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1
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(HOWLING)
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(LISPING) Hollywood,
the city of the cinema at last!
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Home of fame, fortune, and Lauren Bacall!
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Woo-hoo! I love you!
5
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I adore you!
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(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
7
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Not so fast!
8
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(EXCLAIMS)
9
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You're such a sneak!
10
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(SCOFFS)
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Good morning, Miss Davis.
12
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So you think I'm mean, do you?
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You think I'm cruel, mad, selfish,
domineering!
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Good morning. Well, you're right.
I'm all this and heaven, too.
15
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Good morning, Mr. Weissmuller.
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(SHOUTING)
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(SINGING)
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When my dreamboat comes home
19
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Say, who are you supposed to be,
anyway?
20
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Peasant!
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For your sole information, I am
the Academy Oscar, and J.L. is waiting.
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Oh! Thinks he's so smart. I'll show him!
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(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
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(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
25
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Step right this way, folks, for the most
stupendous studio tour in Hollywood.
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It's colossal! Gigantic!
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Watch your step, son.
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Cut it out!
Don't be such a crazy. I don't wanna go!
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Take your hands off! Stop!
30
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Sorry, folks, no more. Full bus!
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And on your left observe the sequestered
quarters of the cinema stars.
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Those are the conditions that prevail!
33
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And here we have a studio gate cop!
34
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Notice the cruel, close-set eyes.
The criminal jaw line.
35
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Observe particularly
the carnivorously cannibalistic cranium
36
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which is insensible to injury.
37
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You can strike it, smash it, smack it!
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Oops!
39
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Well, fancy meeting you here!
40
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(LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY)
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(HUMMING)
42
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Darn it, I'll never get one of those Oscars.
43
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Why, this is amazing!
You're just the type we've been looking for.
44
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Ah, that profile! Them looks!
45
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What's Errol Flynn got
that you haven't got?
46
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Don't answer that!
47
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I'll bet you're only saying that
because it's true.
48
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First, a little lipstick.
49
00:05:02,022 --> 00:05:03,990
Now for some finishing touches.
50
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Now the script!
51
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All you have to do is run up that road
and jump over that wall, understand?
52
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Quiet! Quiet on the set!
53
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Let's have it quiet! Quiet, everybody!
54
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Quiet! Quiet every... Ah, shut up!
55
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DAFFY: Action!
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(CRASHING)
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(DAFFY CHUCKLING)
58
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Well, that's that!
Now to continue my tour.
59
00:06:03,517 --> 00:06:07,248
Now, you little buttinsky, you!
I'm going to...
60
00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:09,482
Take your hands off of me!
61
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I came here to see stars
and I ain't leaving till I see them, see?
62
00:06:13,894 --> 00:06:17,295
Well, for goodness' sake,
why didn't you tell me?
63
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I could show you all the stars.
64
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You could, chum, buddy,
pal, brother, friend?
65
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You honest and truly could?
66
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Sure! Here!
67
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Oh, gee, look at all the pretty stars!
68
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There's Hedy Lamarr, Alexis Smith and
Dorothy Lamour, and Baby Snooks.
69
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And sufferin' succotash, it's Ann Sheridan!
70
00:06:48,438 --> 00:06:52,988
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