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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,698 --> 00:00:04,352 Previously onMom... 2 00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,397 You said you wanted to meet my new girlfriend. Ta-da. 3 00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:07,398 Christy, Candace. Candace, Christy. 4 00:00:07,485 --> 00:00:08,443 Nice to meet you. 5 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:09,922 Oh, same here. 6 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,750 You know, Baxter'’s told me 7 00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,709 all about how you'’ve turned your life around. 8 00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,928 [chuckles] Good for you. 9 00:00:17,582 --> 00:00:19,280 Candace bought me new clothes. 10 00:00:19,367 --> 00:00:20,977 Yeah, I noticed. 11 00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:22,761 No one'’s owned them before. 12 00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:25,373 I'’m the first person to wear them. 13 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:28,028 Christy, I hear you just moved into a new apartment. 14 00:00:28,115 --> 00:00:30,117 Yeah, we'’re really excited about it. 15 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,814 I live in the closet. 16 00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:35,209 Hey, you made it. 17 00:00:35,296 --> 00:00:36,819 Can we go swimming? 18 00:00:36,906 --> 00:00:38,734 The pool is heated and the spa'’s all toasty. 19 00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:39,952 Go put your suit on. 20 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,171 [chuckles] 21 00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,520 Okay, sweetie. 22 00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,261 Love you! Bye! 23 00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:45,915 Candace fixed up the guest room. 24 00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:47,525 He'’s got his own TV, video games. 25 00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:51,703 Ooh, and a closet that he can use as a closet. 26 00:00:51,790 --> 00:00:54,054 [laughs] That'’s a good one. 27 00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:55,533 Bye. 28 00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,278 [grunting, muttering] 29 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,758 Merry Christmas, Mom. 30 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:04,890 Oh, thank you, honey. 31 00:01:04,977 --> 00:01:07,023 I got you a perfume that'’s a little less obvious. 32 00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:11,332 [laughs] Oh, where does he get it? 33 00:01:13,203 --> 00:01:14,944 Yeah, well, I say that to all the parents, 34 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:16,641 and so few listen. 35 00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,339 Just so we'’re clear, I am the parent. 36 00:01:18,426 --> 00:01:20,167 I may not listen, but I am the parent. 37 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,909 It'’s okay, Christy. 38 00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:26,564 We all know you'’re doing the best that you can. 39 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:30,090 Do not do the pity voice with me. 40 00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:32,875 Oh, dear. Now you'’re upset. 41 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:38,707 I am not upset, you big red turd. 42 00:01:42,145 --> 00:01:44,104 Hey, Dad. 43 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,757 Hey, buddy. Candace made cookies; they'’re in the kitchen. 44 00:01:45,844 --> 00:01:47,019 Bye, Mom. 45 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,543 Bye! 46 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,806 He used to give me a hug. 47 00:01:50,893 --> 00:01:53,200 Yeah, he'’s at that age. I wouldn'’t take it personally. 48 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:54,288 CANDACE: Look who'’s home. 49 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,377 Ooh, what a big hug! 50 00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:01,033 Come on, he'’d hug a scorpion if it had a cookie. 51 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,948 He just did. 52 00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:04,602 See you later. 53 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,430 See ya. 54 00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:08,040 CANDACE: Oh. Christy? Wait. 55 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,694 So close. 56 00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:11,609 Hey! 57 00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:12,784 You got a sec? 58 00:02:12,871 --> 00:02:14,264 Uh, sure. What'’s up? 59 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,092 Well, I'’ve just been thinking, 60 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,138 now that Baxter and I are getting married, 61 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,923 you and I are gonna be in each other'’s lives a lot. 62 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:23,665 Yeah, I think about that, too. 63 00:02:23,752 --> 00:02:25,145 Wouldn'’t it just be easier 64 00:02:25,232 --> 00:02:29,149 if new wife and... old wife were friends? 65 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,499 "Old wife." [chuckles] Good start. 66 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,414 How about I take you to lunch tomorrow? 67 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,155 Oh! 68 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:37,157 [groans] 69 00:02:37,244 --> 00:02:42,205 That sounds super fun and n-nutritious, uh... 70 00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:44,947 but, um, ugh, I have plans with my mom tomorrow. 71 00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,818 Bring her. I love Bonnie. 72 00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:49,430 If we'’re gonna be friends, you can'’t lie to me. 73 00:02:49,517 --> 00:02:51,910 [chuckles] 1:00 at the Oak Ridge Country Club? 74 00:02:51,997 --> 00:02:53,042 Okay, uh, great. 75 00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,304 I will see you there. 76 00:02:54,391 --> 00:02:56,393 Yay! [chuckles] Mmm. 77 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,962 Oh, there'’s the hug Roscoe loves. 78 00:03:00,049 --> 00:03:01,964 ♪ 79 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,200 How about this? 80 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,984 [groans] At a fancy country club? 81 00:03:22,071 --> 00:03:23,333 I don'’t think so. 82 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:24,378 What'’s wrong with it? 83 00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,336 Makes me look poor. 84 00:03:26,423 --> 00:03:28,904 All right, then we should stop looking in this closet. 85 00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,558 [groans] 86 00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,168 Candace couldn'’t just take us to 87 00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,430 a nice restaurant at the mall, 88 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,127 she had to invite us to her club 89 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,999 to remind us how much money she'’s got. 90 00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,262 So why are you doing this?Why do you think? For Roscoe. 91 00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:41,264 You know, she'’s gonna be in his life a long time. 92 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,397 I got to figure out a way to get along with her. 93 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,877 Look at you, taking the high road. 94 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,097 Yeah, I just don'’t want to look like a Sherpa 95 00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:49,316 while I'’m taking it. 96 00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:51,274 What are you gonna wear? 97 00:03:51,361 --> 00:03:54,538 I thought I'’d get something from Neiman Marcus. 98 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,236 How can you afford that? 99 00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,325 Leave the tag on, return it the next day, 100 00:03:58,412 --> 00:04:00,240 making sure not to sweat, spill or dribble. 101 00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,894 You'’re an evil genius. 102 00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,461 Let'’s go. 103 00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:05,984 Okay. We'’re gonna need shoes, too. 104 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,986 Ooh, how do we return those? Easy. 105 00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:11,251 Put nipple pasties on the soles so they don'’t scuff. 106 00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,296 You really should start a blog. 107 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:17,082 Unfortunately, we will have to wear our own underwear. 108 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:23,828 Ooh, I could get used to this. 109 00:04:23,915 --> 00:04:25,352 Right? 110 00:04:25,439 --> 00:04:26,396 Tag check. 111 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:27,484 Clear. 112 00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:28,920 Good to go. 113 00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:30,095 Hey, guys. 114 00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:33,098 Oop. Nip slip. 115 00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,929 Hi! You two look really nice. 116 00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:39,975 Oh, thank you. So do you. 117 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,716 Is that new? 118 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,153 Oh, gosh, no. [chuckles] When did I get this? 119 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:46,242 When we went to the opera in San Francisco. 120 00:04:46,329 --> 00:04:47,678 Oh, that'’s right. 121 00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:48,984 "Rigolotto." Rigoletto. 122 00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:50,290 We saw them both. 123 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,250 Thanks for letting me join you. 124 00:04:54,337 --> 00:04:56,252 Oh, no. Thank you for coming. 125 00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,950 I have to tell you, Baxter is sitting at home right now, 126 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:02,214 out of his mind with worry that the three of us won'’t get along. 127 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,955 Why wouldn'’t we get along? 128 00:05:04,042 --> 00:05:06,088 That is exactly what I said to him. 129 00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,656 Frankly, I think he'’s afraid we'’ll gossip about him. 130 00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:10,527 [laughter] 131 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,660 Like we don'’t have better things to talk about. 132 00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:13,748 [laughter] 133 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:26,543 So, Bonnie, what is it like to manage an apartment building? 134 00:05:26,630 --> 00:05:28,502 Well, to be honest, I don'’t think of it 135 00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,199 as managing a building, I think of it 136 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,027 as managing a diverse community of people. 137 00:05:32,114 --> 00:05:34,159 Oh, that'’s a lovely thought. 138 00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,858 I'’m kidding. I'’m mostly killing mice and unclogging toilets. 139 00:05:36,945 --> 00:05:38,163 So what'’s good here? 140 00:05:41,776 --> 00:05:44,039 Okay, okay, okay. I am dying to ask. 141 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:47,390 What is the deal with Baxter and Q-tips? 142 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:49,914 Oh, no. Is he still leaving them on the sink? 143 00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,308 The sink, the bathtub, the nightstand. 144 00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,920 The other day, I found one in the refrigerator. 145 00:05:56,007 --> 00:05:57,835 Yeah, you got to go easy on him with that. 146 00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,446 When he cleans his ears, 147 00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,273 it'’s like he goes into a trance state. 148 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,275 He doesn'’t even know he'’s doing it. 149 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,191 Remember when we took him to the emergency room to get one out? 150 00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:09,630 Oh, God. A Q-tip got stuck in his ear? 151 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:10,892 You know what, we'’re having lunch. 152 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:12,067 Yeah, let'’s say ear. 153 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:13,982 [laughter] 154 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,897 Oh, well, you got to love him. 155 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,029 Oh, no, yougot to love him. I did my time. 156 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,553 [laughter] 157 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,816 Oh. This is so much fun. 158 00:06:21,903 --> 00:06:24,732 See, I knew if we made the effort, we could get along. 159 00:06:24,819 --> 00:06:26,734 Absolutely. There'’s a spa here, right? 160 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:29,258 Oh, one of the best.Oh, yeah, we'’re getting along. 161 00:06:29,345 --> 00:06:31,042 Well, look who'’s here. 162 00:06:31,129 --> 00:06:33,262 Oh, hi, Daddy.Hey, Snickerdoodle. 163 00:06:33,349 --> 00:06:36,396 Uh, these are my friends, Christy and Bonnie. 164 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,093 Ah, nice to meet you.Nice to meet you. 165 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:39,877 Fred Hayes.Hi. Christy. 166 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,879 So how do you girls know each other? 167 00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:44,926 Well, Christy actually used to be married to Baxter. 168 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,580 Really? 169 00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:48,277 And you'’re friends? 170 00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:50,714 I'’m as surprised as you are. 171 00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:51,933 [chuckles] 172 00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,587 And how about this lovely lady? 173 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,285 Have you also slept with Baxter? 174 00:06:56,372 --> 00:06:59,506 I'’m her mother, and ew. 175 00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:03,945 You know, your ex is one of my most popular employees. 176 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,425 Mm. I'’m not surprised. 177 00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:06,948 He'’s a terrific guy. 178 00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,124 That and he sells killer weed. 179 00:07:09,211 --> 00:07:10,821 Daddy. 180 00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,476 Oh, lighten up. He gives me a family discount. 181 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,304 What? I never got a discount. 182 00:07:15,391 --> 00:07:17,175 Maybe that'’s because, at our wedding, 183 00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:19,961 you introduced him to people as my "first husband." 184 00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:24,313 You know, I'’m liking Candace'’s new friends. 185 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:25,836 Especially you. 186 00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:32,103 Oh. Thank you, I guess. 187 00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,323 So, Daddy... 188 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:35,977 aren'’t you gonna go play golf? 189 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:38,327 FRED: No, I'’ve got plenty of time. 190 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,807 So, Christy, do you play? 191 00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:42,766 Only if there'’s a windmill. [chuckles] 192 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:46,204 Don'’t have any of those. 193 00:07:46,291 --> 00:07:48,555 But we do have a waterfall on the tenth hole. 194 00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:51,688 Would you like to see it? 195 00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:54,865 Um, I'’m not wearing any sunblock. 196 00:07:54,952 --> 00:07:55,997 Hang on. I'’ve got some. 197 00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,128 No, no, Mom, I'’m fine. 198 00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:58,347 Close your eyes. 199 00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,438 Off you go. 200 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,400 I understand you ordering lava cake. 201 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:11,229 I don'’t understand how you got it on your ass. 202 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:13,536 It'’s lava. 203 00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,844 Well, I don'’t see how we can take it back to the store. 204 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,846 I hope you have a plan to pay for it. 205 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:21,631 I do. You'’re gonna marry Candace'’s dad. 206 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,372 God, will you stop it with that?! 207 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:25,505 He just showed me around the golf course. 208 00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:27,419 Yeah, and bought you a putter in the pro shop. 209 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:31,902 For old white guys, this is as good as a promise ring. 210 00:08:31,989 --> 00:08:33,556 He only bought it because I told him 211 00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,210 I always wanted to learn to play golf, 212 00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:36,254 which isn'’t even true. 213 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,865 So you started on a lie. 214 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,997 All the best relationships start that way. 215 00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:43,174 For the last time, I am not going out with Candace'’s father. 216 00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,262 [doorbell rings] 217 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,786 This dress cost $1,200. 218 00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,092 Yeah, you are. 219 00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,444 Delivery for Christy Plunkett. 220 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,446 It'’s happening! It'’s happening! It'’s happening! 221 00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,321 Read the card. Read the card. Read the card. 222 00:08:59,408 --> 00:09:01,105 Would you please calm down? 223 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,895 [mouthing] 224 00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,553 [sighs] He wants to have dinner with me. 225 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,685 Thank you, Jesus! 226 00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:18,383 I'’m not having dinner with him. 227 00:09:18,470 --> 00:09:19,733 We'’re not? 228 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:22,126 Mom, he'’s Candace'’s father. 229 00:09:22,213 --> 00:09:24,520 He'’s gonna be Baxter'’s father-in-law 230 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,130 and Roscoe'’s step-grandfather. 231 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,132 And he'’s got five car dealerships, 232 00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,961 a full head of hair and when he looks down he can see his belt. 233 00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,008 Doesn'’t matter. 234 00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:36,576 I'’m finally starting to get along with Candace, 235 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:39,143 and she is, like it or not, a part of my son'’s life. 236 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,581 What are you doing?I'’m calling Fred to tell him I'’m not gonna 237 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,626 go out with him.No, you'’re not. 238 00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,323 Give me the phone.Hear me out. 239 00:09:45,410 --> 00:09:46,760 I don'’t need to hear you out. 240 00:09:46,847 --> 00:09:47,891 Gimme.Yes, 241 00:09:47,978 --> 00:09:50,764 I get the Roscoe thing, 242 00:09:50,851 --> 00:09:53,114 but you deserve to be happy too. 243 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:54,768 Now, think about it. 244 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:56,508 You'’re pushing 40. 245 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,988 [grunts]Yeah. How many rich guys 246 00:09:58,075 --> 00:09:59,599 in golf carts are coming your way? 247 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:01,165 [grunts] 248 00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:03,080 Oh, screw it.If you turn that man down, 249 00:10:03,167 --> 00:10:04,342 I swear I will disown you. 250 00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:06,214 Oh, no. And lose all this? 251 00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,739 That'’s my point. 252 00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:14,918 Thank you. 253 00:10:17,704 --> 00:10:19,488 He sent another one?Yup. 254 00:10:19,575 --> 00:10:21,098 It'’s a 60-degree sand wedge. 255 00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,187 I think it helps you get out of those little 256 00:10:23,274 --> 00:10:25,276 pretend beaches they have there. 257 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:27,322 How many is that? 258 00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:31,021 Looks like a whole set. 259 00:10:31,108 --> 00:10:33,154 This guy won'’t take no for an answer. 260 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:35,983 So how about we shave those legs and say yes. 261 00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:37,985 Not gonna happen. 262 00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,682 [doorbell rings]What do you want to bet 263 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,336 that'’s balls? 264 00:10:41,423 --> 00:10:43,860 Which you could use. 265 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,209 Hello, Bonnie. 266 00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:46,950 Hey, Snickerdoodle, what'’s up? 267 00:10:48,604 --> 00:10:50,650 We seem to have a bit of a situation. 268 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,781 Is Roscoe okay? 269 00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,000 Oh, he'’s fine. 270 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,479 Christy, can we speak privately? 271 00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:56,656 No. What'’s going on? 272 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,529 I don'’t know what your game is, 273 00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,531 but I want you to stay away from my father. 274 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:05,534 I don'’t have a game. 275 00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,754 But she could if she took some lessons. 276 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,279 I know you'’re jealous of me. 277 00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,281 You'’ve always been jealous of me. 278 00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:15,936 But I can live with that because I was raised to be tolerant 279 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,589 of those who are less fortunate. 280 00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,591 What I can'’t live with is you trying 281 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,725 to better yourself by seducing my father. 282 00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:25,685 I didn'’t seduce anybody. 283 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:27,295 I'’m only gonna say this once. 284 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,645 Stay away from him. 285 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,039 Once'’ll do it. 286 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,997 It'’s ringing. 287 00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,698 Hi, Fred, it'’s Christy. 288 00:11:40,569 --> 00:11:42,136 I changed my mind. 289 00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:43,790 I would love to have dinner with you. 290 00:11:43,877 --> 00:11:45,748 Really can'’t thank you enough. 291 00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,280 [sighs] I can'’t believe we didn'’t go shopping 292 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,848 for what is clearly the most important date of our lives. 293 00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,981 It'’s not important. I'’m just doing this 294 00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:02,547 to punish Candace-- it'’s one-and-done. 295 00:12:02,634 --> 00:12:04,288 That makes no sense. 296 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,203 Fred seems like a great guy. 297 00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:07,683 I'’m sure he is. 298 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,337 So after all the losers we'’ve had, 299 00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,774 don'’t we deserve a great guy? 300 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,820 Stop saying "we."If you think 301 00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,561 you'’re getting out of here without me, you'’re wrong, bucko. 302 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,739 Let it go. 303 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:21,784 Now, how do I look? 304 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,830 Now I don'’t care. 305 00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:25,266 Cheer up, I shaved. 306 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:26,702 Big whoop. 307 00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,225 [doorbell rings]Oh, that'’s him. 308 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,186 Christy, wait. 309 00:12:32,273 --> 00:12:33,796 Let me just give you one piece 310 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,189 of motherly advice. 311 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,975 If you think you'’re punishing Candace 312 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,498 by having dinner with her father, 313 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,500 just imagine how she'’d feel 314 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:45,112 if you managed to get pregnant tonight! 315 00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,254 Are you sure this doesn'’t bother you? 316 00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:58,821 Oh, not at all. 317 00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,867 In fact, I hope you get drunk 318 00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:02,782 so I can drive your Ferrari out there. 319 00:13:04,653 --> 00:13:06,873 So, uh, let me see if I understand this-- 320 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,484 you just woke up one day and said, 321 00:13:09,571 --> 00:13:10,877 "I'’m never gonna drink again"? 322 00:13:10,964 --> 00:13:12,443 Yup. 323 00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:14,271 And then 11 years later I quit drinking. 324 00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:15,882 [laughs] 325 00:13:15,969 --> 00:13:17,884 Well, whatever you did, I'’m impressed 326 00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,581 with the way you turned your life around. 327 00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:22,845 You should be. I'’m a miracle. 328 00:13:22,932 --> 00:13:24,804 Yeah, you are. Working two jobs, 329 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,762 raising a child, going to college. 330 00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,372 I can also make anything for dinner as long as 331 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:31,245 I have rice cakes, mustard and American cheese. 332 00:13:32,942 --> 00:13:35,553 So, um, tell me about you. 333 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,600 What'’s it like to be Napa Valley'’s 334 00:13:38,687 --> 00:13:40,602 king of Korean cars? 335 00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:42,865 Oh, you saw the commercial. 336 00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:46,042 Not a lot of guys can pull off a crown. 337 00:13:46,129 --> 00:13:48,175 To answer your question, 338 00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,699 it'’s good to be the king of Korean cars. 339 00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:53,963 It'’s allowed me to be the driver of Italian cars. 340 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,184 How long have you been doing it? 341 00:13:57,271 --> 00:13:59,055 Oh, let'’s see, uh... 342 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:00,883 it'’s coming up on 40 years. 343 00:14:00,970 --> 00:14:04,713 Wow, that'’s longer than I'’ve been... 344 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:07,498 that'’s a long time. 345 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,370 Nice save. 346 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,157 Yeah, just so you know, uh, 347 00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:15,855 I'’m not in the habit of going out 348 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,291 with my daughter'’s friends. 349 00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,510 Oh, I'’m-I'’m not her friend. 350 00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,382 Good. 351 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,997 I'’m sorry if I 352 00:14:28,084 --> 00:14:30,217 [clears throat] freaked you out on that last turn. 353 00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:31,696 No, no, it'’s a Ferrari, 354 00:14:31,783 --> 00:14:34,438 it'’s meant to be driven fast. 355 00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:37,485 But [clears throat] not on two wheels. 356 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:40,575 No, they give you four for a reason. 357 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,664 Well, um... 358 00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,753 we'’re here, so... 359 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,582 Uh, thank you for a lovely evening. 360 00:14:47,669 --> 00:14:49,453 Thank you. 361 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,542 I... really had a good time. 362 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,022 I'’m glad. 363 00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,589 When can I see you again? 364 00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:59,420 Well, uh, that'’s a little tricky. 365 00:14:59,507 --> 00:15:02,771 You get how this situation is complicated. 366 00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:04,729 I do. 367 00:15:07,123 --> 00:15:09,343 So how about tomorrow? 368 00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,214 Great. [chuckles] 369 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:13,608 I'’ll bring a slower car. 370 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:18,004 Good night.Good night. 371 00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,831 CROWD: Let'’s go, Stanford! 372 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,790 ANNOUNCER: As Jeran just facing up Lampley a little hard 373 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,010 off the back arm. 374 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:28,318 Hey. 375 00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:32,496 Hey. 376 00:15:32,583 --> 00:15:34,977 So... aren'’t you curious? 377 00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:38,285 It'’s 10:00, all my questions are answered. 378 00:15:38,372 --> 00:15:40,156 Okay. 379 00:15:40,243 --> 00:15:43,464 So I guess I won'’t tell you 380 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:45,074 I really like him, 381 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:47,381 and I'’m seeing him again tomorrow night. 382 00:15:49,296 --> 00:15:51,211 Don'’t you be messing with me! 383 00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:53,604 I'’m not. We had a great time. 384 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:55,128 We did?We did! 385 00:15:55,215 --> 00:15:56,956 Did we make out?I wet my lips, 386 00:15:57,043 --> 00:15:58,522 but he was a perfect gentleman. 387 00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:01,134 Oh, baby, I'’m so happy for us! 388 00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:03,136 [knocking] Oh. 389 00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:05,138 Maybe the perfect gentleman came back to bend you over the couch. 390 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,709 Why are you ruining my life? 391 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:14,234 What are you talking about? 392 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:17,063 If you'’re doing this to make Candace crazy, congratulations. 393 00:16:17,150 --> 00:16:19,065 She'’s crying, drinking and screaming. 394 00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:21,328 It'’s like I'’m married to you again. 395 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,199 Really? 396 00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:24,940 Come on in and tell me about all it. 397 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,203 I'’ve never seen her like this. 398 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:29,423 You have hit the button of all buttons. 399 00:16:29,510 --> 00:16:31,773 The button that launches all the missiles! 400 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:34,515 I'’m-I'’m sorry, that-that wasn'’t my intention. 401 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,952 I mean, it was, but not now. 402 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,216 I... really like Fred. 403 00:16:40,303 --> 00:16:43,741 And I intend to keep seeing him. 404 00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:47,223 All right, I was hoping it wouldn'’t come to this, 405 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,182 but you leave me no choice. 406 00:16:49,269 --> 00:16:50,574 What are you doing? 407 00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:51,836 I have a personal checking account 408 00:16:51,923 --> 00:16:54,665 with $8,427 in it. 409 00:16:54,752 --> 00:16:56,972 If you agree to stop seeing Fred, it'’s all yours. 410 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,976 Minus the $25 I need to keep the account open. 411 00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:04,240 You think you can buy me? 412 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:05,633 That cheaply? 413 00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:10,420 Fine, take the 25 bucks! I'’ll close the account. 414 00:17:10,507 --> 00:17:12,901 That'’s enough, Baxter. You need to go. 415 00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,816 You don'’t understand--Good night, Baxter! 416 00:17:14,903 --> 00:17:16,383 I wouldn'’t do this to you-- 417 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,775 The missus said good night! 418 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:20,952 You believe that guy? 419 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,824 Yeah, as if we care about money. 420 00:17:30,527 --> 00:17:31,963 [doorbell rings] 421 00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,406 Roscoe ready? 422 00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:44,063 Roscoe, your mom'’s here. 423 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,512 Any time, Roscoe! 424 00:17:59,687 --> 00:18:01,341 Hi, Mom. 425 00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:03,517 Hey, sweetie, did you have fun this weekend? 426 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:06,128 Yeah, Dad took me to the fair and I got to drive a go-cart. 427 00:18:06,215 --> 00:18:07,521 Mm, cool. 428 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,479 I got to drive a Ferrari. 30350

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