All language subtitles for I.May.Destroy.You.S01E09.WEBRip.x265-ION265[eztv.re]

Hi, mate.

Oh, hey.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sure.

Yeah, just tired.

Yeah, you all right?

Yeah, good.

Oh, happy Halloween.

history month oh what if we had a
straight pride day why can't we have a

day whining temper tantrums like fucking
little fragile children we get a day

you get a lifetime knowing that you are
likely to walk free from rape so

shut the fuck up this is why i'm hating
straight white guys and y 'all are

making it really hard for me to change
my mind

So, the readings have come back fine on
the CT scan.

With regards to that, everything's in
order.

Really? Yay!

Your blood pressure results, however...
Sorry, one sec.

As you know, you can't give peace unless
you have peace.

I had a CT scan to check in with the
mind.

So for anybody who thinks I'm crazy for
having instant and twisted wars with

rapists and life destroys every day, you
can relax.

I have the all -clear heart.

Yay!

Besides, it's my everyday.

First day I'm set with my pom -pom on
your dad's face.

Ask him. I care for him. I care for me.

Care of self?

Self -care.

I encourage you all to manifest it into
your daily lives.

Hold tight the NHS.

Hold tight, babe, for booking my
appointment.

Oh, hey, snuggle bunnies. Me at the real
Terry Pratchard. Be good to those who

love you, because those who love you are
good to you.

Oh, drink it, motherfucker, cos it's
Halloween, bitches.

Back in the room.

Sorry.

So, yes, you will need to monitor that.

What? The blood pressure. Oh.

The higher the blood pressure, the
bigger the knock -on effects on the

which are already at an elevated risk
due to your being of Afro -Caribbean

origin.

Are there any new... That was racial
ignorance.

I'm not... Afro -Caribbean, I'm actually
African.

There's a unity and a distinction
between those places, and as a London

you should be aware of those things to
avoid generalising people of colour and

accidentally becoming a deeply
problematic member of your profession.

I'm sorry, it's just the term used on
the reports.

It's got something to do with the form
you keep pointing to. Maybe tell the big

boss of the pharmaceutical neuro what
not to change the form. Who makes the

form? I just want them to tell me what
they mean by...

Afro -Caribbean, given it's not where
I'm from and it's used to describe my

origin? I don't know.

Is that the extent of your diagnosis?

Hello, Arabella, you're Caribbean and I
don't know.

Oh, why is her blood pressure high?

What I don't know.

Doesn't smoke?

No, just vapes now.

Oh. What?

Well, vaping isn't... Ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah.

Do you agree that vaping is better than
smoking?

Well, yes. Then that's all we need to
say about it. But if there's a

predisposition to kidney problems, then
it's better just to get rid of the vape

completely.

Doc, I think my friend is stressed.

Do you confirm?

Yes. And a rape.

Stressful, do you confirm?

And other stressed people asking her to
defend them and expose rapists, abusers

and pedos. And she does this day and
night via phone screen.

Stressful, do you confirm?

So why would we tell her to stop vaping
if it doesn't take a professional to see

that the stress from the phone will kill
her faster than any puff of nicotine

ever will?

Well, I don't know who that is, but
that's Michael.

So he sent you a video of him having sex
with someone else?

Oh, yeah, of course. Let me at least see
what it looks like on top of someone

else before I tap my ears down and creep
under it.

I like that.

You like it?

They had loads of wings, fangs, but only
one halo.

Ooh. You'd think that they'd stock up on
these things given it's Halloween.

Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Now we have to battle it out.

Can I take my case first?

You know what? We wouldn't even be here
during this self -care day if it wasn't

for you sending it all out, Terry. So,
yes, you should take your case first.

But I don't know how you feel about
this, girls. I'm actually happy and

willing to let you wear the halo.

Guys, are you sure?

Definitely.

Yeah, yeah.

so we're going to need to be prompt with
time.

Hey! Hey! I just wanted to say thank you
for your content.

I know your work, I've read your posts,
and what you're doing for rape victims,

girl. Thank you. Thank you very much. I
was abused by a straight, white male as

a child.

Spoke out for the first time a few
months ago, and it's not easy.

The man of...

Black man to be honest to show pain
Sorry,

you know, no, listen, I am never too
busy to talk about pain Some people

want to engage the minute you try to
talk about some real shit. Yeah Some

people they don't want to dig too deep
if they dig deep enough Let's see.

They're in pain as well.

That's it. Wow, you're so brave.

Keep fighting the good fight, yeah?
Thank you. Thank you so much for

me of all the pain and frustration.

That's all I can think about.

Oh, it's my pleasure.

Make sure you tell your friends to
follow me and make me more powerful.

Of course, you're my hero, consoler of
the weak and avenger of the bad men. Oi,

bells! Yeah, wait, wait. I'm going to
go.

One sec. This echo chamber is freezing.

i'm cold you never know you might be
feeling a bit down one day and you just

might need someone who agrees whatever
the you think even if you are

We said no phones.

No vaping.

What?

Bella.

I'm spreading awareness.

People should know.

I'm not going to upload it now. I'm just
going to take it and then I'll post it

later.

Fine. Hey bunnies, what I'd let you know
about the POC paint and wine movement.

I believe we have the right to express
ourselves, to be vulnerable, to grow, to

free ourselves without the critical eyes
of our oppressor shaming and judging us

while we create. The POC paint and wine
movement.

Is it even a movement?

I don't know why she keeps saying paint
and wine.

Self -care, friendship, expression.

Art, creativity, peace.

This is what I've done so far.

Cute.

Okay, peace and all funnies. Hey, look,
don't forget who booked it. My bae and

the real Terry Pratchard.

Actor, angel, cuddle bunny, snuggle
butt.

Holla!

Snuggle butt.

Okay.

Anyways, Kwame, you were saying this
race is... Bitch, Lillipop.

Yeah, yeah.

I hate it when white girls disappoint
me.

She said some homophobic stuff as well.

What? Yeah, she said the F word.

People finally can chat shit and get
away with it.

Yeah, it's kind of dark still.

I'm sorry, Quams.

Why don't you say something?

I just want to forget about it. I don't
want to think about it now.

I hope you pulled your dick out.

I was afterwards, actually.

We were just chilling, and it really
made me think.

What are people saying in your absence?
Do you know what I mean?

Oh, OK, so she didn't know you were...
She didn't know you were gay until

And after I called her out on her
homophobic bullshit, she fucking hit the

Why did you tell her? She said, faggot,
just casually. How am I supposed to stay

silent? You didn't mind her racially
stereotyping you. You definitely didn't

mind because you fucked her.

As I said, I really wasn't trying to...

Do you feel anything reverse?

It's also no wonder she was angry. She
found out you were gay after you stuck

your dick in her and shot the load up. I
don't know. I think I would be at least

a little bit, like, surprised. I feel
terrible about it, but she kind of

me, so... No.

Well, you kind of had penetrative sex
with someone under false pretenses

That's a bit... I don't know. What the
fuck is wrong with this thing?

You need to top it up. OK. I'm saying I
feel shit.

I don't feel good about it.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm sure she feels
absolutely stupid. I just think that it

was really confusing for everyone.

Terry, as someone who has not
experienced rape, you should be

concluding conversations.

What? There's no vaping in the...

He said he didn't feel good about it.

He's a man consuming his identity,
following a woman into her home. He's

someone vulnerable. He felt good about
that. I'd be fucking horrified.

I'm saying he's got his own... He's
vulnerable.

Being vulnerable doesn't mean you can
make other people vulnerable. It doesn't

mean you can pull other people through
pain. It doesn't mean you can penetrate

people. Seriously, she literally pushed
me into that. No.

It sounds like you're blaming her. Are
you blaming her?

I'm not. I'm not.

Of course I'm not. You shouldn't have
told her.

Hey, you know, T, I agree.

Because that'd be like telling the
truth. And it's much better to just hide

under the surface and never acknowledge
that you are hiding something from a

woman who's let you into her bedroom.

Fix your brain. Are you fucking insane?

You made a mistake.

A mistake?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yes, he made a mistake. Sure, nobody
gives a fuck that it's a mistake, Terry.

all make those. Do we make deceitful,
destructive, narcissistic, sick,

inconsiderate mistakes?

No.

So, on my birthday, when you locked him
in the room with Jamal, what was that?

What? What else?

What did I do?

Samson's friend.

You locked him in with... Sorry.

And then he just kind of... Where is he
going?

You left Carmen in there without really
thinking about

the consequences.

He wasn't in a good place, so it was
really hard for him to be left there

because it was a dangerous situation at
that moment.

Call me?

Yeah.

Wow, he's here.

So I guess that means you don't need to
speak for him, which is great.

You can just shut up and buckle.

I feel like I've been a good friend to
you.

You told me what that guy did to you,
and I've tried to... Did

I? Did I do?

I don't... Because if there's something
that I did that day that I'm not aware

of... I can't even really remember,

like, for real, so...

I'm just saying, right, if you paint
things to make it look like you're a

victim, and I find out that isn't
entirely the case, it makes me question

who you are.

It's just looking in the mirror, do you
know what I mean?

It's really unnerving and it's
uncomfortable for everyone.

Excuse me?

Sorry. Can I just see if that wire goes
into my face? It's losing its power.

Oh,

amazing. Do you mind if I hold on to
that?

All crash test dummies, they don't
factor in breasts, hips, pregnancies.

Cancer research relies on studies
conducted on men, on white men in their

30s specifically. There is no data for
women. Even the size of a fucking

smartphone is based on the average size
of their hands. I mean, it trickles

down, doesn't it?

And I wish I could tell you these were
some Halloween tricks, some fake news,

some bullshit. But sadly, this is all
true.

I shouldn't be scared that as I walk
this street right now, at any moment, a

could drag me into a dark alley and
attack me. Fuck this shit.

Fuck.

I love you too.

Doxy, publishing private information.

Thank you.

if you guys heard of it.

Who would you dox if you could?

No, I will not show you my fucking
hashtag.

Dox the Cops, that's the new one, yeah?

If anyone's got the name to read, Cobra
Dress, Mill Breezers, yeah.

Never dox. No, you should never dox.

We don't need to take maths into our
own.

It's a very dark,

hypocritical narrative as if it didn't
even happen.

Walk around like some kind of victim.

You seem very upset.

It's really affected you, hasn't it?

I never thought Kwame would turn out to
be this kind of person, do you know what

I mean? Because he's my friend and I
don't keep that kind of shit around me.

Look at my Facebook.

And my Instagram too, yeah.

DM after DM after DM after DM. There is
so much injustice.

And my job is to speak the truth. I have
to speak the truth. No matter who to, I

can't be complicit.

Do you need social media?

What? I don't need it.

Could you leave social media?

It's important that we speak.

I have to speak.

The business model of these networks
incentivize us to behave in certain

ways, in ways that promote speaking,
often at the cost of listening.

Do you remember the three R's?

Rest, reflect, rejuvenate.

If you can't abandon it altogether, take
a break.

We take breaks.

We don't work weekends.

We break for half term. Even a cancer
has a sabbatical.

It's good for our mental health.

Sorry, by the way.

I've turned off. No, you called.

That's what the emergency line is for.
You're fine.

How are other things?

Good. Yeah, I've been writing non -stop,
day and night.

I was wondering more about the case.

Oh, they closed the case?

They closed the case?

About a month ago.

Yeah. I took my stuff, the investigation
bags. Is that normal?

Everything and nothing is normal.

What was it like opening them? And I
didn't open them, I put them under the

And they're still there now?

Yeah, but everything is under my bed.

I think it's worth exploring the

possibility you have an idea of self,
let's say A, for Arabella, and

then there's a line, a hard surface, a
bed.

dangerous things, dark things, anything
that contradicts or threatens your

perceived reality.

Go here.

It happens more often than you might
think.

A line is drawn separating bad from
good, friend from foe, men, women,

white, them, us, criminal, victim, God,
devil.

It helps us to deflect.

Avoid feelings like guilt, uncertainty,
self -blame. These feelings are crucial

in the stages of recovery if we can't
process and understand them.

We can't process and understand
ourselves.

Hey, mate. Hey, mate. What are you up
to?

I kept the investigation bags from, you
know, before I'd get him out, but then

there's loads.

All right, nice.

Is this them?

Mate, you've got loads of stuff.

This was a long time ago.

I can't remember.

How many weeks was I?

I can't remember.

I just went and done it, and then I
forgot.

I never really thought about it again.

I guess I... I guess I...

Do you feel like you made the wrong
decision?

What we have to do doesn't always feel
good, does it?

If you felt good, I would be even more
horrified.

When you paint things to make it look as
if you're just the victim and I find

out that isn't the case, it really makes
me question who you are.

Just look in the mirror, do you know
what I mean?

It's really uncomfortable and unnerving
for everyone.

He wasn't sure if you were okay with him
coming in.

Yo, I can go if you don't want me here.

I understand.

Kwame, it was really, it was really
intense today.

And I'm sorry.

I was wrong. What I did was bad.

I locked you in this room.

And I didn't think about it.

I was really dumb and really
thoughtless, and I am sorry. I don't

it. Now, fuck that shit. Please just
forget about it.

I love you.

Yeah, I love you too.

You okay?

Yeah. Are you okay?

Old Terry's self -care train is making
me want to jump in front of one.

So I'm going to go.

To a different location.

You can't tell her. She won't notice.

Right.

Well, I'm going to go back watching TV.

Halloween TV.

Well, because...

So, uh, right.

Be well, mate.

Thanks, Ben.

You sure you want to do this?

What do you need, babe?

Netflix?

Painting?

Chocolate?

Doodle?

Can we

go

for a walk?

Sure.

Colbert, put your coat on.

Come on, come and go.

It's a long walk.

Bella?

What are we doing?

Yes!

Like a kid so runnin' wild is when I
come alive.

Now let's go wild!

Come on!

Let's go!

We'll kickin' at you really well and
keepin' you warm. And if you're comin'

me, I'll cover you red. We're dancin' in
a dungeon every Monday night.

I got work to do. Good deadline. Ain't
they waiting?

I think they are busy celebrating people
who actually... And don't you get paid

on delivery?

You know there's nothing coming out of
that thing, right?

It's not. It's, uh... What?

We walk.

You angry with me?

You angry with me? If I didn't leave
you, none of this would happen.

Glad she told you. For real.

She's the one who gave me approval to
leave. Who's the one?

Oh, shit.

Your dad?

Did he turn up?

My dad, huh? How are you?

Mom? I have to tell you about something
that happened to me in January.

OK.

We'll talk back.