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1
00:00:02,089 --> 00:00:04,395
[Christy and Bonnie gasping]
2
00:00:04,482 --> 00:00:06,615
Look, there are
its little fingers.
3
00:00:06,702 --> 00:00:08,834
One, two, three, four, five,
one, two, three, four, five.
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,793
Yes!
5
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:12,012
I can't wait till you're born!
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,970
That's 'cause you don't have
7
00:00:14,057 --> 00:00:15,841
to squeeze it out
through your hoo-hah.
8
00:00:15,928 --> 00:00:18,148
So, Doc,
how we looking?
9
00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:20,455
Healthy kid, or is it
gonna need a crash helmet?
10
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,239
Everything
looks great.
11
00:00:22,326 --> 00:00:23,936
You're right on schedule,
six weeks out.
12
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,590
Hey, we might still
13
00:00:25,677 --> 00:00:27,984
be able to go to Senior Prom.
14
00:00:28,071 --> 00:00:29,899
Think you can watch the baby?
15
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,118
You're joking,
right?
16
00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:33,207
The kid'll
still be wet.
17
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,036
You're right.
18
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,472
We'll bring it.
19
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,651
These two are gonna
make great parents.
20
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,174
I've seen
worse.
21
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:46,524
Would you like
to know the sex?
Well...
22
00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:47,786
I think it's
pretty obvious.
23
00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:49,484
It's a boy and
he's going to be
24
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,094
very popular
with the ladies.
25
00:00:51,181 --> 00:00:54,315
Actually, that's
the umbilical cord.
26
00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,925
Oh...
Oh...
27
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,145
We'd like to know.
28
00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,146
Um, maybe not.
29
00:00:59,233 --> 00:01:00,756
How come?
30
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:04,064
Knowing the sex makes
this all too... real.
31
00:01:04,151 --> 00:01:06,153
It's not real
enough for you?
32
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,024
You've been farting
like a lumberjack.
33
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,247
We don't really need
to know right now.
34
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:15,075
Okay, I'll see you
again in ten days.
35
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:17,164
Ooh, well...
36
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:19,166
We've got a lot
to do to get
37
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:20,819
the house ready
for our new guest.
38
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,430
Guest?
39
00:01:22,517 --> 00:01:23,561
You make it sound like
we're just visiting.
40
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,259
Well, a girl can hope.
41
00:01:28,697 --> 00:01:32,614
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
42
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:43,320
Thanks for helping
out, Baxter.
43
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:44,495
My pleasure.
44
00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,018
Always happy when my van is used
45
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,499
to transport legal stuff.
46
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:50,458
What else you
got in there?
47
00:01:50,545 --> 00:01:53,200
Amigos.
48
00:01:54,766 --> 00:01:56,551
Uno momento,
por favor.
49
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,816
Seriously?
50
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:03,035
You're moving
illegal aliens?
51
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,820
Don't be
ridiculous.
52
00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,778
They're
drug mules.
53
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,042
What's going on?
54
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,783
Your grandmother
and I got you a crib.
55
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:12,871
What do you think?
56
00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:14,960
Looks like
a little cage.
57
00:02:15,047 --> 00:02:16,136
It is a
little cage.
58
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,050
Mom.
59
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,487
When your mother
was an infant,
60
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:21,184
I kept her in
a cat carrier.
61
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,013
Well, whatever.
62
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,319
I don't like it.
63
00:02:25,406 --> 00:02:28,496
Okay, you're
welcome.
64
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:32,195
Was I that grumpy
when I was pregnant?
65
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:34,502
Oh-ho-ho, I am not
falling for that.
66
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:37,069
Good day,
madam.
67
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,767
Thanks, Baxter.
68
00:02:38,854 --> 00:02:40,160
I'm gonna make some tea,
you want some?
69
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,031
What I want is a daughter
70
00:02:42,118 --> 00:02:45,382
who is a little bit excited
about having a baby.
71
00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:47,428
Oh, you got to cut her
some slack, she's scared.
72
00:02:47,515 --> 00:02:49,604
Yeah, I get
that, but...
73
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,953
we're in the
home stretch
74
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,998
and she is in
complete denial.
75
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,653
You know, she bought
a tube top the other day.
76
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,134
I do not want to see that.
77
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:01,790
I know she's young,
78
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:03,444
I know she's scared,
79
00:03:03,531 --> 00:03:04,488
but come on, it's not like
80
00:03:04,575 --> 00:03:06,098
she's doing
this alone.
81
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,231
What if we threw her
a baby shower?
82
00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,841
Let her see we're all
in this together?
83
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,234
Wow.
84
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,888
That's not
a bad idea.
85
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,064
You know, invite some
friends from school,
86
00:03:15,151 --> 00:03:17,197
eat cake, play games...
87
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:21,505
all the things I wish
somebody did for me.
88
00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:24,334
I am really sorry.
89
00:03:24,421 --> 00:03:27,337
It just... it kills me
that I wasn't there for you.
90
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:28,860
Wow.
91
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,558
I didn't expect you
to cop to it.
92
00:03:30,645 --> 00:03:32,081
I'm not copping
to anything.
93
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,649
It's just the quickest
way to shut you up.
94
00:03:34,736 --> 00:03:35,563
Mom! Grandma!
95
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:38,087
Look, I'm in jail!
96
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,178
I'd laugh if I didn't think
it was a real possibility.
97
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:52,536
All right, make sure the oil
in the deep fryer is changed,
98
00:03:52,623 --> 00:03:55,278
and I want the walk-in
cleaned from top to bottom.
99
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,280
And I could do
without the look.
100
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,762
Uh, hey, Chef Rudy,
you got a minute?
101
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:01,893
Oh, make it quick.
102
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,330
I'm sleeping with a food critic,
103
00:04:03,417 --> 00:04:05,636
and he throws a hissy fit
if I'm late.
104
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:08,291
Wait, when did you start eating
105
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,641
from the other side
of the buffet?
106
00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:13,992
When I realized there was
a four-star review in his pants.
107
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:16,430
What do
you need?
108
00:04:16,517 --> 00:04:18,214
Well, I'm throwing a baby shower
for my daughter, and I...
109
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,912
Speak quickly. I'm bored.
110
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,697
And I'm kind of
strapped for cash,
111
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,438
so I was hoping you could
hook me up with some food.
112
00:04:24,525 --> 00:04:27,092
You want me to help you
steal from the restaurant?
113
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,269
Just the stuff that's left over.
114
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,271
That's the stuff
I usually steal.
115
00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,664
Oh, come on.
116
00:04:33,751 --> 00:04:35,187
All right.
117
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,145
Lucky for you,
I need an empty stomach
118
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,278
for what I'm about to do.
119
00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:45,285
But, um, how does a-- ah--
120
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,112
a shrimp platter, carpaccio,
and, uh-- ah--
121
00:04:47,199 --> 00:04:49,289
crème brûlée sound?
122
00:04:49,376 --> 00:04:50,290
Oh. Thank you.
123
00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:52,466
Oh, no, no,
no, no, no.
124
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,729
Don't... don't confuse
my naughty parts.
125
00:04:56,600 --> 00:05:00,387
I have to go ride
a 300-pound Frenchman.
126
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,262
Wow, you scored.
127
00:05:06,349 --> 00:05:09,178
Yeah, Rudy really
came through.
128
00:05:09,265 --> 00:05:11,789
Did you know that
he swung both ways?
129
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:13,791
No, but when we slept together,
130
00:05:13,878 --> 00:05:14,923
he did ask me to do a few things
131
00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,751
that were a little suspect.
132
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,929
It does make me nervous,
133
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,540
having to beg food
for a baby shower.
134
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:25,063
I mean, how are we
gonna make ends meet
135
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:26,064
when the kid actually gets here?
136
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,762
Well, that's a tough one.
137
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:29,329
Maybe you could get
a second job.
138
00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:37,206
Or maybe you could get
a first one.
139
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:39,469
What are you talking about?
140
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:40,949
I have my life coaching
business.
141
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:43,647
Oh, please,
you've had two clients.
142
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,257
One paid you with used luggage
143
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,217
and the other one stepped
in front of a train.
144
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,350
That did teach me
to get paid in advance.
145
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,617
I really need you
to pitch in, Mom.
146
00:05:56,704 --> 00:05:58,140
All right,
all right.
147
00:05:58,227 --> 00:05:59,620
Maybe I'll open my
law practice again.
148
00:05:59,707 --> 00:06:01,143
You're not a lawyer!
149
00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,363
Well, I wasn't a health
inspector either,
150
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,494
but restaurants paid
me a lot of money
151
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,714
to look the
other way.
152
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:13,677
Typing
skills?
153
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:15,723
Two fingers.
154
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,248
This one.
155
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,381
And, oddly enough, this one.
156
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:26,168
Aha.
157
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,343
Excel?
158
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:30,128
At what?
159
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,870
The computer program
called Excel.
160
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:33,915
Of course.
161
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,960
Yes, love me some Excel.
162
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:38,659
How are your phone skills?
163
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,138
Let me see.
164
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,139
Hello?
165
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,314
[clicks tongue]
166
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,317
I think you have your answer.
167
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:49,017
How about a 52-line PBX system
with direct inward calling?
168
00:06:49,104 --> 00:06:50,540
That's what I'm talkin' about.
169
00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,456
While I'm typing.
170
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:03,466
All right.
171
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:04,946
Thanks for coming in.
172
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,426
We'll contact you
if anything comes up.
173
00:07:06,513 --> 00:07:08,253
Oh, that doesn't sound
very encouraging.
174
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,690
Ms. Plunkett...
175
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:11,300
You see these résumés?
176
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,084
These are all people
with advanced degrees
177
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,956
and I can't
find them work.
178
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:16,827
They sit in that box until
I bring them home to Mother
179
00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:18,438
so she can do her
sudoku on the back.
180
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:20,309
Well, maybe the problem is...
181
00:07:20,396 --> 00:07:22,354
Wait, you live with your mother?
182
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,226
I have my own entrance.
183
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,186
Uh, let me ask you...
184
00:07:28,273 --> 00:07:30,406
this employment agency deal,
185
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:31,799
this isn't what
you really wanted
186
00:07:31,886 --> 00:07:32,669
to do with your life, is it?
187
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,410
[scoffs]
God, no.
188
00:07:37,282 --> 00:07:39,415
I wanted to write
a Broadway musical.
189
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:40,503
Interesting.
190
00:07:40,590 --> 00:07:41,504
What stopped you?
191
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:45,073
It's really hard.
192
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,295
That's not it.
193
00:07:50,382 --> 00:07:51,732
What stopped you is
194
00:07:51,819 --> 00:07:53,342
you had no one guiding you,
195
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,649
no one encouraging you.
196
00:07:55,736 --> 00:07:57,999
Well, Mother tries,
197
00:07:58,086 --> 00:07:59,740
but ever since the stroke,
198
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,177
she's got her own problems.
199
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:05,310
I can help.
200
00:08:05,397 --> 00:08:06,573
You can?
Mm-hmm.
201
00:08:06,660 --> 00:08:08,052
I didn't want to say anything
202
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,967
because it's
intimidating to people,
203
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:11,316
but I'm a certified life coach.
204
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,883
Really?
Mm-hmm.
205
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,363
Where did you get
your certification?
206
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:17,845
The Katzenjammer
Life Coaching Institute
207
00:08:17,932 --> 00:08:19,890
in Geneva, Switzerland.
208
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,634
Wow.
209
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,549
I don't want to
give you false hope,
210
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,420
but I've had a tremendous amount
of success with composers.
211
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,945
Really? Like who?
212
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,207
You know Andrew Lloyd Webber?
213
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,121
[gasps] I do.
214
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,252
You're welcome.
215
00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:35,253
Wow.
216
00:08:35,340 --> 00:08:36,254
Before
I came along,
217
00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:37,908
Evita was singing,
218
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:40,476
"Don't cry for me, West Covina."
219
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:43,653
Amazing.
220
00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:45,437
So... so... so
how do we do this?
221
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,569
Well, um...
222
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,092
I, uh... oh!
223
00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:50,007
I've got an opening
Wednesday night at 8:00.
224
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:54,098
Ooh, Wednesdays
Mother and I watch Idol.
225
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,100
Are you listening to yourself?
226
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,886
Those people on American Idol
are chasing greatness.
227
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:00,757
All you're doing
is watching them.
228
00:09:00,844 --> 00:09:02,498
Sometimes I vote.
229
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:07,459
I'll see you
Wednesday.
230
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,635
Um...
231
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:10,724
do I get some kind of discount
232
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:11,855
if I pre-pay for
a bunch of sessions?
233
00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,944
Do you have the cash on you now?
234
00:09:14,031 --> 00:09:14,989
No.Then no.
235
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,688
And that's how it's done.
236
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,562
[door opens]
237
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,347
Hey.
Hey.
238
00:09:25,434 --> 00:09:27,088
What you got going on there?
239
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,003
I'm making a little
princess tiara
240
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:30,613
for Violet to wear
at her baby shower.
241
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,659
Aw, it's so precious
when you overcompensate
242
00:09:32,746 --> 00:09:36,706
for being a drunken loser
when she was a kid.
243
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,534
How does it work?
244
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,581
Do you just sense when
I'm feeling good about myself?
245
00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,104
I'm sorry.
246
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,279
This is so sweet.
247
00:09:44,366 --> 00:09:45,933
Thank you.
248
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,499
I just want to give my
daughter the best day ever.
249
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:48,979
Well, how about
250
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,241
I give my daughter
the best day ever?
251
00:09:50,328 --> 00:09:52,461
I just got a
paying client.
252
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:53,984
Shut up.
253
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:55,551
Yep. A real
Norman Bates.
254
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,512
I think his mother might
actually be stuffed.
255
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:03,037
Hey.
256
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,691
Honey, look,
I'm making you a tiara.
257
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:08,608
Nice. Listen, I decided
I don't want to have a party.
258
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,088
What are you talking about?
259
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,960
It's a celebration!
260
00:10:13,047 --> 00:10:15,658
It's fun and games and
free stuff for the baby.
261
00:10:15,745 --> 00:10:17,268
I don't need it.
262
00:10:17,355 --> 00:10:19,967
Sweetheart, I'm stealing food
from the restaurant.
263
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:21,795
Believe me, we need it.
264
00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,753
No, we don't.
265
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:29,019
Okay. May I ask why?
266
00:10:29,106 --> 00:10:31,631
I decided to give
the baby up for adoption.
267
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:51,215
I feel like someone
just punched me in the heart.
268
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:54,523
Did not see that coming.
269
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,703
Damn it,
this is ridiculous!
270
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:01,661
No, Christy, wait.
271
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,053
No, no, no. She's wrong.
272
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,620
I am not gonna let this happen.
273
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:06,753
We need to talk about this.
274
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,537
There's nothing
to talk about.
275
00:11:08,624 --> 00:11:09,973
The hell there isn't!
Look, I know you're scared.
276
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,583
I'd be worried about
you if you weren't,
277
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,324
but that's no reason to
give up on this baby.
278
00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,499
Christy, calm down.
279
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:15,892
Do not tell me to calm down!
280
00:11:15,979 --> 00:11:19,330
Why? Tell me why
you're doing this.
281
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:20,941
That's my business.
282
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:22,246
No, it's not!
283
00:11:22,333 --> 00:11:23,030
We're all in this together.
284
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,205
Now tell me!
285
00:11:24,292 --> 00:11:28,122
Okay. I don't want to be you.
286
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,255
You're talking
to your mother, right?
287
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,257
I'm talking to both of you.
288
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,172
You had her when
you were my age,
289
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,871
you had me when you were my age.
I do the same thing,
290
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,699
I'm gonna wind up with the same
wasted life as you.
291
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:43,833
You think I wasted my life?
292
00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,096
Mom, you're a 35-year-old
ex-alcoholic,
293
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,576
you're all alone,
and you're waiting tables.
294
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,534
I'm a certified
life coach.
295
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:51,623
Oh, give it a rest.
296
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,539
Hey, first of all, I
happen to like my life
297
00:11:54,626 --> 00:11:57,412
and I love my children
and I love my job.
298
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,413
What about me?
299
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,849
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
300
00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,633
So don't tell me
I wasted my life!
301
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,505
Okay. I just mean
that I want more.
302
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,637
I want to go to school,
I want a career!
303
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:06,682
You can still have
all of those things.
304
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:09,467
Wait. Let me finish.
305
00:12:09,554 --> 00:12:12,949
And I want this baby to have
a chance at all of that, too.
306
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,691
Wow.
307
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,871
I don't know what to say.
308
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,133
Excuse me.
309
00:12:25,701 --> 00:12:28,617
I am doing the right thing.
310
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:30,401
I did not say a word.
311
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:34,405
Well, will you please talk
to her?
312
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:37,017
Of course.
313
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,891
What does Luke say about this?
314
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,852
He doesn't know yet.
315
00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,636
Really?
316
00:12:47,723 --> 00:12:49,681
You have any advice?
317
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,906
Maybe I'm not a life coach.
318
00:13:09,745 --> 00:13:11,965
Crème brûlée?
319
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:12,704
Thanks.
320
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,841
I really want a
drink right now.
321
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,800
Shut up.
You got pudding.
322
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:23,324
If she's gonna put that
baby up for adoption,
323
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,934
I'll adopt it.
324
00:13:25,021 --> 00:13:27,328
Oh, that won't make things
awkward at Thanksgiving.
325
00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:30,200
"Violet, honey,
please pass the peas
to your sister-daughter."
326
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:33,116
You don't understand.
327
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:35,771
This was supposed to be
our... do-over baby.
328
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:38,905
Do-over baby?
329
00:13:38,992 --> 00:13:41,995
Yeah...
330
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:44,649
a chance to get things right.
331
00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:47,261
You know, to fix all
the mistakes you made.
332
00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:48,784
What about all the mistakes
you made?
333
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,699
I made them because of you!
334
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,919
I was abandoned
by my mother
335
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,268
and thrown
into the foster system.
336
00:13:54,355 --> 00:13:55,269
Who do I get to blame?
337
00:13:55,356 --> 00:13:56,923
Do not play that card.
338
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:57,749
Why not? It's my best card.
339
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:01,623
Just forget about us.
340
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,016
Have you ever stopped
to think about
341
00:14:03,103 --> 00:14:04,191
what life
is gonna be like
342
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,888
if Violet does keep
this baby?
343
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,455
Of course I have.
344
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:08,064
Really?
345
00:14:08,151 --> 00:14:10,806
Yeah!
346
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,808
As long as we're together,
347
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,897
as long as we're family,
it's gonna be great.
348
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:16,507
Oh, get honest.
349
00:14:16,594 --> 00:14:19,467
15, 20 years from now,
how's it really gonna look?
350
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:26,039
Mom, let's go!
I'm gonna be late for work!
351
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,736
[toilet flushes]
352
00:14:29,738 --> 00:14:33,785
[groans]
Sorry.
353
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,876
Things did notgo well in there.
354
00:14:39,008 --> 00:14:40,444
Mom, let's go!
355
00:14:40,531 --> 00:14:42,359
We're gonna be late
for our AA meeting.
356
00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,622
I don't want to go!
357
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,320
I want to get a quart
of vodka, an eight ball,
358
00:14:46,407 --> 00:14:48,888
take out my teeth, and
gum a couple of sailors.
359
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,672
[laughs]
360
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,240
I said on your birthday.
361
00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:55,285
Now move it.
362
00:14:55,372 --> 00:14:57,940
Don't forget you're taking your
granddaughter to school today.
363
00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,376
I know.
364
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,900
Come on, angel, we're leaving!
365
00:15:00,987 --> 00:15:03,903
I can't go to school.
366
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,644
My water broke.
367
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,517
You sure you didn't
just wet yourself?
368
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,998
'Cause the Crypt-Keeper
over here does it all the time.
369
00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:18,265
All right, let's go
to the hospital.
370
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:22,443
Is this one gonna be
the do-over baby?
371
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:22,922
[laughs]
372
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,230
You want me to take away
your oxygen?
373
00:15:27,317 --> 00:15:27,927
You want me to?!
374
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,798
Come on!
375
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,849
Roscoe, we're leaving!
376
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:46,728
Hey! Who's gonna take me
to my parole hearing?
377
00:15:49,687 --> 00:15:51,428
Well?
378
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,345
I got to go talk
to my daughter.
379
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:58,609
You're not gonna finish
your crème brûlée?
380
00:15:58,696 --> 00:15:59,959
God, no.
381
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:05,965
You got a minute?
382
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,576
Not if you're gonna yell at me.
383
00:16:08,663 --> 00:16:12,536
No, no more yelling.
384
00:16:12,623 --> 00:16:14,103
I just...
385
00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:16,976
I want to apologize
for being selfish.
386
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,457
I like where you're going.
387
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:25,114
I was looking at your baby as a
way to make up for the mistakes
388
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:26,724
I made with you and Roscoe.
389
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,378
How would that work?
390
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:33,035
Uh, you know, this time
I wouldn't be drunk,
391
00:16:33,122 --> 00:16:35,429
I wouldn't pass out
at a PTA meeting...
392
00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:37,387
at the wrong school.
393
00:16:39,302 --> 00:16:41,130
Yeah, that wasn't
too embarrassing.
394
00:16:43,611 --> 00:16:45,830
And I was excited
for the new baby, you know?
395
00:16:45,917 --> 00:16:48,137
Fresh out of the wrapper.
396
00:16:48,224 --> 00:16:49,834
Kind of a do-over.
397
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:51,880
That is so messed up.
398
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:55,971
What's really messed up
is that I didn't realize
399
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:58,104
you are my do-over baby.
400
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,757
I am?
401
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:02,064
[sighs]
402
00:17:02,151 --> 00:17:07,069
Violet, you're
breaking the cycle.
403
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,853
You're gonna have
a better life than me,
404
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:13,684
and you're making sure
that this baby has one, too.
405
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:17,297
I've been doing
some research online,
406
00:17:17,384 --> 00:17:19,821
and there's a lot of great
couples that really want
407
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,910
to start a family but can't.
408
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,217
You already found people?Yeah.
409
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,306
Look at these two guys
in San Francisco.
410
00:17:26,393 --> 00:17:29,004
Mike's a hedge fund trader
and André's a choreographer.
411
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:32,225
Oh, my God,
look at their house.
412
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:35,010
Think they'd adopt
a 35-year-old waitress?
413
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,361
You know,
me and the baby,
kind of a twofer?
414
00:17:38,448 --> 00:17:39,145
[laughs]
415
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:41,451
I love you.
416
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:43,279
I love you, too.
417
00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,283
[taps key]
418
00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:50,025
Aw, look, they have
a teacup poodle.
419
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,071
Big surprise.
420
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:01,863
Okay, we've made some
real progress tonight.
421
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,256
You think?
422
00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,518
Oh, yeah. You've got
a central character
423
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,041
and premise
for your musical.
424
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:07,999
You don't think
the story's a turnoff?
425
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,132
No! A 40-year-old man who sleeps
in the same bed with his mother
426
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:12,003
is gonna speak
to a lot of people.
427
00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,529
Well, it's like you said,
428
00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:17,966
write what you know.
429
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,446
Next session,
I expect to hear
430
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,143
a verse and chorus
for "Spooning Mama."
431
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:24,407
Hello.
432
00:18:24,494 --> 00:18:26,844
Ah, my next client,
right on time. Come on in.
433
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:28,237
She's a genius.
434
00:18:28,324 --> 00:18:30,805
Without her,
I wouldn't be a waitress.
435
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,201
Ooh!
436
00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:38,117
Wow, he really believes
you're a life coach.
437
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,944
Well, why wouldn't he?
438
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:41,859
The Louisiana State Bar
believed I was an attorney.
439
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,166
I had three wins
before I had to skedaddle.
440
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:47,822
Where's Violet?
441
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:50,041
She went to talk to Luke
and his parents.
442
00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,479
Oh, yeah, right.
443
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:56,570
You know, I've
been thinking.
444
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,137
If you're jonesing for a baby,
445
00:18:58,224 --> 00:18:59,094
you could
probably still pop one out.
446
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,227
Yeah, I guess so.
447
00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,751
Just have to meet the right guy.
448
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:06,275
You sure? That didn't stop you
the first two times.
449
00:19:09,322 --> 00:19:11,672
Dumb-ass crackers!
450
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:12,586
What's the matter?
451
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:13,761
Luke's parents.
452
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,545
First they don't want a thing
453
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,199
to do with this baby,
and now they're freaking out
454
00:19:17,286 --> 00:19:17,939
because I'm giving up
their beloved grandkid.
455
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:18,809
What about Luke?
456
00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,507
He was useless.
457
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,987
Oh, and get this.
Now his parents are insisting
458
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,685
that they're going
to adopt the baby.
459
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,469
What'd you tell them?
460
00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:28,689
I told them that I don't want
my kid being raised
461
00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:31,996
by religious fanatics.
I want it raised by homosexuals!
462
00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,438
You know,
if they take her to court,
463
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,309
she's gonna need
a good lawyer.
No!
464
00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:42,877
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465
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,052
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