All language subtitles for Euphoria2012.s01ep05

Previously: We talked in the app.

Is she serious?
Fuck!

This must be a mistake.
What if I was drunk?

You're a virgin. No experience
with sex, sex, sex.

Once.

As soon as you get fucked,
boom, you will understand.

Your anxiety about sex will be gone.

Mastoli, where are you going?

What's your name?
Mastoli.

Would it be a problem if I
stayed with you for a while?

Which girl do you feel comfortable with?
What about Mona?

She is a maid.
On the contrary, she is cosmopolitan.

He will cook, you will take,
and I will record. The world will watch.

Each day, a new drug?
You won't regret it.

Is that how he likes to sleep?
He loves to sleep.

How long have you known him?
We met at a party at the Titanic.

I was on a date with some fucking...
Yizhar the maniac.

He was there with his friend.

Heard of "Mirando El Silo?"
What's that? "The way of death."

Thank you for growing up.
I thought you would like it.

Sorry dude.
Where are you?

Hello.
Is Naama home?

She went to "Mirando El Silo."

You cannot go to "Mirando El Silo."

Should I ask them?
Sure, try them.

Hello. Hello.
How are you?

Doing ok.

We want to get to the jungle, to the
lagoon in the middle of the road.

Do you know how we can get there?

Come on.

Get in.

People always ask: How? How? How?

What do they want to know?
What do they Google the most?

The most popular searches are:
"How to tie a tie."

"How to commit suicide."
"How to be beautiful."

"How to write a resume."
"How to fall in love."

"How to train a dog."
"How to write a song."

"How to win the lottery."
"How to break into a house."

"How to pluck eyebrows."
"How to knit."

"How to calculate percentages."
"How to put on in a tampon."

"Play poker, hallucinate, whistle,
kiss, make a woman orgasm."

"Fix a shoe, kill a tree,
kill a fish, take revenge."

"Build a gun, choose a refrigerator,
organize a closet, put on a condom."

Reload, restart, recover, relief.

Have you forgotten that desire
is more fun than achievement?

To want to die...
The desire to please is dead.

How to make her fall in love with you.

How to kill someone.

Euphoria

One. Yes, sir! Two. Yes, sir!
Three. Yes, sir! Four. Yes, sir!

Do you have a rash on your hands?

Do you have swelling in the larynx?

Do you have stinky breath?
Do you have stinky sex organs?

You can't just...swing dildo.

A love swing can give your back support
and straps to keep open your partner's leg.

First, you should connect your
harness with two screws.

To have a flexible, open position.

The swing can handle up to 110 kilograms.

For Kama Sutra, and other fantasies,

Recommended: a special velvet cushion.

Today, at the request of the viewers...

At a kitchen store, we bought
canisters for making whip cream.

And, on the internet, we
bought a gas pump converter.

We mix nitrous oxide with
oxygen, half and half.

The resulting gas blocks
stimulant responses.

AN2O has a uniform, covalent bond.

650 views! In a year we
could reach 70 million!

Almost no series reach that.

Do you know what the problem is?
You're stuck here.

You cook for everyone on the
internet. You're the head, bro.

Smile a little. Your ratings are good.
Move.

No one is going to get
rich from ratings. Give up.

You are scared and you see everything
as numbers and precents, right?

Tell me, what percentage
do you have with Hofit?

I'm curious. Just between
friends, how much?

50%? Less?
What does it have to do with you?

Stop and think about it.
Ask yourself, "How much ass do I get?"

What percentage do I have?
What do you think? 30?

Maybe 20 percent, bro?
Twenty percemt?

Maybe fifteen percent, bro?
Enough!

Zero percent.

You don't have "the stuff."

And you have no idea what
she is going through.

I know everything.

You know nothing.

What's up, YouTube sensation?
We are flying toward 70 million views.

What do our viewers want today?

The most popular vote is...

...for a GSS drug.
Torture? Torture?

They are curious about forcing
the truth with a drug.

No way. What else?

What? Why not?
Because.

The subscriber's vote dominates.

They voted.

I hope the ceiling doesn't fall.

You know, Mona...

I think a lot about when I grow old
and tell stories to young ladies...

I'll tell her:

"You know, I used to have
someone just like you."

"She was, beautiful, beautiful."

"We would have fun and get
into lots of nonsense."

She probably won't believe
me. She will think...

This old man has a vivid imagination.

Then, I'll tell her, "In my life I was..."

"Hot like fire. I was a celeb."

They'll give you a sedative to make
you quiet. Then you won't think.

Look. Now I'll fuck you.

Who's there? Police!

Fuck!

Heppiness...

Heppiness, please. Please,
you have to do something.

Heppiness, please. Ok,
Mona. Just one second.

Don't cry. Come on, we know what to do.

Yes?

Roi Kahlon, immigration police.
I hope we're not interfering.

My parents aren't home. So, I...

I would like to exchange a few
words with you. Just a chat.

My dad is a lawyer so...
Can I come in?

I'm asking you to come back
with an order, please.

Nothing will be done
without your consent.

Luxury.

Can I sit? Yeah, sure.
Thanks.

Do you know what I have here?
An iPad?

What is your name?
Heppiness Gimpel.

I have a list of undocumented
foreign workers in this area.

And as you can see...

Most of the names are crossed out
because we apprehended them.

But I have a name of
someone located here.

Mona Lisa Lombao.

No, doesn't sound familiar.

Who sleeps here?
Nobody.

My grandmother was.
Is she dead?

In a nursing home. We had to
send her to a nursing home.

Can I perhaps offer you some
compensation for the hassle?

Nothing.

I feel sorry for you.

What? Why do you feel sorry for me?

You have no future here.

Mona Lisa? Mona Lisa?

Mona Lisa, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
Come on.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Mona Lisa. I'm sorry.

Did your parents dump you here?
I dumped myself.

I told them, �Say one more
derogatory thing to me..."

"...you will lose your son."
That's incredible.

Then, the day after,
I left forever.

I packed my suitcase in the middle of
the night. I didn't even say goodbye.

I wanted to hurt them.
And? Did it hurt them?

What did they do?
I don't know because I left.

Uriel?
Yes, sir.

How are you? How do you feel?
Excellent, sir.

Good, I'm glad to hear it.

Look, I'll be honest. I'm...

I'm not sure what to do with you.
What do you mean?

I have to kick you out.
You aren't a trainee here.

Ok, then I'll do the training.
For love of my country.

You will not be disappointed.

This school only accepts
high school graduates.

You never graduated high school.

My high school didn't want me.
That is another problem.

It was a different time
and I didn't fit in.

But I think this place
is good for me.

You understand that you...

Not exactly military material.
I'll become military material.

I...I don't think that's possible.

I want this.

Sorry.

I have nowhere else to go.

Come by my office after lunch.

Samuel?
Yes, sir.

Clean this place up.

You ok?

Are you doing ok?

The recording is started.

We burn ethanol, scopolamine, ...

...and also an anesthetic
solution, sodium thiopental.

The result will disrupt your judgement
and cognitive abilities.

You are forced to take off any social
"masks" and can only speak the truth.

Impossible to tell a lie?
Impossible.

Who asks the questions?
Our subscribers.

We will fulfill our subscriber's dreams.

Hey.

Will you forget the shit, Mona Lisa?

Maybe sex?

Oh, I'm such a jerk. I'm sorry,
I don't have any other ideas.

Will you really be so sad to leave us?

Fuck, that's flattering.
I'm flattered.

Well, I don't think they
will put you in jail.

Maybe for just a few days but then
they will take you to the airport.

Then you can fly to another country.
What's wrong with that?

Then it will be a few more years
until you are caught again.

It can also be fun. Just think about
moving from place to place.

Why get stuck in one country?

This situation is tactless
and really shitty.

Believe me, Israel is
shit. Don't stay here.

You could be a barmaid or masseuse.

I'm sorry.

Hey?

Haifa, what are you cooking?

I'm worried about you, friend.

In a few seconds, it will turn yellow.

Why is he asleep? He's tired.

Eat some garlic so the
mosquitoes don't eat you.

Here, eat.

There are so many mosquitoes!
There are much more than mosquitos here.

There are crocodiles, anacondas,
fire ants, spiders...

All wild animals.

That's why I don't like
to go into the jungle.

Tigers will attack you
while you take a shit.

They attack your neck first.

Do you know how to shit?
...to shit?

What is he saying?
He asks if we know how to shit.

Two people, back-to-back
with a flashlight in hand.

What do you need the commander for?

We were told he would
lead us to "Mirado El Silo."

Have you heard about it?
No, no, I've heard of it.

I'm thinking of visiting.
They say it's like heaven.

But the only problem is that you have
to go through the "Way of Death."

Why is it called the "Way of Death?"

Back-to-back with a flashlight in hand...

For many reasons.

Because they used to drag the prisoners
of war to that cliff there.

...and lead them to their deaths.

Also because of the Klandstein-
Marxist organization.

Capitalists are murderers.

We are not capitalists.
I hope not.

Here, take this.
Who wants to know the truth?

To life. To life. To life.

Good...

Have you ever met your dream lover?

Have you ever shaved your head?

Ever hit a tree with your car?

Ever hang out with a bunch of neo-Nazis?

Have you ever tried to
get lost in the wild?

Who is so enthusiastic?
Ever smoke 50 grams in the evening?

Have you ever fired a weapon?

It was for a movie. It still counts.

Your mom is mad because you got high?

Are you for real? That
isn't even a question.

Yeah.

Ever dated anyone of another race?

How did you date someone of another race?

What's wrong? I've dated a non-Arab.

My first taste of another race...

In my boarding school,
there were foreign chicks.

I liked to shower because
I had the best hair.

Everyone could smell my shampoo.

My girlfriend had the most amazing laugh.

What happened?

Someone wrecked my life.

What happened? She had an affair
at this shitty summer camp.

So I broke up with her.

Until then, I never even looked at
another chick at summer camp.

There were plenty of other chicks to date.

The next morning...

The guy who stole my girlfriend
took my suitcase...

And threw it out a second-floor window.

All my clothes and belongings go flying.

The asshole shouts at me from the
window, "Get out of here, bastard!"

So I pick up all my stuff.

And place it back into my suitcase.

...and run away before
the asshole kills me.

So where did you end up sleeping?

On a terrace in Moshe Dayan.

With some junkies hooked on crystal meth.

Oh, come on.

At the end, did you get over
losing your girlfriend?

Yes.

I met Hofit a year ago.

She took me off the streets.

She treated me with respect.

I am...

Mona Lisa would do me in
front of the TV in my room.

I'm afraid I'll probably lose Mona Lisa.

It looks like they are going to deport her.

Can you do anything about it?

I don't know. She just cries when I try
to talk to her. I don't know what to do.

Wouldn't your parents
be left without a maid?

They will probably hire a new maid soon.
I don't want a new maid.

She's good for me.

She is quiet and discreet.
What?

Marry her.

May God forgive you. God is racist.

Look, I can hire you on as staff.
Your job would be logistics.

A job? A job.

Have you ever had a job?
No.

I think you will enjoy working here.
I'm sure of it, sir.

Are you religious?
Not really.

Are you traditional?
I would not say traditional, sir.

Do you observe basic commandments?
Kosher food? The sabbath?

I'm not sure.
Are you a Jew? Yes.

Perfect. You will work with
Rabbi Sergeant Marki Smogura.

He is in charge here. You
will be his assistant. Me?

Yes. He is the supervisor of
kosher and religious officers.

Thank you, sir.

You need help?

What happened? What do you have?
Are you bored?

Are you sick?

If I ever see a doctor, they will tell me.

Do we know each other?

We met at a party at the Titanic.
You were there with Stoli.

Remember me?

Stoli? We are good friends.

Sometimes he stays the night with me.

We're not a couple, just friends.

Would you give me your address? If you
would like a visit, I would be happy.

Sure, if I live.
One moment.

He's an Arab.

Here. Feel better soon.

Does he work here?

All Arabs work in a hospital.
Didn't you know?

Open up.

Well, I'll have to do
some more blood tests.

Do you want me to "wait outside?"
Yes, a little more.

Why didn't you take the drug?

I'm not taking anything. At least not
until the next time I get a drug test.

Why didn't you take the drug?

I can tell you what you want
even without you telling me.

What do you want to know?
Ask me anything.

Want to hear something real?

You are the most beautiful
girl I have ever seen.

Ask me something. Anything.

I don't have to take drugs for this.

I can't lie to you.

What do you want to know?

Can you build a wall for
me, to be like Keno?

Like Keno? He just sleeps.

Is that what you want?
To rot your life away?

Does he look like he is suffering?
He looks like he is dead to me.

He's alive, just not here.
Can you do that for me, too?

He's wrong, Hofit.
He's wrong.

What's wrong?
That he sleeps a lot?

Take a sleeping pill. They give
me nightmares. I want happy dreams.

If you're afraid of nightmares, stay awake.
I also have nightmares when I'm awake.

You are young and have time to
recover from your nightmares.

There are a few things you need to
think about before entering a coma.

Don't you want to graduate?
Start a career? Go to college?

Um...no.

To have fun? To travel?
To fall in love?

Is this an offer?

Can you help me? Can
you make me like Kino?

Hello. I'm looking for
Sergeant Shuki Smogura.

Oh, you're my new assistant. Thank God.

What's your name?
Uriel.

Uriel what?
Mastoli.

Take a seat.

Sorry about that...this.

Are you Jewish?
I'm Austro-Hungarian.

You don't look it.
Is that good or bad?

That was a racist question.

I didn't mean...
Forgive me.

Are you Moroccan?
Why do you ask?

I just love Moroccans.
They are cool.

I hate Moroccans.
Sorry.

We can teach you everything you need to
know for the job. I'm a fast learner.

What kind of dog is this?
Ginger, he...

He will not interfere
with my job performance.

Good. I'm supervisor of
kosher and religious officers.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Mastoli.

I have a good feeling about you.
Welcome aboard.

Thank you.

I know what needs to be done.

I will marry you.

Don't worry, I know
what you're thinking.

You don't want to ruin my career.

Ok, people don't really like their
stars to marry maids. That's true.

It's a bit of a turn-off.

Even for casual fans,
it's a turn-off.

Fuck it, Mona Lisa, who cares?

I'm already married. I have
a husband in Nigeria.

What do you mean, "married?"

Really? Since when?

12 years.

But you've been working
for us for 5 years.

How long have you not
seen him? 6 years.

And do you love him?
He's my husband.

Shit.

Randy and Rosemary. Twins.

Fuck!

I just thought...

For the immigration papers, you know.

I'm registered as married
in all the papers.

But thanks. It's very kind
of you. Thank you, Osher.

I'm already thinking of something.
Don't worry, ok?

You've been lying to me for 5 years.

No, that's not true.
Are you playing with me?

No, I'm sorry. You have a husband,
and you hide him from me?

You're taking advantage of me to save
your ass? Who do you think you are?

Honestly, no.
Go, go! Take your stuff!

Take your stuff already!
Take it and go!

Well, leave already!
You disgust me! Leave!

Go already! I'm humiliated!

Go back to your husband and laugh
at me together. Well, go!

Go already, you bitch!
Go, you liar!

Noy Eden to room 314.

Noy? What?
Come on.

Listen, the flu will pass within
a day or two. No worries.

But there is a problem with
one of your blood tests.

It's not conclusive, but
we can't rule it out.

We'll try it again just to
double check. Check what?

HIV.

What's that?

It's an immune failure
virus which causes AIDS.

Whatever.

Well, we have arrived.

Now pay attention.

The commander's lake is hidden
among the high mountains.

Something like 900
meters elevation, ok?

As you get closer, you will
hear more birds chirping.

The first chirp is strong, followed
by two weak chirps. Ok?

Follow the voices.

Thank you and goodbye.
Good luck.

As the commander of the lake...

Hey, where's your backpack?

I didn't get it off the boat.

The tent, too.

how to stop loving

No results found.

What do you want?

I need something that is not on the site.

There is no such thing as "no."

What if we run out of food?
We eat leaves.

And if not...
shut up!

Pick anything, on the house.

What's this? Paralysis.

The truth is, I would love to do porn.

I can't change. We will fix you.

How? Where there is a
will, there is a way.

Do you want to?

Sorry.