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1
00:00:11,340 --> 00:00:14,900
And they say married people
don't talk to each other. Heh!
2
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,726
How come you never married?
Mm? What do you mean, "never"?
3
00:00:20,166 --> 00:00:22,373
Still plenty of time.
4
00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:24,259
Waiting for a bargain, are you?
5
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:28,620
How are you today, Mr Newbold?
6
00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:33,093
How did you know that it was me,
damn it?
7
00:00:33,478 --> 00:00:36,212
I'm supposed to be
an anonymous figure.
8
00:00:36,300 --> 00:00:39,835
Oh! Trying to avoid Mrs
Featherstone, are we?
9
00:00:39,860 --> 00:00:43,499
Wouldn't you?
Well, yes, I would.
10
00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:46,100
Oh, there you are, Wilburn!
11
00:00:46,140 --> 00:00:51,419
How did you know I was here,
you tall, psychic person?
12
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:55,580
Hm. It could still be yours.
It's not too late.
13
00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:28,739
Mrs Avery, it's a little bit
early for a bubble bath!
14
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,380
What?
15
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,659
Hey, what did you say?
16
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,300
Mm? What? Look.
17
00:01:37,340 --> 00:01:39,540
Closer. You'll not be able to see.
18
00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:43,980
Yeah. Ooh, I can't see anything.
19
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:46,460
Just there.
You're having me on!
20
00:02:12,460 --> 00:02:15,260
Oh, I must get my eyes checked.
21
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,780
I can't see a thing in
these glasses.
22
00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:28,660
Yes, all right, all right. Very
funny.
23
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,740
Heh! I don't think.
24
00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:34,020
All right.
25
00:02:37,260 --> 00:02:38,620
Oh.
26
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:42,340
Hm.
27
00:02:45,980 --> 00:02:50,020
Yes, all right... Yes, all right,
I'm only borrowing it.
28
00:02:50,060 --> 00:02:52,860
You can have it back later. Right?
29
00:02:55,540 --> 00:02:57,260
And you. Huh.
30
00:02:58,980 --> 00:03:01,980
It is pitch-black out there.
31
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:04,700
You do realise we're becoming
creatures of the night?
32
00:03:04,740 --> 00:03:08,140
Ha-ha. Your mother was
a creature of the night.
33
00:03:08,180 --> 00:03:09,820
Usually one night.
34
00:03:10,936 --> 00:03:13,980
I don't believe a word
you say about her.
35
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,980
You don't believe a word I say
about anything.
36
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,580
Because you tell such stories!
37
00:03:19,620 --> 00:03:23,660
Think of it more
as shopkeepers' poetic licence.
38
00:03:25,060 --> 00:03:29,420
You told Cyril that the sacred food
of the ancient druids...
39
00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,140
...was Yorkshire pudding.
40
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,539
For which there is ample evidence.
41
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:37,420
Where?
42
00:03:37,460 --> 00:03:41,179
On their sacrificial altars.
43
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:43,220
The stains.
44
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:46,900
The Romans thought it were blood.
45
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:50,660
But modern science
has proved that it were gravy.
46
00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:56,500
Anyway, Cyril got a bargain.
47
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,460
Talking of bargains,
48
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,419
we've got a bargain coming from
Spain.
49
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,860
Oh, you never said.
50
00:04:03,900 --> 00:04:05,780
No, I know I didn't.
It's a surprise.
51
00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:07,540
I thought I'd keep it for you.
52
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:12,260
I bought a whole crate
of Spanish specialities.
53
00:04:14,140 --> 00:04:16,379
Cheap. Cheap? Mm.
54
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,380
That's your speciality.
55
00:04:18,420 --> 00:04:21,819
Probably be enough in there
to start our own tapas bar.
56
00:04:21,820 --> 00:04:24,899
Give me a hand.
Hey? Oh, right.
57
00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:26,700
Here you go.
58
00:04:26,740 --> 00:04:29,659
Thank you.
59
00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:33,219
Hey, I'm absolutely shattered.
60
00:04:33,220 --> 00:04:35,020
I've been at that Madge's all night.
61
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:41,180
You've been at Madge's? All night?
62
00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:43,579
I thought a couple of hours
would do it but,
63
00:04:43,580 --> 00:04:47,020
ho-ho, it were trickier than I
thought.
64
00:04:54,580 --> 00:04:55,940
Progress!
65
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:59,020
Progress at last!
66
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:02,660
Oh, you finally made it!
67
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:05,939
Hand in your overalls.
68
00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:08,740
Why did it take you so long?
69
00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:12,220
Well, I had to replace a few parts.
70
00:05:13,820 --> 00:05:15,580
What with?
71
00:05:15,620 --> 00:05:20,140
You...? You had some bits missing?
72
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:22,660
No, not missing, you know, just, um,
73
00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:25,299
clapped out.
74
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:27,499
I think we're at cross-purposes
here. Mm?
75
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,099
Gastric, what were you doing
at Madge's all night?
76
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,300
I were fixing her boiler.
77
00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:35,420
It were an emergency.
78
00:05:36,740 --> 00:05:39,860
She needs the hot water
for her business.
79
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:47,860
You do realise, don't you,
there is a law from 1482
80
00:05:47,900 --> 00:05:53,619
that states if a serf stays the
night with a lady,
81
00:05:53,620 --> 00:05:55,260
they have to get married?
82
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:03,780
Even if you had to nip back home
for your ratchet threader?
83
00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:06,460
No, no, no. I don't know...
I don't, I can't, I don't...
84
00:06:10,460 --> 00:06:13,819
This hot water comes to you
courtesy of Gastric.
85
00:06:13,820 --> 00:06:16,260
You treat him like your personal
servant.
86
00:06:16,300 --> 00:06:20,060
I spoil Gastric.
I feed him when he's here.
87
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,899
A sandwich in his dirty hand.
88
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:23,620
He can wash it if he wants.
89
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,340
But there's no hot water
90
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:28,859
because you only send for him
when there's no hot water.
91
00:06:28,860 --> 00:06:32,579
What's he going to do here
if there's nothing for him to
repair?
92
00:06:32,580 --> 00:06:35,659
Why don't you invite him socially
some time?
93
00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,739
Put a bit of make-up on,
94
00:06:37,740 --> 00:06:40,780
pretend you've got a softer side.
95
00:06:40,820 --> 00:06:43,620
We chat while he's working.
96
00:06:43,660 --> 00:06:46,660
What kind of romance is that?
97
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,300
They're never going to turn it
into a musical.
98
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:52,140
Who said anything about a romance?
99
00:06:52,180 --> 00:06:54,219
Can't stop. Just passing.
100
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:57,420
I hear Gastric was seen
vacating these premises
101
00:06:57,460 --> 00:06:59,460
at some unearthly hour.
102
00:07:00,620 --> 00:07:02,100
Now, don't spoil him.
103
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,980
We all need his
skills occasionally. Hm!
104
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:16,139
You won't remember Mrs Rossi,
will you?
105
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:18,019
She's a nice woman.
106
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:20,220
Perhaps a bit too nice.
107
00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:24,020
She's drawing Mr Newbold
away from the Black Widow.
108
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:26,540
You remember the Black Widow?
109
00:07:28,220 --> 00:07:30,140
Yes, that's the one. Hm-hm!
110
00:07:31,820 --> 00:07:35,020
Your surprise is here.
111
00:07:35,060 --> 00:07:36,820
A big box from Spain.
112
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:39,260
Heavy.
Yes, but cheap.
113
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:44,180
Oh. He taught me how to grab a
bargain. Didn't you, eh?
114
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,419
Castanets?
115
00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:01,940
You've bought a load
of clapped-out out castanets.
116
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:04,260
At a very good price.
117
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:08,100
Anyway, lift them up, lift it up.
118
00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,340
There, that's it.
119
00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,580
You see, there is... there's more.
120
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:24,380
A pantomime cow suit?
121
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,580
You've bought...
122
00:08:25,620 --> 00:08:27,420
He's bought a pantomime cow.
123
00:08:47,780 --> 00:08:50,980
Look after him.
I'll pick him up on the way back.
124
00:08:54,460 --> 00:08:55,939
How's it going, Willis?
125
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,340
Er...
126
00:08:58,380 --> 00:08:59,700
Great.
127
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:12,699
Can we ask why you've brought home
a face like that?
128
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:15,099
You wouldn't understand.
129
00:09:15,100 --> 00:09:16,380
It's a man thing.
130
00:09:16,420 --> 00:09:20,459
Oh, it's beyond the reach
of my female wit, is it?
131
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:25,500
Like why you always get toothpaste
on the bathroom mirror.
132
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,140
Kath, life is full of mystery.
133
00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:30,339
There's more to worry about
than bathroom mirrors.
134
00:09:30,340 --> 00:09:32,219
Ha! I just... I just...
135
00:09:32,220 --> 00:09:35,939
I just wonder how you manage it,
that's all.
136
00:09:35,940 --> 00:09:37,740
Every day.
137
00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:40,860
I mean, you're supposed to brush the
teeth that are in your mouth,
138
00:09:40,900 --> 00:09:44,420
not the ones you see in the mirror.
Just...
139
00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:47,420
I come home in emotional pain
140
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:51,019
and you haven't even made me a
sandwich!
141
00:09:51,020 --> 00:09:54,340
Oh, all right, come on, then.
142
00:09:54,380 --> 00:09:56,260
What is it?
143
00:10:02,300 --> 00:10:03,900
It's Cyril.
144
00:10:05,620 --> 00:10:07,620
Your best mate.
145
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:10,380
Former holder of that position.
146
00:10:10,420 --> 00:10:13,500
Oooh, you've fallen out with Cyril?
147
00:10:14,820 --> 00:10:15,899
I thought you had a bond.
148
00:10:15,900 --> 00:10:17,140
I...
149
00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:19,579
I thought you were blood brothers.
150
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:21,899
I mean, you spend more time with him
than you do with me.
151
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:23,580
Well, not any more.
152
00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:29,100
Ooh! What did he do?
153
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,340
What didn't he do?
154
00:10:32,380 --> 00:10:33,940
He only went and lost his
155
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:37,780
Go Anywhere Safely
digital compass, didn't he?
156
00:10:37,820 --> 00:10:39,540
So he lost his compass?
157
00:10:39,580 --> 00:10:41,500
Well, why didn't he get another one?
158
00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:44,140
Oh, he got another, yeah.
159
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,180
He borrowed mine.
160
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:49,819
So what's the problem?
161
00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:52,380
Well, he lost that one an' all,
didn't he?
162
00:10:52,420 --> 00:10:56,739
Found a hole in
his all-weather parka pocket lining.
163
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,979
Right, um, explain to me
164
00:10:59,980 --> 00:11:04,620
why either of you needs a Go
Anywhere Safety digital compass.
165
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:06,460
You never go anywhere!
166
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,900
We were going to start!
167
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:10,940
Look.
168
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:14,580
I bought a map, a flask,
169
00:11:14,620 --> 00:11:15,820
cagoules...
170
00:11:15,860 --> 00:11:17,780
Hey, and a whistle...
171
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,500
...in case we got separated in the
fog!
172
00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:31,900
You get one hole in your pocket
lining...
173
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:36,539
What you need is something Spanish.
174
00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,660
Not even a big hole,
175
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,780
hardly big enough to fuss about.
176
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:44,020
He's being unreasonable,
177
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:47,499
and I know unreasonable.
178
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:50,099
I married it!
179
00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:54,220
You know, it breaks me heart
to see you and Eric falling out.
180
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:58,060
You think I'm stubborn,
you should see him.
181
00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,140
Well...
182
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:00,580
Oh.
183
00:12:00,620 --> 00:12:04,779
You can come in. I were just
leaving.
184
00:12:04,780 --> 00:12:07,620
I don't need your permission.
185
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:09,620
Now, hold it, hold it, would you?
186
00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:12,260
He started it.
He started it.
187
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:14,339
You started it.
You started it.
188
00:12:14,340 --> 00:12:16,340
Hey! Hey! Oh, that's not the point,
is it?
189
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:19,739
The point is, who's going to end
it?
190
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,420
It's down to him, in't it?
191
00:12:21,460 --> 00:12:23,259
Old Hole-In-The-Pocket!
192
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:26,219
People get holes.
193
00:12:26,220 --> 00:12:28,940
They don't all lose valuable items
through 'em, do they?!
194
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:32,380
You two, stop sniping at each other!
195
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,420
Cor, I thought
that's what your wives were for.
196
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:49,460
Oh, there you are, coming to fetch
me.
197
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:52,300
And here I am, saving you the
trouble.
198
00:12:52,340 --> 00:12:54,339
Can't wait to get together.
199
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:57,060
No, actually, I'm...
No, no, no, don't be embarrassed.
200
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,380
This is bigger than both of us.
201
00:12:58,420 --> 00:13:02,260
Madam, I...
Oh, that's how you see me, is it?
202
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:05,020
With a whip and a fancy corset.
Well, there'll be none of that...
203
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:06,100
...till later.
204
00:13:06,140 --> 00:13:09,699
Why don't you take me into the house
205
00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,100
and you can offer me a sherry?
206
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,660
That's it. Very good.
207
00:13:16,700 --> 00:13:18,100
There.
208
00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:19,740
The Spanish solution?
209
00:13:19,780 --> 00:13:20,940
Castanets?
210
00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:25,900
Yes, it's a duel
to establish who is the alpha male.
211
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:30,299
You know, there is a reason
why the Spanish have been clicking
212
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,940
bits of wood
over the last few centuries.
213
00:13:33,980 --> 00:13:36,579
Oh, I thought it was
because they lost Gibraltar.
214
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:39,420
It's the aftereffects of eating
chorizo.
215
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,860
No, it's not that either. It's...
216
00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:46,060
It's because he who clicks...
217
00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:48,379
...and stamps best...
218
00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:50,500
...is the macho male.
219
00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:03,660
Willis, how many nights a week
does your mother keep you prisoner?
220
00:14:03,700 --> 00:14:06,620
Well, I wouldn't say prisoner,
she just likes the company.
221
00:14:12,260 --> 00:14:15,620
You're not bad-looking,
in a weird sort of way.
222
00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,099
In what way weird?
223
00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,659
Well, your mouth's a bit sideways.
224
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:23,979
Well, how can it be sideways? Can
you kiss? Of course I can kiss.
225
00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:26,540
I bet.
226
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,900
You... Come with me.
What?
227
00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,659
Call her back. Get her off him.
228
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,460
He'll be all right.
He looks terrified.
229
00:14:39,500 --> 00:14:42,180
It suits him.
It's his natural condition.
230
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:48,900
It's awfully quiet.
231
00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:51,899
There's a time and a place for
quiet. No, but this is very quiet.
232
00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:54,180
It's none of our business.
233
00:14:54,220 --> 00:14:57,020
Body found in bushes...
Oh, stop it.
234
00:14:59,700 --> 00:15:01,699
Well, it's not too sideways.
235
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:05,660
He can kiss, and
he's coming tonight.
236
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,020
What time?
237
00:15:29,340 --> 00:15:30,899
There you are,
238
00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,060
flamenco at 50 paces.
239
00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:41,700
We haven't got 50 paces.
240
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:46,660
Because you've got flamenco,
the deadliest form.
241
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,620
Deadly?
242
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:50,140
Mano a mano.
243
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:53,020
Flamenco close combat.
244
00:15:55,100 --> 00:15:57,580
Face-to-face.
245
00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:24,780
Yeah.
246
00:16:24,820 --> 00:16:27,820
Inside all that were your moves.
247
00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:31,220
When I switch this music back on
248
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:34,739
I want to see you two destroy each
other.
249
00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:37,980
I can do that.
Huh, in a million years!
250
00:16:38,020 --> 00:16:40,220
Clicking your fingers
and stamping your feet,
251
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:43,660
and may the best man win.
252
00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:45,900
You've asked for it!
Bring it on!
253
00:17:11,540 --> 00:17:12,940
Hold it, hold it!
254
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:17,380
You're scaring all the customers
away.
255
00:17:17,420 --> 00:17:19,059
Oh...
256
00:17:19,060 --> 00:17:21,299
All right, that were very good.
257
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,780
Now... I'm the umpire,
258
00:17:23,820 --> 00:17:25,260
I have to make my decision.
259
00:17:26,660 --> 00:17:27,860
Hm...
260
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:29,379
It's a draw.
261
00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:30,900
Well done.
262
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:32,300
Shake hands.
263
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:41,340
I thought you were pretty good
at stamping the old feet.
264
00:17:41,380 --> 00:17:43,979
A couple of times there I thought...
265
00:17:43,980 --> 00:17:45,460
... "I like his clack."
266
00:17:48,060 --> 00:17:49,460
We've made up.
267
00:17:49,500 --> 00:17:50,900
So it appears.
268
00:17:59,420 --> 00:18:02,140
You not speaking today, Mr Newbold?
269
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:09,139
Do you mind, Gastric,
if I ask how you knew that it was
me?
270
00:18:09,140 --> 00:18:14,059
Well, who else
is tall, nervous, up to no good?
271
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,900
Heh-heh!
I wouldn't say up to no good.
272
00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:20,219
Just striving for anonymity.
273
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:22,580
How is Mrs Rossi?
I don't know.
274
00:18:22,620 --> 00:18:24,620
I can't get there.
275
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:26,899
I thought crossing the park would be
safe, you know,
276
00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,260
free from anyone who knew me.
277
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,420
What brings you here?
278
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:34,459
Oh, it's him. He drags me out here.
279
00:18:34,460 --> 00:18:37,820
Well, shouldn't he be running about?
Chasing something?
280
00:18:37,860 --> 00:18:40,140
Like you? Heh-heh!
281
00:18:41,140 --> 00:18:44,060
The eyes of Mrs Featherstone...
282
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:47,140
...are everywhere.
283
00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:48,980
I'm forced into subterfuge.
284
00:18:51,100 --> 00:18:52,820
They're good cover, aren't they?
285
00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:54,859
Cover?
286
00:18:54,860 --> 00:18:57,220
Well, you see a chap walking a dog,
287
00:18:57,260 --> 00:18:59,140
no further explanation is necessary.
288
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:03,420
You can walk for miles with a dog
no-one thinks twice.
289
00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:04,820
Oh.
290
00:19:04,860 --> 00:19:06,660
You want to take him for a walk?
291
00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:09,700
Well, is he friendly?
292
00:19:09,740 --> 00:19:11,779
I tell you, I had a wife once
293
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:14,060
he's friendlier than her
by a large margin.
294
00:19:16,540 --> 00:19:19,860
What's his name?
Alan. Ah.
295
00:19:19,900 --> 00:19:21,900
Look after him.
I wouldn't let him go with anybody.
296
00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:25,499
He will be in my affections
second only to Mrs Rossi.
297
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,459
Oh, I'd be happier if they were
equal.
298
00:19:27,460 --> 00:19:28,780
It's a deal.
299
00:19:28,820 --> 00:19:31,500
Come on, Alan.
Go on, boy.
300
00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,900
See you later, Alan!
301
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,580
I like Mr Newbold.
302
00:19:39,620 --> 00:19:45,060
And when he's safely married
to Mrs Featherstone... Heh-heh...
303
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,860
...I intend to give him a discount.
304
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:52,340
Sometimes.
305
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,380
On certain items.
306
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:00,700
Mrs Featherstone is here.
307
00:20:00,740 --> 00:20:02,259
She'd like a word.
308
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:05,019
Oh, why didn't you serve her?
309
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:08,980
She's asked for you.
Oh! Godspeed.
310
00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,299
Ooh! Oh!
311
00:20:22,300 --> 00:20:24,060
These look interesting.
312
00:20:24,100 --> 00:20:25,700
How much are they?
313
00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:28,339
What... What's that?
Er, these down here.
314
00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:29,740
Agh, hey!
315
00:20:31,620 --> 00:20:35,820
Now... Listen, please, Mrs
Feather... Featherstone, I'm...
316
00:20:35,860 --> 00:20:37,259
Agh, get off.
317
00:20:37,260 --> 00:20:39,060
Agh... Agh...
318
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:42,540
No... This, Mrs Featherstone,
319
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,940
this is totally unseemly!
320
00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:48,180
You must stop this!
321
00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:51,660
Oh!
322
00:20:51,700 --> 00:20:56,060
Oh! Ha-ha! We seem to have got a bit
distracted.
323
00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:57,580
Ha-ha! Mm!
324
00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:59,620
No... No, no, no.
325
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:03,460
Ah!
326
00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,500
I never did find out the price.
327
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,500
You're very accomplished.
328
00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:21,500
I used to do this quite a bit.
329
00:21:22,580 --> 00:21:24,819
I shall fall asleep.
330
00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:27,620
Then do! Poor company.
331
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:32,819
We don't need to talk.
I'm content just to look at you.
332
00:21:32,820 --> 00:21:34,419
I'm blushing now.
333
00:21:34,420 --> 00:21:36,180
So I will.
334
00:21:36,220 --> 00:21:38,620
I'll close my eyes.
335
00:21:43,620 --> 00:21:46,100
Mr Newbold!
336
00:21:46,140 --> 00:21:49,580
Call me Wilbuuurn!
337
00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:51,820
Mr Newbold!
338
00:21:58,740 --> 00:22:01,540
La padrione...
339
00:22:01,580 --> 00:22:04,499
I clack my fingers!
340
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:06,259
And the senoritas...
341
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,900
...they come a-running.
342
00:22:12,260 --> 00:22:15,699
Oh, you're here.
343
00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:18,540
Yeah... why shouldn't I be here?
344
00:22:18,580 --> 00:22:21,060
I live here.
345
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,500
Why have you got a flower in your
teeth? Mm?
346
00:22:24,980 --> 00:22:27,940
People should eat more greens?
347
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:30,980
And what are you hiding behind your
back?
348
00:22:31,020 --> 00:22:34,300
What gives you the right to question
me on absolutely everything?
349
00:22:34,340 --> 00:22:37,500
Eric, I come in and you're looking
guilty
350
00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:41,099
and you've got a flower in your
teeth! So?
351
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:42,979
What do you mean, "so"?
352
00:22:42,980 --> 00:22:46,020
People have been led off
to secure accommodation for less!
353
00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:48,060
All right!
354
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:53,340
I'm just having a quiet clack.
355
00:22:55,420 --> 00:22:57,620
Castanets?
356
00:22:57,660 --> 00:23:01,060
Well, they're not prohibited
weapons. I mean...
357
00:23:01,100 --> 00:23:02,100
In fact...
358
00:23:04,780 --> 00:23:07,380
...they bring out the alpha male in
me.
359
00:23:11,260 --> 00:23:13,299
Eric...
360
00:23:13,300 --> 00:23:15,099
Why don't you have a lie-down, love,
361
00:23:15,100 --> 00:23:17,220
and I'll make you a nice cup of tea?
362
00:23:37,860 --> 00:23:39,979
Oh!
363
00:23:39,980 --> 00:23:42,660
I need your help, Granville.
364
00:23:44,060 --> 00:23:46,380
Mr Newbold, you're wet through!
365
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:48,380
Oh, it's worse than that.
366
00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:52,460
You should be at home,
shouldn't you, getting dry? Look at
you.
367
00:23:52,500 --> 00:23:55,100
Oh, I'd love to be at home,
but can I get there
368
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:58,940
without being seen by the Black
Widow or one of her spies?
369
00:23:58,980 --> 00:24:00,940
Oh!
370
00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:02,220
Oh-oh!
371
00:24:02,260 --> 00:24:04,539
Get... Hey!
372
00:24:04,540 --> 00:24:07,859
Leroy! Mr Newbold needs a lift home.
373
00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:09,940
Slight problem.
We haven't got a vehicle.
374
00:24:09,980 --> 00:24:13,180
Yes... yes, we have,
375
00:24:13,220 --> 00:24:16,020
at a very reasonable price,
376
00:24:16,060 --> 00:24:18,900
and totally discreet.
377
00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,380
Psst! All right, come on.
378
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,740
Come on, gently.
379
00:24:36,780 --> 00:24:39,340
You don't want to draw attention
to yourself.
380
00:24:39,380 --> 00:24:41,460
I'm very grateful,
Granville.
381
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:43,140
Don't mention it.
382
00:24:43,180 --> 00:24:44,619
I'm not.
383
00:24:44,620 --> 00:24:48,699
Be quiet, Leroy.
Stop behaving like a cow's backside.
384
00:24:48,700 --> 00:24:50,180
Go on.
385
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:05,379
So, how bad was your marriage?
386
00:25:05,380 --> 00:25:08,459
Oh, it was bad. Hers too.
387
00:25:08,460 --> 00:25:11,699
So when did it really dawn on you
that you were incompatible?
388
00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:14,339
I think it was the night
he was making love to me
389
00:25:14,340 --> 00:25:15,619
and he stopped
390
00:25:15,620 --> 00:25:17,780
and he said he could murder a
sandwich.
391
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,420
OK.
392
00:25:21,460 --> 00:25:24,060
Look, I... I'm sorry,
it's probably just me,
393
00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:25,500
but I really need to know...
394
00:25:25,540 --> 00:25:27,740
Um, what kind of sandwich?
395
00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:28,860
Marmite.
396
00:25:28,900 --> 00:25:30,980
Oh.
Yeah, it was a shock.
397
00:25:31,020 --> 00:25:33,420
Mm. I didn't even know he
liked Marmite.
398
00:25:45,820 --> 00:25:47,620
Moo!
399
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,460
Oh!
400
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:03,260
Oh, made it!
401
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:04,580
I owe you, Leroy.
402
00:26:04,620 --> 00:26:06,540
No problem, Mr Newbold.
403
00:26:06,580 --> 00:26:10,220
Now, if I can only find my key.
404
00:26:15,260 --> 00:26:17,500
Newbold?
405
00:26:17,540 --> 00:26:19,499
What are you doing inside that cow?
406
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:23,180
Have you not thought of the impact
on your neighbours?
407
00:26:25,300 --> 00:26:29,219
- Well, what makes you think it's me?
- By which I mean him.
408
00:26:29,220 --> 00:26:30,700
Well, of course it's you.
409
00:26:30,740 --> 00:26:32,100
Isn't it?
410
00:26:32,140 --> 00:26:34,740
No, no. My name's
Watkinson.
411
00:26:34,780 --> 00:26:36,459
Marshal Watkinson.
412
00:26:36,460 --> 00:26:39,139
Well, that's a funny name for a cow.
413
00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:41,379
He'll vouch for me at the rear.
414
00:26:41,380 --> 00:26:44,779
Moo!
415
00:26:44,780 --> 00:26:48,180
He never said he had a friend
who liked to dress up as a cow.
416
00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:50,419
Oh, it's only
occasionally.
417
00:26:50,420 --> 00:26:54,499
Um, is he always in the rear,
or are you flexible?
418
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:57,299
No, no, don't tell me.
419
00:26:57,300 --> 00:26:59,220
He's not at home anyway.
420
00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:03,500
Oh, well, in that case,
madam, we'll be on our way.
421
00:27:05,060 --> 00:27:07,860
You will...? You will tell him we
called?
422
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:10,060
Yes, of course I will.
423
00:27:10,100 --> 00:27:11,940
I know my manners.
424
00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:14,660
Moo!
425
00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:20,899
He should never have given her a
key.
426
00:27:20,900 --> 00:27:23,100
He probably didn't.
427
00:27:23,140 --> 00:27:24,980
I expect she mugged him.
428
00:27:26,300 --> 00:27:28,299
Cheeky old Newbold.
429
00:27:28,300 --> 00:27:32,099
Sometimes known as Marshal
Watkinson.
430
00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:35,100
Huh! Got away with it that time.
431
00:27:35,140 --> 00:27:38,860
With a little help from
his friend behind.
432
00:27:46,540 --> 00:27:48,900
Our Leroy's got problems.
433
00:27:50,060 --> 00:27:54,380
How can a cow's rear end
ever make it with a vegan?
434
00:27:54,420 --> 00:27:55,620
Hm?
435
00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:00,459
Oh, ha!
436
00:28:00,460 --> 00:28:03,899
What? I want an honest answer.
437
00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:08,460
Mmhm. Would you ever find me
less attractive than Marmite?
438
00:28:10,460 --> 00:28:15,579
If I could put in a jar
the way that I feel about you...
439
00:28:15,580 --> 00:28:19,180
...I would be rich enough
to stop overcharging.
440
00:28:19,220 --> 00:28:20,780
Hm.
441
00:28:20,820 --> 00:28:23,100
Well, midweek, anyway...
442
00:28:24,900 --> 00:28:28,180
...on certain items.
443
00:28:30,380 --> 00:28:32,580
Fish and chips?
444
00:28:32,620 --> 00:28:34,739
Try and stop me.
445
00:28:34,740 --> 00:28:36,420
After you.
31072
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