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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,439 Is it just me, or is Dolores 2 00:00:04,526 --> 00:00:06,180 a little too old to be wearing a skirt 3 00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:06,876 that short to a meeting? 4 00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,965 Yeah. 5 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,575 When you're 70, 6 00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:13,056 you should not shop at Forever 21. [laughs] 7 00:00:13,143 --> 00:00:14,449 And I don't think she was wearing underwear. 8 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,233 Oh, I was sitting across from her. 9 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,800 She wasn't. 10 00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:19,715 It looked like cotton candy down there. 11 00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,675 Oh, God, somebody should tell her. 12 00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:25,373 Yeah? How'd that go? "Dolores, honey, 13 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,027 lower the skirt or trim the witch broom." 14 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,856 That's good. 15 00:00:30,943 --> 00:00:32,554 Or, you know, just go right at it. 16 00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,295 "Cross your legs, granny, 17 00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,036 I can see your yammy." 18 00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:37,472 [laughing] 19 00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:39,517 Granny? Yammy? 20 00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,518 Nothing? 21 00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,477 Sorry. 22 00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:43,347 I'm a little preoccupied. 23 00:00:43,434 --> 00:00:45,523 Is everything okay? 24 00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:47,351 Oh, sure. 25 00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,310 Other than, you know, 26 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:50,050 having cancer. 27 00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,052 [laughing] 28 00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:54,097 Oh, you're not laughing. 29 00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:59,102 What kind? 30 00:00:59,189 --> 00:01:00,321 Breast. 31 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:01,844 But we caught it early, 32 00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:04,455 so there's a good chance I'll be okay. 33 00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,630 Well, that's great news. 34 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:06,805 Yeah, that's great. 35 00:01:06,892 --> 00:01:09,112 Wow. 36 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,158 Cancer. 37 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,899 Sorry. 38 00:01:13,986 --> 00:01:15,162 Don't you dare treat me differently. No. 39 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:16,989 Of course not. No. No. 40 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,346 Remind me on the way home 41 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,564 I gotta pick up some brownie makings 42 00:01:26,651 --> 00:01:28,305 for Roscoe's bake sale tomorrow. 43 00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,786 You're actually gonna start baking at 11:00 at night? 44 00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:32,396 I know, it's a nightmare. 45 00:01:32,483 --> 00:01:34,877 Not like what you're going through. 46 00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,401 Oh. Here you go. 47 00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:38,576 What are you doing? 48 00:01:38,663 --> 00:01:39,969 What? She told us 49 00:01:40,056 --> 00:01:40,665 not to treat her any differently. 50 00:02:01,512 --> 00:02:04,211 Oh, it's awful about Marjorie, huh? 51 00:02:04,298 --> 00:02:05,690 Yeah. 52 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,127 I mean, she doesn't look sick. 53 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,084 [sighs] 54 00:02:08,171 --> 00:02:09,738 She did order soup. 55 00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:12,175 That is the official food of sick people. 56 00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,526 Or maybe she's making it up. 57 00:02:15,613 --> 00:02:17,572 Who makes up cancer? 58 00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:18,921 I did once. 59 00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:22,577 You know, I-I didn't want to hurt a guy's feelings. 60 00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,709 Then I ran into him five years later at a Costco. 61 00:02:24,796 --> 00:02:27,321 Tried to tell him it was a miracle. 62 00:02:27,408 --> 00:02:29,410 Who'd have thought that would backfire? 63 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:33,065 I know, I never go to Costco. 64 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:37,635 I just never know what to do in these situations. 65 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:39,768 Do you think she noticed I didn't give her a hug? 66 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:41,378 Yeah, what was that all about? 67 00:02:41,465 --> 00:02:43,424 I panicked halfway in. 68 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:46,601 I didn't want to... smoosh the cancer. 69 00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:51,562 Well, the fist bump was an odd choice. 70 00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,782 [sighs] 71 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,479 God. 72 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,525 It really puts our problems in perspective. 73 00:02:57,612 --> 00:02:59,004 Yeah. 74 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:00,571 Everything seems small by comparison. 75 00:03:00,658 --> 00:03:01,703 Right? 76 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:02,356 We need to be more grateful. 77 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:03,270 Amen. 78 00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,968 [honks horn] 79 00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:07,230 Green means go, stupid! 80 00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,319 Starting now. 81 00:03:19,373 --> 00:03:20,852 Hey. 82 00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,463 Oh. Hi. 83 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,163 I was just checking myself in the bathroom. 84 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,164 How'd you do? 85 00:03:28,251 --> 00:03:29,600 I think I'm okay. 86 00:03:29,687 --> 00:03:30,819 I, uh... I got a couple of freckles 87 00:03:30,906 --> 00:03:32,560 I'm gonna keep an eye on. 88 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:33,561 You? 89 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,866 I'm good. 90 00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,738 Just made myself a little horny. 91 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:39,349 VIOLET: Damn it, damn it, damn it! 92 00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:40,872 What's that about? 93 00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:42,483 She's 17 and pregnant. 94 00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,180 I'm surprised she doesn't do that all day. 95 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,530 [sighs] 96 00:03:46,617 --> 00:03:48,402 [knocking at door] 97 00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:49,794 Hello? 98 00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:51,361 Oh, come on! Lock the door! 99 00:03:51,448 --> 00:03:52,841 Oh, no, no. No. 100 00:03:52,928 --> 00:03:55,060 I'm trying to put 'em on, not take 'em off. 101 00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:56,366 What? 102 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:57,715 None of my stupid pants fit. 103 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,848 Come on, put some muscle into it! 104 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,458 Aren't we squishing the baby? 105 00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:02,459 The baby's fine. 106 00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,592 Button my damn pants! 107 00:04:04,679 --> 00:04:05,419 Help. 108 00:04:08,683 --> 00:04:09,727 Violet, you're pregnant. 109 00:04:09,814 --> 00:04:12,034 You had to know this was coming. 110 00:04:12,121 --> 00:04:14,210 I did, but I still want to look hot. 111 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:16,821 You were hot, that's why you're pregnant. 112 00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:18,562 It's true. 113 00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,520 [sighs] 114 00:04:19,607 --> 00:04:22,000 Well, it's not fair. 115 00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:23,698 Not fair? [laughs] 116 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:24,829 Oh, I've got news for you, 117 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,875 this is just the beginning. 118 00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,572 A couple of months from now, you're gonna be packin' on 119 00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:29,617 another 30 pounds, you'll have stretch marks, 120 00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:31,923 your boobs'll be enormous, 121 00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,621 and there's hemorrhoids... What's that about the boobs? 122 00:04:33,708 --> 00:04:34,448 Shut up. 123 00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:36,624 And you know what? 124 00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:38,060 None of that stuff matters, 125 00:04:38,147 --> 00:04:39,975 because you're healthy. 126 00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,803 And healthy is everything. 127 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,631 It's the most important thing in the world. 128 00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:44,632 Yeah, I get it, but... 129 00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,286 But nothing! 130 00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:47,852 Now take those stupid jeans off, 131 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:50,159 put on some sweatpants and pray for a C-section 132 00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:51,639 'cause that bundle of joy's 133 00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:54,511 gonna do some damage on its way out. 134 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,995 Bravo. 135 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:08,133 [knocking at door] 136 00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,316 [knocking] 137 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:17,317 Ooh, God. 138 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,535 Oh, my God. 139 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:20,842 Oh. 140 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:23,061 I'm sorry to come by so early, 141 00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,585 but I made brownies for Christy 142 00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:26,021 for her son's bake sale. 143 00:05:26,108 --> 00:05:27,936 What? Yeah. 144 00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,198 They're labeled. 145 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,200 Okay, these are regular brownies, 146 00:05:31,287 --> 00:05:33,898 and these have no sugar, no dairy and no gluten. 147 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:35,857 I call them "frownies." 148 00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,514 What? 149 00:05:40,601 --> 00:05:42,342 What's going on? 150 00:05:42,429 --> 00:05:46,476 Uh, Marjorie made brownies for Roscoe's bake sale. 151 00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:49,044 Oh, thank God, I completely forgot. 152 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:49,784 Marjorie, you saved my life. 153 00:05:49,871 --> 00:05:50,611 I mean... 154 00:05:53,483 --> 00:05:55,877 How's it going? 155 00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,313 Pretty good. 156 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,619 Have a nice day. 157 00:05:58,706 --> 00:05:59,968 Wait, um... 158 00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,273 do you want to come in for coffee? 159 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,927 I can't. I got a cab waiting 160 00:06:03,014 --> 00:06:04,581 to take me across town for my chemo. 161 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,104 Well, hang on, just give me a second 162 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:07,454 and I'll get dressed and I'll take you. 163 00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,847 Oh, I don't want to put you out. 164 00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,371 No, it's not a problem. 165 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,676 My daughter'll take Roscoe to school. 166 00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:13,851 Mom, you want to come with us? 167 00:06:13,938 --> 00:06:14,983 To chemo? 168 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:17,072 You betcha. 169 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,730 Okay. Thank you. 170 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:24,862 I'll let the cab go. 171 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:27,952 Oh... 172 00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:29,301 Do you believe her? Mmm. 173 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,694 She is in a fight for her life 174 00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,130 and she still finds the time 175 00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:33,828 to bake brownies for my kid's school. 176 00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:36,004 Yeah, the woman is a saint. 177 00:06:36,091 --> 00:06:37,397 [sighs] Thanks for going with us. 178 00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,485 Well, what choice did I have? 179 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:40,138 She survives this, 180 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,879 I don't need her telling people what a bitch I am. 181 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,287 Oh, good news. 182 00:06:58,374 --> 00:06:59,636 This cancer clinic 183 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,290 got four and a half stars on Yelp. 184 00:07:03,335 --> 00:07:05,816 That's... great. 185 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,339 Think about it. 186 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,080 You gotta be alive to write the review. 187 00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:15,391 Ooh, check it out. 188 00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,740 Angelina Jolie's new boobs. 189 00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:18,046 Life gave her lemons, 190 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,091 she turned them into grapefruits. 191 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,790 Speaking of which, 192 00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,226 have, uh, you thought about new ones? 193 00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:25,619 What? 194 00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:26,881 [laughing]: No. 195 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,273 I'm doing chemo and radiation 196 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,623 to try and hang on to these. 197 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,407 Or... you could go under the knife 198 00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,583 and wake up with a perky new rack. 199 00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,499 My rack is fine. Oh, please. 200 00:07:36,586 --> 00:07:37,674 You could tuck those puppies into your belt. 201 00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,029 Mom, can you please talk about something else? 202 00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:46,335 Sure. 203 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,555 What's your plan for the baldness? 204 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:51,645 You know, they said that might not happen. 205 00:07:51,732 --> 00:07:53,647 Oh, it's happening. 206 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:56,563 You're gonna look like a thumb in a housecoat. 207 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:59,000 Why is she here? 208 00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,218 She's trying to help. 209 00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:03,613 Oh. Did not get that. 210 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:06,834 Look, I say we start shopping for wigs today. 211 00:08:06,921 --> 00:08:07,878 I don't think so. 212 00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:08,923 You sure? 213 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,272 Curly blonde hair 214 00:08:10,359 --> 00:08:11,708 and some gummy bear double "D"s, 215 00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:13,710 you might even get laid. By a man. 216 00:08:14,668 --> 00:08:17,497 Mom, ease up. 217 00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:18,672 I'm sorry, I'm just trying 218 00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,151 to lighten the mood. 219 00:08:20,238 --> 00:08:21,501 [sighs] 220 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,459 What are gummy bear breasts? 221 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,982 The latest in implants. 222 00:08:25,069 --> 00:08:27,811 Like a memory foam mattress with nipples. 223 00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,033 Hi, Marjorie. 224 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,338 Ready to start your treatment? 225 00:08:33,425 --> 00:08:34,514 Yes, we are.I'm ready, too. 226 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,951 Come on. 227 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:37,691 I'm her best friend. 228 00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:41,172 So am I. 229 00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,043 What do I need new boobs for? 230 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,784 I have you two. 231 00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:49,441 Mommy's home. 232 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,707 Oh, my God. 233 00:08:53,794 --> 00:08:56,710 I thought the cancer clinic was depressing. 234 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:02,542 Marjorie, how many cats do you own? 235 00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:03,847 Oh, you don't own cats. 236 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,936 You love them. 237 00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,634 Okay. 238 00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,723 How many cats do you love? 239 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,899 Well, let's see. 240 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,465 That's Carlos Santana, 241 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,163 and that's Grace Slick, 242 00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,512 and that's Boz Scaggs 243 00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:18,470 and Steve Miller, and these three are 244 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,124 the Tower of Power horn section. 245 00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,389 This fat little troublemaker... [meows] 246 00:09:24,476 --> 00:09:26,304 is Jerry Garcia. 247 00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:27,697 So... eight. 248 00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,699 [cat meows] 249 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:34,138 Oh, Marjorie, when did you lose your way? 250 00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,313 I need to make them lunch. 251 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,794 No, no, no. You rest. 252 00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,491 We'll take care of it.[cat meows] 253 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:40,797 Oh... 254 00:09:40,884 --> 00:09:41,929 Where do you keep the cat food? 255 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,757 I don't feed them cat food. 256 00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:47,195 Of course not. 257 00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,805 What do you feed them? Well, 258 00:09:48,892 --> 00:09:51,329 there's a freshwater trout in the fridge. 259 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:52,200 You put that in the blender, 260 00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,549 pulse until creamy, 261 00:09:53,636 --> 00:09:55,377 and then add rice and veggies. 262 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,119 Don't look at me. 263 00:09:58,206 --> 00:09:59,555 I'm not making a sushi smoothie. 264 00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:03,733 Fine, I'll do it. 265 00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:05,909 [sneezes] 266 00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:08,259 Oh, are you allergic to cats? 267 00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,000 A little.Since when? 268 00:10:11,567 --> 00:10:14,570 Since birth, Mom. 269 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,791 With all these cats, 270 00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:20,489 you're wise not to have nice furniture. 271 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,931 [whispering]: I'm sorry. 272 00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:41,771 Hey, Christy, look. 273 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,644 I'm Dolores. 274 00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:58,005 [snorks] 275 00:11:00,921 --> 00:11:01,965 [nasally]: Chamomile with honey. 276 00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,228 Thank you. 277 00:11:05,839 --> 00:11:07,536 Did you, uh, make some tea for me? 278 00:11:07,623 --> 00:11:10,060 Did I ever get a birthday party? 279 00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,978 [sneezes] Uh! 280 00:11:15,065 --> 00:11:17,981 So, listen, 281 00:11:18,068 --> 00:11:21,724 I was thinking that we could call a couple of the girls 282 00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:25,685 from the meeting and have them take turns helping you out. 283 00:11:25,772 --> 00:11:30,472 You know, shopping, driving you to treatment... 284 00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,301 blending fish. 285 00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,346 I don't want anyone else to know. 286 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,044 Why not? 287 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,219 Go away. 288 00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,268 Because I don't want 289 00:11:44,355 --> 00:11:46,270 anyone feeling sorry for me because I'm sick. 290 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:49,621 Oh, Marjorie, no one's gonna feel sorry for you 291 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:50,753 'cause you're sick. 292 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,233 Yeah, they'll be sorry for you 293 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,930 'cause you're a crazy ol' cat lady. 294 00:11:57,586 --> 00:11:59,370 And if you're so concerned about your privacy, 295 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:00,720 why'd you tell us? 296 00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,200 Oh! Oh! 297 00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,115 Oh, please, scoot. 298 00:12:09,337 --> 00:12:11,556 Because you're my closest friends. 299 00:12:11,643 --> 00:12:13,733 Oh, that's even sadder. 300 00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:18,650 Well, what about your son? 301 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,957 Does he know? 302 00:12:21,044 --> 00:12:24,395 I haven't talked to him in a long time. 303 00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:27,007 Maybe we could call him and... 304 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,748 No, leave him alone. 305 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,924 But I just think that... 306 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:31,185 I said no! 307 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,755 He has his life, I have mine. 308 00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:40,150 All right, fine. 309 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:44,372 I gotta get to work. 310 00:12:44,459 --> 00:12:46,200 [sniffles, sighs] 311 00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,332 How do I look? 312 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,073 Like death warmed over. 313 00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,337 No offense. 314 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:59,300 Well, I will leave you in the capable hands of my... 315 00:12:59,387 --> 00:13:02,520 I'll just leave you. 316 00:13:03,304 --> 00:13:04,958 [snorks] 317 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,704 I don't suppose you wanna make some tea for me. 318 00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:19,276 [sniffles] 319 00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,451 [clears throat] 320 00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:27,981 Cocaine? 321 00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,550 Cat dander. 322 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:35,771 Mm. Is that what the kids are calling it now? 323 00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:41,211 Why is the Japanese family at table six 324 00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:42,169 wearing surgical masks? 325 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:45,476 Because they're paranoid. 326 00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:49,524 Are you sick? 327 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,526 Uh! No, I've got allergies. 328 00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,963 Well, either way, you don't look too good. 329 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:54,921 Maybe you should go home. 330 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,314 Maybe I should, Gabriel. 331 00:13:57,401 --> 00:14:01,144 Maybe we should all go home and be with our loved ones 332 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:02,580 'cause death is coming! 333 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,582 It's coming for you and you 334 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,976 and you and you! 335 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,202 She seemed a lot less crazy when I was sleeping with her. 336 00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,551 They all do. 337 00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:28,215 [door opens] 338 00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:30,043 Hey. Hi. 339 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:31,566 How was work? 340 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:34,699 People paid me to stay away from them. 341 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:40,618 How's Marjorie? 342 00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:41,706 She's doing okay. 343 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:44,579 I just put her to bed. 344 00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,450 You stayed with her the whole day? 345 00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:50,063 Yep. I made her dinner, did the laundry, 346 00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,542 panned for cat nuggets 347 00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:53,849 in the kitty litter. [clicks tongue] 348 00:14:53,936 --> 00:14:55,416 Wow. 349 00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:58,506 Look at you being all caring and compassionate 350 00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,551 without rolling on ecstasy. 351 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,599 I know. I'm as surprised as you are. 352 00:15:04,686 --> 00:15:07,384 I just, I can't help feeling 353 00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:08,908 the woman's getting a raw deal. 354 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:12,607 I mean, she's been sober for 32 years, 355 00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,826 she's always there for anybody who needs her. 356 00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,872 And what's her reward? 357 00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:17,568 Cancer. 358 00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,266 I know. 359 00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,877 You start thinking, "What's the point?" 360 00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,226 It beats me. 361 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,707 The unconditional love of family? 362 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:29,493 Ugh. Maybe. 363 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:33,149 It's a compelling argument for staying loaded till you die. 364 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:37,414 Marjorie gave me that same look. 365 00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,605 Oh, God! 366 00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,132 Can I help you? 367 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:02,439 Hi. I-I'm looking for a Jerry Armstrong. 368 00:16:02,526 --> 00:16:03,658 That's me. 369 00:16:03,745 --> 00:16:05,181 Oh, okay, great. 370 00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,749 I'm Christy. I'm a friend of your mother's. 371 00:16:09,185 --> 00:16:10,404 Not interested. 372 00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,840 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 373 00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:14,451 Um, I just want you to know 374 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,454 that she's going through a tough time. 375 00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,804 She's got cancer. 376 00:16:19,891 --> 00:16:23,156 Okay, now I know. 377 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,505 Have a nice day. 378 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:26,333 Oh come on. She's your mother. 379 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,422 Let me guess. 380 00:16:28,509 --> 00:16:31,294 You're one of her little Anonymous friends. 381 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:34,515 Yeah. 382 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:38,127 Yeah. 12 simple steps that let youoff the hook 383 00:16:38,214 --> 00:16:40,477 for ruining everyone's life. 384 00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:47,528 Well, there's more to it than that. 385 00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,443 There's also coffee and cookies. 386 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:56,276 Look, uh... 387 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:58,669 let me tell ya something, Christy. 388 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:01,107 My mother was a drunk and a drug addict 389 00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:03,500 who abandoned me more times than I can count. 390 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,590 So you'll have to excuse me if I'm rooting for the cancer. 391 00:17:08,505 --> 00:17:11,073 Wow. 392 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,120 That's a Mother's Day card you don't see. 393 00:17:17,253 --> 00:17:19,429 Listen, Jerry, I understand how you feel. 394 00:17:19,516 --> 00:17:21,910 I had the same kind of mom. 395 00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,565 But she's changed, and I've changed. 396 00:17:24,652 --> 00:17:28,221 I've changed more. 397 00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:29,396 I'm actually a much better person than she is. 398 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:34,531 Well, uh, thanks for sharing. 399 00:17:34,618 --> 00:17:36,707 Are we done? 400 00:17:36,794 --> 00:17:41,799 You just need to know that your mom is not like you remember. 401 00:17:41,886 --> 00:17:43,366 She's a warm and loving woman who has helped 402 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:46,587 a lot of people, including me. 403 00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:48,502 And a bunch of cats. 404 00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:53,768 Which you two seem to have in common. 405 00:17:53,855 --> 00:17:54,421 Great. 406 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:55,639 Bye. 407 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,084 I saw that ending in a hug. 408 00:18:08,913 --> 00:18:10,567 The trick to forging a signature 409 00:18:10,654 --> 00:18:14,441 is turning the original upside down when you copy it. 410 00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:17,183 How'd you learn that? 411 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,836 'Cause sometimes grandmas have to write checks 412 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,534 they're not supposed to. 413 00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,885 Sorry I'm late. 414 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:24,755 Where were you? 415 00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,540 Doesn't matter. 416 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:31,110 Look, this is gonna sound weird, but I just want you guys 417 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,850 to know that I love you 418 00:18:32,937 --> 00:18:35,157 and I am so happy we're all together. 419 00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:38,465 Are you drinking again? 420 00:18:38,552 --> 00:18:42,599 Violet, you can't ask that every time I say I love you. 421 00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,994 [sighs] Here, I stopped to get you some new jeans. 422 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,082 Really? 423 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:49,040 Yeah, look. 424 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,260 They're cute and they've got a stretchy waist. 425 00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:52,043 Thanks. 426 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,915 You're welcome. 427 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:56,526 I'm sorry I was a little rough on you the other day. 428 00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,528 It's okay. No, it's not. 429 00:18:58,615 --> 00:19:02,053 I want you to visit me when I'm dying. 430 00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,534 Sure. 431 00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:07,450 Great! 432 00:19:07,537 --> 00:19:10,627 Now, uh, what's going on over here? 433 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:11,672 Tell her. 434 00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:13,630 I flunked my math test. 435 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:14,892 Oh, Roscoe, you gotta apply yourself! 436 00:19:14,979 --> 00:19:16,546 Otherwise, you're gonna...! 437 00:19:17,678 --> 00:19:18,635 [sighs] 438 00:19:18,722 --> 00:19:21,247 Okay, let me start over. 439 00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,423 You are a very smart young man, 440 00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:26,121 and I know that you will do better next time. 441 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,167 I doubt it. 442 00:19:29,733 --> 00:19:32,301 Do you need me to sign it? 443 00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,911 That's okay. 444 00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:34,999 Grandma's teaching me to forge your signature. 445 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,697 Really?I don't think 446 00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:40,309 he can fool a bank, but he can sure fool a teacher. 447 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,717 Thanks for getting all dolled up for my chemo. 448 00:19:56,804 --> 00:20:00,808 Oh, this? Just threw it on. 449 00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:03,985 Oh, please, you're trying to bag that cute doctor. 450 00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:06,770 Say again. I couldn't hear you over your boobs. 451 00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:12,776 Regardless, I'm really glad you're both here. 452 00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,275 He's gay. 453 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,020 [text alert sounds] 454 00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:45,722 Oh, my God. 455 00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,464 What? 456 00:20:48,551 --> 00:20:51,380 I just got a text from my son. 457 00:20:53,426 --> 00:20:54,905 He wants to see me. 458 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:02,043 That's great. 459 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:04,611 Captioning sponsored by CBS 460 00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:05,655 and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION and TOYOTA. 461 00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:13,968 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 30186

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