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1
00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:15,762
You were havin' happy hour
with your pals the other day...
2
00:00:16,593 --> 00:00:18,463
WAYNE: Bottoms up,
super chieftains.
3
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,174
DAN: Did yous ever wonder
why we tap the glasses twice?
4
00:00:23,199 --> 00:00:24,599
�Two'll do ya.
�I always thought we should tap
5
00:00:24,634 --> 00:00:25,704
three times like in wrasslin'.
6
00:00:25,735 --> 00:00:26,595
That's how
they finish the match.
7
00:00:26,636 --> 00:00:28,806
I prefer throwin' hands
to wrasslin'.
8
00:00:28,838 --> 00:00:30,338
You don't like
sports entertainment, Wayne?
9
00:00:30,372 --> 00:00:32,582
I got a wee bit of time
for sports entertainment.
10
00:00:32,609 --> 00:00:34,579
�Mike the Miz.
�He your favorite?
11
00:00:34,611 --> 00:00:36,251
If you could name
your favorite wrestler,
12
00:00:36,278 --> 00:00:37,648
I will assume
you want to fuck them.
13
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:39,820
�Alexa Bliss.
�There ya go.
14
00:00:39,849 --> 00:00:42,449
Actually, (MIMICKING HULK HOGAN)
brother...
15
00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:44,485
It's well documented
that I'm a Hulkster fan,
16
00:00:44,521 --> 00:00:45,791
(MIMICKING HULK HOGAN)
Brother...
17
00:00:46,388 --> 00:00:47,588
Who's your favorite, Dan?
18
00:00:48,825 --> 00:00:50,455
�I'm listening.
�Trish Stratus.
19
00:00:50,493 --> 00:00:51,833
For what reason?
'Cause she's Canadian?
20
00:00:51,861 --> 00:00:53,461
I can think of a couple
big'ol reasons.
21
00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:54,526
�Like what?
�Well...
22
00:00:54,564 --> 00:00:56,234
Her athleticisms
and integrities.
23
00:00:56,265 --> 00:00:58,065
Wanna know what, I'm not
gonna say he's my favorite,
24
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,300
for reasons aforementioned,
25
00:00:59,335 --> 00:01:00,635
but it's Bret the Hitman Hart.
26
00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:01,800
The whole fuckin'
Hart Foundation
27
00:01:01,838 --> 00:01:03,068
are really good Canadian boys.
28
00:01:03,105 --> 00:01:05,335
I once put my little cousint
into a sharpshooter for calling
29
00:01:05,374 --> 00:01:07,414
Bret the Hitman Hart,
Bret the Hitman Fart.
30
00:01:07,443 --> 00:01:08,483
I always had dreams
of becoming
31
00:01:08,511 --> 00:01:10,351
a professional wrestler.
But I could never come up
32
00:01:10,379 --> 00:01:11,409
with a good ring names.
33
00:01:11,447 --> 00:01:13,177
�Dan Dan Bigelow.
�Macho Dan.
34
00:01:13,215 --> 00:01:15,645
(GIGGLES) Could call ya...
Farty Jannetty.
35
00:01:15,685 --> 00:01:17,445
And then we could be
a tag team like the Rockers.
36
00:01:17,487 --> 00:01:18,717
Oh, that's kind of fun. Okay.
37
00:01:18,755 --> 00:01:20,385
So, if you're gonna be
Farty Jannety,
38
00:01:20,422 --> 00:01:22,192
�who's Dary?
�Think Shawn Michaels.
39
00:01:22,224 --> 00:01:23,864
Put a little mustard
on that fuckin' high kick.
40
00:01:23,893 --> 00:01:25,503
Actually, it's called
the Sweet Chin Music.
41
00:01:25,528 --> 00:01:26,558
I know what it's called, Dary.
42
00:01:26,596 --> 00:01:28,396
More like Yawn Michaels.
43
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:29,430
That was stone cold, Wayne.
44
00:01:29,466 --> 00:01:31,266
DAN: That was a wee bit
Randy Savage, Waynes.
45
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,700
I'm not sure I like
your Attitude Era.
46
00:01:32,735 --> 00:01:34,335
You know what?
This conversation's starting
47
00:01:34,370 --> 00:01:35,710
to make me Wince McMahon.
48
00:01:35,738 --> 00:01:37,338
Who died and made you
Mister Perfect?
49
00:01:37,373 --> 00:01:38,483
Yeah, you're walking around here
50
00:01:38,508 --> 00:01:40,178
like the Big Boss Man sometimes.
51
00:01:40,209 --> 00:01:42,179
I'm gonna come right out and say
it yous two are a bit Rick Rude.
52
00:01:42,211 --> 00:01:43,351
I can't speak for
all of mankind,
53
00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:45,719
but I wish we could get a little
bit more Dude Loves here.
54
00:01:45,748 --> 00:01:49,418
Ha! I'm gonna head to the bar
to play some Jimmy snooker.
55
00:01:49,451 --> 00:01:51,591
Not become a million dollar man
playing billiards.
56
00:01:51,621 --> 00:01:52,591
This is really starting to sound
57
00:01:52,622 --> 00:01:54,722
like a whole lot of
British bullshit to me.
58
00:01:54,757 --> 00:01:56,587
Gettin' a little Rowdy Roddy
Piper over there.
59
00:01:56,626 --> 00:01:58,156
Gettin' a little
Rowdy Ronda Rousey.
60
00:01:58,194 --> 00:01:59,234
Yeah, you gotta be
Koko B. Ware
61
00:01:59,261 --> 00:02:00,161
how you talk
to people sometimes.
62
00:02:00,196 --> 00:02:01,626
You know what? You should
might come at this
63
00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,274
from a different Kurt Angle.
64
00:02:03,299 --> 00:02:04,499
Gotten a bit Mean Gene.
65
00:02:04,534 --> 00:02:05,744
Puttin' on a Big Show.
66
00:02:05,768 --> 00:02:08,568
I can't Paul Bearer much more
of this conversation, so...
67
00:02:10,607 --> 00:02:12,367
I'll offer yous
a Jeff Hardy handshake
68
00:02:12,408 --> 00:02:14,378
and be on my fuckin' way.
69
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,250
Like you know they're your
good pals and everything
70
00:02:16,278 --> 00:02:18,548
but they're also,
at the best of times,
71
00:02:18,581 --> 00:02:21,521
a Randy Orton of Andre
the Giant nut sacks.
72
00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:23,551
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
73
00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:32,129
( BLESSA PLAYING)
74
00:04:29,479 --> 00:04:30,579
JONESY: Bar�upski.
75
00:04:30,613 --> 00:04:31,683
REILLY: Yeah, buddy.
76
00:04:35,351 --> 00:04:36,621
�Bro.
�Dude.
77
00:04:36,653 --> 00:04:39,363
Ready to get on that thing
BROdude told us to do?
78
00:04:39,388 --> 00:04:41,358
�Bro.
�Dude.
79
00:04:41,390 --> 00:04:44,290
The BROdude regional initiative
branding project thing?
80
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:45,326
DAX: I'll brand
your region, buddy.
81
00:04:45,361 --> 00:04:47,901
I'll get my poker all good
and hot for ya, hun.
82
00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:50,030
(QUICKLY MUMBLES) I'm half hot
already, lemme show it to you.
83
00:04:50,066 --> 00:04:52,536
I'll burn my personal mark
right into your ass.
84
00:04:52,569 --> 00:04:54,969
I can't fuckin' wait
I'm so serious right now.
85
00:04:55,004 --> 00:04:56,644
Let's fuckin do it.
86
00:04:56,673 --> 00:04:58,043
I think we've got enough
burning sensations
87
00:04:58,074 --> 00:04:59,544
for a lifetime, boys.
88
00:04:59,576 --> 00:05:01,706
The temples are looking
extra ripped today, boys.
89
00:05:01,744 --> 00:05:02,854
Yeah, gotta get buff for this
90
00:05:02,879 --> 00:05:04,649
super gay birthday party
we're going to.
91
00:05:04,681 --> 00:05:07,321
�Some say the super gayest.
�Fuck me right up the ass, boys.
92
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,379
All new levels of gay.
93
00:05:08,417 --> 00:05:09,917
Let's get all sorts
of fuckin' gay.
94
00:05:09,952 --> 00:05:10,822
Straight up the ass.
95
00:05:10,853 --> 00:05:12,723
Is that a birthday party
that's super gay,
96
00:05:12,755 --> 00:05:14,855
or a birthday party
for a dude that's super gay?
97
00:05:15,892 --> 00:05:16,932
Both.
98
00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:18,799
Hmm. Is it just dudes?
99
00:05:18,828 --> 00:05:21,098
Oh, well, women aren't
not allowed to come.
100
00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:22,600
All dudes?
101
00:05:22,632 --> 00:05:23,802
So, there's no girls to, like,
102
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:25,703
ask you to hold their drink?
Must be nice.
103
00:05:25,735 --> 00:05:27,495
No holding drinks,
just holding dinks.
104
00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:28,667
No waiting for your date
105
00:05:28,705 --> 00:05:30,535
while she takes forever
in the bathroom? Must be nice.
106
00:05:30,573 --> 00:05:32,743
Uh, well, we do take a long time
107
00:05:32,775 --> 00:05:33,975
together in the bathroom
at these parties.
108
00:05:34,010 --> 00:05:36,680
No being forced to go home early
to watch a movie? Must be...
109
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:39,853
Wait. We should do that
for our club, buddy. All dudes.
110
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:40,882
Just dudes?
111
00:05:40,917 --> 00:05:42,487
Well, if it's only dudes,
there'll be no broads
112
00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:44,389
to give us like... tasks.
113
00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:45,690
REILLY: Bro.
JONESY: Dude.
114
00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:48,415
�Club!
�Ferda!
115
00:05:48,457 --> 00:05:50,587
BOTH: BROdude Club Ferda!
116
00:05:50,627 --> 00:05:52,087
A club ferda boys, boys!
117
00:05:52,128 --> 00:05:53,828
A club ferda sponsors, boys!
118
00:05:53,863 --> 00:05:55,503
�Just bros.
�No broads.
119
00:05:55,532 --> 00:05:56,972
�No snipes.
�No skirts.
120
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:59,039
BROdude club ferda!
121
00:06:02,539 --> 00:06:03,539
BOTH: Gay.
122
00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:08,483
Stewart?
123
00:06:08,511 --> 00:06:09,851
I don't want to see anyone.
124
00:06:09,879 --> 00:06:11,679
�TYSON: Stewart.
�(QUIETLY) Roald!
125
00:06:12,448 --> 00:06:14,548
I wanna miss rush hour.
Let's go.
126
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:16,024
Tyson and Joint Boy are here.
127
00:06:17,053 --> 00:06:19,023
I thank ye local prizefighters
128
00:06:19,055 --> 00:06:21,615
for bestowing on me
the pugilistic basics,
129
00:06:21,658 --> 00:06:24,028
the methods, the science...
130
00:06:24,060 --> 00:06:25,660
It's not science.
Just don't get hit.
131
00:06:25,695 --> 00:06:27,495
(SCOFFS) I won't get hit.
132
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:30,670
�K.
�And I, myself won't hit.
133
00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:31,770
Stewart?
134
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,944
I say this
135
00:06:33,970 --> 00:06:35,400
with contrition
136
00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:38,739
and chagrin
137
00:06:38,775 --> 00:06:41,505
but throughout this journey,
I've lost myself.
138
00:06:41,544 --> 00:06:43,054
That's not really
the end of the world, it it?
139
00:06:43,079 --> 00:06:44,579
STEWART: I am a pacifist.
140
00:06:44,614 --> 00:06:47,724
I oppose war, militarism
and any and all violence.
141
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,650
I will not raise my fist
142
00:06:49,686 --> 00:06:51,016
to another man.
143
00:06:51,053 --> 00:06:52,863
�Or woman, right?
�Roald!
144
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,856
Punching is so primitive
and boyish.
145
00:06:56,893 --> 00:06:58,803
Then how're gonna win
this fight, skid?
146
00:06:58,828 --> 00:06:59,698
I've been marathoning
147
00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:02,129
and mainstreaming
WrestleMania's of old
148
00:07:02,164 --> 00:07:03,674
I think I've found
the final layer
149
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,970
of the sweet science
to add to my repertoire.
150
00:07:06,002 --> 00:07:07,642
Again.
151
00:07:07,670 --> 00:07:09,670
Never begin a sentence
with again.
152
00:07:13,876 --> 00:07:15,036
It's so uppity.
153
00:07:15,077 --> 00:07:16,607
It's not science.
Just don't get hit.
154
00:07:16,646 --> 00:07:19,516
Rest assured, that's rooted.
155
00:07:20,449 --> 00:07:23,589
And just because I won't
punch my opponent,
156
00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,760
doesn't mean I can't finish him.
157
00:07:25,788 --> 00:07:28,118
If we hit rush hour,
I'm gonna be pissed.
158
00:07:28,558 --> 00:07:30,928
Behold... Roald?
159
00:07:33,896 --> 00:07:36,096
(ROALD GASPS)
160
00:07:36,132 --> 00:07:38,472
John Cena's Attitude Adjustment.
161
00:07:41,604 --> 00:07:43,044
I believe my intent
is unclouded.
162
00:07:43,072 --> 00:07:45,512
If you try that shit, I will
knock you the fuck out myself.
163
00:07:45,542 --> 00:07:47,912
Take this seriously, skid.
This guy threatened your life.
164
00:07:47,944 --> 00:07:49,584
Don't waste our fuckin' time.
165
00:07:49,612 --> 00:07:51,582
If we drive all the way to
the city and you're not ready.
166
00:07:51,614 --> 00:07:53,184
�I'm ready!
�And I'm ready too, Stewart!
167
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:54,475
�Roald.
�TYSON: Just stay
168
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:55,417
the fuck out of this, Roald.
169
00:07:55,451 --> 00:07:57,251
You don't belong anywhere
near this fight.
170
00:07:57,286 --> 00:07:59,216
Come on. Let's go.
171
00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:00,915
Fuck sakes. I hate the city.
172
00:08:00,957 --> 00:08:02,487
JOINT BOY: I fucking hate
rush hour!
173
00:08:10,567 --> 00:08:12,537
You have a good trip
stateside, Katy?
174
00:08:12,569 --> 00:08:15,569
Yeah, it's very cool.
Very cool, very nice.
175
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:17,005
Good day to get out
of the house, I guess.
176
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:20,209
Yeah, that's what cow
was thinking earlier.
177
00:08:20,242 --> 00:08:21,612
Cow got out of her pen
this morning,
178
00:08:21,644 --> 00:08:23,514
and I had to
wrangle her back in.
179
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:26,546
Dary, did you just refer
to one of your cows as "cow?"
180
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:28,116
Can confirm.
181
00:08:28,150 --> 00:08:30,050
They don't have names?
182
00:08:30,086 --> 00:08:31,916
I know what they look like.
I don't need to name them.
183
00:08:31,954 --> 00:08:33,594
Give 'em names. Show 'em love.
184
00:08:33,623 --> 00:08:34,993
Show 'em love
and what it's all about.
185
00:08:35,024 --> 00:08:36,694
�All right?
�Why?
186
00:08:36,726 --> 00:08:38,956
'Cause there's a special place
in heaven for animal lovers.
187
00:08:38,995 --> 00:08:41,855
I'm not sure if I wanna name
barnyard animals.
188
00:08:41,898 --> 00:08:43,068
I don't think I should
really get that close
189
00:08:43,099 --> 00:08:44,229
to something
I'm about to be milking.
190
00:08:44,266 --> 00:08:45,936
Depends what you're milking.
191
00:08:45,968 --> 00:08:48,038
Giving animals names
is like the most fun part.
192
00:08:48,070 --> 00:08:49,670
Come on, let's name your cows.
193
00:08:49,706 --> 00:08:51,966
�No.
�So, you want to poop the party.
194
00:08:52,008 --> 00:08:52,978
No, I don't wanna
poop the party.
195
00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:55,079
�No one likes a poopy pants.
�Still a hard no.
196
00:08:55,111 --> 00:08:57,281
And bing, bang, boom,
let's name some cows.
197
00:08:57,313 --> 00:08:58,553
Calcium Klein.
198
00:08:58,581 --> 00:08:59,681
Milken Laumenn.
199
00:08:59,716 --> 00:09:00,646
Jack Blacktose.
200
00:09:00,683 --> 00:09:02,153
Do yous name
all the animals you encounter?
201
00:09:02,184 --> 00:09:03,824
Oh, I think it's pretty
fuckin' obvious
202
00:09:03,853 --> 00:09:05,793
you leavin' a good time
on the table if you don't.
203
00:09:06,823 --> 00:09:07,763
Even pigs?
204
00:09:07,790 --> 00:09:09,560
How many good times
we've had naming pigs?
205
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,092
Countless good times
naming pigs.
206
00:09:11,127 --> 00:09:12,857
I love naming pigs.
207
00:09:12,895 --> 00:09:14,595
I'm surprised we're not
naming pigs right now.
208
00:09:14,631 --> 00:09:16,301
�Kevin Bacon.
�Piggy Pop.
209
00:09:16,332 --> 00:09:18,002
The Notorious P. I. G.
210
00:09:18,034 --> 00:09:19,104
The Pig Lebowski.
211
00:09:19,135 --> 00:09:21,065
�WAYNE: Jon Hamm.
�Hamela Anderson.
212
00:09:21,103 --> 00:09:22,943
�Beto O'Pork.
�Ham Rockwell.
213
00:09:22,972 --> 00:09:24,972
�Hammy Hagar.
�Ginu�swine.
214
00:09:25,007 --> 00:09:26,077
Porker Posey.
215
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,138
Jason Boar.
216
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:28,976
ALL: Hmm.
217
00:09:29,011 --> 00:09:31,211
Bet yous name all the ducks
in your pond too, eh?
218
00:09:31,247 --> 00:09:33,777
Dary, if you wanna exclude
ducks, I don't care to know ya.
219
00:09:33,816 --> 00:09:35,716
�Duck Norris.
�Duck Showalter.
220
00:09:35,752 --> 00:09:37,622
�Uncle Duck.
�Feather Locklear.
221
00:09:37,654 --> 00:09:38,824
Duck Bill Clinton.
222
00:09:38,855 --> 00:09:40,715
�Quack Morris.
�Quack Nicholson.
223
00:09:40,757 --> 00:09:41,887
Quackrine Zeta Jones.
224
00:09:41,924 --> 00:09:44,634
�Nickelquack.
�Mad Quacks: Fury Road.
225
00:09:44,661 --> 00:09:46,861
Quack Klansmen:
A Spike Lee joint.
226
00:09:46,896 --> 00:09:47,996
(GIGGLES)
227
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:51,699
When you get them all
in a group,
228
00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:53,344
do you call 'em
The Mighty Ducks?
229
00:09:54,971 --> 00:09:56,241
(CHUCKLES)
230
00:09:58,007 --> 00:09:59,207
Oh, duck me.
231
00:10:04,246 --> 00:10:06,246
REILLY: McMurray.
JONESY: Mrs. McMurray.
232
00:10:06,282 --> 00:10:08,022
�You.
�The other one.
233
00:10:08,050 --> 00:10:09,350
How do you feel about clubs?
234
00:10:09,385 --> 00:10:11,045
McMURRAY: How do I feel
about clubs?
235
00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:12,217
Boys, boys, boys.
236
00:10:12,254 --> 00:10:14,164
I'll have you know you're
speaking with a sitting member
237
00:10:14,190 --> 00:10:17,130
of the Kinsmen, Kiwanis
and Comancheros clubs.
238
00:10:17,159 --> 00:10:18,959
�Legion member too, baby.
�Hmm�hmm.
239
00:10:18,995 --> 00:10:22,125
How do you feel about
crushing BROdudes?
240
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,774
Love suckin' BROdudes.
241
00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,100
Suckin' BROdudes and vodka.
242
00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:28,144
It says not to mix with alcohol
on the can, but...
243
00:10:28,170 --> 00:10:29,810
I'm a big fuckin' girl
that's all I know.
244
00:10:29,839 --> 00:10:31,239
Oh, you're my big fuckin' girl.
245
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:34,405
Well, I'm all growns up
that's what I always say.
246
00:10:34,443 --> 00:10:36,383
I love it when you say that.
Makes my pants tight.
247
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:38,152
(GAGS)
248
00:10:38,180 --> 00:10:39,750
McMURRAY: That's enough, baby.
That's your job.
249
00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:42,690
BOTH: We weren't talking to you.
250
00:10:44,153 --> 00:10:45,393
You better start
skatin' backwards.
251
00:10:45,421 --> 00:10:46,991
That's for sure guaranteed.
252
00:10:47,023 --> 00:10:49,963
We're starting a club,
just for the boys, boys.
253
00:10:49,992 --> 00:10:52,702
It's called BROdude Club Ferda.
254
00:10:52,729 --> 00:10:54,299
�Ferda.
�Ferda.
255
00:10:56,232 --> 00:10:58,272
You're starting a club,
256
00:10:58,300 --> 00:11:00,800
just for men, and you don't
want any girls in it?
257
00:11:00,837 --> 00:11:02,397
Just for men, boys.
258
00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:06,038
You, you, yous lookin'
to suck each other's dicks
259
00:11:06,075 --> 00:11:07,905
�in this club or something?
�JONESY: No!
260
00:11:07,944 --> 00:11:10,014
We're just tired of gals
telling us to hold their purse.
261
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:11,409
Yeah.
262
00:11:11,447 --> 00:11:12,717
Hold their purse?
263
00:11:12,749 --> 00:11:14,679
Yeah. Or, like,
hold their drink.
264
00:11:15,351 --> 00:11:16,391
Hold my drink.
265
00:11:16,418 --> 00:11:18,018
It'd be a fucking honor
to hold your drink, baby.
266
00:11:19,455 --> 00:11:22,155
Yous... Cancers!
267
00:11:22,191 --> 00:11:24,731
Do you think you can
come into this cunt's kitchen
268
00:11:24,761 --> 00:11:25,631
and tell her she can't join
269
00:11:25,662 --> 00:11:27,132
your club 'cause
she ain't got a cock?
270
00:11:27,764 --> 00:11:29,104
Well, kinda.
271
00:11:31,267 --> 00:11:32,697
Every party has three things.
272
00:11:34,203 --> 00:11:35,203
Booze,
273
00:11:36,272 --> 00:11:37,272
ice,
274
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,040
and women.
275
00:11:39,776 --> 00:11:40,806
Hallelujah.
276
00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:44,013
And since you two seem
to have none of the three,
277
00:11:44,046 --> 00:11:47,046
sounds like the shittiest club
I ever heard of.
278
00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:48,823
So, beat it.
279
00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:51,421
And take your cans of boy juice
280
00:11:51,453 --> 00:11:55,093
and shove 'em up
your bleached assholes.
281
00:11:55,124 --> 00:11:57,094
Now yous boys ever wanna
start a club full of ladies,
282
00:11:57,126 --> 00:11:58,326
you give me a call now, okay?
283
00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,200
That's my kinda fuckin' party.
284
00:12:00,229 --> 00:12:03,999
Oh. Let's have
an all�girl party, baby.
285
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:05,273
McMURRAY: You wanna have
an all�girl party, baby?
286
00:12:05,301 --> 00:12:07,101
MRS. McMURRAY: Let's get some
girls over and start a party.
287
00:12:07,136 --> 00:12:08,366
Oh, let's get 'em all over here.
288
00:12:12,008 --> 00:12:13,078
BOTH: Can we come?
289
00:12:14,310 --> 00:12:15,480
We weren't talking to you.
290
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:18,546
(HORSE NEIGHING)
291
00:12:18,581 --> 00:12:20,251
STEWART: When do you think
is the best time in a fight
292
00:12:20,282 --> 00:12:21,882
to put someone
into a sharpshooter?
293
00:12:21,918 --> 00:12:23,488
Uh, it's a finishing move,
Stewart.
294
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,990
�Fuck off.
�Me?
295
00:12:25,021 --> 00:12:26,761
�No.
�The People's Elbow?
296
00:12:26,789 --> 00:12:28,289
�Fuck off.
�Me?
297
00:12:29,191 --> 00:12:30,231
Yes.
298
00:12:30,259 --> 00:12:31,859
It's UFC moves, or nothing.
299
00:12:31,894 --> 00:12:34,504
You gotta be like Chuck Lidell
but dirty as hell.
300
00:12:34,531 --> 00:12:36,131
You gotta be like
Georges St�Pierre
301
00:12:36,165 --> 00:12:39,065
�but pull his hair.
�Fine. Gawd.
302
00:12:39,101 --> 00:12:40,541
TYSON: We know you can deke,
duck, dodge.
303
00:12:40,570 --> 00:12:41,600
Don't get hit.
304
00:12:41,638 --> 00:12:43,438
But you'll need to pop him
to finish this thing.
305
00:12:43,473 --> 00:12:47,043
�Take this seriously, skid.
�I am�uh! Gawd.
306
00:12:47,076 --> 00:12:48,276
But most importantly,
307
00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,550
remember all the hard work.
308
00:12:49,579 --> 00:12:51,449
All the time in the gym
gettin' yoked.
309
00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,821
All the sacrifices you made
to get here.
310
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,050
The discipline it took.
311
00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:58,123
You two...
312
00:12:59,055 --> 00:13:00,385
Behemoths make a good point.
313
00:13:02,024 --> 00:13:03,134
And I want to thank you
314
00:13:03,159 --> 00:13:06,229
for all the regimental
information that I've absorbed
315
00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:08,362
for this upcoming fracas.
316
00:13:08,397 --> 00:13:09,527
Well, we're proud of you.
317
00:13:10,066 --> 00:13:11,196
Stewart.
318
00:13:12,268 --> 00:13:13,298
You're...
319
00:13:15,538 --> 00:13:17,468
Proud of me?
320
00:13:17,507 --> 00:13:20,477
Yeah. You're sticking up
for yourself and your girls.
321
00:13:20,510 --> 00:13:21,580
TYSON: Fuckin' snipes.
322
00:13:21,611 --> 00:13:23,411
You've got some nuts
taking this on.
323
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:24,575
It takes a man to put in
this amount of work
324
00:13:24,614 --> 00:13:26,024
into something he believes in.
325
00:13:26,048 --> 00:13:27,118
Nailed it.
326
00:13:27,149 --> 00:13:29,049
So, go get 'em, kid.
327
00:13:30,086 --> 00:13:31,086
Make us proud.
328
00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:33,364
�Stewart.
�Roald.
329
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,530
(FIGHTING TEARS)
That, uh, means a lot.
330
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,300
Coming from you two. It's...
331
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,200
It's, uh...
332
00:13:42,231 --> 00:13:43,831
(CHOKING)
333
00:13:47,336 --> 00:13:48,396
That backfired.
334
00:13:48,437 --> 00:13:49,937
Skids gonna skid, I guess.
335
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,610
So are we ready to rumble?
336
00:13:52,642 --> 00:13:54,482
�Just stay the fuck out of this.
�Hey!
337
00:13:54,511 --> 00:13:56,851
I have taken down
bigger guys than you.
338
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:59,519
And I've taken down
bigger guys than you.
339
00:13:59,549 --> 00:14:01,279
How the fuck are you
still pissing?
340
00:14:01,317 --> 00:14:02,447
I'm not!
341
00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:13,302
Query! What if we arrive
342
00:14:13,329 --> 00:14:16,569
and my nemesis is protected
by rows of henchpeople?
343
00:14:16,599 --> 00:14:18,199
Mmm, we'll clear that path,
344
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:19,904
but the big boss belongs to you.
345
00:14:21,337 --> 00:14:24,537
Stick to the plan.
Don't try to be a hero.
346
00:14:24,574 --> 00:14:26,944
Your opponent tires himself out
and he's vulnerable,
347
00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,607
�pop him.
�Finish it.
348
00:14:29,646 --> 00:14:30,876
(IN MORTAL KOMBAT VOICE)
Finish him!
349
00:14:30,913 --> 00:14:31,953
�Roald!
�(SOFT VOICE) Whoopsie.
350
00:14:31,981 --> 00:14:33,121
Worry not!
351
00:14:33,149 --> 00:14:34,349
No wrestling bullshit?
352
00:14:35,652 --> 00:14:38,862
Zero wrestling maneuvers.
353
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:42,190
I shan't let you down.
354
00:14:44,627 --> 00:14:46,157
Because I refuse
355
00:14:47,196 --> 00:14:48,896
to let down a friend.
356
00:14:55,404 --> 00:14:58,314
'Cause I mean,
we are friends, right?
357
00:14:58,675 --> 00:14:59,905
Got rips?
358
00:15:00,543 --> 00:15:01,983
(HORSE NEIGHING)
359
00:15:03,646 --> 00:15:04,676
Buddies.
360
00:15:04,714 --> 00:15:06,324
Let's call it pals for now.
361
00:15:07,249 --> 00:15:08,949
Wondrous!
362
00:15:11,488 --> 00:15:14,358
I'm still not having any of this
naming of barn animals.
363
00:15:14,390 --> 00:15:16,460
Why do we have to go
anthropomorphizing them?
364
00:15:16,493 --> 00:15:17,633
So, you can just toss out
365
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:20,330
a Reach For the Top
word like that,
366
00:15:20,362 --> 00:15:22,972
yet your first meal
of the day today was...
367
00:15:22,999 --> 00:15:24,599
�Brefakst.
�Outstanding.
368
00:15:25,101 --> 00:15:26,941
Where does it end?
369
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:29,439
Rodents? Would you have
names for rats?
370
00:15:29,472 --> 00:15:31,312
I saw Rat Dennings
just this morning.
371
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:32,680
I've seen Ratt Williams too.
372
00:15:32,709 --> 00:15:33,609
Every morning I say hello
373
00:15:33,643 --> 00:15:35,713
to my barnyard friend
Emily Ratajkowski.
374
00:15:35,745 --> 00:15:37,445
�Ratt Damon.
�Ratt Dillon.
375
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,180
�Ratt Leblanc.
�Rat in the Hat.
376
00:15:39,215 --> 00:15:40,715
�Rat Benetar.
�Rattie Labelle.
377
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:42,350
And, you know what, Dary,
I call bullshit on you
378
00:15:42,384 --> 00:15:44,654
not having warm feelings
for farm animals.
379
00:15:44,687 --> 00:15:46,517
Seem to remember
you naming the pony
380
00:15:46,556 --> 00:15:48,526
at your super soft
birthdays every year.
381
00:15:48,558 --> 00:15:50,228
Don't bring
Pony Danza into this.
382
00:15:50,259 --> 00:15:52,189
Just as long as you
don't forget Pony Hawk.
383
00:15:52,228 --> 00:15:53,998
�Or Pony Romo.
�Poney M.
384
00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:55,060
Poni Mitchell.
385
00:15:55,097 --> 00:15:56,167
I miss Pony Curtis.
386
00:15:56,198 --> 00:15:58,498
Yeah, I think he was
in the pen with Pony Bennett.
387
00:15:58,535 --> 00:15:59,535
I'd have a beer.
388
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:04,940
Can you drive?
389
00:16:04,974 --> 00:16:07,214
I wouldn't call that
a great idea. Katy?
390
00:16:07,243 --> 00:16:09,313
�Chivalry's dead then?
�WAYNE: Dary?
391
00:16:09,345 --> 00:16:10,375
Take the riding mower.
392
00:16:10,412 --> 00:16:12,082
WAYNE: Holy Chrysler.
393
00:16:12,114 --> 00:16:13,424
Better tuck that bottom lip in
394
00:16:13,449 --> 00:16:15,349
before a bird comes by
and poops on it.
395
00:16:15,384 --> 00:16:18,094
(SCOFFS) What, you guys have
names for birds, too?
396
00:16:19,388 --> 00:16:21,218
�Crow Pesci.
�Scarlett Crowhansson.
397
00:16:21,257 --> 00:16:23,187
�WAYNE: G.I. Crow.
�Blue Jay Baruchel.
398
00:16:23,225 --> 00:16:24,725
�Frasier Crane.
�Steven Seagull.
399
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:28,465
How about... Robin Williams?
400
00:16:28,498 --> 00:16:29,568
(CHUCKLES)
401
00:16:33,335 --> 00:16:34,635
See now, I kinda miss him.
402
00:16:34,671 --> 00:16:36,111
�(KATY SIGHS)
�DAN: Too soon.
403
00:16:40,076 --> 00:16:41,576
Slap me some dick skin!
404
00:16:41,611 --> 00:16:45,151
I'll slap you all right,
ho, hey now.
405
00:16:45,181 --> 00:16:46,521
�Dick skin.
�Dickins.
406
00:16:46,549 --> 00:16:49,649
We are starting
a BROdude Club Ferda.
407
00:16:49,686 --> 00:16:51,746
�Just boys, buddy.
�Just buds, bro.
408
00:16:51,788 --> 00:16:53,388
So you're telling me
I'm not gonna be seeing
409
00:16:53,422 --> 00:16:54,462
(IN AUCTIONEER CHANT) Katy,
Christa, Kathleen,
410
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:55,691
Karen, Chloe, Camila
411
00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:59,255
Catherine, Caroline, Carli,
Casey, Kaitlyn...
412
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,055
How you doing today, my lady?
413
00:17:01,097 --> 00:17:03,497
Don't you just wanna have
a party with your bros, buddy?
414
00:17:07,436 --> 00:17:08,806
�Dick skin?
�Dickins. Say you fellas
415
00:17:08,838 --> 00:17:10,638
ever go on these dating apps?
416
00:17:10,673 --> 00:17:12,743
It's no slim pickin's
for Jim Dickins.
417
00:17:12,775 --> 00:17:14,475
I've got dates coming up with
418
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,211
(IN AUCTIONEER CHANT) Marlee,
Marlena, Mary, Meg, Magda,
419
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:18,275
Melody, Molly, Madeline, Mya,
420
00:17:18,314 --> 00:17:21,354
Michelle, Michaela, Mackenzie,
Maggie, Maggie�May...
421
00:17:21,383 --> 00:17:23,523
I think I got
something to say to you.
422
00:17:23,553 --> 00:17:25,193
Well, think about all the things
423
00:17:25,221 --> 00:17:27,491
you won't have to put up with
at the BROdude Club Ferda.
424
00:17:27,524 --> 00:17:29,164
Like paying for two bills,
425
00:17:29,191 --> 00:17:30,561
or holding your gal's purse.
426
00:17:30,593 --> 00:17:31,693
I love being on dates.
427
00:17:31,728 --> 00:17:32,728
(IN AUCTIONEER CHANT)
Holding purses, holding doors,
428
00:17:32,762 --> 00:17:34,332
holding myself accountable,
for all that I do.
429
00:17:34,363 --> 00:17:35,733
Fuck this, buddy.
430
00:17:35,765 --> 00:17:38,795
Making a men only club
is so hard!
431
00:17:40,302 --> 00:17:41,372
GLEN: Is it?
432
00:17:44,273 --> 00:17:46,543
Hard? Is it getting there?
433
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,610
Is it getting harder.
434
00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:53,448
Is it...
435
00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:56,353
So hard sometimes
you just wanna burst?
436
00:17:56,385 --> 00:17:57,815
I can't lose these balls again.
437
00:17:57,854 --> 00:17:59,824
I'll get in
so much trouble with Gail.
438
00:17:59,856 --> 00:18:01,416
But seriously,
can I join your club?
439
00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:02,527
I've got ideas.
440
00:18:04,794 --> 00:18:06,434
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
441
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,402
Aly�cat. Bianca�donk.
442
00:18:12,434 --> 00:18:13,474
You guys work here now?
443
00:18:13,503 --> 00:18:14,473
Dealer can't run us out if we're
444
00:18:14,504 --> 00:18:16,344
�employed by the establishment.
�Felicitous.
445
00:18:16,372 --> 00:18:17,742
He'll be here
with his crew soon.
446
00:18:17,774 --> 00:18:19,444
�Paramount.
�BIANCA: Now that you guys are
447
00:18:19,476 --> 00:18:22,136
here to TCB, we are
back in business, baby.
448
00:18:22,178 --> 00:18:23,208
(LOUDLY) You got rips?
449
00:18:23,245 --> 00:18:24,445
�Hey!
�Little louder meathead.
450
00:18:24,481 --> 00:18:26,221
Six people in here
might not have heard you.
451
00:18:26,248 --> 00:18:28,218
�Use the code words.
�What code words?
452
00:18:28,250 --> 00:18:29,750
�We're bartenders.
�We make drinks.
453
00:18:29,786 --> 00:18:31,546
�One drink in particular.
�Pina Coladas.
454
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:32,788
�K.
�BIANCA: Take the first letter
455
00:18:32,822 --> 00:18:35,292
of what you want and sub it
in for the "p" in Pina Colada.
456
00:18:35,324 --> 00:18:36,864
�JOINT BOY: I don't get it.
�I'm shocked.
457
00:18:36,893 --> 00:18:39,133
Take our signature green G.
G�nicoladas.
458
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:40,831
Technically GHB�nicoladas.
459
00:18:40,863 --> 00:18:42,263
Cocaine? C�nicoladas.
460
00:18:42,298 --> 00:18:43,868
�Molly?
�Ecstasy. E�nicoladas.
461
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,600
�What else you got?
�ALY: LSD�nicoladas.
462
00:18:45,635 --> 00:18:47,165
�BIANCA: PCP�nicoladas.
�Mushrooms?
463
00:18:47,203 --> 00:18:48,243
Zoomie�nicoladas.
464
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,570
�Speed?
�Amphetami�nicoladas.
465
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:50,806
Dexedri�nicoladas.
466
00:18:51,941 --> 00:18:54,181
�Crystal?
�Methamphetami�nicoladas.
467
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:56,280
�Anesthetics?
�Ketami�nicoladas.
468
00:18:56,312 --> 00:18:57,482
Resplendent.
469
00:18:57,514 --> 00:18:58,854
Your boy and his crew
will be here in 30.
470
00:18:58,881 --> 00:19:00,281
ROALD: I'll be ready.
471
00:19:00,316 --> 00:19:01,546
You stay out of it.
472
00:19:01,584 --> 00:19:03,254
�Let's have a bump.
�C�nicoladas?
473
00:19:03,285 --> 00:19:04,815
�Quick key bump.
�Key�nicoladas.
474
00:19:04,854 --> 00:19:06,624
�I'll refrain.
�Stewart.
475
00:19:06,656 --> 00:19:08,586
Roald!
476
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:11,385
I must. There is war
on the horizon.
477
00:19:11,961 --> 00:19:13,601
I shan't be impaired.
478
00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:14,930
After though?
479
00:19:14,964 --> 00:19:16,674
�After?
�You'd have a bump?
480
00:19:16,699 --> 00:19:17,729
C�nicoladas?
481
00:19:17,767 --> 00:19:19,367
After I'd have a bump, yeah.
482
00:19:19,401 --> 00:19:21,371
�Quick key bump?
�Key�nicoladas?
483
00:19:21,403 --> 00:19:23,313
After I'd have
a key bump or two, yeah.
484
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,740
Stewart.
485
00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:26,705
BOTH: Fuckin' idiots!
486
00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,550
(WAYNE GROANS)
487
00:19:33,583 --> 00:19:34,623
DAN: Gonna get that?
488
00:19:34,651 --> 00:19:35,691
WAYNE: Mind your beeswax.
489
00:19:35,718 --> 00:19:36,888
BOTH: Ooh, ooh!
490
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:40,285
Why don't yous go back
to whatever
491
00:19:40,322 --> 00:19:41,622
Boy Luck Club you came from.
492
00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:45,389
BROdude Club Ferda, actually.
493
00:19:45,427 --> 00:19:49,297
It's an exclusive club that's
men�only that we started.
494
00:19:49,331 --> 00:19:51,701
So yous are scared of girls now?
495
00:19:51,734 --> 00:19:53,574
I did a number on you two.
496
00:19:53,603 --> 00:19:55,513
All the BROdude you can crush,
497
00:19:55,538 --> 00:19:57,638
nobody asking you
to hold their purse.
498
00:19:57,674 --> 00:19:59,414
Or making you buy them a drink.
499
00:19:59,441 --> 00:20:00,911
Just bros, buddy.
500
00:20:00,943 --> 00:20:02,283
JONESY: Just buddies, boys.
501
00:20:02,311 --> 00:20:04,211
�BROdude Club.
�Ferda.
502
00:20:04,947 --> 00:20:07,177
So, what do you bros say?
503
00:20:09,451 --> 00:20:10,491
It's pretty gay.
504
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:11,950
�Wayne!
�Dan.
505
00:20:11,988 --> 00:20:14,288
�You can't says that.
�Here's the thing though.
506
00:20:14,323 --> 00:20:16,793
I can say whatever I want.
507
00:20:16,826 --> 00:20:18,496
Yeah, but you're not
expose'ta say gay
508
00:20:18,528 --> 00:20:19,998
when you mean like
stupid or something.
509
00:20:20,029 --> 00:20:21,959
That's awfully presumptuous,
Squirrelly Dan.
510
00:20:21,998 --> 00:20:24,628
Yeah, I'm fairly certain that's
not what he meant, Squirrelly.
511
00:20:24,667 --> 00:20:26,297
Yeah, you gotta stop
being so squirrelly, Dan.
512
00:20:26,335 --> 00:20:29,265
Now look, if I see something
that is, by definition, gay...
513
00:20:29,305 --> 00:20:30,435
What's your definition of gay?
514
00:20:30,473 --> 00:20:33,013
Male dicks penetrating
male butts, for pleasures sake.
515
00:20:33,042 --> 00:20:34,412
Sound definition, good buddy.
516
00:20:34,443 --> 00:20:35,483
For swinging dicks, yeah.
517
00:20:35,512 --> 00:20:37,552
Then I can and will call it gay.
518
00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:38,620
I don't know, good buddies.
519
00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,648
What say I see a male dick
penetrating a male butt,
520
00:20:41,684 --> 00:20:43,454
consensually,
for pleasures sake.
521
00:20:43,486 --> 00:20:45,216
Certainly I can say...
522
00:20:46,523 --> 00:20:48,593
�That's pretty gay.
�Fairs enough.
523
00:20:48,625 --> 00:20:49,785
You calling us gay?
524
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:51,656
�No.
�Good answer, bro.
525
00:20:51,694 --> 00:20:53,264
But your club is super gay.
526
00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,855
You want to come
say that to my face?
527
00:20:54,897 --> 00:20:56,427
Oh, you're such a walnut.
528
00:20:56,466 --> 00:20:58,536
I don't know, I don't wanna put
anything in stone here,
529
00:20:58,568 --> 00:21:00,668
just think I'm well within
my rights to assume that
530
00:21:00,703 --> 00:21:02,373
these two aim to fuck some dudes
531
00:21:02,404 --> 00:21:04,414
up the ass in this
all�male club of theirs.
532
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,370
Which is totally fine!
533
00:21:05,407 --> 00:21:07,577
�I got no problem with it.
�Yup, checks out.
534
00:21:07,610 --> 00:21:10,510
Oh, man, I did
such a number on you two.
535
00:21:10,547 --> 00:21:11,847
�Knock�knock.
�Who's there?
536
00:21:11,881 --> 00:21:13,681
Raging boner in my underwear.
537
00:21:13,716 --> 00:21:15,446
We have the floor, boys!
538
00:21:15,485 --> 00:21:16,845
We're recruiting here, boys!
539
00:21:16,886 --> 00:21:18,856
�For your men�only club?
�Super gay.
540
00:21:18,888 --> 00:21:20,858
�There ya go.
�RON: More to that,
541
00:21:20,890 --> 00:21:22,830
you guys wanna come to
a super gay birthday party?
542
00:21:22,859 --> 00:21:23,989
Some say the super gayest.
543
00:21:24,026 --> 00:21:25,456
Fuck me right up the ass, boys.
544
00:21:25,495 --> 00:21:26,525
All new levels of gay.
545
00:21:26,563 --> 00:21:28,433
(GRITTED TEETH) Let's get
all sorts of fuckin' gay.
546
00:21:28,465 --> 00:21:29,895
�Straight up the ass.
�Are women allowed?
547
00:21:29,932 --> 00:21:31,532
�Always.
�You can watch.
548
00:21:31,568 --> 00:21:33,038
�Okay.
�Am I allowed?
549
00:21:33,069 --> 00:21:34,939
�Why not?
�Would I do all right at this?
550
00:21:34,971 --> 00:21:36,971
I think you would do
really well.
551
00:21:37,006 --> 00:21:38,836
�Gonna be Puppers?
�Yeah, ya like Puppers?
552
00:21:38,875 --> 00:21:40,805
�Gonna be Gus N' Bru?
�Yeah, ya like Gus N' Bru?
553
00:21:40,843 --> 00:21:41,843
Here we go now.
554
00:21:43,112 --> 00:21:44,712
Yous two coming to this
super gay birthday party
555
00:21:44,747 --> 00:21:46,477
or are you scared of gays
like you're scared of girls?
556
00:21:46,516 --> 00:21:47,576
(RON GASPS)
557
00:21:47,617 --> 00:21:48,547
I think we need to find a new
558
00:21:48,585 --> 00:21:50,945
regional initiative
branding project, buddy.
559
00:21:50,987 --> 00:21:52,787
Can't fight the majority, bro.
560
00:21:52,822 --> 00:21:53,962
�Dude.
�Ferda.
561
00:21:56,926 --> 00:21:59,056
(TECHNO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
40994
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