All language subtitles for Ground Up s01e03 Too High

Hi, Alistair. Where are you with the
location for the training and admin

I'm just waiting on a couple of reports
on that. Make it a priority.

What the fuck have you two been doing?
You haven't got a song, or a cheer

or a location for the training and admin
centre. We have a perfectly good

location for it in Kingston.

We are spending a lot of money. How do
we justify to Tasmanian taxpayers all

this premature infrastructure?

Build it and they will come.

to realise they might as well use it.
Can you do whatever it takes to get one

your government mates to lock in
Kingston? A much grander, major

project down that way would shore up
your electoral position there, though,

wouldn't it?

We want a stadium. We need a stadium.

And they never had a bloody gutful over
your...

Prime Minister, we need $670 million for
health funding now.

Well, I was kind of hoping that we could
have a stadium and a health system.

Oh, uh, could you just, um, hang on a
sec?

Returning your call, Premier.

We need that budget revised down.

And if we don't get it by Friday, you
are in breach of the development

agreement. Okay, bye.

Shit sticks.

The unanimous choice is our first...
What's a better word than first?

Inaugural.

Inaugural, coach.

Why use a simple word when you can make
yourself sound like an intellectual?

Rhetorical question, obviously, Jamison.

Yeah, of course.

Why?

Am I day looking any less insane today?

It's full but doable, although I have
got you out of town for a sponsorship

pitch while you're here doing the coach
press conference.

Have you organised the doppelganger?

No, it's just finger food.

Did your mum say anything about the new
coach?

Just that she and the board thought that
there were six better candidates, but

you pushed hard for your man.

This is where I start to put my stamp on
the culture of this place, Jemison.

What are you doing?

Just celebrating your masterful work in
securing the land at Kingston for our

training and admin centre.

What? You... Settle down. It's non
-alcoholic.

It's quarter to nine.

What time do you like to start having
non -alcoholic drinks?

It's no different to drinking orange
juice or coffee.

Why don't you drink orange juice or
coffee?

Because I like the taste of this.

The wine taste?

The non -alcoholic wine taste.

It's a shocking look.

Alice does in the waiting room.

Oh, thanks.

I'll have to handball one of my
appointments to you if my morning's

Some urgent decanting come up. I'm
announcing our coach, Destiny, so I'll

you to do my sponsorship pitch. Me?

The Premier's already dumped the revised
budget in my lap. I'm not a human in

-tray. Is it true?

What's that?

Labor down there have rolled over.
They're now backing the stadium.

Yeah, yeah, we found out yesterday.

Well, that makes life a bit easier. Not
having to deal with those monobrowed

crossbench simpletons anymore.

You got clear and out to get the...

Stadium up and running, the teenage
centre.

Except that the Greens are now trying to
overcome their complete political

pointlessness. Morning, Alistair. By
ramping up a campaign about the costs

spending priorities.

You've just got to hose that horse shit
down, don't you? Yeah, that's all,

Alistair. In a state with the most
rooted economy in the country.

How are you?

Good. But this has got to invigorate
their economy.

Yeah. I'm good too, thanks. I mean,
haven't you explained to them that

got to spend money to make money?

Yeah, but first you've got to make the
money you're going to spend to make

money. So you spend money to make that
money that you're going to spend to make

money? Yeah, but you've got to make the
money you're going to spend to make the

money you spend to make the money. The
conversation could outlive the sun.

Listen, if you started ditching out some
bloody sponsorships, people might see

you're not completely reliant on a
public treat.

And the new coach will obviously help
there. And the other thing is you need

find a woman.

Which woman?

I'm not talking about a missing person.

You need to find a woman, oh man, for a
relationship. What? Why?

This'll be good. Because you'll be going
to B &Fs, Brownlows, official

functions, and if you're not seen with a
woman, oh man, people will think you're

some sort of freak or deviant,
pleasuring yourself all the time. Oh,

man? Or a woman, or someone non -binary
just be single.

Nah, people think it's weird.

But they won't think it's weird if he
contrived a loveless, dysfunctional

relationship. Well, I'm not proposing it
be a dysfunctional relationship

destiny, as inevitable as that probably
is.

It's about the optics.

Good luck down there on Love Island.

Later.

He's nice, isn't he?

Business types like him wouldn't last
five minutes in the public service.

You're a real dream crusher. Right. So
who's the potential sponsor?

What's the pitch? And what about my
budget? Destiny, this is a golden

opportunity to challenge the widely held
belief that you would flounder

hopelessly in the business community.

Oh. Thank you. Pump up the fact that our
coach is getting announced today.

And this time, try to remember that
businesses like Salmania are more open

becoming sponsors if you don't accuse
them of poisoning us all. What if they

poisoning us?

Get them on board as club sponsors
first. We'll worry about the genocide

I look out. Here she comes, the human El
Nino, sucking the life out of

everything in her path, leaving behind
desiccated husks of humanity.

I haven't had enough caffeine for her.

Oh, and you and me, meeting with
Vodafone tomorrow about the stadium

rights. Jesus, Hugh.

Sorry, Catherine, I need some water.

I've got very dry.

Hugh, do you have five minutes for an
idea?

Catherine, I don't have five minutes for
a shit.

Right, then I'll try later.

When you've had a shit.

You know, everything you've told us
about Opitas, your ethical guidelines,

eco -friendly manufacturing processes,
you're exactly the sort of business we

want to be aligned with.

Perfecto.

Opium poppies?

It's not the product. It's the fact that
you're clean, green, Tasmanian and

successful. It is an unusual proposal
though, isn't it?

Because legally we can only supply to
the pharmaceutical industry.

Normally with these sorts of
sponsorships, you aim to generate more

directly to audience. And in our case,
we'd be arrested for that.

Yes. But there is also value in you
aligning yourselves with a Tasmanian

that is going to be enormously popular,
especially after the way your reputation

was totally shredded by the opioid
crisis.

And there's a real...

buzz around the city today because we're
announcing our coach.

So, you know, we are essentially
defining the zeitgeist.

Oh, my God.

That's good.

Yeah, so it is the ideal time to jump on
board, Joanne.

Look, I'm not convinced by this at all.

That said, we do love the footy.

And I do like the idea of supporting a
Tasmanian project.

But, look... Can we start off small and
see how it goes?

Yeah, why don't we start you on the
coach sponsorship?

You'll get invaluable exposure right
from today.

And that's on the lower end, isn't it?
Oh, yeah. Oh, that's more a gesture,

really. Let's do that. Lovely.

That one's $85 ,000.

Quite a sweeping gesture, really, isn't
it? Almost a semaphore.

Yeah.

So we'll just get a little MOA underway.

Oh, we could call the coach's box the
Opi -Taz opium den.

That's not happening.

Along with more than 10 years as a
brilliant senior... Brilliant, maybe.

What's the thesaurus got?

Cerebral assistant coach.

Clever clogs assistant.

Egghead assistant coach.

Hugh, Vamika Mineta's here from the
Greens.

I cancelled this meeting. I rescheduled
it.

Well, I have to prepare for a press
conference.

Well, this is the only slot I have
available for you today.

Right. Come in. Have a seat.

My door's always open, apparently.

Amazing. So, I know that you already
have... Actually, Annika, it's quite

we have this meeting because obviously
the landscape's changed with Labor

reversing their failed election policy
opposing the stadium.

Although, good on them for sticking to
their principles for so, so many weeks.

So while we no longer need to suck up to
you for your vote or indeed listen to

any of the woke piffle your party is
eternally spewing out, this does provide

the opportunity to give you a better
idea about the benefits to the entire

Tasmanian economy of the proposed
stadium you so blindly oppose.

Before you do that...

Could I just ask why we don't use the
existing 20 ,000 capacity stadium in

Launceston instead of building a 23 ,000
capacity stadium in Hobart?

Famika, Launceston does not have the
population base to support the team or

stadium. The numbers simply do not stack
up. I'm glad you raised numbers.

May I?

Well, just watch out for the... Rub that
out, Jamison.

Quickly.

Can I just check that's not a permanent
marker pen?

Not? Yeah. It pays to check, though, I
find.

I've actually suggested to the
manufacturers that they distinguish the

clear. Get on with it.

So the state government has pledged
nearly $400 million

for the new stadium build already. So,
conservatively, they're up for half a

billion. But...

If we just use the existing stadium in
Launceston, an outlay of no billion

dollars, then you could afford to give
20 ,000 people in Hobart $40 each

petrol money to drive to every game in
Lonnie and back.

And even if everyone drives on their
own, that $800 ,000 a game times

11 games a year, you could do that.

for 50 years and you would still be
ahead on the Hobart Stadium build by

50 million.

But how could you be sure that people
wouldn't just spend the $40 on

Or if they did spend it on petrol, how
could you be sure they'd actually drive

up to the game and not to, you know,
Battery World?

I'm not proposing that we actually do
this. I'm pointing out the economic

stupidity of building a stadium here.

All right, yeah, absolutely.

The press release detailing all this
goes out this afternoon.

If the Greens continue to oppose the
stadium, hundreds of thousands of people

will hate you.

They already hate us. My friends do.

There. Thank you. Amazing.

Anyway, I interrupted you. You wanted to
say something about the benefits to the

Tasmanian economy?

Oh, look, it's nothing you'd be
interested in. Just, you know...

Boosting economic activity and
increasing the standard of living.

Creating jobs for Tasmanians.

Anyway, always good to talk.

Isn't it?

Angela wanted me to get some photos of
you and Hugh for Facebook.

Really?

By the way, you're a lucky stalker. Got
that land at Kingston you wanted for

your T &A facility.

What? Soil tests show widespread
contamination.

I doubt it'll ever be used.

It really is.

Incredibly. Lucky.

All good.

Goodbye. See ya.

Jamison, rub that out.

Quickly.

Kingston's fucked.

What? It's contaminated.

Why didn't we do soil tests?

Because Alistair wasn't interested in
due diligence.

What am I going to tell him? Instead of
Kingston, what about the old golf course

at Rosney?

What you can tell him is Opeta are in
for $85 ,000.

$85 ,000?

No, no, I was looking for $250 ,000.

$250 ,000? It's a coup getting 85.

There's nothing in it for them
commercially. We can't make them the

supplier of opium to the Great Southern
Football Club. Jesus.

More's the pity.

Jamison, grab me a spot on ABC Radio
tomorrow.

Better jump on this greens garbage.

All right. Time to make a little
history.

Hugh, just wondering if you've had a
chance to shit.

Uh, no. Not yet. Nope.

Goodness.

We're good to go. Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for
coming. The club and myself are

excited to announce today that the
inaugural coach of the Great Southern

Football Club VFL team is Luke Gorman.

Luke, who is the unanimous choice of the
board, comes to us with over 200 games

of AFL experience as a player, along
with more than 10 years as an effulgent.

senior assistant coach at AFL level and
the board and I are extremely confident

that we've made the right choice.

We're a brand new club with a brand new
approach.

You won't hear from us the tired old
platitudes about focusing on the process

and execution and letting the results
take care of themselves.

We've moved beyond that.

We'll be focusing on winning from day
one and we know that Luke is committed

delivering exactly that. Luke?

Thank you.

This is, of course, a massive honour and
I'm extremely grateful that the club

has put its faith in me.

Look,

first of all, what Hugh just said isn't
strictly true. Sorry, Hugh.

We certainly will be focusing on process
and execution.

Yes, it's not at the expense of winning,
was my point. Well, no, it absolutely

might be at the expense of winning.

Yeah, yeah, in the short term. Well, I'm
not putting a time frame on it.

It's unhelpful to focus on winning and
losing. It's a distraction from the

things that we are trying to achieve
here, like building a strong culture

will attract and keep players here in
Hobart.

Absolutely. Yeah, of course, that will
be much easier if we're winning. We'll

take some questions.

Yeah, bubbles must.

Club, can't wait for the season to
start.

Lovely. Thank you.

You need to stay in your lane.

Look, I know it was your recommendation
that got me across the line.

I'm the coach now.

Stay in my lane? Yeah.

Right. Well, maybe don't try and
overtake me. This is a massive job.

I'll be going as hard and as fast as I
can. You just need to stay out of my

Mate, if I need to get in your way, I'll
indicate.

Yeah, I think you've gone too far with
the driving now. Yeah, I felt that too.

Yeah.

Oh, it's a mad Monday.

It's non -alcoholic wine.

Are you recovering alcoholic?

No. So you're still an alcoholic.

Even so, it's a bit early for wine,
isn't it?

But it's not wine, is it? You just said
it was non -alcoholic wine.

But there's no alcohol, so I might as
well be drinking orange juice.

I'm a wine glass with wine in it. Non
-alcoholic wine.

Which is wine.

Without alcohol.

I've got to be anywhere else.

Hugh? No.

This is not healthy.

Mornings with Libby Kitcher. You're with
Libby Kitcher on ABC Local Radio and my

guest is Great Southern Football Club
CEO Hugh Shen.

And Hugh, just in reference to a story
on social media about you drinking wine

at work, you'd like to clarify that.

Thanks Libby. Yes, so it's non
-alcoholic wine in that glass, so

here. Why not just drink, say, orange
juice then?

What's the difference?

Well, the optics aren't great, are they?

Well, I think we can get hung up on
optics, Libby. Well, someone who hasn't

up is Lenny, who is on the line from
Mornington. How's the weather in

Mornington, Lenny? No idea.

I'm in Eggs and Bacon Bay.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was told that you were
from Mornington. Yeah, I am.

But I moved here when I was three.

OK, your question for Hugh.

Oh, look, I'm just sick of all this
negativity from the Greens about the

stadium. I mean, I am right behind you,
mate. Build the bloody thing and let's

get on with it. We all know it's going
to blow out to a few billion. And I tell

you what, bury all those useless
Greenies in the foundations while you're

Well, thank you for your support, Lenny.
I really appreciate it.

Although I wouldn't necessarily endorse
all those remarks.

Fuck you then. Thank you, Lenny.

Olivia is from Launceston, possibly.

Hello, Olivia.

Hello. How old are you, Olivia?

Eight. Good on you, Olivia.

And you have a question for Hugh.

Yes, my question.

Right.

Well, no prizes for guessing which party
Olivia's parents vote for. Mum and Dad

been in your ear a little bit, Olivia.

No, they died.

I live with my auntie.

I've obviously, I haven't seen the,

I'm acutely aware that the,

I am acutely aware of, sorry Libby, I've
lost my

train of thought, but hopefully that's
answered your question.

Right, do we have time for one more
caller? Yes? Time for one more. Brendan,

you're our last caller for today.

Yeah, hello. Look, I'm a homeless man.
I'm currently living on the street. But

fully support Mr Shen and the stadium.

I reckon it'll be grouse. And, you know,
people who aren't homeless shouldn't

speak on our behalf.

So, Brendan, you are homeless.

100%. But where are you actually calling
from? Because I've noticed you've come

through on a landline.

We seem to have lost Brendan there.
We're just going to try and get Brendan

on the line. Don't worry about it,
Libby. Grateful for Brendan's support.

No, here we go.

Great Southern Football Club, Jamison
speaking.

Hang on. You are an employee of the GSFC
and you have just rung in pretending to

be a homeless man giving unqualified
support to the stadium?

No. No, I don't know anything about
that.

We have actually been having a lot of
problems with our phones this morning.

Typical bloody Vodafone.

In fact, I think even this line might...

I

hope I'm not wandering out of my lane.

Why the fuck didn't you tell us about
this? I thought I'd put it on my job

application. Yeah.

And then not...

Sent the job application.

When did this happen?

I don't know.

I don't remember it. Maybe we could say
it's non -narcotic cocaine.

Online they're saying you're doing
crack.

You need to not say anything to anyone
for some time.

Quick time check. The press is in an
hour, so we need to come up with

It's a deep fake.

It never happened. The internet's full
of them and we're looking into it. Knock

something together along those lines,
Angela.

Please? Christ almighty, any other
disasters I should know about?

The training in Admin Land at Kingston
is contaminated beyond redemption.

I think it's frozen.

Leave it.

You are a Bermuda Triangle for
competence.

Hugh, I am issuing you a first formal
warning for underperformance.

What? No, no, you can't do that,
Alistair.

It's okay, Destiny, thanks. No, it has
to be in writing.

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for
coming.

You'll be aware of a video that's been
circulating on social media purporting

show our senior coach, Luke Gorman,
ingesting a powdery substance.

This is not a genuine recording.

It is, in fact, an artificially
generated deep fake, and the club is

investigating the circumstances around
its posting.

Luke assures us that he has never used
illicit drugs, and the club abhors this

malicious slandering of his reputation.

While these investigations are underway,
the club will be making no further

comment on this matter. Thank you for
your attendance.

A question about homelessness.

Shelter Taz, the peak homelessness body,
has suggested that in light of your

staff members' disgraceful comments on
ABC Radio that you make a substantial

gesture in solidarity.

Is that something you'd be willing to
do?

Absolutely.

I'm sorry, but it's still not.

Joanne, we can still make this work.

As a major producer of poppies, we
cannot and will not be associated with

abuse. But the videos are deepfake.

Well, no one's going to remember that.
Or believe it. All they're going to

remember is that the code sponsored by
us sniffs cocaine off women's bottoms.

So you're worried about perception
rather than truth?

It's about the optics, absolutely.

What if you sponsored a player with drug
testing?

No. Training tops then?

Perhaps try a straw manufacturer.

That park there, okay? Amazing.

Our poppy sponsorship just disappeared
up the coach's nostrils.

Jamison, organise a contract killing on
me, will you? I want to get yourself

done at the same time. It's not coming
out of our budget.

Good morning.

Oh, fabulous.

What dynamite's myth has Nobel got for
us? Right then, everyone's bowels in

order. What? All good. Thanks for
asking. Now that I've got you all here,

wanted to flag an idea.

So for personal reasons, this is an
issue that's close to the heart of one

our directors.

But I think it would make a huge
statement about us if we were the first

club to have a currently listed gay
player come out. We would have a

safe and supportive environment here. We
would be market leaders in inclusivity.

And it's time.

It's just time.

Could we draft in a gay player?

I don't think that's something they have
a test for at the draft combine.

But clubs do a lot of due diligence. You
could easily find out.

I don't think due diligence extends to
what sexually arouses players.

Destiny, any for your thoughts?

I was just trying to think if I've ever
been in a more appalling conversation.

Look, all I'm saying is if you've got
two players that you're trying to...

decide between drafting, similar
ability, and you knew one was gay, could

for that one?

Nope. What if he doesn't want to come
out? Doesn't want the pressure of being

the first in the AFL, being forced to be
the spokesman for gay rights?

Well, that's all right. What have you
lost?

Your moral compass?

I know this is highly sensitive and will
require the utmost discretion, but I

think we can do highly sensitive and
discreet.

The bare -ass lady from the cocaine
video wants to know how much we'll pay

shut her up.

Not interrupting anything, I hope.

We've just had contact from a woman
claiming to be the owner of the buttocks

your little video.

She wants money or she'll go public.

How do we know it's her?

Her name's Ursula.

You can't verify that that's her bum?

Well, I couldn't pick it out of a police
line -up.

How is she going to prove it's her ass?

She may not be able to, but we can't
afford the speculation.

I'm the mug who fronted up and said it
was a deepfake.

If that's shown to be a lie, I'm
buggered. I don't remember anyone named

I say we call a bluff.

Hey, I'm also the one who strongly
recommended your appointment to the

it's my ass on the line.

Because of your line on the arm.

Cute. So how much money are we talking
about here?

25 ,000?

How am I supposed to bury that in the
book?

Put it under high performance.

It's a full cream milk that they use. It
makes this like a war zone. Good

morning. Morning.

Ooh, are they free? Can I have one?

Yeah, sure. They're non -alcoholic. Oh,
don't worry.

Ah, Luke.

Bit of a problem's cropped up.

Ursula's not the only one claiming
ownership of the featured buttocks.

Who else?

A woman called Selina. And a woman
called Bobby.

And a bloke called Graham.

Well, I can confidently rule Graham out.

Doesn't look like his ass.

Any of those other bums ring a bell?

I mean, obviously, we can't keep paying
out everyone who puts their hand...

all bottom up for this, and most of
these people are just trying it on.

it has happened with all three of them,
is that possible?

I mean... Seriously?

We've got no choice but to pay these
people out.

But... If just one of them is genuine
and they go to the press, I'll have

cadaver dogs sniffing at me. So I have
to bury $75 ,000 in the budget?

Do it.

And account number is 179482466.

Excuse me?

Who are you?

I'm Kieran.

How did you get in the building?

I'm from IT.

Oh, fair enough.

So what brings you to the cockpit of Air
Force One today, Kieran?

Um, I'm not able to determine who posted
the cocaine video or... where precisely

it's come from, but we can confirm it's
definitely a deepfake.

And that's the last bomb.

Destiny!

Hugh Shen, tonight's gesture is all
about making amends for what has been a

pretty shabby episode in the club's
short history.

Alicia, I'm here to show that the Great
Southern Football Club and the AFL take

homelessness seriously.

What happened really was a bit of an
innocent joke that went wrong. It

certainly... What was the joke?

I don't think this is the time to get
into that, Alicia. It was taken out of

context. So you're saying that Shelter
Tasmania didn't get the joke and took

phone call to the ABC out of context?

No, please, don't put words in my mouth.
Well, they're your words from your

mouth. That's irrelevant.

You're taking them out of context.

It's your context.

Look, I'm here to apologise if we've
caused any offence.

And to announce that the Great Southern
Football Club is donating $1 ,000 to

Shelter Taz. And in a further show of
support, I, as you know, will be

in this park tonight.

Where it's currently six degrees.

Thanks. Hugh Shen there.

Back to you in a nice, warm studio,
Cass.

We're clear.

Good luck, Hugh.

It's not going to be very pleasant.

Yeah, the optics are great, though.

Sure.

Sometimes you've just got to suck it up,
don't you?

See you at 6am sharp.

Amazing.

Nowhere to hide.

Got nowhere to run to, baby.

Nowhere to hide from you, baby.

Just can't get away from you, baby.

It's my honour and privilege today to
introduce you

to the footballers chosen for selection
in the Great Southern Football Club's

inaugural VFL squad.

What did you do to his arse?

Nothing. What? You whipped it.

Oh, yeah.

I whipped it.

Whipped his arse. Whippin, do you want
to be responsible for the loss of a

massive sponsorship?

Better than being responsible for the
loss of a marine species.

I'm actually the CEO of this club.