All language subtitles for usepov.26.06.07.ashlyn.peaksfgsfdsf.mp3

Uh, no, I'm not kidding. Both my stepsons got into the old

Ivy League. College. I didn't have to bribe anybody.

I know, I'm just— Yo, what's good, bro? How you

doing? I'm good. What's up? What's up, dude? Hey, are you going to head out to that party this night? You know what I'm talking

about? Of course. This is the 10th time you have been— you're asking me? Come on now, bro. Come on, I just got to

make sure, man. You're my fucking boy, dude. We got to run shit. You're my stepbrother. We live together. Come

on now, we know. Still, bro, I know sometimes you can flake on me though. Just want Making sure, dude. You're

right, you're right. No, but you chill. But come on, I'm not gonna leave you here. Come on, I'm gonna go out with you.

So how's that— how's that chick, the one that you are going out with?

Right, she's kind of fucking fired, dude. She's kind of fucking fire, man. Did you hit it

yet? Did I hit it yet, brother? Of course I'm gonna hit that shit. Who the fuck you think I am?

I know. And how's your, um, uh, football thing going on? Yeah, man,

football thing's going pretty fucking good. But I mean, how about you and your shit, man? Oh, it's going pretty great, bro. You know,

that's how we're gonna get into that fucking college. Bro, Ivy League, come on, big thing. A little me about

that, bro. I already fucking know that shit. That shit gonna be fire though. I can't wait to get in there, you know

what I'm saying? Yeah, bro. No, same, same, same. Hey, real quick, are you gonna record

it? You already know that I will, and that's how we're gonna get in. Now you know what, get the fuck out of here so I can

record it, you know. Let me do my thing. How we do it? All right, we don't think it's like cheating or anything though right now,

right? Like, now come on, leave it, leave it up to me. Come on, you know I'm the GOAT. All right,

brother. Yeah, I trust you. I'm— I'll see you later. You guys

might find out later this week, but we found out today.

As much as we were, hopefully.

Yeah, they both got in perfect every single time.

Mhm. No, they've always been that way. Now they're going to be

even great. Yes, next year.

Mhm. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, no, nothing. It's just, it's going to be a busy week.

Lots of parties, lots of initi— we have to do everything. We just found out.

Mhm.

I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out. They're both

really, really smart, very attentive, very eager, so they should be fine.

No, go ahead, I'm listening to you. Yes, I know, I'm the best

multitasker in our class. Mm-mm,

no, not at all.

No, just going to get ready for it.

Mm-hmm. Oh, yours too?

Oh, sorry, I dropped you. Hold on.

All right, I'm back. Go ahead.

Mm-hmm. Mm. Oh, is it good?

Mm-mm.

No, you know that I'll be there anytime.

Mhm. Mhm. Yeah, just let me know.

Mhm. Girl, no, that was senior year.

That was the year. Mhm. Mhm.

Mm, I get that.

Mom.

Mm-hmm.

Yes, they are spoiled, just like yours.

I should have the paperwork somewhere.

No,

I'm

really busy today. I can't.

Mhm. That happened Tuesday. Mm,

now what did he say?

Oh

wow, I can't relate to that one, but

I've never experienced that.

Mm-hmm. Oh no,

I

know.

Mm-hmm. Hold on one second, sweetie. Are you recording?

Mm, yeah, it's for a school project. The— wait, for Rush

Week? Yeah, I guess. Why?

I know an initiation ritual when I see one, okay? I had to do the

exact same thing when I got into Kappa.

Sorry, Mom, I should have told you. Yeah, yes, you should have.

Sorry about that. Go ahead. I'm

listening.

No, he's— it's for a school project. He's— he was just telling me about it.

Mhm. No, I just got to make sure that they're ready.

It should be fine.

No, my boys, my boys will be ready.

Yeah, they're working on everything right now.

Mm-hmm. Right. No,

I'll have to let you know about that part.

All right, so When my mom gets hot, she likes to kind of walk around this place

just in her fucking lingerie. So I went ahead and turned off that AC.

Let's see if I can give myself a little bit of luck today,

huh?

Why is it so hot in here? I don't know, but you're

right, it's pretty toasty. It's so fucking hot. Ah,

I need this. All right, listen, your brother told me

about the initiation. I am so proud of my boys. Oh, thanks,

Mom. Of course. All right, come over here and sit with me. I'm gonna make you guys some lunch.

Okay.

So, all right, so before I make you guys lunch,

listen. I used to, uh, back in the

day, so I have some advice for you guys, and I need you to listen really, really

carefully, okay? Damn, okay.

Listen, you need to make sure that you're not speeding around campus, okay?

Oh, okay, okay. Also, the girls. Don't forget the girls. You have

to be really careful which ones you're messing with, which ones you're not. Make sure you get to class on

time. Just don't do anything, you know, like stupid. Wait,

are girls like that serious to worry about? You know what I'm talking about. They can

be. You have the crazy ones and you have the

really crazy ones. I've ran into a few of those myself in my time.

Mm, god, it's hot. Anyway, but I just need

you guys to make me proud. Oh, also, budget your money. I'm

not going to be around to help you with budgeting or grocery shopping, doing your

laundry, any of that stuff anymore. Oh,

okay. What's it like? I can't just like text you or something like that if I have any questions? You can

text me if you have questions, but I'm not doing your laundry anymore. You're a man

now. Okay, but I don't think I've ever actually like used like a washer

before, so like— So you can read the directions on the inside of the washer.

I've taught you well. You guys are gonna be fine. But I just gotta make sure I tell you this stuff

before you guys even leave, honestly.

I know you're gonna be fine, but I just really need you to take this seriously. Do a good

job, be thorough, show up on time,

right? Yes, I get it. Yes, thank you. It's not

that complicated, but just, you know, look out for each other. Of

course. I mean, he's my lil bro. I get it. I gotta be out there for him, but

I think he's gonna be fine, honestly. All right, sweetie. Let me lay on this table

before I make lunch, okay?

Okay.

I remember my first initiation. Actually, it was with my

brother and sister. The president was really, really impressed by my,

you know, my work ethic. I really wanted to get in.

That's why I'm so proud of you and your brother. You guys are going to be great. You're going

to get in there, you're going to show them who's boss. You're going to get through the initiation just fine.

Oh yeah, we're definitely going to give it everything we have. You definitely should. So

anyway, back to the president's story. So he was so

excited, and it was a part of their mission after I I did the initiation

with my brother and sister. He was really impressed I got in. It matched their

mission statement for the college, you know? That was to

create a new free world, right? See, now you're getting it. You're already ready.

I told you. You and your brother are gonna be fine.

Ah. Mm. Well, appreciate the confidence.

Do you have any advice for me or anything? All the advice, really. I spent a lot

of time— oh, I almost dropped my water. It's really hot in here.

Um, so don't speed. If you're going to speed on campus, just make sure you have somebody

else with you, like, just in case, you know. Um, and then you got to be careful

with the people you start fucking, even after initiation. It gets a little bit crazy

after that, you know. What do you mean? What's crazy about it?

Everybody's gonna be fighting over you because you're new. It's kind of like hazing but better

because it's sex, obviously. So I think you guys are gonna fit in just

fine. Okay, and that's good.

You just guys just have to look out for each other and make sure that you guys are just, you

know, taking care of each other, look out for each other. All right,

now about the president. I didn't tell you about the president.

A woman. Oh, seriously? Yes, honey, seriously. So listen, and

listen carefully. So what you're gonna have to do, you and your brother

should just go together, but if you guys treat her well, you're gonna be able to graduate

early. Now that will make me proud. You guys think you can do that? Got it.

Okay, so we just gotta get in good with the head. Yeah, just— I know you guys have classes and stuff like that, but

just schedule around it to have a meeting with her together and just, you know, treat her how you would treat me,

you know, take care of her how you would take care of me, and then you guys will be able to graduate

early, no problems. Oh wow, okay.

But no fucking around, get straight to business, no talking. She

doesn't like a lot of chitter chatter, okay? Got it. Make sure, keep the

chitter chatter to a minimum. Just make sure you, you know, use what

you're used to using, and you guys should be fine. I

don't know why it's so hot in here. Yeah, I, I don't know

at all. Uh, okay, anyway, so you got

the president under control, right? So, right, right. So now if your brother isn't

around, you're just gonna have to go by yourself, but you have the skill set.

Firstborn, you'll be great. But that girl Elizabeth, you don't

need to see her anymore. Focus on the president, okay? I know you like her, but that's not gonna

get you graduated early. I need you guys to focus. Hone in on your skills that

I know that you have. Okay? Can you do that?

I— I guess. That one's gonna be a little bit harder though. Seriously? And she's good for you?

Really? All those times? I need you to focus on the task at hand. You guys just

got accepted. Both of you together, my boys, you guys will be great, but you have

to focus. Hone in on the task at hand and make sure

you get your brother in good too, not just you. I know

you get confused sometimes and you're losing focus and there's a lot going on, but think

about the goal, not Elizabeth. Got it? No Elizabeth when you're

gone. If I find out I'm not picking— I'm not— no, I'm not putting up

with that. All right, all right, or yes?

Yes, I get it. Thank you, I'm glad that you listen. I'm glad that you understand.

This is important, and you know that of course I'm gonna be looking out for my brother, like,

like I've taught you. Remember all those times you guys are helping each

other out? You have to continue to do that. Yeah.

Anyway, as far

as your brother,

I think he's gonna, you know, he's gonna be nervous at first, but you just need to take the lead sometimes. Be

assertive, you know, especially with the women. Then you'll do great. Yeah, I mean, I got no problem

with that, and honestly, I think he's gonna be just fine. But, you know, always, always keep an ear out for him, you know? You think

he's gonna be fine? Really? He's gonna be nervous as shit, and you know that.

Well, you gotta keep him on task. No, you gotta keep him on task too. You know that.

All right, I didn't know I was gonna be babysitting him. I thought he was chilling. That's fine, I guess. Babysitting or rising to

success together? Like, I've taught you, I've prepared you for this. The girls know you're

coming. Yeah, I mean, you're right. I think I'm ready for it, for sure.

And yeah, maybe I do know a little bit more than he does right now as far as like what we're getting into.

So I'll just, I'll do my best. You have the most

experience, so you're gonna have to lead the way, pave the path, and either way drag his ass along

with you. Make me proud,

okay? Don't worry, you know that I will. Okay, so

next part, graduation. It's gonna be here before you know it. You

need to focus. Take your brother with you, go to the president's office, get it

done. Okay? My name is associated with you guys, so you have to be

great. Okay? I know there's a lot on the line, but we'll make you proud.

Don't stress me out. We won't. Thank you. You know what I've taught you. You're gonna be

great. Yo! Hey! What's good, bruh? What's up, brother? Enjoying yourself?

Oh yeah, man, you know, I'm just filming it, you know what I mean? Okay,

make sure it comes out good. Yeah, yeah, of course, man.

I'm a fucking amateur, dude. Yeah, I know, I know, I'm just saying.

You two are something else. Oh, and

son, please don't mess with the thermostat anymore. I know you messed with—

no, I know you messed with the thermostat. It's expensive to fix. Just ask me for what you need next time.

Alright, I'm sorry, Mom. Thank you for the apology.

Hi guys! Hey, Mom! Hi! Come in, come in, come in!

This is for you. This is for you. I'm so proud.

I'm so proud of my boys. Look at this. Oh, so I'm setting up. We're gonna have

a party since you guys made it into the fraternity your first try. I'm so proud.

Okay, we're gonna get this all set up. We're gonna have some fun. Okay,

and we're gonna get you guys all excited. Yes. All right, you

ready to get started? Oh, can't wait. All right. Yeah, let's do it. All right,

awesome. Perfect. All right. Oh, All these balls.

Yep, yep, plenty of balls. Yeah, yeah, plenty of balls. Yep.

Okay, all right, let me finish setting this up for my

boys and get them all situated. That's

awesome. I really appreciate that you guys appreciate it. There are a lot of big balls

here. Yes, you're right. Oh, you're very funny, my boys. Always funny,

always with the jokes. Yes, you guys know I'm proud of you, right? Yes,

we do. Of course we do. That's why you guys are getting this party. Yeah, because you deserve it.

Thank you. We want to show you how proud we are of our mom too.

Uh, always the funny one. Yes, thank you.

Uh, it's gonna be such a great party. This color looks so good on you. You know what? I

actually have something for you. Do you now? Yeah, I do. You want to see it? Of

course. Okay, stay right here. Be good. I'll try. Okay. And I

have— surprise! Oh, you didn't have to do that. You're gonna match me. I know

you're really excited. Oh shit, bro, did you see that shit? Yeah, yeah,

yeah. Look at

that. Here you go.

Okay, I don't want to mess up here. All right, and you, mister, yours is over there on the table. You go put that

on. You're getting dressed. Go ahead, bro, put it on. Toga! Yeah, right here, right

here. All right, good. Don't forget to put that on your head. Uh-huh, very classy. All right,

very— I got accepted. Here you go, baby. Oh my

goodness, I don't know what you guys are going to do

without me, but you know what, You'll be fine. There you

go. I don't think I can live without you, Mom. You're gonna have to. Why? Oh, what do you

mean why? You're gonna be fine. Okay, you finished putting yours

on? Yeah. Okay, you're taking too long, bro. Come on, the one thing I asked

you to do. Come on, this is good, man. Oh, oh, that was good.

Comfy, handsome. Look at that. Oh, hold

on, you know what, I'll start even though I suck at it and I know you're a pro at it,

but— oh, that's weak shit. Like I said, like I

said, all those cups. All right, let's see it. All right, stop

flexing it, stop flexing. Come on, you have to put the ball in. I'll put all my

balls in that hole. Let's see it, come on, show me what you've got.

Come on.

Mmm, see, should have done a little better, man. Bro, have I

taught you nothing? I'm sorry, I mean, you would be the pro. Look right there, right

there, that's two. Give me my money. You two are something

else. I'll try one more time. Sorry. There you go, take your time, go slow.

There. Oh look, you're a baller with me. You see the mom luck? I got that mom luck. What are you talking

Shit, she'll do everything for you. Oh, look at that. Without me, you're just not gonna make it.

That's why I said, what would I do without you? Nothing. Dang. Oh, fuck,

bro, chill out. Yeah, I told you to be nice to your brother. Yeah,

so you see what he's doing? What do you mean? Hey, we're just fucking around a little bit. Yeah, like, I want you to be there for

me, Mom. Oh my gosh, you're

fine. Oh, I hate it. You see See, thank you, thank you,

thank you to these. They're good luck charms, you know that. You know, they're, they're

like stress balls. Whenever you guys need them, you can always— I'm stressful, I'm stressed out.

I know you guys are having fun.

Good. Oh, see, Mama still got it. All

right, all right, watch this one, watch this one. So everybody's good but me, except for you, honey.

It's your fault. Come on, bro, don't be an asshole. I know your aim is better than that. Now you

just hurt Mom. Now, oh, come on, Mom. It's hurting. Oh, it's a ping pong. Did he hurt you?

Always hurting my feelings. Did he hurt you? Damn, not really. I'm sorry. I think it'll be fine.

I'm sorry if he hurt you. You acting like I

threw a big-ass glass ball or something. I'm gonna throw a fireball.

Yeah, bro, do you remember last year at this time we

were in that fucking ping pong competition and we lost because of me because I couldn't

play? I'm sorry, man. You gotta practice more, honey, you really do. Hey, second

place, if you ain't first, you last. So you gotta set that shit up next year. All

right, now you're right, you're right. Shit, second does not really count,

but hey, bro, Golden Geese gotta strike again. Hey, that's you, bro.

Y'all better be teaching me, you know. You guys need to be looking out for each other and teaching

each other because, you know, Mom is good at everything, and that

comes with practice. Oh, I was gonna say that mouth, but okay.

Okay. Yeah, I can't wait

to go back to college, bro. It's just gonna be sick, man. It's fucking

It's time. Definitely this time. I hope it's

different because I want to win more games, you know. I want to participate in

more activities, you know. You guys can't be on the same team. I

can, but he always wins, and no, I don't want to take him down with me.

Yeah, yeah, but man, dude, I'm looking out for you out here, man. That's why we always on the same shit, like I told you

to. Indeed we are.

Mm-hmm. When are

you gonna throw us a party?

First off, you guys need to keep your shit together and make sure you

work together this whole time before you get another party. We always work together with you.

With me, but what about without me? That's why I need you, you know.

Mm-hmm,

man.

Bro, I know that we're doing fucking good out here and shit, but I feel like Mom can still teach us a couple of

lessons, you know, give us some insights so we were like really, really prepared. You're right. But

I mean, like, honestly, dude, like, I can teach you what I know about some of these fucking games out here, man. Make sure you just succeeding in

this frat and shit once we get in. It's like we already got that initiation in the bag, you know what I'm talking about? You're right, you're

right. And I appreciate you for looking out for me, you know? That's what I do,

man. See, what's up with you guys getting along all of a sudden? No, but I want you to visit us

once in a while, you know? We talked about that. Or I'll visit you.

I cannot be taking care of you guys and showing you every little thing all the time. That's why I'll take care of

you. That's why I said I'll be there. It's not about you No, I want to see

what your rooms are going to look like. I want to see if you're keeping them clean. I want to see if you're taking care of the

ladies like you're supposed to. Oh yeah, don't worry, we'll show you everything.

Yeah, and don't worry about it. It's not as well. Yeah, I mean, we've been taking care of this lady

again, right? Yes, but remember what I said about the president,

honey? Yeah. Yes, you have to tell your brother about that. What about the president?

All right, so Apparently, right? According to Mom, she said that we gotta like fucking get in hella good with the

president. So we gotta pretty much just like treat her the same way we treat

Mom. And he said that it's gonna help us fucking succeed in this shit. And if you don't, you know I'm gonna hear

about it. Of course you'll hear. She's my friend's friend, the president. Yeah, I know.

So you both are really gonna have to represent me accordingly. If anything,

I'll come personally to you and tell you about it. Uh-huh, you should. I need

the first report. I need to know what she thinks about you guys, if she knows that you're my sons, like what's

going on with it. I mean, we are your sons, so of course you'll hear everything good, you know. Uh-huh, it should

be good. She's expecting us, but don't worry, we're gonna do you right. Yes, we will do you right

before we leave first. Honestly, I

expect nothing less. You should not. Such good

sons. Look at that. I'm so proud. I could not be more proud of both of

you, really. Especially this one, looking after your brother, as you should.

Behave too, right? Oh, come on. No, Elizabeth. I told him, that's

what we talked about earlier. Oh wow, okay. Like

I said, couldn't be more

proud. Thanks, Mom. Let's see, we, uh, head over here. Yeah. All right, come

on. Okay. This couch is the best

investment. Of

course. Oh my

gosh, I'm telling you, Mom, we need to get a better couch because

a lot of things have been done on this couch. You are not gonna be here, so why are you worried about the

couch, sir? It's okay when I visit once in a while by myself. I would

be on this couch. Oh, by yourself? So without your brother?

Yes. So no Elizabeth? Well, don't be trying to

convince me otherwise, sir. I'm not the one with— who's with her? That's

him. Yeah, bro, come on, let's be real. You lose to that fucking bad dude,

you should tell him the truth. She's a baddie, yes, but I don't know what kind of baddie you talking about.

All right, fine. It was like that. There's so many other girls in the world and

you have to have that one when you go to college? Really? That's what I'm saying.

She's a good time. We have fun together. You know what I'm saying? If I can find one that's

like mom, I will take her any day. As you should. Just like your mother. Yep. I

don't know why I get fronted so much. You was out here having fun with Elizabeth too. Don't sit here and act like I'm the

only fucking one. So you have fun with her? Might have fun,

bruh. No, don't do that in front of Ma. You know better. You need to keep him in

line then and make sure that he's doing what he's supposed to be doing. Both of you know

Elizabeth. Like I said, bro, now look what

you've done. And I know you've been messing with her too. I have not been messing with

her. The only thing that I've been doing with her is doing her good, right by her. Oh, you've been

doing her, doing right by her side. That's what it is, isn't it?

Oh shit, I mean, she's a— I don't know, I don't even want to talk about it, to

be honest. Oh, you want to talk about it? You want to talk about that time we went out on fucking Tommy's boat and shit,

dude? Oh, Tommy.

Oh, she hates him too, bro. Don't bring it up. All right, you guys

do not listen to me, really, do you? We do. Yeah, listen to you, because

every time I'm doing something, I'm only thinking about you, Mom. Mm-hmm. You need to be focusing on

your studies, especially when you go. I mean, I will.

I do think about studies and you. Mm-hmm. Yeah, all the

time. I'll say, that's all I want to think about is

our mom, you know? Yeah, how good she is.

How pretty she is. She's always got so much life

experience. That's what I'm saying. And the experience that she

told us about, things that she does. I need you to forget about Elizabeth,

focus on the president, right? Focus on the president? What you want me to do with her?

You don't even listen. Gosh, I'm just saying, honey, please help me here.

Bro, she said we gotta treat the presi just like we treat mom, man. Oh! Getting good, 'cause

then she said that's how we guaranteed to get our fucking scholarships and shit, man. I mean, mom, can we help

the presi and you together at the same time? No, she doesn't like me, but you

two just need to get in a good word for me anyway. That's one of the reasons you're going. Don't

worry, you'll hear good things about us.

Don't gotta worry about that, mom. Right, bro, our

game is coming up. I'm gonna be there to cheer you up, don't worry about it. Oh, hell yeah! Since when did you

start— I mean, the day that you started playing lacrosse. Hey,

bro, you don't even understand, man. It's just about the connection.

Yeah, I guess. I mean, Mom, will you be there? First off, you

know I'm gonna be there for everything anyway. Oh, and you, you need to focus More

studies, less sports. That's why you're going, remember?

And bro, you better win that game because I have faith in you, you know

that. Of course, dude. You ever know me to fucking drop that shit? I

did. That shit went by that goalie, he couldn't even stop

it. He couldn't even fucking stop it. Oh, and by the way, we

got the big party coming, bro. Bro, you don't gotta remind me, dude. That's

what I'm saying. That's just gonna be fucking lit, man. You better get into that frat house because

that's what we're making all these videos for, right? Yeah, dude. Like I said, man, you're gonna worry about

shit. We already got that in the bag. Oh, say less then. Say

less.

Parties. Hey, I mean, not that kind of party. It's just respectful.

Respectful. So we can get both of you respectful. Yes.

Charming. Yeah. Kind. Thorough. All right, now he's

stretching. Come on, Ma, you ever know us to do anything inappropriate or bad?

They will eat you alive in this world if you are that good. Is this a trick question, guys?

Come on.

Well, before we leave, can you cook us up— cook

the dinner that we like for us? I know which one you're talking about. That takes

a lot of prep and you know that. So do you want the same thing? I

mean, yeah, that's what we like. It's our favorite meal, you know? Yeah. So you guys are gonna

make me do all this work, all, all of this before you leave? Don't worry, we'll help you out just like

we are helping out— helping you out right now. We take off the stress as you should. Yeah, in the first

place. Thank you. Well, you're a good boy, you know. Don't

worry, always. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, do anything for Mom, man. Bro, when

are you getting that new car? Oh dude, so this is just gonna like fucking import that shit.

I'm gonna get it in like a month. Word. Did I pay for it? Did he agree? Yeah,

dude. He needs to get me a bike, bro. Fuck, you want

one? Yeah. I'll see what I can do for you.

You know, Mom, what's it called? I've been asking Dad, but he just doesn't listen to me

for some reason. But he listens to him, Jamie, you know. That's why. Uh,

it's just different, honey. You know that. You just don't know how to talk to him, man. That's why I tell— I

told you, and I tell you if I need something done, you know. Well,

again, work together. Help your brother. Right, and you need to help him sometimes too.

Just make sure you guys are good with chores and stuff. Chores and

stuff, really? I mean, it's something, which is better than nothing,

you know. Like, he helps me out with

stuff, I help him out with stuff. You should. He's my

older brother, he popped out of you before me. Leading

the way for you like usual. Of course you're going to bring that up. Paving the path for little brother.

Oh yeah, bro. So what are

you guys going to do with the president? What's the plan? Tell me the plan, big brother.

Let's hear it. Like I said, ma, you already told me what to do. We just got to take

care of the president just like we did you. That's what I'm saying, we got to prepare first. I mean, We're not

ready yet. We're not prepared. What do you have to do to prepare? Hey, we got to make a good

impression, right? Yes, you do. That's the first part. That's what I'm saying.

So to make a good impression, first of all, we need to get our shit together.

Step 1. Yup. Need to look neat and clean, right?

Mhm. And then? And then, um, you go

ahead, bro. You tell her. I don't even know. I'm gonna follow you, so you

better tell her. You can't just take after me all the fucking time, dude. Don't always

be a follower. I won't, okay? I'm not here to fucking

babysit you, bro. I look out for your ass, but I ain't doing everything for you.

Damn. Okay, well, after that, I

gotta prep on the topics that I'm gonna talk to her about, you know? You need to work on

that. Go ahead and have it pre-done. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. After that, I'm gonna,

I don't know, make a good impression and get out, you

know? Well, I have a few pieces of advice about

Prezi. Oh yeah? I know everything good comes out from that mouth. What is it?

First off, flowers. Okay. Tell her you're my son.

She's not gonna like that, but then smile. Okay. Big smile, you know that smile I'm talking about.

Yes, after that I'll take the president inside and just treat her like how we treat you,

right? Right, isn't that what we talked about? Yes, yeah, I

mean, that's what it is. There has to be more to that plan. You can't just go in there

and smile and be like, hi. I mean, what else? Like I said, we gotta, we gotta think about

it and we will be prepared before we go see her. Of course, we're gonna run our plan By

you, as you should, right? You're right, you're right, you're

right. So do you want to play the beer pong or should I? You know

what, what do you think? I don't know, fucking rock paper scissors, that shit, dude. Let's get

it, let's get it. Best, best 2 out of 3. Fuck yeah, dude, every time. Rock paper

scissors. Okay, come on, rock paper scissors.

Bro, is that mom luck or you're just good at it? What the fuck? All right,

dude, you know, okay, I was better at this shit than you, bro. You got a lot to learn, dude.

Okay, stop flexing. Okay, Mom, I'll go play some beer pong.

Okay. In which I suck, by the way. Oh yeah, yeah. All right,

honey, let's go over here. Yeah, I'm gonna practice them, I guess.

All right, you ready? I gotta be good at beer

pong, so you guys say. Yes, you do. You need that fucking

practice for sure, dude. That's one of the selling points. Selling points on what? What the fuck are you selling

here? First off, the president would probably hear about it. See, look, that's a good start.

The other side. Yeah, at least you made a cup this time though. That's what I'm saying, at least

a cup, right? Another one. It fell over,

baby. No. Yeah, yeah, this shit don't count, bro. It's right here. Hey, whatever you got to tell

yourself. Okay, I mean, I'm

trying. It just keeps falling out of the cup for some reason. You've got to

focus. Relax your eyebrows. There you go. There you go.

See, it's all about the motion of that wrist. Motion of the

ocean. Motion of the ocean. There you go, round of applause.

See? Yep. You just have to focus on the task at hand. Y'all been hyping me up way too much. Uh-huh. More

practice. Yes. Soon you'll

learn to get that rhythm down, brother. Yeah, one day at a time. Oh,

don't make a mess, please. Balls are not in the right place. Uh-huh.

It's okay, they will be. As soon as I'm with you, Mom, the balls are in

the right place. Uh-huh. The balls are in the court. Make sure they're in the court with the president too.

Uh, trust me. Or I'll just let your brother handle it.

All my balls are gonna be up. You're so about it. You know what, I need

a ball. I'll just show you. Let's get to it. Ah, see? All

right, that's what I'm fucking talking about, man. Look at that! Good

job! Yay! Yay! Look at you! All right, bro, so this

year the beer pong competition that we going to be in, right?

Yeah. Now you better win, cuz I'm going to practice, Mom. I'm going to practice. It's all on

you, babe. You're going to need a lot of practice. Yeah, don't, don't put pressure on

me, huh? See, there we go! Yeah, look at that!

Good shit! Just That's it, it fell. So that doesn't count, honey.

No, you know, house rule says in a— in like a situation like that, that actually counts. That's chill

because it went inside. Then it went inside. That shit was insecure on their part. They shouldn't have

it so close to the edge. So that is cool, man. You got that. That's all right. Thank you. Technicality, but

we're gonna get you, Dave. I can get better though. So technicality then. Uh, so they changed it.

Oh, there's another one. Yeah. Oh my God, another

one! Oh my God! Oh my gosh,

you learned so fast, honey. Where the fuck was this at the last tourney, bro? Not

here, because Mom was not there with us. She's the lady luck. All

right, I mean, you ain't wrong about that, dude. You know I'm Mama's boy.

Mm-hmm. You always have been, right up after your brother. Yeah, I

mean, you learned from me. Taught him well. If he hadn't popped out before me, trust

me, things would have been way too different. Get back to work.

Things would have been different and better. And better? Yeah. Without your brother? Yes. That's not kind,

cuz I would have been older and wiser. Oh, he's wiser than— Oh

yeah, yeah, sure, buddy. He's more

wise. He believes— I can't believe— I'm not getting in the middle of this. I see you two about to argue.

No, no, no. Oh, this sucks.

He's been getting everything since this day started.

I don't like that. Or maybe you're just spoiled. You think you're supposed to get everything? Is

that what you think? Yeah, yeah, he got used to being a little baby. You have to

share. Share? Sharing is caring, remember what I taught you? So when are you gonna

spoil me? When you're gonna give me some? More things to

learn, to learn, I guess. Okay, thank

you. See, get 3

more. You gonna spoil me after that? I'll think about it. Oh,

okay. You heard the lady. Come on, don't you fuck

this up, dude. Ah, you see, he sucks. I'm telling you, as soon as he opens his

mouth, something goes You're making him nervous. Yes.

Oh, Lil Baby's nervous. Fuck, dude, how you gonna do with the house then, bro?

Hey, you're gonna be there, right? Of course I'm gonna be there. Yeah, let's quit talking your shit,

bro. Oh my gosh. Okay, okay, all

right, let's go. You got all the balls in the cup? Yes. Let's

go. One. All

right, nope, start over. You were staring at me.

See, this motherfucker just blames me for everything. Well, it's like that. You expect me

to take care of this dude? You know that I do.

Yep. You know

better. Look, at least

I can't be doing this. You're gonna be embarrassing me like this, bro. Oh shit.

Oh, he's shopping. You're making— honey, stop talking to him. That's what I said, he

keeps talking and talking,

bro. Mom, you need to talk to Dad, okay? Talk to him about what, honey? Because I was talking

to him earlier and he was grumpy as usual. I don't like that, like the way he talks. I don't

like it. They go like, oh, it's been too long today, I gotta change this, I

gotta change that. You know your dad gets grumpy sometimes, but there's a lot to do.

Yeah, but he'd be always— he's a photographer, right? And he gets some weird things sometimes and he's

like, I don't like this, I don't like that. You have to understand that your

dad is a different breed, okay? You also have to understand that he just comes from a different generation than

you. Does he? But he— no shit, you're his kid, bro. It's a different generation.

What you want? No, I'm saying He used to play guitar. He does. You know

how many guitars he has in the house, right? Right. He doesn't even play them. He

just— boy, you're gonna learn how to play it. Okay then, be

nicer to your father. I'll play you. Now he wants to be a

smart aleck. See, that's what that gets mad at his ass. Yeah, I mean,

hey, I'm just telling the truth. He takes it the wrong way. You have to

kinder about how you deliver, honey. Yeah, that's why I get the car and you just get a little bike.

I deliver good with you though. Yes, yes, but as far as your

father, you got to be kinder. You got to be nicer, be more

understanding. I just made 3 back-to-back shots. Well, love me now.

Okay, we'll move it to 5. You shouldn't be laughing either. Encourage him.

Nobody fucking saw that shit. What are you talking about? You fucking lying.

Fuck! You see, as soon as he opened his mouth, I had floor in the

bag. Okay, tell me one thing, Mom. Why did you marry

Dad? He's so much older than you. Honey, there's reasons for everything before

you were born, okay? And I don't think that we need to discuss it. Okay, but why though?

She said it good. You two are

horrible. Focus. We get it, we get it from you. President, learn

how to play beer pong, be nice to all the ladies. Very easy concept. How about we role

play? You, you be the president. Let's say you're the president, right? And I'm here, I'm here to— what's

it called? What's it called? What's it called, honey? Tell me what it's called. It is called to make

you happy. To make me happy. Yes, to impress. To impress. There you go. There you

go. That's why you're my older brother. Yeah, he's the vocab man. Thank you, thank you.

It's okay, it's okay. My turn is coming. Is it? Is it

not? I'm just kidding. You're okay. Just get the balls together.

Oh, they are intact. Oh my goodness. You sure about that? Your brother has a lot of— with the way

you been throwing that shit, we got to see about that. Little bit. Who's the one who been throwing shit around?

Still not getting it, huh? I guess not. I don't know what to to tell you right now.

It's just young and ignorant. You don't get it. You know, not that much younger than you. Don't forget

that part. How much younger than I— how much younger I am than him? You don't know.

You tell me. You're the mom, right? Oh my gosh, the son of mine. I don't know what I'm

gonna do. What are you gonna do about him when I'm not here? I don't know. I guess I just gotta like help him deal with the fact he's got

a small little brain up there compared to me, honey. Yeah, regardless, I'm getting hit.

Yeah, I know, man. Look, I'm gonna get out there. I am not here, you

guys need to be nice to one another. Okay, 5. Come on, 5

right there. No one saw it, baby. No one saw it, baby.

Okay, come on, Irma. You, you— now you keep stretching shit. Fine, whatever. Now you

picking and choosing. You okay? Think you had enough experience? Whatever,

this fucking guy. Oh my gosh. What is wrong? You're so fussy

today. Yeah, cause I have not been getting my mom today.

Oh my gosh, fucking mama's boy all the time,

bro. Do I not? Everybody has needs, honey. That's what I'm saying.

Be

nicer. The

fuck you laughing at, bro? You finally getting some mommy attention time? You happy as shit

now? Correct. Bro, you have to learn to get off that shit, dude.

No, because I love mom. Why would you think that? Yeah, no shit. Well, I know, I know,

I'm a mama's boy too. I love that shit. But are you?

Yes. I thought you were a dad's boy. Nah, dad just like me, unlike you.

Remember the part where I said be nice to one another? Do you both remember that? This is

brotherly love right here. What you want about it? It's okay, Ma. Look, we're just messing around. That's what I'm

saying. Yeah, I mean, hey, better be up in that fucking

frat. What are you doing? What? Gonna be getting it all in.

I won't, I won't. That's not the thing though.

You know what, I had enough Mama's attention. Hey, you know what? Hey, at least

you learn it, bro. That's all I'll say.

Don't always have to be about that.

You

know, brother,

I'm glad that you're learning that, uh The fuck is

so funny, bro? Because I don't know what learning— you ain't teaching

shit. Mom is the one who will be teaching me. Well, look, Mom taught me. I'm teaching you. That's my fucking role

out here, dude. Word. Word. There's no way you think you learned

that shit on your own, bro. Yeah, Mom did. When you used to go to school, I would teach me

when her and I were alone. Mm.

Yes. Yeah, dude, she's a good teacher,

bro. She's a great teacher. Yeah, that's why I'm so advanced. Yeah,

it's okay, bro. It's also why I'm so eloquently spoken. Oh

shit. Oh shit, eloquently spoken. Okay, okay,

big brother using big words. Okay, that's good, that's good. You got a lot to learn, little

bro. That's cool though, I got you. Once we in there, because that

shit's guaranteed, I'm gonna teach you the ropes. Word.

You will now? Okay. Yeah, say less, dude. I got you. That's fine, that's fine.

Mom taught me enough to stand for myself and shit, you know what I'm

saying?

All

right,

come

in.

Ah, it's like that now.

You like that? Just stay there, don't worry about it. I better

get ready for the party, you know what I'm saying? Mm, you need to. I mean, I'm

gonna fuck that party up. Oh my

gosh, of course. I'm so proud of you guys. Thank you, thank

you. Because the thing is, like, I haven't been to a party, so

yeah, he hasn't been, so yeah.

I'll teach you, bro, don't worry. Okay, sure.

Thank you, Mom. You're welcome. You boys be good.

Mm-mm.