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1
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:16,291
Well, you seen some pretty
outrageous things in your life,
2
00:00:16,321 --> 00:00:20,461
but nothin' more outrageous than
what you seen the other day.
3
00:00:20,492 --> 00:00:22,702
Favorite superhero, go.
Hmm, Superman.
4
00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:23,998
Wonder Woman.
Batman.
5
00:00:24,029 --> 00:00:25,259
Deadpool.
Why Batman?
6
00:00:25,297 --> 00:00:27,297
He's quiet.
Ah, mysterious.
7
00:00:27,332 --> 00:00:29,742
No mystique, big mistake.
8
00:00:30,969 --> 00:00:34,409
Tell them that.
BOTH: Nuhnuh!
9
00:00:35,273 --> 00:00:37,583
Pete and repeat. W5.
10
00:00:37,609 --> 00:00:39,979
Just finished a runski.
Little jogski.
11
00:00:40,012 --> 00:00:41,752
Little sprintski.
A little trotski.
12
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:43,820
Good film.
You don't wanna see this?
13
00:00:43,849 --> 00:00:46,249
WAYNE: I smell body spray,
so I know it can't be good.
14
00:00:46,284 --> 00:00:47,424
Alexander.
15
00:00:47,452 --> 00:00:52,292
Confucius say a man who stand
on toilet is high on pot.
16
00:00:52,324 --> 00:00:53,434
What do you think
about these two?
17
00:00:53,458 --> 00:00:55,958
They're not gonna get
any chicks dressing like gays.
18
00:00:55,994 --> 00:00:57,504
What if they are gay?
19
00:00:57,529 --> 00:00:58,859
Then they're definitely
not gonna get any chicks now.
20
00:00:58,897 --> 00:01:01,027
Your junk looks like it wants
to shake my hand.
21
00:01:01,066 --> 00:01:02,996
You stuffed a winter glove
down there?
22
00:01:03,035 --> 00:01:06,235
Looks like a Ziploc baggie
full of carrot sticks to me.
23
00:01:06,805 --> 00:01:08,065
Small price to pay
24
00:01:08,106 --> 00:01:11,476
for the scientific competitive
edge, boys. Compression tights.
25
00:01:11,509 --> 00:01:14,349
We're over here decreasing
wind resistance by 2%,
26
00:01:14,379 --> 00:01:16,309
you're sitting
over there like suckers.
27
00:01:16,348 --> 00:01:18,648
You're decreasing your manhood
by a significantly...
28
00:01:18,684 --> 00:01:19,994
BOTH: ...larger percentage.
29
00:01:20,018 --> 00:01:21,818
A significantly larger
percentage, yeah.
30
00:01:21,854 --> 00:01:24,064
All right, let me get to the
bottom of this... Holy fuck!
31
00:01:24,089 --> 00:01:26,689
Give me one good reason why you
wanna go running in tights
32
00:01:26,725 --> 00:01:28,055
with your junk
bouncin' about.
33
00:01:28,093 --> 00:01:29,833
Give me one good reason
why we shouldn't.
34
00:01:29,862 --> 00:01:31,732
WAYNE: Want two?
Even better.
35
00:01:31,764 --> 00:01:33,474
Women and children.
36
00:01:33,498 --> 00:01:36,028
Tights are for girls.
Compression tights.
37
00:01:36,068 --> 00:01:37,898
They hold your muscles
firmly in place
38
00:01:37,936 --> 00:01:40,906
while improving
blood flow to the muscles.
39
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:42,979
So, Lululemon comes along.
40
00:01:43,008 --> 00:01:45,038
Revolutionizes
the female ass game.
41
00:01:45,077 --> 00:01:48,577
Dudes say they love it because
they secretly want to wear it?
42
00:01:48,613 --> 00:01:49,983
These are nothing
like Lululemons.
43
00:01:50,015 --> 00:01:52,075
They're exactly
like Lululemons.
44
00:01:52,117 --> 00:01:53,787
Okay, yeah, but they're
not Lululemons.
45
00:01:53,819 --> 00:01:54,719
WAYNE: If it
looks like a duck
46
00:01:54,753 --> 00:01:56,523
and quacks like a duck...
They're not!
47
00:01:56,554 --> 00:01:57,664
What if they are?
48
00:01:57,690 --> 00:01:59,420
Then they're definitely not
gonna get any chicks now.
49
00:01:59,457 --> 00:02:01,887
They're for increased athletic
performance, boys.
50
00:02:01,927 --> 00:02:03,827
But we can see
your junk, boys.
51
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,602
That's actually not
from the tights.
52
00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:08,030
Uh, we're also wearing this new
kind of underwear called Bagz.
53
00:02:08,066 --> 00:02:09,696
WAYNE: They're coming' land,
sea and air.
54
00:02:09,735 --> 00:02:11,365
Army, Navy, Air Force, baby.
55
00:02:11,403 --> 00:02:12,573
Separates your dink
from your balls.
56
00:02:12,604 --> 00:02:13,774
And your balls from your leg.
57
00:02:13,806 --> 00:02:14,836
To avoid chafing.
58
00:02:14,873 --> 00:02:16,683
Dudes chafe?
WAYNE: No.
59
00:02:16,709 --> 00:02:18,979
(SCOFFS) Try running
in compression tights, bud.
60
00:02:19,011 --> 00:02:19,981
WAYNE: No!
61
00:02:20,012 --> 00:02:22,012
How do they separate
your balls from your leg?
62
00:02:22,047 --> 00:02:23,117
You put on your gitch, right?
63
00:02:23,148 --> 00:02:25,348
Just like any other day.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
64
00:02:25,383 --> 00:02:26,793
But with Bagz,
when you pull 'em up,
65
00:02:26,819 --> 00:02:28,489
you drop your balls
into a hammocklike pouch.
66
00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:30,020
(POPS TONGUE)
67
00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:31,155
Yeah, you just set 'em in there,
like... (POPS TONGUE)
68
00:02:31,189 --> 00:02:33,459
And you just drop your balls
in the pouch right there.
69
00:02:33,491 --> 00:02:34,531
Yeah, you just station
them in there,
70
00:02:34,559 --> 00:02:35,489
like... (POPS TONGUE)
71
00:02:35,527 --> 00:02:37,727
But that makes your junk
stick out even more?
72
00:02:37,763 --> 00:02:39,433
You tell me, KatyKat.
73
00:02:39,464 --> 00:02:40,834
WAYNE: All right, so you wanna
74
00:02:40,866 --> 00:02:42,426
You throw on some tights.
75
00:02:42,467 --> 00:02:43,697
Compression tights.
76
00:02:43,736 --> 00:02:45,566
Junk's out there.
Women and children.
77
00:02:45,603 --> 00:02:47,013
Increased athletic performance.
78
00:02:47,039 --> 00:02:49,539
WAYNE: And then you put on
some special underwear
79
00:02:49,574 --> 00:02:50,784
with a pouch for your balls...
80
00:02:50,809 --> 00:02:52,679
Just set them in there.
(POPS TONGUE)
81
00:02:52,711 --> 00:02:54,711
Yeah, just drop your balls
in the little pouch right there.
82
00:02:54,747 --> 00:02:56,007
WAYNE: That make your junk
83
00:02:56,048 --> 00:02:58,018
stick out more.
Oh, that's it, boys.
84
00:02:58,050 --> 00:02:59,580
That's the dagger.
85
00:03:01,419 --> 00:03:03,459
KATY: (SOFTLY)
Oh, God.
86
00:03:04,990 --> 00:03:08,160
No mystique,
big mistake.
87
00:03:08,193 --> 00:03:10,403
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
88
00:03:16,935 --> 00:03:17,865
You're early.
89
00:03:17,903 --> 00:03:19,443
If you're not 10 minutes
early, you're late.
90
00:03:21,506 --> 00:03:24,506
Very cool. Very nice.
Fuck you.
91
00:03:24,542 --> 00:03:27,412
Pardon?
Not you. Guy behind you just
92
00:03:27,445 --> 00:03:30,175
farmerspit on the carpet.
Unusual business as usual.
93
00:03:30,215 --> 00:03:31,715
I hear you're taking
your little cousin
94
00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,650
to Quebec
for his 18th birthday.
95
00:03:33,686 --> 00:03:35,986
That okay?
Just making conversation.
96
00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:38,792
Why Quebec?
97
00:03:39,825 --> 00:03:41,025
Well, he's turning 18.
98
00:03:41,059 --> 00:03:43,429
The legal drinking age
in Quebec is 18,
99
00:03:43,461 --> 00:03:46,131
so, do the math.
100
00:03:46,164 --> 00:03:48,634
Fuck off!
What's that?
101
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:51,536
Not you. Girl behind you
just cropdusted.
102
00:03:52,738 --> 00:03:56,568
Very gnarly. Very gnarly,
very unnecessary.
103
00:03:56,608 --> 00:03:58,978
Unusual business,
as usual.
104
00:03:59,011 --> 00:04:01,451
Anything else calling
your name in Quebec?
105
00:04:01,479 --> 00:04:03,679
Poutine? Smoked meat?
106
00:04:04,850 --> 00:04:06,950
Nope.
Best strippers in Canada.
107
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,815
Okay, is that to me
or someone behind me?
108
00:04:08,854 --> 00:04:10,424
ROSIE: Cousin.
Cousin.
109
00:04:10,856 --> 00:04:12,786
Dierks.
110
00:04:12,825 --> 00:04:15,055
How are ya now?
WAYNE: Good, and you?
111
00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:23,238
I am fuckin' dying
for a piece of you.
112
00:04:23,268 --> 00:04:24,698
Oh, hi, big daddy.
113
00:04:24,737 --> 00:04:26,837
I am just
dying to get you.
114
00:04:29,808 --> 00:04:30,938
Katy.
115
00:04:30,976 --> 00:04:33,046
Movie starts in five,
big shoots.
116
00:04:34,546 --> 00:04:35,776
PitterPatter.
117
00:04:42,955 --> 00:04:44,915
Everybody in your town likes me
except for you, cute butt.
118
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:46,187
Chew on that. Zoot.
119
00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:50,500
I don't like that dude.
I don't like that dude.
120
00:04:52,831 --> 00:04:53,701
I don't like that dude.
121
00:04:53,732 --> 00:04:57,142
Well, ain't no reason
to get excited.
122
00:05:04,609 --> 00:05:05,709
I know you're just
doing that
123
00:05:05,744 --> 00:05:06,814
to bug me.
What's that?
124
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,620
Stop doing that.
Stop doing what?
125
00:05:10,648 --> 00:05:13,818
You didn't even read that page.
Which page?
126
00:05:13,852 --> 00:05:15,952
(CHUCKLING) Stop that!
Sorry?
127
00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:17,158
You're missing your book.
128
00:05:17,189 --> 00:05:18,919
I've read this book
several times, so...
129
00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:21,232
Not missing much.
130
00:05:21,259 --> 00:05:22,659
Must be a pretty
good book.
131
00:05:22,695 --> 00:05:24,495
Oh, it's a great
book, it's...
132
00:05:25,197 --> 00:05:26,797
The Black Donnellys.
133
00:05:31,704 --> 00:05:34,314
I like how those pants fit.
It's a good pant.
134
00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:35,739
Good pants?
135
00:05:35,774 --> 00:05:37,044
Why, is there more
than one pant?
136
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:38,235
It's a pair of pants.
137
00:05:38,276 --> 00:05:40,076
Oh, the gal at the store
called it a pant.
138
00:05:40,112 --> 00:05:42,212
Well, that's a gal who should
know they're called pants.
139
00:05:42,247 --> 00:05:44,047
One time she
called it a jean.
140
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,982
Bet she liked
how that jean fit too.
141
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:48,018
Katy thought she was a lesbian.
Hmm.
142
00:05:50,956 --> 00:05:52,216
(GROANS)
143
00:05:54,793 --> 00:05:56,193
She still trying
to get in your pant?
144
00:05:57,662 --> 00:05:59,002
Okay, maybe it is pants.
145
00:06:00,966 --> 00:06:02,526
Tough go, eh?
Yep.
146
00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:04,535
Getting any easier?
147
00:06:06,371 --> 00:06:07,611
Yep.
148
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:11,639
We going?
149
00:06:11,677 --> 00:06:13,777
Well, I got chorin'
to do first, so...
150
00:06:13,812 --> 00:06:15,752
I got two strong hands.
I can help.
151
00:06:15,781 --> 00:06:17,351
Well, more hands
make less work.
152
00:06:17,382 --> 00:06:18,882
Prove it.
153
00:06:18,917 --> 00:06:20,887
Oh, what, so after that,
we go over there together?
154
00:06:21,987 --> 00:06:23,817
Don't threaten me
with a good time.
155
00:06:25,023 --> 00:06:26,263
So, what would
you say if like...
156
00:06:27,292 --> 00:06:28,862
We started going, like,
157
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:31,928
most places together.
158
00:06:32,798 --> 00:06:35,298
I'd say, PitterPatter.
159
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,973
Good enough.
But let's get at 'er.
160
00:06:37,002 --> 00:06:38,072
Big day in Letterkenny.
161
00:06:38,103 --> 00:06:39,713
Yep. It's...
162
00:06:40,405 --> 00:06:41,935
Day beers day!
Day beers!
163
00:06:41,974 --> 00:06:43,114
Day beers!
Day beers!
164
00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:44,181
Day beers!
Day beers!
165
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:45,339
Day beers!
Nose beers!
166
00:06:45,377 --> 00:06:46,607
Stewart!
167
00:06:46,644 --> 00:06:48,314
Happy day beers day,
tout le monde!
168
00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:50,376
Already got a pint
of gin in the cocksucker.
169
00:06:50,415 --> 00:06:53,245
I think you've had more like
a fish bowl of gin there.
170
00:06:53,285 --> 00:06:55,345
More like a salad bowls of gins.
171
00:06:55,387 --> 00:06:57,787
More like a waste paper
bakset full of gin.
172
00:06:57,823 --> 00:06:59,063
Attaboy.
173
00:06:59,091 --> 00:07:01,161
One of these days, we'll just
fill up the bathtub with gin.
174
00:07:01,193 --> 00:07:03,403
Skip the middle man!
Uhoh. McMurray's hammered.
175
00:07:03,428 --> 00:07:04,798
I know what that means.
176
00:07:04,830 --> 00:07:06,160
I'm out.
Where's you goings?
177
00:07:06,198 --> 00:07:07,868
Dierks took his cousin
to Quebec
178
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,970
for his 18th birthday,
and they just got back,
179
00:07:10,002 --> 00:07:12,942
so I'm headed stateside to help
them with their hangovers.
180
00:07:12,971 --> 00:07:14,371
That's something that
girlfriends do, right?
181
00:07:14,406 --> 00:07:16,066
I really wouldn't know.
182
00:07:16,108 --> 00:07:17,378
Caesars?
You bet.
183
00:07:18,243 --> 00:07:19,313
Why Quebec?
184
00:07:19,344 --> 00:07:21,414
Best strippers on earth
in Quebec.
185
00:07:21,446 --> 00:07:23,316
The legal drinking
age is 18.
186
00:07:23,348 --> 00:07:25,748
Plus you can touch 'em!
Touch what?
187
00:07:26,118 --> 00:07:27,118
The tits.
188
00:07:27,152 --> 00:07:28,992
You can suck on 'em
nine of 10 titty bars too.
189
00:07:30,989 --> 00:07:33,229
Okay, I'll bite.
Have you ever done that?
190
00:07:33,258 --> 00:07:37,158
(BOTH LAUGH)
191
00:07:37,195 --> 00:07:38,395
McMURRAY:
Have we ever done?
192
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:43,168
Okay, boys.
Picture this.
193
00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:44,271
I want you
to picture this.
194
00:07:44,302 --> 00:07:46,342
Mrs. McMurray and I
are getting a couples lapper.
195
00:07:47,372 --> 00:07:50,782
So I got both hands
on one tit!
196
00:07:50,809 --> 00:07:53,049
And I'm suckin' on it.
I want you to picture this.
197
00:07:53,078 --> 00:07:54,448
I said, "This is something."
198
00:07:54,479 --> 00:07:56,009
I said, "Baby,
what do you think of this?"
199
00:07:56,048 --> 00:07:57,748
I said I've never seen
anything like it, baby.
200
00:07:57,783 --> 00:08:01,693
And before I know it, she's got
two hands on the other tit.
201
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:02,890
And she's sucking on it.
202
00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:04,161
I said, "What do you
think of this, baby?"
203
00:08:04,189 --> 00:08:05,959
I said,
"I won't soon forget it."
204
00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:07,291
Yeah, that's my cue.
205
00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:10,957
Gailer! Pitcher of Beefeater!
206
00:08:10,996 --> 00:08:12,426
DAN: Drive safe,
Miss Katy.
207
00:08:12,464 --> 00:08:13,974
REILLY AND JONESY:
Nuhnuh!
208
00:08:13,999 --> 00:08:15,829
JONESY: Where's
she going?
209
00:08:15,868 --> 00:08:17,398
Why?
Morning, lovely!
210
00:08:17,435 --> 00:08:19,065
REILLY: I was gonna
take a run at her.
211
00:08:19,104 --> 00:08:20,274
I was gonna take
a big run at her.
212
00:08:20,305 --> 00:08:22,105
Youse twos are the worst.
213
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,480
I was gonna
gun it, buddy.
214
00:08:23,508 --> 00:08:24,938
Sometimes you just
gotta gun it, boys.
215
00:08:24,977 --> 00:08:26,107
Fuckin' gun it, buddy.
216
00:08:26,144 --> 00:08:27,254
Gun it straight
across the room.
217
00:08:27,279 --> 00:08:29,849
Ah, you guys are out of luck.
Katy's got a new dude.
218
00:08:29,882 --> 00:08:30,952
Huh?
JONESY: Who?
219
00:08:30,983 --> 00:08:32,893
A guy named Dierks.
From Michigan.
220
00:08:32,918 --> 00:08:35,718
A Yank?
I fuckin' hate Yanks.
221
00:08:35,754 --> 00:08:39,164
MEN: Oh, Bonnie McMurray.
222
00:08:39,191 --> 00:08:40,931
Beers?
MEN: Day beers!
223
00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:43,364
REILLY: Take a run
at her, boys.
224
00:08:43,395 --> 00:08:45,295
Take a big run at her.
225
00:08:45,330 --> 00:08:48,070
You are so beneath her
at this point, peasants.
226
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:50,370
I would love
to be. Ha!
227
00:08:50,402 --> 00:08:52,502
And Katy wouldn't even
fuck you with my dick.
228
00:08:52,537 --> 00:08:54,207
(SCOFFS) I wouldn't
want her to anyway.
229
00:08:54,239 --> 00:08:55,769
Well, don't knock it
till you've tried it.
230
00:08:55,808 --> 00:08:56,838
I never do.
231
00:09:01,113 --> 00:09:02,753
Did you guys hear
Katy's dating a Yank?
232
00:09:05,884 --> 00:09:07,224
(POPPIN' PLAYING)
233
00:09:19,531 --> 00:09:20,771
You gonna move
your bum?
234
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:23,200
Move your bum.
235
00:09:26,905 --> 00:09:29,975
You don't want
me to go? (COOING)
236
00:09:32,277 --> 00:09:33,777
Okay.
237
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:38,483
All right. Go and get
so I can get it.
238
00:09:39,952 --> 00:09:41,052
Get!
239
00:09:45,523 --> 00:09:46,793
Mmm, day beers!
Day beers!
240
00:09:46,825 --> 00:09:47,955
Day beers!
Day beers!
241
00:09:47,993 --> 00:09:50,333
Nose beers!
Stewart!
242
00:09:51,864 --> 00:09:52,974
What do you got
against Yanks, Reilly?
243
00:09:52,998 --> 00:09:56,428
I fuckin' hate Yanks.
Yeah, we've established that.
244
00:09:56,468 --> 00:09:59,038
Yank teams would come up
from Michigan and Ohio
245
00:09:59,071 --> 00:10:00,311
to play in our tournaments
growing up,
246
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,108
and they were stacked.
They shit kicked us.
247
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,580
You guys are usually
losing though, no?
248
00:10:03,608 --> 00:10:04,708
REILLY: This is
different, though.
249
00:10:04,743 --> 00:10:07,113
A team from Detroit would have
a Dman from New York,
250
00:10:07,145 --> 00:10:10,215
a tendy from Boston,
and a sniper from Minnesota.
251
00:10:10,248 --> 00:10:13,418
They'd all fly in
thrice a week for practice,
252
00:10:13,451 --> 00:10:14,991
then they'd come up
and shit kick us.
253
00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:16,150
Religious fellas?
254
00:10:16,188 --> 00:10:18,318
What?
It sounds like they gots some monies.
255
00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,256
Wasn't fair.
256
00:10:19,291 --> 00:10:21,131
It was their best players
in their country
257
00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:22,589
versus the best players
in our county.
258
00:10:22,627 --> 00:10:24,897
I also hate Yanks!
259
00:10:24,930 --> 00:10:26,000
Whys do youse hate Yanks?
260
00:10:26,531 --> 00:10:28,301
(BOTH SCOFFING)
261
00:10:30,869 --> 00:10:32,809
(BEATBOXING RHYTHMICALLY)
262
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:38,410
Yanks were the first to steal
and catalogue your online data.
263
00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:40,483
Every website you've
ever been to,
264
00:10:40,512 --> 00:10:42,882
every subject you've
ever searched,
265
00:10:42,915 --> 00:10:44,915
every porno you
ever watched...
266
00:10:44,950 --> 00:10:46,050
ROALD: Every text
you've ever sent.
267
00:10:46,084 --> 00:10:50,194
Yanks know it and have it
and, one day, will leak it.
268
00:10:50,222 --> 00:10:51,922
Hence our venture into the...
BOTH: Dark web.
269
00:10:51,957 --> 00:10:52,957
Where'd you read that?
270
00:10:52,991 --> 00:10:56,061
Well, I read it at
www.theresawebsite.com/idiot.
271
00:10:56,094 --> 00:10:59,364
Www.pullyourfinger
outtayourass.ca.
272
00:10:59,397 --> 00:11:02,327
Www.afterI.org/asm.
273
00:11:02,367 --> 00:11:07,007
Www.heresthething
.edu/aresparepartsbud.
274
00:11:07,039 --> 00:11:10,509
Did you know that
Yank is kind of not PC now?
275
00:11:10,542 --> 00:11:11,642
Mmm, it's true.
276
00:11:11,677 --> 00:11:14,207
A player in the Ontario
Hockey League got suspended
277
00:11:14,246 --> 00:11:16,946
for calling a European
player a Euro.
278
00:11:16,982 --> 00:11:18,322
Youse can get suspended
for callings
279
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:19,950
a guys from Europes a Euro?
280
00:11:19,985 --> 00:11:21,115
Happened a couple times.
281
00:11:21,153 --> 00:11:23,563
What Yank came up
with that fucking rule?
282
00:11:23,588 --> 00:11:24,918
I got nothin'
against Yanks.
283
00:11:24,957 --> 00:11:26,117
If Canada was in trouble,
284
00:11:26,158 --> 00:11:28,028
they'd be the first ones to come
up and help us get sorted.
285
00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:29,360
Good neighbors.
Good film.
286
00:11:29,394 --> 00:11:31,264
Don't like Dierks though.
Pourquoi?
287
00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:33,196
'Cause Wayne doesn't.
I'm with you.
288
00:11:33,231 --> 00:11:34,631
Don't be a fence sitter.
289
00:11:34,666 --> 00:11:36,296
Yeah, gotta come out
for it one way or another.
290
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:38,474
Yeah, that Yank
better behave himself,
291
00:11:38,503 --> 00:11:39,543
'cause if Katy is in trouble,
292
00:11:39,571 --> 00:11:41,171
I'll fucking
speedbag him, boys.
293
00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:42,466
I'd go to the wall
for that girl.
294
00:11:42,507 --> 00:11:44,177
I'd go through a wall
for that girl.
295
00:11:44,209 --> 00:11:45,479
Full send.
Yep.
296
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:47,380
That's small towns
in a snow globes for yas.
297
00:11:47,412 --> 00:11:49,482
Boy howdy.
Yeah.
298
00:11:49,514 --> 00:11:51,384
We might bicker
with each other on the inside,
299
00:11:51,416 --> 00:11:53,946
but if someone from the outside
comes a knockin'...
300
00:11:53,986 --> 00:11:55,046
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
301
00:12:07,065 --> 00:12:09,225
You didn't have to drive all
the way here to tell me that.
302
00:12:09,267 --> 00:12:10,897
But I did.
Yeah, well.
303
00:12:12,304 --> 00:12:13,314
Can't win 'em all.
304
00:12:14,572 --> 00:12:16,312
It's not the only
reason I'm here.
305
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:18,341
Oh, way...
Is Katy here?
306
00:12:18,376 --> 00:12:19,406
No.
307
00:12:19,444 --> 00:12:22,054
Still with Ol' Long
Dick Dierks?
308
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:25,980
My cousins had his bachelor
party a couple of days ago.
309
00:12:26,018 --> 00:12:27,988
It was in a strip club
in Montreal,
310
00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,160
and I went with the boys.
Good.
311
00:12:30,188 --> 00:12:32,688
There was a Yank
buying everybody drinks.
312
00:12:32,725 --> 00:12:35,725
And our table
eventually joined his table.
313
00:12:35,761 --> 00:12:39,331
And all his friends were saying
how hot his girlfriend was,
314
00:12:39,364 --> 00:12:41,634
and one of them
pulled a picture on his phone.
315
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,044
It was Katy.
316
00:12:44,069 --> 00:12:45,269
Ain't no reason
to get excited.
317
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:46,713
They came in with
a bunch of girls.
318
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,570
And left with
a bunch of girls.
319
00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:52,976
He doing anything
he shouldn't be?
320
00:12:57,282 --> 00:12:58,582
It's been a tough go, eh?
321
00:13:01,619 --> 00:13:02,689
Yep.
322
00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:04,061
Getting any easier?
323
00:13:07,025 --> 00:13:08,025
Yep.
324
00:13:11,129 --> 00:13:12,629
(EXHALES LOUDLY)
325
00:13:13,065 --> 00:13:14,665
Hearing you fellas
talk about Yanks,
326
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:17,400
reminds me of my last
boys trip down McMyrtle Beach.
327
00:13:17,435 --> 00:13:19,195
I ever tell you about
a little girls' trip
328
00:13:19,237 --> 00:13:20,407
down McMayan Riviera?
329
00:13:20,438 --> 00:13:22,138
Next year, she's gonna
be down McMaui.
330
00:13:22,174 --> 00:13:24,084
Next year, she's down
McMontego Bay.
331
00:13:24,109 --> 00:13:26,139
Rooftop, poolside, villas.
332
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:28,608
Well, between us girls?
Between us girls?
333
00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:30,376
I paddle up
to the swimup bar
334
00:13:30,415 --> 00:13:32,715
and there's an ethnic fella
lookin' some comely.
335
00:13:32,751 --> 00:13:35,151
Pool is jam packed
with ethnicities.
336
00:13:35,187 --> 00:13:37,487
This young fella sees me
looking at him,
337
00:13:37,522 --> 00:13:40,092
and he sees me across the bar,
and he can tell
338
00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,755
I'm lookin' for one
right in the twat.
339
00:13:41,794 --> 00:13:43,564
Three guarantees
in life, fellas.
340
00:13:43,595 --> 00:13:45,355
Death, taxes,
341
00:13:45,397 --> 00:13:48,427
and this gal wantin' one
right in the twat.
342
00:13:48,466 --> 00:13:51,036
Next thing I know, he's paddling
around the swimup bar,
343
00:13:51,837 --> 00:13:52,737
what do you think I did?
344
00:13:52,771 --> 00:13:54,011
So I paddle on over
to meet her halfway.
345
00:13:54,039 --> 00:13:56,709
I said, "Young man, ya like
the ass, the tits or the cunt?"
346
00:13:56,742 --> 00:13:58,582
This gal knows a cunt man
when she sees one.
347
00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:00,650
And that's
the right answer.
348
00:14:01,313 --> 00:14:03,323
(ALL LAUGHING)
349
00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:05,516
So she reaches
under the water
350
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:07,320
and starts givin' me
an overthepants handy.
351
00:14:07,352 --> 00:14:10,262
Molestation in some circles,
but this fella is here for it.
352
00:14:10,288 --> 00:14:12,118
So we head on over
to the poolside villa,
353
00:14:12,157 --> 00:14:14,587
close the curtains
and I says to her,
354
00:14:14,626 --> 00:14:16,696
"How about I stuff it
right in your snacker?"
355
00:14:16,729 --> 00:14:18,229
Then one in the snapper.
356
00:14:18,263 --> 00:14:20,073
So we start going
back and forth.
357
00:14:20,098 --> 00:14:21,198
I'm in her...
Snapper.
358
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:23,200
Then he's in my...
Snacker.
359
00:14:23,235 --> 00:14:24,395
Snapper.
Snacker.
360
00:14:24,436 --> 00:14:25,666
Snapper!
Snacker!
361
00:14:25,704 --> 00:14:26,814
(POPS CHEEK)
362
00:14:26,839 --> 00:14:28,169
Till we're both
making a mess.
363
00:14:28,206 --> 00:14:30,276
We made one hell
of a mess in there.
364
00:14:30,308 --> 00:14:31,808
I hope they had a pressure
washer, that's all I know.
365
00:14:31,844 --> 00:14:33,584
They must have had
a pressure washer or something.
366
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:35,711
Mmmhmm.
McMURRAY: Mmmhmm.
367
00:14:37,449 --> 00:14:39,749
DAN: Does Mrs...
McMurray know about this?
368
00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:42,245
Of course.
No secrets between spouses.
369
00:14:44,757 --> 00:14:46,787
You know what
he does sometimes?
370
00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:48,055
He does the cutest
little thing.
371
00:14:48,093 --> 00:14:51,133
I'll go outside the bathroom
door when she's on the shitter.
372
00:14:51,163 --> 00:14:52,303
MRS. McMURRAY: And I'll hear
something outside
373
00:14:53,131 --> 00:14:55,131
that sounds like
a little golf clap.
374
00:14:55,167 --> 00:14:58,167
But it's me standing
out there in the buck, naked,
375
00:14:58,203 --> 00:15:00,373
shaking my hips
back and forth like so...
376
00:15:01,439 --> 00:15:03,579
So his dink smacks
off his thighs.
377
00:15:03,608 --> 00:15:06,138
(CHUCKLES)
(McMURRAY STRAINING)
378
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:09,750
He sounds just like
a little golf clap.
379
00:15:09,782 --> 00:15:12,152
(STRAINING AND
CLAPPING CONTINUES)
380
00:15:13,218 --> 00:15:14,488
BONNIE: Are we
dancing now?
381
00:15:14,519 --> 00:15:16,859
DAN: Yes!
DARYL: That's what we are doing.
382
00:15:16,889 --> 00:15:19,559
BONNIE: Alexander!
Turn up the outside speakers!
383
00:15:19,591 --> 00:15:22,591
(DO IT, TRY IT PLAYING)
28156
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