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1
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,526
[phone rings]
2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:05,962
[moans softly]
3
00:00:07,398 --> 00:00:08,312
Hello?
4
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:09,313
Are you awake?
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:11,881
At 2:30 in the morning?
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,971
You betcha.
7
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,886
I think I'm pregnant.
8
00:00:16,973 --> 00:00:20,020
Oh, God, can I not be awake?
9
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:24,285
How is that even possible?
10
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,461
What kind of question is that?
11
00:00:26,548 --> 00:00:29,507
I happen to be in
the bloom of my life.
12
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,684
Half the men in Napa Valley
13
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,077
have been in
the bloom of your life.
14
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:37,037
What?
15
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,647
Nothing.
16
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:39,430
Did you take a test?
17
00:00:39,517 --> 00:00:41,911
I don't need to.
18
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:43,478
I've got all the signs.
19
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:44,783
I missed my period, I'm moody,
20
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:47,047
my nipples are
incredibly angry.
21
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:50,224
Trust me, there's fruit
in these loins.
22
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:54,358
No, no, no.
23
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:55,968
My daughter and my mother
24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,319
cannot be pregnant
at the same time.
25
00:00:58,406 --> 00:01:00,147
I don't have the strength.
26
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:02,018
Please don't make
this about you.
27
00:01:04,325 --> 00:01:07,241
Okay, look, maybe we're
worrying for no reason.
28
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:08,720
First thing tomorrow morning,
29
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,070
we'll get you
a doctor's appointment
30
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:11,593
just to be sure.
31
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:13,812
Oh, God, why is
this happening to me?
32
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,249
Honestly?
33
00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:18,861
Do we need to have
the talk again?
34
00:01:18,948 --> 00:01:21,603
I devoted the best years
of my life
35
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,170
to loving and nurturing a child.
36
00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:26,651
This was supposed to be my time.
37
00:01:26,738 --> 00:01:29,393
Boy, I would love
to meet that child.
38
00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:32,353
Look, I gotta
go back to sleep.
39
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,268
But what am I supposed to do?
40
00:01:34,355 --> 00:01:35,356
I don't know.
41
00:01:35,443 --> 00:01:36,792
Grab your calendar
42
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:37,923
and see if you can figure out
43
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,012
who the father is.
44
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,579
Oh...
45
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,103
[crying loudly]
46
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:46,062
BONNIE:
Are you freakin' kidding me?!
47
00:01:46,149 --> 00:01:49,196
You're a lying son of a bitch!
48
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:53,417
You shouldn't even be allowed
to practice in this country!
49
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,158
Menopause, my ass.
50
00:02:00,903 --> 00:02:02,470
Hate to be her daughter.
51
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:23,273
[sighs]
52
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,579
What are
you doing?
53
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:26,276
I'm hot.
54
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:27,756
Get back
in the car.
55
00:02:27,843 --> 00:02:28,800
You look like
a Labradoodle.
56
00:02:28,887 --> 00:02:31,325
Ugh...
57
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:33,718
I think I just ate a bug.
58
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:35,503
[gags]
59
00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:36,678
You know, menopause
isn't the end of the world.
60
00:02:36,765 --> 00:02:38,810
Easy for you to say.
61
00:02:38,897 --> 00:02:40,899
You can still provide
a king with an heir.
62
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:42,466
Oh, get real.
63
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,685
The only king
you've got a shot with
64
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:45,469
is the King of Big Screens.
65
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:48,037
All I am saying is
66
00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,604
what if I were to meet someone?
67
00:02:49,691 --> 00:02:50,692
Maybe a young guy
who wants a family.
68
00:02:50,779 --> 00:02:52,998
You have a family.
69
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:55,175
That doesn't mean I can't try
for a better one.
70
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,743
Want to know what I have
to look forward to?
71
00:02:58,830 --> 00:02:59,788
Ah...
72
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:02,443
Hot flashes, weight gain,
73
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,922
decreased sex drive,
74
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,794
incontinence.
75
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,884
What kind of man is gonna want
a piece of that action?
76
00:03:08,971 --> 00:03:10,581
I'm sure there's a Web site
77
00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:11,756
for guys who are into fat,
sweaty bed-wetters.
78
00:03:14,672 --> 00:03:16,935
Oh, I'm sorry,
is this fun for you?
79
00:03:17,022 --> 00:03:19,634
Oh, come on, I'm just
trying to lighten the mood.
80
00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:21,244
And yes.
81
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,420
Oh, look.
82
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,380
A tester tube
of vaginal lubricant.
83
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,468
Why don't
they just put
84
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,296
a gun in here?
85
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,603
Instead of focusing
on all the cons,
86
00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,562
why don't we try
to make a list of the pros?
87
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,780
Like...
88
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,260
no more birth control worries.
89
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:38,914
Right. If I were worried
90
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,872
about birth control,
you wouldn't exist.
91
00:03:40,959 --> 00:03:43,397
Okay, pro:
92
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,920
no more PMS.
93
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:47,749
So now when I'm a bitch
I'm just a bitch?
94
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:50,186
All righty.
95
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,709
Pro...
96
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:53,668
you're entering
the time in your life
97
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:54,973
when you give back
98
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,453
to loved ones
and community.
99
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,195
Oh, please, now you're
just making stuff up.
100
00:03:59,282 --> 00:04:00,240
Oh, God,
101
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,850
where did the years go?
102
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:02,894
You wasted 'em.
103
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:04,940
I mean...
104
00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:06,855
it's gonna
be okay.
105
00:04:06,942 --> 00:04:08,335
[sobbing]
106
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,989
No, it's never
gonna be okay again.
107
00:04:11,076 --> 00:04:13,078
[sobbing]
108
00:04:16,908 --> 00:04:17,909
Mom. Three o'clock.
109
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,526
Are you okay?
110
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:26,744
No, not really.
111
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:29,704
Would a ride cheer you up?
112
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,923
Don't you dare.
113
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,274
I deserve this.
114
00:04:35,318 --> 00:04:37,973
Yeah, I think it would.
115
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:41,063
All right.
Hop on.
116
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:45,023
I'll call you later.
117
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:48,026
Stop, you're making
a terrible mistake!
118
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:48,897
Don't worry about me.
119
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:51,073
Worry about him.
120
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,162
I was talking to him!
121
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:58,298
Hey.
122
00:04:58,385 --> 00:04:59,864
Mom, do you like
circumcised men?
123
00:05:02,911 --> 00:05:05,435
Um, can I put my purse down
124
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,916
before we have
this conversation?
125
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:09,352
Well, if we
have a boy,
126
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:10,875
Luke wants to get
the baby snipped.
127
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:12,921
Not snipped,
streamlined.
128
00:05:14,096 --> 00:05:16,011
Tell him it's not necessary.
129
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,621
Oh, God.
130
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:18,579
Luke, why don't you
have this conversation
131
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,058
with your own parents?
132
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:22,060
'Cause his parents
don't know I'm pregnant.
133
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:23,932
Wait, what?
134
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:24,976
You told me
135
00:05:25,063 --> 00:05:26,108
they were thrilled
136
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,239
and totally supportive.
137
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,807
Yeah, well...
138
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:30,982
that was sort of a...
139
00:05:31,069 --> 00:05:34,899
you know, lie.
140
00:05:34,986 --> 00:05:37,467
Luke, why didn't you tell them?
141
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:38,425
He's scared of 'em.
142
00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:39,643
No, I'm not scared.
143
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:41,253
It's just...
complicated.
144
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,254
They're not
cool like you.
145
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,431
My mother's not cool.
146
00:05:44,518 --> 00:05:45,345
Hang on.
147
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:48,043
Let the boy talk.
148
00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:50,306
I was just waiting
for the right time.
149
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:51,699
Which would be when?
150
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:54,571
I don't know.
151
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,312
They're old,
they could die soon.
152
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,096
Problem solved.
153
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,882
Oh, sweetie, don't
wish for that.
154
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,840
Besides,
it doesn't work.
155
00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:04,668
If anything, the
parent lives longer.
156
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,193
You need to
tell your folks
157
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,891
and you need to
do it immediately.[moans]
158
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,283
Oh, sack up.
159
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,894
Did they snip off
all of your penis?
160
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,854
Violet, be nice.
161
00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,813
Go ahead.
162
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,858
You can do it.
163
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:24,993
Would you maybe
come with me?
164
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:29,606
This is something
you have to do yourself.
165
00:06:29,693 --> 00:06:31,565
Encourage him.
166
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,130
Oh, be a man.
167
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,658
Seriously?
168
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,967
The chef is especially happy
with the catch of the day,
169
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:45,013
which is a Copper River
salmon, and...
170
00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:46,971
Psst.
171
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:49,887
Need to talk.
172
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,802
Sorry. Uh...
173
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,325
the salmon is pan-seared
174
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,502
with fingerling potatoes
and savoy spinach.
175
00:06:55,589 --> 00:06:57,199
BONNIE:
Fingerling...
176
00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:00,724
Uh, the other specials
are heritage pork chop,
177
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,683
Kobe beef
and Maine lobster,
178
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:04,249
which is flown in daily from...
179
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:06,034
Anyone? Anyone?
180
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:07,209
[imitates buzzer]
Maine.
181
00:07:07,296 --> 00:07:09,385
Okay, uh, I'll be right back.
182
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,908
Mom.
183
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,910
What's going on?
184
00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:15,260
My vagina is dead.
185
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,830
What the hell are
you talking about?
186
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:21,615
That motorcycle guy.
187
00:07:21,702 --> 00:07:23,443
I took him back to my place,
stripped off his clothes,
188
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:25,357
ran my tongue up and down
his gorgeous body
189
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:26,794
and felt nothing.
190
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,230
It was like I was
licking a rock.
191
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,233
I'm confused.
192
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,321
Did you sleep
with him or not?
193
00:07:32,408 --> 00:07:34,410
Not. I mean, I tried,
194
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,238
but it was like
I-I couldn't get it up.
195
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,765
I'm sorry, I didn't know it was
Take Your Mother to Work Day.
196
00:07:41,852 --> 00:07:43,854
Yeah, it comes
right after
197
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:46,117
Sleep with Your
Married Boss Week.
198
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:49,033
Carry on.
199
00:07:51,775 --> 00:07:53,516
Well, well.
200
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:56,127
Who's this beautiful,
wounded bird?
201
00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:58,434
Don't waste your time.
202
00:07:58,521 --> 00:07:59,914
I'm numb from the neck down.
203
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,611
Hmm.
204
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,787
So the head's still in play?
205
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:11,012
[frantic knocking,
doorbell ringing wildly]
206
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:14,798
Hold your horses,
I'm coming.
207
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,626
Ta-da!
208
00:08:20,195 --> 00:08:21,544
I figured it out.
209
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,328
I'm not giving up.
210
00:08:23,415 --> 00:08:25,113
If I'm gonna go down,
I'm gonna go down fighting.
211
00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:28,246
If it stands up to pee,
I'm banging it.
212
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:31,685
Glad to hear it.
213
00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:32,903
Let me introduce you
214
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,949
to Luke's parents.
215
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:38,692
Nathan and Mary, this
is my mother, Bonnie.
216
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,217
Howdy-do.
217
00:08:53,315 --> 00:08:54,795
I just want to thank
both of you
218
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,536
for coming over so we can
discuss the, uh...
219
00:08:56,623 --> 00:08:58,538
Child conceived
in sin?
220
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,540
[sobbing]
221
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:05,632
You're right,
I am the cool parent.
222
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,679
Luke, did you
223
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:11,159
learn nothing
224
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:12,464
from your father's
Bible class?
225
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,641
I'm sorry, what?
226
00:09:14,728 --> 00:09:16,338
Bible class?
MARY:
Yes.
227
00:09:16,425 --> 00:09:17,774
Nathan is
the head pastor
228
00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,254
at the Baptist Church
in Santa Rosa.
229
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:22,518
[laughing]:
Oh, that's just hilarious.
230
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,694
[laughing]:
Right?
231
00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:27,915
I'm so sorry, Father.
232
00:09:30,091 --> 00:09:31,658
All right,
I just want to say
233
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,877
that we've all really
come to love your son
234
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,705
and I know that my daughter
is crazy about him,
235
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,315
so I'm sure there's
236
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:39,100
a happy ending
in here somewhere.
237
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:40,667
If Violet just gave him
a happy ending, we...
238
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,712
Mom!
239
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:49,110
I'm sorry, I-I'm about
a quart low on the estrogen.
240
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:50,633
Ah.
241
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,939
You know what
I'm talking about, right?
242
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,116
NATHAN:
Look...
243
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:56,639
here's what's
going to happen.
244
00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,598
All of this nonsense
about these two kids
245
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:00,034
getting married
after high school
246
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,513
is just that,
nonsense.
247
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:02,863
It is not
going to happen.
248
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:05,213
Now, as far as
the child is concerned,
249
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,606
Luke will provide
financial support,
250
00:10:06,693 --> 00:10:07,650
if in fact it turns
out to be his.
251
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,783
What?
252
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,001
Violet, I got this.
253
00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:12,612
What?
254
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:13,743
We don't know for sure
255
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,180
that our son
is the only boy
256
00:10:16,267 --> 00:10:17,791
your little temptress
has been with.
257
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,880
Okay, buddy.
258
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,316
Let's get
something clear...
259
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,797
Christy, I got this.
260
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,668
Here's all you need to know
about this family.
261
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,670
With every generation,
262
00:10:27,757 --> 00:10:29,846
we are getting better.
263
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,543
That's right.
264
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:37,288
So, I may have been
a drunken slut...
265
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,595
She was.
266
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,684
...and my daughter may have been
a drunken slut...
267
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:42,772
Hang on a second.
268
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:43,860
What?
269
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,819
Never mind.
Go on.
270
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:48,735
...but my granddaughter,
this tender angel,
271
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:52,173
she was pure
as the driven snow
272
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,218
until she smoked your son's
weed, drank his tequila,
273
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:57,657
and then made passionate love
with him for about two minutes.
274
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,791
Am I telling it
right, honey?
275
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,141
Yeah, sorta.
276
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,666
So don't you take the
high road with us, Pastor.
277
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,015
I know your type.
278
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:09,625
I have bedded
my share of clergy.
279
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:10,800
[clicks tongue]
280
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,808
Mary, Luke, let's go.
281
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:21,332
No, I love Violet
and I'm gonna stick by her
282
00:11:21,419 --> 00:11:23,204
for as long as she'll have me.
283
00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:24,074
Get in the car.
284
00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,033
I'll call you later.
285
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,340
CHRISTY:
Hey, Pastor?
286
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:30,777
I just want you to know,
287
00:11:30,864 --> 00:11:31,821
we're gonna raise
the baby Jewish.
288
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:37,435
And we're not Jews!
289
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,439
Shalom, bitch!
290
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:51,928
[knocking]
291
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:52,842
Um, it-it's open.
292
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:58,239
How ya doin'?
293
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,154
Okay.
294
00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:03,853
I'm sorry about all that.
295
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,289
I guess you can see
296
00:12:05,376 --> 00:12:08,640
why we don't do a lot
of entertaining.
297
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:10,251
There's nothing
to be sorry about.
298
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,035
You and Grandma
were great today.
299
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:13,384
You think?
300
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:14,995
Yeah. For the first time
in my life
301
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:16,953
I felt like we were
the normal family.
302
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:20,130
Me, too! It's so weird.
303
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,610
[sighs]
304
00:12:21,697 --> 00:12:23,220
So, are you in touch with Luke?
305
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:24,526
No.
306
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:25,962
Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
307
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:27,834
I know what
you're going through.
308
00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,792
When I was your age,
I had a boyfriend
309
00:12:29,879 --> 00:12:31,751
whose parents
just hated my guts.
310
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,362
Really?
Yeah.
311
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,059
To be fair,
we were on pretty good terms
312
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:40,324
until I got drunk and burned
their garage down.
313
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,673
They were really judgey
about it.
314
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,327
[giggles]
315
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:44,807
Luke's parents were always
really nice to me,
316
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:47,114
I mean, until today.
317
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:51,596
Well, until today, you were
his high school sweetheart.
318
00:12:51,683 --> 00:12:54,077
Now you're his
white trash baby mama.
319
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,994
Guess it doesn't matter anyway
320
00:12:58,081 --> 00:12:59,735
'cause I think
we should break up.
321
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:01,911
I'm gonna tell Luke to start
dating other people.
322
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:06,002
Oh, honey, are you sure
that's a good idea?
323
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:09,876
I mean, he is the baby's father,
324
00:13:09,963 --> 00:13:12,443
and more importantly,
he thinks I'm cool.
325
00:13:12,530 --> 00:13:15,098
BONNIE:
Christy!
326
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,187
Call 911!
I'm having a heart attack!
327
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:21,017
No, you're not.
328
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,977
It might be a stroke!
I smell toast!
329
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,284
I'm here if you need me.
330
00:13:27,371 --> 00:13:28,633
Thanks.
331
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:29,852
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!
332
00:13:29,939 --> 00:13:32,289
Shouldn't you hurry?
333
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,901
False alarm, just gas!
334
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,080
There you go.
335
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:43,170
A good night's sleep
gonna make all the difference.
336
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:44,214
Thanks.
337
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:46,826
Am I pretty?
338
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:50,699
What?
339
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,744
Yes, of course.
You're beautiful.
340
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:55,182
I don't feel beautiful.
341
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:59,273
I feel like a man trapped
in a man's body.
342
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,144
Stop it.
343
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:04,278
All the stuff you're
worrying about is in your head.
344
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:05,583
It's not really happening.
345
00:14:05,670 --> 00:14:07,672
Are you saying I'm crazy?
346
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:10,893
No. I mean, not in thiscontext.
347
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:13,765
Is Violet mad at me?
348
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,552
Quite the contrary,
she's actually proud of you.
349
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,162
Really?
Yeah!
350
00:14:19,249 --> 00:14:21,643
She thought you were awesome
with Luke's dad.
351
00:14:21,730 --> 00:14:23,863
And get this, she called us
the normal family.
352
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:26,387
Shut up!
353
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,911
Yeah, that's a first.
354
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,218
Oh. [chuckles]
355
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,263
Okay, let's get some
shut-eye.
356
00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,396
I'm sure everything will look
better in the morning.
357
00:14:35,483 --> 00:14:37,050
I hope so.
358
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:37,964
I'll tell you one thing
I'm not imagining.
359
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:40,270
I am losing my hair.
360
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:43,056
Oh, Mom, please,
don't be ridiculous.
361
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:43,883
Your hair is amazing.
362
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:46,798
Now go to sleep.
363
00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:58,201
Sweet dreams.
364
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,295
Mom.
365
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,862
What?
366
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,864
Something's wrong with Grandma.
367
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:12,737
You're late to the party, dude.
368
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,919
Mom?
369
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,095
Good morning, loved ones.
370
00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:25,881
See?
371
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:28,928
You... feeling okay?
372
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:29,929
Never better.
373
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,539
Come, sit, enjoy.
374
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,671
I've made scrambled eggs,
pancakes, bacon,
375
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,499
hash browns,
toast, oatmeal.
376
00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:39,721
All sprinkled with a healthy
dollop of Grandmama's love.
377
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:44,944
Mom, let go of his cheek.
378
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,685
Oh, sorry, he's
just so pinchable
379
00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:49,992
and so, mmm, kissable
380
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,952
and so, ooh, squeezable.
381
00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,345
Help me.
382
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:58,522
Yeah, yeah-yeah,
we all love him.
383
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,524
Come on. Sit down.
384
00:16:00,611 --> 00:16:04,615
Wow, this is
really quite a spread.
385
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,227
What brought this on?
386
00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:09,316
Well, I woke up in
the middle of the night
387
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:10,970
and realized, since I'm
clearly no longer
388
00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:13,668
a sexual being, I needed
to find a new identity.
389
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:17,541
Okay, I get that.
390
00:16:17,628 --> 00:16:20,544
So...
391
00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,068
what'd you settle on?
392
00:16:22,155 --> 00:16:24,984
Well, isn't it obvious?
393
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,202
I'm the mother.
394
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:27,160
The-the caregiver.
395
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:29,118
The nurturing crone.
396
00:16:31,425 --> 00:16:32,861
Who's got your nose?!
397
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:34,863
Put the nose down, Mom.
398
00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:35,907
[knocking]
399
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,039
I'll get it.
400
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:40,434
I'm scared.
401
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:42,479
You should be.
402
00:16:45,569 --> 00:16:47,180
Where's my son?
403
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,138
[Southern accent]:
I haven't the faintest clue.
404
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,707
Are you mocking me?
405
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:55,101
Well, whatever do
you mean, sir?
406
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,624
Mom, please.
407
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,191
What's going on?
408
00:16:58,278 --> 00:17:00,454
Luke has disappeared.
I assumed he'd be here.
409
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:01,629
Well, he's not.
410
00:17:01,716 --> 00:17:02,934
Would you mind checking?
411
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,241
Sure.
412
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:16,122
♪ The only one who could
ever teach me ♪
413
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:18,298
♪ Was the son of
a preacher man ♪
414
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:22,824
♪ Yes, he was,
yes, he was ♪
415
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,913
♪ Oh, yes, he was ♪
416
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:27,872
♪ Being good isn't... ♪
417
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:29,483
Violet's gone, too.
418
00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:32,181
Luke told me he was going
to end the relationship.
419
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:33,835
She told me
the same thing.
420
00:17:33,922 --> 00:17:35,097
It appears
they've run off.
421
00:17:35,184 --> 00:17:36,751
You think?
422
00:17:36,838 --> 00:17:38,448
Stop!
423
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,587
I suppose both of us
bear some responsibility
424
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:47,805
for this turn of events.
425
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,546
I don't think so.
426
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:50,939
Those kids were loved and
accepted in my house!
427
00:17:51,026 --> 00:17:52,549
You drove them away!
428
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:55,683
I was trying to keep my son
from ruining his life.
429
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:59,208
Okay, do you see how
that's a little offensive
430
00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:00,992
when the thing ruining his
life is my daughter?!
431
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:04,387
That's not what I meant.
432
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:05,823
Could you help me
out here?
433
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:08,957
Sorry, I'm the crazy one.
434
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:13,092
Look, I'm not thrilled
about this pregnancy either,
435
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,442
but that doesn't
really matter.
436
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,270
All we can do
at this point
437
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,359
is keep loving them,
438
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:23,972
even though they
make it so hard!
439
00:18:24,059 --> 00:18:27,628
All right, perhaps I haven't
handled this very well.
440
00:18:27,715 --> 00:18:28,846
Haven't handled it well?
441
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:30,587
You screwed the pooch, Pastor.
442
00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:34,765
The question is,
what are we gonna do now?
443
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:37,203
What do you suggest?
444
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,295
I suggest we come
together as adults
445
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:45,385
and help these kids
who love each other
446
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:47,996
do whatever the hell it is
they're gonna do!
447
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:52,435
Well, I think that's very wise.
448
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,829
Welcome to the dark side.
449
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,138
Ooh, Virginia's alive!
450
00:19:02,967 --> 00:19:06,536
VIOLET:
What kind of idiot changes
his Facebook status to single?!
451
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,452
LUKE:
Hey, it was your idea we should
start seeing other people!
452
00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,150
That was just to trick
our parents
453
00:19:11,237 --> 00:19:13,326
so we could run away
to Vegas and get married!
454
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,328
LUKE:
Well, you should've
made that clear!
455
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:17,721
Well, I shouldn't have to!
456
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,294
So, as you may have heard,
change of plans.
457
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:36,436
This is nice, all of us
having dinner together.
458
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:39,265
It is nice.
Mm-hmm.
459
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:40,396
[text alert sounds]
460
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,790
Do you need to answer that?
461
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,705
No, it's just a text from Luke.
462
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,925
So, what's going on
with you two?
463
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,536
He wants us
to get back together.
464
00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:50,580
[text alert sounds]
465
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:51,973
And he loves me.
466
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,888
[text alert]A lot.
467
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,498
Shouldn't you text him back?
468
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,413
No, not yet.
469
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,068
Let him sweat for awhile.
470
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:01,417
Speaking of which,
guess who stopped sweating?
471
00:20:01,504 --> 00:20:04,551
The estrogen patch is helping?
472
00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:07,510
I am happy to report
that I'm dry
473
00:20:07,597 --> 00:20:08,685
in all the right places now.Good.
474
00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:12,123
And conversely...
Got it.
475
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,170
How about the mood swings?
476
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:18,782
Much improved, thanks
to hormone therapy.
477
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:21,132
Ugh, I don't really like
these vegetables.
478
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:21,916
No problem.
479
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,353
[plate shatters]
480
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:30,141
We're still working
on the dosage.
481
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:32,056
[text alert sounds]
482
00:20:32,143 --> 00:20:34,320
Captioning sponsored by
CBS, WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
483
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,409
and TOYOTA.
484
00:20:36,496 --> 00:20:37,497
Captioned by
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