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Previously onThe Affair...
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I don't want to have to pay
the rent by myself every month.
3
00:00:03,299 --> 00:00:06,132
Let's just go get married
at city hall tonight.
4
00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:08,007
I want a wedding,
at my grandparents' house.
5
00:00:08,007 --> 00:00:09,966
Whitney, this marriage thing,
6
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,341
you don't have to do it,
you know.
7
00:00:11,341 --> 00:00:13,007
But, actually, Dad, I do,
because if I don't,
8
00:00:13,007 --> 00:00:14,549
then Colin has to leave
the country.
9
00:00:14,549 --> 00:00:18,383
I'm desperate for a date
to my opening tomorrow.
10
00:00:18,383 --> 00:00:20,716
-Dashiell Boucicault.
-Hi.
11
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:23,841
[Furkat]
He likes to watch.
12
00:00:23,841 --> 00:00:25,716
He could give you a gallery.
13
00:00:25,716 --> 00:00:26,841
-[Ben] I'm married.
-Thank you
14
00:00:26,841 --> 00:00:28,383
for finally telling me.
15
00:00:28,383 --> 00:00:30,508
-That's it?
-What do you want me to say?
16
00:00:30,508 --> 00:00:31,966
Doesn't matter.
You love me, too.
17
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:35,049
Oh, it does matter.
And I don't forgive you.
18
00:00:35,049 --> 00:00:37,591
And how can I tell you I love
you? I don't even know you.
19
00:00:37,591 --> 00:00:40,299
[both grunting]
20
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[wind whooshing]
21
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,800
[EJ]
You're working so calmly
22
00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,049
in the place
where your mother died.
23
00:00:55,049 --> 00:00:56,966
[Joanie]
You were right.
24
00:00:56,966 --> 00:00:58,549
She died at the jetty.
25
00:00:58,549 --> 00:01:00,925
[EJ] Why was your dadobsessing about a Marine
26
00:01:00,925 --> 00:01:02,800
named Benjamin Cruz?
27
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I think he killed her.
28
00:01:12,758 --> 00:01:15,341
♪ I was screaming
into the canyon ♪
29
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♪ At the moment of my death ♪
30
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♪ The echo I created ♪
31
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♪ Outlasted my last breath ♪
32
00:01:25,591 --> 00:01:28,716
♪ My voice it made
an avalanche ♪
33
00:01:28,716 --> 00:01:32,049
♪ And buried a man
I never knew ♪
34
00:01:32,049 --> 00:01:35,257
♪ And when he died,
his widowed bride ♪
35
00:01:35,257 --> 00:01:37,883
♪ Met your daddy
and they made you ♪
36
00:01:37,883 --> 00:01:39,800
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
37
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,007
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
38
00:01:42,007 --> 00:01:44,633
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
39
00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:46,549
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
40
00:01:46,549 --> 00:01:49,049
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
41
00:01:49,049 --> 00:01:51,049
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
42
00:01:51,049 --> 00:01:53,174
♪ I have only one thing to do ♪
43
00:01:53,174 --> 00:01:55,383
♪ And that's be the wave
that I am, and then ♪
44
00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:59,007
♪ Sink back into the ocean,
sink back into the ocean ♪
45
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♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
46
00:02:00,508 --> 00:02:01,966
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
47
00:02:01,966 --> 00:02:03,966
♪ Sink back into the o... ♪
48
00:02:03,966 --> 00:02:05,466
♪ Sink back into the ocean ♪
49
00:02:05,466 --> 00:02:07,633
♪ Sink back
into the ocean ♪
50
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,508
♪ "Walking with a Stranger"
by Chris Staples ♪
51
00:02:23,508 --> 00:02:25,257
♪♪♪
52
00:02:44,257 --> 00:02:47,758
♪ Well, it sure took forever ♪
53
00:02:47,758 --> 00:02:51,007
♪ But the summer finally came ♪
54
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,424
♪ Felt like walking
with a stranger ♪
55
00:02:56,424 --> 00:03:00,466
♪ Who didn't even know
her name ♪
56
00:03:03,716 --> 00:03:06,966
♪ Pretty soon
I grew accustomed ♪
57
00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:10,966
♪ To her warm and sunny way ♪
58
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,716
♪ Pretty soon I would forget ♪
59
00:03:16,716 --> 00:03:19,841
♪ About those frigid
winter days ♪
60
00:03:22,716 --> 00:03:24,883
♪ If you just stay true... ♪
61
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Thank God you're here.
62
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,800
Your grandfather's been
driving me bonkers.
63
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,049
[laughs softly]
64
00:03:31,049 --> 00:03:33,091
-Noah.
-Margaret.
65
00:03:33,091 --> 00:03:34,883
-Where's Helen?
-Oh, I told you, Grandma.
66
00:03:34,883 --> 00:03:36,716
She couldn't come.
She had to work.
67
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,091
Well, that's just disgusting.
68
00:03:38,091 --> 00:03:39,925
[Whitney]
I don't think so.
69
00:03:39,925 --> 00:03:41,341
[Margaret]
Well, of course it is.
70
00:03:41,341 --> 00:03:42,758
-[laughs softly]
-This is your wedding.
71
00:03:42,758 --> 00:03:45,466
What could be more important
than your wedding, Whitney?
72
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:47,675
[Margaret] I swear I brought
your mother up better than that.
73
00:03:47,675 --> 00:03:49,883
I really did.
74
00:03:49,883 --> 00:03:52,091
Oh, well.
She's a lost cause.
75
00:03:52,091 --> 00:03:54,758
You're my only hope
for happiness now.
76
00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:56,257
[Margaret]
Ugh. Come upstairs.
77
00:03:56,257 --> 00:03:58,966
I've laid out
all the bridal magazines.
78
00:03:58,966 --> 00:04:00,925
Noah, take Whitney's things
to the blue room.
79
00:04:00,925 --> 00:04:02,216
You're in the basement.
80
00:04:02,216 --> 00:04:04,257
Oh, and see if you can
find Bruce.
81
00:04:04,257 --> 00:04:06,007
He'd be thrilled to see you.
82
00:04:09,424 --> 00:04:12,800
[clattering]
83
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,841
Hey. Hey, Bruce.
84
00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:18,299
-Hi.
-H-Hello.
85
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,800
[grunts]
86
00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:22,383
Who are you?
87
00:04:22,383 --> 00:04:25,132
Uh, Noah.
88
00:04:26,299 --> 00:04:27,966
Noah. N-Noah Solloway?
89
00:04:27,966 --> 00:04:30,299
-I'm your ex--
-Oh, oh. Yes, of course.
90
00:04:30,299 --> 00:04:31,758
I'm so sorry.
91
00:04:31,758 --> 00:04:32,966
Uh, Bruce Butler.
92
00:04:32,966 --> 00:04:35,466
Margaret told me
you were coming.
93
00:04:35,466 --> 00:04:37,132
The writer. Uh...
94
00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:38,841
She says you've published
multiple books.
95
00:04:38,841 --> 00:04:40,383
That's right, yeah.
96
00:04:40,383 --> 00:04:42,508
Wow, that's impressive.
97
00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:45,633
Uh, you know,
there's a great expression.
98
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,883
Uh...
99
00:04:47,883 --> 00:04:51,508
"No one has one book
in him, but..."
100
00:04:51,508 --> 00:04:53,174
Um. It's, uh...
101
00:04:53,174 --> 00:04:55,508
I think it's,
"Everyone has one book in them.
102
00:04:55,508 --> 00:04:57,424
Almost nobody has two."
103
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:02,758
Oh. Uh... That's not very nice.
104
00:05:02,758 --> 00:05:05,716
Uh, you know,
I always wanted to be a writer.
105
00:05:05,716 --> 00:05:09,299
But there never seemed
to be enough hours in the day.
106
00:05:09,299 --> 00:05:10,633
Yeah...
107
00:05:10,633 --> 00:05:13,174
Are you hungry?
I was craving some, uh,
108
00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,341
some of these, uh...
109
00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:16,675
-some of these--
-Here.
110
00:05:16,675 --> 00:05:18,216
Bruce, let-let me
make those for you.
111
00:05:18,216 --> 00:05:19,925
No. No, no, you're our guest.
112
00:05:19,925 --> 00:05:23,174
You know... No, no.
You... have-have some coffee.
113
00:05:23,174 --> 00:05:27,424
Uh, uh, I have no idea
how to use that machine.
114
00:05:27,424 --> 00:05:30,174
Sure, I'll make some.
115
00:05:30,174 --> 00:05:33,466
Um, are you, uh, you married?
116
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Uh, no. Divorced.
117
00:05:38,549 --> 00:05:40,424
Twice, actually.
118
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,549
Well, that's probably why
you have so much time to write.
119
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I'm more of
a family man, myself.
120
00:05:47,841 --> 00:05:49,049
Bruce, no.
121
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,174
-[Bruce] Oh...
-Oh, Jesus.
122
00:05:50,174 --> 00:05:52,716
[grunts]
123
00:05:52,716 --> 00:05:54,383
-It's okay.
-[Bruce stammers]
124
00:05:54,383 --> 00:05:56,216
-No...
-I just, I just wanted to--
125
00:05:56,216 --> 00:05:58,466
[Margaret] It's-it's all right,
it's all right. Shh, shh.
126
00:05:58,466 --> 00:06:02,841
We're trying
to set boundaries for Bruce.
127
00:06:02,841 --> 00:06:04,383
Some new expectations.
128
00:06:04,383 --> 00:06:05,508
While you're here,
I'd appreciate it
129
00:06:05,508 --> 00:06:07,216
if you could help with that.
130
00:06:07,216 --> 00:06:08,633
I'm sorry.
I didn't... I didn't know.
131
00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:09,883
Well, now you do.
132
00:06:09,883 --> 00:06:11,883
[Noah sighs]
133
00:06:11,883 --> 00:06:13,299
[Whitney]
Hi.
134
00:06:13,299 --> 00:06:15,800
[chuckles] Ah.
What are you doing here?
135
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:19,716
-I'm getting married.
-What? To this fellow?
136
00:06:19,716 --> 00:06:22,257
Why, Helly-Belly,
that's fantastic.
137
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,049
Does this mean that
you've finally broken up
138
00:06:24,049 --> 00:06:25,925
with that kid from Pennsylvania?
139
00:06:25,925 --> 00:06:27,007
The-the one that
was practically a mute?
140
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:28,925
Bruce, t-this is Whitney.
141
00:06:28,925 --> 00:06:32,216
Helen is your daughter.
This is your granddaughter.
142
00:06:32,216 --> 00:06:34,132
G-Granddaughter?
143
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,925
I can't do this anymore.
144
00:06:35,925 --> 00:06:37,383
It's okay.
Margaret, it's okay.
145
00:06:37,383 --> 00:06:38,508
Let's-let's focus
on the wedding. Uh...
146
00:06:38,508 --> 00:06:40,383
Whitney has this huge agenda
for us,
147
00:06:40,383 --> 00:06:42,341
and, uh,
she needs your help.
148
00:06:42,341 --> 00:06:43,883
Uh, that's right, Grandma.
149
00:06:43,883 --> 00:06:46,508
Um, I need to decide
on a florist.
150
00:06:46,508 --> 00:06:47,966
I've narrowed it down to three,
151
00:06:47,966 --> 00:06:49,466
but I'm sure
you'll have an opinion.
152
00:06:49,466 --> 00:06:52,091
Um, I need to
figure out a caterer.
153
00:06:52,091 --> 00:06:54,007
I wanted to find somebody
who could do vegan options.
154
00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:55,549
I don't know if you know
anybody.
155
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:58,216
And, um... Oh, well,
we already got a tent.
156
00:06:58,216 --> 00:06:59,216
[Margaret]
Oh, that reminds me.
157
00:06:59,216 --> 00:07:01,424
The bill for the tent came.
158
00:07:02,841 --> 00:07:04,758
Margaret, I'm...
159
00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,466
I thought I was doing
the catering,
160
00:07:06,466 --> 00:07:08,383
and you and Bruce were
gonna pay for the tent.
161
00:07:08,383 --> 00:07:11,633
Noah, we can't pay for this.
It's $20,000.
162
00:07:13,341 --> 00:07:14,633
[Bruce]
We don't have any money.
163
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,800
[Margaret] And whose fault
is that, Marie Antoinette?
164
00:07:18,883 --> 00:07:22,591
[Margaret] [gasps] Whitney,
I just had a splendid idea.
165
00:07:22,591 --> 00:07:25,424
Why don't I call Dean
at our tennis club?
166
00:07:25,424 --> 00:07:27,216
They do
a marvelous brunch.
167
00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:29,049
And if we do
the wedding reception
168
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,716
outside of peak hours,
169
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,299
I'm sure we can
get a discount
170
00:07:32,299 --> 00:07:33,758
on the cabana.
171
00:07:33,758 --> 00:07:35,007
They have
a waffle station
172
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and a make-your-own-omelette
bar.
173
00:07:38,132 --> 00:07:39,966
Excuse me, please.
174
00:07:43,549 --> 00:07:47,216
Okay, M-Margaret, the-the
wedding is happening here.
175
00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:49,341
Okay? So, if you want
to help,
176
00:07:49,341 --> 00:07:52,800
help us figure out
a way to make that happen.
177
00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,633
Hey.
178
00:08:00,091 --> 00:08:01,466
[sighs]
179
00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,508
We can't afford a wedding,
can we?
180
00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:06,049
No one can afford a wedding.
Not really.
181
00:08:06,049 --> 00:08:07,549
We can figure it out.
182
00:08:07,549 --> 00:08:09,633
No, I-I need
to get back to reality.
183
00:08:09,633 --> 00:08:11,091
I... Work has been crazy.
184
00:08:11,091 --> 00:08:12,549
I had to miss three days
to be here.
185
00:08:12,549 --> 00:08:15,383
Andrea already wants
to fucking kill me.
186
00:08:15,383 --> 00:08:19,132
It's fine. We'll just...
we'll get married at city hall.
187
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,174
Come on, Whitney. You've been
talking about having a wedding
188
00:08:21,174 --> 00:08:22,675
in this house since
before you were in braces.
189
00:08:22,675 --> 00:08:25,091
I already found a red-eye
that we can get on tonight.
190
00:08:25,091 --> 00:08:27,132
It has seats available.
191
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,091
Give me six hours.
192
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,549
Okay? Let's at least try.
193
00:08:30,549 --> 00:08:32,216
Then if you still
want to go to city hall,
194
00:08:32,216 --> 00:08:33,841
then we'll go
to city hall.
195
00:08:33,841 --> 00:08:36,383
Come on. Have you got a pen?
196
00:08:41,257 --> 00:08:43,675
Right.
What's the first thing?
197
00:08:43,675 --> 00:08:45,424
-Um...
-Tent.
198
00:08:45,424 --> 00:08:47,758
Okay, I just received
the last part of my advance,
199
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:50,132
and I can't think of a better
thing to spend it on.
200
00:08:50,132 --> 00:08:51,383
-Dad, no.
-So that's that done.
201
00:08:51,383 --> 00:08:53,675
-Next?
-Dad, you don't get it.
202
00:08:53,675 --> 00:08:56,549
A-A tent is no good if you don't
have things to put in it.
203
00:08:56,549 --> 00:08:58,883
Backyard weddings are so
expensive because you have
204
00:08:58,883 --> 00:09:02,466
to pay for every single
little thing. See?
205
00:09:03,966 --> 00:09:06,299
-[sighs]
-Okay.
206
00:09:06,299 --> 00:09:08,216
Let's start with plates.
207
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,383
Well, this house
has got to have plenty of those.
208
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:14,675
[Margaret]
I always hoped
209
00:09:14,675 --> 00:09:17,257
your mother would inherit this,
210
00:09:17,257 --> 00:09:19,216
but she insists
on feeding you all
211
00:09:19,216 --> 00:09:21,716
from earthenware as if
she grew up on a riverbank.
212
00:09:21,716 --> 00:09:23,466
But no matter,
213
00:09:23,466 --> 00:09:25,257
because now it'll go to someone
who appreciates it.
214
00:09:25,257 --> 00:09:28,132
-Thank you, Grandma.
-This is helpful.
215
00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,925
Thanks. What's next?
216
00:09:29,925 --> 00:09:32,633
Oh, I have an appointment at
an East Hampton bridal boutique
217
00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:34,633
at two,
but it's crazy expensive.
218
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:37,549
-I think we should cancel it.
-You don't have a dress yet?
219
00:09:37,549 --> 00:09:39,341
Perfect. Come on, let's go.
220
00:09:39,341 --> 00:09:41,174
Oh, Margaret,
can we borrow your car?
221
00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:43,091
Only if Whitney drives.
222
00:09:43,091 --> 00:09:45,257
-Why?
-Because the last time you drove
223
00:09:45,257 --> 00:09:47,716
a car in Montauk,
you killed Scott Lockhart.
224
00:09:49,299 --> 00:09:51,091
♪ quiet, ambient music ♪
225
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,257
♪♪♪
226
00:09:57,007 --> 00:09:59,341
[Noah] So, what do you want
to do about music?
227
00:09:59,341 --> 00:10:01,508
You want dancing, right?
228
00:10:01,508 --> 00:10:03,716
Honestly, I kind of wanted
a flash mob.
229
00:10:03,716 --> 00:10:06,216
-What?
-You know, a flash mob?
230
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:08,800
It's, like, a surprise dance,
but everyone knows the steps.
231
00:10:08,800 --> 00:10:12,132
How could everybody know
the steps to a surprise dance?
232
00:10:12,132 --> 00:10:13,591
Because somebody teaches them
ahead of time,
233
00:10:13,591 --> 00:10:16,383
and it's like a... Never mind.
234
00:10:17,591 --> 00:10:18,966
[Whitney gasps]
235
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:20,758
Oh, look.
236
00:10:22,257 --> 00:10:23,966
We have to stop
237
00:10:23,966 --> 00:10:25,966
and see what they've done
to the Lobster Roll.
238
00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:27,549
No, Whit-Whitney,
we don't have time.
239
00:10:27,549 --> 00:10:29,800
Yes, we do. Come on.
It'll be hilarious.
240
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:31,424
[turn signal clicking]
241
00:10:31,424 --> 00:10:33,591
[pop music playing on radio]
242
00:10:53,383 --> 00:10:55,841
Hi, we okay here?
243
00:10:58,466 --> 00:11:00,466
Not as friendly
as they used to be.
244
00:11:00,466 --> 00:11:02,174
Yeah.
245
00:11:02,174 --> 00:11:04,299
[chuckles]
246
00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:10,424
Hey, remember when Stacey
almost choked and Mom saved her?
247
00:11:10,424 --> 00:11:12,716
What?
248
00:11:12,716 --> 00:11:14,341
Yeah, you remember.
We were sitting right there,
249
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,383
and Trevor and Stacey were
playing that game, and then
250
00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:18,841
Stacey put a marble
in her mouth.
251
00:11:18,841 --> 00:11:21,216
No, it wasn't, uh, it wasn't
your mom who saved her.
252
00:11:21,216 --> 00:11:23,508
It was, it was Alison.
253
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,383
What?
254
00:11:25,383 --> 00:11:27,383
No, that's-that's not
how I remember it at all.
255
00:11:27,383 --> 00:11:28,716
No, I'm pretty sure
it was her.
256
00:11:28,716 --> 00:11:31,800
Stacey was choking
and Alison was right there.
257
00:11:36,675 --> 00:11:39,383
So, was that the day
you met Alison?
258
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:42,633
Yeah, I think it was.
259
00:11:44,216 --> 00:11:46,716
So you bonded over the fact that
Stacey almost choked to death?
260
00:11:48,549 --> 00:11:50,633
Whitney, if you ever want
to talk about what happened
261
00:11:50,633 --> 00:11:51,716
-between Alison and me...
-Yeah.
262
00:11:51,716 --> 00:11:53,841
Sure. I do, actually. Go ahead.
263
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,591
Well, there's not... I didn't
exactly have a prepared speech.
264
00:11:58,591 --> 00:11:59,841
-But if you--
-Yeah. That's what I thought.
265
00:11:59,841 --> 00:12:01,508
No, I mean, if you want
to ask questions or--
266
00:12:01,508 --> 00:12:03,508
-Stop.
-[Luisa] Noah?
267
00:12:04,466 --> 00:12:06,091
Luisa, hi.
268
00:12:06,091 --> 00:12:07,675
-Hey.
-Hey, you remember Whitney,
269
00:12:07,675 --> 00:12:10,299
-my daughter?
-Yeah, of course. Uh...
270
00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:11,591
I babysat you one summer
at the Butlers'.
271
00:12:11,591 --> 00:12:13,257
I remember. Nice to see you.
272
00:12:13,257 --> 00:12:14,841
Yeah, we're in town planning
Whitney's wedding,
273
00:12:14,841 --> 00:12:16,424
if you can believe it.
274
00:12:16,424 --> 00:12:19,424
Cool. Congratulations.
275
00:12:19,424 --> 00:12:21,174
Thank you.
276
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:23,383
So this is different.
277
00:12:23,383 --> 00:12:27,841
Yeah. It's officially in the
hands of the new owners now.
278
00:12:27,841 --> 00:12:30,341
I just came by to empty
a few things out of the office.
279
00:12:30,341 --> 00:12:33,174
Ah. End of an era.
280
00:12:33,174 --> 00:12:35,841
Yep.
281
00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,424
I have to get going.
282
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,800
What's, uh,
what's next for you?
283
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,299
I'm going back to New York.
284
00:12:43,299 --> 00:12:44,341
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
285
00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:45,925
Wow.
286
00:12:45,925 --> 00:12:48,466
I can't believe you got Cole
to go to the city.
287
00:12:48,466 --> 00:12:50,132
[chuckles]
288
00:12:50,132 --> 00:12:51,966
We're separated, Noah.
289
00:12:51,966 --> 00:12:54,174
He and Joanie
are moving to Vermont.
290
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,800
This afternoon, actually,
so I have to get going.
291
00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,925
Congratulations on
your wedding. Good luck.
292
00:13:02,675 --> 00:13:04,966
I'll be right back.
293
00:13:04,966 --> 00:13:06,966
No, Dad, she doesn't
want to talk to us.
294
00:13:10,132 --> 00:13:11,675
Hey, Luisa.
295
00:13:11,675 --> 00:13:13,132
I'm sorry
if I offended you there.
296
00:13:13,132 --> 00:13:16,132
-I had no idea.
-It's fine.
297
00:13:16,132 --> 00:13:18,841
That's terrible
about you and Cole.
298
00:13:18,841 --> 00:13:22,132
Well, the writing
was on the wall, wasn't it?
299
00:13:22,132 --> 00:13:24,883
Look, I was wondering, have you
any idea when they're leaving?
300
00:13:24,883 --> 00:13:27,758
-Why?
-'Cause I want to see Joanie.
301
00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:31,007
You can't just waltz
in and out of her life
302
00:13:31,007 --> 00:13:33,007
-when it's convenient.
-I know that. I know that.
303
00:13:33,007 --> 00:13:35,341
I raised her as my own for
two years. I care about her.
304
00:13:35,341 --> 00:13:36,800
Noah, I don't feel like getting
305
00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:38,341
-in the middle of this.
-No, I understand.
306
00:13:38,341 --> 00:13:40,007
If you could just tell me
when they're leaving,
307
00:13:40,007 --> 00:13:42,091
then I can swing by, and if Cole
doesn't want me to see her,
308
00:13:42,091 --> 00:13:43,675
that's fine, I just,
I don't want her to think
309
00:13:43,675 --> 00:13:45,091
I just disappeared.
310
00:13:46,925 --> 00:13:48,257
They're leaving at five.
311
00:13:48,257 --> 00:13:49,883
Thanks.
312
00:13:49,883 --> 00:13:51,508
[engine starts]
313
00:13:51,508 --> 00:13:53,925
I'm sorry about
how it turned out here, and...
314
00:13:53,925 --> 00:13:55,925
I hope there are
good things ahead.
315
00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:59,841
Noah, I babysat your kids.
316
00:13:59,841 --> 00:14:02,174
My mother worked at your house.
317
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:03,883
Don't pretend
we're friends.
318
00:14:10,675 --> 00:14:12,466
[pop music playing on radio]
319
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:14,549
[phone chimes]
320
00:14:19,174 --> 00:14:21,633
♪ "Walking with a Stranger"
by Chris Staples ♪
321
00:14:21,633 --> 00:14:23,966
♪♪♪
322
00:14:23,966 --> 00:14:26,800
-Hey, can I get a menu, please?
-You order on that.
323
00:14:29,508 --> 00:14:31,800
♪ And death grabbed him
so quiet ♪
324
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,007
♪ It didn't even make a sound ♪
325
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,925
♪ As far as I could see
were dead leaves... ♪
326
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:44,591
Hey, just-just pull over
right here, will you?
327
00:14:44,591 --> 00:14:47,800
-[driver] What, here?
-Yeah. Just for a second.
328
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,883
♪ Pretty soon I grow a cold ♪
329
00:14:50,883 --> 00:14:54,466
♪ And hollow feeling
in my heart ♪
330
00:14:54,466 --> 00:14:57,591
[birds chirping]
331
00:14:57,591 --> 00:15:01,883
♪ Pretty soon me
and my sunny day ♪
332
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:03,675
♪ Will have to part ♪
333
00:15:03,675 --> 00:15:07,007
♪ If you just... ♪
334
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,633
Hey... you think these
would look good in a bouquet?
335
00:15:10,633 --> 00:15:12,925
Uh, you know th...
that's poison ivy, right?
336
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,174
-This is not poison ivy.
-Not the stuff you got
in your hand, man.
337
00:15:15,174 --> 00:15:18,424
The three-leafed plants that are
all around where you were
338
00:15:18,424 --> 00:15:19,800
-secret gardening.
-W... N...
339
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,800
Poison ivy doesn't grow
in the winter.
340
00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:24,341
Oh, yeah.
It definitely does.
341
00:15:24,341 --> 00:15:26,466
Oh, fuck.
342
00:15:29,758 --> 00:15:32,299
[classical music playing]
343
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,383
♪♪♪
344
00:15:34,383 --> 00:15:35,675
[Hannah]
Yay.
345
00:15:35,675 --> 00:15:38,383
-Are you Mr. Solloway?
-Yeah. Hi.
346
00:15:38,383 --> 00:15:40,716
Yeah, they told me at the front
that Whitney might be back here.
347
00:15:40,716 --> 00:15:43,966
-She sure is. Welcome.
-Thank you.
348
00:15:46,466 --> 00:15:49,049
-[Whitney] Hi, Dad.
-Hey, Whit. How's it going?
349
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:50,091
Good.
350
00:15:50,091 --> 00:15:51,800
[chuckles]
Oh, thanks.
351
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,549
It is so cute
that you're here.
352
00:15:53,549 --> 00:15:56,966
We almost never see dads
in the shop.
353
00:15:56,966 --> 00:15:58,966
-What do you do?
-[Whitney] He's a writer.
354
00:15:58,966 --> 00:16:01,841
Ooh. Anything I'd know?
355
00:16:01,841 --> 00:16:03,925
-I doubt it.
-[Whitney] He's being very
356
00:16:03,925 --> 00:16:05,299
modest. He has
a movie coming out
357
00:16:05,299 --> 00:16:08,049
-starring Sasha Mann.
-Sasha Mann?
358
00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:10,549
[chuckling] I fucking love
Sasha Mann, wow.
359
00:16:10,549 --> 00:16:11,841
[Whitney] Hey, Hannah,
could you come back here
360
00:16:11,841 --> 00:16:13,466
and give me a hand
with these clamps?
361
00:16:13,466 --> 00:16:14,299
Coming.
362
00:16:28,007 --> 00:16:29,925
[quietly]
Okay...
363
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:45,049
♪ ominous music ♪
364
00:16:45,049 --> 00:16:47,174
♪♪♪
365
00:16:51,091 --> 00:16:53,716
[Whitney exhales]
366
00:16:53,716 --> 00:16:55,549
[Whitney]
Well?
367
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,174
What do you think?
368
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:02,800
Oh, Whit.
369
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,633
You're beautiful.
370
00:17:04,633 --> 00:17:06,549
Thanks, Dad.
371
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:10,257
You guys are gonna make
the cutest father-daughter ever.
372
00:17:10,257 --> 00:17:12,800
Wow. Whitney, it's 19,
373
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,424
but I'll knock it down to 17
because it's...
374
00:17:15,424 --> 00:17:17,466
it's just so...
it's perfect.
375
00:17:17,466 --> 00:17:20,049
Uh, wh... That's, uh...
376
00:17:20,049 --> 00:17:22,091
17, as in thousand?
377
00:17:22,091 --> 00:17:25,299
Mm, sometimes dads
just need a little convincing.
378
00:17:25,299 --> 00:17:27,424
Do you mind pulling
a few less expensive
379
00:17:27,424 --> 00:17:29,257
options?
380
00:17:29,257 --> 00:17:32,758
Uh, Lizzie! Can you
come here a second?
381
00:17:32,758 --> 00:17:35,633
Oh... sweetheart.
[chuckles]
382
00:17:35,633 --> 00:17:40,675
You are front-cover
Martha-Stewart gorgeous.
383
00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:42,216
-Isn't it perfect?
-[sighs] Mm-hm.
384
00:17:42,216 --> 00:17:44,132
Whitney thinks
so, too.
385
00:17:44,132 --> 00:17:46,633
Actually, I was wondering if you
could pull some cheaper options?
386
00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:48,007
Ah, she is such a doll.
387
00:17:48,007 --> 00:17:49,633
[chuckles] Is she your first
to get married?
388
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,758
Yeah. Yeah.
389
00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:55,049
Okay. So, like, what price range
were you thinking?
390
00:17:55,049 --> 00:17:57,925
Uh... Wh...
I-I don't know, I-I--
391
00:17:57,925 --> 00:17:59,883
[Hannah]
He's a big screenwriter.
392
00:17:59,883 --> 00:18:02,341
He works with
Sasha Mann.
393
00:18:02,341 --> 00:18:03,925
[Lizzie]
Really?
394
00:18:03,925 --> 00:18:05,466
Let me ask you something,
Mr. Hollywood.
395
00:18:05,466 --> 00:18:07,883
When will there ever be
a more important time
396
00:18:07,883 --> 00:18:09,758
to splurge than for your
eldest daughter's wedding?
397
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,007
[whispering]
She loves this dress.
398
00:18:13,007 --> 00:18:17,633
Uh... Look, maybe...
maybe I can, um...
399
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:18,675
-Maybe--
-Don't, Dad.
400
00:18:18,675 --> 00:18:20,174
It's okay. It's okay.
I'm gonna change.
401
00:18:20,174 --> 00:18:23,049
I'm sorry, what,
what's happening here?
402
00:18:23,049 --> 00:18:25,132
I didn't know the dresses
were this expensive. I...
403
00:18:25,132 --> 00:18:26,800
I haven't earned
that kind of money yet.
404
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,925
Well, then why did you waste
our time with this appointment?
405
00:18:28,925 --> 00:18:31,508
It was my idea, Hannah,
and it was a big mistake.
406
00:18:31,508 --> 00:18:35,466
What kind of psycho
spends $17,000 on a dress?
407
00:18:35,466 --> 00:18:37,216
Do you know how many
clean water wells
408
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,216
you could build in Africa
with that money?
409
00:18:39,216 --> 00:18:41,966
-No. Do you?
-I bet it's a lot, you cunt.
410
00:18:43,299 --> 00:18:45,216
Nice work, Dad.
411
00:18:48,049 --> 00:18:50,633
♪ quiet, atmospheric music ♪
412
00:18:50,633 --> 00:18:52,966
[sighs]
413
00:18:58,966 --> 00:19:01,800
Dad... what's up
with the itching?
414
00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,925
It's fucking...
415
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,841
-poison ivy.
-What?
416
00:19:05,841 --> 00:19:08,299
Yeah, I tried to pick you
some wildflowers.
417
00:19:08,299 --> 00:19:10,007
Thought you might like them.
418
00:19:18,216 --> 00:19:19,216
What?
419
00:19:19,216 --> 00:19:22,508
I know what you're trying to do.
420
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:24,925
And I appreciate it.
421
00:19:24,925 --> 00:19:26,174
What am I trying to do?
422
00:19:28,299 --> 00:19:30,091
You're trying to make amends.
423
00:19:37,007 --> 00:19:39,925
Oh, look,
a daytime moon.
424
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:43,216
Your mom always used to say
they were good luck.
425
00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:50,299
[Whitney] ♪ I wandered outin the woods for years ♪
426
00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:54,841
♪ While you just stayed
in your room ♪
427
00:19:54,841 --> 00:19:56,925
♪ I saw the crescent ♪
428
00:19:56,925 --> 00:20:00,925
♪ You saw the whole
of the moon ♪
429
00:20:00,925 --> 00:20:02,049
-♪ Doo-doo-nee-nee ♪
-[chuckles]
430
00:20:02,049 --> 00:20:04,341
♪ The whole of... ♪
Who's that?
431
00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:06,216
-Who sings that?
-I don't know.
432
00:20:06,216 --> 00:20:08,716
Colin's always playing it,
it stuck in my head.
433
00:20:08,716 --> 00:20:11,591
It was the Waterboys.
That's mygeneration.
434
00:20:11,591 --> 00:20:14,841
Yeah, I think they're Irish.
I don't know, Colin's obsessed.
435
00:20:14,841 --> 00:20:17,049
-Mmm, boy's got good taste.
-[chuckles]
436
00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,800
[both chuckle]
437
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:25,007
Hey, I got an idea, but,
uh, you may hate it.
438
00:20:25,007 --> 00:20:28,383
Your mom had a really beautiful
wedding dress.
439
00:20:29,925 --> 00:20:32,758
And I don't know where it is
now, but your grandmother,
440
00:20:32,758 --> 00:20:33,841
she'd probably have it.
441
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:35,341
We know she's a hoarder.
442
00:20:37,216 --> 00:20:39,299
Okay. It was
a terrible idea.
443
00:20:39,299 --> 00:20:41,966
No.
444
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:44,424
I love it.
445
00:20:47,883 --> 00:20:50,216
-How'd it go?
-Hey, Margaret, do you know
446
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,841
where Helen's
wedding dress is?
447
00:20:51,841 --> 00:20:55,216
She looked like a vagabond whore
in that dress. Why?
448
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:56,925
[Whitney] Okay,
let's just check the attic.
449
00:20:58,216 --> 00:21:00,341
♪ contemplative guitar music ♪
450
00:21:00,341 --> 00:21:02,341
♪♪♪
451
00:21:02,341 --> 00:21:04,591
[line ringing]
452
00:21:25,549 --> 00:21:26,800
[sighs]
453
00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:29,299
Sorry, I need a minute.
454
00:21:34,841 --> 00:21:36,591
What's wrong?
455
00:21:36,591 --> 00:21:38,883
♪ slow, somber music ♪
456
00:21:38,883 --> 00:21:40,883
♪♪♪
457
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,675
You hate it?
458
00:21:42,675 --> 00:21:45,091
-You hate it, right?
-[quietly] No.
459
00:21:45,091 --> 00:21:46,841
Don't worry, don't worry.
We'll get another one.
460
00:21:46,841 --> 00:21:47,883
It's not the dress.
I love the dress.
461
00:21:47,883 --> 00:21:49,758
What is it?
462
00:21:49,758 --> 00:21:51,007
This wedding is gonna be
463
00:21:51,007 --> 00:21:52,383
-a fucking disaster.
-What?
464
00:21:52,383 --> 00:21:54,424
No, it's not. Come on,
we're pulling it together.
465
00:21:54,424 --> 00:21:55,966
We got a tent,
we got the plates,
466
00:21:55,966 --> 00:21:56,925
now we got a dress.
467
00:21:56,925 --> 00:21:57,966
That's not what I mean.
468
00:21:57,966 --> 00:21:59,341
Then what is it?
469
00:22:01,675 --> 00:22:03,800
[sniffles]
470
00:22:07,132 --> 00:22:09,466
I cheated on Colin.
471
00:22:13,591 --> 00:22:15,174
[sighs]
Okay.
472
00:22:15,174 --> 00:22:17,049
Okay? That's what
you have to say to me?
473
00:22:17,049 --> 00:22:20,216
-No, no.
-God, why am I not surprised?
474
00:22:20,216 --> 00:22:22,049
When did this happen? Recently?
475
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:24,299
Yeah.
[sniffles]
476
00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:25,841
After you got engaged?
477
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,049
Yeah.
478
00:22:29,341 --> 00:22:32,508
And I have to tell him, right?
479
00:22:35,508 --> 00:22:39,716
Uh... uh, not necessarily.
480
00:22:39,716 --> 00:22:44,007
I mean... did you want
to be with this other guy?
481
00:22:44,007 --> 00:22:46,716
No. God, no.
482
00:22:46,716 --> 00:22:49,466
Well, is there any other way
that Colin might find out?
483
00:22:49,466 --> 00:22:52,049
I mean, is it someone
who's around a lot, do you have
484
00:22:52,049 --> 00:22:55,299
-friends in common?
-No. Why?
485
00:22:56,966 --> 00:22:59,383
Because, in that case,
telling Colin might just
486
00:22:59,383 --> 00:23:01,049
hurt him unnecessarily.
487
00:23:01,049 --> 00:23:04,007
And end your relationship.
488
00:23:04,007 --> 00:23:05,383
I mean, unless...
489
00:23:05,383 --> 00:23:07,132
-What?
-Well, unless
490
00:23:07,132 --> 00:23:09,257
that's what you were
trying to do.
491
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:11,424
-[scoffs]
-I...
492
00:23:13,383 --> 00:23:18,508
I don't know.
Uh... maybe.
493
00:23:19,675 --> 00:23:22,966
-[sighs]
-Whitney?
494
00:23:22,966 --> 00:23:25,508
Do you want
to marry Colin?
495
00:23:25,508 --> 00:23:28,091
If you're asking if he's
the only person I'll ever love,
496
00:23:28,091 --> 00:23:29,508
I... I have no
fucking idea.
497
00:23:29,508 --> 00:23:31,049
How am I supposed
to know that?
498
00:23:31,049 --> 00:23:33,132
Look, I don't think
anybody knows that.
499
00:23:33,132 --> 00:23:34,758
Yes, they do.
Some people do.
500
00:23:34,758 --> 00:23:35,925
-Colin does.
-Now, you don't know that.
501
00:23:35,925 --> 00:23:37,716
You're not in his head.
502
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,341
For all you know, he's...
he's having major doubts, too.
503
00:23:40,341 --> 00:23:42,007
-Wow.
-No... not about you,
504
00:23:42,007 --> 00:23:44,091
about marriage.
505
00:23:44,091 --> 00:23:46,716
When I got married,
I thought that if you,
506
00:23:46,716 --> 00:23:48,716
if you, if you chose
the right person,
507
00:23:48,716 --> 00:23:50,299
then you'd be happy forever,
and if you were unhappy,
508
00:23:50,299 --> 00:23:51,633
then they were the wrong person.
509
00:23:51,633 --> 00:23:53,633
But that's just not
how it works.
510
00:23:53,633 --> 00:23:55,174
-It's not?
-No. No.
511
00:23:55,174 --> 00:23:57,508
Marriage is...
it's not magic, it's,
512
00:23:57,508 --> 00:23:58,966
it's just a decision
that you have to make.
513
00:23:58,966 --> 00:24:02,383
And keep on making,
over and over, to stay.
514
00:24:03,341 --> 00:24:04,424
Whitney,
515
00:24:04,424 --> 00:24:05,716
deciding you're not ready
516
00:24:05,716 --> 00:24:07,132
doesn't mean
you're a bad person.
517
00:24:07,132 --> 00:24:08,466
It means you know yourself
518
00:24:08,466 --> 00:24:10,591
much better than I knew
when I was your age.
519
00:24:12,383 --> 00:24:14,675
No, I'm not hurting Colin.
I'm not doing it.
520
00:24:14,675 --> 00:24:16,549
-He's my best friend.
-He'll be okay.
521
00:24:16,549 --> 00:24:19,174
He, he... he'll survive.
522
00:24:19,174 --> 00:24:21,091
You hurt Mom so badly.
523
00:24:21,091 --> 00:24:23,549
[exhales]
524
00:24:23,549 --> 00:24:26,466
Yeah, but that was...
525
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,716
that was different.
We had four kids.
526
00:24:28,716 --> 00:24:31,966
I don't want to ever hurt anyone
the way you hurt her.
527
00:24:31,966 --> 00:24:33,508
Right.
528
00:24:33,508 --> 00:24:35,174
Why did you do it?
529
00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:37,633
If marriage is a choice,
if you can decide to stay,
530
00:24:37,633 --> 00:24:39,132
why did you go?
531
00:24:43,216 --> 00:24:45,424
I don't know how to answer that.
532
00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:48,174
Was it Alison?
533
00:24:48,174 --> 00:24:50,383
Did you just love her
more than you loved us?
534
00:24:50,383 --> 00:24:51,508
No.
535
00:24:51,508 --> 00:24:53,007
What was it, then?
536
00:24:57,257 --> 00:24:58,675
I don't know.
537
00:24:58,675 --> 00:25:00,049
See, the thing
that I don't get is,
538
00:25:00,049 --> 00:25:01,925
you were a good dad.
539
00:25:01,925 --> 00:25:05,257
And Mom was a great mom,
and-and we were happy.
540
00:25:05,257 --> 00:25:07,007
Or at least
I thought we were.
541
00:25:07,007 --> 00:25:08,591
And then...
542
00:25:11,508 --> 00:25:13,716
I guess I just worry that,
543
00:25:13,716 --> 00:25:15,424
if that wasn't real
544
00:25:15,424 --> 00:25:16,883
and if that wasn't good,
545
00:25:16,883 --> 00:25:21,299
then... then maybe nothing is.
546
00:25:21,299 --> 00:25:24,007
Whitney, look,
I fucked up.
547
00:25:24,007 --> 00:25:25,675
I...
548
00:25:29,007 --> 00:25:31,383
I was thinking about myself,
and I fucked up.
549
00:25:35,675 --> 00:25:39,049
Which is why I want you
to give yourself the time
550
00:25:39,049 --> 00:25:40,508
to make the right decision.
551
00:25:43,257 --> 00:25:46,549
I love you, Whit.
I just want you to be happy.
552
00:25:47,716 --> 00:25:50,716
I love you, too.
553
00:25:50,716 --> 00:25:53,675
Come on.
[sniffles]
554
00:25:59,675 --> 00:26:02,591
I got to change
out of this dress.
555
00:26:04,424 --> 00:26:06,091
[sniffles]
556
00:26:10,758 --> 00:26:13,424
[door opens]
557
00:26:13,424 --> 00:26:15,341
-[door closes]
-Oh, fuck.
558
00:26:23,633 --> 00:26:25,758
[phone ringing]
559
00:26:28,925 --> 00:26:32,007
Hello?
560
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:35,633
[Petra] Noah, hi. This isPetra Ranes fromVanity Fair.
561
00:26:35,633 --> 00:26:38,174
Oh, hi, Petra.
It's been a while.
562
00:26:38,174 --> 00:26:39,716
-How are you?
-I'm good.
563
00:26:39,716 --> 00:26:42,091
And the piece is really
coming together.
564
00:26:42,091 --> 00:26:43,966
-Great.
-I'm just doing a last
565
00:26:43,966 --> 00:26:46,174
little bit of fact-checking,
if you have a second.
566
00:26:46,174 --> 00:26:48,174
-Sure.
-Great.
567
00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:51,091
So, do you happen to know
a woman named Eden Bishop?
568
00:26:52,383 --> 00:26:55,257
Uh... no, I don't think so.
569
00:26:55,257 --> 00:26:56,633
That's her married name.
570
00:26:56,633 --> 00:26:59,466
Maybe you know her
as Ellery? Eden Ellery?
571
00:26:59,466 --> 00:27:01,341
Oh, yeah, yeah, she was,
uh, she was my publicist
572
00:27:01,341 --> 00:27:03,758
on the book tour for Descent.
573
00:27:03,758 --> 00:27:05,383
That's what she said, too.
574
00:27:06,383 --> 00:27:08,299
Okay?
575
00:27:08,299 --> 00:27:09,841
Did you two have
a relationship?
576
00:27:09,841 --> 00:27:13,049
Beyond the professional?
577
00:27:13,049 --> 00:27:14,883
Me and Eden?
578
00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:16,675
She claims you pressured her
into sleeping with you
579
00:27:16,675 --> 00:27:18,174
on the book tour.
580
00:27:18,174 --> 00:27:19,966
Does that match
your recollection?
581
00:27:25,299 --> 00:27:26,591
Sorry, wh-what did you say?
582
00:27:26,591 --> 00:27:28,675
The reception here is terrible.
583
00:27:28,675 --> 00:27:30,508
Eden claims you coerced her
into having sex
584
00:27:30,508 --> 00:27:32,424
while on
the book tour together.
585
00:27:32,424 --> 00:27:34,966
I'm asking if you remember
something like that happening
586
00:27:34,966 --> 00:27:36,841
between you and her
during that time.
587
00:27:38,383 --> 00:27:40,841
No. Absolutely not.
588
00:27:40,841 --> 00:27:42,049
Are you sure?
589
00:27:42,049 --> 00:27:45,007
This is fucking shit!
What? No!
590
00:27:45,007 --> 00:27:46,216
So that's not your memory?
591
00:27:46,216 --> 00:27:49,049
-No!
-Okay. That's it, then.
592
00:27:49,049 --> 00:27:51,800
I just needed a comment.
Thanks for your time.
593
00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,341
[line beeps off]
594
00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:56,049
[sighs]
595
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:58,216
What...?
596
00:28:00,299 --> 00:28:02,383
Oh, fuck.
597
00:28:08,549 --> 00:28:10,633
♪ intense, suspenseful music ♪
598
00:28:10,633 --> 00:28:12,716
♪♪♪
599
00:28:34,549 --> 00:28:37,007
[knocking]
600
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:40,091
[doorbell ringing]
601
00:28:53,925 --> 00:28:55,675
[engine stops]
602
00:28:55,675 --> 00:28:57,758
♪ pulsing, suspenseful music ♪
603
00:28:57,758 --> 00:28:59,883
♪♪♪
604
00:29:07,758 --> 00:29:09,925
[indistinct chatter]
605
00:29:32,591 --> 00:29:34,466
Yes?
606
00:29:34,466 --> 00:29:38,716
Hi, I'm looking
for Benjamin Cruz.
607
00:29:44,174 --> 00:29:46,424
I'm Ben Cruz.
608
00:29:46,424 --> 00:29:47,800
Can I help you?
609
00:29:49,841 --> 00:29:53,216
I just wanted to ask
about your clinic.
610
00:29:53,216 --> 00:29:58,132
I... I need help.
611
00:29:58,132 --> 00:30:00,216
I think I have PTSD.
612
00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:04,007
Ah.
613
00:30:04,007 --> 00:30:05,800
What's your name?
614
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,091
Gabrielle.
615
00:30:11,341 --> 00:30:13,508
Very nice to meet you.
616
00:30:13,508 --> 00:30:15,466
Come on inside.
617
00:30:22,341 --> 00:30:24,925
[Ben]
Danny, Isla, meet Gabrielle.
618
00:30:24,925 --> 00:30:27,007
She's here to learn
about our community.
619
00:30:27,007 --> 00:30:28,841
-Hey there.
-Hey.
620
00:30:30,257 --> 00:30:31,424
Hi.
621
00:30:31,424 --> 00:30:34,007
I thought I was the only one
622
00:30:34,007 --> 00:30:36,758
who read real books
anymore.
623
00:30:40,966 --> 00:30:42,966
[Ben]
How about I give you a tour?
624
00:30:47,716 --> 00:30:50,675
I believe
in the healing power
625
00:30:50,675 --> 00:30:53,883
of fresh air
and tilling the land.
626
00:30:53,883 --> 00:30:57,216
Everything here has been
designed to be self-sustaining.
627
00:30:57,216 --> 00:31:00,549
My patients
get free lodging
628
00:31:00,549 --> 00:31:04,383
in return for their time
in the garden.
629
00:31:04,383 --> 00:31:07,132
So, a-are you
a veteran, Gabrielle?
630
00:31:07,132 --> 00:31:10,257
Um, no, I'm not.
631
00:31:10,257 --> 00:31:12,675
How did you
find us, then?
632
00:31:12,675 --> 00:31:14,883
Recommendation.
633
00:31:17,591 --> 00:31:21,383
I only ask because we
mostly service ex-military.
634
00:31:21,383 --> 00:31:23,800
When I was a young vet,
I started
635
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,508
my post-service career
at the VA,
636
00:31:26,508 --> 00:31:28,549
during what I thought
was a really exciting time
637
00:31:28,549 --> 00:31:30,466
for PTSD therapy.
638
00:31:30,466 --> 00:31:33,591
Newer, integrative
psychotherapeutic approaches
639
00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:36,675
like exposure therapy,
EMDR.
640
00:31:36,675 --> 00:31:39,091
They all seemed
to be taking root
641
00:31:39,091 --> 00:31:41,591
in the mainstream community,
642
00:31:41,591 --> 00:31:45,049
but then, of course,
they were obliterated
643
00:31:45,049 --> 00:31:47,800
as soon as the government
deregulated
644
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,508
psychopharmaceutical
drugs.
645
00:31:49,508 --> 00:31:51,466
If vets want
alternative therapies,
646
00:31:51,466 --> 00:31:54,049
they have to seek them
under the table,
647
00:31:54,049 --> 00:31:58,007
pay out of pocket,
get treatments in secret.
648
00:31:58,007 --> 00:32:00,925
If the VA finds out,
people lose their health care.
649
00:32:02,675 --> 00:32:04,424
Anyway,
650
00:32:04,424 --> 00:32:08,466
that's why I have to be
extra careful
651
00:32:08,466 --> 00:32:10,299
when people
knock on my door.
652
00:32:10,299 --> 00:32:13,966
Well, you weren't that careful.
You kind of just let me in.
653
00:32:16,216 --> 00:32:18,049
True.
654
00:32:19,132 --> 00:32:22,049
But you have
an honest face.
655
00:32:22,049 --> 00:32:23,591
[chuckles]
656
00:32:23,591 --> 00:32:25,800
We grow all our own food.
657
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:28,091
There's something so
658
00:32:28,091 --> 00:32:29,883
satisfying about putting
your hands in the dirt,
659
00:32:29,883 --> 00:32:33,925
turning the soil,
caring for the space,
660
00:32:33,925 --> 00:32:38,049
and then watch it
as it bears fruit.
661
00:32:38,049 --> 00:32:40,424
Here,
662
00:32:40,424 --> 00:32:43,549
the land that we've
taken care of
663
00:32:43,549 --> 00:32:45,966
then turns around
and cares for us.
664
00:32:45,966 --> 00:32:49,091
I firmly believe,
665
00:32:49,091 --> 00:32:52,508
if we can remember
how to care for a garden,
666
00:32:52,508 --> 00:32:56,341
we can remember
how to care for each other.
667
00:32:59,299 --> 00:33:01,341
[grunts]
668
00:33:03,424 --> 00:33:04,758
[groans]
669
00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,841
Thank you.
670
00:33:09,883 --> 00:33:12,883
Let's head back inside.
671
00:33:12,883 --> 00:33:15,257
Get to know each other
a bit better.
672
00:33:20,174 --> 00:33:21,841
So...
673
00:33:21,841 --> 00:33:24,049
Gabrielle.
674
00:33:24,049 --> 00:33:26,174
That's a beautiful name,
by the way.
675
00:33:26,174 --> 00:33:27,549
Thank you.
676
00:33:27,549 --> 00:33:30,675
Is it a family name?
677
00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,549
Yes.
678
00:33:32,549 --> 00:33:34,758
[chuckles]
679
00:33:34,758 --> 00:33:36,549
So tell me,
680
00:33:36,549 --> 00:33:38,716
how can I help you?
681
00:33:42,966 --> 00:33:45,758
I think I suffer from PTSD.
682
00:33:45,758 --> 00:33:49,800
Okay.
How does that manifest?
683
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,549
[inhales]
684
00:33:51,549 --> 00:33:55,049
I can't connect with people.
I think I'm incapable of love.
685
00:33:55,049 --> 00:33:58,716
Well, sometimes such feelings
are connected
686
00:33:58,716 --> 00:34:03,049
to a significant loss or trauma
687
00:34:03,049 --> 00:34:05,174
at an early age.
688
00:34:06,383 --> 00:34:09,091
Does that resonate with you?
689
00:34:09,091 --> 00:34:11,466
No.
690
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:14,049
Hmm.
691
00:34:14,049 --> 00:34:16,925
Are you familiar with EMDR?
692
00:34:16,925 --> 00:34:19,007
No.
693
00:34:19,007 --> 00:34:21,091
It's an old form
of therapy.
694
00:34:21,091 --> 00:34:24,925
Nobody really understands
why it works or how,
695
00:34:24,925 --> 00:34:27,299
but it does.
696
00:34:27,299 --> 00:34:29,508
There's something
almost magical about it.
697
00:34:29,508 --> 00:34:30,633
[scoffs]
698
00:34:30,633 --> 00:34:33,257
Mm. You don't believe in magic?
699
00:34:33,257 --> 00:34:34,800
No.
700
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:39,216
Maybe that's why
you have such...
701
00:34:39,216 --> 00:34:41,091
trouble with love.
702
00:34:43,591 --> 00:34:47,091
Would you like to try EMDR?
703
00:34:47,091 --> 00:34:49,966
J-Just to see if we can get
a little closer
704
00:34:49,966 --> 00:34:54,257
to understanding why you came.
705
00:34:57,675 --> 00:35:00,591
Sure. Why not?
706
00:35:00,591 --> 00:35:02,716
Excellent.
707
00:35:02,716 --> 00:35:06,549
I record all my sessions.
Do you mind?
708
00:35:06,549 --> 00:35:08,591
[device beeps]
709
00:35:08,591 --> 00:35:10,883
And this is just
710
00:35:10,883 --> 00:35:13,549
our standard
release form.
711
00:35:16,383 --> 00:35:17,466
It's on paper.
712
00:35:17,466 --> 00:35:19,800
[chuckles]
I know. What can I say?
713
00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,758
I am nostalgic
for the analog world.
714
00:35:22,758 --> 00:35:25,132
I suspect you are, too.
715
00:35:26,966 --> 00:35:29,966
Well, take a moment,
read it through.
716
00:35:29,966 --> 00:35:31,091
-[pen clicks]
-What's the date?
717
00:35:31,091 --> 00:35:32,716
Oh, don't worry about that.
718
00:35:32,716 --> 00:35:34,257
I just need your signature.
719
00:35:36,925 --> 00:35:40,716
Okay. Thank you.
720
00:35:40,716 --> 00:35:42,174
So...
721
00:35:42,174 --> 00:35:45,174
the way EMDR works.
722
00:35:46,466 --> 00:35:50,675
We pick one specific
traumatic event
723
00:35:50,675 --> 00:35:53,299
and then we basically
rewrite the script
724
00:35:53,299 --> 00:35:56,675
so it doesn't trigger
the same debilitating response.
725
00:35:56,675 --> 00:35:58,966
Does that make sense?
Good.
726
00:35:58,966 --> 00:36:03,549
We can start
on any memory, really.
727
00:36:03,549 --> 00:36:06,841
Is there a moment, a...
728
00:36:06,841 --> 00:36:10,007
a night where you
remember this,
729
00:36:10,007 --> 00:36:12,966
as you say,
"inability to love"
730
00:36:12,966 --> 00:36:16,007
really manifesting itself,
731
00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:18,383
impeding your life
in some way?
732
00:36:20,883 --> 00:36:22,675
I...
733
00:36:24,424 --> 00:36:28,257
I had a fight
with my boyfriend recently.
734
00:36:28,257 --> 00:36:30,633
Excellent.
735
00:36:30,633 --> 00:36:34,716
That is the perfect thing
to unpack with this therapy.
736
00:36:34,716 --> 00:36:36,174
Let's start there.
737
00:36:36,174 --> 00:36:40,591
Can you please, um,
move your chair
738
00:36:40,591 --> 00:36:42,883
to face me.
739
00:36:42,883 --> 00:36:45,591
♪ tense music ♪
740
00:36:45,591 --> 00:36:47,383
Good.
741
00:36:50,549 --> 00:36:54,883
No, see, you need to be
a little closer.
742
00:36:54,883 --> 00:36:57,716
[grunts]
There you go.
743
00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,508
Okay, to begin,
744
00:36:59,508 --> 00:37:03,007
just follow my fingers
with your eyes.
745
00:37:07,049 --> 00:37:09,591
-Th-That makes me dizzy.
-Okay.
746
00:37:09,591 --> 00:37:14,341
Let's switch
to something else.
747
00:37:15,257 --> 00:37:17,424
Your palms up.
748
00:37:17,424 --> 00:37:19,257
There you go.
749
00:37:22,383 --> 00:37:26,966
Close your eyes
and take a deep breath.
750
00:37:26,966 --> 00:37:28,424
[inhales]
751
00:37:28,424 --> 00:37:31,216
[exhales]
752
00:37:31,216 --> 00:37:33,925
Now think back
to the night of the fight.
753
00:37:33,925 --> 00:37:37,508
What do you notice?
754
00:37:37,508 --> 00:37:38,841
Where are you?
755
00:37:38,841 --> 00:37:41,091
[inhales, exhales]
756
00:37:41,091 --> 00:37:43,007
I'm in my apartment.
757
00:37:43,007 --> 00:37:46,383
-Where is that?
-Montauk.
758
00:37:47,424 --> 00:37:49,549
How about your boyfriend,
is he there?
759
00:37:49,549 --> 00:37:51,883
He's on his way.
760
00:37:51,883 --> 00:37:54,091
How do you feel?
761
00:37:54,091 --> 00:37:56,341
Scared.
762
00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:58,925
Good. Go with that.
763
00:37:58,925 --> 00:38:00,841
[inhales, exhales]
764
00:38:00,841 --> 00:38:03,925
Same as before.
765
00:38:03,925 --> 00:38:08,466
Tell me...
what do you notice?
766
00:38:08,466 --> 00:38:12,800
My apartment is warm, cozy.
767
00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:15,299
There's a fire in the fireplace.
768
00:38:15,299 --> 00:38:18,216
My daughter's
drawings
769
00:38:18,216 --> 00:38:21,216
are on the
refrigerator.
770
00:38:21,216 --> 00:38:24,466
It's raining outside.
771
00:38:24,466 --> 00:38:28,925
Pouring, actually.
There's a storm, a... a bad one.
772
00:38:28,925 --> 00:38:30,883
The windows are rattling.
773
00:38:30,883 --> 00:38:33,007
Good. Go with that.
774
00:38:33,007 --> 00:38:36,216
Now what do you
see happening?
775
00:38:36,216 --> 00:38:38,508
My boyfriend arrives.
776
00:38:38,508 --> 00:38:41,549
He's soaking wet.
He dries himself by the fire.
777
00:38:41,549 --> 00:38:43,174
How's he dressed?
778
00:38:43,174 --> 00:38:46,132
Jeans and a military jacket.
779
00:38:46,132 --> 00:38:49,007
He's a veteran.
780
00:38:49,007 --> 00:38:50,758
Good.
781
00:38:50,758 --> 00:38:53,966
Close your eyes.
782
00:38:53,966 --> 00:38:56,925
Notice what he says
783
00:38:56,925 --> 00:38:58,383
and go with that.
784
00:38:58,383 --> 00:39:01,675
-He's angry.
-Why is he angry?
785
00:39:01,675 --> 00:39:04,216
Because he's married,
786
00:39:04,216 --> 00:39:08,132
and I want him
to leave his wife.
787
00:39:08,132 --> 00:39:09,966
We have a fight.
788
00:39:09,966 --> 00:39:12,800
I tell him that if he doesn't
leave her, I will kill myself.
789
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,424
Keep going.
790
00:39:14,424 --> 00:39:16,841
He tells me that
I'm ugly and stupid
791
00:39:16,841 --> 00:39:18,716
and that nobody
will ever love me,
792
00:39:18,716 --> 00:39:21,549
and that the best I could hope
for is to be someone's slut.
793
00:39:21,549 --> 00:39:23,675
Okay. That's enough.
794
00:39:25,549 --> 00:39:28,466
EMDR doesn't work
if you're lying.
795
00:39:41,132 --> 00:39:44,216
I never said those things.
796
00:39:44,216 --> 00:39:46,549
I respected your mother greatly.
797
00:39:48,049 --> 00:39:51,049
I would never have
spoken that way to her.
798
00:39:59,883 --> 00:40:02,257
[sighs]
799
00:40:04,424 --> 00:40:06,091
Hello, Joanie.
800
00:40:06,091 --> 00:40:08,549
Hello, Ben.
801
00:40:10,091 --> 00:40:13,508
I'm so glad
you are finally here.
802
00:40:17,132 --> 00:40:21,091
Why don't we start again
with the same question?
803
00:40:21,091 --> 00:40:22,675
How can I help you?
804
00:40:27,132 --> 00:40:29,716
Did you kill my mother?
805
00:40:34,758 --> 00:40:36,508
Yes.
806
00:40:36,508 --> 00:40:38,132
I did.
807
00:40:42,132 --> 00:40:44,216
[exhales]
808
00:40:44,216 --> 00:40:46,174
[sighs]
809
00:40:46,174 --> 00:40:50,174
I can only imagine
what you think of me right now.
810
00:40:50,174 --> 00:40:52,883
It's all so new for you.
811
00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:54,549
[sighs]
812
00:40:54,549 --> 00:40:57,800
The truth is, I've been
thinking about you for years.
813
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:02,174
I've tried to imagine where
you've been living your life
814
00:41:02,174 --> 00:41:03,800
and-and how.
815
00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:08,132
I've awaited our reunion
with great anticipation.
816
00:41:12,257 --> 00:41:16,633
Is there anything else
you want to ask me?
817
00:41:16,633 --> 00:41:19,341
Anything at all?
818
00:41:19,341 --> 00:41:23,841
Go back behind your desk.
I need a barrier between us.
819
00:41:23,841 --> 00:41:25,675
Of course.
820
00:41:31,091 --> 00:41:33,257
[sighs]
821
00:41:33,257 --> 00:41:36,174
I-I want to be held
accountable, Joanie.
822
00:41:36,174 --> 00:41:37,841
I've always known
I would eventually
823
00:41:37,841 --> 00:41:40,716
have to answer for what I did.
824
00:41:40,716 --> 00:41:44,341
I welcome the opportunity.
825
00:41:48,591 --> 00:41:51,841
I know this might be hard
for you to believe,
826
00:41:51,841 --> 00:41:56,883
but I think of your mother
every day.
827
00:41:56,883 --> 00:42:00,383
Every minute, in fact.
828
00:42:00,383 --> 00:42:03,883
She is constantly with me,
829
00:42:03,883 --> 00:42:07,424
and...
[sighs]
830
00:42:07,424 --> 00:42:09,675
I hate myself for what I did.
831
00:42:09,675 --> 00:42:11,841
Okay. So why did you do it?
832
00:42:13,966 --> 00:42:16,091
I had a psychotic break.
833
00:42:16,091 --> 00:42:17,257
What?
834
00:42:17,257 --> 00:42:20,216
When I met your mother...
[sighs]
835
00:42:20,216 --> 00:42:22,716
the doctors at the VA
had me on a lot of drugs.
836
00:42:22,716 --> 00:42:24,925
Antidepressants, MDMA,
837
00:42:24,925 --> 00:42:27,257
antipsychotics.
838
00:42:27,257 --> 00:42:29,883
I was losing my mind.
839
00:42:29,883 --> 00:42:33,925
I couldn't sleep.
Uh, I-I-I was paranoid.
840
00:42:33,925 --> 00:42:35,675
I started hearing voices.
841
00:42:35,675 --> 00:42:38,508
I didn't tell anyone,
of course, because...
842
00:42:38,508 --> 00:42:42,549
I, I was afraid
they'd lock me up for good.
843
00:42:42,549 --> 00:42:46,633
That night...
I became a monster,
844
00:42:46,633 --> 00:42:49,091
uh, completely out of control.
845
00:42:51,216 --> 00:42:52,591
What did you do to her?
846
00:42:52,591 --> 00:42:54,966
Well, we had an argument
847
00:42:54,966 --> 00:42:58,007
in her apartment,
as you guessed.
848
00:42:58,007 --> 00:42:59,383
About what?
849
00:42:59,383 --> 00:43:02,132
The fact that I was married.
850
00:43:02,132 --> 00:43:04,841
So I was right.
851
00:43:04,841 --> 00:43:06,341
Yes.
852
00:43:06,341 --> 00:43:10,341
But she told me to leave.
853
00:43:12,883 --> 00:43:16,841
It was me
who was begging to stay.
854
00:43:16,841 --> 00:43:17,966
Why?
855
00:43:20,049 --> 00:43:22,383
Have you ever met someone
856
00:43:22,383 --> 00:43:25,633
who-who looked at you,
857
00:43:25,633 --> 00:43:26,800
all of you,
858
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,174
even the savage parts,
859
00:43:29,174 --> 00:43:31,758
and they didn't flinch?
860
00:43:33,007 --> 00:43:34,800
No.
861
00:43:34,800 --> 00:43:36,841
I thought she was gonna
be the one to bring me back,
862
00:43:36,841 --> 00:43:40,466
restore me to the man I was
before I went to war.
863
00:43:40,466 --> 00:43:41,966
That night
864
00:43:41,966 --> 00:43:45,716
we tried to make love...
865
00:43:46,966 --> 00:43:49,132
...and...
866
00:43:49,132 --> 00:43:51,299
I found that I couldn't.
867
00:43:51,299 --> 00:43:54,466
For years
after Afghanistan,
868
00:43:54,466 --> 00:43:58,216
I had thought
the problem was my wife.
869
00:43:58,216 --> 00:44:00,341
But then, all of a sudden,
it was clear.
870
00:44:01,591 --> 00:44:05,132
The problem had been me
all along.
871
00:44:05,132 --> 00:44:07,341
[sighs]
872
00:44:07,341 --> 00:44:09,966
My fate was sealed.
873
00:44:09,966 --> 00:44:13,966
I would never be the man
I was before the war.
874
00:44:13,966 --> 00:44:17,299
And I was never going
to be enough for Alison
875
00:44:17,299 --> 00:44:18,633
or any woman.
876
00:44:18,633 --> 00:44:20,424
So you killed her?
877
00:44:20,424 --> 00:44:22,841
[sighs]
878
00:44:22,841 --> 00:44:26,091
I never felt such rage.
879
00:44:26,091 --> 00:44:27,758
And because Alison
was in front of me,
880
00:44:27,758 --> 00:44:30,174
I-I directed it at her.
881
00:44:31,466 --> 00:44:34,216
She said she was leaving.
882
00:44:34,216 --> 00:44:36,716
She ran to the door.
883
00:44:36,716 --> 00:44:40,216
And I didn't want her to go,
so I grabbed her by the arm
884
00:44:40,216 --> 00:44:44,216
to try to bring her back,
885
00:44:44,216 --> 00:44:49,049
and I lost my grip,
and she fell, hard,
886
00:44:49,049 --> 00:44:51,716
against the bookshelf.
887
00:44:53,508 --> 00:44:57,216
Before I could reach her,
this statue, a heavy statue,
888
00:44:57,216 --> 00:45:00,800
it fell on her head.
889
00:45:02,675 --> 00:45:04,633
[voice breaking]
And she was gone.
890
00:45:07,341 --> 00:45:09,716
So... it was an accident?
891
00:45:09,716 --> 00:45:12,549
Yes, of course.
892
00:45:12,549 --> 00:45:15,675
I never wanted
to hurt your mother.
893
00:45:16,716 --> 00:45:18,841
[sobbing]
894
00:45:28,758 --> 00:45:32,633
I have... I have tried...
895
00:45:32,633 --> 00:45:36,049
to find a way to make
what I did bearable.
896
00:45:36,049 --> 00:45:40,424
I have dedicated
the last 30 years of my life
897
00:45:40,424 --> 00:45:44,758
creating this place:
a safe haven for veterans.
898
00:45:47,508 --> 00:45:52,341
So nobody again
will ever lose control
899
00:45:52,341 --> 00:45:54,508
the way I did.
900
00:45:54,508 --> 00:45:57,883
Hurt someone the way
I hurt your mother.
901
00:45:57,883 --> 00:46:01,341
You didn't just hurt her.
902
00:46:01,341 --> 00:46:04,091
You killed her.
903
00:46:04,091 --> 00:46:06,800
Yes, and I'm sorry,
Joanie.
904
00:46:08,633 --> 00:46:11,633
If you're so sorry, then why
didn't you turn yourself in?
905
00:46:11,633 --> 00:46:15,800
I-I don't know what good
it would have done.
906
00:46:19,132 --> 00:46:23,466
I-I-I could help more people...
907
00:46:23,466 --> 00:46:27,299
make more amends by being
of service to these men,
908
00:46:27,299 --> 00:46:30,341
rather than waste
the rest of my life
909
00:46:30,341 --> 00:46:33,091
rotting away
in some cell.
910
00:46:33,091 --> 00:46:35,758
Don't you think you should have
let a jury make that call?
911
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,132
Y-You know who I think
should make that call?
912
00:46:43,091 --> 00:46:44,091
You.
913
00:46:44,091 --> 00:46:46,758
Me?
914
00:46:47,883 --> 00:46:51,841
I promised myself
a long time ago, Joanie,
915
00:46:51,841 --> 00:46:54,591
that when you found me--
916
00:46:54,591 --> 00:46:59,299
and I knew it was a "when,"
not an "if"--
917
00:46:59,299 --> 00:47:00,925
that I would submit
918
00:47:00,925 --> 00:47:05,007
to whatever accountability
you demanded,
919
00:47:05,007 --> 00:47:08,174
and I-I-I would not resist.
920
00:47:09,174 --> 00:47:10,883
So...
921
00:47:10,883 --> 00:47:15,257
if you want to call
the police right now,
922
00:47:15,257 --> 00:47:16,966
I'll give you my phone.
923
00:47:19,549 --> 00:47:23,591
If you want to...
you want to kill me...
924
00:47:26,549 --> 00:47:28,216
...I'll give you my gun.
925
00:47:28,216 --> 00:47:30,883
I am completely in your hands.
926
00:47:38,549 --> 00:47:41,424
If I were going to kill you,
927
00:47:41,424 --> 00:47:44,633
I wouldn't use a gun.
928
00:47:44,633 --> 00:47:46,925
It's too quick.
929
00:47:46,925 --> 00:47:49,424
Okay.
930
00:47:49,424 --> 00:47:51,383
How would you do it?
931
00:47:51,383 --> 00:47:53,716
I'd like to cut off your dick
932
00:47:53,716 --> 00:47:58,633
and let you bleed out
like a pig until you die.
933
00:48:01,216 --> 00:48:05,800
Well... that's an option, too.
934
00:48:09,091 --> 00:48:11,132
I have to go.
I need to think.
935
00:48:11,132 --> 00:48:12,883
Okay, but, Joanie,
936
00:48:12,883 --> 00:48:15,257
you know where to find me now.
937
00:48:15,257 --> 00:48:17,383
And I'm not gonna run.
938
00:48:19,132 --> 00:48:23,174
I'll be right here
whenever you decide.
939
00:48:23,174 --> 00:48:24,883
I have to go.
940
00:48:34,424 --> 00:48:36,466
[EJ]
So, what are you gonna do?
941
00:48:36,466 --> 00:48:37,925
I don't know.
942
00:48:37,925 --> 00:48:41,174
-[pours drink]
-How about calling the police?
943
00:48:41,174 --> 00:48:43,049
I guess I should?
944
00:48:44,633 --> 00:48:45,966
This man murdered
your mother
945
00:48:45,966 --> 00:48:47,466
and then sat there
and gave you
946
00:48:47,466 --> 00:48:49,424
a detailed description
of how he did it.
947
00:48:49,424 --> 00:48:52,716
That's a special kind
of psychopath.
948
00:48:52,716 --> 00:48:55,508
He's a lot of things,
but I-I don't think
949
00:48:55,508 --> 00:48:56,966
he's a psychopath.
950
00:48:59,716 --> 00:49:01,132
What?
951
00:49:01,132 --> 00:49:05,675
He seemed sorry.
952
00:49:05,675 --> 00:49:09,383
Truly sorry.
953
00:49:09,383 --> 00:49:12,299
He spent his entire life
trying to make amends.
954
00:49:12,299 --> 00:49:14,633
Uh, Joanie, most murderers
are sorry for what they did.
955
00:49:14,633 --> 00:49:16,216
They still have to go to prison.
956
00:49:16,216 --> 00:49:18,007
He said I could kill him
if I liked.
957
00:49:18,007 --> 00:49:20,049
I think that would be a mistake.
958
00:49:20,049 --> 00:49:21,132
I wasn't being serious.
959
00:49:21,132 --> 00:49:22,216
-Yes, you were.
-No, I wasn't.
960
00:49:22,216 --> 00:49:23,299
I think you were.
961
00:49:23,299 --> 00:49:26,216
-EJ.
-Joanie, listen to me.
962
00:49:26,216 --> 00:49:27,800
This problem is
above your pay grade.
963
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,299
There are people
who specialize
964
00:49:29,299 --> 00:49:31,299
in crime and punishment
for a living.
965
00:49:31,299 --> 00:49:32,925
That's why they're called
the authorities.
966
00:49:32,925 --> 00:49:35,049
How about we let them
decide what to do
967
00:49:35,049 --> 00:49:37,424
before we take vengeance
into our own hands.
968
00:49:37,424 --> 00:49:41,174
Ben may be sorry, but he was
clearheaded enough at the time
969
00:49:41,174 --> 00:49:44,049
to use your mother's history
of mental illness against her
970
00:49:44,049 --> 00:49:46,341
and make everyone believe
she drowned herself.
971
00:49:51,216 --> 00:49:53,091
That's right.
972
00:49:54,591 --> 00:49:57,341
She drowned.
973
00:49:57,341 --> 00:50:00,007
They found water in her lungs.
974
00:50:06,716 --> 00:50:08,508
♪ atmospheric music ♪
975
00:50:08,508 --> 00:50:10,633
♪♪♪
976
00:50:31,424 --> 00:50:33,007
[Clark]
Benjamin Cruz?
977
00:50:33,007 --> 00:50:35,257
Can I help you?
978
00:50:35,257 --> 00:50:37,591
I'm Detective Clark,
this is Detective Woods.
979
00:50:37,591 --> 00:50:39,132
We'd like to ask you
a few questions
980
00:50:39,132 --> 00:50:40,633
pertaining to the death
of Alison Bailey.
981
00:50:40,633 --> 00:50:42,716
May we come in?
982
00:50:42,716 --> 00:50:45,132
I've made my decision.
983
00:50:47,049 --> 00:50:48,508
Where did you find her?
984
00:50:50,091 --> 00:50:52,341
She's one of the patients
from my facility.
985
00:50:52,341 --> 00:50:56,758
She went AWOL last night...
and we've been worried sick.
986
00:50:56,758 --> 00:50:59,341
What?
987
00:50:59,341 --> 00:51:01,174
This is her signature,
committing herself
988
00:51:01,174 --> 00:51:03,174
-to psychiatric care.
-What?
989
00:51:03,174 --> 00:51:05,925
[Ben] And this is my case study
for Joanie Lockhart.
990
00:51:05,925 --> 00:51:07,299
She was admitted
three weeks ago.
991
00:51:07,299 --> 00:51:08,466
That's not true.
None of this is true.
992
00:51:08,466 --> 00:51:10,383
Joanie suffers from severe
depression and PTSD.
993
00:51:10,383 --> 00:51:11,966
Her mother tragically
committed suicide
994
00:51:11,966 --> 00:51:15,174
when she was seven years old.
995
00:51:15,174 --> 00:51:17,424
And lately she's been
experiencing homicidal
996
00:51:17,424 --> 00:51:19,299
fantasies and delusions.
997
00:51:19,299 --> 00:51:21,007
-This is all horseshit.
-We have been exploring
998
00:51:21,007 --> 00:51:23,007
some of them in a safe,
therapeutic space,
999
00:51:23,007 --> 00:51:26,800
but, um, yesterday
she had a turn for the worse
1000
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:28,883
and she threatened my life.
1001
00:51:28,883 --> 00:51:31,466
[device chimes]
1002
00:51:31,466 --> 00:51:33,299
[Joanie over device]
I'd like to cut off your dick
1003
00:51:33,299 --> 00:51:36,841
and let you bleed out
like a pig until you die.
1004
00:51:36,841 --> 00:51:39,174
That is not what I said.
1005
00:51:39,174 --> 00:51:40,383
That isn't your voice
on the recording?
1006
00:51:40,383 --> 00:51:42,007
Of course it is, but it was
meant as a hypothetical,
1007
00:51:42,007 --> 00:51:44,257
like... if I wereto kill him.
1008
00:51:47,383 --> 00:51:51,049
He knew my mother. He isn't just
a random doctor I came to see.
1009
00:51:51,049 --> 00:51:53,549
He was dating her
when she died.
1010
00:51:53,549 --> 00:51:55,675
He told me that he set up
this whole clinic
1011
00:51:55,675 --> 00:51:58,424
because he felt like such a shit
for what he did 30 years ago.
1012
00:51:58,424 --> 00:52:00,841
Officers,
I have nothing to hide.
1013
00:52:00,841 --> 00:52:02,383
I was cleared of any wrongdoing
1014
00:52:02,383 --> 00:52:04,383
in Alison Bailey's death
years ago.
1015
00:52:04,383 --> 00:52:06,716
The police ruled it
as a suicide.
1016
00:52:06,716 --> 00:52:08,883
Joanie just can't accept it.
1017
00:52:08,883 --> 00:52:12,341
She needs someone to blame.
1018
00:52:12,341 --> 00:52:16,341
She herself has made
a series of suicide attempts,
1019
00:52:16,341 --> 00:52:19,841
as you can see referenced
on pages five and six.
1020
00:52:22,341 --> 00:52:24,341
[Clark] Ms. Lockhart,
what are you doing?
1021
00:52:24,341 --> 00:52:26,424
Where is it, Ben?
1022
00:52:26,424 --> 00:52:28,675
-Where's your fucking gun?
-There's no gun.
1023
00:52:28,675 --> 00:52:30,508
He said I could kill him with it
if I wanted to.
1024
00:52:30,508 --> 00:52:32,966
I don't have a gun, Joanie.
1025
00:52:32,966 --> 00:52:34,800
I run a
therapeutic center
1026
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,049
for PTSD recovery.
1027
00:52:37,049 --> 00:52:38,716
A gun would be
a very dangerous thing
1028
00:52:38,716 --> 00:52:41,341
to have on these premises,
wouldn't it?
1029
00:52:41,341 --> 00:52:44,174
[Woods] Ms. Lockhart,
is it true what he's saying?
1030
00:52:44,174 --> 00:52:45,883
Are you a patient
at this facility?
1031
00:52:45,883 --> 00:52:48,675
-No, of course not.
-[Clark] All right, but...
1032
00:52:48,675 --> 00:52:51,174
this is your signature
on this form?
1033
00:52:51,174 --> 00:52:54,049
I wasn't paying attention
to what I was signing.
1034
00:52:54,049 --> 00:52:56,174
So you didn't read
what the form said?
1035
00:52:56,174 --> 00:52:58,383
You aren't listening to me.
1036
00:52:58,383 --> 00:53:00,383
I'm telling the truth.
1037
00:53:00,383 --> 00:53:02,049
I'm not the crazy one.
1038
00:53:02,049 --> 00:53:04,299
-He is.
-Okay, well, why would you sign
1039
00:53:04,299 --> 00:53:05,716
something you didn't read,
ma'am?
1040
00:53:05,716 --> 00:53:06,925
Because I was too busy
thinking about
1041
00:53:06,925 --> 00:53:08,383
how I was gonna kill him.
1042
00:53:10,591 --> 00:53:12,633
Mr. Cruz, do you want us
1043
00:53:12,633 --> 00:53:14,424
to remove Ms. Lockhart
from the property?
1044
00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:16,466
That won't be necessary.
1045
00:53:16,466 --> 00:53:18,216
Are you sure, sir?
1046
00:53:18,216 --> 00:53:21,424
More than anything, right now,
she needs my support.
1047
00:53:21,424 --> 00:53:24,216
Sorry to have wasted
your time, Officers.
1048
00:53:24,216 --> 00:53:25,466
[Clark]
Okay.
1049
00:53:25,466 --> 00:53:27,216
[door opens]
1050
00:53:28,549 --> 00:53:31,508
[sighs]
1051
00:53:37,299 --> 00:53:40,633
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
1052
00:53:40,633 --> 00:53:43,925
You can't touch me now, Joanie.
1053
00:53:43,925 --> 00:53:47,091
Police are watching you now.
1054
00:53:47,091 --> 00:53:49,883
You'll go to prison
for the rest of your life.
1055
00:53:49,883 --> 00:53:52,341
Your kids will grow up
without a mother.
1056
00:53:52,341 --> 00:53:54,424
That's not
what you want, is it?
1057
00:53:54,424 --> 00:53:56,591
What do you know about my kids?
1058
00:53:56,591 --> 00:53:58,591
I meant what I said.
1059
00:53:58,591 --> 00:54:02,466
I thought about you over the
years, wondered how you were.
1060
00:54:02,466 --> 00:54:04,925
Were you watching me?
1061
00:54:04,925 --> 00:54:07,091
I looked you up online.
1062
00:54:07,091 --> 00:54:09,132
When did you know it was me?
1063
00:54:09,132 --> 00:54:11,925
When you took off
your sunglasses.
1064
00:54:11,925 --> 00:54:13,508
Why didn't you say
something then?
1065
00:54:13,508 --> 00:54:17,132
What was the point
of this whole exercise?
1066
00:54:17,132 --> 00:54:19,633
♪ slow, suspenseful music ♪
1067
00:54:19,633 --> 00:54:21,800
My mother was still breathing
1068
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:24,216
when her body
went into the water.
1069
00:54:24,216 --> 00:54:26,466
She didn't die in our apartment
like you said she did.
1070
00:54:26,466 --> 00:54:28,675
She had water in her lungs.
1071
00:54:28,675 --> 00:54:30,508
She fucking drowned.
1072
00:54:30,508 --> 00:54:32,216
Calm down.
1073
00:54:32,216 --> 00:54:34,383
Can I get you something?
A drink?
1074
00:54:34,383 --> 00:54:36,174
You wanted me
to call the police.
1075
00:54:36,174 --> 00:54:38,508
So you could show them
my signature
1076
00:54:38,508 --> 00:54:41,800
and play them the tape
and make me seem like a nutjob.
1077
00:54:41,800 --> 00:54:45,174
The one person left alive
who knows what you did.
1078
00:54:45,174 --> 00:54:47,508
You killed her, and then you
dumped her body in the water.
1079
00:54:47,508 --> 00:54:49,758
You made it look like a suicide.
You used her history
1080
00:54:49,758 --> 00:54:53,049
and you set her up just like you
set me up, didn't you?
1081
00:54:54,925 --> 00:54:56,091
Yes.
1082
00:54:56,091 --> 00:54:58,299
Why?
1083
00:54:58,299 --> 00:54:59,716
I didn't want to go to prison.
1084
00:54:59,716 --> 00:55:02,007
Oh, you're a killer.
You belong in prison.
1085
00:55:02,007 --> 00:55:04,758
Oh, thou shall not kill.
1086
00:55:04,758 --> 00:55:08,341
Well... except sometimes.
1087
00:55:08,341 --> 00:55:11,216
I killed people in Afghanistan,
plenty of them.
1088
00:55:11,216 --> 00:55:13,758
Some of them innocent civilians.
1089
00:55:16,091 --> 00:55:18,216
It wasn't a crime there.
1090
00:55:18,216 --> 00:55:19,466
Why should it be a crime here?
1091
00:55:20,675 --> 00:55:24,091
You took my mother from me.
1092
00:55:25,966 --> 00:55:28,424
I was a child.
1093
00:55:30,341 --> 00:55:32,466
You took her.
1094
00:55:37,549 --> 00:55:39,007
You know,
1095
00:55:39,007 --> 00:55:41,883
you are just so much like her.
1096
00:55:41,883 --> 00:55:43,841
When you showed
up at my door,
1097
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:48,049
you seemed so...
strong, so tough.
1098
00:55:49,216 --> 00:55:52,299
I should have known
it was a mask.
1099
00:55:52,299 --> 00:55:54,049
Just like hers.
1100
00:55:54,049 --> 00:55:56,216
You're just as sad
1101
00:55:56,216 --> 00:55:58,841
and as frightened as she was.
1102
00:55:58,841 --> 00:55:59,883
[shouts]
1103
00:56:01,716 --> 00:56:04,508
[gasping]
1104
00:56:16,883 --> 00:56:18,966
[strained]
Harder.
1105
00:56:18,966 --> 00:56:21,675
Harder.
1106
00:56:21,675 --> 00:56:23,508
Oh.
1107
00:56:26,341 --> 00:56:30,257
I understand
why you came here now.
1108
00:56:30,257 --> 00:56:33,341
It wasn't for Alison at all.
1109
00:56:34,841 --> 00:56:38,716
You just want someone
to put you out of your pain.
1110
00:56:42,758 --> 00:56:46,508
I'm not gonna do you that favor.
1111
00:56:46,508 --> 00:56:47,966
[gasps]
1112
00:56:47,966 --> 00:56:49,841
[coughing]
1113
00:56:53,216 --> 00:56:56,800
I'm sorry for your pain, Joanie.
1114
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,675
I really am.
1115
00:57:00,591 --> 00:57:03,925
But if I go away,
1116
00:57:03,925 --> 00:57:06,758
what happens to these patients?
1117
00:57:06,758 --> 00:57:08,800
They need me here.
1118
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:12,675
You are so full of shit,
and you know it.
1119
00:57:12,675 --> 00:57:15,549
I've paid for my sins.
1120
00:57:17,216 --> 00:57:20,007
I can live with myself.
1121
00:57:20,007 --> 00:57:22,049
♪ slow, somber music ♪
1122
00:57:22,049 --> 00:57:24,633
♪♪♪
1123
00:57:24,633 --> 00:57:27,883
You're the one, apparently,
1124
00:57:27,883 --> 00:57:29,966
who cannot.
1125
00:57:34,007 --> 00:57:36,049
♪ atmospheric music ♪
1126
00:57:36,049 --> 00:57:37,925
♪♪♪
75602
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