All language subtitles for 1 1 Last.Week.Tonight.with.John.Oliver.S13E14.480p

Oh.

Thank you so much for joining us. It has
been a busy week. CBS News fired Scott

Pelley for the crime of being too cool
in a meeting.

The DOJ is investigating George Santos
for insider trading on Kalshi because,

course.

And there was the headline, Masturbation
among birds is natural and should not

be punished, say experts.

Which sounds like what Sesame Street's
PR team would say, a big bird got caught

Jeffrey Toopening on a work zoom.

Don't worry, it's natural for birds, no
punishment necessary.

Meanwhile, Trump announced he'd nominate
Todd Blanche, his former lawyer for

Attorney General, a man whose
impartiality is probably best summed up

remarks he made after being named acting
AG last month.

I love working for President Trump. It's
the greatest honour of a lifetime. And

if President Trump chooses to keep me as
acting...

That's an honor. If he chooses to
nominate me, that's an honor. If he

nominate somebody else and I go back to
being the DAG, that's an honor. If he

chooses to nominate somebody else and
asks me to go do something else, I will

say, thank you very much. I love you,
sir.

Jesus, Todd!

There is sucking up and there's whatever
that was.

It sounds like he's freestyling a
version of Green Eggs and Ham about what

willing to do for the president.

I'd kiss his ass on a boat. I'd tickle
his balls with a goat. I'd love the

president with my soul. I'd yield to him
my every hole.

This week also saw primaries take place
around the country. Congressman Tom Kane

Jr. won in New Jersey despite the fact
he's not been seen in public for nearly

three months.

With his chief of staff even saying
mysteriously, there's no cameras where

is. Which is wild given there are
cameras literally everywhere.

And if you don't believe me, just ask
the birds.

who, despite being very natural and
private about it, masturbated their way

the news.

But perhaps the craziest race this year
is for Governor of Colorado. For the

Democrats, the leading contenders are
Colorado's AG and one of its senators.

But on the Republican side, things are
much wilder. There are three candidates.

State Senator Barbara Kirkmeyer has been
painted as the adult in the room, which

is striking given she once led an
attempt to pursue secession and form a

state. But the other two candidates are
something else. Take Scott Bottoms. At

this week's candidate debate, he had
this alarming exchange with the

You said that you are deeply honored to
have the endorsement of your good friend

Joe Oltman, the MAGA podcaster who has
called for the execution by hanging of

Colorado's governor, attorney general,
and secretary of state, who he calls

synagogue of Satan Jews.

If you're elected governor, would Mr.
Oltman have a role in your

Assuming it's not around Jewish people,
probably.

Holy shit!

Look! Probably is a fine answer to
questions like, will the sun rise

have Mike Lindell ever fucked a pillow?
But it is not ideal when you've just

been asked, if someone spewed anti
-Semitic rhetoric, would you still hire

Then there is Victor Marx, a self
-described high -risk humanitarian who

claims to be the world's fastest gun
disarmer and a seven -degree black belt

Cajun karate kaiju.

Something apparently invented by his
dad.

as a form of 100 % American Christian
karate.

Over the years, Marx has made some wild
claims, and when the journalist who

moderated that debate sat down with him
last week, he addressed one of the big

ones. Your claim that your abusive
stepfather forced you to kill a man when

were seven years old, is that the only
person you've ever killed?

I would say as a child, yes.

But I've been in other situations where,

you know, possibly people or persons
died as

a result of me defending myself in other
countries. Do you think that you've

killed people as an adult?

Does it matter?

Yeah, I'd say so. Yeah.

Yeah, I think I'd say so, too.

I don't think anyone needed to say our
elected official should at least have a

guesstimate of how many people they've
killed, but it seems we're in a new era

right now. There's protein in the Pop
-Tarts. The rules are over.

And look, I'm not saying a seventh
-degree black belt in karate their dad

up isn't capable of killing, but it's
not great that a potential governor of

Colorado has an aura best described as
the final hour of a true crime

documentary.

And incredibly, that interview got even
wilder, because it turns out Marx also

performs exorcisms, or as he calls them,
spiritual warfare. And that reporter

had some understandable questions.

You command the demons out of someone.
Can you explain to folks how that works?

They can hear you describe it. Well, I
don't command the demons to come out of

someone. I think of them as assignments
or attachments to people.

And we identify the demon, like Jesus
did.

We ask what their name is, and then we
give them commands.

And they very frequently and typically
will answer.

Through the person's mind, they'll tell
us what they hear.

And then we destroy them, banish them to
perfect judgment from Christ.

You also perform these exorcisms by
phone. Are those just as effective?

Oh, I'm sure.

In fact, I bet they're even more
effective, because even for a demon, I

imagine a worse hell than being stuck on
the phone with yassified Billy Mays

here. Now, Marx was on the debate stage
this week, and during which, that

reporter asked him this truly incredible
question.

You claim that you've been all around
the world, armed to the teeth, rescuing

women and children from captivity, that
you've stopped human smugglers at the

Mexico border and made them pay a price,
that you as a civilian called in a U

.S. military airstrike that killed 70
ISIS fighters, that you were the first

American into Gaza during the war with
Israel, that you've done 150 high -risk

missions and every one has been a
success.

You told me last week that it's all
true.

and that you don't need to prove it to
anyone.

But you're talking to voters now.

How should voters decide whether you've
lived one of the most extraordinary

lives in human history or whether you're
a liar and a fraud?

Spectacular. That might be the first
debate in history won by the moderator.

just look at his co -host there.

He must be thinking, hey, I didn't know
we were allowed to be sassy bitches

tonight.

And if you are thinking there is no
answer that could possibly be stranger

that question, I'm afraid you are wrong.

I can't help it if I've had an
extraordinary life.

I'm an ordinary fella.

And starting from my childhood all the
way to now, me standing up on a stage

running for governor, Reagan, I said I
was going to talk about you. This little

dog, she's going to go bite you right
now, Kyle.

She was in Syria and...

So, is she lying too?

Incredible.

That is a grand slam answer to a home
run question.

His brain is truly one of a kind because
who else on earth would hear the

question, are you a fraud?

And even think to answer with, hey, are
you calling my dog a liar?

Also, I love how the dog is looking
straight into the camera there.

I have to say, the Craigslist ad said
nothing about Syria.

weird, and he's even weird by Colorado
standards.

A state whose major airport features
goggles and suitcases over the baggage

claim area in order to help ensure the
safe arrival of baggage, whatever the

fuck that means.

And outside has this 32 -foot blue
Mustang statue with glowing red eyes.

nickname is Blucifer, and fun fact,

While it was being finished, a piece
fell off and killed the artist who made

and yet somehow, even in a state that is
home to luggage gargoyles and a

homicidal airport horse demon, the
weirdest resident is still this fucking

Anyway, Colorado's primary is on June
30th, so there'll be more to say about

in the coming weeks, or maybe not.

Because I don't really know what more
there is to say about a guy who's coy

about how many people he's killed and
offers dial -up exorcisms. All I'm

here is...

That if you are a Republican in
Colorado, I would strongly recommend a

candidate for governor. Because frankly,
the most sensible individual on that

stage this week was the one with four
paws and a Jim from the office stare.

And now, this.

And now, prom season has people on TV
feeling nostalgic.

Do you remember your prom?

Who you took? What you wore?

I remember all of it. You do? Okay.

Did you go to prom?

Were you allowed to say prom at your
hometown if there was a bunch of people

didn't want you dancing?

My grandma still thought I went to a
banquet.

I went to three proms. I still remember
Big Baller. I had a guy light prom on

fire for me.

Yeah. What?

He burned the school down?

That's commitment. It was rope with
gasoline. Not safe. Don't do it. My

year was the year of Chumbawamba.

My prom was welcome to the jungle.

What? Yeah, welcome to the jungle.

Mine was wind beneath your wings.

Oh, God. Welcome to the jungle. You look
like you guys had a good time. What did

you guys do after prom? What was your
after prom?

So we didn't go to the after prom party.

Full transparency, I got a hotel room.

Okay.

We had a party. Let's just stop the
conversation right here.

Moving on. Our main story tonight
concerns college. The setting of beloved

American works of art, like Matt Damon
does math, dorks do sex crimes, and I'm

sorry, Chevy said what to who?

Specifically, we're going to talk about
New College of Florida, a small, quirky,

state -funded school which used to
promote itself like this.

The culture at New College is as unique
as our academic program.

There's really a strong sense of
camaraderie and community amongst both

student, the faculty, and the staff.

I've never been to a place where
everybody just had such, you know, good

intentions for each other. It's a very
inclusive community, and it's full of

unique people, both the faculty, staff,
and students.

We're all pretty unique in our own
right, and so it's nice for us all to

and work together in this one -of -a
-kind community.

Yeah, seems nice, doesn't it? I'll be
honest, I could have done without the

multiple barefoot students in class, but
that is just me.

I'm going to say something Quentin
Tarantino's never uttered in his life.

the love of God, put some shoes on.

Bare feet are something you should only
show your partner, your doctor, and your

hundreds of followers on OnlyFans. You
want the piggies?

You pay the price. And if you are
thinking, why are you talking about a

college in Florida? Well, a few years
ago, it was actually national news.

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is
transforming a liberal arts school into

conservative institution.

The campus now at the center of a
conservative takeover after DeSantis

six political allies to its board of
trustees.

It's another bold move, and I'm cheering
it on.

Florida's Governor DeSantis has launched
the takeover, I'd call it a hostile

takeover, of a college known for its
ultra -progressive policies.

Okay, can I be vulnerable for a minute?

Do I sound like that?

I know some people can't distinguish one
British accent from another, but

please, tell me I don't sound like that.

That is the accent of a man who just
spit on an orphan.

He's not like someone who just threw a
kid's wooden leg on a fire to keep warm.

But anyway, what happened was, back when
Ron DeSantis still thought he had a

shot at being president, he made a lot
of noise about how he was going to de

-wokify New College, despite admitting
he didn't know much about it.

You know, when I became governor, I
remember the Speaker of the House at the

time came to me and said, hey, we need
to talk about a new college.

I didn't know what it was.

I was like, we need a new college? We
have enough colleges in Florida. He's

like, no, no, no.

He's like, no, no, new college in
Sarasota.

He's like, I want to shut it down. It's
communist, all this stuff. I'm like, let

me see. Look, if you want to go be on
some Marxist commune, if that's what you

want to do with your life, look, who am
I to say? But I don't want the taxpayers

of Florida funding that.

That's just not the way it goes.

Okay, so there is a lot there, but I
have to say that of the many, many

stereotypes people have of Florida, I
don't think anyone would describe it as

place with too many colleges.

I say this with medium respect to the
state. It's known for having too many

of things, too many geysers, too many
swamps, too many fist -sized bugs, and

exactly one too many wrongs to sanctify.
But no one is ever going to reasonably

accuse Florida of excessive academia.

Nevertheless, DeSantis decided to make a
big show out of picking a fight with

New College by literally taking it over.

He appointed six new board members who
were political allies, including Chris

Ruffo, the conservative activist who
then tweeted, we are now over the walls

ready to transform higher education from
within.

Now, if Ruffo is at all familiar to you,
it may be because we've talked about

him before in our shows on critical race
theory and trans rights. And quick

spoiler, he wasn't exactly the hero of
those stories.

He was more like a cartoon supervillain
if they dressed exclusively. in Land's

End and looked like the picture on a
megachurch's website paired with a post

titled, How I Turned My Hands to God
After Spending Years Masturbating Eight

Times a Day.

Rufo is constantly sounding the alarm
over the woke indoctrination of young

people, but being appointed as a trustee
at New College actually represented

something new for him, a chance to put
his ideas into practice.

And as he explained at the time, his
goal was nothing less than to offer a

blueprint for what conservatives could
then do for education nationwide.

This has really never been done before.

Conservatives have been feeding
territory institutionally.

decade after decade after decade for the
past half century.

And never once have they said, we're
going to actually go and retake an

institution. We're actually going to go
and recapture a university. It starts

with this hostile takeover of the new
College of Florida on the beaches of

Sarasota. And if we are to be
successful, I think that we're going to

model for red state governors all over
the country.

That is pretty aggressive, and while I
don't want to give any pointers to Rufo,

why would you choose that picture to
represent your enemy?

I don't want to take that over. If
anything, I just want to ask if they

more for Hacky Sack.

That might be the most beautiful place I
have ever seen.

It's the first image I've ever
encountered that makes me want to go to

and I mean ever.

Now, that was three years ago, and a lot
had happened since then. Rhonda

Stanton, as you may have noticed, did
not become pregnant.

But this guy did, and his administration
is now trying to carry out a similar

anti -woke agenda throughout higher ed,
with Chris Ruffo very much cheering them

on. So given all that, we thought
tonight it might be worth checking in on

College to see what exactly happened
when a bunch of anti -woke crusaders

given free reign and nearly unlimited
resources to build a school on their own

terms. I'll give you a hint, it's not
going great.

And before we talk about what New
College has become, a quick mention of

once was.

It was founded in the 1960s to be a
college with complete freedom of

place where no grades would be given and
where they focused on independent study

with each student working closely
together with their professors. And over

even as it became part of Florida's
publicly funded higher ed system, it

a reputation for being LGBTQ friendly
with an exceptionally personalized

approach to education.

Students are allowed to propose their
own classes and find someone who's

to help them out with it. And then we
journey together.

You can invent anything you want to
study.

Ultimately, I could take whatever
classes I want. I could make up classes.

could make up my own major.

Like I got to shadow a doctor as an
undergraduate.

I've been very happy to have a lot of
students interested in somewhat esoteric

chemistry topics that I'm totally
willing to explore with them.

Yeah. Bet you are.

In fact, there are exactly three things
I'm sure of in this world.

One, death comes for all of us. Two,
Stephen Miller cries when he comes. And

three, this man is totally willing to
explore esoteric chemistry topics with

you.

In case it wasn't obvious already, New
College was a school for, and I say this

with love, nerds and dorks.

Its whole deal is perhaps best summed up
by the fact that years ago, when

students were unable to agree on a
college mascot, as a placeholder, the

constitution wrote in a set of empty
brackets to be replaced when a new

was ultimately chosen. But students then
made those brackets their mascot, and

from then on, the mathematical term for
brackets, the null set, served as new

college's mascot, which might be the
single dorkiest thing I have ever heard.

Typically... A mascot is adorable, or
terrifying, or horny, or a healthy

combination of all three. But no, no,
not for this college full of Sheldons.

They went another way.

And while the whole design your own
curriculum, we don't give out grades

approach might make you roll your eyes,
you should know that the results were

pretty impressive.

A report from 2018 showed that 80 % of
new colleges' graduates attended grad

school within five years of graduation,
and the school ranked third in the

nation among all public and private
universities in producing graduates who

earned doctoral degrees.

Which is not to say it didn't also have
problems. Like many small liberal arts

colleges, it suffered from years of
declining enrolment, which in turn led

increasing disinvestment from the
Florida state legislature. Though when

DeSantis took over the school in 2023,
there were already signs that it was on

an upswing.

A recently appointed president had
helped recruit the largest entering

since 2016, and many students and
faculty were feeling optimistic, which

makes it so galling that at Chris
Ruffo's first big address to the college

community, he seemed to go out of his
way to tell them just how much their

school sucked.

Every single person, with one exception
that I've talked to, behind closed doors

says New College has a culture problem.

And even the consultants that the
university has hired, they said that New

College has become an echo chamber.

When they did a study, these consultants
hired by the college, they said that

the three words, the three phrases that
most describe the culture here, quote,

politically correct, druggies, weirdos.

The vast majority of you, 90, 95 %
roughly, agree with me that there are

significant problems here. No.

No.

Look,

I don't think Rufo will ever experience
real justice.

But there is something satisfying about
him having to sit there as the crowd

tells him he is the problem while he
waves a sweaty piece of paper saying,

according to this study, you agree with
me.

that druggies and weirdos thing. It's
been so often the case with Rufo. He's

taking a real thing and exaggerating it
without key context. Because it is true

there was a report by consultants that
polled accepted applicants on

of new college. And in one subsection it
tested perceptions about the social

culture at the school. But it only gave
people six phrases to choose from and

made a point of saying potentially
negative associations with the college

intentionally included.

And I would argue five of the six
options were pretty negative given as

can see the remaining three were crunchy
granola, slackers, and at a school with

zero fraternities or sororities, Greek.

It's like me announcing that polls show
the celebrity I look most like is Remy

the Rat, and then revealing the only
other option was The Rock. I mean, sure,

a scale of Rat to Rock, I lean hard in
one direction, but it was a pretty

question from the start.

Also, elsewhere in that report, far
higher percentages described the school

terms like excellent faculty, personal
attention, and rigorous courses. But

despite all that, Ruffo and the other
trustees set about making big changes.

One of the biggest was bringing in a new
president, Richard Corcoran, a former

Speaker of the Florida House. And as you
would expect from a man holding a

hammer that comically large, right from
the start, he took some big, dumb

swings.

You have requested $2 million for a
cancel culture center.

We requested $2 million for a cancel
cancel culture center.

Why? Because it needs to happen. We need
a nationwide beacon that says this is

how you do it. We're going to have great
debates out here on the yard.

Liberals, conservatives, come.

Let the students be exposed to every
aspect.

Okay, first, calling it a cancel -cancel
culture centre is pathetic. It sounds

like the headquarters of a cult founded
by Russell Brand, which is barely even a

joke, given that he was invited to be a
guest speaker at New College on the

topic of thinking without permission,
which is a bold sequence of words,

as you know, everything.

Fun fact, by the way, his appearance at
the cancel -cancel culture school is

currently postponed, but...

Corcoran quickly made it clear that he
was determined to change New College's

culture, including by convincing the
board to change its mascot from the null

set to this, the mighty banyan tree. And
I admit, if you wanted the spiritual

opposite of a set of brackets, this
steroid tree would be it.

It looks like Groot if he hulked.

It looks like the trees from Wizard of
Oz if they guzzled creatine and got

really into the manosphere.

If Samantha from Sex and the City saw
that tree, she'd say, shiver me timbers,

talk about some hard wood.

I bet him split me open and count my
nuva ring. Girls, that tree would make a

fabulous fuck.

But the mascot change was just the
beginning. For all Corcoran's rhetoric

building a school that would engage in
great debates, certain sides were

deliberately purged. For instance, the
school...

got rid of its gender studies programme,
with Rufo bragging they'd gotten rid of

a massive and radical department that
indoctrinates students, despite the fact

that in reality it had a budget of just
$7 ,000 for programmes and expenses and

a part -time office manager.

And when the students were away on
break, the school cleared out the Gender

Diversity Centre, which was basically
just a lounge with couches and a student

-curated library, and threw all the
books away.

Rufo Evo even gleefully retweeted
coverage of that, saying... We abolished

gender studies program, now we're
throwing out the trash.

And setting aside that one of those
books is a book of fucking puzzles, I

even want to say what I need to say
right now, so I'm not going to say it.

said, and remember, I am not saying
this, but say what you will about, here

comes, the Nazis.

But stick with me, credit where it's
due, I know, when the Nazis went after

books. They went big. They didn't wait
for the students to be on break. At

the Nazis, I hear it too, were bold.

And as all this was happening, many
professors were being fired, quitting or

taking leave. In fact, just months into
the takeover, more than a third of New

College's faculty had left for part or
all of the upcoming academic year. And

what that meant was some students were
suddenly left without teachers or

advisors for their majors, which, as
this mother of one student majoring in

marine biology explained, Put them in a
spot.

She logged in to see her classes, and
her classes were all gone.

There was not one class for marine bio
that was being offered, and she called

the school, and the response was, oh, we
don't have the teachers on staff to

teach those classes anymore, so just go
pick something else.

Oh, my God. And she was like, what?

Yeah, that's not great, is it?
Especially because it's not like

is... kind of like marine biology.

No one wants to dedicate their life to
studying the dark pits where we keep our

worst and weirdest freaks.

We'll be content studying anything else.
What are they supposed to do instead?

Study literature?

You think a student could be wowed by
reading Moby Dick after they've already

seen literal hell?

Or math? You are telling me someone
could get wet for numbers after they've

the angel that killed God?

Wait, these kids have been event
horizons. They need two things, a marine

biology teacher and to be left alone
forever.

And look, so far, I've focused on the
things that have been destroyed, but it

also worth looking at what has been
built.

Because to hear Rufo tell it, all of
this was just to reorient New College

toward a simple goal.

We're getting the college back to
basics, back to the classical liberal

and I'm certainly not going to apologize
for that.

Okay, Chris, then don't apologize.

I'd maybe consider apologising for going
on TV looking like a Keebler elf

graduated from Wharton, but hold strong
on everything else, you're doing great.

The thing is, though, that classical
liberal arts education seems so far to

involve a heavy dose of culture war
bullshit.

For instance, Corcoran brought in
presidential scholars in residence,

included controversial figures like
Bruce Gilley, author of the book The

for Colonialism, which argues that
European colonialism was actually a good

thing. Huge for me, if true.

And it's also written that for Africans,
being enslaved under the British Empire

was about as good as it got, which is a
big old yike.

And the college also started something
called the Socratic Stage Dialogue

Series, which it says seeks to advance
free speech, civil discourse and

dialogue. But it seems pretty clear
which ideas they want to promote, given

while they've had the occasional speaker
like Bill Nye, they've generally skewed

strongly rightward and have included the
likes of Ron Hantis, Tom Homan and Alan

Dershowitz, who, fun fact, actually
spoke at their commencement too.

And it is a bold choice to go with a
speaker so tied to Jeffrey Epstein you

could miss... fake him for a noose.

Meanwhile, there have been some
questionable administrative hires. At

they hired a guy who'd worked as a
spokesperson for DeSantis and Corcoran

school's communications director.

He'd already been embroiled in a
political sex scandal, and then soon

was hired, he was arrested for indecent
exposure, which he blamed on medications

he was taking. But the thing is, if
they'd done their homework properly

hiring him, they'd have learned that it
was by no means a one -off incident.

Fred Piccolo has three separate cases
open in Sarasota County. The first

incident allegedly happened back in
August. An affidavit says he went into a

dressing room at the Banana Republic in
University Town Hall and stood with his

pants down and shirt off in front of the
store's assistant manager. A week and a

half later, another person reported
Piccolo to police for doing the same

in a Dillard's dressing room. And one
day after that, he's accused of doing

same thing to a different person at that
same Dillard's.

Not great. And listen, I think we all
know malls have been struggling for a

while now.

Department stores like Dillard's
especially need support. But if they

get their name back into the national
conversation, might I suggest changing

their slogan from Dillard's The Style of
Your Life to Dillard's Please Don't

Whip Out Your Dick Here.

It might be just the viral marketing
splash that they need. Hey, I'm just

spitballing here.

It's not like I'm the head of marketing
somewhere.

And it turns out now, neither is he.

Now, as for Dean of Students, they hired
David Rancourt, a Florida lobbyist with

no relevant experience in higher
education.

The most noteworthy thing he's done
since then was participate in a school

-up comedy night. Here is just a taste
of his set. And I'll spare you the full

set -up. Just know it involves him at
age seven and a girl the same age called

Susie who was always showing off that
she had more than he did. Until one day,

this happened.

I said, Suzy, I want to show you
something.

Whipped down my pants.

I pulled out that little pecker and I
said, this is called a penis.

I got one, you don't have one.

She kind of looks at me, doesn't say
anything. We go to school, everything's

good.

Next morning I get up, I walk on down a
school bus stop feeling really good

about myself.

I see that little bitch, she's got a big
old grin on her face.

Big old grin on her face. And I go,
alright Suzy.

What you got? She looks at me, smiles,
lifts up her skirt and says, David, my

mama says I got one of these. I haven't
had as many of those as I want.

Yeah.

So, quick stand -up tip.

Maybe don't tell a story in which you
show a child your dick and call her a

little bitch.

Not only does it make you sound like a
raging pervert, it also sounds like you

stole it from a joke that your grandpa
kept in his bathroom called Uncle Dick's

Filthy Fartstravaganza of dirty jokes
and toilet giggles.

Now, I should say, when asked for
comment on that routine, a New College

spokesperson said, cancelled culture is
over at New College, comedy is a work of

art. Which, I'll be honest, is what a
lot of comedians say right after they

bomb. And remember, he was the fucking
Dean of Students.

Although, to be fair, he is not in that
job anymore.

But that's only because he's been
promoted to Vice Provost.

Still, I will give the new
administration credit for one thing.

actually manage to increase enrolment.
They proudly announced a new incoming

class of 328 students for the first full
academic year of Corcoran's tenure.

But there is a big asterisk on that
number. Because former admissions office

employees have claimed the school
boosted enrolment by sharply lowering

standards. One recalled a colleague
showing him an admissions essay that was

screenshot of cell phone notes.

Riddled with incorrect spelling and
grammar, and apparently that person went

to be accepted.

And to be clear, when recruiting, New
College was apparently selecting for a

very specific type of student, as this
video from Chris Ruffo makes clear.

In a single academic term, President
Corcoran has engineered the beginning of

incredible turnaround. He's also begun
the work of changing the culture, hiring

a new slate of all -star faculty, and
recruiting a new cohort of mostly male

student -athletes.

who will begin to rebalance the hormones
and the politics on campus.

Well, so there is a lot to unpack there,
but let's start with the phrase

rebalancing the hormones, because unless
you are a doctor, a nurse, or a woman

whose TikTok algorithm is telling her
that she's perimenopausal, you do not

to be discussing rebalancing hormones.

But Rufo was openly said.

He wants to change New College's gender
makeup. Apparently, before the takeover,

two -thirds of its students were women.
And he said that that was a wildly out

-of -balance population that caused all
sorts of cultural problems.

By the fall of Corcoran's first full
academic year, the school had increased

male enrollment by more than 23
percentage points. And as that video

the way they did that was by recruiting
a fuckton of male athletes. Of those 328

new students, 115 were student athletes,
with 70 enrolled for baseball alone.

They recruited 70 baseball players. I
want to make absolutely sure you are

hearing me here.

70 baseball players!

That is multiple dozen too many. For
context, the University of Florida,

has a student body 60 times New
College's size, had only 37 student

its baseball team that year. And it gets
even more ridiculous when you learn

that they recruited, again, 70 baseball
players to a school that at that point

had no intercollegiate athletics program
and didn't even have a baseball team.

So they were just bringing in... board
players and expecting one to magically

appear like some kind of reverse field
of dreams.

And while it is not important, I do
still need you to know that of those

recruits, fully 12 of them were listed
as catchers, with 7 first basemen.

And the school made a point of
prioritising those athletes over

students like this one.

Marshall Bustamante is about to start
his fourth and final year at New

but even before the semester begins,
he's learning senior stripes no longer

guarantees you first choice at senior
digs. Who took over your room?

Well, I mean, the administration removed
me from my room so that athletes could

be there. That's bullshit, though, isn't
it? Senior housing is one of the only

good things about being a senior.

You shouldn't have to worry about losing
decent housing in an insanely

competitive and cutthroat marketplace.
That is for, as we all know, the rest of

your life.

And if you're wondering why baseball
players would even want to come to a

without a baseball field, New College
made it work there well, because despite

scoring worse on average than other
applicants, incoming student -athletes

earned a disproportionate number, around
half of the school's new $10 ,000 per

year merit -based scholarships.
Scholarships, by the way, that were paid

of an extra $15 million that DeSantis
got for New College from the state

legislature. And if you're thinking,
that's an awful lot of money.

to spend just to rebalance the hormones
of a small school.

You're right about that, but then money
has seemingly been no object when it

comes to this project. In fact, a state
audit last year found that the public

cost to produce a degree at New College
had swelled in 2024 to nearly $500 ,000,

dwarfing what has been spent per student
at any other public university.

In fact, here is the chart from that
report, showing by how much New College

outspending all the other state schools.

And while Corcoran dismissed that
report, saying it compares apples to

and simply reflects a one -time
investment to improve infrastructure

of deferred maintenance, it is worth
noting that no new dormitories or other

major projects have broken ground since
his appointment, including that

cancelled cancel culture centre.

But, at the same time, administrative
costs... have ballooned with one major

expenditure being Corcoran's own salary.
Because when you include perks and

bonuses, he has the highest per -student
salary of any president in Florida's

university system, worth more than a
million dollars a year. All of which

it more than a little infuriating that
when he took the stage at that stand -up

comedy night, this is how he opened his
set.

Thank you.

I'm actually the president of New
College, and you got to... Yeah, yeah.

The job doesn't really pay well, but
it's a good job.

Okay, if, gun to my head, I had to say
something positive about that, he did

manage not to talk about flashing a
seven -year -old girl with his dick, and

now know that's not nothing.

Look, in case it's not clear by now, the
whole new college experiment has been a

complete shitshow.

In researching this piece, we talked to
so many students, and one big takeaway

was that while they're grateful that
some of the old faculty have tried to

around and help them, the school's
administration seems to care much more

political posturing than it does about
their actual lives. And it is not like

one saw this coming.

Just listen to this student, interviewed
not long after the takeover, outlining

what she could see happening right in
front of her.

It feels like New College has become a
political playground to try out what

these people want the country to be.

I'm upset.

This is my education.

Exactly. She's right. She and everyone
else at that school deserve for their

education to not be co -opted by a bunch
of dipshits doing political theatre for

their own gain.

As we all know, the only theatre done in
college should look like this. That is

me in college.

Doing theatre.

Yeah, I waited this whole episode to
show you that, and I only showed it to

because I lost a bet.

And it is infuriating that a key leader
of all of this has seemingly abandoned

his post.

Because Chris Ruffo, despite claiming he
was going to reinvent education, left

the Board of Trustees this year, only to
be replaced by former football coach

turned broadcaster Urban Meyer, which,
sure, at this point, fuck it, why not?

Meanwhile, Corcoran is still there and
is insisting that his makeover's

cannot be reasonably measured until
2028, which you'll never guess happens

when his contract expires.

And look, the stated mission of those
behind the takeover of New College

just to recapture an institution, but to
provide a model for red states to then

replicate. But if this is that model, it
fucking sucks.

Because it is possible to create a
college that instills conservative

There are plenty of places.

that have done that slowly over a long
period of time. I don't want to go to

of them, but I at least recognise that
they took real work to build. But this?

This is pathetic.

And depressingly, it is the exact sort
of smash and grab we're seeing in so

places right now, from public health to
newspapers to broadcast news.

Ideologues capturing something that they
hate, claiming that they want to fix

it, and then destroying it instead.

But seldom has that move been more
blatant.

than watching people talk about great
debates and classical education, only to

then drive away faculty, refer to books
as trash, and assemble a veritable

Avengers of D -list conservatives,
celebrities, creeps and weirdos, all so

they can lecture the world's single
largest baseball team.

They have destroyed a rare haven for
gentle nerds, and all they've really

us in return is one, admittedly, very
fuckable tree.

Girls, Call me a woodpecker because I'd
tap that trunk.

Cheers.

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