All language subtitles for Schitts Creek - 04x01 - Dead Guy in Room 4 (English)
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1
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:12,177
Ah!
2
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:15,814
Ha, now that is what I
call a beautiful morning!
3
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:18,132
Looks like another full house tonight.
4
00:00:18,157 --> 00:00:20,421
Things are starting
to look up, sweetheart.
5
00:00:20,492 --> 00:00:21,914
Big waves! Big waves!
6
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:24,938
Oh yes. Yes, tidal waves of prosperity
7
00:00:24,963 --> 00:00:26,992
are crashing down, all around us.
8
00:00:27,017 --> 00:00:29,398
Soon enough. You just wait.
9
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:34,204
Hey partner, what's the good word?
10
00:00:34,272 --> 00:00:36,273
There's a dead guy in Room 4.
11
00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:40,176
What? Whadda ya mean
there's a dead guy in...
12
00:00:40,244 --> 00:00:41,604
come in, come in.
13
00:00:42,180 --> 00:00:45,149
Did I hear what I think I heard?
14
00:00:45,174 --> 00:00:47,083
- Has someone been killed?
- No.
15
00:00:47,152 --> 00:00:49,318
No! No, John, no. No!
16
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:52,329
I have endured a cornucopia
of trauma that last few years,
17
00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:55,258
I draw the line at
living in a crime scene.
18
00:00:55,260 --> 00:00:57,665
Okay, nobody's been murdered, Mrs. Rose.
19
00:00:57,690 --> 00:00:59,262
I went in to clean Room 4,
20
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:02,112
and this old guy was
like, asleep in his bed.
21
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:05,135
But like, forever asleep.
22
00:01:05,203 --> 00:01:08,071
Like, checked out
without paying, asleep.
23
00:01:08,139 --> 00:01:10,740
Okay, I think it's a little
early for humor, Stevie.
24
00:01:11,229 --> 00:01:14,110
Oh, I'm sorry, did you
just see a dead body?
25
00:01:14,178 --> 00:01:16,312
What did this gentleman look like?
26
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:19,549
- I don't know, like old.
- John old? Or old, old?
27
00:01:19,617 --> 00:01:21,484
Well, I don't quite see the relevance
28
00:01:21,553 --> 00:01:23,452
in that question,
Moira, the man is dead.
29
00:01:23,521 --> 00:01:25,332
I mean we can't have the
other guests finding out
30
00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:27,423
about a dead body in one of the rooms.
31
00:01:27,491 --> 00:01:29,158
- Ugh!
- Ew! There's a dead body
32
00:01:29,227 --> 00:01:31,527
- in one of the rooms?
- Okay, I always knew
33
00:01:31,552 --> 00:01:32,906
there'd be a murder here eventually.
34
00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:34,741
I'm gonna go pack up my
things, I assume we're moving?
35
00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,232
We're not packing up our things,
36
00:01:36,234 --> 00:01:38,468
and everybody just calm
down. Nobody's been murdered.
37
00:01:38,536 --> 00:01:42,305
Okay, the old man in Room
4 died alone in his sleep.
38
00:01:42,373 --> 00:01:45,511
Why do I find that scenario even
more bone-chilling than murder?
39
00:01:45,536 --> 00:01:48,945
Stevie, do we know how this man expired?
40
00:01:49,261 --> 00:01:51,114
Do I look like a coroner?
41
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,337
I don't think you want people
answering that question.
42
00:01:54,362 --> 00:01:59,455
It feels like every time the
motel sells out, someone dies.
43
00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,073
Uh, we've only sold out one night.
44
00:02:02,632 --> 00:02:04,284
Exactly.
45
00:02:09,418 --> 00:02:12,979
... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
... www.addic7ed.com ...
46
00:02:13,144 --> 00:02:15,671
So you and Patrick are
sitting in his car last night,
47
00:02:15,674 --> 00:02:18,120
and you just leaned in and kissed him?
48
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:20,910
Okay, what part of this conversation
49
00:02:20,978 --> 00:02:24,547
- don't you understand?
- Okay, and he wanted that.
50
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:26,249
Yes.
51
00:02:26,251 --> 00:02:28,051
Like he told you that he wanted that.
52
00:02:28,119 --> 00:02:29,485
Fall off a bridge, please.
53
00:02:29,487 --> 00:02:31,487
You gave me such a hard time
for getting involved with Ted,
54
00:02:31,489 --> 00:02:34,000
and then you just... French
your business partner
55
00:02:34,025 --> 00:02:36,626
literally the second he peeks
his head out of the closet.
56
00:02:36,815 --> 00:02:39,528
I'll have you know this
is the healthiest first day
57
00:02:39,597 --> 00:02:41,659
of a relationship I've ever had.
58
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,866
Well, all I know is that Patrick is
59
00:02:43,935 --> 00:02:45,668
a sweet little button face, David,
60
00:02:45,736 --> 00:02:47,370
so don't mess this up.
61
00:02:47,739 --> 00:02:49,305
Oh good,
62
00:02:49,374 --> 00:02:50,773
I'm glad you're both still here.
63
00:02:50,842 --> 00:02:52,508
We're gonna need your
room for the night,
64
00:02:52,510 --> 00:02:54,050
so uh, pack up.
65
00:02:54,075 --> 00:02:56,445
- Um, no.
- Absolutely not.
66
00:02:56,514 --> 00:02:57,980
The motel is sold out
67
00:02:57,983 --> 00:03:00,850
and we're unable to remove
a body, and disinfect Room 4,
68
00:03:00,852 --> 00:03:02,217
in time for check-in.
69
00:03:02,242 --> 00:03:05,288
Okay, every inch of that
sentence made me sick.
70
00:03:05,529 --> 00:03:08,762
I agree with David, we
must all move on from this.
71
00:03:08,787 --> 00:03:11,460
- Did I say that?
- Well there's no use wasting time
72
00:03:11,529 --> 00:03:12,811
worrying about what happened?
73
00:03:12,836 --> 00:03:14,708
We're not worrying about
what happened, Moira,
74
00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:16,225
we're trying to find a solution,
75
00:03:16,250 --> 00:03:18,279
and I'm gonna need the family
to help us through this.
76
00:03:18,304 --> 00:03:20,068
Okay, why don't the new
guests stay in your room?
77
00:03:20,093 --> 00:03:22,638
It'll take day just to
re-box your mother's wigs.
78
00:03:22,707 --> 00:03:25,474
Oh my God, can you imagine?
Not one of you is trained.
79
00:03:25,477 --> 00:03:27,476
Okay, bottom line, we need the room,
80
00:03:27,479 --> 00:03:28,589
so throw some things in a bag
81
00:03:28,613 --> 00:03:30,346
and we're gonna set you up in our room.
82
00:03:30,348 --> 00:03:33,259
Okay, I've never just thrown
some things in a bag before,
83
00:03:33,284 --> 00:03:34,784
so you might have to give me a minute.
84
00:03:34,786 --> 00:03:36,786
Yeah, and I'm gonna be
sleeping somewhere else.
85
00:03:36,854 --> 00:03:38,428
- Same.
- Like literally anywhere else.
86
00:03:38,453 --> 00:03:41,023
Yeah, like an old tent by
the side of the highway.
87
00:03:41,026 --> 00:03:42,992
Okay, enough, let's get going, please?
88
00:03:43,060 --> 00:03:45,194
Yes, yes, plenty of work to be done.
89
00:03:45,262 --> 00:03:47,630
Unfortunately my previous
engagements preclude me
90
00:03:47,632 --> 00:03:50,699
from offering my beneficence
around the motel today.
91
00:03:50,724 --> 00:03:52,612
John, I hate to leave you like this!
92
00:03:52,637 --> 00:03:55,442
Yeah, I know, Moira,
you know, busy busy.
93
00:03:55,817 --> 00:03:58,489
- I want the room cleaned up in an hour.
- Okay.
94
00:03:58,514 --> 00:04:01,376
Um, I'm gonna need a
roll of dry-cleaning bags,
95
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,232
and some padlocks.
96
00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:11,841
Okay, so Roland knows a
guy at the coroner's office.
97
00:04:11,866 --> 00:04:15,362
- Wait, you told Roland?
- Yes.
98
00:04:16,377 --> 00:04:20,502
I don't know, I-I ran into him,
and he asked me how I was.
99
00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,182
- Well, that's not good, Stevie.
- No, I might have panicked.
100
00:04:23,207 --> 00:04:25,354
I wouldn't trust Roland
with a set of chopsticks,
101
00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:27,323
- let alone a dead body!
- Yeah.
102
00:04:27,611 --> 00:04:29,111
- Oh, hello!
- Hello.
103
00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,669
Checking out?
104
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:33,036
Hello, Johnny. Stevie.
105
00:04:33,038 --> 00:04:35,305
I come bearing good news.
106
00:04:35,307 --> 00:04:36,973
Okay, Roland, as you can see,
107
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,419
Mr. Rose is checking
out a guest right now,
108
00:04:38,443 --> 00:04:40,658
so maybe you can hold
off on that good news?
109
00:04:40,683 --> 00:04:42,503
Oh sure, I got it.
110
00:04:42,528 --> 00:04:45,115
Uh, well let me just say this,
111
00:04:45,433 --> 00:04:51,064
re the toilet that died in Room 4,
112
00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:54,603
the plumber will be here in a few hours.
113
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,540
He said he'd be here sooner,
but he has another autopsy.
114
00:04:58,734 --> 00:05:00,602
Toilet on the fritz.
115
00:05:07,406 --> 00:05:09,423
Okay, so, what'd the coroner say?
116
00:05:09,551 --> 00:05:11,918
My guys will be here between 4 and 5.
117
00:05:12,407 --> 00:05:13,577
Well, that's not good,
118
00:05:13,602 --> 00:05:15,845
we can't have the guests
watching a dead body
119
00:05:15,914 --> 00:05:17,295
being dragged out of here.
120
00:05:17,482 --> 00:05:19,494
So probably best to keep
your guests in their rooms.
121
00:05:19,518 --> 00:05:21,518
And, how're we gonna do that?
122
00:05:21,975 --> 00:05:23,486
Do the rooms lock from the outside?
123
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:26,333
We're not locking the guests
in their rooms, Roland.
124
00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:28,693
Well, I'm sure they'll be fine, Johnny.
125
00:05:28,718 --> 00:05:31,694
I saw a lot of dead
bodies when I was a kid,
126
00:05:31,826 --> 00:05:36,756
und I would say that
I turned out pretty okay.
127
00:05:38,295 --> 00:05:41,826
Hmm.
128
00:05:48,030 --> 00:05:49,483
- Thank you very much.
- Bye.
129
00:05:49,526 --> 00:05:51,660
- Alexis!
- Oh my God, Ted, hey!
130
00:05:51,662 --> 00:05:54,129
Um, was there like a pet
massacre, or something?
131
00:05:54,198 --> 00:05:56,365
What is with all these
sad looking people?
132
00:05:56,433 --> 00:05:58,700
Uh, nope, all these
perfectly happy-looking people
133
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,758
are actually applying for your old job.
134
00:06:01,224 --> 00:06:03,105
I literally just quit, Ted.
135
00:06:03,173 --> 00:06:05,474
Again, quit implies
a negative connotation
136
00:06:05,542 --> 00:06:08,477
and I'd say that we had a
pretty fun time working together.
137
00:06:08,545 --> 00:06:10,679
We did have a pretty fun time.
138
00:06:10,681 --> 00:06:13,081
That's not what I meant,
but anyway, what's up?
139
00:06:13,553 --> 00:06:15,550
Oh, I just wanted to thank you again
140
00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:17,552
for coming to my graduation yesterday.
141
00:06:17,555 --> 00:06:19,354
It was a very sweet surprise.
142
00:06:19,357 --> 00:06:21,390
Oh, it was my pleasure.
143
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:23,215
- Here.
- Oh, thanks.
144
00:06:24,124 --> 00:06:26,261
And, I also had a question.
145
00:06:26,263 --> 00:06:28,833
Uh yeah, Alexis, I'd love
to answer that question,
146
00:06:28,858 --> 00:06:30,275
it's just I'm kind
of right in the middle
147
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:31,749
of interviewing these people, so.
148
00:06:31,774 --> 00:06:37,608
Okay, yeah, totally. I will just um...
149
00:06:38,975 --> 00:06:41,736
um... I actually used to work here.
150
00:06:42,092 --> 00:06:43,923
This used to be my desk, so.
151
00:06:45,509 --> 00:06:47,282
You know, now that you're here,
152
00:06:47,284 --> 00:06:49,818
I guess you could sit in
on the interviews with me.
153
00:06:50,222 --> 00:06:52,497
Oh. Okay, sure.
154
00:06:52,522 --> 00:06:56,359
Now, everybody, just so you know,
155
00:06:56,384 --> 00:06:57,859
I got a job here,
156
00:06:57,862 --> 00:07:00,596
and I have literally
zero interest in animals,
157
00:07:00,664 --> 00:07:03,181
so you guys are already like, way ahead.
158
00:07:03,540 --> 00:07:05,600
- Okay.
- So...
159
00:07:05,603 --> 00:07:06,835
Have fun!
160
00:07:24,788 --> 00:07:27,011
- Hi.
- Hey.
161
00:07:40,074 --> 00:07:41,503
So, someone's been busy.
162
00:07:41,571 --> 00:07:43,371
Oh yeah, yeah, I've been up since 5.
163
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,839
Could not sleep, been thinking about...
164
00:07:46,818 --> 00:07:48,964
stuff, you know, last night.
165
00:07:50,581 --> 00:07:51,784
Regrets?
166
00:07:52,136 --> 00:07:54,216
What? No, why would I have regrets?
167
00:07:54,284 --> 00:07:56,918
I don't know, I think it's
a, just a habit to ask.
168
00:07:56,987 --> 00:07:58,820
No, no, no, no. No regrets.
169
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:01,022
No, I feel good. I feel like a...
170
00:08:01,357 --> 00:08:04,192
weight's been sorta
lifted off my shoulders.
171
00:08:04,419 --> 00:08:07,796
It's all very new, you know,
and it's a lot to process but...
172
00:08:07,982 --> 00:08:09,497
Well, here's something fun.
173
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:14,654
Um... what if I stayed
at your place tonight?
174
00:08:15,834 --> 00:08:17,300
Huh.
175
00:08:18,275 --> 00:08:20,955
It's just that there's some things
happening at the motel, and I...
176
00:08:21,011 --> 00:08:24,362
Yeah, uh, sorry David,
maybe I haven't been clear,
177
00:08:24,387 --> 00:08:26,487
I'm gonna need to take this a lot slower
178
00:08:26,512 --> 00:08:27,916
than a sleepover tonight.
179
00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:29,795
Oh okay, not like a sleepover sleepover.
180
00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:31,786
I think it's important
that I be honest with you
181
00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:33,121
about how I'm feeling,
182
00:08:33,190 --> 00:08:35,034
because I know you have a lot
of experience in this area,
183
00:08:35,058 --> 00:08:37,043
- but for me...
- Oh my God, no,
184
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:40,962
I mean yes, I do, but that's
not what I'm implying. That's...
185
00:08:41,031 --> 00:08:42,683
Ding-a-ding.
186
00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:44,566
Oh hey, Mrs. Rose.
187
00:08:44,634 --> 00:08:46,962
Um, just takin' this to the back.
188
00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,436
We'll talk about this later.
189
00:08:48,468 --> 00:08:52,011
Okay, yeah, it's just some crossed...
wires. May I help you?
190
00:08:52,309 --> 00:08:54,943
It's startlingly quiet in here, David.
191
00:08:55,011 --> 00:08:56,711
Is that a good sign?
192
00:08:56,987 --> 00:08:58,747
I thought you were booked up all day,
193
00:08:58,815 --> 00:09:00,860
and that's why you couldn't
help Dad with the dead b-
194
00:09:00,884 --> 00:09:04,119
- that thing in the motel.
- I am booked up, David.
195
00:09:04,188 --> 00:09:05,721
You should see my schedule.
196
00:09:05,789 --> 00:09:08,757
I'm positively bedeviled
with meetings, etc.
197
00:09:08,825 --> 00:09:10,515
What are you doing here?
198
00:09:10,827 --> 00:09:13,328
You know what I'd love? A tea.
199
00:09:13,330 --> 00:09:14,890
We don't sell tea.
200
00:09:15,065 --> 00:09:18,678
Um, you know, I was gonna
go make a run to the cafe,
201
00:09:18,703 --> 00:09:21,269
- I could get you a tea if you want.
- No, that's not necessary.
202
00:09:21,338 --> 00:09:23,209
How serendipitous. Thank you, Peter.
203
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:25,807
- It's Patrick.
- Anything else?
204
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:28,109
Nothing else for me,
thank you, just the scone.
205
00:09:28,349 --> 00:09:32,285
- You mean the tea?
- Why not. Thank you.
206
00:09:36,052 --> 00:09:38,019
Okay, I was in the middle
207
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:40,021
of like a pretty important conversation,
208
00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:42,634
with my business partner, so...
209
00:09:43,484 --> 00:09:45,994
Sorry David, I had nowhere else to turn.
210
00:09:46,303 --> 00:09:49,372
It's probably nothing, but
I think I've killed a man.
211
00:09:54,662 --> 00:09:56,362
I don't know what to do, David.
212
00:09:56,573 --> 00:09:58,540
The last time I felt this
emotionally encumbered,
213
00:09:58,608 --> 00:10:01,409
I was playing Lady Macbeth
on a Crystal Skies cruise ship
214
00:10:01,478 --> 00:10:03,511
during Shakespeare at Sea Week.
215
00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:05,313
Okay, well I don't
know what to do either,
216
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:07,026
because you still haven't
told me what exactly happened.
217
00:10:11,021 --> 00:10:13,388
One tea for you.
218
00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:16,925
One caramel macchiato
skim, 2 sweeteners,
219
00:10:16,993 --> 00:10:18,927
and a sprinkle of cocoa powder for you.
220
00:10:18,996 --> 00:10:20,829
Thank you.
221
00:10:20,897 --> 00:10:22,364
You're very speedy.
222
00:10:22,366 --> 00:10:24,799
Thanks. I wasn't sure about the scone,
223
00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:26,602
so I got one just to be safe.
224
00:10:27,107 --> 00:10:30,008
There's nothing wrong with
treating yourself, dear.
225
00:10:31,419 --> 00:10:32,920
Okay.
226
00:10:34,344 --> 00:10:37,479
Okay, I am pretty sure that
he's ready to quit on me,
227
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,204
- so can you please...
- Very well.
228
00:10:39,229 --> 00:10:40,726
How to get started.
229
00:10:40,751 --> 00:10:43,118
Um, I woke up yesterday morning
with a spring in my step.
230
00:10:43,186 --> 00:10:44,653
Start later, please.
231
00:10:44,721 --> 00:10:46,087
I could never know where the day was...
232
00:10:46,090 --> 00:10:47,733
Fast forward it.
233
00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:50,358
I ran into the elderly
gentleman outside his room
234
00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:52,227
and he asked me for a painkiller.
235
00:10:53,049 --> 00:10:55,377
- And?
- I told him I didn't have one.
236
00:10:56,041 --> 00:10:57,958
- Okay.
- But I did have one.
237
00:10:58,494 --> 00:11:00,769
In fact I had several
sample packets in my purse.
238
00:11:00,837 --> 00:11:02,477
I had come from the pharmacy,
239
00:11:02,502 --> 00:11:04,039
and they were just out in a bowl.
240
00:11:04,107 --> 00:11:06,241
But I refused the man,
and the next thing I know,
241
00:11:06,243 --> 00:11:08,103
he turns up dead!
242
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:10,750
Well, why didn't you
just give him the pill?
243
00:11:10,775 --> 00:11:11,947
Because David,
244
00:11:12,015 --> 00:11:13,693
because I can barely come
to terms with the fact
245
00:11:13,717 --> 00:11:16,518
that I've resorted to
hoarding... sample packets
246
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,720
of a basic headache medication,
247
00:11:18,789 --> 00:11:20,955
let alone reveal it to the world.
248
00:11:21,024 --> 00:11:22,824
This is what my life has come to, David,
249
00:11:22,826 --> 00:11:26,361
killing a man over a
complimentary bolus.
250
00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:28,596
Okay, well are you
even sure that the pill
251
00:11:28,665 --> 00:11:30,165
would have saved his life?
252
00:11:30,233 --> 00:11:31,966
We'll have to let the courts decide.
253
00:11:31,969 --> 00:11:33,168
The courts?
254
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:35,871
Well, know that you've
unloaded this on me,
255
00:11:35,939 --> 00:11:37,406
what am I, an accomplice?
256
00:11:37,474 --> 00:11:39,908
David, I came here to be
talked off a ledge, not pushed!
257
00:11:39,976 --> 00:11:42,344
Can you imagine this in prison?
258
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:43,878
Can I interject?
259
00:11:43,947 --> 00:11:45,480
I know I wasn't supposed to be listening
260
00:11:45,482 --> 00:11:47,315
to this conversation,
but it's a small space,
261
00:11:47,384 --> 00:11:48,864
and your voice carries so beautifully.
262
00:11:48,918 --> 00:11:51,532
- Mhm.
- Mrs. Rose, I can say
263
00:11:51,557 --> 00:11:53,355
with 100% certainty, you
have nothing to worry about.
264
00:11:53,357 --> 00:11:55,023
Well that's very kind of you, dear,
265
00:11:55,025 --> 00:11:57,392
but now's not the time for
well-intended placation.
266
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:59,472
You're legally prohibited
from supplying medication
267
00:11:59,496 --> 00:12:01,096
to your guests,
268
00:12:01,164 --> 00:12:03,008
so by not giving him anything
you've actually avoided
269
00:12:03,032 --> 00:12:04,848
any potential liability in his death.
270
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:10,527
- Well, there we have it then.
- Thank God you're here Pa...
271
00:12:10,552 --> 00:12:12,140
- ... trick.
- ... trick.
272
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,976
You know how David can
get carried away, I'm sure.
273
00:12:14,978 --> 00:12:16,577
Oh, I do.
274
00:12:16,898 --> 00:12:21,049
Well, I suppose I'll head
back to the scene of the crime,
275
00:12:21,051 --> 00:12:23,210
with which I had nothing to do.
276
00:12:23,789 --> 00:12:25,389
Can I ring that up for you?
277
00:12:25,622 --> 00:12:27,989
I paid way too much for
a wedge of brie last week,
278
00:12:28,057 --> 00:12:29,524
so let's call it even.
279
00:12:29,593 --> 00:12:31,292
I don't think it works like that.
280
00:12:31,295 --> 00:12:33,995
Alexis was right, he's a button.
281
00:12:40,906 --> 00:12:42,640
Thanks.
282
00:12:48,679 --> 00:12:51,079
Well, hello there, my colleague and I
283
00:12:51,081 --> 00:12:54,421
are just checking in to see
how you're enjoying your stay.
284
00:12:54,663 --> 00:12:56,716
Uh, it is what it is.
285
00:12:56,741 --> 00:12:59,091
Oh, well that's excellent. Excellent.
286
00:12:59,116 --> 00:13:01,419
Now, will you be heading
out this afternoon,
287
00:13:01,444 --> 00:13:04,903
- or... hanging around the motel?
- Uh, I don't know,
288
00:13:04,928 --> 00:13:06,694
I'm just trying to get
my kid to take a nap.
289
00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,596
He just gets cranky if he doesn't, so...
290
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,222
Ohhhh, my son's the same way.
291
00:13:11,334 --> 00:13:13,902
Anyway, we just wanted to come by,
292
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:16,505
invite you and your
son to our happy hour,
293
00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:19,758
happening in the motel
lobby between 4 and 5 p.m.
294
00:13:20,009 --> 00:13:21,910
You're inviting my son to happy hour?
295
00:13:22,165 --> 00:13:24,045
Well, wrong choice of words.
296
00:13:24,113 --> 00:13:26,581
We... prefer to call it a family hour,
297
00:13:26,650 --> 00:13:28,183
if that makes you feel any better.
298
00:13:28,185 --> 00:13:29,784
There's gonna be other kids there?
299
00:13:29,853 --> 00:13:31,686
- Oh, I think,
- No.
300
00:13:33,323 --> 00:13:36,842
But there is someone
staying with us right now
301
00:13:36,867 --> 00:13:38,660
who works in a quarry.
302
00:13:38,728 --> 00:13:42,574
So, I bet he has a lot of stories.
303
00:13:42,599 --> 00:13:44,866
And what kind of kid doesn't like rocks?
304
00:13:44,868 --> 00:13:46,134
- Yeah.
- Huh?
305
00:13:46,203 --> 00:13:48,369
Maybe he'll even get to take one home.
306
00:13:48,372 --> 00:13:49,838
Ooh.
307
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:53,505
- I'm gonna think about it.
- Yeah, it's mandatory.
308
00:13:53,530 --> 00:13:54,743
It's mandatory?
309
00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:58,568
Well again, wrong choice of
words, it's not mandatory,
310
00:13:58,593 --> 00:14:00,982
but there is a fee for not attending,
311
00:14:01,050 --> 00:14:03,017
so you'll be paying for it either way.
312
00:14:03,086 --> 00:14:04,219
What?
313
00:14:04,287 --> 00:14:05,831
Yeah, so we'll just be by a little later
314
00:14:05,855 --> 00:14:07,092
to escort you to the lobby.
315
00:14:07,117 --> 00:14:09,557
In the meantime, you
can put your son to bed
316
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:12,450
and just make sure he's
up and ready to go at 3:55.
317
00:14:12,562 --> 00:14:14,295
- Okay? Bye for now.
- Bye, thank you.
318
00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:22,704
All right, thank you very much,
and we will be in touch.
319
00:14:25,836 --> 00:14:27,542
I have to admit, Alexis,
320
00:14:27,610 --> 00:14:29,744
some of your questions
were shockingly effective.
321
00:14:29,746 --> 00:14:31,250
I found it very telling how many people
322
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:33,025
would just accept a cocktail
from a total stranger.
323
00:14:33,049 --> 00:14:34,382
Hmm, thank you.
324
00:14:34,450 --> 00:14:36,618
Who would've known that
Paul was allergic to cats?
325
00:14:36,686 --> 00:14:39,289
- What was he doing here?
- I'm happy to help.
326
00:14:39,961 --> 00:14:41,960
You know it is gonna be
327
00:14:41,985 --> 00:14:43,958
different around here without you.
328
00:14:44,027 --> 00:14:46,850
You definitely had a certain something,
329
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,329
and I can't quite put my finger on.
330
00:14:48,936 --> 00:14:51,547
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
331
00:14:51,801 --> 00:14:53,334
Thank you!
332
00:14:59,302 --> 00:15:01,876
So you were gonna ask
me something earlier.
333
00:15:01,945 --> 00:15:03,578
Oh, sorry yeah, um,
334
00:15:03,646 --> 00:15:05,880
so something gross
happened at the motel,
335
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,506
so I was actually hoping I could
crash at your place tonight.
336
00:15:09,224 --> 00:15:13,716
Yeah, normally that'd be
totally okay it's just um,
337
00:15:13,741 --> 00:15:16,963
I have a date tonight.
338
00:15:17,229 --> 00:15:19,120
Oh. Fun.
339
00:15:19,635 --> 00:15:22,063
Okay, um, well maybe I
could like drop my stuff
340
00:15:22,131 --> 00:15:24,821
- and wait, or...
- Yeah,
341
00:15:24,846 --> 00:15:26,634
it's uh just kinda that um,
342
00:15:26,703 --> 00:15:31,439
we may uh, you know, need
the apartment at some point.
343
00:15:31,893 --> 00:15:34,075
Apartment at some point.
344
00:15:34,143 --> 00:15:36,956
My God, like for sex.
345
00:15:38,414 --> 00:15:40,481
I don't know why I
thought you were single.
346
00:15:40,550 --> 00:15:42,383
That's... hmm.
347
00:15:42,386 --> 00:15:44,426
Yeah, I thought I had
mentioned her, it's Heather,
348
00:15:44,454 --> 00:15:45,853
the woman with the cat.
349
00:15:45,856 --> 00:15:47,922
Yes, the woman who wanted you
to wash her cat all the time.
350
00:15:47,925 --> 00:15:49,123
Yeah.
351
00:15:49,148 --> 00:15:50,937
I thought that was like
a little casual thing.
352
00:15:50,961 --> 00:15:54,662
It was and then it sort of
turned into more of a thing.
353
00:15:54,731 --> 00:15:58,798
Hmm. Did. Well, good for Heather.
354
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:01,939
Thirsty little thing, isn't she.
355
00:16:02,806 --> 00:16:05,306
Um... okay, okay, cool.
356
00:16:05,775 --> 00:16:08,276
Well um, I should probably go.
357
00:16:09,762 --> 00:16:11,696
Alexis, wait.
358
00:16:16,673 --> 00:16:18,102
Who would you hire from today?
359
00:16:20,751 --> 00:16:23,087
Um, I liked the guy with the glasses.
360
00:16:24,564 --> 00:16:25,998
Me too.
361
00:16:26,863 --> 00:16:30,398
Um, or the guy with
cystic acne. Either or.
362
00:16:30,591 --> 00:16:31,431
Okay.
363
00:16:31,456 --> 00:16:34,566
Or the girl with the oily
braid. Also very good.
364
00:16:34,972 --> 00:16:36,671
Okay, lots to think about there.
365
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,964
- Mhmm.
- Thank you, Alexis.
366
00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:03,657
So you told your mom about us, huh.
367
00:17:04,134 --> 00:17:07,828
No, I told Alexis about us,
368
00:17:07,853 --> 00:17:10,288
and she likely told my mom.
369
00:17:13,111 --> 00:17:15,445
- Okay, listen David...
- No you listen...
370
00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:18,346
Sorry that came off way
harsher than I wanted it to.
371
00:17:18,348 --> 00:17:21,215
Uh, I know how this looks,
372
00:17:21,218 --> 00:17:23,284
especially considering
that you just told me
373
00:17:23,353 --> 00:17:25,019
you wanted to take things slow,
374
00:17:25,088 --> 00:17:28,427
but me wanting to stay at your place,
375
00:17:28,452 --> 00:17:30,391
it was more about what
was happening at...
376
00:17:30,460 --> 00:17:32,360
- Yeah, I... I know that now.
- Okay.
377
00:17:32,428 --> 00:17:34,862
And I'm sorry for assuming
that you just wanted to stay
378
00:17:34,931 --> 00:17:38,757
at my house to... to
sleep with me or whatever.
379
00:17:41,805 --> 00:17:46,939
No, um, it was purely
circumstantial, you know,
380
00:17:46,964 --> 00:17:49,189
because of the dead body at the...
381
00:17:49,214 --> 00:17:51,179
Right.
382
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,209
You know, when you kissed me,
383
00:17:59,723 --> 00:18:01,962
that, that felt like my first time.
384
00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:07,261
All the things that
you're supposed to feel,
385
00:18:07,264 --> 00:18:10,212
I-I felt them... last night.
386
00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:16,267
Well, if we're being
honest with each other,
387
00:18:16,439 --> 00:18:19,040
this is sort of like my first time, too.
388
00:18:20,712 --> 00:18:23,845
I mean it's not, I've kissed
like a thousand people but...
389
00:18:24,276 --> 00:18:27,859
nobody that I... cared about
390
00:18:27,884 --> 00:18:30,314
or... respected...
391
00:18:30,691 --> 00:18:33,689
or thought was nice.
392
00:18:36,559 --> 00:18:40,741
So in a way, it's like we're
both starting something new.
393
00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:44,823
Thank you, David.
394
00:18:46,435 --> 00:18:47,769
And hey, for the record,
395
00:18:47,837 --> 00:18:50,748
I-I also respect you and think
that you're a good person.
396
00:18:50,773 --> 00:18:51,960
Hmm.
397
00:18:53,776 --> 00:18:55,343
It's just I said nice person.
398
00:18:55,411 --> 00:18:57,412
- I know.
- Oh.
399
00:19:00,684 --> 00:19:02,483
I just need you to say nice person.
400
00:19:02,552 --> 00:19:05,184
- You're a good person.
- That's not nice.
401
00:19:13,942 --> 00:19:16,937
Well, hello everyone, welcome.
402
00:19:17,514 --> 00:19:22,251
Welcome. Hope you're enjoying
the cinnamon buns and vodka.
403
00:19:23,984 --> 00:19:29,873
We thought it was festive in
a... Scandinavian sort of way.
404
00:19:29,898 --> 00:19:32,680
Uh, well what a wonderful opportunity
405
00:19:32,749 --> 00:19:37,952
for all the guests to uh,
get to know each other.
406
00:19:40,886 --> 00:19:43,206
Anyone from out of town?
407
00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:48,095
Well, that makes sense.
408
00:19:48,098 --> 00:19:51,090
You're all staying at the motel.
409
00:19:54,103 --> 00:19:57,238
Um, oh Frank, Frank... Frank is here.
410
00:19:57,307 --> 00:20:00,318
Frank who works at a quarry.
411
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:04,645
Did you bring some rocks
in for the kids, Frank?
412
00:20:05,218 --> 00:20:07,415
No, I didn't bring any rocks.
413
00:20:07,897 --> 00:20:10,101
No rocks? Well.
414
00:20:10,134 --> 00:20:13,336
John, the gentlemen outside
need a few more minutes.
415
00:20:14,791 --> 00:20:18,125
Well, I hope the motel
has been servicing...
416
00:20:18,128 --> 00:20:21,362
Well hello, all of you. Hello, hi.
417
00:20:21,430 --> 00:20:25,763
Isn't this a glittering
sea of hopeful faces.
418
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:28,833
My lovely wife, Moira.
419
00:20:29,356 --> 00:20:32,574
- We wanna go outside.
- Outside.
420
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:36,077
Well of course you do, who
doesn't want to go outside?
421
00:20:36,145 --> 00:20:41,132
But it's also important to
cherish what's going on inside.
422
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,284
It's times like these that reminds one
423
00:20:43,286 --> 00:20:45,419
of the fact that we're all still alive.
424
00:20:45,969 --> 00:20:48,189
Don't you dare take that for granted.
425
00:20:48,257 --> 00:20:50,491
One day you're asking
for an anti-inflammatory,
426
00:20:50,493 --> 00:20:52,827
the next day you've
passed away in your sleep!
427
00:20:52,896 --> 00:20:55,029
I think we're getting a
little off-topic, sweetheart.
428
00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:59,015
The point being, no one
knows when we're going to die!
429
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,902
Or be implicated in,
430
00:21:00,970 --> 00:21:03,437
and then suddenly cleared
of someone else's death.
431
00:21:04,974 --> 00:21:07,642
So, so, drink up! Go outside!
432
00:21:07,710 --> 00:21:09,944
And live your lives!
433
00:21:10,012 --> 00:21:12,680
And thank you all for
spending this hour with us.
434
00:21:12,748 --> 00:21:15,583
I hope you enjoyed the
complimentary refreshments.
435
00:21:15,585 --> 00:21:17,262
Okay, people, let's
leave the cups inside.
436
00:21:17,286 --> 00:21:19,989
We're not in Vegas, here. Thank you.
437
00:21:20,130 --> 00:21:23,418
... Synced and corrected by ChrisKe ...
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