:41,962
my life at risk
for so many years.
271
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:44,007
Drugs, alcohol,
272
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,923
climbing into zoo enclosures
and taunting the animals.
273
00:11:47,010 --> 00:11:50,274
I-I never gave it
a second thought.
274
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:53,974
And now every moment
feels so precious.
275
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,150
And yet here you are
wasting my time.
276
00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:57,586
That'’s good.
277
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,240
Laugh at me. Laugh at life.
278
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:01,242
The whole thing'’s a joke.
279
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:03,113
All righty. I'’m gonna skedaddle.
280
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,246
Christy.Yeah. Quickly.
281
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,423
Smell every rose.
282
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:12,949
Sing every song.
283
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:15,778
Dance like no one'’s watching.
284
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,345
Will do.
285
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:18,694
Oh, and if you
wouldn'’t mind,
286
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:19,739
bring me home
a bucket of chicken.
287
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,176
Extra crispy.
288
00:12:22,263 --> 00:12:23,351
[clicks tongue]
289
00:12:27,877 --> 00:12:30,575
Hi, I'’m Christy,
and I'’m an alcoholic.
290
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:32,273
GROUP:
Hi, Christy.
291
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,755
Well, this week has been
a doozy.
292
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:39,062
My mom'’s in the middle
of a little health scare,
293
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,891
and I am trying
to be compassionate.
294
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,460
But you know her, she just sucks
it right out of you.
295
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:49,203
On the plus side,
296
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:53,250
our house hasn'’t been this clean
since she was doing blow.
297
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:59,779
Anyway, she asked
for you to pray for her.
298
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:01,781
Do with that what you will.
299
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,306
Okay, who else
would like to share?
300
00:13:05,393 --> 00:13:06,786
I'’ll go.
301
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,831
Hi, I'’m Jill.
I'’m an alcoholic.
302
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:10,180
GROUP:
Hi, Jill.
303
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,616
[sighs]
I'’ve been dealing
304
00:13:11,703 --> 00:13:13,793
with a little health issue
myself.
305
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,969
My pool guy hurt his back,
306
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,058
so the pool looks
like a Louisiana swamp.
307
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:19,886
[door opens]
308
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,932
Sorry.
309
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:39,775
Anyway...
310
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,690
if I'’m a little snippy,
311
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:43,866
it'’s because I haven'’t
been getting my laps in
312
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:47,043
and ballooned up to a size zero.
313
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,872
[sighs]
That'’s it. Thanks.
314
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:51,743
Anybody else?
315
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:54,572
Hi, I'’m Bonnie.
I'’m an alcoholic.
316
00:13:54,659 --> 00:13:56,357
GROUP:
Hi, Bonnie.
317
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,446
I wasn'’t gonna come tonight
because I was too busy
318
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,230
feeling sorry for myself.
319
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,016
But then I thought, "No, Bonnie.
320
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:05,148
"You'’re not
a self-centered person.
321
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:06,106
Don'’t start now."
322
00:14:09,979 --> 00:14:12,199
Sorry.
323
00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:14,114
Anyway,
324
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:17,769
I want you to know
that I love, appreciate,
325
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,425
and am grateful
for each and every one of you.
326
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:24,254
You taught me how to live,
327
00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:26,996
and now...
328
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:30,043
now I'’m gonna teach you
how to die.
329
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,743
Oh, for God'’s sake,
shut up.
330
00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:35,787
Excuse me?
331
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,224
Stop with all the drama.
332
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,269
You don'’t even have
a diagnosis yet.
333
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,924
And if you do,
it'’s not a death sentence.
334
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:44,709
Hey, you shared
about your cancer all the time.
335
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:48,061
Because I hadcancer!
336
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,846
All you have is a chance
of cancer.
337
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,282
You have...
338
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,980
chancer!
339
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,112
Okay.
340
00:14:56,199 --> 00:15:00,856
Apparently, this is not
the safe place I thought it was.
341
00:15:03,598 --> 00:15:05,426
[door slams]
342
00:15:05,513 --> 00:15:09,865
And as long as I'’m being honest,
screw you and your size zero.
343
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:15,871
[knocking]
344
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,659
Hey.Come on in.
345
00:15:21,746 --> 00:15:23,400
How'’s our patient?
346
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:24,445
Who cares?
347
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,490
Thank you. These are beautiful.
348
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,318
Um, those are
kind of for your mom.
349
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:31,365
Yeah, well, now they'’re mine.
She'’s upstairs.
350
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,454
And if you see any more moles,
keep it to yourself.
351
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,849
[knocking]
352
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,025
Hello?
353
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:40,504
Oh, hi. Come on in.
354
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:43,855
For the record,
I brought you some flowers.
355
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,161
Oh.
356
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:47,033
Nice. Where are they?
357
00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:50,210
Christy took '’em for herself.
She was really mean.
358
00:15:50,297 --> 00:15:52,952
Try asking her
for a bucket of chicken.
359
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:54,605
What are you doin'’ there?
360
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,520
I'’m drawing up a list
of things I haven'’t done
361
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:59,436
in case the biopsy
is bad news.
362
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:03,136
Okay.You'’re not gonna tell me
I'’m being ridiculous?
363
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,528
Nope. I think ridiculous
364
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,487
is one of your more
endearing qualities.
365
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,402
Let'’s see.
366
00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,752
"Throw out the first pitch
at a Giants game."
367
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:14,321
While sober
and fully clothed.
368
00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:15,409
Okay.
369
00:16:15,496 --> 00:16:16,714
"Have dinner
at the White House."
370
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:19,891
Again, sober
and fully clothed.
371
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:22,503
"Jump out of a plane."
Sober and clothed?
372
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:25,723
And without someone
pushing me.
373
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,421
I'’m seein'’
a little trend here.
374
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,859
Is there anything
you haven'’t done drunk or sober?
375
00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:32,992
Hmm...
376
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,516
Christy, guess what.
377
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,344
We'’re getting married!
378
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:41,696
Of course you are.
379
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:44,003
Those were your flowers.
380
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,185
You know what'’s amazing?
381
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,230
Even though I'’ve been scared
and hopeless all week,
382
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,450
I-I haven'’t thought
about drinking.
383
00:16:56,537 --> 00:16:59,409
That is amazing. I ran out
of soy milk this morning
384
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:02,064
and for a brief second
considered shooting heroin.
385
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:05,937
Christy, I-I know
386
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:06,938
I'’ve been a nightmare
through all this,
387
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:07,983
and I'’m sorry.
388
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:09,506
Yeah, thanks.
389
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:12,074
Third movie, Batman,
seven letters.
390
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:13,815
[knocking]
391
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:18,820
So, we got the results
from your biopsy...
392
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:20,082
Just say it.
I have cancer.
393
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:23,129
Look at you, making my job easy.
394
00:17:23,216 --> 00:17:25,087
Oh, my God, what?
395
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:26,610
The mole was indeed malignant,
396
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:28,177
but we'’re confident
we got it all.
397
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,352
There'’s no need
for further treatments,
398
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,050
just regular checkups.
399
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:34,357
So what you'’re saying is,
not only did I have cancer,
400
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,359
I beat cancer?
401
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:39,928
You beat it '’cause I carved
it out of your body, but okay.
402
00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:41,799
I'’ll see you again
in six months.
403
00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:44,063
Please don'’t steal
any more cotton balls.
404
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:49,894
Oh, Mom. I was so worried
I was gonna lose you.
405
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:53,159
Really? How come you
were being so horrible to me?
406
00:17:53,246 --> 00:17:55,639
'’Cause that'’s how I love!
407
00:17:56,988 --> 00:18:00,209
I guess
we have a wedding to plan.
408
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,211
Uh...
409
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:03,865
Mm.
410
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:07,042
Yeah, Steve, uh, listen,
411
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,697
about our engagement...
412
00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,351
You'’re pushing me out
of the plane?
413
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:14,441
I-I'’m gonna live.
Why would I want to be married?
29010
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