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1
00:00:16,617 --> 00:00:19,718
( The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again" playing )
2
00:00:30,798 --> 00:00:34,466
♪ We'll be fighting In the streets ♪
3
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:38,470
♪ With our children At our feet ♪
4
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:42,041
♪ And the morals that They worship will be gone ♪
5
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:49,048
♪ And the men Who spurred us on ♪
6
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:52,384
♪ Sit in judgment Of all wrong ♪
7
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:56,722
♪ They decide and the shotgun Sings the song ♪
8
00:01:00,227 --> 00:01:03,695
♪ I'll tip my hat To the new constitution ♪
9
00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:07,332
♪ Take a bow For the new revolution ♪
10
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,769
♪ Smile and grin At the change all around ♪
11
00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,339
♪ Pick up my guitar and play ♪
12
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,309
♪ Just like yesterday ♪
13
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:20,546
♪ Then I'll get on my knees And pray ♪
14
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:28,087
♪ We don't get fooled again ♪
15
00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:32,524
MR. DUNPHY:
Hey, Dildo,
get that mangy mutt out of here.
16
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,426
( whimpering )
17
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,362
DUNPH:
Dildo. That's what my old man called me,
18
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:38,831
Dildo Dunphy.
19
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:46,405
TOMMY:
Can you believe
this fucking town?
20
00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,573
DUNPH:
This blows.
21
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:48,574
DRUGS:
Dunph,
give me another beer.
22
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,577
None left.
Just lemonade.
23
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:53,145
All right.
24
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,517
Hey, let's go
to the parking lot.
25
00:01:58,519 --> 00:02:00,385
What for?
All guys.
26
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,454
How about the field?
27
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,289
Fuck the field.
28
00:02:04,291 --> 00:02:06,792
Where do the girls go
at night, huh?
29
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,261
You know what?
We should go to the edge.
30
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,263
Sully stinkfingered Bunny Cote
over there.
31
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,432
What?
They were doing bongs and shit.
32
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:15,534
And he stinkfingered her
in his car.
33
00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,836
With his finger, Sully.
How do you know?
34
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:21,173
His finger stunk.
Drugs,
35
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:23,575
you smelled his finger?
36
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,379
You retard.
37
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,414
DUNPH:
That's my brother, Jackie.
38
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:31,750
He had a freak accident when he was a kid.
39
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:33,886
You see,we were playing touch football,
40
00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:35,521
and, uh, well, he fell off the roof.
41
00:02:35,523 --> 00:02:37,856
CAVWICH:
Everybody's hard on Nixon.
42
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,225
JOEY:
Right, well, why not?
Guy's a putz.
43
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:43,362
He didn't do nothing all
those other assholes didn't do.
44
00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:45,364
Yeah, he did.
He got pinched.
45
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,432
CAVWICH:
Please, that was
a fucking witch-hunt.
46
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,668
Those two Jewish bastards gave
a shit about this country,
47
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,203
they'd have kept
their traps shut.
48
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:53,305
Cavwich,
Woodward ain't Jewish, okay?
49
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:55,774
Those guys are reporters.
They're just doing their job.
50
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,609
They're stool pigeons.
51
00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,478
You don't accuse
the president
52
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,879
of the highest office
in the land of stuff
53
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:02,681
when all you got is
some lousy erased tapes.
54
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:04,449
It isn't enough.
55
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,852
Especially all the guy's trying
to do is cover his own ass.
56
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,487
Thank you.
57
00:03:08,489 --> 00:03:10,422
What did this clown ever do
for us besides go to China?
58
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,491
CAVWICH: I guarantee...
DUNPH: Jackie.
59
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,726
...that 20 years from now,
because of Nixon,
60
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:17,629
that our friends will be
right beside us fighting.
61
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,731
DUNPH: Jackie.
What's up?
62
00:03:19,733 --> 00:03:22,401
Go in my room
and get me my bong.
63
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:24,703
JACKIE: Which one?
The big one.
64
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:28,440
Dildo, what the hell are
you doing out there?
65
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,908
He's getting my jacket.
66
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:33,378
I didn't want to bug you guys
during your game.
67
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,880
What bug?
Who are you bugging?
68
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:38,250
Now drag your pimply ass in here
and say hi to the guys.
69
00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:40,686
Show some class,
for crissakes.
70
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,756
Dunph, I can't go in there.
I'm too fucked up.
71
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:50,362
CAVWICH:
Hey, Dildo!
72
00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,364
What are you other
dip-shits up to?
73
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,499
Nothing.
74
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,701
CAVWICH:
Hey, Mousy.
75
00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:56,969
Hmm?
76
00:03:56,971 --> 00:03:58,303
What's this shit?
77
00:03:58,305 --> 00:04:01,240
That's a beard.
78
00:04:01,242 --> 00:04:03,408
What the fuck does someone your
age need a beard for?
79
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,345
You know what they say about
guys with beards, aren't you?
80
00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:08,947
Queers.
Queers?
81
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,816
Yeah, every one of them.
82
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,784
What do you think
they're going for?
83
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,786
They're afraid they look
too much like broads.
84
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,488
DUNPH:
That's Cavwich.
85
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,924
He's a used-car salesman, claims he's connected.
86
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,560
What about Abraham Lincoln?
87
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:24,429
Lincoln? Queer as they come.
88
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,932
You got farts
in your head.
89
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,734
I'm telling you,
it's true.
90
00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:31,436
It ain't me.
Look it up in the book.
91
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,672
Here, Dunph,
here's your jacket.
92
00:04:33,674 --> 00:04:35,807
( bong clatters )
93
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:38,310
( all groan )
94
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,646
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the fuck?
95
00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:47,619
What in the world
is this contraption?
96
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,755
It's a horn.
97
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,323
MR. DUNPHY:
A horn?
98
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:54,660
Yeah, you know,
like a music horn.
99
00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,029
Yeah, it's a horn.
100
00:04:57,031 --> 00:05:00,399
Okay, Satchmo, why don't you
play us a few notes?
101
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,775
( blows air )
102
00:05:14,048 --> 00:05:17,416
( blows air )
103
00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,319
All right, ass-bag.
Enough of that nonsense.
104
00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:21,887
Why don't you and those other
ass-bags get out of here
105
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,589
and quit bugging us?
106
00:05:24,591 --> 00:05:26,458
DUNPH:
See you later.
107
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:27,959
( boys chattering )
108
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:29,795
( laughs )
109
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:32,864
♪ I'd like to know where You got the notion ♪
110
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,032
♪ To rock the boat ♪
111
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:35,567
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
112
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:36,702
♪ Rock the boat ♪
113
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:37,736
♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪
114
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:38,837
♪ Rock the boat ♪
115
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,005
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
116
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,641
♪ Rock the boat ♪
117
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:51,350
♪ Ever since our voyage Of love began ♪
118
00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:53,652
♪ Your touch has thrilled me Like the rush of the wind ♪
119
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,787
They look like
a bunch of fags.
120
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,490
I know.
121
00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:00,759
I'd be a fag too if
I could get that kind of pussy.
122
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,794
You just said
you'd be a fag.
123
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,730
Yeah. Then I could get
that kind of pussy.
124
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,433
No amount of babes in the world
is worth being a homo for.
125
00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,702
Hey,
there's Bunny Cote.
126
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,573
( chattering )
127
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,509
Let's go talk to her.
128
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,845
No, I'm not talking to her.
You go talk to her.
129
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,914
Hey, Dunph.
130
00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:24,916
Hi, Bunny.
131
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:27,519
Want to dance?
132
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:30,655
Nah. I'm not very good
at disco dancing.
133
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:34,526
So just regular dance.
Come on.
134
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,761
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
135
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:42,401
♪ Rock the boat ♪
136
00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:46,605
♪ Up to nowWe sailed through every storm ♪
137
00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,876
♪ And I've always had your Tender lips to keep me warm ♪
138
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:55,514
♪ Oh, I need to have the Strength that flows from you ♪
139
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:57,582
♪ Don't let me drift away My dear ♪
140
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:02,120
Cut it out, huh?
You look like an asshole.
141
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,089
Sorry.
142
00:07:04,091 --> 00:07:07,092
♪ Our love is like A ship on the ocean ♪
143
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:09,795
Hey.
144
00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:12,664
♪ Mississippi queen ♪
145
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:16,168
♪ If you know what I mean ♪
146
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:19,771
♪ Mississippi queen ♪
147
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,073
So how's Sully?
148
00:07:22,075 --> 00:07:25,110
Write the fucking thing, please?
Write the fucking thing.
149
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:28,213
All gone.
150
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,816
( boys laughing )
151
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,685
Whoa, That fucking
packs a punch, man.
152
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:36,221
( boys chattering and laughing )
153
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,130
Aw, fuck.
154
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,998
Aw, shit.
155
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:49,801
Oh, fuck me.
156
00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,505
Oh, my God.
157
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,540
( thunder crashes )
158
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:12,824
MR. DUNPHY:
A horn, huh?
159
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:17,496
A music horn.
160
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,836
Fuck.
161
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,638
Damn moron.
( engine turns over )
162
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,610
( dog barking )
163
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,913
A prep school?
What's a prep school?
164
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,815
It's to prepare you
165
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,951
for not getting
your neck broke by me.
166
00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,954
You're just goddamn lucky
Cavwich had pull with the judge.
167
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,056
Grass, no license.
168
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,260
You hit
a parked cop car.
169
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,596
Don't get me started
again, Dildo.
170
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,733
But, Pop,
I'm gonna be a senior.
171
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,135
You can't send me away
my senior year.
172
00:08:57,137 --> 00:09:00,539
Aw, let me go
and get my violin.
173
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:02,974
One more thing.
174
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:07,212
Cut that fucking mop
on top of your head
175
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:10,148
or I will cut it
for you.
176
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,290
DUNPH:
Just can't believe
this shit.
177
00:09:18,292 --> 00:09:20,592
Look at my fucking head.
178
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,595
So, where is this place
anyway?
179
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:26,831
Two and a half hours from here
in Cornwall, Connecticut.
180
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,968
Least you'll be getting out
of this fucking shithole.
181
00:09:29,970 --> 00:09:32,137
You really think the Bucket's
a shithole, mousy?
182
00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:34,906
Should put a toilet seat
on top of this place.
183
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,008
If it sucks so bad, why don't
you move to Providence?
184
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:38,743
Like that would
change anything.
185
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,647
California. When I graduate
that's where I'm heading.
186
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,317
California. They got babes
like a bastard out there.
187
00:09:45,319 --> 00:09:48,053
MOUSY:
It's because they're rich there.
188
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,188
Rich guys marry babes.
It's called breeding.
189
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:53,959
They got babes, they got weed.
They got cars that don't rust.
190
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:57,862
Weed and cars that don't rust?
Fucking A, I'm all over that.
191
00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:02,133
You fucking losers go.
I'm staying right here.
192
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:04,769
( tender theme playing )
193
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,978
So, uh...
194
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:15,280
You think Bunny goes out
on dates?
195
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,882
Bunny Cote?
Yeah.
196
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,250
Drugs, she fucks everybody
in town.
197
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,987
I know. I'm just saying.
I'm just saying, you know.
198
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,789
I'll go to the movies
by myself.
199
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,324
Hey, Drugs,
200
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,260
if you had to say
who was your best friend,
201
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,629
you would say me, right?
202
00:10:30,631 --> 00:10:32,664
No question.
203
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,166
Yeah, if you blow me.
Why?
204
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,168
Nah, man.
Come on.
205
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,205
I need you to do something
for me.
206
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,773
What?
207
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,908
Well, you got to
say yes first.
208
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:45,810
All right, yes.
Now what?
209
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,080
All right.
210
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,016
I know it's
a pain in the ass,
211
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,785
but you got to help Jackie with
the paper route while I'm gone.
212
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,421
Just while I'm gone,
Drugs.
213
00:10:58,225 --> 00:10:59,891
Is it the morning paper?
214
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,693
DUNPH:
That was the difference between Drugs
215
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,862
and the rest of the guys. He was more reliable.
216
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,830
If he gave you his word,
217
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,899
there was a fifty-fifty chance he'd come through.
218
00:11:07,901 --> 00:11:09,934
Here's 30 frog pelts for you.
219
00:11:09,936 --> 00:11:12,771
Oh, and please don't thank me.
It's just a loan.
220
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:16,207
Don't give me that look,
Dildo.
221
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:18,877
You're one lucky bastard,
and you don't know it.
222
00:11:18,879 --> 00:11:21,179
What I wouldn't give
for an opportunity like this
223
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,348
when I was a kid, and your first
homework assignment
224
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:24,983
is to write
a letter to Cavwich
225
00:11:24,985 --> 00:11:26,785
and thank him for getting you
into this place.
226
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,119
And don't forget
what the judge said.
227
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:32,090
You don't graduate,
it's one year in Socko.
228
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,326
Heh. Prep school don't sound
so bad now, huh, Dildo?
229
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:40,832
Take it easy, Dunph.
230
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,935
Yeah, you too, Jackie.
231
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:45,737
MR. DUNPHY:
All right. Come on.
Let's go.
232
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,372
You're gonna miss the bus.
233
00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,442
( Argent's "Hold Your Head Up" playing )
234
00:11:50,444 --> 00:11:53,445
Hey, Dunph.
The Jets game.
235
00:11:53,447 --> 00:11:55,080
Don't forget.
236
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,347
Yeah, all right.
237
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:57,816
MR. DUNPHY:
All right.
Come on. Come on.
238
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,391
♪ And if it's bad ♪
239
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,427
♪ Don't let it get you down ♪
240
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:12,931
♪ You can take it ♪
241
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,766
DUNPH:
My old man always wondered
242
00:12:14,768 --> 00:12:17,001
if Cavwich really hadthe connections he said he did.
243
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:18,336
I guess there was no doubt
244
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,004
after what happened with the judge
245
00:12:20,006 --> 00:12:22,440
and me getting into this place.
246
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,242
Thanks a lot, Cavwich.
247
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:27,045
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
248
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,481
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
249
00:12:29,483 --> 00:12:32,117
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
250
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:35,086
♪ Hold your head high ♪
251
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,789
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
252
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:40,391
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
253
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,228
♪ Hold your head up, woman ♪
254
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,765
♪ Hold your head high ♪
255
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:50,168
( all chattering )
256
00:13:15,862 --> 00:13:16,828
FUNDERBURK:
Mr. Dunphy.
257
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,967
Right this way.
258
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:26,070
I'm Mr. Funderburk,
your dorm master.
259
00:13:26,072 --> 00:13:28,873
These are the rules.
260
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:31,876
Listen carefully.
261
00:13:31,878 --> 00:13:35,180
No smoking, no drinking,
no drugs, no sex,
262
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:38,283
no cheating, no lying,
no gambling, no matches.
263
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,418
No shit?
264
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,987
No swearing.
265
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,256
No showering after dinner.
266
00:13:45,258 --> 00:13:47,959
Be in your room by 10 p.m.,
lights out at 10:30,
267
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,161
and no locks allowed
on the door.
268
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,063
Don't go into town
without written permission.
269
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,965
There are many other rules.
270
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:57,101
Here's your handbook.
Study it.
271
00:13:57,103 --> 00:13:58,903
If you get caught breaking
any of those rules,
272
00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:01,840
you'll be stung with work hours
after class.
273
00:14:03,310 --> 00:14:05,376
( bell tolls )
274
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,249
JACK:
Hey.
275
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:14,152
Fonzie.
Where you going?
276
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,223
The assembly.
277
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:19,424
Like that?
278
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,928
( all chattering )
279
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:30,902
Thanks, man.
280
00:14:30,904 --> 00:14:32,537
DEAN:
Settle down, people.
281
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:35,306
Settle down. Settle down.
Settle down.
282
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,342
Today,
283
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:43,214
we commence Cornwall Academy's
82nd year of existence.
284
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,316
BOY:
Boring.
285
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:49,287
In the past 10 years,
other institutions of our ilk
286
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:54,158
have chosen to liberalize
their curriculum.
287
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,195
While these other institutions
288
00:14:57,197 --> 00:15:00,999
have grown to expect less
from their students,
289
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:04,335
we here at Cornwall
expect more.
290
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,272
Now, you new students
might not fully understand
291
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:10,041
exactly what
this commitment means.
292
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:12,410
So I will leave you now
293
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:16,948
while Mr. Funderburk chooses
a returning student
294
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:21,619
to rise and recite
our school fight song.
295
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:23,321
( scattered applause )
296
00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,456
Welcome.
297
00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,025
BOY:
Funderjerk.
298
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,300
( all clearing throats )
299
00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,535
Mr. Irving Waltham.
300
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:39,337
BOY 1:
Jizz!
301
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:43,508
Would you please rise and sing
for us the school fight song?
302
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,576
BOY 2:
Go, Jizz!
303
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,046
( scattered laughter )
304
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,518
BOY 3 ( whispering ):
He looks like he's gonna
piss his pants.
305
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,987
( boys whispering )
306
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,189
♪ As... ♪
307
00:15:58,191 --> 00:16:01,159
♪ We stand tall ♪
308
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:04,963
♪ At old Cornwall ♪
309
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:09,200
♪ Our spirits tried and true ♪
310
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:13,404
♪ Our minds are strong ♪
311
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,975
BOY 4 ( whispering ):
"Our spirits
tried and true."
312
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:20,445
♪ Our spirits tried and true ♪
313
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,348
( scattered laughter )
314
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,584
It seems Mr. Waltham
has forgotten the words.
315
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,386
No, I...
316
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:29,721
♪ Our spirits... ♪
317
00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:32,757
Gentlemen, who here thinks
318
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,692
that we should extend
to Mr. Waltham
319
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,261
the proper motivation
320
00:16:37,263 --> 00:16:41,032
so that he will never again
forget the school fight song?
321
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:43,601
IRV:
No, I know the song! Stop!
322
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:45,436
Put me down.
I know the song!
323
00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,306
( boys cheering )
324
00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,375
♪ Our minds are strong ♪
325
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:52,076
♪ Our work days long ♪
326
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:55,279
♪ Our toils we ere see through ♪
327
00:16:55,281 --> 00:16:58,683
Would you stop that,
please?
328
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,618
Would you stop that,
please?
329
00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,287
I'm trying to study.
330
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:05,356
Yeah, me too.
331
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:08,526
And this is the first thing
I want to learn.
332
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,262
I'd take another peek at it
if I was you.
333
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,197
I already told you.
I know that song.
334
00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,600
I got nervous.
I do that.
335
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,702
I get nervous.
336
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:19,370
What are you studying
down there anyway?
337
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,039
Class stuff.
338
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:23,608
Classes don't start
until tomorrow, kid.
339
00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,076
You mean
you haven't started studying?
340
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,278
Oh, man.
You're never gonna catch up.
341
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,080
( alarm buzzes )
342
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:32,350
10:30.
Lights out.
343
00:17:32,352 --> 00:17:35,386
Oh, okay. Give me five more
minutes with this thing.
344
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,388
No, I already got
three hours tomorrow
345
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,057
for not knowing
that stupid song.
346
00:17:39,059 --> 00:17:41,292
DUNPH:
Okay, buddy, calm down.
347
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,801
( tender theme playing )
348
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:52,403
DUNPH:
I've never been apart from my brother Jackie
349
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,539
in my whole life, and already I was starting to miss him.
350
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,741
I felt kind of bad
351
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:59,744
about the way I left things at the bus station.
352
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,146
I knew I wouldn't sleep until I talked to him.
353
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:03,714
Ow.
354
00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,249
Sorry.
355
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,285
What are you doing?
356
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:08,786
I got to make a phone call.
357
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,122
You can't make a phone call
after 10:00.
358
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,624
Lights are out.
359
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,160
That's it, man.
( door closes )
360
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:20,331
Now you're gonna get stung.
361
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,233
OPERATOR:
Will you accept a collect call from Tim?
362
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,202
MR. DUNPHY: Tim Dunphy?
Yes.
363
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,170
For crissakes, you just left today.
364
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:27,572
I gotta talk to Jackie.
365
00:18:27,574 --> 00:18:29,707
OPERATOR:
Do you accept the call?
366
00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:33,211
MR. DUNPHY:
Come on. It's 11:00. You know I got to work tomorrow.
367
00:18:33,213 --> 00:18:34,645
OPERATOR:
I'm going to disconnect you now.
368
00:18:34,647 --> 00:18:36,547
Just tell Jackie
that I'll take him...
369
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,149
( line disconnects )
370
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,352
...to the game.
371
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:48,359
( boys chattering )
372
00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,728
I told you
you'd get stung.
373
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,864
I hope your phone call
was worth it.
374
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,765
Hey, Jizz. Catch.
375
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,534
Ow! Unh.
376
00:18:56,536 --> 00:18:59,270
Hey! Hey!
377
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,671
BOY:
That's gonna leave a mark.
378
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:02,673
IRV:
My glasses.
379
00:19:04,277 --> 00:19:07,678
I can't...
I can't find my...
380
00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:10,448
( whistles )
381
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:19,490
We got about 10 minutes till
Clusterfuck makes his rounds.
382
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,692
( Lee Michael's "Do You Know What I Mean" playing )
383
00:19:21,694 --> 00:19:26,197
♪ Been 40 days Since I don't know when ♪
384
00:19:26,199 --> 00:19:29,400
♪ I just saw her With my best friend ♪
385
00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,569
♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪
386
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:37,475
Dunph, Billy Fu.
He's Middle Eastern.
387
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,746
He's a good shit.
388
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:45,750
Got the best reefer
on campus.
389
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:48,386
♪ Do you know what I mean? ♪
390
00:19:48,388 --> 00:19:50,688
( bubbling )
391
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,257
♪ Lord, do you know What I mean? ♪
392
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,930
( inhaling )
393
00:20:02,435 --> 00:20:03,701
( exhales )
( laughs )
394
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,504
( Dunph coughing )
395
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,739
BILLY:
It's a barrel of laughs,
eh, Dunph?
396
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:10,775
♪ Do you know Know what I mean? ♪
397
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:14,612
All righty, class.
398
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:20,551
Who can tell me what X equals?
399
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:24,822
Okay.
Mr... Mr. Dunphy.
400
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,328
Mr. Dunphy?
401
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:33,564
Um...
402
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:35,666
I think
I'm in the wrong class.
403
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:40,605
In 1933,
404
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:44,609
who launched the New Deal?
405
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:49,714
Mr. Dunphy.
406
00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,916
Mr. Dunphy?
407
00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:55,853
Who launched the New Deal?
408
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:58,256
Um...
409
00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,523
NASA?
410
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:02,260
( students laugh )
411
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,295
What we're gonna do here today
is I'm gonna go around the room,
412
00:21:04,297 --> 00:21:05,930
and I'd like each of you
to name your favorite author.
413
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,865
Hemingway.
Salinger.
414
00:21:07,867 --> 00:21:09,700
Faulkner.
415
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:10,968
Uh, Hamlet.
416
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,637
Jack London.
417
00:21:12,639 --> 00:21:14,905
JACK:
So, what are you doing
on Sunday afternoon?
418
00:21:14,907 --> 00:21:17,808
Summarizing the works
of William Shakespeare.
419
00:21:17,810 --> 00:21:20,845
Ohh. You should have gone
with Salinger,
420
00:21:20,847 --> 00:21:22,413
because he only wrote
a couple of books.
421
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:23,848
DUNPH:
Whoa, wait a second.
422
00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,683
♪ Goddess on a mountaintop ♪
423
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:29,553
♪ Burning like a silver flame ♪
424
00:21:29,555 --> 00:21:32,690
♪ The summit Of beauty and love ♪
425
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,358
♪ And Venus was her name ♪
426
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:35,893
Who-- Who's--
427
00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:37,862
What are you, an owl?
428
00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:39,664
Forget it.
429
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:40,765
( laughs )
430
00:21:40,767 --> 00:21:42,400
JACK:
Her name's Jane Weston,
431
00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:43,934
hands down the coolest chick
in school.
432
00:21:43,936 --> 00:21:46,504
Forget it.
433
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,372
♪ I'm your fire ♪
434
00:21:48,374 --> 00:21:49,307
♪ At your desire ♪
435
00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,908
Oh.
436
00:21:52,578 --> 00:21:55,079
Little help, please?
437
00:21:55,081 --> 00:21:56,580
Yeah.
438
00:22:04,891 --> 00:22:05,723
( scoffs )
439
00:22:08,394 --> 00:22:09,994
Thanks.
440
00:22:09,996 --> 00:22:12,596
Thanks.
441
00:22:12,598 --> 00:22:14,732
DEAN:
Mr. Dunphy,
442
00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:18,469
do you have
a friend called "Drugs"?
443
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:21,539
Drugs Delaney?
444
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:24,442
How many individuals
named "Drugs"
445
00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:26,577
could you possibly
associate with?
446
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:29,914
Just one.
447
00:22:29,916 --> 00:22:33,984
Yesterday, we received a,
uh, a letter addressed simply
448
00:22:33,986 --> 00:22:38,055
to Cornwall Academy,
Cornwall, Connecticut.
449
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:42,426
So, naturally, we, uh--
We opened it and read it.
450
00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,395
And...
451
00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:46,597
You might want to sit down.
452
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:51,802
It begins,
"Greetings, Dunph.
453
00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:53,804
"What's happening?
454
00:22:53,806 --> 00:22:57,742
"I got your letter today.
455
00:22:57,744 --> 00:23:01,112
"Cornhole Academy
456
00:23:01,114 --> 00:23:05,416
"sounds like it really sucks the big one.
457
00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:07,918
"I can't believe they make everyone
458
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,689
"work a lot and not smoke.
459
00:23:11,691 --> 00:23:14,859
"You should tell that piece of shit Funderturd
460
00:23:14,861 --> 00:23:17,027
"to shove it.
461
00:23:17,029 --> 00:23:19,730
"You didn't want to go there
in the first place.
462
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:22,032
"Eat shit, man.
463
00:23:22,034 --> 00:23:25,870
"Today, you should have
seen me and Mousy today
464
00:23:25,872 --> 00:23:28,472
at school today."
465
00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:31,509
We got cocked on a pint
of blackberry brandy,
466
00:23:31,511 --> 00:23:34,745
ate some THC on the bus.
467
00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:36,680
"We were fucked.
468
00:23:36,682 --> 00:23:39,450
This teacher, Mr. Rivera,
goes..."
469
00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:42,553
"What's wrong with you,
Delaney?"
470
00:23:42,555 --> 00:23:46,757
I go,
"I'm totally fucked, man!"
471
00:23:46,759 --> 00:23:50,961
"Everybody laughed
like a bastard."
472
00:23:50,963 --> 00:23:54,999
Oh, man. You should see
this song I'm listening to.
473
00:23:55,001 --> 00:23:59,136
"It's called 'Don't Bogart That
Joint, My Friend.'
474
00:23:59,138 --> 00:24:01,439
"I think it's by
a group called...
475
00:24:05,611 --> 00:24:07,011
( clears throat )
476
00:24:07,013 --> 00:24:09,713
"This is a couple
of hours later.
477
00:24:12,618 --> 00:24:16,086
Must have nodded out,
man."
478
00:24:16,088 --> 00:24:19,056
I got to go 'cause I probably
definitely gonna nod out again.
479
00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:20,157
You want me
to send you some...
480
00:24:20,159 --> 00:24:22,159
"...squeef?
481
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:24,762
"Or you got enough?
482
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:27,064
"Good luck
not getting caught.
483
00:24:27,066 --> 00:24:29,733
Cocked in Rhode Island."
484
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:32,203
Drugs.
485
00:24:35,074 --> 00:24:36,941
P.S...
486
00:24:36,943 --> 00:24:40,711
Oh, yes, there's a postscript
you might be interested in.
487
00:24:40,713 --> 00:24:46,016
"Mousy says he stinkfingered
Bunny Cote."
488
00:24:47,787 --> 00:24:50,087
As you might imagine,
Mr. Dunphy,
489
00:24:50,089 --> 00:24:53,090
this is -- This is--
This is fairly incriminating.
490
00:24:53,092 --> 00:24:55,926
And, uh, technically,
491
00:24:55,928 --> 00:24:58,729
you have not breached any
of Cornwall Academy's rules.
492
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:01,866
But you can bet
your bottom dollar, mister,
493
00:25:01,868 --> 00:25:05,069
we're gonna be keeping
an eye on you.
494
00:25:05,071 --> 00:25:08,873
( Wings' "Band on the Run" playing )
495
00:25:17,583 --> 00:25:21,886
♪ Well, the rain exploded With a mighty crash ♪
496
00:25:21,888 --> 00:25:25,122
♪ As we fell into the sun ♪
497
00:25:25,124 --> 00:25:28,893
♪ And the first one said To the second one there ♪
498
00:25:28,895 --> 00:25:32,796
♪ "I hope you're having fun" ♪
499
00:25:32,798 --> 00:25:36,066
♪ Band on the run ♪
500
00:25:36,068 --> 00:25:38,969
♪ Band on the run ♪
501
00:25:40,907 --> 00:25:42,806
Psst! Jackie!
502
00:25:42,808 --> 00:25:45,609
Don't worry,
the old man's in church.
503
00:25:48,681 --> 00:25:52,149
Where you been? The game's gonna
start pretty soon.
504
00:25:52,151 --> 00:25:55,686
Jackie, I've been thumbing
for two and a half hours.
505
00:25:55,688 --> 00:25:57,154
I'd get booted out
of that place
506
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:58,656
if they knew
I was doing this.
507
00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:00,124
You're giving me shit?
508
00:26:00,126 --> 00:26:02,826
Sorry.
509
00:26:02,828 --> 00:26:05,095
So how you doin'?
510
00:26:05,097 --> 00:26:08,265
Good.
511
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,834
How's the old man treating
old Clapsy here?
512
00:26:10,836 --> 00:26:13,270
Still won't let her
in the house.
513
00:26:13,272 --> 00:26:16,206
How's he treating you?
514
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:18,909
He's good.
A little quiet.
515
00:26:18,911 --> 00:26:20,811
Hmm.
516
00:26:20,813 --> 00:26:22,947
You know what else?
I think he misses you.
517
00:26:22,949 --> 00:26:26,016
Heh. Really?
518
00:26:26,018 --> 00:26:28,085
Yeah, he talks about you
like you're dead or something.
519
00:26:28,087 --> 00:26:30,087
Hmm.
520
00:26:33,225 --> 00:26:34,625
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
521
00:26:39,098 --> 00:26:42,900
JACKIE:
So does it suck,
this school you're going to?
522
00:26:42,902 --> 00:26:44,935
No, it's all right.
523
00:26:44,937 --> 00:26:46,303
Really?
524
00:26:47,707 --> 00:26:50,608
Actually, it sucks. The big one.
525
00:26:50,610 --> 00:26:52,710
And this guy Funderburk hates me
like a bastard.
526
00:26:52,712 --> 00:26:53,844
I'm like
the dumbest kid there
527
00:26:53,846 --> 00:26:56,814
and I gotta take
these retard classes.
528
00:26:56,816 --> 00:26:59,149
( car horn blares )
Come on.
529
00:26:59,151 --> 00:27:01,085
How come
they're not stopping?
530
00:27:01,087 --> 00:27:02,853
Probably because
of the wheelchair, huh?
531
00:27:02,855 --> 00:27:05,322
Probably? No, Jackie,
532
00:27:05,324 --> 00:27:07,324
it's definitely
because of the wheelchair.
533
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:09,293
Now quit your bitching
and let's move.
534
00:27:12,798 --> 00:27:15,065
DUNPH:
I never let Jackie feel bad for himself
535
00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:17,167
because I wanted him to fit in.
536
00:27:17,169 --> 00:27:20,137
Nobody wants to be around somebody they feel sorry for,
537
00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,840
so I treated him like any other kid brother.
538
00:27:27,880 --> 00:27:29,847
All right.
Quit your clowning.
539
00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,148
Come on.
540
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:37,988
How you doing?
What's up?
541
00:27:37,990 --> 00:27:40,057
Listen.
542
00:27:40,059 --> 00:27:42,326
I got my crippled
kid brother over there,
543
00:27:42,328 --> 00:27:43,327
and he's a big Namath fan.
544
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:46,063
And I was just wondering
545
00:27:46,065 --> 00:27:47,831
if maybe you could get us
onto the field.
546
00:27:49,869 --> 00:27:52,036
Tell you what. I can't
get you out on the field,
547
00:27:52,038 --> 00:27:54,838
but I got standing room only
up on the second level.
548
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:56,306
Bring him
right through here.
549
00:27:56,308 --> 00:27:58,876
Thank you so much.
550
00:27:58,878 --> 00:28:00,711
You ready?
Yeah.
551
00:28:00,713 --> 00:28:02,813
All right,
ham it up, okay?
552
00:28:05,151 --> 00:28:07,751
Thank you.
553
00:28:07,753 --> 00:28:09,720
( The Eagles' "Take it Easy" playing )
554
00:28:09,722 --> 00:28:13,323
♪ Well, I'm a-standin' on A corner in Winslow, Arizona ♪
555
00:28:13,325 --> 00:28:16,927
♪ And such a fine sight To see ♪
556
00:28:16,929 --> 00:28:20,264
♪ It's a girl, my lord, In a flatbed Ford ♪
557
00:28:20,266 --> 00:28:22,366
♪ Slowin' down To take a look at me ♪
558
00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:26,203
MR. WESTON:
Anytime today
would be good, son.
559
00:28:26,205 --> 00:28:27,905
Good lad.
560
00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:30,407
MRS. WESTON:
Jack, will you be nice?
561
00:28:30,409 --> 00:28:34,712
♪ I gotta know If your sweet love ♪
562
00:28:34,714 --> 00:28:35,979
JANE:
I liked the school.
563
00:28:35,981 --> 00:28:37,781
I just don't know
if it's right for me.
564
00:28:37,783 --> 00:28:39,750
The whole way it was presented,
you know?
565
00:28:39,752 --> 00:28:42,920
Well, my vote says you can't
go wrong with Dartmouth.
566
00:28:42,922 --> 00:28:45,289
Who says I can even
get in to Dartmouth?
567
00:28:45,291 --> 00:28:48,258
You get your boards up a little,
you'll get in.
568
00:28:48,260 --> 00:28:50,461
What about you?
569
00:28:50,463 --> 00:28:52,229
Tim.
570
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:53,997
Where are you going
next year?
571
00:28:53,999 --> 00:28:56,467
I'm thinking,
like, college.
572
00:28:59,505 --> 00:29:01,271
Any particular college?
573
00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:04,408
Yeah, probably.
574
00:29:06,178 --> 00:29:08,011
( chuckles )
575
00:29:14,286 --> 00:29:16,487
DUNPH:
I'll be right back.
576
00:29:16,489 --> 00:29:19,356
MR. WESTON:
Fill it up.
577
00:29:19,358 --> 00:29:21,792
♪ Well, I'm a-runnin' Down the road ♪
578
00:29:21,794 --> 00:29:23,327
♪ Trying to loosen my load ♪
579
00:29:23,329 --> 00:29:26,997
♪ Got a world of trouble On my mind ♪
580
00:29:26,999 --> 00:29:28,465
♪ Lookin' for a lover ♪
581
00:29:28,467 --> 00:29:30,801
I got an extra one just in case
you wanted one.
582
00:29:30,803 --> 00:29:32,169
Oh, thanks.
583
00:29:32,171 --> 00:29:33,437
Yeah.
584
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,908
Mmm.
What is this?
585
00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:40,244
( parents speaking
indistinctly )
586
00:29:40,246 --> 00:29:44,148
♪ Don't let the sound Of your own wheels ♪
587
00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:47,351
♪ Make you crazy ♪
588
00:29:47,353 --> 00:29:50,454
♪ Come on, baby ♪
589
00:29:50,456 --> 00:29:54,124
♪ Don't say maybe ♪
590
00:29:54,126 --> 00:29:57,795
♪ I got to know If your sweet love ♪
591
00:29:57,797 --> 00:30:01,198
♪ Is gonna save me ♪
592
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:03,100
MRS. WESTON:
Here we are.
593
00:30:08,808 --> 00:30:10,974
JANE:
Thanks for the Coke.
594
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:13,210
Good luck.
595
00:30:13,212 --> 00:30:14,578
DUNPH: Appreciate the ride.
MR. WESTON: No trouble at all.
596
00:30:14,580 --> 00:30:17,347
Nice to meet you, Jane.
597
00:30:17,349 --> 00:30:19,049
You too.
598
00:30:19,051 --> 00:30:21,418
♪ Oh, we got it easy ♪
599
00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:27,991
Billy Fu?
What are you doing up here?
600
00:30:27,993 --> 00:30:30,460
Isn't this Home Ec
with Perkins?
601
00:30:30,462 --> 00:30:32,029
Yeah.
602
00:30:32,031 --> 00:30:33,964
I'm in this class.
603
00:30:33,966 --> 00:30:35,933
I heard we were making
chocolate-chip cookies today.
604
00:30:35,935 --> 00:30:38,068
But, uh,
605
00:30:38,070 --> 00:30:40,871
I'm going
to make brownies.
606
00:30:42,274 --> 00:30:44,308
Well, where you been, huh?
607
00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:45,943
Term's half over.
608
00:30:45,945 --> 00:30:48,612
I've been taking it easy,
you know?
609
00:30:48,614 --> 00:30:52,950
You see, my father,
he donate $5 million to school,
610
00:30:52,952 --> 00:30:55,586
and, of course, they don't see
one Yankee dime
611
00:30:55,588 --> 00:30:58,288
until I graduate.
612
00:30:58,290 --> 00:30:59,890
( chuckles )
613
00:30:59,892 --> 00:31:02,526
My father's a very sharp
cookie, eh, Dunph?
614
00:31:02,528 --> 00:31:04,027
Very sharp.
615
00:31:07,433 --> 00:31:11,268
My mother thought
you were so funny.
616
00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:12,603
She did?
617
00:31:12,605 --> 00:31:15,572
He said he wants to go
to college in Arizona
618
00:31:15,574 --> 00:31:17,274
because it's on the water.
619
00:31:17,276 --> 00:31:18,575
( all laugh )
620
00:31:18,577 --> 00:31:20,911
My father thought
he was dead serious.
621
00:31:20,913 --> 00:31:22,946
Oh, you got them
pretty good.
622
00:31:22,948 --> 00:31:24,882
Oh, yeah,
they were cracking up
623
00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:26,950
all the way
to the girls' school.
624
00:31:26,952 --> 00:31:30,087
Anyway, I got to get going.
See you around, Wheeler.
625
00:31:30,089 --> 00:31:32,089
Bye, Jim.
626
00:31:33,259 --> 00:31:35,225
Bye, Jane.
627
00:31:37,897 --> 00:31:39,930
I don't get it.
628
00:31:39,932 --> 00:31:44,034
You tell me how Arizona
is not on the water.
629
00:31:44,036 --> 00:31:47,137
Dunph, that gray border
down there,
630
00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:49,406
that's not water.
That's Mexico.
631
00:31:50,910 --> 00:31:53,477
Still?
632
00:31:53,479 --> 00:31:56,179
Well, what the fuck was
the Alamo for?
633
00:31:56,181 --> 00:31:58,415
Look, Dunph,
634
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,651
I went through
the same kind of thing
635
00:32:00,653 --> 00:32:02,586
a couple
of summers ago.
636
00:32:02,588 --> 00:32:04,554
There was this girl
at camp I liked.
637
00:32:04,556 --> 00:32:06,256
At first,
she was really nice to me,
638
00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:08,058
then suddenly, she wouldn't even
give me the time of day.
639
00:32:12,498 --> 00:32:13,964
This is her.
640
00:32:16,001 --> 00:32:17,701
DUNPH:
Wow.
641
00:32:17,703 --> 00:32:21,672
S-S-She's--
She's something, Irv.
642
00:32:24,243 --> 00:32:27,544
Unfortunately,
she knows it.
643
00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:30,714
( upbeat rock theme playing )
644
00:32:41,260 --> 00:32:43,660
Hey.
Hey.
645
00:32:50,502 --> 00:32:52,302
Do you always do that?
646
00:32:52,304 --> 00:32:53,603
What?
647
00:32:53,605 --> 00:32:56,540
Uh, wash your pillow.
648
00:32:59,345 --> 00:33:01,411
Yeah, sometimes.
649
00:33:01,413 --> 00:33:03,380
When I'm in the mood.
650
00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:10,654
Toms Brook, Virginia.
Wow.
651
00:33:12,224 --> 00:33:14,624
That sounds like
a pretty cool place to be from.
652
00:33:14,626 --> 00:33:16,560
Yeah, it is.
653
00:33:18,697 --> 00:33:21,631
It must be beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
654
00:33:26,372 --> 00:33:29,773
So, what do people do around
here for fun? On the weekend?
655
00:33:29,775 --> 00:33:32,075
There's not much to do.
656
00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:33,744
You can go up in the woods
and get high.
657
00:33:33,746 --> 00:33:36,013
That's about it.
658
00:33:36,015 --> 00:33:39,282
( Steely Dan's "Do it Again" playing )
659
00:33:39,284 --> 00:33:41,451
( Jane laughs )
660
00:33:41,453 --> 00:33:44,021
So tell me about Pawtucket,
Jim.
661
00:33:44,023 --> 00:33:45,689
What do you want to know,
Betty?
662
00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:47,224
Betty?
663
00:33:47,226 --> 00:33:49,192
Tim.
664
00:33:49,194 --> 00:33:51,728
Oh! Heh. I'm sorry.
665
00:33:51,730 --> 00:33:53,430
( laughs )
666
00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:56,266
Heh. Wow.
667
00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:59,536
This is good weed.
Yeah, it's homegrown.
668
00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:02,639
A friend of mine,
in Pawtucket,
669
00:34:02,641 --> 00:34:07,577
every day he soaks
the weed in bug spray
670
00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:10,814
so when you smoking it,
you're also getting insecticide,
671
00:34:10,816 --> 00:34:12,783
which is a pretty good buzz
on its own.
672
00:34:14,686 --> 00:34:18,321
Have you smoked
insecticide on its own?
673
00:34:18,323 --> 00:34:20,791
Yeah, right?
What am I, stupid?
674
00:34:20,793 --> 00:34:22,793
I'm gonna smoke
a deadly poison?
675
00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:27,831
( both laughing )
676
00:34:27,833 --> 00:34:30,434
( Badfinger's "No Matter What" playing )
677
00:34:33,705 --> 00:34:37,207
♪ No matter what you are ♪
678
00:34:37,209 --> 00:34:38,775
Dunph!
679
00:34:38,777 --> 00:34:42,145
One, two...
680
00:34:42,147 --> 00:34:44,147
♪ Doesn't matter what you do ♪
681
00:34:44,149 --> 00:34:46,083
Three!
682
00:34:46,085 --> 00:34:48,418
That was very straight.
Good job.
683
00:34:50,456 --> 00:34:53,757
♪ No matter what you do ♪
684
00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:58,862
♪ I will always be around ♪
685
00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:02,265
♪ Won't you tell me What you found now ♪
686
00:35:03,769 --> 00:35:06,770
"At your pardon,
I will myself..."
687
00:35:07,806 --> 00:35:10,273
( whistling )
688
00:35:10,275 --> 00:35:12,309
DUNPH:
Hey.
689
00:35:12,311 --> 00:35:13,610
Dunph.
690
00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:16,480
♪ Be a part of it all ♪
691
00:35:16,482 --> 00:35:18,849
Aah!
692
00:35:18,851 --> 00:35:20,550
♪ Nothing to see ♪
693
00:35:20,552 --> 00:35:23,653
♪ Nothing would be ♪
694
00:35:23,655 --> 00:35:26,356
♪ No matter where you go ♪
695
00:35:28,894 --> 00:35:30,727
( imitating explosions )
696
00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:36,900
What's this?
697
00:35:36,902 --> 00:35:38,835
Read it.
698
00:35:45,744 --> 00:35:47,144
Brown University?
699
00:35:47,146 --> 00:35:48,778
They got one of these
in Providence, you know.
700
00:35:48,780 --> 00:35:51,648
There's only one, Dunph.
Just read it.
701
00:35:54,887 --> 00:35:58,688
"After reviewing
your application for admission,
702
00:35:58,690 --> 00:36:01,725
I am pleased
to inform you that you..."
703
00:36:02,928 --> 00:36:04,828
( laughs )
704
00:36:04,829 --> 00:36:06,729
"...have been accepted
to the graduating class
705
00:36:06,732 --> 00:36:08,832
of 1979
at Brown University."
706
00:36:08,834 --> 00:36:10,800
Yes.
707
00:36:10,802 --> 00:36:13,904
"Sincerely,
Jonathan S. Rogers Jr."
708
00:36:13,906 --> 00:36:16,640
So am I gonna
like Providence, Dunph?
709
00:36:16,642 --> 00:36:19,709
( laughs )
710
00:36:21,747 --> 00:36:24,181
Yeah,
we're gonna love it.
711
00:36:24,183 --> 00:36:25,315
"We're gonna love it"?
Yeah.
712
00:36:25,317 --> 00:36:26,449
Okay.
713
00:36:26,451 --> 00:36:28,451
( sighs )
714
00:36:28,453 --> 00:36:30,320
This is--
This is great.
715
00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:32,622
Congratulations.
716
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,457
Thank you.
717
00:36:37,696 --> 00:36:40,230
FUNDERBURK:
Mr. Dunphy.
718
00:36:40,232 --> 00:36:42,499
A word.
719
00:36:45,304 --> 00:36:47,704
Congratulations,
Mr. Dunphy.
720
00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:50,407
You've broken another record
here at Cornwall.
721
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:53,243
You've got more hours to work off
722
00:36:53,245 --> 00:36:55,912
than you've got time left in the semester.
723
00:36:55,914 --> 00:36:58,481
BOY 1:
I can't be late
to practice.
724
00:36:58,483 --> 00:37:00,283
BOY 2:
Yo, wait up.
725
00:37:00,285 --> 00:37:04,521
Okay, ladies, on our feet.
Chop, chop.
726
00:37:04,523 --> 00:37:07,591
Jenkins and Martin,
four more hours each.
727
00:37:07,593 --> 00:37:08,959
How about that?
728
00:37:08,961 --> 00:37:10,927
What, is something funny,
gentlemen?
729
00:37:10,929 --> 00:37:13,363
Let's make it five,
all right? Five hours each.
730
00:37:13,365 --> 00:37:15,699
I do love the fall.
731
00:37:15,701 --> 00:37:17,901
It gives us so much work to do,
doesn't it?
732
00:37:17,903 --> 00:37:20,637
Five hours. Jenkins.
733
00:37:20,639 --> 00:37:22,906
( door closes )
734
00:37:22,908 --> 00:37:24,741
( Electric Light Orchestra's "Showdown" playing )
735
00:37:29,581 --> 00:37:32,449
♪ She cried To the southern wind ♪
736
00:37:32,451 --> 00:37:35,318
♪ About a love That was sure to end ♪
737
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:37,988
Thanks very much,
gentlemen.
738
00:37:37,990 --> 00:37:40,590
Always nice
doing business with you.
739
00:37:40,592 --> 00:37:43,760
♪ Headin' for a showdown ♪
740
00:37:45,631 --> 00:37:47,931
Fire!
Fire in Funderburk's room!
741
00:37:47,933 --> 00:37:49,799
Someone call
the fire department!
742
00:37:49,801 --> 00:37:52,435
♪ Looks like we're ridin' On the same train ♪
743
00:37:54,673 --> 00:37:56,940
♪ Looks as though There'll be more pain ♪
744
00:37:56,942 --> 00:37:59,342
Ow! Ow! God!
745
00:37:59,344 --> 00:38:01,745
♪ There's gonna be a showdown ♪
746
00:38:03,782 --> 00:38:05,915
Fire! Fire!
( alarm ringing )
747
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:10,287
Look at my hand.
Explain how I burnt my hand.
748
00:38:10,289 --> 00:38:12,455
It was hot, Bill.
I'm telling you it was hot.
749
00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:15,458
Well, I--
What was I supposed to do?
750
00:38:19,431 --> 00:38:22,065
MAN ( on radio ):
Roger. That's a false alarm at Cornwall...
751
00:38:22,067 --> 00:38:25,435
This was not
a false alarm.
752
00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:28,505
♪ She came to me like a friend ♪
753
00:38:28,507 --> 00:38:33,310
♪ She blew in On a southern wind ♪
754
00:38:33,312 --> 00:38:36,313
♪ Now my heart is turned To stone again ♪
755
00:38:36,315 --> 00:38:38,948
♪ There's gonna be a showdown ♪
756
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:40,050
( alarm rings )
757
00:39:03,075 --> 00:39:04,774
IRV:
Good night.
758
00:39:09,614 --> 00:39:12,515
DUNPH:
You should call her, Irv.
759
00:39:12,517 --> 00:39:15,785
IRV:
What do you mean?
760
00:39:15,787 --> 00:39:18,788
DUNPH:
I mean you should go see
her over the holidays.
761
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:21,358
Maybe she's changed.
Maybe she's nice again.
762
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:23,893
She hasn't changed.
763
00:39:27,933 --> 00:39:30,533
There was this kid whose cousin
went to Cornwall.
764
00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,836
He told her.
765
00:39:32,838 --> 00:39:36,673
You know?
That they call me Jizz.
766
00:39:36,675 --> 00:39:39,509
So? Big whoop.
767
00:39:39,511 --> 00:39:42,512
A friend of mine from Pawtucket,
they call him Dingleberry.
768
00:39:42,514 --> 00:39:45,048
This guy gets more beaver
than the Hoover Dam.
769
00:39:48,620 --> 00:39:52,422
You know, when I first
came here, I did all right.
770
00:39:52,424 --> 00:39:55,992
I almost ran for class treasurer
my freshman year.
771
00:39:55,994 --> 00:39:59,963
Then they asked me
to join a secret club.
772
00:39:59,965 --> 00:40:03,566
Only five freshmen they asked,
and I was one of them.
773
00:40:03,568 --> 00:40:05,535
( thunder rumbles )
774
00:40:05,537 --> 00:40:08,705
BOY 1:
This year, you five are honored
to be the chosen ones.
775
00:40:08,707 --> 00:40:12,041
This brotherhood was formed
to protect one another,
776
00:40:12,043 --> 00:40:15,945
to aid each other
both academically and socially,
777
00:40:15,947 --> 00:40:21,718
to shield each other from
embarrassment and humiliation.
778
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:25,655
Are you willing to come with us
into the sacred fold?
779
00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:27,957
ALL:
Yes.
780
00:40:27,959 --> 00:40:30,894
Therefore,
to bind ourselves together,
781
00:40:30,896 --> 00:40:33,930
we must bear witness
to one another's humiliation.
782
00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:36,065
When I blow out
this candle,
783
00:40:36,067 --> 00:40:38,568
we'll all drop trou
784
00:40:38,570 --> 00:40:40,537
and commence to jack off
till each of us hath come.
785
00:40:40,539 --> 00:40:43,540
This should serve as the glue
that binds us together
786
00:40:43,542 --> 00:40:45,942
as right-hand men
from this day forward,
787
00:40:45,944 --> 00:40:51,748
November 13th
in the year of our Lord 1971.
788
00:40:53,018 --> 00:40:54,184
BOY 1:
We shall now begin.
789
00:40:58,824 --> 00:41:01,858
( rustling, zipper clicks )
790
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:03,927
( boys moaning )
791
00:41:06,698 --> 00:41:09,599
( boys laugh )
792
00:41:09,601 --> 00:41:11,835
( cheers and applause )
793
00:41:14,706 --> 00:41:16,206
( door slams )
794
00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:18,775
ALL ( chanting ):
Jizz! Jizz! Jizz! Jizz!
795
00:41:25,016 --> 00:41:27,984
DUNPH:
You got tricked.
Who gives a fuck?
796
00:41:27,986 --> 00:41:30,820
You flogged the dolphin, that
ain't a federal offense.
797
00:41:30,822 --> 00:41:33,156
Around here it is.
Bullshit!
798
00:41:34,893 --> 00:41:38,795
You know that 99 percent
of all teenage guys beat off?
799
00:41:38,797 --> 00:41:40,697
Really?
800
00:41:40,699 --> 00:41:42,832
Yeah, 99 percent.
And something like
801
00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:45,735
4 percent of most girls too.
802
00:41:45,737 --> 00:41:47,737
Everyone on this hall beats off.
803
00:41:47,739 --> 00:41:50,240
Like you mean,
even you, Dunph?
804
00:41:50,242 --> 00:41:53,276
Well, no, I don't.
805
00:41:53,278 --> 00:41:55,278
Not personally, I don't, but...
806
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:58,081
( sighs )
807
00:41:58,083 --> 00:42:01,584
I mean, if you read the
research, it's very common.
808
00:42:04,523 --> 00:42:07,023
( soft theme playing )
809
00:42:09,628 --> 00:42:11,661
DUNPH:
We didn't have a White Christmas that year,
810
00:42:11,663 --> 00:42:13,530
but it was good to be home anyway.
811
00:42:13,532 --> 00:42:15,665
Even my old man and his friends seemed to be in better spirits
812
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,567
around the holidays.
813
00:42:17,569 --> 00:42:19,168
Unless you're gonna pay
for him,
814
00:42:19,170 --> 00:42:20,837
shut the fuck up
and let him play his own cards.
815
00:42:20,839 --> 00:42:23,106
Just wake up,
will you, please?
816
00:42:23,108 --> 00:42:25,108
It's like playing with
fucking Gomer Pyle over here.
817
00:42:25,110 --> 00:42:27,043
He's queer, you know.
818
00:42:27,045 --> 00:42:28,811
Who's queer?
819
00:42:28,813 --> 00:42:31,114
The Gomer Pyle guy,
Jim Nabors.
820
00:42:31,116 --> 00:42:34,217
Him and that Rock Hudson,
they're queers together.
821
00:42:34,219 --> 00:42:36,619
Did you go to school
on the short bus?
822
00:42:36,621 --> 00:42:38,855
Rock Hudson is not queer.
823
00:42:38,857 --> 00:42:40,924
Is too,
him and that Nabors.
824
00:42:40,926 --> 00:42:42,992
He could be.
He's a good singer, that Nabors.
825
00:42:42,994 --> 00:42:44,561
( chuckles )
826
00:42:44,563 --> 00:42:46,963
Hey, hey, hey.
827
00:42:46,965 --> 00:42:50,166
What, you don't tell your
old man what's going on no more?
828
00:42:50,168 --> 00:42:52,101
What are you two
knuckleheads doing?
829
00:42:52,103 --> 00:42:53,703
Going out.
830
00:42:53,705 --> 00:42:55,204
And what are you
gonna do?
831
00:42:55,206 --> 00:42:56,272
Hang around.
832
00:42:56,274 --> 00:42:58,074
And when are you
coming back?
833
00:42:58,076 --> 00:42:59,609
Later.
834
00:42:59,611 --> 00:43:01,110
There.
Was that so hard?
835
00:43:03,114 --> 00:43:06,349
Heh. I like to give it to 'em.
Bastards.
836
00:43:06,351 --> 00:43:09,085
Isn't he dead,
that Gomer Pyle?
837
00:43:09,087 --> 00:43:10,653
I don't think so.
838
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:13,089
Are you sure?
Hoss Cartwright's dead.
839
00:43:13,091 --> 00:43:15,692
Will you shut
the fuck up?
840
00:43:15,694 --> 00:43:18,127
Hoss Cartwright's dead?
841
00:43:18,129 --> 00:43:22,932
♪ We get it on Most every night ♪
842
00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:26,235
♪ When that moon gets big And bright ♪
843
00:43:26,237 --> 00:43:30,106
So, Dunph, you getting any
up there?
844
00:43:30,108 --> 00:43:33,176
Well, there's this one girl.
She's pretty cool.
845
00:43:33,178 --> 00:43:34,944
How's her helmet?
846
00:43:34,946 --> 00:43:36,679
Incredible.
847
00:43:36,681 --> 00:43:38,181
Prettiest girl
in the school.
848
00:43:38,183 --> 00:43:39,215
Her toilet?
849
00:43:39,217 --> 00:43:40,883
Perfect.
850
00:43:40,885 --> 00:43:42,285
Big fun bags?
851
00:43:42,287 --> 00:43:44,320
Nah, but nice ones.
852
00:43:44,322 --> 00:43:45,888
Are you porking her?
853
00:43:45,890 --> 00:43:47,991
No.
854
00:43:47,993 --> 00:43:50,293
I don't even care
if I bang her.
855
00:43:50,295 --> 00:43:52,362
It don't matter.
856
00:43:52,364 --> 00:43:54,263
I like her.
857
00:43:54,265 --> 00:43:57,233
Come on, what do you mean
it don't matter?
858
00:43:57,235 --> 00:43:59,702
I mean...
No, I'm just saying,
859
00:43:59,704 --> 00:44:02,872
You can treat her
like a guy.
860
00:44:02,874 --> 00:44:06,909
What, you mean, she don't freak
out if you bust her balls?
861
00:44:06,911 --> 00:44:11,014
No, not at all.
She's a good chick.
862
00:44:11,016 --> 00:44:14,083
Huh. She sounds like
a cool mule.
863
00:44:14,085 --> 00:44:16,219
You know,
a real classy broad.
864
00:44:16,221 --> 00:44:17,887
Classy broad?
865
00:44:17,889 --> 00:44:19,288
You wouldn't know
a classy broad
866
00:44:19,290 --> 00:44:21,424
if she took a dump
on your head.
867
00:44:21,426 --> 00:44:23,660
( all laugh )
868
00:44:25,797 --> 00:44:27,930
Ah, I don't know.
869
00:44:27,932 --> 00:44:29,766
I mean, it just don't figure,
you know?
870
00:44:29,768 --> 00:44:31,768
Guy like Rock Hudson
871
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:33,436
he could have any broad
in the world he wanted.
872
00:44:33,438 --> 00:44:36,172
Well you know what that is?
It's a sickness.
873
00:44:36,174 --> 00:44:38,908
It's a mental disturbance
caused by his mother.
874
00:44:38,910 --> 00:44:41,344
It's a sin is what it is,
period.
875
00:44:41,346 --> 00:44:43,913
Who gives a shit?
So he's gay. Big deal.
876
00:44:43,915 --> 00:44:47,216
Big deal? What's that mean,
"big deal"?
877
00:44:47,218 --> 00:44:48,951
Why do you give a fuck anyway?
878
00:44:48,953 --> 00:44:51,154
Doesn't affect you.
879
00:44:51,156 --> 00:44:53,189
I mean, I could see
if Raquel Welch was lezzie.
880
00:44:53,191 --> 00:44:54,824
But what do you
give a shit about him?
881
00:44:54,826 --> 00:44:58,327
I just do.
Why, you don't?
882
00:44:58,329 --> 00:45:00,863
No, I don't.
883
00:45:04,069 --> 00:45:06,803
Hey, well,
if that don't bother you,
884
00:45:06,805 --> 00:45:08,204
maybe you're a femme too.
885
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:11,007
All right, already.
Somebody pick a card.
886
00:45:11,009 --> 00:45:13,476
Wait a second.
I gotta hear this now.
887
00:45:13,478 --> 00:45:15,912
I mean, we're laying our cards
on the thing here, right?
888
00:45:15,914 --> 00:45:20,383
Joey, do you or don't you
889
00:45:20,385 --> 00:45:22,785
take it in the jaw?
890
00:45:22,787 --> 00:45:24,420
( laughs )
891
00:45:24,422 --> 00:45:26,889
Shut the fuck up
for fuck's sake!
892
00:45:26,891 --> 00:45:28,491
What? Wait a second!
893
00:45:28,493 --> 00:45:31,227
Guy's never been married.
You ever seen him with a broad?
894
00:45:33,732 --> 00:45:37,100
What if I was?
Would that change something?
895
00:45:37,102 --> 00:45:39,235
You afraid I'd come on to you
all of a sudden,
896
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:41,270
start playing
grab-ass with you?
897
00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:45,241
Just answer the question, okay?
898
00:45:45,243 --> 00:45:48,745
Are you now,
or have you ever been,
899
00:45:48,747 --> 00:45:50,980
a gay?
900
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:03,793
Yeah. Okay, yeah.
901
00:46:05,997 --> 00:46:07,363
( Mr. Dunphy laughs )
902
00:46:07,365 --> 00:46:11,868
He's fucking busting our balls.
903
00:46:11,870 --> 00:46:15,104
He means he's gay like,
different.
904
00:46:15,106 --> 00:46:16,906
Right?
905
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:21,010
CAVWICH?
Is that it?
906
00:46:21,012 --> 00:46:23,446
I mean, "gay" is that
what you mean?
907
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,448
"Gay," like different?
908
00:46:25,450 --> 00:46:28,551
Or "gay" like:
909
00:46:40,465 --> 00:46:43,166
Oh, I can't help you out there
at all.
910
00:46:43,168 --> 00:46:44,233
You're on your own.
911
00:46:48,573 --> 00:46:51,307
Get the fuck out of here!
912
00:46:51,309 --> 00:46:52,975
( all shout )
913
00:46:56,147 --> 00:46:57,480
( door closes )
914
00:46:57,482 --> 00:46:59,816
Anyone else got
any confessions?
915
00:46:59,818 --> 00:47:02,318
( upbeat music playing )
916
00:47:11,496 --> 00:47:13,896
She moves pretty well
for a big woman.
917
00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,034
Not in the fucking house
with those things.
918
00:47:18,036 --> 00:47:19,435
How many times
do I got to tell you?
919
00:47:19,437 --> 00:47:21,037
( grunts )
920
00:47:21,039 --> 00:47:22,171
That's what you get.
921
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:24,207
Thanks for the album,
Pop.
922
00:47:24,209 --> 00:47:25,308
I've been wanting this.
923
00:47:25,310 --> 00:47:27,410
That there's
a double album,
924
00:47:27,412 --> 00:47:29,545
and it's from me
and Jackie too.
925
00:47:29,547 --> 00:47:32,882
Or Jackie and me,
whatever.
926
00:47:32,884 --> 00:47:34,483
You're the student.
Which is it?
927
00:47:37,121 --> 00:47:39,255
Either one,
928
00:47:39,257 --> 00:47:41,190
so long as you're referring
to an object.
929
00:47:44,863 --> 00:47:46,229
Thanks, Jackie.
930
00:47:46,231 --> 00:47:48,631
God, she dropped
the thing there.
931
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,533
You see that?
932
00:48:08,052 --> 00:48:11,387
DUNPH:
It was hard to think about my mother at Christmastime.
933
00:48:11,389 --> 00:48:15,291
But it was even harder not to think about her.
934
00:48:15,293 --> 00:48:18,394
( The Beach Boys' "Little Saint Nick" playing )
935
00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:21,964
♪ Well, way up north Where the air gets cold ♪
936
00:48:21,966 --> 00:48:23,566
♪ There's a tale about Christmas ♪
937
00:48:23,568 --> 00:48:25,501
That you've all been told ♪
938
00:48:25,503 --> 00:48:28,971
♪ And a real famous cat All dressed up in red ♪
939
00:48:28,973 --> 00:48:32,341
♪ And he spends the whole year Working out on his sled ♪
940
00:48:32,343 --> 00:48:34,543
♪ It's the little Saint Nick ♪
941
00:48:36,347 --> 00:48:38,547
♪ It's the little Saint Nick ♪
942
00:48:40,385 --> 00:48:43,552
♪ Just a little bobsled We call it old Saint Nick ♪
943
00:48:43,554 --> 00:48:47,423
♪ But she'll walk a toboggan With a four-speed stick ♪
944
00:48:47,425 --> 00:48:51,227
♪ She's candy-apple red With a ski for a wheel ♪
945
00:48:51,229 --> 00:48:54,563
♪ And when Santa gives her gas, Man, just watch her peel ♪
946
00:48:54,565 --> 00:48:56,432
♪ It's the little Saint Nick ♪
947
00:48:58,236 --> 00:49:00,102
♪ It's the little Saint Nick ♪
948
00:49:02,073 --> 00:49:05,207
Having fun, Dildo?
949
00:49:05,209 --> 00:49:07,944
Yeah. Ah.
I can't do this tie thing.
950
00:49:07,946 --> 00:49:10,079
I feel like a retard
at school
951
00:49:10,081 --> 00:49:12,515
wearing a clip-on. Everyone
else, they wear real ties.
952
00:49:12,517 --> 00:49:15,518
I look like a--
Look like a bozo.
953
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,454
Relax.
Just relax for a second.
954
00:49:18,456 --> 00:49:21,290
Here.
Let me see this here.
955
00:49:21,292 --> 00:49:23,426
Necktie.
956
00:49:23,428 --> 00:49:26,395
Got the wide side,
you got the skinny side.
957
00:49:26,397 --> 00:49:28,698
Wide, left.
Skinny, right.
958
00:49:28,700 --> 00:49:31,600
Now, count down
from the collar.
959
00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:35,304
One, two,
three, four.
960
00:49:35,306 --> 00:49:37,306
Skinny side,
you draw it down
961
00:49:37,308 --> 00:49:40,142
just below that fourth button,
all right?
962
00:49:40,144 --> 00:49:42,979
Now, take the wide side.
963
00:49:42,981 --> 00:49:46,148
You come over once,
then under.
964
00:49:46,150 --> 00:49:47,616
Come over twice.
965
00:49:49,620 --> 00:49:51,253
You paying
attention here?
966
00:49:51,255 --> 00:49:52,755
Yeah. Ahem.
967
00:49:52,756 --> 00:49:54,256
All right. You throw it over,
then you come through here.
968
00:49:54,258 --> 00:49:56,993
That hole, right?
969
00:49:56,995 --> 00:49:59,595
The worm comes
through the hole,
970
00:49:59,597 --> 00:50:02,298
then right down
into that little fold you made
971
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:04,000
right there like that.
You see that?
972
00:50:04,002 --> 00:50:06,335
You're always keeping it tight,
all right?
973
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,337
How old was she then?
974
00:50:12,643 --> 00:50:15,378
She was young.
I-- I don't remember.
975
00:50:15,380 --> 00:50:17,079
Now pay attention here.
976
00:50:17,081 --> 00:50:18,614
Yeah.
977
00:50:18,615 --> 00:50:20,148
Keeping it tight,
nice and tight.
978
00:50:20,151 --> 00:50:21,450
Now,
when you're done,
979
00:50:21,452 --> 00:50:23,452
if you've done
your job properly,
980
00:50:23,454 --> 00:50:25,621
you're gonna have this V
right here like that.
981
00:50:25,623 --> 00:50:28,357
They call that the vicious V.
The broads really love that.
982
00:50:28,359 --> 00:50:29,792
All right?
All right.
983
00:50:29,794 --> 00:50:32,728
There you are. It's easy.
You give it a shot.
984
00:50:32,730 --> 00:50:35,064
All right.
985
00:50:42,073 --> 00:50:44,640
( Free's "All Right Now" playing )
986
00:50:46,544 --> 00:50:48,411
Jizz!
987
00:50:48,413 --> 00:50:50,479
Would you relax, man?
988
00:50:50,481 --> 00:50:52,581
Worse than my 80-year-old grand
crack.
989
00:50:52,583 --> 00:50:54,683
You're gonna jinx us all.
990
00:50:54,685 --> 00:50:57,186
Wheeler.
991
00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:59,188
Don't call him Jizz.
992
00:51:03,361 --> 00:51:05,661
I gotta bolt.
You guys be cool.
993
00:51:07,598 --> 00:51:09,698
JANE:
I got you a Christmas present.
994
00:51:14,539 --> 00:51:18,641
Springsteen. Asbury Park.
995
00:51:18,643 --> 00:51:21,377
You know, my friend
saw him live in a bar once.
996
00:51:21,379 --> 00:51:23,312
Really?
Mm-hmm.
997
00:51:23,314 --> 00:51:25,748
And this is great.
Thanks a lot.
998
00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:27,149
Sure.
999
00:51:29,587 --> 00:51:31,587
( sighs )
Oh.
1000
00:51:35,293 --> 00:51:37,493
Here.
1001
00:51:44,635 --> 00:51:46,602
( laughs )
1002
00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:49,672
Dunph, it's beautiful.
1003
00:51:49,674 --> 00:51:51,340
Double roach clips.
1004
00:51:51,342 --> 00:51:52,708
Cool.
1005
00:51:52,710 --> 00:51:56,445
Yeah, I got it
at the dentist.
1006
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:02,852
♪ All right now ♪
1007
00:52:02,854 --> 00:52:05,888
♪ Baby, it's all right now ♪
1008
00:52:05,890 --> 00:52:07,840
DRUGS:
Greetings, Dunphy.
1009
00:52:07,841 --> 00:52:09,791
Did you know that if you stretched out your intestines,
1010
00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:10,860
they'd reach the moon?
1011
00:52:10,862 --> 00:52:12,761
It's a fact.
1012
00:52:12,763 --> 00:52:15,731
It's exactly 10,000 miles from your mouth to your asshole.
1013
00:52:15,733 --> 00:52:17,800
I guess that's why shit looks so bad, right?
1014
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:21,170
Only seven more months to California, don't forget.
1015
00:52:21,172 --> 00:52:23,339
Oh, yeah, don't worry about Jackie
1016
00:52:23,341 --> 00:52:25,441
and the paper route, all right, because everything's good.
1017
00:52:25,443 --> 00:52:27,710
Oh, shit! Whoa!
1018
00:52:27,712 --> 00:52:29,645
Aah, Jesus!
1019
00:52:31,482 --> 00:52:32,748
Whoa!
1020
00:52:32,750 --> 00:52:35,584
( crash )
1021
00:52:35,586 --> 00:52:37,319
( laughing )
1022
00:52:37,321 --> 00:52:38,387
You all right, Jack?
1023
00:52:38,389 --> 00:52:39,889
JACKIE:
Yeah, I'm all right.
1024
00:52:39,891 --> 00:52:41,590
Oh, shit.
1025
00:52:41,592 --> 00:52:44,627
♪ All right now ♪
1026
00:52:44,629 --> 00:52:47,630
♪ Baby, it's all right now ♪
1027
00:52:49,800 --> 00:52:51,367
What's up?
1028
00:52:51,369 --> 00:52:53,602
Your room got raided.
Fundy got them all.
1029
00:52:53,604 --> 00:52:56,172
Wheeler, Irving, Billy Fu,
all of them.
1030
00:52:56,174 --> 00:52:58,307
Oh, shit!
1031
00:52:58,309 --> 00:53:00,576
DUNPH:
Hey, Irv,
Brackett told me what happened.
1032
00:53:00,578 --> 00:53:02,878
I can't believe it.
How'd you make out?
1033
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:06,248
Not bad.
Twelve hours plus probation.
1034
00:53:06,250 --> 00:53:10,386
My parents are probably getting
a divorce over it.
1035
00:53:10,388 --> 00:53:12,321
Could've been worse.
1036
00:53:12,323 --> 00:53:14,523
What about the other guys?
1037
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,192
Same.
1038
00:53:16,194 --> 00:53:17,459
( whistle blows )
1039
00:53:17,461 --> 00:53:20,329
MAN:
Hey, Dunphy, let's go!
1040
00:53:20,331 --> 00:53:22,965
This sucks, Irv.
Really sucks.
1041
00:53:31,776 --> 00:53:33,642
What are you doing?
1042
00:53:33,644 --> 00:53:35,678
Studying.
1043
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:38,681
In case you hadn't noticed,
Funderburk is on the war path.
1044
00:53:38,683 --> 00:53:40,516
Besides,
you have a test tomorrow.
1045
00:53:40,518 --> 00:53:41,884
So?
1046
00:53:41,886 --> 00:53:44,453
So you need to study.
So put that away.
1047
00:53:44,455 --> 00:53:46,589
No, this will help us
concentrate.
1048
00:53:46,591 --> 00:53:48,958
No, I'm serious.
1049
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:53,295
I always do better at the
studying thing when I'm stoned.
1050
00:53:53,297 --> 00:53:55,464
It does something
to the brain cells, really.
1051
00:53:55,466 --> 00:53:57,766
I'm-- I'm not joking around
here. It like, it makes--
1052
00:53:57,768 --> 00:54:01,637
Dunph, you haven't had better
than a D since you've been here.
1053
00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:03,439
And that's because
there's no good weed around.
1054
00:54:03,441 --> 00:54:06,342
It's terrible.
1055
00:54:06,344 --> 00:54:07,676
I don't understand you.
1056
00:54:07,678 --> 00:54:10,312
You're already
into this Brown University.
1057
00:54:10,314 --> 00:54:13,449
Why don't you just try and relax
and enjoy yourself?
1058
00:54:13,451 --> 00:54:15,718
Because it's not
about getting in.
1059
00:54:15,720 --> 00:54:17,820
It's about doing well.
1060
00:54:17,822 --> 00:54:20,289
You know, I busted my butt
for four years
1061
00:54:20,291 --> 00:54:21,657
to get into that place.
1062
00:54:21,659 --> 00:54:23,926
And it's not just so I could
say, "I go to Brown."
1063
00:54:23,928 --> 00:54:25,761
It's because I want to learn.
1064
00:54:25,763 --> 00:54:28,464
I want--
I want to challenge myself.
1065
00:54:28,466 --> 00:54:30,833
I like that.
1066
00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:36,772
All right.
1067
00:54:36,774 --> 00:54:39,675
All right, you win, but if we're
gonna do all this studying,
1068
00:54:39,677 --> 00:54:42,845
we got to have, like,
one final, like, thing,
1069
00:54:42,847 --> 00:54:44,647
like, big blowout.
1070
00:54:44,649 --> 00:54:47,283
And it's got to be
in Pawtucket.
1071
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:49,518
( Steppenwolf's
"Magic Carpet Ride" plays )
1072
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,855
♪ I like to dream ♪
1073
00:54:52,857 --> 00:54:55,924
♪ Yes, yes, right between My sound machine ♪
1074
00:55:10,841 --> 00:55:13,442
( coughing )
1075
00:55:13,444 --> 00:55:15,010
This stuff's kind of harsh,
right?
1076
00:55:15,012 --> 00:55:17,346
I'm all right.
1077
00:55:17,348 --> 00:55:19,915
Here. Take one of these.
1078
00:55:19,917 --> 00:55:21,650
What is it?
1079
00:55:21,652 --> 00:55:23,052
Vitamin Q.
1080
00:55:23,054 --> 00:55:24,987
Relaxes your throat.
1081
00:55:24,989 --> 00:55:26,989
♪ Close your eyes, girl ♪
1082
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:30,059
♪ Look inside, girl ♪
1083
00:55:30,061 --> 00:55:31,627
( music continues in distance )
1084
00:55:33,898 --> 00:55:36,699
So, how come you never talk
about your mother?
1085
00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:41,770
I don't know.
1086
00:55:41,772 --> 00:55:44,006
I guess
'cause she's dead.
1087
00:55:44,008 --> 00:55:45,841
Oh! Dunph--
1088
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:48,043
( scoffs )
Don't worry about it.
1089
00:55:48,045 --> 00:55:49,912
I was little.
1090
00:55:49,914 --> 00:55:53,082
You know, Jackie doesn't even
remember her.
1091
00:55:53,084 --> 00:55:55,084
But you do?
1092
00:55:55,086 --> 00:55:58,620
Well, you know,
bits and pieces.
1093
00:56:00,758 --> 00:56:02,658
You know,
I remember the day she died,
1094
00:56:02,660 --> 00:56:05,861
she cooked this big
turkey dinner,
1095
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,430
you know, with stuffing
and mashed potatoes
1096
00:56:08,432 --> 00:56:10,933
and cranberry sauce.
1097
00:56:10,935 --> 00:56:13,369
( chuckles )
1098
00:56:13,371 --> 00:56:15,738
You know,
it wasn't even Thanksgiving.
1099
00:56:17,575 --> 00:56:19,441
Was she sick?
1100
00:56:19,443 --> 00:56:21,377
Yeah.
1101
00:56:21,379 --> 00:56:23,946
You know, just sick of...
1102
00:56:23,948 --> 00:56:29,718
of everything.
1103
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,788
♪ I miss Alabama once again, And I think it's a sin, yes ♪
1104
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:36,125
I don't get it.
It don't make sense.
1105
00:56:36,127 --> 00:56:39,161
See, there's this guy,
1106
00:56:39,163 --> 00:56:41,730
and he's looking back
on his life.
1107
00:56:41,732 --> 00:56:43,882
Right.
1108
00:56:43,883 --> 00:56:46,033
And he sees these two sets
of footprints in the sand.
1109
00:56:46,036 --> 00:56:49,438
Sort of like he had been walking
all along with God.
1110
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,906
But then the guy looks,
1111
00:56:50,908 --> 00:56:54,009
and he notices
that during the tough times,
1112
00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:56,078
there's only one set
of prints.
1113
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,046
So, the guy says to God,
1114
00:56:58,048 --> 00:57:01,183
"why did you desert me
when I needed you most?"
1115
00:57:01,185 --> 00:57:03,919
and God says,
"no, dummy,
1116
00:57:03,921 --> 00:57:05,954
"when you saw
only one set of prints,
1117
00:57:05,956 --> 00:57:08,690
that was
when I was carrying you."
1118
00:57:10,528 --> 00:57:14,596
Ohh, fucking God, man.
1119
00:57:14,598 --> 00:57:16,498
He's all right,
you know?
1120
00:57:16,500 --> 00:57:18,500
( chuckles )
1121
00:57:18,502 --> 00:57:19,968
( music plays in distance )
1122
00:57:22,506 --> 00:57:24,473
( guitar solo )
1123
00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:29,077
Irving, move.
1124
00:57:29,079 --> 00:57:31,680
I got next game.
1125
00:57:31,682 --> 00:57:33,482
Okay, fine,
you got next game.
1126
00:57:33,484 --> 00:57:37,186
No, I called next game
the last game.
1127
00:57:37,188 --> 00:57:38,720
It's my turn.
1128
00:57:38,722 --> 00:57:41,924
Kid, just move,
you're shit-faced.
1129
00:57:41,926 --> 00:57:45,928
( chuckles )
I'm shit-faced?!
1130
00:57:45,930 --> 00:57:48,897
Hey, pud, you better move
your ass fast
1131
00:57:48,899 --> 00:57:51,166
'cause I'm about to throw
this fuckin' dart.
1132
00:57:51,168 --> 00:57:54,169
Ohh, is that right?
1133
00:57:54,171 --> 00:57:57,706
You're gonna throw
the fuckin' dart!
1134
00:58:01,212 --> 00:58:04,179
Dunph?
Dunph, take it out.
1135
00:58:04,181 --> 00:58:06,715
Take it out!
Take it out!
1136
00:58:06,717 --> 00:58:08,116
What the hell happened?
1137
00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:09,818
I had next game.
1138
00:58:19,129 --> 00:58:22,064
So you got any girlfriends,
Jackie?
1139
00:58:22,066 --> 00:58:25,200
Oh, yeah. I'm going out with
a couple of Playboy bunnies.
1140
00:58:25,202 --> 00:58:28,170
You're a good-looking guy. Why
couldn't you have a girlfriend?
1141
00:58:28,172 --> 00:58:29,771
I don't know.
1142
00:58:29,773 --> 00:58:31,840
I guess I could.
1143
00:58:31,842 --> 00:58:34,576
But I'm just sort of playing
the field right now.
1144
00:58:36,013 --> 00:58:37,779
Ew.
1145
00:58:37,781 --> 00:58:39,915
Irv, what the fuck?
1146
00:58:39,917 --> 00:58:41,683
Funkadelic.
1147
00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:42,918
( groans )
1148
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:44,920
You just yorked on me.
1149
00:58:44,922 --> 00:58:48,056
He did?
1150
00:58:48,058 --> 00:58:50,559
Your friends from Pawtucket
seemed really nice.
1151
00:58:50,561 --> 00:58:52,895
Yeah.
Yeah, they're good guys.
1152
00:58:52,897 --> 00:58:55,163
Now, remember, Dunph,
we had a deal.
1153
00:58:55,165 --> 00:58:56,999
You have to hold up your end
of the bargain.
1154
00:58:57,001 --> 00:58:58,734
I know. I know.
1155
00:58:58,736 --> 00:59:00,736
♪ Down around the corner ♪
1156
00:59:00,738 --> 00:59:02,771
♪ Half a mile from here ♪
1157
00:59:02,773 --> 00:59:04,840
♪ See them long trains run ♪
1158
00:59:04,842 --> 00:59:06,241
♪ And you watch 'em disappear ♪
1159
00:59:06,243 --> 00:59:08,277
♪ Without love ♪
1160
00:59:09,947 --> 00:59:11,780
♪ Where would you be now? ♪
1161
00:59:15,152 --> 00:59:18,954
♪ Without lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve? ♪
1162
00:59:22,993 --> 00:59:25,327
♪ You know I saw Miss Lucy ♪
1163
00:59:25,329 --> 00:59:27,563
♪ Down along the tracks ♪
1164
00:59:27,565 --> 00:59:30,566
Yeah, I could hardly believe it
myself, Mr. Dunphy.
1165
00:59:30,568 --> 00:59:34,069
Looks like somebody's gonna have
a good spring break.
1166
00:59:34,071 --> 00:59:37,573
♪ Where would you be Right now ♪
1167
00:59:39,577 --> 00:59:44,313
♪ Without lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve? ♪
1168
00:59:45,783 --> 00:59:47,783
( laughter )
1169
00:59:51,121 --> 00:59:52,921
( shrieking )
1170
00:59:55,593 --> 00:59:58,827
♪ Without love ♪
1171
00:59:58,829 --> 01:00:01,263
♪ Where would you be now? ♪
1172
01:00:03,801 --> 01:00:08,704
♪ Without lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve? ♪
1173
01:00:19,149 --> 01:00:20,215
( shrieking )
1174
01:00:20,217 --> 01:00:24,286
Don't! Dunphy!
1175
01:00:24,288 --> 01:00:26,054
Aah!
1176
01:00:28,192 --> 01:00:29,992
( sea gull cries )
1177
01:00:35,966 --> 01:00:38,967
♪ Without lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ve ♪
1178
01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,370
( both laugh )
1179
01:00:41,372 --> 01:00:44,039
DUNPH:
After six glorious days in the sun,
1180
01:00:44,041 --> 01:00:45,907
we ran out of Jane's money.
1181
01:00:45,909 --> 01:00:48,143
So, I dropped her off in Virginia
1182
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:50,045
and thumbed it back to Pawtucket.
1183
01:00:50,047 --> 01:00:51,747
I couldn't wait to tell the guys.
1184
01:00:55,319 --> 01:00:59,021
Well, if it ain't
beach-blanket bingo.
1185
01:00:59,023 --> 01:01:01,890
What are you doin' here?
1186
01:01:01,892 --> 01:01:04,326
I ran into that knucklehead,
Tommy the Wire.
1187
01:01:04,328 --> 01:01:07,663
He told me you were gonna
be here. You're late.
1188
01:01:07,665 --> 01:01:10,999
Shorty,
two more of these.
1189
01:01:11,001 --> 01:01:13,869
( billiard balls clack )
1190
01:01:27,117 --> 01:01:29,451
So, what's the story?
1191
01:01:29,453 --> 01:01:31,219
I went to Florida.
1192
01:01:31,221 --> 01:01:34,990
I know you went to Florida.
Everyone wants to go to Florida.
1193
01:01:34,992 --> 01:01:36,291
You should've told me.
1194
01:01:36,293 --> 01:01:37,926
I didn't think
you'd let me go.
1195
01:01:37,928 --> 01:01:41,797
Fuckin' A right,
I wouldn't have let you go.
1196
01:01:41,799 --> 01:01:43,799
( grunts )
1197
01:01:48,138 --> 01:01:49,371
Is this your first martini?
1198
01:01:49,373 --> 01:01:52,174
Yeah...today.
1199
01:01:52,176 --> 01:01:54,276
( chuckles )
1200
01:01:56,947 --> 01:01:58,780
All right.
1201
01:01:58,782 --> 01:02:03,018
I'm gonna put the cards
on the table.
1202
01:02:03,020 --> 01:02:06,154
You always come first
with me.
1203
01:02:06,156 --> 01:02:09,491
Anything I ever done was for you
and your brother.
1204
01:02:09,493 --> 01:02:11,026
You remember that.
1205
01:02:15,833 --> 01:02:18,133
All right.
1206
01:02:18,135 --> 01:02:20,001
We're puttin' our cards
on the table here...
1207
01:02:20,003 --> 01:02:22,370
how come you never told me
about Mom?
1208
01:02:22,372 --> 01:02:24,272
You always think
I'm out to screw you.
1209
01:02:24,274 --> 01:02:25,974
No, Pop.
1210
01:02:25,976 --> 01:02:27,476
I never said that.
1211
01:02:27,478 --> 01:02:29,311
Yeah, but you think it.
1212
01:02:29,313 --> 01:02:31,079
And you think it's my fault
1213
01:02:31,081 --> 01:02:33,148
your blessed mother
shot herself.
1214
01:02:33,150 --> 01:02:36,451
God knows I tried
to help her.
1215
01:02:36,453 --> 01:02:39,254
She was a young girl
when we got married,
1216
01:02:39,256 --> 01:02:42,257
not much older
than you are now.
1217
01:02:42,259 --> 01:02:44,092
What are you, 18, 19?
1218
01:02:44,094 --> 01:02:45,894
Seventeen.
1219
01:02:47,131 --> 01:02:49,765
Seventeen.
1220
01:02:49,767 --> 01:02:52,501
That's a great age to be.
1221
01:02:55,038 --> 01:02:56,972
You never seen
such a beauty.
1222
01:02:56,974 --> 01:02:58,840
Not like these broads
you guys run with now
1223
01:02:58,842 --> 01:03:00,509
with all the shit
on their face.
1224
01:03:03,046 --> 01:03:04,446
Your mother.
1225
01:03:04,448 --> 01:03:06,248
Oh, boy.
1226
01:03:08,318 --> 01:03:11,186
All the time
she got depressed, though,
1227
01:03:11,188 --> 01:03:13,321
no matter how happy
she really was.
1228
01:03:13,323 --> 01:03:17,225
Then you come along,
1229
01:03:17,227 --> 01:03:19,828
this wriggly, little thing
I couldn't even recognize.
1230
01:03:26,370 --> 01:03:30,105
I bawled my eyes out
the night you were born.
1231
01:03:30,107 --> 01:03:32,474
Thought everything
would be good.
1232
01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:36,278
You want another one?
1233
01:03:36,280 --> 01:03:37,579
I'll have a beer.
1234
01:03:37,581 --> 01:03:41,483
Shorty, one more for me
and a beer for Dildo.
1235
01:03:41,485 --> 01:03:43,285
Do me a favor.
1236
01:03:43,287 --> 01:03:45,420
Don't call me Dildo in public.
1237
01:03:46,523 --> 01:03:49,825
It's a joke.
1238
01:03:49,827 --> 01:03:53,261
What's the matter? You think
I don't love you no more?
1239
01:03:53,263 --> 01:03:54,429
Come over here
and give me a hug.
1240
01:03:54,431 --> 01:03:55,597
Pop...
1241
01:03:58,268 --> 01:03:59,935
What, you're afraid
to hug your old man?
1242
01:03:59,937 --> 01:04:02,137
No, it's bullshit.
What?
1243
01:04:02,139 --> 01:04:03,605
I said it's bullshit!
1244
01:04:03,607 --> 01:04:05,407
You watch
your fuckin' mouth.
1245
01:04:05,409 --> 01:04:07,209
Then stop lyin' to me.
1246
01:04:07,211 --> 01:04:09,411
I know you were divorcing Mom
when she shot herself.
1247
01:04:09,413 --> 01:04:11,079
You don't know nothin'!
1248
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,020
( siren wails in distance )
1249
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:20,355
Hey...
1250
01:04:20,357 --> 01:04:22,591
hey!
1251
01:04:28,232 --> 01:04:29,965
Your mother loved you
and Jackie.
1252
01:04:29,967 --> 01:04:31,433
That's all you got to know.
1253
01:04:34,438 --> 01:04:36,938
( voice breaking )
Life isn't
a fuckin' fairy tale, buddy,
1254
01:04:36,940 --> 01:04:39,074
I got news for you.
1255
01:04:39,076 --> 01:04:42,944
It isn't easy being Ozzie
when you ain't got a Harriet.
1256
01:04:42,946 --> 01:04:45,313
And I loved your mother.
1257
01:04:45,315 --> 01:04:48,049
But I couldn't live with her
after a while.
1258
01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:50,518
She made me nuts, okay?
Is that what you want to hear?
1259
01:04:53,924 --> 01:04:57,626
It was stupid to get married.
We weren't made for each other.
1260
01:04:57,628 --> 01:05:00,262
But I loved her
at first sight.
1261
01:05:00,264 --> 01:05:03,164
And I was an idiot
about it.
1262
01:05:03,166 --> 01:05:08,203
I wanted her to be something
that she couldn't be.
1263
01:05:08,205 --> 01:05:09,971
The woman--
1264
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,376
The woman was mentally ill.
1265
01:05:14,378 --> 01:05:17,979
She was afraid of life.
1266
01:05:17,981 --> 01:05:19,614
She wouldn't even
leave the house.
1267
01:05:19,616 --> 01:05:23,251
For God's sake, she never even
learned how to drive a car.
1268
01:05:23,253 --> 01:05:25,420
It made me crazy.
1269
01:05:25,422 --> 01:05:28,490
Almost seven years
together,
1270
01:05:28,492 --> 01:05:31,927
you know how many times
we went out?
1271
01:05:31,929 --> 01:05:35,163
Once, one time. That's it.
1272
01:05:43,373 --> 01:05:44,706
And I guess
you'll never forgive me
1273
01:05:44,708 --> 01:05:46,608
till it happens
to you, huh?
1274
01:05:50,514 --> 01:05:52,213
Timothy...
1275
01:05:56,086 --> 01:05:58,620
well, I hope
you never forgive me.
1276
01:06:02,693 --> 01:06:05,427
( engine turns over )
1277
01:06:07,731 --> 01:06:10,365
( sighs )
1278
01:06:13,070 --> 01:06:14,669
( crickets chirping )
1279
01:06:40,397 --> 01:06:42,397
( birds singing )
1280
01:07:19,736 --> 01:07:23,071
You gonna eat
that whole thing?
1281
01:07:23,073 --> 01:07:25,240
I'm just pickin'.
1282
01:07:27,144 --> 01:07:29,411
You know that was full
this morning.
1283
01:07:29,413 --> 01:07:32,247
Good stuff.
1284
01:07:32,249 --> 01:07:35,250
Supposed to have all-natural
preservatives or some shit.
1285
01:07:35,252 --> 01:07:36,618
Hmm?
1286
01:07:36,620 --> 01:07:39,521
You should try
this other kind they got.
1287
01:07:39,523 --> 01:07:41,556
Heavenly Hash.
Ho ho, marron.
1288
01:07:41,558 --> 01:07:44,526
You can't even find it.
1289
01:07:44,527 --> 01:07:47,495
I got to bribe the kid down
at Norm's to hide some for me.
1290
01:07:47,497 --> 01:07:49,297
I'm, uh...
1291
01:07:51,168 --> 01:07:54,169
I'm taking off, Pop.
1292
01:07:54,171 --> 01:07:57,539
That little girl
you're running with?
1293
01:07:57,541 --> 01:07:59,541
Yeah, what about her?
1294
01:08:01,278 --> 01:08:02,677
You putting the wood to her?
1295
01:08:02,679 --> 01:08:03,845
What?
1296
01:08:03,847 --> 01:08:06,514
You think
I don't know what goes on?
1297
01:08:06,516 --> 01:08:08,416
Let me tell you something.
1298
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:10,685
It's just as much
the guy's responsibility
1299
01:08:10,687 --> 01:08:12,420
as it is the girl's.
1300
01:08:12,422 --> 01:08:14,422
Don't go getting your little
friend there in trouble.
1301
01:08:14,424 --> 01:08:17,592
I know.
1302
01:08:17,594 --> 01:08:20,228
One more thing.
1303
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:25,600
Makin' sex is
like chinese dinner.
1304
01:08:25,602 --> 01:08:29,671
it ain't over until you both
get your cookies, so...
1305
01:08:29,673 --> 01:08:32,273
remember I said that.
1306
01:08:32,275 --> 01:08:34,642
All right.
1307
01:08:37,114 --> 01:08:38,680
How 'bout a ride, huh?
1308
01:08:55,465 --> 01:08:57,499
Take care, Pop.
1309
01:08:59,836 --> 01:09:02,670
Yeah. Be good.
1310
01:09:04,741 --> 01:09:06,141
Bottoms up, Tonto.
1311
01:09:06,143 --> 01:09:07,509
There you go.
1312
01:09:07,511 --> 01:09:09,310
There's the six and the two.
1313
01:09:09,312 --> 01:09:11,279
If they don't land on the same
side of the board,
1314
01:09:11,281 --> 01:09:13,014
you roll again.
1315
01:09:13,015 --> 01:09:14,748
Oh, no. You move six
and then you move two.
1316
01:09:14,751 --> 01:09:16,584
That is the rule.
It's bullshit.
1317
01:09:16,586 --> 01:09:19,287
Shh, Jesus Christ, they're gonna
hear up at the girls' school.
1318
01:09:19,289 --> 01:09:20,722
Jizz, shut up.
1319
01:09:20,724 --> 01:09:22,924
Don't call me that.
1320
01:09:22,926 --> 01:09:24,592
What, Jizz?
1321
01:09:24,594 --> 01:09:28,196
It's your fucking name.
1322
01:09:28,198 --> 01:09:30,665
Hey, come on, come on.
Roll again.
1323
01:09:35,372 --> 01:09:36,771
What's my name?
1324
01:09:38,775 --> 01:09:40,708
It's Irving...
1325
01:09:42,345 --> 01:09:44,579
Jizz.
1326
01:09:44,581 --> 01:09:46,247
Are you fucking crazy?
1327
01:09:46,249 --> 01:09:48,716
( all laughing )
1328
01:09:48,718 --> 01:09:50,351
All right, Irv.
1329
01:09:50,353 --> 01:09:51,920
Fuck you too, Wheeler.
1330
01:09:51,921 --> 01:09:53,488
All right, all right, all right.
All right, fellas.
1331
01:09:53,490 --> 01:09:55,723
I'm gonna make a phone call.
1332
01:09:55,725 --> 01:09:58,259
You want some?
1333
01:09:58,261 --> 01:10:00,862
Come on, you crazy American,
you're making everything wet.
1334
01:10:00,864 --> 01:10:05,633
JANE:
Dunph! Dunph!
1335
01:10:05,635 --> 01:10:08,570
Hey! There you are!
1336
01:10:08,572 --> 01:10:09,771
Yeah,
where have you been?
1337
01:10:09,773 --> 01:10:11,673
I've been at the fort
for over an hour.
1338
01:10:24,955 --> 01:10:26,854
I'm sorry.
1339
01:10:26,856 --> 01:10:28,823
I got caught up
with these guys, you know?
1340
01:10:28,825 --> 01:10:29,857
( chuckles )
1341
01:10:29,859 --> 01:10:31,926
So, come on.
Let's go.
1342
01:10:31,928 --> 01:10:33,861
Why don't you
come up here?
1343
01:10:33,863 --> 01:10:36,998
Yeah, right.
Just get your butt down here.
1344
01:10:37,000 --> 01:10:39,234
Come on, Jane Weston.
1345
01:10:39,236 --> 01:10:42,237
We'll just have a drink,
and then get out of here.
1346
01:10:42,239 --> 01:10:43,605
( sighs )
1347
01:10:43,607 --> 01:10:46,007
( Irving laughs )
There you go.
1348
01:10:46,009 --> 01:10:48,309
♪ Doo doo doo ♪
1349
01:10:48,311 --> 01:10:50,645
♪ Doo doo doo-doo ♪
1350
01:10:50,647 --> 01:10:55,383
♪ Run, run, run ♪
1351
01:10:55,385 --> 01:10:56,851
♪ Doo doo doo-doo ♪
1352
01:10:56,853 --> 01:10:59,721
♪ Run, run, run ♪
1353
01:10:59,723 --> 01:11:01,956
♪ You better ride on, baby ♪
1354
01:11:01,958 --> 01:11:04,459
♪ You were born outside Of the-- ♪
1355
01:11:04,461 --> 01:11:06,427
( music stops )
1356
01:11:06,429 --> 01:11:09,297
I think you're in the wrong
building, young lady.
1357
01:11:09,299 --> 01:11:12,700
Out...now.
1358
01:11:17,474 --> 01:11:18,873
( chuckles )
1359
01:11:18,875 --> 01:11:21,509
It would appear we have
a major situation,
1360
01:11:21,511 --> 01:11:23,278
wouldn't you say, gentlemen?
1361
01:11:26,483 --> 01:11:28,283
Uh...
1362
01:11:28,285 --> 01:11:32,720
Billy, I was just comin' by to
see if you guys were studying.
1363
01:11:32,722 --> 01:11:34,889
Well, I would advise you
to study somewhere else,
1364
01:11:34,891 --> 01:11:36,691
Mr. Wheeler.
1365
01:11:36,693 --> 01:11:38,926
Yes, sir.
1366
01:11:43,800 --> 01:11:46,601
Well,
you've left me no choice.
1367
01:11:46,603 --> 01:11:49,404
If I don't turn you in,
I'd be doing you a disservice.
1368
01:11:49,406 --> 01:11:51,673
At some point later in life,
1369
01:11:51,675 --> 01:11:53,975
you'll be faced
with a similar situation.
1370
01:11:53,977 --> 01:11:57,512
And next time, hopefully,
you'll make the right decision.
1371
01:11:57,514 --> 01:11:59,781
See, there are
no second chances in life.
1372
01:11:59,783 --> 01:12:01,549
That's what you're learning
here today.
1373
01:12:01,551 --> 01:12:04,052
You control your own destiny.
1374
01:12:04,054 --> 01:12:05,653
You're the one
who made the bed.
1375
01:12:05,655 --> 01:12:06,954
You're the one
who's got to sleep in it.
1376
01:12:06,956 --> 01:12:08,756
You're the one
who made the boneheaded--
1377
01:12:08,758 --> 01:12:11,092
Oh, will you shut
the fuck up?
1378
01:12:14,431 --> 01:12:16,064
I beg your pardon?
1379
01:12:16,066 --> 01:12:18,800
You heard me.
1380
01:12:18,802 --> 01:12:20,968
Ah, you've done it now,
mister.
1381
01:12:20,970 --> 01:12:23,738
Well, you were already gonna
boot us.
1382
01:12:23,740 --> 01:12:25,840
What are you gonna do now?
Eat us?
1383
01:12:25,842 --> 01:12:28,776
Okay, Dunphy,
let's go.
1384
01:12:32,115 --> 01:12:34,582
Dunph, cool off, man.
1385
01:12:34,584 --> 01:12:37,485
Dunph...
Take it easy, Dunph.
1386
01:12:40,523 --> 01:12:45,059
Who do you think you are,
you insubordinate little twit?
1387
01:12:45,061 --> 01:12:47,862
Listen, Fundy,
save the stuff.
1388
01:12:47,864 --> 01:12:49,597
I know
you can't boot us.
1389
01:12:49,599 --> 01:12:53,434
Oh? Please.
Illuminate me.
1390
01:12:53,436 --> 01:12:54,736
I know about Billy Fu.
1391
01:12:54,738 --> 01:12:56,838
I know that his father
has committed $5 million
1392
01:12:56,840 --> 01:12:59,174
to this school,
1393
01:12:59,175 --> 01:13:01,509
all of which will be received
after Billy Fu graduates.
1394
01:13:01,511 --> 01:13:04,879
Now, you probably figure
you'll let him slide
1395
01:13:04,881 --> 01:13:07,115
and rat the rest
of us out.
1396
01:13:07,117 --> 01:13:09,817
But if you do that,
I'll rat him out.
1397
01:13:09,819 --> 01:13:12,887
I won't be blackmailed,
Mr. Dunphy.
1398
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:14,522
Fine.
1399
01:13:14,524 --> 01:13:16,758
Then we'll take a walk
down to Dean Mort's right now.
1400
01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:19,160
You tell your side of the story,
I'll tell mine.
1401
01:13:19,162 --> 01:13:20,561
Fair enough.
1402
01:13:20,563 --> 01:13:23,398
I'll just show him
the grass.
1403
01:13:23,400 --> 01:13:26,634
Then he can
call the cops.
1404
01:13:26,636 --> 01:13:29,003
It's not like you were
5 miles up in the woods.
1405
01:13:29,005 --> 01:13:31,873
You idiots were doing it
right here under my nose.
1406
01:13:31,875 --> 01:13:34,108
Now...
1407
01:13:34,110 --> 01:13:36,644
somebody's gonna
pay the price.
1408
01:13:38,548 --> 01:13:42,417
Okay, fine.
1409
01:13:42,419 --> 01:13:45,720
There's only one person you want
to screw here anyway, right?
1410
01:13:48,558 --> 01:13:51,159
The rest of 'em get hours.
1411
01:13:51,161 --> 01:13:53,795
Thank you.
1412
01:14:03,940 --> 01:14:07,175
Dunph...
1413
01:14:07,177 --> 01:14:10,044
I got nothin'.
1414
01:14:10,046 --> 01:14:12,547
That's--
That's what we got.
1415
01:14:12,549 --> 01:14:17,518
I mean, you know,
probation and a bunch of hours.
1416
01:14:17,520 --> 01:14:19,153
Oh, man, we all walk.
1417
01:14:19,155 --> 01:14:20,555
( sighs )
1418
01:14:20,557 --> 01:14:22,123
Oh, good Christ.
1419
01:14:26,596 --> 01:14:29,831
Jane, I'm-- I'm sorry.
1420
01:14:29,833 --> 01:14:31,532
I'm so sorry.
1421
01:14:31,534 --> 01:14:32,867
I'll go to the D.C.
1422
01:14:32,869 --> 01:14:34,735
I'll tell him the truth,
that you weren't even--
1423
01:14:34,737 --> 01:14:36,938
Dunph,
I was caught red-handed
1424
01:14:36,940 --> 01:14:40,074
in the boys' dormitory
with booze and pot.
1425
01:14:40,076 --> 01:14:41,008
It's over.
1426
01:14:42,912 --> 01:14:44,712
I feel so bad, you know.
1427
01:14:44,714 --> 01:14:47,248
They spent so much money,
and now I can't get in anywhere.
1428
01:14:47,250 --> 01:14:49,183
Forget Brown University.
1429
01:14:49,185 --> 01:14:52,086
Of course you will.
You got the grades.
1430
01:14:52,088 --> 01:14:55,656
Even if you got to start
at, like, a junior college.
1431
01:14:55,658 --> 01:14:58,125
( scoffs )
You don't get it, Dunph.
1432
01:15:00,630 --> 01:15:02,497
I'm sorry.
1433
01:15:02,499 --> 01:15:03,564
( Mr. Weston clears throat )
1434
01:15:03,566 --> 01:15:05,833
Jane...
1435
01:15:05,835 --> 01:15:07,535
I got to go.
1436
01:15:12,675 --> 01:15:16,744
It's not all your fault.
I didn't have to listen to you.
1437
01:15:16,746 --> 01:15:19,146
Goodbye.
1438
01:15:19,148 --> 01:15:22,083
Janie...
1439
01:15:37,267 --> 01:15:39,834
( engine turns over )
1440
01:15:39,836 --> 01:15:42,203
( vehicle departs )
1441
01:15:42,205 --> 01:15:46,541
♪ Ahhhhh ♪
1442
01:15:46,543 --> 01:15:50,144
♪ Ain't nothin' I can say ♪
1443
01:15:50,146 --> 01:15:52,813
♪ Nothin' I can do ♪
1444
01:15:54,617 --> 01:15:57,018
♪ I feel so bad ♪
1445
01:15:57,020 --> 01:15:59,020
♪ Yeah ♪
1446
01:15:59,022 --> 01:16:02,657
♪ I feel so blue ♪
1447
01:16:02,659 --> 01:16:04,625
♪ Hmm ♪
1448
01:16:04,627 --> 01:16:06,761
( laughs )
1449
01:16:06,763 --> 01:16:09,630
♪ I got to make it right ♪
1450
01:16:09,632 --> 01:16:12,233
♪ For everyone concerned ♪
1451
01:16:12,235 --> 01:16:15,002
( shrieks )
1452
01:16:15,004 --> 01:16:17,138
♪ Even if it's me ♪
1453
01:16:17,140 --> 01:16:21,709
♪ If it means it's me What's gettin' burned ♪
1454
01:16:21,711 --> 01:16:23,878
( sea gull cries )
1455
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:29,750
♪ 'Cause I could never Make you unhappy ♪
1456
01:16:31,754 --> 01:16:34,989
♪ No, I couldn't do that, Girl ♪
1457
01:16:34,991 --> 01:16:37,992
Mr. Dunphy?
1458
01:16:37,994 --> 01:16:39,293
Mr. Dunphy!
1459
01:16:39,295 --> 01:16:41,128
DUNPH:
Yeah?
1460
01:16:41,130 --> 01:16:42,830
Hey!
1461
01:16:44,834 --> 01:16:48,769
Last night,
there was a car accident,
1462
01:16:48,771 --> 01:16:53,674
and your-- Your friend
Drugs Delaney...
1463
01:16:53,676 --> 01:16:56,310
I'm very sorry.
1464
01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:02,149
Oh, man.
1465
01:17:02,151 --> 01:17:06,253
( Lynyrd Skynyrd's
"Free Bird" plays )
1466
01:17:06,255 --> 01:17:11,692
♪ If I leave here tomorrow ♪
1467
01:17:14,097 --> 01:17:18,899
♪ Would you still Remember me? ♪
1468
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:27,742
♪ For I must be traveling On now ♪
1469
01:17:30,713 --> 01:17:32,980
♪ 'Cause there's too many Places I've got to see ♪
1470
01:17:32,982 --> 01:17:36,817
I want to say something
about Drugs.
1471
01:17:37,987 --> 01:17:39,754
Drugs was a good shit.
1472
01:17:41,791 --> 01:17:44,859
Wire,
you got anything to say?
1473
01:17:44,861 --> 01:17:49,797
That fucking guy
could party, man.
1474
01:17:49,799 --> 01:17:53,834
When everybody took one,
he took two.
1475
01:17:53,836 --> 01:17:55,169
Nobody could take
that away from him.
1476
01:17:57,373 --> 01:17:58,973
Decenz,
you've got anything to say?
1477
01:17:58,975 --> 01:18:01,342
Nah.
1478
01:18:01,344 --> 01:18:03,110
Tommy said it all.
1479
01:18:03,112 --> 01:18:05,746
What the fuck?
1480
01:18:05,748 --> 01:18:08,849
♪ ...bird you cannot change ♪
1481
01:18:08,851 --> 01:18:12,019
♪ Oh, whoa, oh, whoa, whoa, oh ♪
1482
01:18:12,021 --> 01:18:16,290
♪ And the bird
You cannot change ♪
1483
01:18:16,292 --> 01:18:19,226
I wanted to be alone,
1484
01:18:19,228 --> 01:18:23,130
but being alone made me think about Drugsie--
1485
01:18:23,132 --> 01:18:25,332
Crazy bastard.
1486
01:18:25,334 --> 01:18:27,234
I wondered, if there was a heaven and hell,
1487
01:18:27,236 --> 01:18:28,436
which one he'd go to.
1488
01:18:28,438 --> 01:18:30,838
Eh, I hate to even say it,
1489
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,875
but I couldn't see drugsup there with all those saints.
1490
01:18:37,447 --> 01:18:40,715
Who knows? Maybe he'll get lucky.
1491
01:18:40,717 --> 01:18:45,052
Maybe after you die, there's just nothin'.
1492
01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:47,888
Huh.
1493
01:18:47,890 --> 01:18:49,757
Will you throw
your fucking card?
1494
01:18:49,759 --> 01:18:51,025
Oh, it's my turn again?
1495
01:18:51,027 --> 01:18:53,828
Yeah, it's a rotation thing,
Einstein. Come on.
1496
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:57,331
You're holding trump
again, you cockfucker.
1497
01:18:57,333 --> 01:18:59,734
So now it's my fault?
1498
01:19:01,037 --> 01:19:04,472
( laughter )
1499
01:19:15,985 --> 01:19:17,785
Before going back to Cornwall,
1500
01:19:17,787 --> 01:19:20,221
there was something I knew I had to take care of.
1501
01:19:20,223 --> 01:19:23,023
( telephone rings )
1502
01:19:23,025 --> 01:19:25,426
WOMAN:
Brown University.
Dean Rogers' office.
1503
01:19:25,428 --> 01:19:28,496
Could I ask you to hold just one
moment, please, sir? Thank you.
1504
01:19:28,498 --> 01:19:30,097
May I help you?
1505
01:19:30,099 --> 01:19:34,034
I need to speak
to Mr. Jonathan S. Rogers Jr.
1506
01:19:34,036 --> 01:19:35,936
Do you have
an appointment?
1507
01:19:35,938 --> 01:19:37,338
No, but...
1508
01:19:37,340 --> 01:19:40,007
you don't understand.
I really need to talk to him.
1509
01:19:40,009 --> 01:19:42,343
You really need
to have an appointment.
1510
01:19:42,345 --> 01:19:44,378
But I don't have one.
1511
01:19:44,380 --> 01:19:46,280
Would you like
to make one?
1512
01:19:46,282 --> 01:19:49,283
Please?
This is very important.
1513
01:19:49,285 --> 01:19:52,086
It could mean the difference
between this girl's whole life.
1514
01:19:52,088 --> 01:19:54,789
Dean Rogers' schedule
is entirely filled today.
1515
01:19:54,791 --> 01:19:56,924
You need an appointment
to see him.
1516
01:19:56,926 --> 01:19:58,859
I'm sorry.
1517
01:19:58,861 --> 01:20:01,328
Thank you
for holding, sir.
1518
01:20:01,330 --> 01:20:04,431
What day did you want
to come in?
1519
01:20:04,433 --> 01:20:06,934
The 18th should be fine.
1520
01:20:06,936 --> 01:20:08,536
( classical music plays )
1521
01:20:22,919 --> 01:20:24,285
I know I don't have
an appointment,
1522
01:20:24,287 --> 01:20:25,986
but you have
to give me a chance.
1523
01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:27,555
It's like life or death.
Jane Weston...
1524
01:20:27,557 --> 01:20:29,824
the whole thing,
it wasn't her fault.
1525
01:20:29,826 --> 01:20:32,193
I'm the one.
It's-- It's all me.
1526
01:20:32,195 --> 01:20:33,994
It's not fair.
You have to believe me.
1527
01:20:33,996 --> 01:20:36,564
I have absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.
1528
01:20:36,566 --> 01:20:39,500
Cornwall Academy.
Mr. Funderburk.
1529
01:20:39,502 --> 01:20:43,037
Please, sir,
just let me in,
1530
01:20:43,039 --> 01:20:44,371
and I'll--
I'll explain everything.
1531
01:20:44,373 --> 01:20:46,240
Please?
1532
01:20:46,242 --> 01:20:48,576
One minute.
Come on in.
1533
01:20:48,578 --> 01:20:50,377
( classical music continues )
1534
01:20:51,948 --> 01:20:53,380
It was all just
this big mistake, and...
1535
01:20:53,382 --> 01:20:54,448
Good Lord.
1536
01:20:54,450 --> 01:20:57,051
...and this Jane Weston,
1537
01:20:57,053 --> 01:20:59,086
she's, like, the smartest girl
in the whole school.
1538
01:20:59,088 --> 01:21:00,921
You can't--
1539
01:21:00,923 --> 01:21:02,890
( panting )
Sir, I know
you're busy and everything
1540
01:21:02,892 --> 01:21:05,159
'cause the lady
out there told me,
1541
01:21:05,161 --> 01:21:06,994
but I really
appreciate this.
1542
01:21:06,996 --> 01:21:09,496
Yes, I actually meant come in
through the door.
1543
01:21:11,200 --> 01:21:13,234
You'd better take a seat.
1544
01:21:16,272 --> 01:21:19,473
Yes, Mr. Dunphy,
Jane Weston was accepted,
1545
01:21:19,475 --> 01:21:21,609
but due to the facts
in Mr. Funderburk's letter,
1546
01:21:21,611 --> 01:21:23,911
we reversed our decision.
1547
01:21:23,913 --> 01:21:28,148
Those weren't the facts.
1548
01:21:28,150 --> 01:21:31,085
I know I'm probably not gonna
say this right,
1549
01:21:31,087 --> 01:21:33,988
but the whole college thing,
to me--
1550
01:21:33,990 --> 01:21:37,358
I mean, I'm probably not even
gonna go to college.
1551
01:21:37,360 --> 01:21:40,294
But this girl's whole life
is gonna be ruined.
1552
01:21:40,296 --> 01:21:42,463
Getting into
this Brown University thing,
1553
01:21:42,465 --> 01:21:44,131
it means, like,
everything to her.
1554
01:21:44,133 --> 01:21:47,635
I can see you're concerned about
this young lady's future.
1555
01:21:47,637 --> 01:21:49,503
That's very commendable.
1556
01:21:49,505 --> 01:21:51,639
But don't you think that people
should take responsibility
1557
01:21:51,641 --> 01:21:53,173
for their actions?
1558
01:21:53,175 --> 01:21:55,676
Yes, sir, they should.
And that's why I'm here.
1559
01:21:55,678 --> 01:21:58,379
They were my actions.
It was my fault.
1560
01:21:58,381 --> 01:22:01,282
Someone else is getting blamed
for something I did,
1561
01:22:01,284 --> 01:22:03,250
and it's just not right.
1562
01:22:03,252 --> 01:22:05,019
That's very noble,
Mr. Dunphy.
1563
01:22:05,021 --> 01:22:07,621
But chivalry's a tough sell
to the review board.
1564
01:22:07,623 --> 01:22:10,224
( sighs )
1565
01:22:10,226 --> 01:22:12,559
Dean Rogers...
1566
01:22:12,561 --> 01:22:15,095
is there one time
in your life
1567
01:22:15,097 --> 01:22:18,165
when you made a mistake and you
wish you could take it back,
1568
01:22:18,167 --> 01:22:21,201
'cause if you could,
it would change everything?
1569
01:22:21,203 --> 01:22:24,405
Has that ever happened
to you?
1570
01:22:27,109 --> 01:22:28,609
And if it has,
1571
01:22:28,611 --> 01:22:32,613
maybe you could get
the review board to review that.
1572
01:22:36,052 --> 01:22:37,651
( indistinct conversations )
1573
01:22:43,192 --> 01:22:45,092
This is it, boys.
It's almost over.
1574
01:22:45,094 --> 01:22:46,660
BOY:
Hey, Irving.
1575
01:22:54,603 --> 01:22:57,171
( cheering, whistling )
1576
01:22:57,173 --> 01:22:58,672
Mental floss.
1577
01:22:58,674 --> 01:23:00,674
BOY:
You need help, man.
1578
01:23:03,079 --> 01:23:07,047
So, Fu, you got into Princeton.
What a surprise.
1579
01:23:07,049 --> 01:23:09,083
Crane and Keller
got into Ithaca.
1580
01:23:09,085 --> 01:23:10,217
No way.
1581
01:23:10,219 --> 01:23:12,186
Did you heard about Wheeler?
1582
01:23:12,188 --> 01:23:13,253
He got into Yale.
1583
01:23:13,255 --> 01:23:15,723
Yale?
1584
01:23:15,725 --> 01:23:17,391
How the hell did
he get in there?
1585
01:23:17,393 --> 01:23:18,692
Same way anyone does.
1586
01:23:18,694 --> 01:23:20,995
Get a great recommendation
from Funderburk.
1587
01:23:20,997 --> 01:23:22,162
Fundy's a big Yalie.
1588
01:23:22,164 --> 01:23:24,064
He's got an in
with the admissions board.
1589
01:23:24,066 --> 01:23:26,266
What about Calvert?
Did he get in anywhere?
1590
01:23:26,268 --> 01:23:28,669
Florida.
University of Miami.
1591
01:23:28,671 --> 01:23:30,738
Ouch.
1592
01:23:32,241 --> 01:23:34,008
DUNPH:
I heard you got into Yale.
1593
01:23:35,745 --> 01:23:37,211
Yeah.
1594
01:23:37,213 --> 01:23:39,313
Yeah, it's pretty unbelievable,
huh?
1595
01:23:39,315 --> 01:23:42,082
Yeah, I guess.
1596
01:23:42,084 --> 01:23:44,251
Yeah.
1597
01:23:44,253 --> 01:23:47,588
Yeah.
1598
01:23:47,590 --> 01:23:50,257
Yeah.
1599
01:23:52,461 --> 01:23:54,661
Hey,
what the fuck are you doing?
1600
01:23:54,663 --> 01:23:57,698
What the fuck is that?
1601
01:23:57,700 --> 01:24:00,134
Lowlife piece of shit.
1602
01:24:00,136 --> 01:24:03,170
Whoa.
D-man...
1603
01:24:03,172 --> 01:24:05,272
w-where's this coming from?
1604
01:24:05,274 --> 01:24:07,207
You got Jane booted.
1605
01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:09,376
What are you
talking about?
1606
01:24:09,377 --> 01:24:11,544
You ratted us out so Fundy would
give you a recommendation.
1607
01:24:11,547 --> 01:24:14,415
That's bull. He gave a lot
of guys good recommendations.
1608
01:24:14,417 --> 01:24:16,316
He busted you
winter term.
1609
01:24:16,318 --> 01:24:19,053
In my room,
he busted you.
1610
01:24:19,055 --> 01:24:21,588
Why would he give you
a good one?
1611
01:24:21,590 --> 01:24:23,190
He gave it to me
before he busted me.
1612
01:24:23,192 --> 01:24:24,458
He would have
canceled it--
1613
01:24:24,460 --> 01:24:27,561
Called Yale and told them
what a stoner you were.
1614
01:24:29,065 --> 01:24:31,165
Maybe he forgot.
1615
01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:43,277
Don't, Dunph.
1616
01:24:43,279 --> 01:24:45,612
You little punk.
You fucked us all, man.
1617
01:24:45,614 --> 01:24:47,581
Fuck, man,
this is totally uncool.
1618
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:48,816
You don't have
any fucking proof.
1619
01:24:48,818 --> 01:24:50,584
Oh, proof?
( laughs )
1620
01:24:50,586 --> 01:24:52,486
Proof ain't gonna matter
1621
01:24:52,487 --> 01:24:54,387
when your head's cracked open
on the sidewalk down there.
1622
01:24:54,390 --> 01:24:55,622
Dunphy.
Dunphy, take it easy.
1623
01:24:55,624 --> 01:24:59,159
Take it easy, man.
Dunph.
1624
01:24:59,161 --> 01:25:01,862
Unh!
1625
01:25:01,864 --> 01:25:03,664
( breathing heavily )
1626
01:25:11,740 --> 01:25:15,209
What's the point?
1627
01:25:15,211 --> 01:25:17,744
Your life?
1628
01:25:17,746 --> 01:25:19,880
It's gonna suck anyway.
1629
01:25:24,820 --> 01:25:27,121
( Jane whistles )
1630
01:25:27,123 --> 01:25:29,289
( whistles )
1631
01:25:30,659 --> 01:25:32,693
Dunph!
1632
01:25:32,695 --> 01:25:35,629
( whistles )
1633
01:25:35,631 --> 01:25:37,197
Huh.
1634
01:25:37,199 --> 01:25:40,400
Hey.
Hey.
1635
01:25:40,402 --> 01:25:41,668
How'd you get here?
1636
01:25:41,670 --> 01:25:44,271
I took my parents' car.
1637
01:25:44,273 --> 01:25:45,506
They let you?
1638
01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,908
Come on down.
1639
01:25:47,910 --> 01:25:50,177
Don't move.
1640
01:26:01,157 --> 01:26:02,723
Hi.
1641
01:26:02,725 --> 01:26:04,791
Hi.
1642
01:26:08,564 --> 01:26:10,497
( exhales sharply )
1643
01:26:10,499 --> 01:26:14,201
J-Jane, I...
1644
01:26:14,203 --> 01:26:17,404
I-I'm so sorry
about everything.
1645
01:26:22,444 --> 01:26:24,411
You--
You got back in.
1646
01:26:35,457 --> 01:26:36,857
I brought you a present.
1647
01:26:36,859 --> 01:26:38,559
Hm?
1648
01:26:43,966 --> 01:26:45,732
No.
1649
01:26:48,571 --> 01:26:51,738
What? What's the matter?
1650
01:26:51,740 --> 01:26:53,307
Nothing.
1651
01:26:54,476 --> 01:26:56,543
It's just...
1652
01:26:56,545 --> 01:26:59,780
I want to remember this moment.
1653
01:27:01,483 --> 01:27:04,851
I-- I don't want it to be hazy
'cause of this.
1654
01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:08,755
I want to savor it.
1655
01:27:08,757 --> 01:27:12,259
You know, let it really sink in.
1656
01:27:12,261 --> 01:27:15,295
So it'll always be there.
1657
01:27:17,433 --> 01:27:18,899
Okay, I got it.
1658
01:27:18,901 --> 01:27:20,701
You can torch it now.
1659
01:27:25,341 --> 01:27:28,976
We stayed there all night and it was really beautiful.
1660
01:27:28,978 --> 01:27:32,646
We made plans to see each other over the summer.
1661
01:27:32,648 --> 01:27:36,583
Around dawn Jane nodded off, but I couldn't sleep.
1662
01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:40,721
I was afraid that if I did,I'd never feel that good again.
1663
01:27:51,033 --> 01:27:54,268
DEAN:
Paul Patrick Baker.
1664
01:27:56,505 --> 01:27:59,640
Patrick Michael Carey.
1665
01:28:01,710 --> 01:28:05,512
Christian Robert Catt.
1666
01:28:06,882 --> 01:28:11,285
Gavin Patrick Curren.
1667
01:28:11,287 --> 01:28:12,519
Congratulations.
1668
01:28:12,521 --> 01:28:15,622
Steven Edward Delaney.
1669
01:28:15,624 --> 01:28:16,957
Congratulations.
1670
01:28:16,959 --> 01:28:20,494
Timothy Michael Dunphy.
1671
01:28:31,674 --> 01:28:36,343
Rocky Wayne Fuller.
1672
01:28:36,345 --> 01:28:37,511
Jonathan Beecher Glad...
1673
01:28:37,513 --> 01:28:40,747
Hey, can you hand me
my luggage?
1674
01:28:43,319 --> 01:28:46,620
Peter Edward McNaught...
1675
01:28:48,390 --> 01:28:49,656
Bryan Stewart.
1676
01:28:51,527 --> 01:28:54,494
( "Pomp and Circumstance"
plays in distance )
1677
01:28:54,496 --> 01:28:55,562
( car horn honks )
1678
01:28:55,564 --> 01:28:56,963
Hey, Dunph.
1679
01:28:56,965 --> 01:28:58,598
( car horn honks )
1680
01:29:01,737 --> 01:29:03,704
DUNPH:
Hey.
1681
01:29:03,706 --> 01:29:06,006
What are you guys
doing here?
1682
01:29:06,008 --> 01:29:08,041
What the hell you think
we're doing here?
1683
01:29:08,043 --> 01:29:10,577
You're graduating
from high school, ain't ya?
1684
01:29:13,382 --> 01:29:16,383
Well, yeah, yeah, I guess.
I-it's just no big deal.
1685
01:29:16,385 --> 01:29:17,751
What "no big deal"?
1686
01:29:17,753 --> 01:29:18,952
I suppose
you're gonna tell me
1687
01:29:18,954 --> 01:29:21,788
that this is
no big deal, too, huh?
1688
01:29:23,092 --> 01:29:24,591
What's this?
1689
01:29:24,593 --> 01:29:26,660
You got in.
1690
01:29:26,662 --> 01:29:29,529
W-what do you mean?
1691
01:29:29,531 --> 01:29:31,932
( chuckles )
Don't play dumb with me.
1692
01:29:31,934 --> 01:29:34,868
Rhode Island Junior College.
You got accepted.
1693
01:29:34,870 --> 01:29:38,905
Oh, yeah, uh...
1694
01:29:38,907 --> 01:29:42,642
Well, actually...
there is no "accepted."
1695
01:29:42,644 --> 01:29:43,777
You just have to
sign up, Pop.
1696
01:29:47,116 --> 01:29:49,082
Well,
you filled out the forms.
1697
01:29:49,084 --> 01:29:51,385
You showed
a little initiation there.
1698
01:29:51,387 --> 01:29:56,523
You're gonna be the first Dunphy
to go to college.
1699
01:29:56,525 --> 01:29:57,758
I'm proud of you.
1700
01:30:00,929 --> 01:30:03,096
Shake my hand
like a man there.
1701
01:30:03,098 --> 01:30:05,465
What are you, a fucking
flounder? There you go.
1702
01:30:06,568 --> 01:30:09,569
Y-you know, Pop,
maybe...
1703
01:30:09,571 --> 01:30:10,937
if I do real good here,
1704
01:30:10,939 --> 01:30:12,639
I could get into, like,
a senior college.
1705
01:30:12,641 --> 01:30:14,508
What's that?
1706
01:30:14,510 --> 01:30:17,711
Well, you know, like--
Well, like a regular college,
1707
01:30:17,713 --> 01:30:19,579
where people sleep over
and shit.
1708
01:30:19,581 --> 01:30:21,014
Oh.
1709
01:30:21,016 --> 01:30:23,617
Dunph,
if you had done good here,
1710
01:30:23,619 --> 01:30:25,519
you could have gotten
into a regular college.
1711
01:30:25,521 --> 01:30:27,020
Shut up, you little hard-on.
1712
01:30:27,022 --> 01:30:28,989
You're just jealous
because you're not gonna be
1713
01:30:28,991 --> 01:30:30,690
the first Dunphy
to go to college.
1714
01:30:30,692 --> 01:30:33,627
No, but I can still be
the first to graduate.
1715
01:30:33,629 --> 01:30:35,562
( laughs )
1716
01:30:35,564 --> 01:30:36,897
You little ball buster.
1717
01:30:38,967 --> 01:30:41,001
All right, you two ass-bags,
let's get the hell out of here.
1718
01:30:41,003 --> 01:30:44,004
Shorty's got a pitcher
of beers waiting for us.
1719
01:30:44,006 --> 01:30:46,873
So, Dildo, what ever happened
to that girlfriend of yours?
1720
01:30:46,875 --> 01:30:48,975
She's going to Brown University
next year.
1721
01:30:48,977 --> 01:30:51,878
Brown? They got one of those
in Providence, you know.
1722
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:53,713
There's only one, Pop.
1723
01:30:53,715 --> 01:30:55,482
( laughing )
You hot shit.
1724
01:30:55,484 --> 01:30:57,551
How do you think she's gonna
like riding around Providence
1725
01:30:57,553 --> 01:30:58,985
in this shit box?
1726
01:30:58,987 --> 01:31:00,854
JACKIE:
She's gonna be Mrs. Dildo.
1727
01:31:00,856 --> 01:31:02,722
BOTH:
Shut up, you little hard-on.
1728
01:31:02,724 --> 01:31:05,725
( Badfinger's
"No Matter What" plays )
1729
01:31:09,131 --> 01:31:13,767
♪ No matter what you are ♪
1730
01:31:13,769 --> 01:31:17,571
♪ I will always be with you ♪
1731
01:31:17,573 --> 01:31:21,608
♪ Doesn't matter what you do, Girl ♪
1732
01:31:21,610 --> 01:31:25,846
♪ Ooh, girl, with you ♪
1733
01:31:25,848 --> 01:31:30,016
♪ No matter what you do ♪
1734
01:31:30,018 --> 01:31:34,554
♪ I will always be around ♪
1735
01:31:34,556 --> 01:31:38,058
♪ Won't you tell me What you found, girl? ♪
1736
01:31:38,060 --> 01:31:41,728
♪ Ooh, girl, won't you? ♪
1737
01:31:44,266 --> 01:31:48,235
♪ Knock down The old grey wall ♪
1738
01:31:48,237 --> 01:31:51,705
♪ Be a part of it all ♪
1739
01:31:51,707 --> 01:31:53,573
♪ Nothing to say ♪
1740
01:31:53,575 --> 01:31:55,709
♪ Nothing to see ♪
1741
01:31:55,711 --> 01:31:57,911
♪ Nothing to do ♪
1742
01:32:00,883 --> 01:32:04,251
♪ If you would give me all ♪
1743
01:32:04,253 --> 01:32:07,754
♪ As I would give it to you ♪
1744
01:32:07,756 --> 01:32:09,856
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1745
01:32:09,858 --> 01:32:11,825
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1746
01:32:11,827 --> 01:32:14,995
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1747
01:32:14,997 --> 01:32:19,699
♪ No matter where you go ♪
1748
01:32:19,701 --> 01:32:23,837
♪ There will always be A place ♪
1749
01:32:23,839 --> 01:32:27,007
♪ Can't you see it In my face, girl ♪
1750
01:32:27,009 --> 01:32:31,177
♪ Ooh, girl, won't you? ♪
1751
01:32:49,865 --> 01:32:53,767
♪ Knock down The old grey wall ♪
1752
01:32:53,769 --> 01:32:56,970
♪ Be a part of it all ♪
1753
01:32:56,972 --> 01:32:58,939
♪ Nothing to say ♪
1754
01:32:58,941 --> 01:33:01,174
♪ Nothing to see ♪
1755
01:33:01,176 --> 01:33:03,777
♪ Nothing to do ♪
1756
01:33:06,048 --> 01:33:10,016
♪ If you would give me all ♪
1757
01:33:10,018 --> 01:33:13,186
♪ As I would give it to you ♪
1758
01:33:13,188 --> 01:33:15,221
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1759
01:33:15,223 --> 01:33:17,290
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1760
01:33:17,292 --> 01:33:20,760
♪ Nothing would be ♪
1761
01:33:20,762 --> 01:33:24,831
♪ No matter what you are ♪
1762
01:33:24,833 --> 01:33:28,969
♪ I will always be with you ♪
1763
01:33:28,971 --> 01:33:32,706
♪ Doesn't matter what you do, Girl ♪
1764
01:33:32,708 --> 01:33:36,743
♪ Ooh, girl, with you ♪
1765
01:33:39,014 --> 01:33:44,818
♪ Ooh, girl, you girl, Want you ♪
1766
01:33:47,189 --> 01:33:52,826
♪ Ooh, girl, you girl, Want you ♪
120507
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