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1
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Hey, Alice! Come here, baby...
2
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and see what your ever-Ioving husband
and provider has brought you.
3
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Are you kidding, Ralph?
4
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- A hunk of old stale cheese.
- Well, what did you expect?
5
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That's the last morsel of food left
in the joint since the people moved out.
6
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And I had to get that the hard way.
7
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Cut it out, Ralph. You're gonna live.
8
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But how do you expect us to live
with no food in the dump?
9
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Somebody will move in and...
10
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And find a couple of dead mice.
11
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I ought to belt you one.
12
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Hello, Ralphie-boy, new people moving in.
13
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Hey, no kidding?
14
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Come on, we go have a look-see
in the kitchen.
15
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Gee, get a load of the icebox.
16
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Alice, you ought to see
what they're moving in.
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Like having Greenblatt's Delicatessen
right next door to us.
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Yeah, everything for the kitchen but a cat.
19
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There'll be feasting tonight, Ralphie-boy.
20
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Alice, my queen, break out
the monogrammed Crumden silver.
21
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We are gonna have a banquet.
22
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All quiet on the western front, Ralph.
Let's go get the groceries.
23
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Wait a minute, Martin, I'll get the grub.
24
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I am not in the mood
for mustard ice cream and kreplachs.
25
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You wait here.
26
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What's wrong with
mustard ice cream and kreplachs?
27
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Hey, Ralph, what's the matter?
28
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- Cat.
- You better tell me, Ralph.
29
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- Tell me, Ralph, what's the matter?
- Martin, I'm trying to tell you...
30
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- there's a cat in the kitchen.
- Cat?
31
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Can't be no cat, Ralph.
32
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I don't see no cat, Ralph.
33
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But I feel his presence.
34
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That's a fine time to go to pieces, Martin.
35
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Now, come on, pull yourself together.
36
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We gotta put our heads together
and outsmart that cat.
37
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I've seen better heads on a glass of beer.
38
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I gotta admit, Martin,
every once in a while, you know...
39
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you come up with an idea
that makes sense.
40
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Gee, thanks, you're a good kid.
That's good, Ralph.
41
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Don't tell me there's a market
for canned slob?
42
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Very funny, Alice. Very funny.
43
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One of these days, Martin,
one of these days...
44
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- Well, Alice, how do you like it?
- What is it?
45
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No doubt you have heard
of the Trojan horse?
46
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Well, this here is the Trojan dog.
47
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Yeah, beware of French poodles
bearing gifts, huh, Ralph?
48
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Martin, you are a mental case.
49
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Oh, for heaven's sake, Ralph,
why don't you just...
50
00:04:02,829 --> 00:04:04,922
Why don't you just shut up?
51
00:04:05,799 --> 00:04:08,131
Come on, Martin, let's get going.
52
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- Pilot to co-pilot, contact.
- Contact.
53
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- Full speed ahead.
- Roger. Over and out.
54
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All right, Martin, get with it.
55
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- One sardines.
- One sardines.
56
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One ice cream.
57
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One ice cream. Fish a la mode.
58
00:04:49,609 --> 00:04:51,736
Where's them olives, Martin?
59
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Here's a pimento as a memento.
60
00:04:55,582 --> 00:04:58,574
Great. I'll press it in a book.
61
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Pickles and rice.
62
00:05:01,721 --> 00:05:04,417
Pickles and rice, all very nice.
63
00:05:07,027 --> 00:05:10,758
Okay, Martin,
we got enough chow for a week.
64
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Well, we better get going.
65
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- Contact.
- Contact.
66
00:05:18,905 --> 00:05:21,032
Hey, Ralph, we got company.
67
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Hey, Ralph, let's get out of here!
68
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Jeez, what a grouch.
69
00:05:37,323 --> 00:05:39,518
Ralph, like I've been trying to tell you...
70
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why don't you just get rid of the cat?
71
00:05:42,228 --> 00:05:46,358
Hey, Martin, why don't we
just get rid of the cat?
72
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:50,097
Yeah, Ralph, why don't we
just get rid of the cat?
73
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I ought to...
74
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Well, Mrs. Crumden, if it's so simple,
why don't you do it?
75
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All right, I will, Ralph.
76
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Shut up!
77
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Now, beat it! Scram!
78
00:06:25,905 --> 00:06:28,499
Okay, boys, go gather your groceries.
79
00:06:28,741 --> 00:06:32,199
One of these days, Alice,
one of these days...
80
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Right in the kisser.
81
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- Come on, Martin.
- Yeah, sure, Ralph.
82
00:06:39,719 --> 00:06:40,981
Alice...
83
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you're the greatest.
84
00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:49,786
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