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1
00:00:02,915 --> 00:00:04,352
Hi, I'’m Bonnie,
and I'’m an alcoholic.
2
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,441
ALL: Hi, Bonnie.Well... [sighs]
3
00:00:06,528 --> 00:00:08,138
...there'’s only nine more
dating days till Christmas,
4
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,748
and I'’m starting to lose hope.
5
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,750
I mean, how is it
this package has no one
6
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,797
to unwrap it
on Christmas morning?
7
00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:17,104
The holidays are rough enough
without drinking.
8
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,975
At this point, I'’d let anyone...
9
00:00:19,062 --> 00:00:22,196
Stuff my turkey...
10
00:00:22,283 --> 00:00:25,503
put it in the oven
and finish decorating.
11
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,593
I mean, I haven'’t had
a boyfriend since...
12
00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,813
1923.
13
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,338
[sighs]
With the year I'’ve had,
14
00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:37,211
with the cancer and the chemo...
15
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,300
The Brazilian butt-lift.
16
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,043
I mean, nothing'’s working.
17
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,697
I still don'’t have a guy to wake
up with on Christmas morning.
18
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:47,656
And it'’s just not the same
19
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,050
having your staff watch you
open your gifts, you know?
20
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,355
I mean, they say
"Feliz Navidad,"
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,662
but their hearts aren'’t in it.
22
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,359
[sighs]
23
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:57,013
A little sex
right now would be...
24
00:00:57,100 --> 00:00:59,711
Difficult without a ladder.
25
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:03,063
I just, I need a guy
who can drag in a tree,
26
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:07,023
hang lights, put together
a toy for my kid...
27
00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,721
Okay, and maybe...
28
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:13,029
cuddle me by the fire
at his lake house,
29
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:15,031
tell me I'’m special...
30
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,686
while he slowly undresses me.
31
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,389
Anyway,
merry freaking Christmas.
32
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:28,044
♪
33
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:33,745
Now you realize if we do this,
34
00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:36,226
we are officially giving up.
35
00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:40,056
Oh, don'’t ruin cake,
it'’s all I have left.
36
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:45,931
ALL:
Mmm.
37
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:48,412
Maybe we'’ll all meet
guys at the dance.
38
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:51,023
For the last time, we are not
spending Christmas Eve
39
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,416
at a sober dance.
40
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,157
Why not?It'’s a sober dance.
41
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,248
We'’re gonna remember
every minute of it.
42
00:01:58,335 --> 00:01:59,641
Hey, everybody.
43
00:01:59,728 --> 00:02:00,903
Hi.
Hey, roomie.
44
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:02,034
BONNIE:
Look who'’s here.
45
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,384
CHRISTY:
Welcome back.
46
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,342
How was your
church conference?
47
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:08,824
Great. If I got paid by
the "amen," I'’d be a rich woman.
48
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:12,480
Ooh, we'’re gonna need another
fork over here pronto.
49
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,569
What'’s been going on
around here?
50
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:17,485
Well, a lot of people
are very excited
51
00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:20,140
about the holiday sober dance.[all groaning]
52
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:23,230
Oh, yeah, I got
your Evite.
Can you come?
53
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:25,275
Well, I got to check
my schedule.
54
00:02:25,362 --> 00:02:26,885
That'’s a no, Wendy.
55
00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:29,061
Did you get to any
meetings in Atlanta?
56
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,107
No, we were
really busy.
57
00:02:31,194 --> 00:02:33,936
Well, you can jump back
in now that you'’re home.
58
00:02:34,023 --> 00:02:35,633
Yeah, I guess.
59
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,679
This cake is
really delicious.
60
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:39,985
It'’s the same cake I ordered
for the sober dance.
61
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,900
Oh, for God'’s sake, let it go.
62
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,077
You know, if we'’re
gonna have a party,
63
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,470
we should have
one for you.
64
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,168
That'’s right.
65
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,300
You'’re coming on
two years sober.
66
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,693
Hey.Great.
67
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,956
WENDY:
Mmm, congratulations.
68
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:57,873
Well, actually that'’s something
I wanted to talk to you about.
69
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:05,837
After a lot of soul-searching
and prayer,
70
00:03:05,924 --> 00:03:09,624
I, uh, decided
I'’m not an alcoholic.
71
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,108
You'’re not just saying that to
get out of the dance, are you?
72
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:21,026
If so, I'’m not
an alcoholic either.
73
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:23,028
♪
74
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:40,524
So, first night
of the conference,
75
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,396
a bunch of us
went out to dinner,
76
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:44,267
and Reverend Baker ordered
a bottle of Cabernet.
77
00:03:44,354 --> 00:03:47,096
The waiter filled my glass,
and I looked at it,
78
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:50,404
and I thought,
"I think I can handle this."
79
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,362
And you know what?
I was right.
80
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:53,885
I didn'’t even finish my glass.
81
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,931
I did that once.
82
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,847
But only because the ambulance
driver insisted I put it down.
83
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,892
Here'’s the thing.
84
00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:03,895
Alcohol was never my problem,
drugs were my problem.
85
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,246
Now, if Reverend Baker
bought us an eight ball,
86
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:08,639
I'’d still be in Atlanta
looking for my panties.
87
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,817
But with wine, I'’m okay.
88
00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:16,778
So let me get this straight--
you'’re drinking now?
89
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,910
It'’s been a week, and I'’ve had,
90
00:04:18,997 --> 00:04:21,435
I don'’t know,
maybe three glasses.
91
00:04:21,522 --> 00:04:23,132
By glasses,
you mean bottles.
92
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,787
By bottles,
you mean cases.
93
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:27,832
No, I mean glasses.
94
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:31,662
I hope you'’re okay with it.
95
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,360
You girls are my family.
96
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:35,057
I don'’t want this
to change anything.
97
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:37,842
MARJORIE:
It won'’t.
98
00:04:37,929 --> 00:04:39,670
This is a
self-diagnosed disease.
99
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,977
If you don'’t think
you have a problem,
100
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:43,413
who are we to
say you do?
101
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,721
I'’m gonna say it.
102
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,507
I was with her
at her first meeting.
103
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:54,076
She had $10,000 worth of drugs
and a full minibar in her purse.
104
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:55,860
But no wine.
105
00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:58,602
Bonnie, not our call.
106
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:02,345
So we'’re cool?
107
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:07,959
Once in a while, if I have
a glass of wine in front of you,
108
00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,439
you'’re all okay?
109
00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,313
Well, I think...
110
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,140
Marjorie,
what do I think?
111
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:18,187
Regina, we love you,
112
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,841
and there'’s no
judgment here.
113
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,712
Matter of fact...
114
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,758
Waiter, would you bring our
friend a glass of, uh...
115
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:25,107
Cabernet.
116
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:26,500
Cabernet.
117
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,850
[whispering]:
Is this a trick?
118
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,156
Probably, she'’s
like a Jedi.
119
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,208
Is anyone else hearing
saxophone music?
120
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,820
Enjoy.
121
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,039
Thank you.
Thank you,
thank you.
122
00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:45,736
You sure this is okay?
123
00:05:45,823 --> 00:05:47,825
Yes.Yes, absolutely.
124
00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,006
So y'’all have
plans for Chr...
125
00:05:58,096 --> 00:06:00,011
Just lip gloss.
126
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:02,013
♪
127
00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,844
How was your run?
128
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,585
[sighs]
Who cares?
129
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:11,545
No man'’s ever gonna
see me naked again.
130
00:06:11,632 --> 00:06:13,198
What do you say,
after I take a shower,
131
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,591
we go pick up a tree?
132
00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:16,463
[groans]
I don'’t know.
133
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,552
Maybe we should just
skip Christmas this year.
134
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:22,033
Aw, what'’s wrong,
Charlie Brown?
135
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:23,644
What'’s the point?
136
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,646
Roscoe and Violet aren'’t
gonna be around,
137
00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:28,736
Regina'’s drinking again,
and I saw what you bought me.
138
00:06:28,823 --> 00:06:31,347
First of all,
I saw what youbought me,
139
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:32,870
so we'’re both disappointed.
140
00:06:34,698 --> 00:06:37,309
And the Regina thing
is gonna be fine.
141
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,964
Do you honestly think
she can drink like normal
142
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:41,357
and nothing bad
will happen?
143
00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:43,272
Absolutely not.
144
00:06:43,359 --> 00:06:45,405
She'’s on the bullet train
to "Booze-adelphia."
145
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,450
Then why are
you so calm?
146
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,800
'’Cause I just went
through a relapse.
147
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:51,976
First you think
you can control it,
148
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,631
and then you'’re making out with
a homeless guy in his dumpster,
149
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,068
and then you'’re back eating
stale doughnuts at a meeting.
150
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,853
Circle of life.
151
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,898
[cell phone rings]
152
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:06,121
Oh. Hey, Wendy.
153
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,820
I'’m sorry to call so early, but
I'’m worried sick about Regina.
154
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,257
See? She'’s upset
about Regina too.
155
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,129
Really? She'’s usually
such a rock.
156
00:07:14,216 --> 00:07:16,610
My mom says hi.
157
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:19,090
[cell phone rings]
158
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:20,962
Hey, Jill, what'’s up?
159
00:07:21,049 --> 00:07:23,094
Hey, I can'’t talk loud,
Regina'’s in the kitchen.
160
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:25,619
I keep hearing the blender, and
I think she'’s making margaritas.
161
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,272
Regina'’s making
margaritas.
162
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:29,623
Oh, God.
Regina'’s making margaritas.
163
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,190
First thing in the morning?My bad, it'’s just a smoothie.
164
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,192
It'’s just a smoothie.It'’s a smoothie.
165
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:35,629
Oh, that sounds good. What kind?
166
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:37,108
What kind?What kind?
167
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,588
Who cares?Who cares?
168
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,286
Strawberry.
169
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,984
[phone line beeps]
170
00:07:43,071 --> 00:07:45,290
Oh, hang on, I'’m getting
another call.
171
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,162
What'’s going on, Baxter?
172
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:49,512
Quick Santa-related question.
173
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:52,863
Candace and I were talking about
getting Roscoe the new Xbox,
174
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,300
but we won'’t if you think
it might make you look bad.
175
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,172
[sighs]
Well, actually, it will.
176
00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:00,958
Okay, we did more than talk.
177
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:02,960
We already bought it.
He kind of already saw it.
178
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:04,440
And he'’s kind of
playing with it.
179
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:06,181
Baxter.
180
00:08:06,268 --> 00:08:07,835
I can tell him you want
me to take it back,
181
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:09,358
but that might make
you look bad too.
182
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,620
You think?
183
00:08:10,707 --> 00:08:12,274
Is she upset?
Little.
184
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,580
Aw...
185
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,714
Baxter, do whatever
you'’re gonna do.
186
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:20,543
I'’ve got a nightmare
situation here.What'’s going on?
187
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:23,503
A dear friend of mine has
started drinking in moderation.
188
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,417
All hell is breaking loose.
189
00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:28,899
Okay, I'’m back;
where are we?
190
00:08:28,986 --> 00:08:30,553
Jill thinks we should have
an intervention.
191
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,555
Jill thinks
we should have an intervention.
192
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,339
Does she know how to do one?Does she know how to do one?
193
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,515
Do you know how to do one?
194
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,168
I should, I'’ve had 12.
195
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,388
She'’s had 12.She'’s had 12.
196
00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,216
We still need a grown-up.
I'’m calling Marjorie.
197
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,348
She'’s calling Marjorie.She'’s calling Marjorie.
198
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,179
[humming "Deck
the Halls"]
199
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,356
Holiday hold music.
200
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,706
Oh.
201
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:55,404
[both humming "Deck the Halls"]
202
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,362
What'’s that?Holiday hold music.
203
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:58,581
Oh, fun!
204
00:08:58,668 --> 00:09:00,365
[all humming "Deck the Halls"]
205
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,719
I got her
voice mail.
206
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:08,373
[humming conclusion
to "Deck the Halls"]
207
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,986
♪
208
00:09:12,073 --> 00:09:15,816
So I thought we'’d do it in
here and keep things festive.
209
00:09:15,903 --> 00:09:18,253
I don'’t think you quite
grasp the concept.
210
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,777
Interventions are supposed
to be uncomfortable.
211
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,823
Oh.
212
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:24,781
Well, then we should have
had it at your house.
213
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:28,219
Crab puff?
214
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:31,266
You'’re having
a catered intervention?
215
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:34,051
Mm-hmm, I got the same people
who did Lindsay Lohan'’s.
216
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:38,099
Let'’s not call this
an intervention.
217
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:39,753
It'’s just friends
telling a friend
218
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,277
she might die a horrible
agonizing death.
219
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,148
In a festive room.
220
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,802
REGINA:
Jill?
221
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,804
Uh, second floor
living room!
222
00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:48,805
Okay, here she comes.
223
00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:50,154
Should we hide?
224
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:51,329
It'’s not
a surprise party.
225
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,811
Kind of is.
226
00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,421
Hey, what'’s with
the valet parking?
227
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,121
What are you guys doing here?
228
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,037
Uh, Regina, maybe you
should sit down.
229
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:06,083
Okay.
230
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,871
Honey, we'’re... concerned
231
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,003
about some of the choices
you'’re making.
232
00:10:13,090 --> 00:10:14,439
Surprise.
233
00:10:16,050 --> 00:10:18,530
Regina, I'’ve been
down this road.
234
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,315
Take it from me...
235
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,926
Oh, my God, you'’ve got
to try the mushroom caps.
236
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,364
Wait a minute.
237
00:10:26,451 --> 00:10:28,192
Is this an intervention?OTHERS: Yes.
238
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:30,717
No.But yes.
239
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,197
Weren'’t you listening to me?
I'’m doing great.
240
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,286
Ever since I stopped
going to meetings,
241
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:38,420
I'’ve had time to go to the gym,
do volunteer work,
242
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:40,117
and spend more time
at the office,
243
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:42,250
which has led to a pay raise
and a promotion.
244
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,123
You ask me,
245
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:48,778
I'’ve got it more together
than any of you guys.
246
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,782
Marjorie,
say something.
247
00:10:52,869 --> 00:10:54,784
This wasn'’t my idea.
248
00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:57,047
I knew this was gonna happen.
249
00:10:57,134 --> 00:11:00,529
You just can'’t accept that there
might be another way.
250
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:02,574
Come on, Regina, it'’s
only a matter of time
251
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,403
before a couple drinks leads
to a line of blow and boom--
252
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:07,536
you'’re showing up to
your kid'’s PTA meeting
253
00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,408
in ass-less chaps
and a sombrero.
254
00:11:12,933 --> 00:11:16,763
Or your version of that.
255
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,026
You know what, if this is
what it'’s gonna be like,
256
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,331
I'’m out of here.
257
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,203
But where you going?
258
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:24,988
I'’m moving out of this house
and getting new friends.
259
00:11:28,905 --> 00:11:31,821
We can still stay
and eat, right?
260
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:43,224
Thank you.
261
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:48,925
Is he cute, or am I just
wearing horny goggles?
262
00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:50,057
ALL:
Goggles.
263
00:11:50,144 --> 00:11:52,450
RSVPs are coming in.
264
00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:55,410
♪ There'’ll be lots of guys
at the sober dance. ♪
265
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,368
♪ It doesn'’t help
when you sing it. ♪
266
00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:00,415
Look who'’s here.
267
00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,157
Hey, Regina.
268
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,159
Oh, my goodness!
269
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,770
What a coincidence.
270
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,293
No it isn'’t.
271
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,687
Ladies?
272
00:12:11,774 --> 00:12:14,951
This is my friend
Marcus Manigault-Dupree.
273
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:16,126
Marcus?
274
00:12:16,213 --> 00:12:17,737
This is Bonnie, Wendy, Jill,
275
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:18,955
Christy, Marjorie.
276
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,523
Nice to meet you all.
277
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,525
ALL:
Nice to meet you.
278
00:12:23,612 --> 00:12:25,962
If you'’ll excuse us,
we'’re just gonna grab
279
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,921
a quick bite before we
head back to my place.
280
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:29,879
For dessert.
281
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,801
Happy holidays.
282
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:41,630
ALL:
Happy holidays.
283
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,025
Now she has a boyfriend?
284
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:48,768
You promised me she'’d be kissing
a bum in a dumpster.
285
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:54,164
But she'’s having afternoon sex
with Marcus Manigault-Dupree.
286
00:12:54,251 --> 00:12:56,601
Give her time.
She'’s going down.
287
00:12:56,688 --> 00:12:58,821
Oh, please,
the only person going down
288
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,910
is Marcus Manigault-Dupree!
289
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:06,350
[humming a tune]
290
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,222
Unbelievable.
291
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,659
I leave this by the mailboxes
292
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:12,704
to make it easy for the tenants
293
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,837
to give me a holiday tip,
and all I got
294
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,186
was an Arby'’s coupon
and a Polaroid
295
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:17,666
of a penis in a Santa hat.
296
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,975
[groans]
297
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,674
Give me that.
298
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,980
No, I want to do it.
299
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,115
Whee!
300
00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,207
[knocking]
301
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:42,212
ALL:
Merry Christmas!
302
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:45,346
Hey, Mom, look, it'’s the
people from the catalog.
303
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:47,478
Come on in.
304
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,916
I'’m sorry we'’re early,
but it started to snow in Tahoe
305
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,700
and you know there'’s
nothing like fresh powder.
306
00:13:51,787 --> 00:13:53,615
Oh, you don'’t have
to tell us that.
307
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,662
Merry Christmas, Mom.
308
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:59,751
Aw, thank you, honey.
309
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,015
I got you a perfume that'’s
a little less obvious.
310
00:14:03,581 --> 00:14:04,974
[laughs]
311
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,846
Oh, where does he get it?
312
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,850
And these are
for you and Christy.
313
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:13,156
Oh, wow, how unexpected.
314
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:15,724
Oh, please, don'’t feel bad if
you didn'’t get anything for us.
315
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:17,247
We don'’t.
316
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,423
Don'’t be silly, Mom.
317
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,252
Of course we got them something.
318
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:23,384
Ah...
319
00:14:23,471 --> 00:14:24,907
Here you go.
320
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:26,691
Merry Christmas
from the Plunketts.
321
00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,084
Arby'’s?
322
00:14:28,171 --> 00:14:30,260
Yes!
323
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:34,047
Roscoe, your gifts
are under the tree.
324
00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,876
Can I talk to you for a sec?
325
00:14:36,963 --> 00:14:38,573
Sure.
326
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,184
Here you go.
327
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,403
Santa didn'’t forget
about you.
328
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,102
We need to make this quick.
329
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,843
Candace wants
to hit the road.
330
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,453
She'’s really got you
on a short leash.
331
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,151
You need to man up.
332
00:14:51,238 --> 00:14:53,196
Look at me, Christy.
That ship has sailed.
333
00:14:54,632 --> 00:14:56,199
What'’s going on?
334
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:59,115
I just want to ask your opinion
about something.
335
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:00,116
Okay.
336
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:01,378
You were around
337
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:03,424
towards the end of my drinking.
338
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:05,165
A lot of people were.
339
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:07,297
Paramedics, county sheriff,
animal control.
340
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,647
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
341
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:12,433
But with the benefit
of hindsight,
342
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,176
don'’t you think it'’s possible I
was just going through a phase?
343
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,655
A phase?
344
00:15:17,742 --> 00:15:19,135
You were on a
first-name basis
345
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:21,181
with the guy who
pumped your stomach.
346
00:15:21,268 --> 00:15:23,444
Oh, yeah-- Phil.
347
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,837
Ironic name.
348
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,622
Where'’s this going?
349
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,667
Are you thinking
of drinking again?
350
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,843
Well, maybe.
351
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,976
My friend'’s
drinking again,
352
00:15:34,063 --> 00:15:35,760
and she'’s doing great.
353
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:38,198
And look at you, you used
to smoke weed every day
354
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,504
and now you only do it
once in a while.
355
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:42,854
Yep, just nights
and weekends.
356
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,292
That'’s every day, but moving on.
357
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:48,991
You still put a tie on
every morning,
358
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:51,080
you sell cars,
you'’re a great dad.
359
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,864
You'’re thriving.
360
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,302
Those are the exact words
that my pot dealer used.
361
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,436
The thing is,
362
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,569
I think I could do that, too.
363
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,484
Oh, my God, no, Christy.
364
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,877
When you were drinking,
your life was a tire fire.
365
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,836
You'’d disappear
for days at a time.
366
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:11,231
And then to make things
worse, you'’d come home.
367
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,233
I know, but I thi...
368
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:16,105
Look. You can do
whatever you want.
369
00:16:16,192 --> 00:16:18,368
But I'’d really
hate for Roscoe
370
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,327
to ever see his
mom drunk again.
371
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:24,548
Low blow.
372
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:27,464
Christy, maybe you
haven'’t noticed,
373
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,337
but you'’re doing
pretty great, too.
374
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:31,468
Thanks.
375
00:16:31,555 --> 00:16:32,861
CANDACE:
Baxter?
376
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,167
Short leash.
377
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:35,429
[laughs]
Sorry.
378
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:43,263
[car engine starts]
379
00:16:48,137 --> 00:16:51,749
I just don'’t get why
we'’re apologizing to Regina.
380
00:16:51,836 --> 00:16:54,230
I mean, we tried to help her
and she told us to go to hell.
381
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:57,146
Well, maybe we should'’ve
left her alone.
382
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:59,105
She certainly
didn'’t ask for help.
383
00:16:59,192 --> 00:17:01,933
But if she ever does,
we'’ll be there for her.
384
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,501
Hey, Ghost of Christmas
Past, give it a rest.
385
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,722
Isn'’t it a little weird
just showing up
386
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,724
at her new place without a gift?
387
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:11,769
Should we stop and get her
a bottle of hooch?
388
00:17:11,856 --> 00:17:14,555
I'’m not stopping anywhere
on Christmas Eve.
389
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:18,907
Jill, those earrings are nice.
390
00:17:18,994 --> 00:17:20,909
Thank you!
391
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,955
Oh, my God!
392
00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,958
These are the most beautiful
earrings I'’ve ever seen.
393
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,439
I picked them out.
394
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,964
Happy housewarming/
Merry Christmas.
395
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,618
You really shouldn'’t
have done this.
396
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:36,403
They look so expensive.
397
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:39,145
They are.
398
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,277
We just wanted
to say we'’re sorry.
399
00:17:41,364 --> 00:17:44,933
We were way out of line to think
we knew what was best for you.
400
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,804
Even though we do.
401
00:17:46,891 --> 00:17:49,503
Ah, well, we should get going.
402
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,505
Christmas Eve.
403
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:54,334
You probably
have plans with your fella.
404
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:57,119
Actually, Marcus is out of town
visiting his folks.
405
00:17:57,206 --> 00:17:59,339
Why don'’t we order in
Chinese food,
406
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:01,123
and watch some sappy
Christmas movie?
407
00:18:01,210 --> 00:18:02,820
As much good as that sounds,
408
00:18:02,907 --> 00:18:04,996
we'’re going
to Wendy'’s loser dance.
409
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:07,434
Sober dance.
410
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:08,522
That'’s what I said.
411
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:12,656
You wouldn'’t want to...
412
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:14,615
I wouldn'’t.
413
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,052
But, hey, let'’s have
coffee next week.
414
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:18,227
Okay.
415
00:18:18,314 --> 00:18:19,489
BOTH:
Merry Christmas.
416
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,578
ALL:
Merry Christmas.
417
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:27,584
Well, she seems like she'’s
in a good place.
418
00:18:27,671 --> 00:18:29,325
Yeah, I'’m glad we did that.
419
00:18:29,412 --> 00:18:31,110
Me, too.
420
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,808
My ears are cold.
421
00:18:36,419 --> 00:18:41,294
♪ O holy night
422
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:46,037
♪ The stars are
brightly shining ♪
423
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,389
♪ It is the night
424
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:51,521
♪ Of our dear
425
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:54,524
♪ Savior'’s birth ♪
426
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:02,663
♪ Long lay the world
427
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:05,709
♪ In sin
428
00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:09,235
♪ And error pining
429
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:12,977
♪ Till he appeared
430
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:17,852
♪ And the soul felt its worth.
431
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,337
♪ And nothing else matters...
432
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:30,038
This is so much worse
than I thought it would be.
433
00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:34,347
Yeah, whose
genius idea was this?
434
00:19:36,305 --> 00:19:37,785
On the bright side,
three different people
435
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,439
brought Jell-O salad.
436
00:19:39,526 --> 00:19:41,745
One person brought
three different kinds
437
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:45,619
of Jell-O salad,
thank you very much.
438
00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:48,056
There are no cute guys here.
439
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,406
And they'’re ignoring us.
440
00:19:50,493 --> 00:19:53,061
You know what,
forget the guys.
441
00:19:53,148 --> 00:19:55,629
I'’m just happy
to spend here
442
00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,848
at Christmas Eve
with people I love.
443
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:01,069
I'’ll not drink to that.
444
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:02,549
Does anybody want to dance?
445
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,290
♪ Now you want to trip
446
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:06,117
♪ '’Cause another brother
noticed me ♪
447
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,250
♪ I'’m up on him, he up on me ♪
448
00:20:08,337 --> 00:20:10,513
♪ Don'’t pay him any attention ♪
449
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,037
♪ '’Cause I cried my tears
for three good years ♪
450
00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:15,562
♪ Ya can'’t be mad at me ♪
451
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,825
♪ '’Cause if you liked it, then
you should'’ve put a ring on it ♪
452
00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:20,306
♪ If you liked it, then you
should'’ve put a ring on it ♪
453
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:22,656
♪ Don'’t be mad once you see
that he want it ♪
454
00:20:22,743 --> 00:20:25,006
♪ If you liked it, then you
should'’ve put a ring on it... ♪
455
00:20:25,093 --> 00:20:29,315
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
456
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,839
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
32712
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