All language subtitles for The L Word (2004) S01E08.en

I did the movie with Baz.

- I did not see it.
- Oh, but you know the story.

- No, not really.
- Oh, my God, The Gift Of The Magi?

This isn't gonna work.

They were supposed to cut it on
the bias. You can't wear this.

Carla, non mi piace. Di'
a Battistoni di rifarlo.

Let me see what I can
do here. Turn this way.

Prego! Prego! Andiamo!

Anyway, The Gift Of The
Magi is a story by O Henry.

It's about the foolish
sacrifices we make for love.

Foolish? How?

In the story, there are two
young lovers, Jim and Della.

They have no money

and they want to buy each
other a Christmas present.

I'm gonna try something but I
gotta pin it from underneath.

OK.

So Joe, the young man,

he has only one possession, his
grandfather's gold pocket watch...

... which he treasures
more than anything.

Except for Della.

Shall I go on?

What?

With the story.

Yes. Please.

♪ Y de noche ♪

♪ Y de noche ♪

♪ Por no sentirte solo ♪

♪ Recordarás ♪

Where have you been?

I, um... I met these two kids.

And they lived in this
little town called Bishop,

which is in the Sierras.

And it was so beautiful.

There was this mountain
called Thunderbolt Peak.

You know I could never make it
to the top of a mountain, right?

- You climbed a mountain?
- Yeah.

- I got your letter, Jenny.
- Uh-huh.

I never wanted you
to rip your heart out.

I just... wanted you
to be honest with me.

Yes.

I have this present for you.

I found this in this little,
tiny town called Lone Pine.

It's a chain for your stopwatch,

so you don't forget it all the time.

I broke it.

- It was your grandfather's.
- Yeah, it was.

It was that day.

I'm sorry.

So that was... the
first time it happened?

Yes.

Those are yours. Get out.

You've been screwing her since
the first night you went out!

Even Bette and Tina knew. I was the
only idiot who had no fucking clue!

You pathological, fucking liar!

Get out of my house.
Get out of my house.

- Go.
- OK.

No, no...

- And that's it. You want us to ask, so...
- Just 'cause she's squatty...

She's just short, guys. All right?

There's nothing wrong
with it. She's tiny.

Fucking Shane met Madonna at a party.

- La petite blonde qui chante ?
- Does she want you?

- Did you already do her?
- Well, I am doing her hair next week.

- Harry gave Shane his yacht.
- His yacht?

Yeah, Friday night. I'm having a party.

- Hi.
- Hi, guys!

- Hello.
- Hi.

Here's a chair for you.

- Oh...
- So, Tina, how do you feel?

Oh, my God, you wouldn't believe it.

My acid indigestion is so much better

since Dr Wilson prescribed the antacid.

- The tablets are better than the liquid.
- Yeah.

But last night I woke up at 3am
with the most unbelievable heartburn.

My HCD levels are high,

which can be a good thing, but
it makes nausea so much worse.

It should subside after 14 weeks.

This morning I am pulling on my
socks and I notice this varicose vein.

If she keeps doing yoga and
pelvic floor exercises...

It's because of the increase
in hormone production

that the walls of the veins relax.

It's unbelievable what
the body goes through.

Which reminds me, today is
our ceremony in spirit flow.

- What ceremony?
- We told you about it.

The Sikhs believe that the soul
enters the foetus's body at 13 weeks.

- Cool.
- My yoga teacher does this ritual.

We were hoping that you guys
would be there for the chanting.

And there's gonna be a blessing.

We wouldn't miss it. Would we?

- Absolutely not.
- Sounds great.

♪ Om... ♪

♪ Om... ♪

Om... my God.

Now, if you'll all join me in
singing "May the Longtime Sun"

and remember to send your
blessings to Tina and Bette

and the new being they're creating.

♪ May the longtime
sun shine upon you ♪

♪ All love surround you ♪

♪ And the pure light within you ♪

♪ Guide your way home ♪

♪ May the longtime
sun shine upon you... ♪

What happened to you?

I know that you...

... don't wanna talk to me
after what I said to you.

What do you need, Jenny?

I need a bath.

Can I go to your house?

I can wait for your break.

I thought you never
wanted to see me again.

We were together for four years.

We were engaged.

I just had to try to make things work.

He really loves you.

He came to show me.

- Tim did that to you?
- Yes, but I'm not gonna press charges.

Am I just a coward?

And a liar?

And a cheater?

Adiós, chiquitas.

- Oh, bye, baby. Take care.
- See you guys.

Bye.

Tell us again about this
crazy party on the boat.

All right. Harry booked it, right?
But he has to go out of town.

There's a free bar. There are
very sweet cocktail waitresses.

- It could be tit.
- I'm sure it will be tit.

And I'm sure that you will completely
understand why we won't be there.

- That's too bad. You're missing out.
- I'm nesting.

I wish I could describe what
it feels like. It's... It's...

- We can use our imaginations.
- ... primal!

Animals do this when they're gestating.

You become a homebody. You just
retreat like a brooding hen.

So you're gonna pass up a girl-party

on the most famous gin
palace in the Pacific

so you can go home and sit on an egg?

- Is this what I'm hearing?
- Yes, that is what you're hearing. Yes, we are.

- I gotta get back to work.
- Bye.

- Thanks for coming.
- OK. Bye.

- It was lovely.
- Yeah, congratulations.

- Quite moving.
- It was really pretty.

- It's so desperate. We have to do this.
- Six o'clock. OK?

- Right.
- See you later.

Sorry I'm so late, sweetie.

I forgot the three new
natural childbirth books we...

What's going on?

- These guys have something to say.
- Have a seat next to Tina.

- Can I just...
- No, no. I have it.

- OK.
- OK. Yeah? Yeah.

Will you put that in the fridge?

Leaving hot food out
brings the bacteria to life.

Toxoplasmosis is a prevalent
cause of birth defects.

You get it from contaminated
food, unpasteurised cheese and...

- Cats. Cats.
- Outdoor cats.

- Slander against cats. Write that down.
- What are you writing, anyway?

OK, here goes.

The reason we're here,
your friends and family:

because we do consider you our family,

that's why we were at
that ritual thing...

is to perform an intervention.

My cousins did this for my Uncle Bill.

He hasn't had a drink since
they put him in the straitjacket

and hauled him off to rehab.

- Thank you for that, Shane.
- Sure.

- Now, I know what you're thinking...
- Good, because we're totally mystified.

An intervention is about
helping people you love

change destructive
patterns of behaviour.

- Over the past approximately...
- Twelve.

... twelve weeks, we've
noticed a very alarming pattern.

Um... You two are having a baby.

- And we are very happy for you.
- Why wouldn't you be?

- Jump in any time.
- OK. Um... guys.

We've seen this happen with other
couples. Janet and Sue, for instance.

Claudia and Tammy... Oh,
God, especially Mimi and Ivy.

It would kill us, you guys, if
you wound up like Mimi and Ivy.

We wouldn't be your friends
if we just stood back and...

... let you get so... so...

- What?
- Boring.

- Boring.
- Boring, guys.

Boring?

I know this is painful.
Denial's very common. It's OK.

That's why we've made
this list of incidents

and this multiple-choice
self-assessment test,

which we'll go through with you.

Then you can fill it out
together and tally the results.

It has results?

- Results you can... tally?
- Jesus!

- OK. Ready?
- No, but go ahead.

March 5. TK arrives at The Planet

with a catalogue of maternity underwear

and takes up breakfast
making everyone choose

between cotton granny-panties

and wide-waistband stretch
Lycra maternity briefs.

Sure, I did that, but I
needed you to help me...

Acceptance is the
first step, Tina. Dana.

Right. Tina, this one's for
you, from the questionnaire.

An appropriate response to the
question "Hi, how are you?" is...

- I don't know. A.
- A. "Fine, thanks. And you?"

B, which also would have been
good: "I'm feeling a little tired,

but really happy to see you guys."

- But C? Shane.
- Yep. Um... C.

"I'm taking progesterone suppositories

and my vaginal discharge is all gooey."

"My gums are spongy and
bleeding from the hormones

and extra blood in my body."

Bette, don't think
this is just about Tina.

- I'm sure. Bored the hell out of you.
- Look, guys, we love you so much.

We love you guys. We do.

Ditto. Love you.

That's why it pains us to see
you in this downward spiral.

I mean, Tina, look at your feet.

Look, it says "True/False.

Right now I am wearing
fuzzy-wuzzy slippers."

- All right.
- OK.

So, uh, maybe give you some copies.

- Here's some extras in case you mess up.
- See ya.

- OK, bye-bye.
- Love you guys.

You're not bored by
your mommies, are you?

Not.

¡Hola!

Oh. Wait... Can you hold on
a minute? Just one minute.

Hi! Yeah. Yeah, this is me.

It's kind of a whistle-stop tour.

Washington U tomorrow,
then LA the following day.

I've been offered a place
at USC, an internship.

Anyways, what I was thinking... I'm
in interviews most of the afternoon

and then I'm catching an
evening flight back to DC.

But I thought maybe... maybe
we could meet before I leave.

I realise you're not
supposed to put yourself in...

you know, stressful situations

at this stage in the recovery process

and I wanna be respectful of that.

No, I'm OK. I can handle it.

OK? I'll see you then.

That's pretty much it until
they release the campaign.

You look fucking hot. You should
dress like that more often.

- I'm going to a party later.
- Great. That reminds me of one thing.

Usually, in a contract like
this, there's a lifestyle clause,

in which you, as the spokesperson,

are expected to reflect
the company's image

in all aspects of your life: stupid
things like no public drunkenness

or... no Satan worshipping.

This is the deal. Once you sign
this thing, Subaru owns your ass.

- You've gotta play by their rules.
- What about Martina?

Yeah. I know Subaru did that
whole Martina-lifestyle campaign

but that's Martina. She's a superstar.

She can pull off the whole gay
thing but you're not Martina, babe.

You're not Tiger Woods,
you're not a superstar.

What you are is very hot, very sexy.

This is your chance to cash in.

But you gotta face the
facts, Dana. Clock's ticking.

Your... Anna Kournikova
days are numbered.

- Fuck you, Conrad.
- Hey, I've offered.

Lighten up, Fairbanks. You
can be a les when you retire.

Right now, you're an ass-kickin'
but... dick-lovin'... athlete.

Who's getting a fat paycheck.

All you gotta do is smile
pretty for the camera.

- Hey, ladies, how you doing?
- Good.

- Names, please?
- Bette Porter and Tina Kennard.

Shane's not here yet but make
yourselves feel comfortable.

- Thanks.
- You're the first two to arrive.

Uh-oh, we're the first ones here.

- That's really boring. So boring.
- That's boring. So boring.

God, this is so nice.

It is.

And so peaceful.

Yeah, this is what we needed.

We've got about an hour.

You still haven't told me...
What do you think counts as sex?

I don't know. If you have an orgasm?

That would mean
thousands of married women

with children have never had sex.

But either way, you and
I definitely have had sex.

You're so sexy, Dana.
You make me come so hard.

- Did I offend you?
- No, everything's fine.

- What's up?
- I need you to stop.

- Stop what?
- Touching me. Kissing me.

I can't do this. I'm
not ready for all this.

I don't believe you.

I've never met anyone more
ready in my entire life.

I know... I'm gay and when I hide that,

I hide the best part of me.

But you don't understand
what it means to be me.

My clock is ticking and you
wanna have sex in the street.

- What? No.
- I don't wanna parade around.

I'm not like you. I
care what they think.

Is this about the ad campaign?

Did your agent scare
the shit out of you?

I can't stand to be
judged by you all the time.

You're a bigger, better person than me

and whenever I look at
you I'm reminded of that.

I'm sorry. I've been putting
too much pressure on you.

- Maybe we should just...
- No.

No.

I just... I can't. OK? Just forget it.

I can't. This is too hard.

I don't wanna be with you.

What were you doing
last night around 9.15?

I don't know. I think brushing my teeth.

Did you feel anything? Because
I was sending you reiki.

Oh, my God! Did you say 9.15?

- Reiki. Isn't that boring?
- Really boring. Write it down.

You're under so much stress

with everything that's
going on with your mother.

If you want, I could do
some hands-on with you later.

I would love that. I
would really love that.

I actually... I have this... I
don't know if you can feel this.

- Can you feel that?
- Yeah.

It's definitely... blocked.

Hold on a second.

Hey. Hey, hey. Where's your woman?

She couldn't make it.

- That sucks. Are you all right?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

Cool.

- Are you feeling that?
- Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

I'm working telepathically
on your glutes.

Right.

You're carrying a lot of stress
in your lower back and hips.

Right. Now... I'm releasing it.

OK.

Can I take your shirt
off? It might help.

Yeah. Yeah, sure, of course.
If you think it'll help.

- OK.
- All right.

Are you ready? Cheers.

Cheers.

One more, one more.

- One more?
- Yes, one more.

Are we ready? Ready? Once again.

- Go.
- Cheers.

Fabulous. OK.

Whoo!

- Wait.
- What? What?

I have something.

- You're kidding, right?
- Why would I be kidding?

Because... because you're a man.
You know? You got the real thing.

That's not how I wanna make love to you.

That's how I want you to, OK?

- But it goes against who I am.
- Listen, you're a man.

You're a man named Lisa,
but you're definitely a man.

I'm a lesbian... man.

Oh...

Dana's really getting
down with her bad self.

And I bet her bad self is gonna
feel real bad in the morning.

- How are you holding up?
- Mm, not so good.

Do you think they have
a 12-step programme

for people who are
addicted to domesticity?

Oh, my God!

What? What's the matter?

What?

No, no, no. Don't do this.

What...

But you had a good time!

Slip under my cloak of boringness

and no one will even notice we're gone.

♪ Un año de amor ♪

♪ Si ahora tú te va ♪

♪ Pronto descubrirás ♪

♪ Que los días son eternos ♪

♪ Y vacíos sin mí ♪

♪ Y de noche ♪

♪ Y de noche ♪

♪ Por no sentirte solo ♪

♪ Recordarás nuestros días felices ♪

♪ Recordarás el sabor de mis besos ♪

♪ Yentenderás ♪

♪ En un sólo momento ♪

♪ Que significa ♪

♪ Un año de amor ♪

♪ Que significa ♪

♪ Un año de amor ♪

Hang in there. I got you.

Oh, baby, let it out. Let it go.

Oof!

Here's your hot milk and
honey if you still want it.

- I love you.
- Love you, too.

And I think you're the most
exciting woman in all of Los Angeles.

Mm. Baby, will you turn off the light?

Hey, you guys, where are Bette and Tina?

- Boring.
- Yeah, so boring.

I don't know.

I mean, think about
it, what's more boring?

You can make endless lists.

You can bawl your head off and
then puke over the side of the boat.

Or you get to go home

and sleep with the same person

you've been in love
with for seven years.

I don't know.

- Hey!
- Shane.

- Shane...
- Please get down.

Shane, you're freaking me out. Get down!

Oh! Oh...

I'm fucking coming.

Wakey, wakey! Jesus fucking
Christ, what happened to you?

- I got food poisoning.
- Oh, God!

Tell whats-her-name to do you sober
the night before a photo shoot.

- Is she up there?
- No, she...

- I'll go get ready.
- Yeah. Make yourself presentable.

Make-up artists will do the rest.

They can work wonders. Remember Gia?

Come on, five more. Don't give up.

- Not if you want buns of steel.
- I don't want buns of steel.

I do, if I don't have to strap
on that torture treatment.

- These girls like strap-ons.
- Shut up!

- Oh now, you didn't say that!
- And... done.

Come on, let's stretch.

- What's up?
- What are you doing tonight?

A lot of paperwork. Why?

David called me the other day.

OK. So I'll leave you guys
to it. Same time tomorrow?

- Yeah.
- Good job. Bye.

Did you know he was gonna call me?

Dad said he might.

Don't be angry with me. I didn't
tell you in case he didn't.

That's bullshit! This
charade about him calling me

because Melvin says it's all right?

It's bullshit!

I'm sorry you feel that way.

I told him I would meet him
tonight at six at his hotel.

I'm so scared.

Would you come with me?

I'll pick you up at 5.30.

What are you thinking?

- I'm thinking that I'm very happy.
- You are?

Yeah. And I can't believe that I'm
so happy while Tim hurts so much.

Well, you deserve to be happy.

You know, I have my journals
and my computer at Tim's and...

I was wondering if I
could bring them here.

- You wanna bring them here?
- Yes.

I'm not saying I wanna move in. It
would just be for a couple of days.

But I feel like I should
be writing right now.

I would feel honoured.

- I think I could...
- You should move here. Now.

Really? 'Cause it's so beautiful

the way the light is coming
in through the windows.

I feel very inspired.

- You do?
- I do.

Yes, you could... you
could write on the desk

and looking over at the canals. And...

... you could write
great works of literature

that would go down in history.

Don't you wish there
was a parallel universe?

- Parallel universe?
- Yeah.

Where we could live out this fantasy.

Oh. You know, it wouldn't
be for more than a week.

'Cause I... can't stay at Tim's any more

and it would just be until I...

- I guess I have to find...
- I would love to.

- You would love to?
- I would love to. Oh, yes.

But Francesca's coming back tomorrow.

- Francesca?
- Yeah.

She was in Rome, doing a ballet,
and then four months in Budapest.

And... and doing a movie.

Who is Francesca?

Francesca. You know. I told you.

Everybody knows.

No. I don't know.

Where are you going?

Jenny, this is not the solution.
We have to talk about this.

The difference between you
and I... Francesca and I...

It's so different.

She travels four to five months
a year. She's a costume designer.

What's her last name?

Wolff. With two Fs.

Who are you?

Someone who cares about you.

You'll find that your life is richer,

more full of possibilities and choices.

I've opened up your world.

- Fuck you.
- Oh, Jenny...

Don't...

... touch me.

That's great, Dana! You look amazing.

Look out, Kournikova,
here comes Dana Fairbanks.

- Let's not sit at the bar.
- Don't be ridiculous.

- I'm not gonna drink tonight.
- Tonight?

Come on.

- When did you last see me shit-faced?
- That's not the point.

You and David have been
brainwashed by Melvin

into thinking that I'm some
kind of a falling-down drunk.

- I got it under control.
- What can I get you?

A mineral water, please.

I'm sorry, I will have
the same thing also.

Oh, better yet, I'll have a seltzer.

- How about a squirt of lime in that?
- Sure.

OK.

I was having a drink when David called.

And I haven't had one
since. It's been two days.

- I'm gonna try.
- That's good. At least you're trying.

- How do you do it?
- I have no desire to drink.

No, I mean, how do you
keep it all together?

You got it all down. Career, love...
Now you're gonna have a family.

What? Is something wrong with Tina?

No, everything's fine, Tina's
fine, everything's great.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I just have things on my mind.

- But it's nothing.
- I know what it is.

You are having the daddy blues.

You are worrying about all the
responsibilities coming down on you.

The financial responsibilities,

the "I can't take any more
risk" responsibilities.

Now there are two other lives

that are totally dependent on
you keeping everything together.

It's a monster. It's big.

Yeah, it is. I'm sure that's all it is.

Sure it is. 'Cause
you and Tina are solid.

You've got a marriage like God
chose you two to find each other.

That's a love you never wanna let go.

I've gotta go to the
bathroom. I'll be right back.

That's not my concern.

You are making one big
production out of that.

I just want you to
get your money's worth.

- Enjoy.
- Skol, baby.

That was amazing. It was really great.

Thank you. Thanks very much.

Do you guys wanna see
the preliminary art?

- Yeah.
- Super. I got mock-ups over here.

Check these out. This is the one
we like best. Our concept is...

We wanna position you
as a gay Anna Kournikova.

- What?
- The gay Anna Kournikova.

Hold on a second, guys!
What are you talking about?

- This is not something we discussed...
- I love it. I love it.

I wanna be the gay
Anna Kournikova. I do.

- Well, that's great.
- Wait a second, this is brilliant!

This is exactly the kind of thing
we've been groping for. It's a hook.

- That's why they pay you the big bucks.
- I don't know about that.

Fantastic. Right, babe?

- You're fired.
- Get outta here!

No, really. You're fired.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much.

You've no idea how good this feels.

What time do you have?

Seven.

Maybe he got held up at his meeting.
What time was he gonna finish?

It was four o'clock.

That's not him, Kit.

- What did you say his name was?
- David Waters.

Waters. Right.

Here he is. David Waters
checked out about 45 minutes ago.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- He's about 25 years old.
- Six feet tall, tan suit.

I checked him out myself. I
saw him get into a cab, in fact.

I'm sure there's been a
misunderstanding. We'll call him.

D'you want me to call him?
I have his number in DC.

No.

You have no reason to be kind to me,

but I need to stay in my
writing studio tonight.

Why?

What happened?

Please believe me when I say

that I wish none of
this had ever happened.

Jenny...

The things you say...

... have absolutely no meaning to me.

One night.

That's it.

Go round the back.