All language subtitles for Jonathan Creek Season 01 Episode 05 - House of Monkeys 720p WEB-DL HEVC x265 BONE

And what do you want?

Come to John's for breakfast?

Let's see what we've got for you today.

How about this for the appetizer?

Johnson?

No!

Come on, out with it.

Good boy.

Good boy!

Thank you, Elliot. It's bad enough that
he chews up half the newspaper.

And anything that's left in my in -tray.

He had an entire thesis on subdural
hematoma yesterday.

Anyway, it's an application for Barclay
Card. It's not carcinogenic.

Let's not prejudge the research on that
one.

You're not going into the lab today,
then?

This afternoon, possibly.

When I'm tired without this
presentation.

Well, just...

Keep the door locked in future.

Come on, Townsend, we're going.

Come on, good boy.

Come with me.

There's a good boy.

What did I tell you? It's all happening.

Yes, you like that, don't you? But I
haven't got all morning to sit

you.

Jordan. What?

Your wife has some good news.

Yes, wonderful.

The director and I were particularly
impressed by your interpretation of the

character as an intellectual vacuum.

What's that mean?

It means they liked the way you made her
empty -headed.

Right. Oh, right.

Well, maybe if for the next interview I
had my hair up more. Young lady, I swear

you're putting on weight.

It's normal during pregnancy.

Yes, I suppose.

Pregnant? Why?

What do you mean, why?

She's a sexually mature adult.

God knows we could do with a few around
here.

And soon the joys of parenthood will be
yours. Won't they, Polly?

All I can say is good luck.

Do we know who the father is?

Cathy, there are only two mangabees in
this house, and they only mate with

members of their own species.

You wouldn't copulate with a rangy tang,
would you?

Don't even dignify that with an answer,
please.

Wish we'd never started this
conversation.

Going late for the tour today?

First screening's not until 10 .30. I've
got an hour.

Someone you may know, actually.

Do you remember Dr Sally Creek, who was
in practice with me in that grotty old

porter cabin in Harlow in the early 70s?
I thought she emigrated.

She did.

This is her son.

I promised to give him a full MOT every
couple of years to make sure he's still

ticking over.

Well, doesn't he get embarrassed?

Stripping off in front of an old friend
of his mother's.

Oh, yes.

Last time I saw you, if I remember, you
were panicking about the moulds on your

back. Well, I... Probably.

How have they been?

Has somebody been keeping an eye on them
for you?

Not lately.

Oh, dear.

Has it been as bad as that?

Mouth wide open, tongue down.

If you were moving in these glamorous
show business circles, you'd make lots

young ladies.

A certain type, I suppose.

Must be difficult.

That's smashing. On to the bed now,
underpants down, lie back, think of

What was it your mother was telling me
the last time I rang about you

out some complicated murder case or
something?

Cough.

Yes.

I've been getting a bit of a habit.

Ever since I ran into the crime writer
woman.

Things seem to keep happening.

Unattached? What is?

This person.

Of course, you always did have that
inside -out way of looking at things,

makes you so good at what you do.

That's lovely.

On your side now. Knees up to your chin.

So, you've still got all your monkeys?

14 and 15th expected shortly.

Plus our son and his wife.

And they call it evolution.

How's the baby gorilla?

Not much of a baby these days.

You should come round and see us. It's
been a long time.

That's all, champion.

There's a tissue there if you need it.

Continuing.

Conclusions drawn on the mutative role
of apetotoxins in the aspergillus mold

the liver cells of turkeys.

Help me! Help me!

Help me!

Anyone

home?

Well, anywhere will do.

That'll be fine.

Thanks. I'll just get you a cake.

Elliot, do you have any change? I've got
nothing smaller than this to do for the

taxi driver.

Elliot?

Mother 105

and that's

coming up to three minutes now

You know, I don't think that's bad when
you think that I came up here at a fair

old lictus then.

What is that?

A pulse meter.

Clip it to your ear.

It measures your heart rate.

She said everything else was fine, but
my aerobic capacity is a little low and

need more exercise.

You're coming up eight flights a day. It
shouldn't really knack you, should it?

That doesn't make... Yeah, well, you'd
expect of... I mean, you're a lot

more...

Yeah?

Can you make the quick walk before
lunch?

The key's still in there, and the door
is solid as a rock.

How long would it take to cut through
that grill on the window?

Thank you so much for waiting for me.

I really appreciate it.

Is there any lock you can't pick your
way in through?

A little walk before lunch?

What the hell did you want to go all the
way up that hill for?

I said, are you on for a brief stroll to
the top?

And you said, I'll drink to that.

I said bollocks to that, which you'd
have heard if you hadn't gone striding

like a lunatic in a walking race.

If I keep stopping for you to catch up,
it's not continuous.

Irregular exercise has no beneficial
effect. Oh, shut up.

What?

No.

Jess, you know when you leave a beetroot
in the larder too long and it goes all

sweaty?

Don't push it, Jonathan.

Sorry.

Jonathan, great.

Ingrid, hi, how are you... Oh, my God.

What... How did...

This is strange.

Have you any idea why your husband would
have locked the door to his study in

the first place?

This particular ape, you may have
noticed we have quite a menagerie here,

taste for paper.

Just closing the door won't keep him
out.

I imagine that's why he locked it, to
protect his work.

And this suit of armour, or whatever it
is in there, the sword was...

Part of it?

It's an authentic 12th century samurai
battle dress.

He picked it up eight years ago on a
lecture tour of the Far East during his

anthropological phase.

Can I ask you not to sit like that? He's
reading it as a display of sexual

dominance.

Your husband enjoyed quite a high
profile in the field of...

Medical research.

Well, I don't know about enjoyed.

There are some very short -sighted
people in our society, Inspector, who

welfare of a laboratory mouse above a
treatment for tumours.

Because he believed in what he was
doing, and said so, he was not a very

figure with the so -called animal rights
fraternity.

It appears he was speaking into this
dictaphone when the attack took place,

seconds before he returned through the
front door.

Ma 'am?

to have a problem here, Mrs. Strange.

With the door still locked from the
inside, as it was, the fact that no one

could have left the room anyway without
you or the taxi driver seeing them, and

as we seem now to have eliminated any
panels or openings in the

walls... Inspector, the evidence is
there.

Someone was in his study and stabbed him
to death. Don't ask me how. Don't ask

me who.

And don't tell me the whole thing is
impossible.

I know it's impossible.

You're the detectives. You tell me how
it was done.

Because if you can't, maybe there's
someone else who can.

They'd be right the way round.

Every corner, every crevice.

The cupboard's a chock full of rubbish.

The chimney's been blocked off.

A rat couldn't get through.

There are four walls of solid brick
behind all this.

And there was no -one else here,
anywhere in the building.

Jordan was in the garden.

Cathy had gone shopping.

I wasn't working today. I just went to
the clinic to get some files.

Do you know what I really don't
understand?

Is how the hell I'm coping.

It's as if I've been given a pain
-killing injection.

Everything is numb.

Whoever did this... We're all wondering
how they could have got out of the room,

but how did they get in here in the
first place?

The window was barred.

The walls are all solid.

Unless, of course, they were in here
already when he went to lock the door.

So he couldn't see them.

The police had the same idea.

They took the whole thing to bits and
then put it together again.

Not very successfully.

Pretty hefty gash here.

In the death.

Well, the killer went for him, probably.
He dodged out the way.

Hmm. The body was over there.

But there's blood on the desk as well.

They're all struggled between the pair
of them by the look of it.

But these books... would have come from
that pop shelf?

Look as if they've been used as missiles
or something.

Like they've been thrown across the
room.

And why?

Out of all this lot, why pick three
books from his shelf he could have

reached?

Unless he didn't.

And they flew across the room on their
own.

Can I say two words here, if anyone's
listening?

Amityville horror.

Why don't you go and see to Cathy?

That sedative will be wearing off now.

You know I'm right.

You just can't face the truth.

You see why I need someone else here.

Someone from the planet Earth.

Night seems to have stolen up on us.

You'll stay over, won't you?

Both of you.

It feels like we're teetering on the
edge of reality.

I really don't want to fall off.

Why isn't someone doing something?

Instead of just sitting here, I mean,
it's dead, and we're just... sitting

For God's sake, Elliot's been murdered!

And what have they said?

I can't believe it.

One policeman.

How's he going to find the killer
standing out there?

Are you watching?

All he does is wander about by the gate.
What does he think, the killer's going

to walk past? I mean, it's a joke.

Cathy, that's just a duty constable
posted there to keep away reporters and

sightseers. The CID are carrying out a
thorough investigation, I promise you.

Well, what have we got?

Some books that fell off the top shelf.
A suit of armour that was completely

empty. It doesn't exactly shout at you.

I don't know.

How it was done is a puzzle.

But what really stumps me is why.

If, even for the sake of argument, your
husband killed himself and wanted to

make it look like murder, he's not going
to do it in a hermetically sealed room.

It completely defeats the object.

Equally, if whoever killed him wanted to
make it look like suicide, somehow

rigged up the locked room, why stab him
in the back?

And why leave that dictaphone behind?

which he must have known proved he'd
been attacked.

Well... Early night, I think. Sleep on
it.

Might just get the rest of those books
down tomorrow, do a final check on the

shelves.

And I'll say goodnight.

Yes. Goodnight.

Night.

I know exactly what you're thinking.

The thought came out of the wall.

On some sort of mechanism.

Probably from behind those books on the
top shelf.

Shot across the room, somehow, and got
him in the back.

Surely the saw was on the soup farmer.

Just wait a sec.

The person he was shouting at was on the
phone.

They weren't in the room at all. They
were on the phone.

Making some sort of... Terrible threats.

Which means it could have been any one
of the three of them. His wife or one of

those other two, dumb and dumber.

But if he was on the phone when the
sword hit him, how come the receiver had

been replaced?

I'll tell you something else.

I think Elliot Strange was having an
affair with his daughter -in -law.

Based on what?

I just got a strong feel.

There was more to all those tears
tonight.

You can see our own marriage has gone to
the pictures. All that guff from him

about... paranormal forces.

There's definitely something going on in
this house under the surface we're not

seeing.

It's a problem of the heart.

Shall I get in?

If you want.

I think I can't get my head round.

If the sword missed him, when he caught
the edge of the death, why was there

blood there?

I just can't work out where it's all
leading.

We're in bed together, Jonathan.

What is it?

Sorry?

This thing that messes your pulse.

What have you got this on for?

In bed?

I... I just... Oh, you bastard.

What?

Is that what you were going to do?

Keep a check on your heart rate while we
were having sex?

I just have to be careful I don't
overload it, that's all.

Overload it?

Thank you.

Whatever you do, don't make love to me
without a heavy goods licence.

How dare you assume that I was going to
walk in here and just get into

bed with you?

But you did. That is irrelevant. You
have no right to assume it.

Well, you can just bugger off right now
and let me get some sleep.

But this is my room. And I'm not in the
mood for any more smart -ass logic. Just

go.

gone up to one two five now get out

It just went... I don't know.

What?

Ape shit.

Where?

Don't try to move anything.

It's OK. No, I just took a tumble.

It just came at me.

Almost like it was... Was there?

You invent conjuring tricks.

All right.

Is that what you're going to do?

Work out how this was done so we'll all
be totally amazed.

But you're not going to bring him back
to life, are you?

No, Cathy.

We're not going to do that.

That is weird.

Weird as weird can be.

What is?

A footprint.

What?

There's another one here.

Someone's been climbing up these
shelves.

Hello?

Uh,

no.

She's up and about now if you want to
talk to her.

Half past.

Right. Yes, I'll tell her.

Bye.

Where are you going?

I'm going to have a poke a bite in her
room. Give me a shout if she comes back

in.

I'm not too sure she'd thank you for
this.

I'm damn sure she wouldn't.

What's happening now?

I think we'd better go downstairs.

I never knew you kept a diary.

There's a lot you don't know, Jordan.

You want to read that?

You're a journalist.

I suppose you did shorthand.

October 15th.

At long last.

E and I had fantastic thoughts.

Imagine that's meant to say sex.

What does it say?

Actually, they're thoughts, but we won't
quibble.

Oh, really?

I did two years at secretarial. I think
I know the difference between sex and

sex. I would... Afterwards, as we lay
knackered next

to each other... Naked, it says.

I'm sorry, if we're being accurate, it
says knackered. For naked, your outline

would be completely different.

He and I had sex. Why is this a crime?

The I doesn't stand for Ingrid, Jordan.

Doesn't stand... You're making this up.

I wish you was.

What do you mean?

How? I may be a wizened old bat in your
eyes, Cathy. That doesn't mean I'm as

blind as one.

Some other time, I'll give you a lesson
in subliminal bonding gestures.

Oh, for God's sake.

I'd seen it coming for months. I'd
almost say he needed it to flush it out

his system.

Afterwards, when he told me and all the
guilt came out, he threw himself on my

mercy. You're lying!

Never tell, Cathy.

You have the body of a woman and the
brain of a sexually stunted newt.

I can't get my head round this. On top
of everything else... Jordan!

My wife was sleeping with my father.

One, Jordan.

Perfect tense.

And can't you see that you were as
responsible as she was?

If you would only take your marriage by
the scruff of the neck between you and

make it work.

How did this happen?

Where did it happen?

Not in this house.

In this very house. Where?

Can't you guess?

No way, Cathy, you didn't. Oh, for God's
sake, does it matter?

Not in a swivel chair.

We set it to maximum tilt.

The hydraulics were wonderful.

With my father?

In my chair?

How could you do that to me?

Oh, right!

Then how do you think I felt?

Losing my husband to a bloody monkey?

The fingerprints on the sword have now
been identified. Right.

They all belonged to your husband.

Well, if he picked it up off the floor
the other morning, that's hardly

surprising.

Is that all?

The circumstances here are unusual, to
say the least.

You can't expect the solution to just
suddenly fall out of the sky.

Mrs Strange, according to your
statement, you went to the town

some clothes.

If you wouldn't mind telling us which
doors exactly you visited.

Well, I didn't kill him.

For God's sake, I wasn't even here.

As you say, which is why you can let us
know exactly where you were.

Why can't you think I could have killed
him? No -one's accusing you of anything

at this stage. At this stage? But you
will.

If I can't make account of my
movement... Cathy, this is just a matter

elimination.

She's very emotional.

I'd say that you've got a moment.

Or him, if you're looking for a reason.
They had every reason, both of them.

I wouldn't put it past them either. You
see all the irrational hysteria coming

out? Where have we all seen that before?

Two words.

Fatal attraction.

Am I right? If I could just butt in for
a moment... Your statement will simply

be compared with everyone else's. Oh,
right. It's not as if I'm the one that's

on trial here or anything, because you
can't even take my word for it.

If you've got nothing better to do with
your time that's now insinuating that

I... I know who murdered him.

If anyone's interested.

A set of footprints on the shelves.

What was that all about?

Someone had climbed up this bookcase,
and there's a perfectly good set of

over there.

Taken three books from the top shelf,
hurled them across the room.

Does that make sense to anybody?

Then I realised that was the whole
point.

It doesn't have to make sense.

Well, that was most illuminating, Mr
Creek.

Now, if we could just get back to our
questioning.

I think there may be more.

There was no sense either in that
gorilla suddenly going off its rocker,

headfirst off the balcony when the day
before it had been as nice as pie.

So what was there connected these two
acts of total madness?

About half an hour ago, in this room, I
found it.

That he'd signed on the inside.

All sealed up and ready to be sent off
by someone called Teresa Tolling.

Does that name mean anything to anyone?

Apart from the fact it's an anagram of
Elliot Strange, obviously.

Which probably means there's no such
person and no such dress.

An anagram made up by who?

Exactly.

From the fact it's been folded and this
isn't his handwriting, it's obviously a

stamped address job that someone had
sent him.

The envelope for which is still down
there in the bin.

Huge fan of your work.

If you'd kindly sign the enclosed and
return it to me,

I'd be the envy of all my colleagues.

Oh, my God.

I think I'm beginning to see.

You see it now?

So... Well, earlier today... Exactly.

..I went to Samson's. They were both...
Precisely. Yes, thank you.

If you have got something to tell us,
will you, for God's sake, spit it out?

If they'd done that, they might still be
alive.

Spit... What?

If you ask yourself, what did Dr Strange
do that Samson the gorilla also did?

Looking at how chewed up and bitten into
this is.

They've both tasted the gummed flap on
this envelope.

The second I realised, it frightened me
to death.

How easy it is for any lunatic to commit
a long -distance murder. You don't need

a letter bomb, just some pretext for
them to lick a stamped -addressed

that you've sent them.

You could put anything on the sticky
bit.

Poison.

In this case, from the effect it had
both times...

I'd say a particular kind of poison,
like some sort of bad acid.

Something that was always going to kill
him, but was going to turn his brain

inside out along the way.

You're saying some animal rights
activist could have put something

on the flap of that envelope?

I'd say they got hold of some dodgy
stuff.

It's fatal in the right dose. Excuse me?

My father was found in a locked room
with a sword in his back.

How do we explain that?

I've looked at it every which way.

No one else could have got into this
study.

And no one could have got out.

It may be that there's another sequence
that could explain it all.

So far, I can only come up with one.

Dr. Strange had locked the door to make
sure he wasn't disturbed.

First off, he deals with his morning
mail.

Signs the book someone sent him.

Licks the flap to seal the envelope.

Maybe it tastes a bit funny, but he's
not going to read anything into that.

He's not going to know he's just
swallowed some lethal hallucinogenic

Only now it's just a matter of time
before he starts tripping out.

The end things aren't there.

Continuing.

Conclusions on the mutative role of
erythritoxins and aspergillus mold in

liver cells of turkeys.

Oh, my God.

Hello? Hello?

Tumbling off the shelves, onto that
blade, had to be an accident.

Something the killer, no one could have
foreseen.

The drug was the murder weapon.

The sword, a rather horrible bonus.

Elliot, do you have any change? I've got
nothing smaller than this to you for

the taxi drugs.

Something set that gorilla off.

We all saw it.

I just think it's too much of a
coincidence otherwise. It has to be the

envelope.

At some point, later in the evening, it
went back in the study, looking for a

snack.

So,

if poor old Samson hadn't chewed his
paper... Hang on.

You said that's a made -up name.

Were you ever going to trace the person
that sent it?

What was interesting about the address
on the envelope the killer sent was the

name of the street.

Here, look.

Polo Park Lane.

When it should have been Pool Park.

Polo instead of pool.

Two letters transposed like that. It's
as good as me typing it.

Except it's been written by hand.

But it could have been copied from
something that had been mistyped in the

place.

If someone wanted to kill a famous
scientist and wanted to find out where

lived, they'd... write to his
publishers?

Who would simply forward it here?

They'd never give out his address to the
public, any more than Elliot would when

he wrote back.

He knew how many cranks there were out
there.

as I discovered when I checked his
files.

So what if they wrote to someone else in
the house who wasn't so careful?

Cathy Strange, actress, daughter -in
-law of Elliot Strange, would

receive a fan letter sent on by her
agent from someone who knew she lived in

same house.

She'd write back.

A little thank you.

Address at the top of the page.

Except she mistypes Pool Park Lane as
Polo Park Lane.

And I'm afraid that's exactly what
happened.

On October 7th, you wrote to Alistair
Tyree of Nantwich in Cheshire.

Alfaga House, 17, Polo Park Lane.

Could be an almighty coincidence.

But...

His saliva checks out against that
envelope.

And you find he's a paid -up
liberationist with known drug

You wouldn't be at all surprised.

I wouldn't, actually.

Within three days, forensic
investigation confirmed 23 -year -old

unemployed graduate with previous
convictions for violent radical activity

drug trafficking, as the missing link in
the strange case of Elliot Strange and

the House of Monkeys.

And once again, the probing lateral
brain of Jonathan Creek had pierced the

of darkness, restoring reason to another
seemingly impossible mystery.

All right.

I know it's cheesy and tacky and corny,
but it also sells books and it's going

to get me in the shops.

It's all right for you. You've got a
secure income, but I need the dosh.

It'd be different if I wasn't on my own.

I've had someone else to support me and
everything.

You're right. I'm being selfish.

We came that close when we were at that
house.

Doing it.

And then I got all bitsy and blew up
again.

Sorry about that.

It's all right.

What do you mean?

It's all right.

You think I was bitchy?

Come on, you were thinking, what an
utter bitch. What is it with you?

You can never say the right thing, can
you? Never.

I didn't mean... Can we start again?

No.

I'm right off the boil now.

110 lying down? You've got to get some
exercise.