Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:04,004
♪ ♪
2
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,705
Hey, uh... where are we?
3
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,533
I thought you were
driving me home.
Oh, I am.
4
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:13,230
I just took
a little detour
5
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:13,926
to give you a taste of
what I do for a living.
6
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,885
[exhales]
7
00:00:15,972 --> 00:00:17,321
See that
stop sign?
8
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:18,801
Yeah.
9
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,020
As a Sonoma County
civil engineer,
10
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,457
I processed the paperwork
11
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,066
that made that stop sign
a reality.
12
00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:26,374
Very impressive.
Yeah.
13
00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,854
City council was pushing
for a light,
14
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,291
but I didn't think
the traffic flow
15
00:00:30,378 --> 00:00:31,901
justified the expense
to the taxpayers.
16
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,296
Well, as someone
who recently started
17
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,036
paying taxes,
I thank you.
18
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,214
How 'bout that yield sign?
19
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:41,519
What a beauty.
Is that you?
20
00:00:41,606 --> 00:00:43,043
Nah.
21
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,393
That was another guy
in my office.
22
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,176
Brett.
23
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,309
Such a jerk.
24
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,269
Well, you know what?
25
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,445
I think the stop sign's
much nicer.
26
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:56,012
Right?
27
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,145
Thank you.
Yeah.
28
00:00:58,232 --> 00:00:59,929
Hey, maybe
next time, um,
29
00:01:00,016 --> 00:01:01,365
we can drive
to Petaluma.
30
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,584
I'll show you
a traffic circle there
31
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:05,108
that will
blow your mind.
32
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:06,805
I'd like that.
33
00:01:14,639 --> 00:01:15,988
Hey, um...
34
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,903
I gotta run
something by you.
35
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,340
Sure.
36
00:01:19,427 --> 00:01:21,037
I like you.
37
00:01:21,124 --> 00:01:21,951
Good, I like you.
38
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:24,388
Yeah?
39
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,434
I don't show my stop
sign to just anyone.
40
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,439
Anyway, I...
41
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,571
I want to take this
real slow.
42
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,660
That's fine.
You sure?
43
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:36,096
Yeah, of course.
44
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:39,447
How slow?
45
00:01:39,534 --> 00:01:42,711
[laughs]
46
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:43,973
Until we get to know
each other better,
47
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,281
sex is off the table.
48
00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,283
And any other furniture.
49
00:01:49,370 --> 00:01:51,067
Okay.
50
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:54,201
[laughs]
51
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:55,985
Wow.
What?
52
00:01:56,072 --> 00:01:58,205
I've said that
to other men before,
53
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,207
but I never actually meant it.
54
00:02:00,294 --> 00:02:02,861
Should I feel special?
55
00:02:02,948 --> 00:02:04,124
Yeah, yes.
56
00:02:04,211 --> 00:02:06,256
You should.
57
00:02:08,737 --> 00:02:10,565
Question:
58
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,175
do you like
to hike?
59
00:02:12,262 --> 00:02:13,872
'Cause I was thinking
maybe next Saturday
60
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,265
I'd take you to
this beautiful trail.
61
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:16,745
It's about an hour
north of here.
62
00:02:16,832 --> 00:02:18,050
Yeah, sure.
63
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,357
Just a heads up:
64
00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:22,011
I'm-I'm a bit of
a nature buff.
65
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:23,273
It's kind of
my thing.
66
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,535
Camping, fishing,
67
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,320
rock climbing,
you name it.
68
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:27,408
[distantly]:
If it's outdoors...
69
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:30,367
[grunting, panting]
70
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:33,979
[Christy moaning]
71
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,938
When I was eight,
I joined the Cub Scouts
72
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,983
and I was just
immediately hooked.
73
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:39,637
It was like...
74
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,639
finally, I found my people.
75
00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,163
And...
76
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,426
I proceeded to get
pretty much every
77
00:02:45,513 --> 00:02:46,601
merit badge
known to man.
78
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,994
Uh, my mom
actually had to
79
00:02:49,081 --> 00:02:50,953
[distantly]:
make an extra-wide
sash to hold them...
80
00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:52,172
[grunting]
81
00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:00,354
[Christy panting]
82
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:06,186
You're amazing.
83
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,448
You sound like my mom.
84
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:08,492
[laughs]
85
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:14,150
Uh, okay, um...
86
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:16,239
well, good night.
87
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,109
Good night.
88
00:03:22,941 --> 00:03:24,247
No. Uh...
89
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,248
I gotta go.
90
00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:27,555
Night.
Night.
91
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,732
Looking forward to our hike.
92
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,561
Our what?
93
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,317
So he pulled over
to show me
94
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:51,753
this stop sign
he made...
95
00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:53,494
What?
I don't know...
96
00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:55,235
made, painted, installed...
I wasn't listening.
97
00:03:57,324 --> 00:03:58,716
I was too busy
fantasizing
98
00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,283
about being in
the back seat with him,
99
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,024
doing it like a couple
of ninth graders.
100
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:04,418
Ninth grade?
101
00:04:04,505 --> 00:04:06,158
Tenth?
102
00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:10,598
What grade makes me
sound normal?
103
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:12,426
Never mind.
So what happened?
104
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:14,254
I stuck to the plan
105
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:15,429
and played it slow.
106
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:16,778
Good for you.
107
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,867
Thanks.
108
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:20,172
Although, I am ashamed of what
I did when I went in the house.
109
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,436
Oh, please,
110
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,002
that's nothing to be
embarrassed about.
111
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:24,960
You're a
grown woman.
112
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:26,353
No... no!
113
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,179
Not that.
114
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,181
Oh.
115
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,096
I ate all of my son's
pudding cups.
116
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,097
Oh.
117
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,970
Six of them.
118
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:37,581
My farts smelled
like butterscotch.
119
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,672
Well, well, well.
120
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,285
Isn't this a surprise?
121
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:47,417
Hi, Mom.
122
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,767
You know Marjorie
from the meeting.
123
00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:52,117
Oh, I do.
124
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,206
Marjorie.
125
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,296
Bonnie.
126
00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:58,994
Would you like
to join us?
127
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,169
I'd like to join you,
128
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:01,213
but I'll make the best of it.
129
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:05,609
Marjorie has been giving me
130
00:05:05,696 --> 00:05:07,785
some really good
relationship advice.
131
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,091
BONNIE:
Is that so?
132
00:05:09,178 --> 00:05:10,222
Why wouldn't
you come to
133
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,920
your own mother
for that?
134
00:05:12,007 --> 00:05:13,487
The same reason
135
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,314
I don't come to you
for advice
136
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:16,664
about beekeeping.
137
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:19,144
You know nothing about it.
138
00:05:19,231 --> 00:05:21,277
For the record,
I've had hundreds
139
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:25,194
of successful
relationships with men.
140
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,631
The fact that you don't know
141
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,154
what you just said
is horrifying.
142
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,157
What did I say?
143
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,290
You know,
these things
144
00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,205
aren't always
judged on quantity.
145
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:39,164
I was with one
wonderful man
146
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,470
for 30 years.
147
00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:42,124
And then
he left you.He died.
148
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,082
Spin it however
you want.
149
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,302
Marjorie's just trying
to help me.
150
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,391
Oh, I get it.
151
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:49,261
You think she's wise
'cause she's old.
152
00:05:52,134 --> 00:05:54,354
So what's your
big advice?
153
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,268
Well, I told
your daughter,
154
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,400
who came to me
instead of you...
155
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,883
...that if she
really wants
156
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,406
something meaningful
with this guy,
157
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,887
she shouldn't
have sex with him
158
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:07,671
for at least
three months.
159
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:08,324
[laughing]
160
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,504
I'm sorry, that's not a joke?
161
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:16,376
No.
162
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:17,638
Oh, come on.
163
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,248
What if she
waits three months
164
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,946
and then finds out
he can't deliver the goods?
165
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:25,210
True intimacy doesn't depend
on "delivering the goods."
166
00:06:25,297 --> 00:06:26,995
Oh, Marjorie.
167
00:06:27,082 --> 00:06:28,953
You make me sad.
168
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,043
Well, what does
this guy say?
169
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,828
Is he okay with
taking it slow?
170
00:06:33,915 --> 00:06:35,177
He thinks it's a great idea.
171
00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:36,744
Flag on the play.
172
00:06:36,831 --> 00:06:38,310
What?
173
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,442
Real men
don't go slow.
174
00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,575
He's either
lying, gay
175
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:42,967
or he's packing
a gherkin.
176
00:06:44,273 --> 00:06:45,056
It's a little
pickle.
177
00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:47,885
I know what it is.
178
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,409
Just do yourself
a favor.
179
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,759
If you're
going to wait,
180
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:52,673
at least make sure
there's something
181
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:54,892
worth waiting for.
182
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:57,112
Oh, what's she
supposed to do?
183
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,635
Ask him
to whip it out?
184
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,028
No.
185
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:00,289
Show a little
class, Marjorie.
186
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,295
Do a drive-by.
187
00:07:06,382 --> 00:07:07,383
A drive-by?
188
00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,168
A drive-by.
189
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:13,302
You know, cruise by
the general vicinity.
190
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,394
Send your knee on
a fact-finding mission.
191
00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,613
Oh, God.
192
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:20,875
Do you believe her?
193
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:24,574
It's actually
not bad advice.
194
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,272
My late husband loved me,
but wow...
195
00:07:27,359 --> 00:07:30,058
there was not a lot
to work with.
196
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,409
Twerkin' the gherkin.
197
00:07:36,020 --> 00:07:36,760
Okay.
198
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,806
I gotta go.
199
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:40,372
Thanks, Marjorie.
200
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,722
I don't know how
201
00:07:41,809 --> 00:07:43,071
I would get through
this without you.
202
00:07:43,158 --> 00:07:43,854
Oh, you're welcome, dear.
203
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,769
And, Mom...
204
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,990
...nice jacket.
205
00:08:01,568 --> 00:08:04,309
So how long you been a widow?
206
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,311
Little over eight years.
207
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:09,489
That's tough.
208
00:08:12,448 --> 00:08:14,232
Want to come with me
to a cop bar?
209
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:21,501
Since when do you bake pies?
210
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,633
Since the pastry chef
211
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:24,939
threw a hissy fit and quit.
212
00:08:25,026 --> 00:08:26,375
What happened?
213
00:08:26,462 --> 00:08:27,594
I got tired of
having sex with her.
214
00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:30,858
What do you mean,
"what happened?"
215
00:08:30,945 --> 00:08:32,424
Chef Rudy, we need
to hire a new pastry
chef right away.
216
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:35,210
And this time,
let's get a man.
217
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,342
Like that'll stop me.
218
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:40,432
You zig, I zag.
219
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,783
But you don't know anything
about desserts.
220
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,175
Well, up until recently,
221
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,089
I didn't know anything
about bisexuality,
222
00:08:45,176 --> 00:08:46,569
but I'm a quick study.
223
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,615
Right, Paul?
224
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,361
I, uh...
225
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:56,927
I texted you three times
last night.
226
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,450
I know.
227
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,495
Why didn't you
text me back?
228
00:08:59,582 --> 00:09:01,628
I was on a date.
229
00:09:01,715 --> 00:09:03,760
So? I was having dinner
with my in-laws--
230
00:09:03,847 --> 00:09:06,589
I still found the time.Gabriel,
231
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,199
you have a lovely wife.
232
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,288
Why can't you find
happiness at home?
233
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:13,074
It doesn't work that way
when you marry for money.
234
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:15,511
I don't know what to tell you.
235
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,557
I hear Chef Rudy
is experimenting.
236
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,429
Maybe you could find
happiness with him.
237
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:31,266
♪ ♪
238
00:09:31,353 --> 00:09:34,138
Who ate all my pudding?
239
00:09:34,225 --> 00:09:35,966
Wasn't me.
240
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,489
Okay, I'm out of here.
241
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,057
Mom, did you eat my pudding?
242
00:09:40,144 --> 00:09:41,929
Um, no.
243
00:09:43,191 --> 00:09:44,888
Maybe youate it.
244
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,412
Did I?
245
00:09:47,499 --> 00:09:50,459
I think
I'm losing my mind.
246
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,725
What's the story here?
Are you a lesbian now?
247
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:58,685
I'm going hiking with Adam.
248
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,296
Since when do you hike?I don't.
249
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,907
I'm faking it to please a man.
It's what we do.
250
00:10:04,995 --> 00:10:06,431
Hey, wait,
251
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:07,781
can I ask you something?
252
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:10,435
Yes. These areyour jeans.
253
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:13,656
No. I just need
some advice about Luke.
254
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,354
Oh. Really?
255
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:20,750
You want to talk
to your old mom?
256
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,709
That's great.
So, what's going on?
257
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:24,798
Ever since he found out
I'm pregnant,
258
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:27,365
he's afraid
to have sex with me.
259
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,893
Huh.
260
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,809
What else is going on?
261
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,245
Nothing. That's it.
262
00:10:37,332 --> 00:10:39,987
He's scared
he's gonna hurt the baby.
263
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,554
Right.
264
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,121
Sure.
265
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,557
So...
266
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:48,125
So, uh...
267
00:10:48,212 --> 00:10:52,347
I guess you could
explain to Luke that...
268
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,436
there are certain...
269
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:01,051
...sexual...
270
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,401
positions, um...
271
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:06,709
which would
allow him to...
272
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:07,579
I can't do this!
273
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,799
Google it!
274
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:15,283
I'm so glad
we can talk like this.
275
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,858
Hey, um, we're still
going slow, right?
276
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,294
Yeah.
Okay.
277
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,035
But even if we weren't,
278
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,471
I'm not doing it
in the freakin' woods.
279
00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:33,301
Right.
280
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:36,304
[thunder crashes]
281
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,567
Oh, that's not good.
282
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:39,655
We have time to get
back, don't we?
283
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:43,572
Um...
284
00:11:43,659 --> 00:11:45,095
No.
285
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,713
Hello?
286
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:54,975
Hey, I don't think
anybody's home.
287
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:55,932
Wait here.
288
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,020
Where are you going?
289
00:11:57,107 --> 00:11:58,500
Just wait!
290
00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:01,721
[glass breaks]
291
00:12:03,853 --> 00:12:05,637
Come on in!
292
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:09,554
I'm not really comfortable
with breaking and entering.
293
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,948
For you, it's just entering.
294
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:15,560
It's a good point.
295
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,999
You're luring me
into a life of crime here.
296
00:12:19,086 --> 00:12:21,044
Oh, don't worry.
297
00:12:21,131 --> 00:12:22,872
If the owners come back,
we'll just kill 'em.
298
00:12:24,482 --> 00:12:27,268
You know how
to make a fire?
299
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:31,489
Do I know how to make a fire?
300
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:35,580
You gotta admit, though,
301
00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:38,453
cabin in the woods, rainy night.
302
00:12:38,540 --> 00:12:39,541
It's kind of romantic.
303
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:43,414
Yes, yes, it is.
304
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:44,633
Excuse me.
305
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,468
Hi, Marjorie?
306
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:54,295
It's Christy.
307
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,687
So, listen,
308
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:59,300
I think God wants me
to get laid.
309
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:09,745
It's too bad we don't have
any marshmallows.
310
00:13:09,832 --> 00:13:11,965
Oh, but we do.
311
00:13:13,009 --> 00:13:14,576
Really?
312
00:13:14,663 --> 00:13:15,533
That's right.
A good Scout never leaves home
313
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,840
without a s'mores kit.
314
00:13:18,928 --> 00:13:20,712
Do you want...?
315
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,671
Uh, no, maybe later.
316
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:28,329
Uh! It is really
comfy here.
317
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:30,810
Yeah, yeah.
318
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,554
Are you mad at me?
319
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:39,427
Why would I be mad at you?
320
00:13:39,514 --> 00:13:42,996
I don't know.
'Cause we're not
taking advantage
321
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:43,648
of the comfy-ness.
322
00:13:46,390 --> 00:13:47,522
Is that an option?
323
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,698
No, it's not.
I checked.
324
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:52,919
Are youokay?
325
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:56,400
Yeah, yeah,
it's just not how
326
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,662
I usually do things.
327
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,143
What does that mean?
328
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,755
Well, in the past,
I would jump into bed
329
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,063
with a guy right away
'cause I was afraid
330
00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:10,675
if I didn't,
he'd... leave.
331
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:13,591
Why the heck
would anyone leave you?
332
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,985
You're-you're wonderful.
333
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:23,253
I didn't think so.
334
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,821
It's weird. I've never left
anyone I've slept with.
335
00:14:29,607 --> 00:14:32,175
What's this now?
336
00:14:32,262 --> 00:14:33,916
I always thought
it was such a miracle
337
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,136
that a woman
would have sex with me,
338
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,660
the least I could do was give
her the rest of my life.
339
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:42,142
You didn't actually
say that to them?
340
00:14:42,229 --> 00:14:45,841
[scoffs] That's a mistake
you only make once.
341
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:47,016
Unless you're me,
342
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:48,757
and then you do it
every time.
343
00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:53,762
Yeah, you know, maybe
it's good that we're waiting.
344
00:14:53,849 --> 00:14:57,679
Yeah, maybe.
345
00:15:03,859 --> 00:15:05,861
This is nice.
346
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,776
Sure is.
347
00:15:09,778 --> 00:15:12,999
Thank you for...
348
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:17,829
being so understanding.
349
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,616
You're welcome.
350
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,226
I'm a lucky girl.
351
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:25,837
Yep, very lucky.
352
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,931
If you're curious,
I can just show it to you.
353
00:15:38,328 --> 00:15:39,851
I'm just saying,
I walked in on my parents
354
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,680
having sex once
and it freaked me out.
355
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,508
This is not the same
thing at all.
356
00:15:44,595 --> 00:15:46,162
No, it's worse.
357
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,164
Our kid can't run out
of the room screaming.
358
00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,820
Hey!
359
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:54,910
Mom, tell Luke
that he can't hurt the baby.
360
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:59,088
Well, if I do that,
he'll have sex with you.
361
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,568
Stick to your guns, buddy.
362
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:01,873
[clicks tongue]
363
00:16:05,877 --> 00:16:07,836
I feel like
such an idiot!
Oh, honey,
364
00:16:07,923 --> 00:16:10,317
it's gonna be okay.
365
00:16:10,404 --> 00:16:12,797
No, it's not.
He's never gonna call.
366
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:14,538
Oh, it's only been a week.
367
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,106
Oh, wake up. If a man hasn't
called after three days,
368
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,542
he might as well be dead.
369
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:21,154
This is all your fault.
370
00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:22,590
What did I do?
371
00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,809
You told her
not to sleep with him,
372
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,289
and he took a hike.
373
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:27,943
Oh, hiking.
374
00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:29,945
You see that?
375
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:33,601
She took your advice, not mine,
and now she's devastated. I win.
376
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,820
Honey, it's good thing
you didn't sleep with him.
377
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:37,518
He's a jerk.
378
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,259
More bad advice.
379
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:41,565
If she'd slept with him,
she'd own the jerk by now.
380
00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:43,176
And is that
what you'd want?
381
00:16:43,263 --> 00:16:44,568
What's her other option?
382
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,266
I don't know, maybe
meet a nice guy.
383
00:16:46,353 --> 00:16:48,529
Oh, so when she cheats on him,
she's the jerk?
384
00:16:48,616 --> 00:16:50,574
Think it through, Marjorie.
385
00:16:50,661 --> 00:16:53,273
I'm gonna ignore you
because you're insane.
386
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,362
Christy,
387
00:16:55,449 --> 00:16:56,841
if a man won't wait
until you're ready
388
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:59,322
to share your secret garden,
389
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:02,412
he's not worth
a second of your time.
390
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:05,024
Secret garden?
391
00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:10,768
Holy Moses, how many cats
do you own?
392
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,597
Four.
393
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,557
[mouthing]
394
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,646
[mocking]:
"Oh sure, Christy,
395
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:22,998
I'm fine going slow 'cause I'm
never gonna call you anyway."
396
00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:26,393
Screw you, Scoutmaster!
397
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,525
I never want to see
your stupid face again!
398
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,922
I never want to see
your stupid face again!
What?
399
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,750
If I'd known you
were such a jerk,
400
00:17:35,837 --> 00:17:37,839
I would've had sex with you
all over that cabin!
401
00:17:37,926 --> 00:17:40,276
Once again, what?
402
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:41,886
Instead, I opened myself up
to you,
403
00:17:41,973 --> 00:17:43,801
I was totally vulnerable,
and I told you things
404
00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,194
that I never told anybody else!
405
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:46,891
And what do you do?
You blow me off!
406
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,284
Wait, hold on.
I didn't blow you off.
407
00:17:48,371 --> 00:17:49,590
You blew meoff.
408
00:17:49,677 --> 00:17:51,374
No, no, no, no!
You were the one
409
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,333
who did the blowing-- the
blowing was done by you!
410
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,552
Christy, did you ever get
the flowers?
411
00:17:55,639 --> 00:17:57,598
What flowers?
412
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:59,774
The ones I dropped off
at the restaurant
413
00:17:59,861 --> 00:18:00,905
the day after we went hiking.
414
00:18:00,992 --> 00:18:03,778
You sent me flowers?
415
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:07,956
Roses. With a note saying,
"I hike you."
416
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,874
Aw.
417
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,136
And when I didn't hear back
from you,
418
00:18:14,223 --> 00:18:15,442
I figured
you just weren't into me.
419
00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,139
I never got them.
420
00:18:17,226 --> 00:18:18,619
That's weird. I dropped 'em off
421
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,142
with a pasty-faced guy
in a nice suit.
422
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:21,012
He promised me
he'd give 'em to you.
423
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:27,976
I hike you, too.
424
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,806
Where are you going?
425
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:33,677
I'd tell you, but I know
426
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:34,287
that you're squeamish
about homicide.
427
00:18:34,374 --> 00:18:36,202
Call me!
428
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:42,860
Where are my
freaking flowers?
429
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:45,689
What are you talking about?
430
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,908
Don't screw with me!
431
00:18:46,995 --> 00:18:48,475
Adam said he
dropped 'em off
432
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,129
with a pasty-faced guy
in a nice suit.
433
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:52,043
Nice suit, pasty face!
434
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:57,658
I prefer fair-skinned, but okay.
435
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,268
Where are they?!
436
00:18:59,355 --> 00:19:00,313
Look, I know I should've
given them to you,
437
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,359
but I just got so jealous.
438
00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:05,492
Tell me!Oh, boy.
439
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,494
This is awkward.
440
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,365
You remember how you advised me
441
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:13,064
that I should work
on my relationship with my wife?
442
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,111
You gave my flowers
to your wife?
443
00:19:16,198 --> 00:19:18,069
If it makes you feel any better,
444
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:19,070
she still wouldn't sleep
with me.
445
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:22,639
[clears throat]
446
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,032
What's this?
447
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:24,946
What do you think it is?
448
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,165
Oh.
449
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:41,005
I owe you an apology.
This is delicious.
450
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:54,018
So, when are you seeing
the Boy Scout again?
451
00:19:54,105 --> 00:19:56,804
Next Saturday.
452
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:58,022
We're going fly-fishing.
453
00:19:58,109 --> 00:20:02,462
Whatever the hell that is.
454
00:20:02,549 --> 00:20:06,205
Your secret garden
still on lockdown?
455
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:10,252
If you mean am I choosing
to delay gratification
456
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:11,035
to ensure an emotionally
fulfilling relationship,
457
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,081
then yes.
458
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:16,040
And I don't want
to talk about it.
459
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,260
Fine. What about you?
460
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:22,656
Your boyfriend still afraid he's
gonna poke the baby's eye out?
461
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,355
He happens to be
462
00:20:26,442 --> 00:20:29,358
a very sensitive
and considerate guy. And...
463
00:20:29,445 --> 00:20:31,360
I don't want to talk
about it either.
464
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,410
All right. If no one's gonna ask
about me,
465
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,238
I'll just tell you.
466
00:20:39,325 --> 00:20:41,327
I went home with a vice cop
last night
467
00:20:41,414 --> 00:20:43,329
and, yes, I do want
to talk about it.
468
00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:45,766
Captioning sponsored by
CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
469
00:20:45,853 --> 00:20:47,028
and TOYOTA.
470
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:57,473
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
30719
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof