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1
00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,701
Mom, you'’re going
to college now, right?
2
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,311
Yes, I am, sweetie.
3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:09,139
Can you take
cooking classes there?
4
00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:14,318
I thought you liked
my tuna casserole.
5
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,625
It was better
when you made it drunk.
6
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:21,934
Roscoe, I made it
when she was drunk.
7
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,806
Oh.
8
00:00:23,893 --> 00:00:25,242
Mystery solved.
9
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,072
Sorry... [grunts]
10
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:31,074
You would not believe
11
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:33,859
what I snaked out of old lady
Gorman'’s shower drain.
12
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,035
Mom, please.
We'’re eating dinner.
13
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,037
And it'’s hard enough.
14
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:39,039
Fine.
15
00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,477
A hairball
with a human tooth in it.
16
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:46,829
I'’m gonna go do my homework.
17
00:00:46,916 --> 00:00:49,049
Congratulations.
18
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:51,747
You managed to gross out a boy
who keeps his boogers in a jar.
19
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,706
I need to get going, too.
20
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,882
Where you headed?
21
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,537
I'’m going to a birthday party
with Gregory.
22
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,974
Oh, Gregory... again.
23
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,020
Wow, that'’s been going on
a little while now, huh?
24
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:05,195
I guess.
25
00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:06,892
When do we get to meet him?
26
00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:08,851
Yeah, I'’d like to
meet young Gregory.
27
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,549
Yeah, I just don'’t see
any reason for that.
28
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:13,638
Oh, come on!
29
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,901
There'’s nothing to hide.
30
00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,034
Your last boyfriend was
a burger-flipping stoner
31
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:21,385
who got you pregnant--
the bar is very low.
32
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,605
Why are you so interested
in my life?
33
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,389
Are your own lives that boring?
34
00:01:25,476 --> 00:01:27,348
Yes. The most exciting thing
that happened to me today
35
00:01:27,435 --> 00:01:29,263
was a hairball with an overbite.
36
00:01:30,786 --> 00:01:31,874
Come on!
37
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:32,875
Tell me about him.
38
00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,181
I'’m a cool mom.
39
00:01:34,268 --> 00:01:36,444
I'’m hip, I'’m happening.
40
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:39,055
I got it going on.
41
00:01:39,142 --> 00:01:40,970
How were you ever a stripper?
42
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:47,150
Some men enjoyed my awkwardness.
43
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:49,587
Come on, what'’s
the deal with this guy?
44
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:51,285
Does he have, like,
a misshapen head?
45
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:53,852
Little tiny legs?
Lazy eye? Canadian...?
46
00:01:53,939 --> 00:01:56,159
"Canadian"?
47
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,205
That'’s the border
we should be watching.
48
00:01:59,858 --> 00:02:01,251
He'’s just a guy.
49
00:02:01,338 --> 00:02:03,035
Where'’d you meet him?At school.
50
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,298
So, he'’s a student.
51
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,560
God! What is with you guys?
52
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,083
Just... leave it alone.
53
00:02:07,170 --> 00:02:08,824
He'’s not a student.
54
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:10,217
Violet, you know
the kind of men
55
00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:11,914
your grandmother
and I have dated.
56
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:13,959
We are the last people
in the world to judge.
57
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,265
Am I right?Mm, absolutely.
58
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,267
You cannot shock us.
59
00:02:17,354 --> 00:02:18,660
All right.
60
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,705
He'’s a professor at my school.
61
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:23,055
And he'’s 42 years old.
62
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:29,932
I'’m calling the police.
63
00:02:48,516 --> 00:02:50,213
Mom, I'’m 19.
64
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,345
No one'’s doing anything wrong.
65
00:02:51,432 --> 00:02:52,911
Hang up the phone.
66
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:56,045
Then why were you
hiding this from us?
67
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:58,395
Because I was afraid
you might not handle it well.
68
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,571
Why would you think that?
My little girl is dating
69
00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:02,704
a man who'’s old enough
to be her father.
70
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,793
Why would that upset me?
It'’s just Jim friggin'’ Dandy!
71
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,274
Pssst!
72
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,884
You'’re not handling it well.
73
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,757
I'’m out of here.
74
00:03:12,844 --> 00:03:14,237
I don'’t believe it.
75
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:16,196
42 years old?
76
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:19,416
It'’d be less weird if
youwere dating him.
77
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,939
Look, I haven'’t seen him,
but if you want me
78
00:03:21,026 --> 00:03:22,898
to take a run at him, I will.
79
00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:27,816
Really not in the mood, Mom.
80
00:03:27,903 --> 00:03:30,340
It could be a lot worse.
Could be one of the losers
81
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:33,038
you dragged home
when you were a teenager.
82
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:35,606
He'’s old enough to be one of
the losers I dragged home.
83
00:03:35,693 --> 00:03:37,260
Yeah.
84
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,044
Look, the more a mother
fights a daughter
85
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:40,524
on who she chooses
for a boyfriend,
86
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,786
the more she'’ll run to him.
87
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,266
How do you know that?
88
00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:46,922
I point to your two children.
89
00:03:47,009 --> 00:03:49,838
And in the spirit of fairness,
I point to you, too.
90
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,672
[sighs]
Oh, God.
91
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,460
Relax. I just wanted
to apologize.
92
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:04,461
Really?
93
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:06,333
Come here, sit down.
94
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:07,812
Can we just do this
in the morning?
95
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,510
Damn it, Violet, sit down!
96
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,949
Please...?
97
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,169
Listen,
98
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,042
it'’s natural that I worry
99
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:23,001
some guy might be taking
advantage of you.
100
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:24,481
Where'’s the apology?
101
00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:26,440
It'’s coming.
102
00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:27,615
Better come soon.
103
00:04:27,702 --> 00:04:30,139
One sec.
104
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:35,362
[glass shattering]
105
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:38,147
Anyway...
106
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:43,021
...you and I both know
107
00:04:43,108 --> 00:04:45,067
that I wasn'’t
always there for you,
108
00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:47,199
so you got to forgive me
109
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,202
for being a little
overprotective now.
110
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,379
I get it.You do?
111
00:04:52,466 --> 00:04:54,119
Gregory explained
all this to me.
112
00:04:54,206 --> 00:04:56,078
He'’s a psychology
professor.
113
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:58,602
He actually did his doctoral
thesis on the damaging effects
114
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:00,430
of alcoholism on families,
115
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:03,172
so he gets that part, too.
116
00:05:05,130 --> 00:05:07,481
Well, isn'’t that just super.
117
00:05:07,568 --> 00:05:11,398
Oh, hey, what
are you guys doing up?
118
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:14,226
Oh, give me a break.
I heard you breathing up there.
119
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,707
Great, then I can
jump right in.
120
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:18,927
Why don'’t we invite Gregory
over for dinner?
121
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,885
Oh, no. He knows
I grew up in the circus,
122
00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:22,887
he doesn'’t need
to meet the clowns.
123
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:24,759
Honey, I promise,
124
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,848
your mom and I will
be on our best behavior.
125
00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:29,459
We'’ll make him
feel really welcome.
126
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,896
Well, he did say
he'’d like to meet you.
127
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:33,594
That'’s a good sign.
128
00:05:33,681 --> 00:05:35,552
You'’ll see.
He'’s a terrific guy
129
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,728
and I think he really
cares for me.
130
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,513
I'’m sure he does.
131
00:05:40,949 --> 00:05:43,430
Which brings up
the question:
132
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,954
Where are you
in the relationship?
133
00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:49,087
What'’s that supposed to mean?Are you plankin'’ him?
134
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,438
I'’m not talking
about this with you.
135
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:53,744
They'’re plankin'’.
136
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,572
I'’m going to bed now.
137
00:05:55,659 --> 00:05:58,053
Okay, but we'’re gonna
do the dinner, right?
138
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,446
Depends. Who'’s cooking?
139
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,926
She'’ll cook.I'’ll cook.
140
00:06:02,013 --> 00:06:04,799
All right, I'’ll set it up.
Night.
141
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,235
Night.Night.
142
00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:07,932
I still never
got my apology.
143
00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,891
Sorry.Too late.
144
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,765
Shall we?Ugh.
145
00:06:14,852 --> 00:06:16,767
I can'’t go to bed after that.
146
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,290
The second I close my eyes
147
00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:19,770
I'’ll be picturing
Richard Dreyfuss
148
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,207
showering with my daughter.
149
00:06:22,294 --> 00:06:24,122
Thanks.
150
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,081
Now I'’m not sleeping either.
151
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,040
Ugh.
Ooh.
152
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:34,481
Wow, so he'’s
older than me?Yup.
153
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:37,614
Man, I don'’t know whether to
be disgusted or impressed.
154
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:38,963
You'’re disgusted.
155
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,618
I can be both.
156
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:43,794
Do we have four
matching dinner plates?
157
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,405
That'’s what
you'’re worried about?
158
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:47,407
Your kids don'’t
have matching fathers.
159
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,411
Mind if I stick around
and meet him?
160
00:06:51,498 --> 00:06:52,934
Yeah, actually, I do.
161
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,588
Take the kid
that is yours and go.
162
00:06:54,675 --> 00:06:56,503
Whatever.
163
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,635
All right, let'’s hit it.
164
00:06:58,722 --> 00:06:59,984
[laughing]
165
00:07:00,071 --> 00:07:01,203
Oh...
166
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:04,424
Hey!
167
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,123
Hey, Baxter.
This is Gregory.
168
00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:11,953
Gregory, this is my little
brother Roscoe and Roscoe'’s dad.
169
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,303
Hi.Hi, nice to meet you.
170
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,914
Nice to meet you, too.
171
00:07:19,743 --> 00:07:22,006
Okay.
172
00:07:22,093 --> 00:07:24,182
We'’ll be on our way.
173
00:07:24,269 --> 00:07:27,316
Oh, just a heads up--
as Violet'’s former stepfather,
174
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,578
I'’m keeping my eye on you.
175
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,146
But as a bystanding dude,
176
00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:33,104
I tip my cap.
177
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:39,154
Let'’s go.You'’re not
wearing a cap.
178
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,199
Not her usual type.
179
00:07:41,286 --> 00:07:44,855
Looks like her usual type'’s
parole officer.
180
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:47,641
It'’s still not too late to run.
181
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,469
[laughs]
I'’m fine.
182
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:50,687
Where can I hang this?
183
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,428
The closet'’s back there,
184
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:53,995
but that'’s where
my little brother sleeps.
185
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,345
What?
186
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:58,695
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
187
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,655
Welcome.Welcome.
188
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,657
Yeah, okay.
189
00:08:03,744 --> 00:08:07,095
Mom, Grandma, this is Gregory.
190
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,010
Oh, it is so nice
to meet you.
191
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,272
Nice to meet you, too.
192
00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,752
Please, sit down.
193
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:13,884
Thanks.Would you like a glass of wine?
194
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:16,365
Really? You keep wine
in the house?
195
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,889
We don'’t drink, but we got
a nice Chardonnay for you.
196
00:08:18,976 --> 00:08:20,108
Thanks, I'’ll have a glass.
197
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,892
Me, too.
198
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,503
Oh, honey, you'’re not
old enough to drink.
199
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,374
She'’s not old
enough to drink.
200
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,551
Why don'’t I get the booze?
201
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,901
So, uh,
202
00:08:30,988 --> 00:08:33,687
Violet tells us you teach
at the junior college.
203
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,906
Yes, I do. Psychology.
204
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,952
Well, then we have
something in common.
205
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,780
I'’m a certified life coach.
206
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,652
C... Certified?
Oh, that'’s fabulous,
207
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,262
because, you know,
there are so many
208
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:47,570
fly-by-night life coaches.
209
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,093
Hey, Gregory?
You didn'’t happen
210
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:51,531
to bring your own
corkscrew, did you?
211
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,102
So after my mom
had the stroke,
212
00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,888
I took a year off of grad school
to take care of her,
213
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:03,586
which I thought
was gonna be hard,
214
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,109
uh, but it turned
into this
215
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:07,634
wonderful experience, because
216
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:10,027
we got to know each other
as adults.
217
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,899
And that was
218
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,770
a priceless gift.
219
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:15,598
That'’s beautiful.
220
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,558
She would never
do that for me.
221
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,082
She'’s right.
222
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,605
Well, this was fun.
223
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,259
I'’m gonna grab our coats.
224
00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:26,957
Oh, so soon?
225
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:29,264
You wanted to meet him,
you met him, now say good-bye.
226
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:32,267
Uh, be right there.
227
00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:35,487
Listen, I just want to say...
228
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,925
I get that you have your
misgivings about me.
229
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:39,883
If I was in your
position, I would feel
230
00:09:39,970 --> 00:09:41,798
the exact same way.
231
00:09:41,885 --> 00:09:44,409
But you have to know
I wasn'’t looking for this.
232
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:45,672
I'’m not the guy
233
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,021
who dates younger women.
234
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:49,153
But we just...
235
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,373
made a connection.
236
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,941
And I want to reassure you
237
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:57,379
that I care deeply
about Violet.
238
00:09:59,207 --> 00:10:00,904
Okay, well,
thank you.Yeah, okay.
239
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,125
You ready?
240
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,127
Yeah.Oh, uh,
241
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:07,911
why don'’t you
take the wine,
242
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,958
since we can'’t drink it.
243
00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,047
Or open it.
244
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,658
Thanks again,
this was really great.
245
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:16,833
Good night.
246
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,879
CHRISTY:
Bye.
247
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:22,839
[door closes]
248
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:25,363
I have a terrible
confession to make.
249
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:27,061
What?[sighs]
250
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:30,325
I like him better
than I like her.
251
00:10:30,412 --> 00:10:32,632
I like him better
than I like you.
252
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:43,381
Seriously?
You left me a to-do list?
253
00:10:43,468 --> 00:10:45,122
I'’ve got an hour
to do my homework
254
00:10:45,209 --> 00:10:47,081
before I run to the restaurant.
255
00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:49,692
Who else is gonna vacuum, clean
the bathroom, sort the laundry?
256
00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,041
Hey, I'’m not your wife.
257
00:10:51,128 --> 00:10:53,217
You sure about that?
258
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,176
I go out there
and earn a living,
259
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,526
we sleep in the same bed
and don'’t have sex.
260
00:10:57,613 --> 00:11:00,660
Maybe I am your wife.
261
00:11:02,270 --> 00:11:04,751
I'’m not staying.
262
00:11:04,838 --> 00:11:06,143
What do you mean
you'’re not staying?
263
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,754
I haven'’t seen you for a week.
264
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,756
Yeah, well,
after I grab a few of my things,
265
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,148
you won'’t see me
for another week.
266
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,760
[sighs]
267
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,720
You'’re just gonna stand there?
268
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:19,461
You'’re not gonna say anything?
269
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,811
Hey, you'’re the man
of the house.
270
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:28,078
So, what'’s the deal?
271
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:29,906
You living with
Professor Higgins now?
272
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,386
His last name is Munchnik.
273
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:32,604
[with British accent]:
By George,
274
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,389
she doesn'’t get the reference.
275
00:11:34,476 --> 00:11:36,608
Violet, I just want to
know what'’s going on.
276
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,437
You'’ve been spending a
lot of time over there.
277
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:41,439
Why wouldn'’t I?
His condo'’s great.
278
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,398
Plus, he'’s got a gym
in the building
279
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:45,095
and underground parking.
280
00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:47,097
Oh, and he has a housekeeper.
281
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,926
We have a housekeeper.
282
00:11:50,013 --> 00:11:53,843
Careful or you'’re sleeping
on the couch tonight.
283
00:11:53,930 --> 00:11:56,106
And you also
really like him, right?
284
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,368
Um,
285
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,327
yeah, he'’s cool.
286
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:01,633
Honey, you don'’t live
with a guy because he'’s cool.
287
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,984
You live with him because
you have feelings for him.
288
00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,595
Is that what you guys did
when you were my age?
289
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,379
She always goes to that.
290
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:10,468
It is the smart play.
291
00:12:10,555 --> 00:12:12,949
Sweetheart, I'’m...
292
00:12:13,036 --> 00:12:14,255
I'’m just
a little worried that...
293
00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,300
Mom, relax.
294
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,781
We'’re just having fun,
and Gregory is crazy about me.
295
00:12:18,868 --> 00:12:20,652
I know heis,
296
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,959
but I want to hear that
you'’re crazy about him, too,
297
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,092
that you'’re not settling.
298
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:27,442
Fine. I'’m crazy about him.
He'’s the man of my dreams.
299
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:28,704
See you later.
300
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,188
[sighs]
301
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:37,452
Wow. You and I are more
in love than they are.
302
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:43,545
I gotta tell ya...
I miss Violet being here,
303
00:12:43,632 --> 00:12:47,201
but I swear I'’ve gotten taller
since she moved out.
304
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:49,029
That'’s because you'’re
not hunched over.
305
00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:51,074
You'’re not walking scared.
306
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:53,511
You know what I noticed?
Ever since she left,
307
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:55,644
my bowels have gone
from irritable to delightful.
308
00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,083
Just so nice to have a
break from her sneering mug
309
00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:02,520
looking at me across
the dinner table.
310
00:13:02,607 --> 00:13:04,696
All because
you committed the terrible sin
311
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,047
of asking how her day was.
312
00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:09,005
It'’s kind of like this, right?
313
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,880
That'’s good.
314
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:16,621
She always looks like
she smells something bad.
315
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:20,843
[laughs]
316
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,366
Don'’t get me wrong.
I love her.
317
00:13:22,453 --> 00:13:24,847
Oh, I love her, too.
318
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,807
But it feels like
some sort of demonic spirit
319
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:30,070
has been exorcised
from the apartment.
320
00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,941
And we didn'’t even need
a Catholic priest.
321
00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,814
Turns out we needed
a Jewish psychology professor.
322
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,511
L'’chaim.
323
00:13:41,646 --> 00:13:43,605
[sighs contentedly]
324
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:46,695
You know, it just occurred to me
that her bedroom'’s empty.
325
00:13:46,782 --> 00:13:48,392
That'’s true.
326
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:51,526
So, what are we doing here?
327
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:54,007
You'’re right. Get down there.
328
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,356
You get down there.
329
00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,661
I like having my own bathroom.
330
00:13:56,748 --> 00:13:57,793
I'’ll flip you for it.
331
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,972
I don'’t trust
that commemorative coin.
332
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,979
[quietly]:
Oh, damn it.
333
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,118
Move over.
What happened?
334
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:20,033
Roscoe'’s smarter
than both of us.
335
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:26,039
He didn'’t give any hints
over the phone?
336
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:28,563
No, just said
it was important,
337
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:32,088
and he wanted to
talk to us in person.
338
00:14:32,175 --> 00:14:34,961
You don'’t think he wants
to return Violet, do you?
339
00:14:35,048 --> 00:14:37,615
Doesn'’t matter.
He'’s had her for 30 days.
340
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,574
We don'’t have
to take her back.
341
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,754
All right, well, let'’s go
hear what he has to say.
342
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,582
Stand up straight.
343
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:53,196
Here we go.
[gentle laugh]
344
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:54,937
This really wasn'’t necessary.
345
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:57,418
Don'’t be silly.
You'’re Violet'’s boyfriend.
346
00:14:57,505 --> 00:14:59,768
Right?
347
00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:01,726
Right.
348
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,511
[clears throat]
349
00:15:05,556 --> 00:15:08,646
So, what did you want
to talk about?
350
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:12,259
Well, you both know
how amazing Violet is.
351
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,440
Sure.
Okay.
352
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:21,572
So it'’ll come
as no surprise to you
353
00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:25,011
when I tell you
how much I love her.
354
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:27,491
We love her, too.Yeah, we love her.
355
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:31,104
And the reason I wanted
to speak with you guys was
356
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,497
to get your blessing.
357
00:15:33,584 --> 00:15:35,456
I'’d like to marry your daughter.
358
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,808
BOTH:
Is she pregnant?
359
00:15:39,895 --> 00:15:42,158
No!
360
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,856
Then why do you want
to marry her?
361
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:45,945
Mom!
362
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,685
[clears her throat]
363
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,687
Sorry. You kind of
caught us off guard.
364
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,907
It'’s okay.
I know it'’s sudden.
365
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:55,389
Um, before we
give our blessing,
366
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:57,260
I just have
one question.
367
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,306
Really? I have eight.
368
00:16:01,743 --> 00:16:05,834
Do you understand what it means
to be a 19-year-old girl?
369
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:09,577
How... unformed her thinking is?
370
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:12,406
That'’s one of the things
I love about her.
371
00:16:12,493 --> 00:16:15,626
She'’s not jaded, she sees
the world with fresh eyes.
372
00:16:15,713 --> 00:16:18,673
Wait'’ll you see those eyes when
you drink the last Diet Snapple.
373
00:16:20,892 --> 00:16:22,416
Don'’t worry.
374
00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,418
I'’ll never do anything
to upset her.
375
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:28,248
Oh, if only that
were possible.
376
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:32,382
So, do I take that as a "yes,"
I have your permission?
377
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:35,255
Gregory, I appreciate
you coming to us,
378
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,300
but it'’s really
not our call.
379
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:40,564
Yeah, Violet might not be as
ready to settle down as you are.
380
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,393
I hear you.
381
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:46,353
I just can'’t help
the way I feel.
382
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,051
I'’m desperately in love.
383
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:51,401
Oh, you poor bastard.
384
00:16:51,488 --> 00:16:53,360
Bring it in.
385
00:16:56,624 --> 00:16:58,669
ROSCOE:
No, I got here first.
It'’s myroom.
386
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,281
CHRISTY:
Okay, here'’s a fun idea.
387
00:17:01,368 --> 00:17:03,892
What if we put a tent
in the living room,
388
00:17:03,979 --> 00:17:06,155
and you could pretend
you'’re camping every night?
389
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,114
ROSCOE:
What am I, seven?
390
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,685
[chuckling]:
That was pathetic.
391
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,602
What'’s pathetic is I
have to return a tent.
392
00:17:18,689 --> 00:17:20,039
[laughing]
393
00:17:21,692 --> 00:17:22,911
Hey.
394
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,565
Hey.
395
00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:26,262
What brings you by?
396
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:28,264
I needed to talk to you guys.
397
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:30,571
About?
398
00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:33,791
Last night at dinner,
Gregory proposed to me.
399
00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:37,404
Yeah, he mentioned
he might do that.
400
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,188
What did you say?
401
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:40,668
Did you let
him down easy?
402
00:17:40,755 --> 00:17:43,932
Well, I was going to...
403
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:47,066
but then he showed me this
awesome ring, and I said "yes!"
404
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:55,248
I am going be
Mrs. Gregory Munchnik.
405
00:17:59,426 --> 00:18:00,775
Hello?
406
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,517
Your daughter just got engaged.
407
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,953
This is good news.
408
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,607
Yeah, sure, it'’s good...
409
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:07,782
[clears her throat]
410
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,131
...if this is what you want.
411
00:18:09,218 --> 00:18:11,612
Why wouldn'’t it be?
412
00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:14,789
God, my housekeeper was happier
for me than you two are.
413
00:18:14,876 --> 00:18:16,704
Honey, this
is a big step.
414
00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:19,272
We just want to know that
you'’ve thought this through.
415
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,491
Yeah, is this the guy
you'’re gonna be with forever?
416
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,580
Well, I doubt it'’ll be forever,
417
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:26,714
but for a first marriage,
he'’s pretty perfect.
418
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:31,545
Come here.
[clears her throat]
419
00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,851
I'’m just worried
420
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:37,028
you'’re marrying a man
you'’re not really in love with.
421
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,466
Were you in love
with Baxter or my dad?
422
00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,032
Yes.
423
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,904
And how did that
work out for you?
424
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,127
Sometimes I just
hate this kid.
425
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,696
Violet, marriage
is hard enough
426
00:18:52,783 --> 00:18:54,655
when you'’re desperately
in love with each other
427
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,961
and you think it'’s
never gonna end,
428
00:18:57,048 --> 00:19:00,182
but going into it knowing
it'’s doomed is just so...
429
00:19:00,269 --> 00:19:01,401
Realistic?
430
00:19:01,488 --> 00:19:04,012
I was gonna say "sad."
431
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:06,275
What is so bad about this?
432
00:19:06,362 --> 00:19:10,279
I have someone who loves me
and wants to take care of me,
433
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:11,976
and it'’s good for you guys
434
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,370
because I'’m no longer
a problem for you anymore.
435
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,198
Violet, you were never
a problem.
436
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:19,897
Yeah, we say all the time
how much we love you.
437
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:21,899
There'’s the face.
There'’s the face.
438
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:27,296
Trust me, I know
what I'’m doing.
439
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,085
[sighs]
440
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,131
Oh, God.
441
00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:38,089
You have to let
her live her life.
442
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,874
She'’s a grown woman.
443
00:19:39,961 --> 00:19:41,397
VIOLET:
Mom!
444
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:45,793
Roscoe threw out
all my teddy bears!
445
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,361
Now we know what to get her
as a wedding gift.
446
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:59,198
Whatcha doin'’?
447
00:19:59,285 --> 00:20:01,156
Working on my
dating profile.
448
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,636
eHarmony? Match?
449
00:20:02,723 --> 00:20:04,203
Senior-Mingle.
450
00:20:04,290 --> 00:20:06,509
You'’re kidding.
451
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,076
Maybe Violet'’s on to something.
452
00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,078
Oh, God,
you can'’t be that desperate.
453
00:20:10,165 --> 00:20:11,775
Check out some
of these old dudes.
454
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,342
This one'’s 82 years old.
455
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:15,039
He'’s got a beach house
in Hawaii,
456
00:20:15,126 --> 00:20:16,998
a brownstone in San
Francisco, and look here--
457
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,695
under special skills:
458
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:20,306
"Can drive at night."
459
00:20:20,393 --> 00:20:21,698
[laughs]
460
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,526
Slide over.
461
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:24,962
I'’m gonna give him a poke.
462
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:27,835
Careful you don'’t
break his hip.
463
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,880
Ooh! Take a look
at this silver fox.
464
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:31,404
Mm.
465
00:20:31,491 --> 00:20:33,884
22,000 square foot
home in Carmel.
466
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,365
"Enjoys short walks
on the beach."
[laughs]
467
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:41,457
Ah, just so we'’re clear,
you'’re giving up on love?
468
00:20:41,544 --> 00:20:43,938
I'’ve had love.
I want a housekeeper.
33026
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