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1
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Let's see now. Through Azusa,
turn left at Cucamonga...
2
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till you hit Los Angeles.
3
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Then straight out Wilshire Boulevard
to the La Brea Tar Pits.
4
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Don't look much like Los Angeles to me.
5
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I knew I should of taken that left turn
at Albuquerque.
6
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Look at that horrible monster
attacking that poor old lady!
7
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Have courage, Granny, I'll save you.
8
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He put up a terrific battle, ma'am.
But clean living prevailed.
9
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You've ruined my pipes.
10
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- I'm going to...
- Hey, wait a minute!
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You're no woman, you're a man!
12
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Certain, I'm a man,
and what's wrong with that?
13
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What's wrong? ''What's wrong,'' he says.
14
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You can't go around like that!
It's indecent.
15
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Indecent?
16
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It ain't got no two pair of pants,
but it'll do till you get home.
17
00:02:04,095 --> 00:02:06,723
Now, one good turn deserves another.
18
00:02:06,798 --> 00:02:09,130
Could you point out to me
the shortest route...
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to the La Brea Tar Pits in Los Angeles?
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La Brea Tar Pits?
21
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There are no La Brea Tar Pits in Scotland.
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Scotland?
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What's up, MacDoc?
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It's been in the family for years.
25
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So, McCroary...
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poaching on my property!
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I'm displeased, McCroary.
28
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You shouldn't shoot my rabbits.
29
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Yon bunny rabbit didn't belong to you.
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- It didn't?
- No, it didn't!
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- Wanna bet?
- No!
32
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We'll settle this in true Scots tradition.
33
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- At games.
- Games?
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Okay, pigeon. Sit down.
35
00:03:06,925 --> 00:03:09,917
Nah, we don't play that game.
36
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- Is there another one?
- Golf!
37
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- Golf?
- Aye, golf.
38
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- Choose your weapons.
- Have it your way, Mac.
39
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But don't you get a little tired
running them 18 bases?
40
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Fore!
41
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A hole in one. Not bad.
42
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- Fore!
- Four? Three and a half.
43
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A hole in one?
44
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You little cheater, you four-flusher.
You can't...
45
00:05:12,116 --> 00:05:13,640
Let's see here.
46
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Two.
47
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Two?
48
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,874
- Fifty-five!
- Fifty-five?
49
00:05:41,379 --> 00:05:44,974
The gentleman in the pinafore bids $55.
Do I hear $40?
50
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Going at $55.
51
00:05:47,652 --> 00:05:50,280
- $40!
- Do I hear $25?
52
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Do I hear $10? Do I hear $5? Do I hear $2?
53
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I'll make it $1, and that's my final offer!
54
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One it is.
55
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A hole in one!
56
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Fore!
57
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I win.
58
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- That was a dirty bit of cheating!
- Cheating?
59
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:43,128
That identical situation occurred
in the New Hebrides Open.
60
00:06:43,207 --> 00:06:46,074
Kaduffleblaze versus Fuddle
in 19-aught-18.
61
00:06:46,177 --> 00:06:48,702
And what about Fradis versus Ginfritter?
62
00:06:48,813 --> 00:06:51,805
Bizbo versus Stoigen
in the Casablanca Amateur?
63
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Cheating indeed. The nerve!
64
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'Tis plain that the weight of evidence
is greatly against me.
65
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But you still cannot beat me at the pipes!
66
00:07:09,067 --> 00:07:10,694
Try and top that!
67
00:07:10,744 --> 00:07:15,294
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