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1
00:00:22,321 --> 00:00:24,089
[bubbling]
2
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:27,760
Please! Please don't!
Come on, I got a family!
3
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,300
-[screams]
-[splashes]
4
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,897
[realtor] Now, that's just
a staging kill,
5
00:00:30,897 --> 00:00:33,432
but if volcano sacrifices
is your thing,
6
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,301
this is the lair for you.
7
00:00:35,301 --> 00:00:36,993
-I'll take it!
-Great!
8
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,405
-I'll draw up the papers--
-Aah... You know,
on the other hand,
9
00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:42,241
is the giant skull a bit
too flashy for my brand?
10
00:00:42,341 --> 00:00:44,310
Can we see some other options?
11
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:47,447
You'll love this one.
A short getaway from
all the major banks.
12
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:49,383
Sounds like a dream.
Where is it?
13
00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:51,183
[realtor]
You're standing on it.
14
00:00:51,283 --> 00:00:54,621
An intricate system of tunnels
carved by The Mole.
15
00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:58,191
I mean, hey, I love it,
but am I really going
for a "mole lady" vibe?
16
00:00:58,290 --> 00:01:00,259
[sighs] Ah, okay. Next!
17
00:01:00,259 --> 00:01:02,462
[realtor] The last tenant,
Mr. Freeze, did a number
on the place,
18
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,432
but the castle is perfect
for entertaining.
19
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,167
Hmm, not sure my nips
20
00:01:07,266 --> 00:01:08,868
and her buds can handle
this cold.
21
00:01:08,968 --> 00:01:11,203
[sighs] You've seen six lairs.
22
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,572
Okay, thank you.
23
00:01:12,673 --> 00:01:15,676
Let's just discuss this
out of the cold.
24
00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:19,412
A super villain's lair
is a reflection of who
they really are.
25
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,715
So, who
is Harley Quinn?
26
00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,283
That's a hard question to ans--
27
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:25,251
Harls, you got us uniforms!
28
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:28,355
[excitedly] Ooh, Suicide Squad!
Is that our name?
29
00:01:28,454 --> 00:01:30,823
Ugh, it's a group that keeps
trying to get me to join.
30
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,725
I don't want to run lines
with you.
31
00:01:32,825 --> 00:01:35,227
Good!
Because I despise that phrase.
32
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,831
People run marathons,
not lines.
33
00:01:37,932 --> 00:01:40,266
Actors exchange true--
34
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:41,534
Look what Harley got us.
35
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,236
-[Dr. Psycho] Ah! Ah! Come on!
-[sighs]
36
00:01:43,335 --> 00:01:46,239
Ivy, you're evicted!
You and the circus act here
37
00:01:46,338 --> 00:01:49,376
need to move out
faster than sauerkraut
through my lower intestine.
38
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:51,311
[irritated] Yes, Sy!
We're leaving in a minute.
39
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,614
Good. I'm showing
the place to--
40
00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:56,617
[yelling] That just cost you
your security deposit!
41
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,618
You know what,
why don't I come back
another time?
42
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,519
No, sorry, sorry,
don't go. Don't go.
43
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,290
Look, [sighs]
it's just Joker made
the big decisions.
44
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:04,625
Okay. How about we ask you
45
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:06,358
some questions
and maybe that'll help?
46
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:09,295
Worth a shot. Why did you
first become a villain?
47
00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:10,764
Well, you know, it's because--
48
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:12,298
There you go.
You know this answer.
49
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:14,266
-Uh, well...
-You know this.
50
00:02:14,366 --> 00:02:15,836
[sighs] I guess...
51
00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,270
-I don't know.
-Oh, my God.
52
00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:18,806
What villain do you
most admire?
53
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,372
-[irritated] I don't know!
-Harley!
54
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,807
-Chocolate or vanilla!
-I don't know!
55
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:25,444
Harley! I can't help you,
until you tell me
56
00:02:25,444 --> 00:02:27,614
who you are!
57
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:31,251
-I don't know! I don't know!
I don't know! [screams]
-[bone crunches]
58
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:36,657
Oh, shit. Harley?
59
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,825
-Honey, can you hear me?
-[Mr. Psycho grunts]
60
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:41,662
"Dry clean only."
Fuck this.
61
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,497
Okay, who broke Harley?
62
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,564
[theme music playing]
63
00:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,870
Harley, are you in there?
64
00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,838
Dude?
65
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,340
-[Poison Ivy] Whoa! Stop!
-[laughs]
66
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,307
Unmouth her, fiend!
67
00:02:55,407 --> 00:02:56,877
I was just trying
to give her CPR.
68
00:02:56,977 --> 00:02:58,611
Harley, snap out of it!
Come on!
69
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:00,614
Ah! No response
to physical stimuli.
70
00:03:00,713 --> 00:03:02,649
It's probably
a level-four brain freeze.
71
00:03:02,748 --> 00:03:05,251
Psycho, can you fix her?
Like, go in her brain
72
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:06,687
and do the fucking thing.
73
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:09,522
That sounds like something
a doctor could do.
74
00:03:09,622 --> 00:03:12,224
But not someone
you just referred to
as "Psycho."
75
00:03:12,224 --> 00:03:14,627
Ugh, fine,
Dr. Psycho!
76
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,295
[exclaims] Yes!
77
00:03:16,395 --> 00:03:18,264
Can you fix her?
78
00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:21,769
Can I fix her? [laughs]
Of course I can fix her!
79
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,569
I'm just gonna slip
inside her brain,
80
00:03:23,569 --> 00:03:25,104
do my thing, wham-bam,
thank you, ma'am--
81
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,873
and I'm done
in-a two minutes.
82
00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:30,711
Oh, fucking gross! You think
I'm gonna let you creep around
83
00:03:30,811 --> 00:03:32,445
Harley's head without us,
you perv?
84
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:34,981
-Yes! Perv!
-You're the perv!
85
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,418
But, as a professional,
I will tell you to prepare
86
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:41,520
because this is serious,
meticulous, neuron processing
87
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:42,923
we're about to undertake.
88
00:03:43,022 --> 00:03:44,557
Now, everyone hold hands
89
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:49,557
and squeeze
your butt cheeks together.
90
00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:51,030
Ahh!
91
00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:03,157
[all screaming]
92
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,617
-[thudding]
-[screaming]
93
00:04:11,717 --> 00:04:13,787
-Whoa! Everyone okay?
-[grunts]
94
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,756
-Where's Psycho?
-[exclaims]
95
00:04:15,855 --> 00:04:18,492
[grunts]
Dr. Psycho!
96
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:21,028
What an ugly baby
I have birthed.
97
00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:24,396
Does he taste like fudge?
In my dreams,
he does. [giggles]
98
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:27,434
[Poison Ivy] Huh,
Harley's brain is much cleaner
99
00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:29,670
and less Harley-ish
than I would have imagined.
100
00:04:29,769 --> 00:04:34,440
I know! I know. Because this
is her Museum of Memories.
101
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:37,444
Oh! Look.
102
00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:39,478
[Harley imitating female doll]
You came home late again, Nick,
103
00:04:39,478 --> 00:04:41,581
smelling like alcohol
and whore.
104
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,050
[imitates male doll] She's just
a friend from work.
105
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:44,884
Stop breathing down
my neck, Sharon.
106
00:04:44,884 --> 00:04:46,418
[imitates female doll]
Can't breathe down
what's not there,
107
00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:47,821
you cocksucker!
108
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,956
[Laughing]
Mamma mia!
109
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,992
It's pretty good scene work
for a six-year-old.
110
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,829
I am honored to be
the valedictorian,
111
00:04:55,928 --> 00:04:59,899
and I just want to thank
absolutely no one.
112
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,535
-Fuck all of ya!
-[crowd gasps]
113
00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,670
Fuck the principal.
Fuck the shop teacher
114
00:05:03,769 --> 00:05:06,372
that looks at my ass
every time I walk out of class.
115
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:07,807
Yeah, I see you.
116
00:05:07,908 --> 00:05:09,976
-Have a great fucking summer!
-[crowd murmuring]
117
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,379
I basically gave the same
speech at my sister's wedding.
118
00:05:12,478 --> 00:05:14,014
-Ah! Harley!
-Oh, hey, guys.
119
00:05:14,113 --> 00:05:16,583
Wait. How can Harley be in here
120
00:05:16,682 --> 00:05:19,653
if we're in Harley,
and if Harley is--
121
00:05:19,752 --> 00:05:22,355
Yeah, I wouldn't think too hard
about bringing logic
for the next 20 minutes.
122
00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,057
We're just here to give you
a hard reboot.
123
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,625
-[King Shark] Ooh. Ow!
-Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, listen up.
124
00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,495
While I find the switch,
you follow hooker rules.
125
00:05:29,596 --> 00:05:31,130
-No kissing on the mouth?
-I'm sorry.
126
00:05:31,232 --> 00:05:32,499
Stripper rules.
127
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:34,233
Look but don't touch.
128
00:05:34,235 --> 00:05:37,004
The brain will protect itself
if it feels threatened.
129
00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,505
Hey, Ive, I think there's
something really
screwed up about me.
130
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,574
I want to say this in just
the most loving way,
131
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,711
but, there's no way that this
is just occurring to you now?
132
00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:47,480
No, I mean, screwed up on top
of the regular screwed up.
133
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,848
I mean, why can't
I make a decision?
134
00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,584
Well, we're in
your mind right now,
135
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,052
so the answer has
to be here somewhere.
136
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,687
[Harley] Oh, I remember this!
137
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,990
Okay, it's when that bleached
asshole pushed me
138
00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:58,891
and bleached mine.
Look! Look!
139
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,829
Hey, it glitched and skipped
over Joker pushing me.
140
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:05,464
Wha-- It did it again.
Did you see that?
141
00:06:05,564 --> 00:06:06,833
Whoa, that's weird.
142
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,601
It's like a piece
of your memory is missing.
143
00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:11,872
Ive, this is my origin story.
It says so right here.
144
00:06:11,971 --> 00:06:14,774
Look, your origin story's how
you become who you are.
145
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,976
If it's screwed up,
no surprise I am.
146
00:06:17,076 --> 00:06:18,177
Ugh, let me see this.
147
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,579
[laughs]
148
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:22,749
Reboot time. [grunts]
149
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:24,584
Um, I, uh, I wouldn't do that.
150
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:26,052
I wouldn't-- Oh!
151
00:06:26,153 --> 00:06:27,687
-[alarm blaring]
-[grunts]
152
00:06:27,788 --> 00:06:30,490
[exclaims angrily]
No one listens to me!
153
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,091
Who touched something?
Who did it?
154
00:06:32,192 --> 00:06:34,860
Was I not clear about
the stripper rule?
155
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,562
I was just trying
to touch myself!
156
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,031
That is a stripper rule.
157
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:40,600
[grunts] You triggered
a brain lockdown.
158
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,702
We need to get out
of here before--
159
00:06:42,802 --> 00:06:45,672
Ah! Before that happens.
Now we're trapped.
160
00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:48,007
[Sy] Now, this apartment's
a beaut.
161
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:51,610
It's got a lot of light.
Perfect place for a fami--
162
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:53,947
Jesus Christ!
163
00:06:54,048 --> 00:06:56,516
All right, the place isn't
ready. You'll come back
tomorrow. Tomorrow.
164
00:06:56,615 --> 00:06:58,918
Why aren't you moving?
Tomorrow, get out. Get out!
165
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:00,553
-[baby crying]
-You forgot the baby!
166
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,125
All right, let's see now.
167
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:08,961
-Let's see. Why do they print
the numbers so small?
-[dialing]
168
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,531
Black Mamba, this is Gerbil,
it happened again.
169
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:17,737
No, no, no, no. The fuck?
Are we trapped in here?
170
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,206
You need to tell me right now
if we're trapped in here!
171
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:20,908
'Cause I'm gonna freak
the fuck out!
172
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,276
What's gonna happen
to my plants, man?
173
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:23,877
Girl, we need
to get you friends.
174
00:07:23,976 --> 00:07:26,180
"Oh, we wanna come with you.
175
00:07:26,180 --> 00:07:29,216
We're afraid you're gonna
mind molest her!"
176
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,785
Now who's
the mind molesters? You!
177
00:07:31,884 --> 00:07:34,053
-[girl crying]
-You are the mind molesters!
178
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:37,624
Ooh, are you lost, little girl?
179
00:07:37,723 --> 00:07:39,793
No need for tears, munchkin.
180
00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,161
I'll help you find your way.
181
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:42,661
[growls]
182
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,564
Ow! Oh! Oh! Get off me!
Oh, stop!
183
00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:47,860
This little child
is killing me!
184
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,603
[grunts]
185
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,805
Why did that sweet little you
attack me?
186
00:07:52,805 --> 00:07:55,975
Oh, yeah, I wasn't sweet at
that age. Or any age, really,
187
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:58,011
but I was a total shit
back then.
188
00:07:58,011 --> 00:08:00,579
Which is why the brain sent it.
189
00:08:00,579 --> 00:08:02,081
It thinks we're intruders.
190
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,017
And yes, if we die
in Harley's mind,
191
00:08:05,119 --> 00:08:06,887
-we die in real life!
-[bones cracking]
192
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,290
[Clayface] Ooh,
Nightmare on Elm Street
rules.
193
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:15,028
[screaming]
194
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,064
Do you have any insights
on what we should do here?
195
00:08:17,064 --> 00:08:19,266
-Run!
-[Dr. Psycho] Yeah, that's what
I was gonna say.
196
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,800
[screaming]
197
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:22,336
-[Clayface] Exit with alacrity.
-[shrieking]
198
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,173
[shrieking]
199
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:30,076
[Little Harleys shrieking]
200
00:08:30,076 --> 00:08:31,877
Harleys, this is Harley, stop!
201
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,181
[shrieks]
202
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,717
[screaming]
203
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,321
[snarling]
204
00:08:40,421 --> 00:08:43,889
God, I hate brain physics.
205
00:08:43,889 --> 00:08:46,190
Hey, quit it and I'll tell you
where Mom hides the makeup.
206
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,328
[shrieking]
207
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,600
[Harley grunts]
208
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,148
Damn it.
I was sure that was gonna work.
209
00:08:51,148 --> 00:08:52,932
Come on. Stop fucking around
and follow me.
210
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,268
We got an elevator.
211
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:57,303
[Little Harleys screaming]
212
00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,777
You know, in a way,
it's almost, like,
comforting to know
213
00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:05,644
that you've always been
this fucked up.
214
00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:08,248
Yeah, isn't it? You know,
I'm starting to realize
why my mother recycled
215
00:09:08,249 --> 00:09:09,899
so many wine bottles back then.
216
00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:12,152
Fun as this has been,
let's get the fuck out
of here, all right?
217
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:13,899
There should be
an emergency exit
218
00:09:13,899 --> 00:09:15,822
to the real world
in Harley's subconscious
somewhere,
219
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,657
which I think is this button
220
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,158
[effort grunts]
right here.
221
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,360
[grunts]
222
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:22,296
-[growls]
-[screaming]
223
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,664
[grunts]
224
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:30,764
Okay, your stupid fin hit
the wrong button, dummy.
225
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,739
[King Shark] Do not
fin shame me.
226
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,109
[elevator bells dings]
227
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,178
[all exclaim]
228
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:41,315
He must have hit the button
to the optic nerve.
229
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:44,051
Ooh, looking through
the eyes of another.
230
00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:46,052
Now it appears
we're playing by
231
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:48,221
Being John Malcovich
rules.
232
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:50,623
Another suicide cult.
233
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:53,293
If word gets out,
I'll never be able to rent
this fakakta apartment.
234
00:09:53,394 --> 00:09:54,793
So let's make sure it doesn't.
235
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,096
Where's the bleach
and the bone saw?
236
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,166
No, no time for that.
237
00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,201
And I'm not paying
to re-carpet this place.
238
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:04,270
-So we call our explosives guy.
-He exploded.
239
00:10:04,370 --> 00:10:07,874
Well, I guess eventually,
the worms will get us all.
240
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,643
-[Sy] Oy.
-Jesus.
241
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,346
Why not burn down the place
and take the insurance?
242
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,780
A little Jewish lightning
never hurt anyone.
243
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,950
A fire! Brilliant!
244
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,919
We'll burn the bodies
in this old furnace I own!
245
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:21,322
[Golda laughs] Oh, yes!
246
00:10:21,422 --> 00:10:23,990
There's the Sy who armed
Bin Laden in the '80s.
247
00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:25,958
-[chuckles]
-Let's do this.
248
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:28,727
Close slutty Casper's eyes,
will ya?
249
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:30,297
Feels like she's watching me.
250
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,131
Sure thing, baby.
251
00:10:32,231 --> 00:10:33,667
[thuds]
252
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:36,235
I can't believe Sy used
to be like a spy.
253
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,071
-He's so--
-Gross.
254
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,172
-You're looking for gross.
-[Poison Ivy] Yeah, that's it.
255
00:10:39,173 --> 00:10:40,407
What's "Jewish Lightning"?
256
00:10:40,508 --> 00:10:42,942
Perhaps Black Lightning's
Israeli cousin.
257
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,279
Excuse me! But am I
the only one who heard
258
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,981
that they're gonna burn
our fucking bodies?
259
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:54,081
So, stop yapping
and do something!
260
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:02,261
-[elevator dings]
-Harley,
261
00:11:02,363 --> 00:11:04,831
welcome to your subconscious.
262
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:07,201
-Step right.
-Guess your Wi-Fi password.
263
00:11:07,301 --> 00:11:10,136
-Wack-an-insecurity.
-Try your hand at a game.
264
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,004
Take your chance.
Step right up.
265
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,840
Ugh, are you shitting me?
266
00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,174
So I'm gonna go out on a limb
267
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,009
and say you're not
over your ex-boyfriend.
268
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,745
I mean,
are you sure that this glitch
269
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,246
is just
in your origin story?
270
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,317
[chuckles] Yes, you,
young lady,
271
00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:24,783
the one with
the smeared lipstick
272
00:11:24,784 --> 00:11:27,221
who is still clearly
obsessed with me.
273
00:11:27,321 --> 00:11:29,556
Try your luck
at a game of skill?
274
00:11:29,557 --> 00:11:31,424
Win Daddy's Love!
275
00:11:31,424 --> 00:11:33,259
Yeah, don't bother
with that one.
276
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,195
Oh, I know it's rigged.
277
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:37,864
Come on! Everybody, spread out
278
00:11:37,964 --> 00:11:40,200
and just look for
the emergency exit, all right?
279
00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:44,203
[shrieking]
280
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,471
Come on!
281
00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,408
[screaming]
282
00:11:51,245 --> 00:11:53,495
[all screaming]
283
00:11:58,817 --> 00:12:00,921
-[snarling]
-[screaming]
284
00:12:04,024 --> 00:12:05,024
[grunts]
285
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:10,397
[grunts]
286
00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:12,499
[grunts]
287
00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,937
[Harley grunts]
288
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,105
[all scream]
289
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,239
[snarls]
290
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,342
[all screaming]
291
00:12:26,614 --> 00:12:29,515
We are trapped!
What I wouldn't give
292
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,018
for a deus ex machina
right now!
293
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,124
Follow me. I know the way.
294
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:39,393
Sorry, you didn't get
that machina
you were talking about.
295
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:40,961
But at least,
that guy showed up
296
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,163
out of nowhere to save us
for no reason.
297
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,163
[Little Harleys screaming]
298
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:56,208
Hey, hey, this is it!
Thank you for helping us...
299
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,513
whoever the fuck you are.
300
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:02,282
Oh, my God! It's 11-year old
Frankie Muniz!
301
00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:03,517
-Hi, Harley.
-[gasps]
302
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,052
He knows my name.
I could die!
303
00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,321
Yeah, this isn't creepy.
304
00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,921
No, it's not like that at all.
305
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,357
Yeah, you know, I had
a major crush on him
when I was a kid.
306
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,360
Well, I guess that's different.
307
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:16,028
Yeah, you know, I was planning
to kidnap him, marry him.
308
00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,831
Then once we hit puberty,
I was gonna tell him that I was
taking birth control, but then,
309
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,082
like, not take it,
310
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,269
-and I get pregnant
with his kid!
-Mmm-hmm.
311
00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:24,370
-And back to creepy.
-Yeah, I know what's
going on here.
312
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:26,472
He was Harley's truest love.
313
00:13:26,474 --> 00:13:29,176
So, some small,
sane part of her brain sent
314
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,610
her a vision of him to help us.
315
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,613
That's right.
Good luck, Harley.
316
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:34,980
BTW, all those
times you stared at
317
00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,149
my poster in your bedroom,
I was staring back.
318
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,884
-I knew it!
-Take care.
319
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:40,633
Let's go.
320
00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:42,855
There's two geriatrics trying
to burn our bodies
321
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,157
before
NCIS comes on.
322
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,193
[Sy] You know,
I forgot how much fun
323
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:49,929
moving and then
destroying dead bodies is.
324
00:13:50,029 --> 00:13:51,465
Nothing gets the heart racing
325
00:13:51,565 --> 00:13:53,634
[gasps] like one that's stopped
completely.
326
00:13:53,734 --> 00:13:57,638
[chuckles] Ah, Golda.
327
00:13:57,738 --> 00:14:00,974
Do you ever regret not having
spy kids together?
328
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:04,577
Nah. I have normal kids
and normal grandkids.
329
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,647
-I lead a normal life now, Sy.
-[thuds]
330
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,349
Ah, well, what if it's
not too late?
331
00:14:09,450 --> 00:14:12,251
Eh? I still have
my license to kill.
332
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,019
That's your AARP card.
333
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:17,291
Oh! Yeah, well, the kill thing
is in here somewhere.
334
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,024
I may be old, Golda,
335
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:21,562
but there's nothing
I can't handle.
336
00:14:21,662 --> 00:14:23,630
[both chuckle]
337
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:25,532
Well, the neighborhood kids
338
00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:29,101
don't call me Old Scary
Machine Man for nothing.
339
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:32,172
Now, there's a monster for you.
[chuckles]
340
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,539
[grunting]
341
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:35,643
Come on, get that piece
of rust working.
342
00:14:37,076 --> 00:14:38,412
Booyah!
343
00:14:38,511 --> 00:14:40,279
Up! Up! And--
344
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,048
-[engine stops]
-Hey, I'm out of diesel.
345
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:43,616
-[both scream]
-[crash]
346
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:47,086
[Dr. Psycho] Come on, come on.
347
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:49,556
They're probably heating up
the furnace right now.
348
00:14:49,657 --> 00:14:52,000
-Is that--
-Repressed Memory Island? Yeah.
349
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,726
That's where you keep all
your screwed-up memories.
350
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,462
Trust me, you do not want
to go anywhere near it.
351
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,666
Ive, remember the glitch
in my origins story?
352
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,100
Oh, so you think it's like
353
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,467
a repressed memory
or something?
354
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:03,269
Right. And it's on that island.
355
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:04,626
Oh, then we gotta go.
356
00:15:04,626 --> 00:15:07,341
And what did I just say
about going to that island?
357
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,775
We are all going
to be burned to death
358
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:11,177
if we don't leave
your mind right now!
359
00:15:11,177 --> 00:15:13,312
Okay, fine. Then you go.
I'm not leaving.
360
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,115
In the real world
I'm still catatonic,
361
00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:16,482
drooling all over myself.
362
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,451
Okay, she made her choice.
Let's go.
363
00:15:18,552 --> 00:15:20,386
-I'm going with Harley.
-Of course you are.
364
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,654
She's your only friend.
365
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,590
That's true.
But that's by design,
366
00:15:23,591 --> 00:15:26,025
because she's the only
human being I think
is worth a shit.
367
00:15:26,025 --> 00:15:27,994
Hey, Clayface,
how many acting jobs
368
00:15:27,994 --> 00:15:29,596
did you get
before Harley gave you one?
369
00:15:29,697 --> 00:15:31,163
Well, I filled in for the dog
370
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,100
that played Air Bud,
when he was run over
371
00:15:34,201 --> 00:15:37,504
by me the second
to the last day of shooting.
372
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,105
-You know what? I'm in.
-And, Psycho,
373
00:15:39,206 --> 00:15:40,506
who took you in
when literally,
374
00:15:40,506 --> 00:15:42,174
the worst people
on the planet turned you away?
375
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,043
Fine! I'm in.
376
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:47,047
-And, King Shark, let's all
remember the time--
-I'm in!
377
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,447
Oh, thank God,
'cause I had nothing.
378
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:50,383
All right, Doctor,
help your patient.
379
00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:52,251
All right, all right,
all right, I got a plan.
380
00:15:52,351 --> 00:15:55,389
[Little Harleys]
We'll have fun!
Hey, come play with us.
381
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,595
-[all laughing menacingly]
-[indistinct chattering]
382
00:16:01,595 --> 00:16:02,695
[Little Harley] We'll have fun.
383
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,806
Come play with us.
384
00:16:04,806 --> 00:16:07,433
If I go down, I'm taking
all you little shits with me!
385
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:11,238
Whoa! [yelling]
386
00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:13,038
That was not the plan!
387
00:16:13,038 --> 00:16:13,874
[Poison Ivy] We got
your back, Harls.
388
00:16:13,874 --> 00:16:15,609
Oh, you guys.
389
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,309
[all snarling]
390
00:16:18,245 --> 00:16:21,394
[laughing menacingly]
391
00:16:26,754 --> 00:16:28,120
We might be fucked.
392
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:29,590
You guys totally should
have left.
393
00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:32,458
[scoffs] Harley Quinn,
394
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:36,096
it has been the utmost pleasure
to serve in your company.
395
00:16:36,196 --> 00:16:38,163
[Harley] Clayface, no!
396
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,466
[Little Harley 1]
I love you, Frankie.
397
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:40,567
[Little Harley 2]
Give me babies!
398
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,869
[all laughing excitedly]
399
00:16:41,869 --> 00:16:46,869
Well, hello, it is I,
Frankie Muniz!
400
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,475
I love you, Frankie.
401
00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:50,344
[all yelling]
402
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:51,677
Ah, screw this.
403
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:54,277
Now, how the hell are we gonna
get to that island?
404
00:16:57,149 --> 00:17:01,355
I cannot believe this.
I mean, it is just the most
unlikely set of circumstances
405
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:05,358
that would put me
about 70% shark, in a situation
406
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:08,194
that pretty much demands
a mostly shark man.
407
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:09,896
-[King Shark chuckles]
-[Harley] Oh, we made it!
408
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:13,400
Is it me, or is it getting
kind of warm around here?
409
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,404
Sy, the fire's good and hot.
410
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:22,075
Then what are we waiting for!
Let's get to cremating!
411
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,242
Cremate!
412
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,311
♪ Crem-ing in the at-ing ♪
413
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:27,180
♪ And we're at-ingin the crem-ing ♪
414
00:17:27,279 --> 00:17:28,515
♪ We''re going in the fire ♪
415
00:17:31,818 --> 00:17:33,554
Why does it look like Arkham?
416
00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:36,390
Because your sick brain
is trying to lock up memories
417
00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:39,259
so vile that you repress them,
so do not look--
418
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,595
Okay, why do I even try?
419
00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:43,830
When's Daddy done
with his business meeting?
420
00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,332
[grunts]
421
00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:52,605
That's enough.
422
00:17:52,638 --> 00:17:54,842
"If you violate
the restraining order again,
423
00:17:54,942 --> 00:17:57,711
Mr. Muniz will
take legal action."
424
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,446
Muah! See ya soon, Frankie.
425
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:03,416
So that's why I went to juvie.
426
00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:06,519
[maniacal laughter]
427
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,358
[grunts]
428
00:18:12,392 --> 00:18:16,363
Here we are, puddin'.
Dive in as Harleen Quinzel,
429
00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:19,432
and rise as Harley Quinn!
430
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,500
My beautiful creation.
431
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:24,237
Okay, look, here it comes.
Here's when that piece of shit
432
00:18:24,336 --> 00:18:25,439
pushes me in he acid.
433
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:28,442
[laughs] If you love me,
then jump!
434
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:31,411
And you'll be mine forever.
435
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,313
A dream come true, puddin'.
436
00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:36,215
Wait! No!
437
00:18:38,317 --> 00:18:40,854
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you okay?
438
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,789
This whole time
I thought he pushed me.
439
00:18:42,890 --> 00:18:45,325
That it wasn't my choice.
440
00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:46,859
But it... it was.
441
00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:50,463
Whoa, so you told yourself
it was out of your control?
442
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:51,664
Yeah, because it was easier
443
00:18:51,765 --> 00:18:53,467
to blame him than accept
the truth.
444
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,501
And the truth being,
what, exactly?
445
00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:57,805
That it was always my choice.
446
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,906
That I was in control
all along.
447
00:19:00,707 --> 00:19:02,509
And I still am.
448
00:19:02,608 --> 00:19:04,912
If you love me, then jump.
449
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:08,882
And you'll be mine forever.
450
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:10,517
-Hard pass.
-Wha-- what?
451
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:11,951
I said no, idiot.
452
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,453
But you have to jump,
you can't change this.
453
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:17,390
I mean, it's already happened.
It's your origin story!
454
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,459
Wrong.
It's not my origin story.
455
00:19:19,558 --> 00:19:21,227
My real origin story
didn't happen here.
456
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:23,696
It happened in your lair.
457
00:19:23,797 --> 00:19:25,731
Uh, I wasn't
wearing this costume.
458
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:27,064
And believe me,
459
00:19:27,064 --> 00:19:29,064
I wasn't saying
you were a dream come true.
460
00:19:29,068 --> 00:19:30,804
I was saying,
"Go fuck yourself!"
461
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,673
Harley, stop this nonsense. I--
462
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:36,241
I know you think
you created me, but no one did!
463
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,510
My fucked-up parents
didn't make me the way I am.
464
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,079
Neither did Jessica Sarner
465
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,647
when she fucking lied
to the whole camp
466
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:44,351
and said I lost my virginity
to a horse!
467
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,751
-A horse!
-[grunts]
468
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,721
Or, those cops
who questioned me for hours
469
00:19:47,721 --> 00:19:49,655
-about what happened
to Jessica Sarner.
-[grunts]
470
00:19:49,655 --> 00:19:51,023
And you sure as hell
471
00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:52,424
didn't fucking
create me, puddin'.
472
00:19:52,526 --> 00:19:53,894
Yeah? Well, I named you.
473
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,864
You got Harley Quinn
out of Harleen Quinzel?
474
00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:58,565
Nice work, genius!
475
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,867
[both grunt]
476
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:03,604
You didn't make me, Joker.
I made myself.
477
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,838
But you can't change
your memories!
478
00:20:05,940 --> 00:20:08,642
This isn't
Eternal Sunshine rules.
479
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:09,876
[whooshing]
480
00:20:09,977 --> 00:20:11,243
[grunts]
481
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,481
-[grunts]
-My mind. My rules.
482
00:20:16,817 --> 00:20:17,917
[clatters]
483
00:20:20,988 --> 00:20:22,990
[sighs] Sanity restored.
484
00:20:22,990 --> 00:20:26,326
Kinda. Thanks, gang.
I owe you everything.
485
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,260
Has anyone seen Clayface?
486
00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,797
-[Little Harley grunts]
-[all exclaim]
487
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,665
No! Because her little
psycho shits killed him!
488
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,534
Did not!
489
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,470
Apologies for the disguise.
490
00:20:36,470 --> 00:20:40,473
I had to "go native" to thwart
Harley's younger demons.
491
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,977
Oh, we're just glad
you're alive.
492
00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,046
Thank you, frie--
Oh, I'm getting hard!
493
00:20:46,146 --> 00:20:47,713
-[all grunt]
-Please!
494
00:20:47,815 --> 00:20:50,483
My phallus is not erect.
It's my leg.
495
00:20:50,584 --> 00:20:51,818
Oh, no, he's in the furnace!
496
00:20:51,919 --> 00:20:54,654
Aah! Come on! Come on!
To the exit, now!
497
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,759
And a one and a two--
498
00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:01,428
[all screaming]
499
00:21:01,528 --> 00:21:04,396
They're still alive.
Damn it, Sy.
500
00:21:04,498 --> 00:21:07,500
This is Peru all over again.
I'm outta here.
501
00:21:07,601 --> 00:21:09,736
What do you mean, "Outta here"?
Where're ya going?
Where're ya going?
502
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:11,005
-I'm done with this shit.
-[Sy] Don't be done.
503
00:21:11,105 --> 00:21:12,705
We're in the middle of a thing.
504
00:21:12,806 --> 00:21:15,442
-No, I'm at the end.
-You were always a quitter!
505
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,344
Oh, and you tried to kill us.
506
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:20,413
Nonsense! What are you--
What are you doing?
507
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,781
You looked cold.
508
00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,018
So I did what any
good citizen would do.
509
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,086
I brought you to a dead mall
510
00:21:26,186 --> 00:21:28,788
and heated you up in
an abandoned pizza oven.
511
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,557
You're welcome.
We're done here.
512
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:33,393
This is it. Guys, we found it.
513
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:34,862
What? Like hepatitis?
514
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,730
No, our new lair.
515
00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:38,198
Look, it doesn't matter
what it is.
516
00:21:38,199 --> 00:21:39,866
'Cause the lair doesn't
define us.
517
00:21:39,866 --> 00:21:41,768
We define the lair.
518
00:21:41,769 --> 00:21:45,571
Uh-huh. Can we define
a different one?
This one's gross.
519
00:21:45,571 --> 00:21:47,807
No, this one's free.
520
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,542
The hell it is.
521
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:51,979
This premium
shopping destination
522
00:21:51,979 --> 00:21:54,614
runs 100 grand a month.
523
00:21:54,615 --> 00:21:57,616
I'm offering a dollar.
And I won't kill you right now
524
00:21:57,617 --> 00:21:59,352
for trying to burn us alive.
525
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:01,721
Deal. On one condition.
526
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:04,758
You let me come along
on some of your heists.
527
00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:08,729
Lugging around your dead husks
made me feel alive again.
528
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:11,364
I want back
in the game, baby!
529
00:22:11,463 --> 00:22:13,000
Well, you did manage to carry
530
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,769
six bodies to a pizza oven.
I mean, that's not nothing.
531
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,804
-Deal.
-Hey!
532
00:22:17,805 --> 00:22:21,540
-Oh!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry.
It happens all the time.
533
00:22:21,641 --> 00:22:23,509
[Sy] Anyone have
a Philips head?
534
00:22:23,609 --> 00:22:28,609
[theme music playing]
39951
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