All language subtitles for EPORNER.COM - [ipfAGURS05G] Flashes (360)

Good evening, fans.

Station WSES Channel 69 brings you the
news.

I am your anchor person, Rebecca
Walcott.

And I bring you special reports and
inside stories about those intimate

other station dares to broadcast.

I am your roving reporter, Rosie
Raindrop.

And don't forget me!

Your hearts and flowers, girl.

Weather reports and all -around sex
goddess.

Just being juicy food.

And now for the news.

Latest poll figures indicate that
American women are engulfing in 70 %

acts than Russian women.

Keep up the good work, girls.

The Cold War is going to be won by hot
tongues.

As the newly elected president, Richard
Grant, said just after his election,

Get in there and set the pace.

Here's a hot splash.

Little often Annie, ward of that
fabulously wealthy Daddy Longlegs, has

pussy. The child is frantic.

Our roving reporter has an exclusive
interview in the palatial surroundings

Daddy Longlegs' mansion.

Right now, I have my weekly man -on -the
-street interview.

Tonight's subject, how do you feel about
oral sex?

Hello, everyone. This is Rebecca
Wallflower, your anchor person from WSDX

Channel 69.

I'm doing my special man -on -the
-street interview.

Hello, sir. I'd like to ask you a few
questions.

Hi. I'd like to ask you a question, sir.

Oh, sorry, ma 'am. I don't speak
English.

Hi,

miss. Can I ask you a question?

Is that a camera? It sure is.

Wow. I'd like to know what you think
about oral sex.

Oh, sex?

Getting with a cock?

A penetrating... Sir, I'd like to ask
you a question. Can you help me out?

Yeah, big quick.

Could you stop moving around?

Yeah, I am not stopping moving around. I
can't.

No, could you stop bouncing so I can ask
you a question for a bit? Yeah, but I

ain't got no tiger. You see, I ain't a
tiger. You know what I'm talking about?

Oh, here's an intelligent looking
gentleman. Sir, can I ask you a

No pictures. No pictures.

I'd like to ask you a question. Sure.

Hey, what are you doing here? A porn
picture?

No, we're doing a TV interview.

TV? What station?

ABC?

Now, we'd like to know what you think
about oral sex.

What?

Oral sex. We need to know what you think
about oral sex.

That's disgusting.

You can talk about that on TV.

Well, sure we are. This is WSBX, channel
69. We talk about sex and we do special

stories about sex.

Well, that's as disgusting as talking
about jerking off.

No, that was our subject last week. This
week we're talking about oral sex and

we need to know how you feel about it.

Um, well, I don't know.

I wouldn't, you know, really know where
to start.

Okay, why don't we start with do you
like taking it or getting it better?

Which one?

Um, I like a little bit of both.

Hmm.

Well, why don't you give us your
impressions of how the real thing feels?

What are you doing?

Hey.

Oh, my God.

You just tell our viewers how it feels.

I hope you're not watching this, Mom.

Wow.

Oh, you're a real person.

Practice makes perfect.

Oh, yeah.

Here they come.

What do you think about oil sakes now,
sir?

Well, they definitely have a different
outlook for me.

Thank you very much.

Anytime, anytime.

And now, back to our station.

As a special service to our viewers,
WFDX is attempting an on -the -spot

of the most powerful batteries on the
market.

With the help of these special toys, we
will see which brand lasts the longest.

Ever hard?

Terrific.

I know you're enjoying yourselves as you
get on with the news.

And now our first exclusive, Rosie.

Thank you, Rebecca.

Just this week, I met two fab young men
world travelers and quizzed them about

women all over the world.

Roll tape.

Good evening and welcome to another
interview with WSEX.

I'd like to, this afternoon, introduce
two fascinating world travelers to our

lady viewers.

On my left, I have Vincent van Gogh,
that famous French painter, and to my

right, I have Stuart MacGregor. I'm not
sure what he does for a living, but I

know he's terribly wealthy and has an
incredibly interesting history.

I'd like to start out today, gentlemen,
by asking you a few questions.

about what you've found women to be like
in your extensive world travelers.

Stuart, dear, since you're so close to
England, what do you think of those

fascinating English women?

Aye, well, I think they're okay, but
they're a wee bit clammy. I discuss with

the one that heads to the U .S.

And you, Vincent, how do you find Greek
women to be?

I think they're kind of...

smell after 13 years old.

So, what have you found of American
women since you've been in the country?

To be honest, I'm not sure. I have not
experienced an American woman yet.

Oh, well, that's unfortunate.

Would you consider coming back next week
and telling us after you've had the

opportunity? Well, I'm not sure of all
the time. Vincent, have you had an

American woman, Vincent?

Not yet. I was almost at it.

Last night, but, uh... Well, we could,
uh... Well, maybe you'd both like to

come... No, wait! Stop the camera! No!
Oh, yeah.

Well, I guess we could have a... Come
on.

They don't put any on the left.

Oh,

no,

stop the cameras.

Stop the cameras.

Yeah, you can stop the cameras. I guess
we'll...

What I don't do for my fans.

They even

taste

different. They even taste different,
ladies.

Um...

that born men prefer American women two
to one.

This is Rosie Rainjox for WSCX.

Back to you, Rebecca.

I told you not to call me here.

I know.

I know, but... That was Fabby. Rosie,
now a word from our...

This is an important message for those
of you in need.

You men out there in TV land, do you
find that your spring has sprung?

When the little woman is in a romantic
mood, do you find that you're limp or it

counts the most?

Then what you need are the magical
contents of this little bottle.

Wonderful Wally's virility pills,
manufactured by the Upjohn Corporation,

guaranteed to put a lift back into your
marital bed.

A few words of caution, however.

These pills must be taken with extreme
care.

Swallow too slowly, you'll end up with a
stiff neck.

Take more than two, and you'll pole
vault right out the window.

One of our aging customers swallowed
over half a bottle and died.

in a state of euphoria, finding himself
coming and going at the same time.

Whether you're married or single, you
must try Wally's Virility Pill.

You just gotta get it out.

Quick. The commercial's gonna be over.

Take one of those pills.

Let's give it a try.

Okay.

Well, honey, they do work.

Mm -hmm.

I have an idea.

Mmm. Mmm.

Pick up a few grains into a glass of
beer, and you'll have a head that lasts

hours. Yes, friends, whether married or
single, don't be half -safe.

Be cocksure.

With wonderful Wally's, virility pills,
they are hard to beat.

And now back to the news.

Here's a special bulletin. The president
has declared June 20th a national

holiday. He is calling it Clean Your
Click Day, a new national holiday which

feminists are up in arms about.

They're up in arms about June 21st being
Uncut Meat Day and demand an equal

time. So as of next week... Wait a
minute,

we've lost the sound. I don't know
what's gone wrong here.

What happened to the sound?

I don't know.

What's going on? I don't know. Where's
Josephine?

She's up there.

Don't let her down. We had a small
mechanic at her disposal.

Josie, get down here.

Small difficulty, Hal. Honey, my
vibrator went dead.

So much for our hard work.

Oh, the sound's back on.

We didn't miss anything.

It's no business of hers.

God, no.

Get your ass out of here. No.

You know what I'm saying?

I have the real thing.

Thank you, Ollie.

I think I can do my weather report now.
I'm in the mood.

Oh, Wally.

Thanks. Thanks so much. I love you so
much, Wally.

Oh, Wally's pills, they work.

Oh, they really do.

And here's Rosie's views on music.

Rosie?

The latest films from Hollywood are
driving me to drink.

Hey, you out there.

1984? Give me sex!

Not your excuses for pallid pink.

And the latest titles.

Teenage Topless.

Passion Pits.

Hush Pots from Podunk.

These titles are slime in our national
image.

They're like little wires that kids use
to stick underneath the desk in school.

It's like when those cleaning men come
in here and put chewing tobacco

underneath our desk and we put our hand
in there. It's disgusting.

Where's your imagination?

and buy more skin flicks than ever
before.

I don't want to see pitties. I want to
see beef.

Muscles. Beards.

Hairy balls.

Swing dark stuff.

I want to see play.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I get carried away.

It's just they don't make them like they
used to.

Like my favorite movie of all time.

The biggest turn on of my life. My first
cinematic orgasm.

I chalk up every time I think about it.
What was it?

I don't want to talk about it.

Rosie, please share your experience with
our viewers.

All right.

Rosie, come home.

And now, a few of the girls down at
Jake's Diner have come up with a unique

for lunch.

Please come again real soon.

Hot damn, that's the best dessert I ever
ate.

Next time, sir, please warn me before
you do that.

So I can enjoy it, of course.

Oh, the last time I did that, you
slipped my face.

We have a new policy here now.

Would you like to see our special menu?

Yeah, I'd love to.

let's see, we have the oral quickie for
$9 .98, the deluxe quickie with a hand

job and ball suck for $12 .98, we have a
straight suck for $19 .98, a suck

with an oriental variation for $24 .98,
and the Greek

suck with the anal surprise for $49 .98.

So what's your pleasure?

Well,

too much money on me right now, so I
guess I'll sell for the oral cookie.

Right away, sir.

Holy shit.

Hojo's was never like this.

Be sure to lick your plate.

They got something special there for
now.

Why don't you try our raw bread on a
sesame seed bun?

Why don't you try two sunny -side up?

How about cookie pie?

Good.

Oh, I know it's so good.

But don't, don't go.

You're on, girl!

Becky stepped out of her usual cool to
interview quarterback Jock Strass. Jock

Strass! I'm always worse at interviews,
Jock Strass! I'm never good at

interviews!

To interview quarterback Jock Strass, of
the South Florida

Suns, she posed to him that penetrating
question.

or help your family members.

Will somebody say roll the fucking tape?

Roll the fucking tape.

Hello, this is Rebecca Wallflower
covering our interview of Jacques

famous quarterback of the Salsamita
Saucers for WFDS Network Channel 69.

Mr. Strapp, I'd like to get some
information for our viewers about your

exercises.

Tell me, Jacques, does sex interfere
with your passing average?

No, I can make a pass anytime, day or
night.

But seriously, Jacques, I'm sure our
viewers would like to take a look at

marvelous figure.

Would you mind taking off your shirt?

No, I'm fine.

Tell me, John, I'm sure everyone would
like to know what kind of exercises you

do to keep in shape.

Oh, I fuck.

No, I meant what kind of exercises.

Like I said before, the only way to stay
in shape is you fuck.

Well, besides fucking, what other
exercises do you do?

Oh, well, I do a very impressive push
-up.

Very impressive push -up.

Well, can we say that?

Oh, sure. I'll have to show you.

Before I do, I have to take my pants
off. It cuts down on my flexibility.

I see.

Oh, and if you wouldn't mind, could you
take off your pants, too?

I can't see where that would help you do
a push -up.

Well, if you don't mind, you have to
take your shirt off, because it helps me

my... gives me the incentive to give
energy to help me do them properly.

Could you take your shirt off, please?

All right. I guess in our viewers'
interest, I could do that, if it would

you.

Yeah, we're all set.

Okay, now if you just lay back here,
I'll show you how I do my push -ups.

Just lay back there.

Okay, push -up, here we go.

We'll come back.

Well, if you thought my push -ups were
impressive, why don't you lay back here

and take off your pants, and I'll show
you my push -ins.

Oh, that sounds delightful.

Hmm.

We're bringing you the weather report.

Here's the national weather report for
today.

Rain, snow, sleet, sunshine, cloudy
skies, overcast, dry, hot,

humid, and horny.

Depending on where you are.

Now, for the local news.

In the valley, it has been there.

But in the bush, it gets extremely wet.

You know, my brush hasn't been very wet
lately.

A little precipitation couldn't hurt.

Hello, lovey.

All you home viewers who like to see
participation in the making.

That's fun.

That's fun.

Come on.

Thank you, nation.

Moving on, moving on.

Come along, come along.

Okay.

Over here in the hilly country.

There was a mudslide.

Poor,

poor deer.

But over in the forest... The

rain did nicely for the growth of the
trees.

Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?

It sure is.

It'd be nice if you were raining on me.

Oh, well, that could be arranged.

Where's the dressing room?

Well, it's down the hall, and it's the
third door on the right.

On the right.

Don't go on the third door on the left.
That's where the gay newsmen hang out.

That's all I knew.

See you tonight.

Yes, I'll see you.

What did you say?

What's left?

Mustn't try to hurt our weather map.

Little more precipitation, little more
growth of trees.

And dampness in the bush, once again.

disturb the neighbors. But everything's
fine now.

That's our weather report for today.
Back to you, Becca.

Ciao.

Thank you, Josephine. That was a
wonderful weather report.

Rosie? Oh, shit.

So much for dirt sex.

I'm going to quit.

Today in democratic conventions around
the world, we found that... Why are you

talking about the democratic convention?

Want to get it off? Oh yeah, I want to
get it off.

Oh, wait a minute. Let me just... Yeah,
maybe... Yeah,

I think...

I can

start listening now.

Yeah,

I

think this is going to work.

Let me see you do it, because maybe
that'll loosen the apples a bit.

See how nice a mist mine is?

Just keep doing this and it'll just dry
out. I feel things.

Oh, man, I can see just watching you.

Yeah, I can feel it just loosening up.

Well, maybe if I suck your nipple a
little, it'll ease the pain a little.

Maybe if I puss you, sometimes it hurts
too.

It's no use, Rebecca.

I'm never gonna get it out. Let's just
go back to doing the news.

I just thought it was time you ate my
pussy, bitch.

And we'll be right back with our
exclusive report on the sex of Memphis

few brief messages.

Time blossom, your friendly stewardess
on love airways.

The lusty way to fly.

And I'd like you to meet one of our very
satisfied customers.

How was your flight, sir?

Very good.

Do you like coffee, tea, or milk?

Milk, please.

Oh, very well.

High -protein content.

Ah, yes. My mother always told me you
can't nip on these.

Love always is the best.

Love airways, the lusty way to fly.

Mm -mm -mm, good.

And now, as a special treat for our
viewers of WFEX Channel 69, we have,

to 3 a .m., music to come by.

We'd like to slip pussy cream and
cashews.

Turn your genitals into a fruit salad.

And for your eating pleasure, it comes
in a sort of flavor. And you will too.

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, cherry,
and our new flavor, banana coconut.

Well, here comes the mailman.

So we can try it on him.

Great. Hi, Mr. Mailman.

Hi, ladies.

Would you like to try to guess what
flavor we are?

I'd love to.

It's not right. No, no, it's not right.

It's scary.

That's right.

Okay, now it's my turn. I'm trying to
see if you can throw it away, but I

haven't. Oh, I'd love to try.

When I see you standing there, I get a
funny feeling. I know you've got a big

surprise, cause you know what I like.

Salmon drops and lollipops and balls of
cotton candy.

Give me something sweet to eat and I'll
give you my heart.

Mr. Mailman, which flavor do you think I
have on?

Mr.

Mailman?

Mr.

Mailman, come on. Bring up the
commercial.

Chocolate. No, no.

No other flavor.

Mr.

Mailman? Mr. Mailman?

Which flavor?

Vanilla. No.

I think I have it.

It's a mailman.

Cherry. Right.

Now, we're going to show you how
luscious lips can also be used as a cop

We're going to test our new banana
coconut on our mailman.

Banana coconut can turn your night into
a tropical delight.

Now watch closely.

Put them on your fingertips.

A bit around the tip.

Up and down.

Like this. And then you suck it. Like
this.

Mmm.

It's delicious.

I think I like this one the best of all.

You got it all.

Wasn't that a delight?

A tropical delight.

Remember, ladies, luscious lips will
turn your nights into tropical delights.

And now, as promised, here is my
exclusive piece on this 1984 Sex

Exclusive? My ass.

Bitch.

Hello, this is...

This is Rebecca Wallflower from WSDX
Network, Channel 69. We're here at the

of the famous Sex Olympics.

The first contest is going to be the
Deep Throat Contest. Whoever can make

gentleman come first wins a gold medal.

Our contestants are warming up.

All right.

Now, everyone, strip and line up. Get
ready for action.

Let's go, girls.

But wait a minute, folks. Tragedy is
struck here on the set of the Sex

There's one contestant without a girl.

Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to fill
in.

Hey, what about me?

Huh? Well, here I am to do my bit for
sports.

I mean, we can't let this poor man be
all by himself, can we?

Remember, folks, whoever comes first
gets the gold medal.

Well, fancy that. I guess I won.

Heh heh heh!

Thank you.

I won, I won, hooray!

Well,

folks,

you've just seen history in the making.
Not since Matt Litt has anyone ever won

so many gold medals.

I just want to thank all the little
people that made this possible.

Oh, shit.

That has been our news for the evening.
I hope you've enjoyed the broadcast,

ladies and gentlemen. If there are any
out there, it has been my dream. Wait a

minute. Wait a minute. Just because
you're the anchor person doesn't mean

you get credit for all the news and you
always get the same.

Rebecca Walsh.