All language subtitles for High Maintenance (2016) S02E01 Globo

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,505 --> 00:00:11,671 Woman: So, how are we today? 2 00:00:11,671 --> 00:00:14,004 Good? The Guy: I'm all right, yeah. 3 00:00:14,004 --> 00:00:18,004 You like some water? Yeah, sure, that'd be nice. 4 00:00:18,004 --> 00:00:19,837 Can we get Guy water? 5 00:00:21,338 --> 00:00:25,879 So, what can we do for you today, Mr. Man? 6 00:00:25,879 --> 00:00:29,004 Uh... just a trim, really. 7 00:00:29,004 --> 00:00:31,046 You know, the usual? 8 00:00:31,046 --> 00:00:33,296 You don't seem so sure. 9 00:00:33,296 --> 00:00:35,296 Yeah, I do. I'm sure. 10 00:00:36,754 --> 00:00:38,712 Woman: Here you go. 11 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:44,129 What are you doing here? I work here. 12 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,046 Man: Oh, hell yeah! 13 00:00:48,046 --> 00:00:49,546 Mmm! 14 00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:16,421 Hair Stylist: Okay. I think it's time we scrap it, boss man. 15 00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,380 Wait, why can't I move my hands? 16 00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,213 Just relax, please. 17 00:01:20,213 --> 00:01:22,004 Wait a second, you don't need to use those. 18 00:01:22,004 --> 00:01:23,712 Don't use those. I don't need that. 19 00:01:23,712 --> 00:01:25,213 All right. 20 00:01:39,421 --> 00:01:40,962 Oh, weird. 21 00:01:43,171 --> 00:01:44,837 That was so weird. 22 00:01:45,962 --> 00:01:48,338 Weird dream. 23 00:01:50,796 --> 00:01:53,546 Dude, it was like-- No, no, no, no. 24 00:01:53,546 --> 00:01:55,380 I like you, but... 25 00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:58,254 your worst quality is your dream sharing. 26 00:01:59,338 --> 00:02:02,962 What? Are you fucking kidding me? 27 00:02:02,962 --> 00:02:04,754 Your ayahuasca trip sharing 28 00:02:04,754 --> 00:02:08,129 is something I'd like to nominate as much worse. 29 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:11,879 Oh, look! The envelope just came in. 30 00:02:11,879 --> 00:02:14,213 Oh! And the award 31 00:02:14,213 --> 00:02:17,088 for the worst quality goes to you, 32 00:02:17,088 --> 00:02:19,171 for your fucking night farting. 33 00:02:19,171 --> 00:02:21,254 Oh my God. 34 00:02:21,254 --> 00:02:22,837 You heard that, huh? 35 00:02:22,837 --> 00:02:24,421 Yeah, yeah, I heard it. 36 00:02:24,421 --> 00:02:26,505 It was super fucking loud. 37 00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:27,921 I was asleep and you woke me 38 00:02:27,921 --> 00:02:31,213 when your asshole was just coughing up a lung. 39 00:02:31,213 --> 00:02:34,254 I think this was like, uh, last year's Oscars 40 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,505 and there must've been a mix-up. 41 00:02:36,505 --> 00:02:38,463 You must've-- I'll be Faye Dunaway. 42 00:02:38,463 --> 00:02:39,588 It must've been-- 43 00:02:39,588 --> 00:02:41,671 Oh, I'm the Warren Beatty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 44 00:02:41,671 --> 00:02:44,754 I'd like to accept this award on behalf of all the children 45 00:02:44,754 --> 00:02:47,546 who never had a chance to night fart. 46 00:02:47,546 --> 00:02:49,338 I mean, also I'd like to thank my colon 47 00:02:49,338 --> 00:02:52,004 who's always been behind me. Oh, shit. 48 00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:54,671 Something bad happened. What? 49 00:03:02,004 --> 00:03:03,463 Fuck. No. 50 00:03:15,380 --> 00:03:18,213 I think I'm gonna go to work early. 51 00:03:18,213 --> 00:03:20,046 Yeah, that makes sense. 52 00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:22,505 Jesus. 53 00:03:37,046 --> 00:03:39,296 ♪ Money, money, money, money, money... Yeah! ♪ 54 00:03:39,296 --> 00:03:41,463 ♪ Money, money, money, money, money... Yeah! ♪ 55 00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:43,837 ♪ Hey! Don't call me, boy boy! ♪ 56 00:03:52,546 --> 00:03:54,338 ♪ ♪ 57 00:04:07,546 --> 00:04:09,879 ♪ Money, money, money, it's all you ever think about! ♪ 58 00:04:10,879 --> 00:04:12,088 ♪ Money ♪ 59 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:15,088 ♪ Money ♪ 60 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,421 ♪ Money ♪ 61 00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:18,505 ♪ Money, money, money, it's all you ever think about! ♪ 62 00:04:18,505 --> 00:04:20,588 ♪ Money, money, money, money, money... Yeah! ♪ 63 00:04:20,588 --> 00:04:22,754 ♪ Money, money, money, money, money... Yeah! ♪ 64 00:04:22,754 --> 00:04:25,254 ♪ Money, money, money, money, money... Yeah! ♪ 65 00:04:26,921 --> 00:04:28,254 Brian: Oh, thank God you're working, 66 00:04:28,254 --> 00:04:29,712 'cause I woke up to an email that was like, 67 00:04:29,712 --> 00:04:31,754 "Hey, Brian, we really need you to come in today." 68 00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:34,505 And I was like, "Did you read the fucking news?" 69 00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:39,129 It's like a phantasmagoria of despair out there. 70 00:04:39,129 --> 00:04:40,712 Let me get my wallet. 71 00:04:40,712 --> 00:04:42,962 Yeah, it's fucking terrible, man. 72 00:04:42,962 --> 00:04:44,921 Brian: You know my roommate. 73 00:04:44,921 --> 00:04:46,254 Hey, man. Hey, man. 74 00:04:46,254 --> 00:04:47,796 Oh, holy shit. 75 00:04:47,796 --> 00:04:49,921 Damn, I didn't even recognize you, man. 76 00:04:49,921 --> 00:04:52,380 Yeah, I, uh, I lost some weight. 77 00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:54,921 Yeah, it's great. How'd you do that? 78 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:58,421 Cody: Exercise, and I, like, changed my whole relationship with food. 79 00:04:58,421 --> 00:05:01,588 I've been spinning, running, weight lifting. 80 00:05:01,588 --> 00:05:03,546 Okay. I've been eating a lot of salads. 81 00:05:03,546 --> 00:05:05,129 Which sucks, but you know, 82 00:05:05,129 --> 00:05:06,921 at least I won't be the fat guy anymore. 83 00:05:06,921 --> 00:05:10,171 Brian: I'm terrified to even go outside now. 84 00:05:10,171 --> 00:05:11,837 Is that crazy? 85 00:05:11,837 --> 00:05:13,671 No, it's not so bad out there, though, man. 86 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:16,254 I mean, everyone's being really nice to each other. 87 00:05:16,254 --> 00:05:17,796 It's kind of like post-9/11, 88 00:05:17,796 --> 00:05:19,421 "We're all in this together" vibe. 89 00:05:19,421 --> 00:05:20,796 Oh, wow. The Guy: Yeah. 90 00:05:20,796 --> 00:05:23,796 It's pretty cool. It's peaceful. 91 00:05:23,796 --> 00:05:25,630 Okay, well, I'm not able to be 92 00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:28,962 "in this together" with anyone until I calm the fuck down. 93 00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:32,463 Okay. I got you. What do you have that's good for turning my brain off? 94 00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,463 All right, man, I have to go. It was great seeing you. 95 00:05:34,463 --> 00:05:36,254 See ya, man. Good job. 96 00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:39,505 Uh, God's Gift. That'll put you right down. 97 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:43,796 And, uh, Northern Lights. That'll do it too. 98 00:05:43,796 --> 00:05:45,546 All right. Hey, Cody, you want in on this? 99 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:48,879 No, thanks, man, I'm cool. That shit just makes me hungry. 100 00:05:48,879 --> 00:05:50,046 ♪ ♪ 101 00:06:01,463 --> 00:06:03,796 ♪ ♪ 102 00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:18,796 ♪ ♪ 103 00:06:22,546 --> 00:06:25,712 Woman: Churros? Churros! 104 00:06:25,712 --> 00:06:27,213 One dollar. 105 00:06:27,213 --> 00:06:28,921 Churros! 106 00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:30,421 Churros. 107 00:06:36,213 --> 00:06:38,171 Woman: Fucking monster. 108 00:06:39,879 --> 00:06:41,712 Can you believe this? 109 00:06:41,712 --> 00:06:44,421 No. I can't. It's crazy. 110 00:06:49,671 --> 00:06:52,088 Charles: Class is about to start. I can't. I'm sorry. 111 00:06:52,088 --> 00:06:54,671 Can't even can't without can, honey! 112 00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:58,046 Hey, y'all! 113 00:06:58,046 --> 00:07:00,004 How are you? It's a great day! 114 00:07:00,004 --> 00:07:03,046 I'm Charles! (loud booming bass music playing) 115 00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:05,213 You've already done the hardest part: getting here. 116 00:07:05,213 --> 00:07:08,004 The rest is just pumping to the beat! 117 00:07:08,004 --> 00:07:10,254 All right, everyone, I hope you're clipped in! 118 00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:12,588 Starting, booties in our seats! 119 00:07:12,588 --> 00:07:14,129 Hands, position one! 120 00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:16,088 Who's feeling themselves today? 121 00:07:16,088 --> 00:07:18,254 I know I am! 122 00:07:18,254 --> 00:07:20,546 Think of me as your therapist. 123 00:07:20,546 --> 00:07:25,546 You are going to work out those issues in here today! 124 00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:28,421 Push! Push! Tell your body what it needs. 125 00:07:28,421 --> 00:07:30,380 Give it to it! Give it to it! 126 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:33,380 If you aren't hitting your target RPM's, you're not doing it right. 127 00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:36,712 And what's the point of being here if you're not gonna do it right? 128 00:07:36,712 --> 00:07:38,921 Am I right, ladies, or am I right? 129 00:07:38,921 --> 00:07:40,754 I'm always right. Come on, come on! 130 00:07:40,754 --> 00:07:42,338 Whoo! 131 00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,296 Hit it hard! Go in! 132 00:07:44,296 --> 00:07:45,796 In! In! 133 00:07:45,796 --> 00:07:47,962 Man 1: I know, but I mean, 134 00:07:47,962 --> 00:07:49,837 I gotta think at some point, 135 00:07:49,837 --> 00:07:51,296 there's gonna be some violence. 136 00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:53,296 Man 2: Well, all this going to the gym 137 00:07:53,296 --> 00:07:54,588 will have been for something then. 138 00:07:54,588 --> 00:07:56,588 Man 1: Yeah, you're right. Yo, but for real, 139 00:07:56,588 --> 00:07:58,129 after today, 140 00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,338 I think I finally understand the struggle, man. 141 00:08:00,338 --> 00:08:01,630 Struggle? Yeah. 142 00:08:01,630 --> 00:08:03,338 What you talking 'bout Lewis? 143 00:08:03,338 --> 00:08:04,921 Man 1: It's "Willis" dude. 144 00:08:04,921 --> 00:08:06,129 Man 2: Oh, right. 145 00:08:06,129 --> 00:08:07,630 Different Strokes, right? 146 00:08:07,630 --> 00:08:09,296 Yeah, Different Strokes. 147 00:08:09,296 --> 00:08:10,588 Man 2: I like that show. 148 00:08:10,588 --> 00:08:12,129 Man 1: Yeah, it's pretty good. 149 00:08:12,129 --> 00:08:13,630 You watch black shows? 150 00:08:23,254 --> 00:08:26,213 Man: No, it doesn't matter what you say, nothing's going to change. 151 00:08:26,213 --> 00:08:27,879 You understand me? 152 00:08:27,879 --> 00:08:29,171 Look at this! 153 00:08:29,171 --> 00:08:30,962 Look at this bullshit! 154 00:08:38,463 --> 00:08:40,129 ♪ ♪ 155 00:08:40,129 --> 00:08:42,879 Man: You know what I'm saying? This will not stand, man! 156 00:08:42,879 --> 00:08:44,004 You understand me? 157 00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:46,546 Like, you think I'm scared of going to jail? 158 00:08:46,546 --> 00:08:49,671 Yo, I'm more scared of... 159 00:08:58,630 --> 00:09:01,046 ♪ ♪ 160 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:09,546 I'll put this right here. Anything else? 161 00:09:09,546 --> 00:09:11,505 Cody: No. This is great, thanks. 162 00:09:13,046 --> 00:09:15,505 You're lucky though, I mean... 163 00:09:15,505 --> 00:09:16,962 you've got a British passport. 164 00:09:16,962 --> 00:09:18,254 Yeah, but Brexit. 165 00:09:18,254 --> 00:09:20,630 What's happening here, like, where 166 00:09:20,630 --> 00:09:22,962 Where in the world is safe and sane anymore? 167 00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,962 I don't even know. I really don't even know. 168 00:09:24,962 --> 00:09:27,962 Ooh! Mussels! I love mussels. 169 00:09:27,962 --> 00:09:29,712 Can I have some? 170 00:09:29,712 --> 00:09:31,463 Um... Um... 171 00:09:31,463 --> 00:09:32,712 Sure, yeah, let me just-- 172 00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:35,338 Okay, no, we'll put-- Um, oh! 173 00:09:35,338 --> 00:09:37,004 Been a while. Excuse me! Sir. 174 00:09:37,004 --> 00:09:38,879 You-- you absolutely can't do that. 175 00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,921 Excuse me. I am so sorry. Let me get you-- 176 00:09:40,921 --> 00:09:42,837 Man: They said I could have some! 177 00:09:42,837 --> 00:09:45,254 Man 2: We did say he could have some. 178 00:09:45,254 --> 00:09:46,962 It's crazy, okay? 179 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,254 Excuse me. Everything's upside down now. 180 00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:52,129 It is. I mean, the market's so much more volatile. 181 00:09:52,129 --> 00:09:54,254 It is and that's why, if you have... 182 00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:08,879 ...saying she's too devastated to see patients today. 183 00:10:08,879 --> 00:10:10,837 Excuse me, miss. Okay, that's fucked. She's a therapist. 184 00:10:10,837 --> 00:10:12,962 I know! Guys, excuse me, are you done with this? 185 00:10:12,962 --> 00:10:14,796 Yeah. I didn't know they were truffle fries. 186 00:10:14,796 --> 00:10:16,129 So, yeah. 187 00:10:16,129 --> 00:10:18,754 If you're not available when shit's bad, how the fuck-- 188 00:10:18,754 --> 00:10:19,962 Chef! 189 00:10:36,588 --> 00:10:37,837 Hey, pick up! 190 00:10:53,962 --> 00:10:56,296 Woman: I'll bring your towels now. 191 00:10:56,296 --> 00:10:58,213 Oh, okay. 192 00:10:58,213 --> 00:11:02,129 Okay, let me do the one next door and then I come back. 193 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,630 Man: Be right there! 194 00:11:05,962 --> 00:11:08,004 Cool, thanks a lot, man. There you go. 195 00:11:08,004 --> 00:11:09,463 Thanks! 196 00:11:10,796 --> 00:11:12,837 Woman: Housekeeping! Oh, shit! 197 00:11:12,837 --> 00:11:14,171 Do you think we're getting busted? 198 00:11:14,171 --> 00:11:15,754 I don't know, maybe. 199 00:11:15,754 --> 00:11:18,046 Uh, yeah? 200 00:11:18,046 --> 00:11:19,921 Who is it? Housekeeping. 201 00:11:19,921 --> 00:11:21,338 Oh no, we're good, thanks. 202 00:11:23,380 --> 00:11:25,962 Monica: Dude, my phone is dead. Do you have a charger? 203 00:11:25,962 --> 00:11:27,671 Chris: I don't. Mine is dead, too. 204 00:11:27,671 --> 00:11:30,837 But we do have that nice 2012 charger 205 00:11:30,837 --> 00:11:32,505 if you've got, like, an i4 on you or anything. 206 00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:33,671 Totally not helpful. No? 207 00:11:33,671 --> 00:11:35,546 Completely not helpful. 208 00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,380 So, uh, last night was pretty fun, huh? 209 00:11:40,380 --> 00:11:42,129 Yeah. Yeah, that was hot. 210 00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:44,879 I mean, I'm sure I'm not the first 211 00:11:44,879 --> 00:11:47,380 woman at a party that you've spilled wine on. 212 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:49,630 No. You know, you could've just asked for my number. 213 00:11:49,630 --> 00:11:52,046 You didn't have to ruin my jacket. I promise I really haven't. 214 00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:53,463 I-I feel really bad about that. 215 00:11:53,463 --> 00:11:55,796 I will get that cleaned for you. I have never... 216 00:11:55,796 --> 00:11:57,421 I have never done that before. 217 00:11:57,421 --> 00:12:01,088 Well, I promise I have never done this before. 218 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,712 Mmm. 219 00:12:02,712 --> 00:12:04,171 You did, um... 220 00:12:04,171 --> 00:12:07,671 You did seem to really enjoy all the, uh... 221 00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:09,213 the stimulation. 222 00:12:09,213 --> 00:12:10,463 Oh. Yeah. 223 00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:13,712 Yeah, and there was plenty of stimulation. 224 00:12:13,712 --> 00:12:15,171 You know, I think I could go 225 00:12:15,171 --> 00:12:17,421 for a couple more hours of stimulation. 226 00:12:19,380 --> 00:12:20,921 Yeah? Mm-hmm. 227 00:12:20,921 --> 00:12:22,837 I bet we could make that happen. 228 00:12:24,463 --> 00:12:26,879 Yo, Justin. 229 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,546 What time they say we have to be back tonight? 230 00:12:28,546 --> 00:12:30,712 Client said we had to be back by 9:00, 231 00:12:30,712 --> 00:12:32,630 but I gotta get back to our apartment, man. 232 00:12:32,630 --> 00:12:35,296 Fuckin' Fernando yelled at me last night for a dirty shirt. 233 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:36,712 Dude, fuck that. We're not going home. 234 00:12:36,712 --> 00:12:38,129 I'll just iron your shirt here for you. 235 00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:40,088 Wait a-- wait a second. 236 00:12:40,088 --> 00:12:42,879 So you live together and you work together? 237 00:12:42,879 --> 00:12:44,505 Well, you're a regular Bert and Ernie. 238 00:12:45,588 --> 00:12:47,546 Yeah, yeah, except I never saw Bert and Ernie 239 00:12:47,546 --> 00:12:48,962 do an Eiffel Tower with Maria. 240 00:12:48,962 --> 00:12:50,129 Yeah, bro. 241 00:12:50,129 --> 00:12:52,254 ♪ ♪ 242 00:12:54,213 --> 00:12:56,671 ♪ Come on ♪ 243 00:12:56,671 --> 00:12:58,837 ♪ Come on ♪ 244 00:12:58,837 --> 00:13:01,630 Oh, yeah, fuck. 245 00:13:05,296 --> 00:13:06,630 How you doin' over there? 246 00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:07,754 Fucking amazing. 247 00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:09,463 Yo, get in on these feet, bro. 248 00:13:09,463 --> 00:13:11,088 You don't have to tell me twice. 249 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:22,630 ♪ Even though I love the cemetery ♪ 250 00:13:22,630 --> 00:13:24,962 ♪ No regrets and lies ♪ 251 00:13:24,962 --> 00:13:27,046 Amazing! ♪ I got no control ♪ 252 00:13:27,046 --> 00:13:30,129 ♪ So I wanna roll ♪ 253 00:13:30,129 --> 00:13:32,129 Now, that is food porn. 254 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:35,338 Oh, don't feel left out. 255 00:13:35,338 --> 00:13:36,796 Oh. There you go. 256 00:13:36,796 --> 00:13:38,463 ♪ ♪ 257 00:13:39,796 --> 00:13:41,630 I was wondering if you, by any chance, 258 00:13:41,630 --> 00:13:43,671 had any iPhone chargers? 259 00:13:43,671 --> 00:13:47,463 Oh! Awesome. Thank you. Thank you so much. Bye. 260 00:13:47,463 --> 00:13:48,796 They're sending it up. 261 00:13:48,796 --> 00:13:50,712 Problem solved. It's happening. 262 00:13:55,421 --> 00:13:58,671 Oh my God. Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 263 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,837 ♪ ♪ 264 00:14:10,962 --> 00:14:12,588 Sorry. 265 00:14:12,588 --> 00:14:13,837 It's all right. 266 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,171 Thanks a lot, man. No problem. 267 00:14:17,171 --> 00:14:19,046 Have a blessed day, my brother. 268 00:14:19,046 --> 00:14:20,671 You too, man. 269 00:14:32,338 --> 00:14:35,338 ♪ ♪ 270 00:14:49,712 --> 00:14:52,129 Oh, fuck. 271 00:14:52,129 --> 00:14:53,754 The weed guy. 272 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:01,754 The Guy: Hey, man. Justin: Hey. 273 00:15:02,754 --> 00:15:04,546 How you doing? Good. How you doing? 274 00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:06,588 You know, I'm okay. 275 00:15:06,588 --> 00:15:08,088 Oh, sorry. Chris: What's up, dude? 276 00:15:08,088 --> 00:15:09,879 Hey. What's going on? 277 00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:12,338 Hi. Hi. 278 00:15:12,338 --> 00:15:13,796 Uh, this was on the door. 279 00:15:13,796 --> 00:15:15,754 Oh. Yeah. 280 00:15:17,296 --> 00:15:18,879 Oh, sweet, phone chargers. 281 00:15:18,879 --> 00:15:20,338 Yes! 282 00:15:20,338 --> 00:15:23,754 So obviously, it's a pretty fucking crazy time, 283 00:15:23,754 --> 00:15:25,213 so I don't have everything. 284 00:15:25,213 --> 00:15:26,754 Yeah? Wednesdays big days for you? 285 00:15:26,754 --> 00:15:29,213 N-no. It's just been crazy. 286 00:15:29,213 --> 00:15:32,463 So all I got left are Green Crack. 287 00:15:32,463 --> 00:15:33,588 I got Chem Dog. 288 00:15:33,588 --> 00:15:34,921 I got Sour D. 289 00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:36,421 Um... 290 00:15:36,421 --> 00:15:38,630 I'm gonna go with the Green Crack. 291 00:15:38,630 --> 00:15:40,712 All right. 292 00:15:40,712 --> 00:15:42,421 Here you go. 293 00:15:42,421 --> 00:15:45,088 Thank you. Thank you. 294 00:15:45,088 --> 00:15:47,630 Looks like you guys made the best of a shitty day. 295 00:15:47,630 --> 00:15:49,754 Chris: Uh, yeah, we, uh... 296 00:15:49,754 --> 00:15:51,254 kind of had ourselves a little party, I guess. 297 00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:53,088 It just kind of happened. 298 00:15:53,088 --> 00:15:54,296 The Guy: Yeah, man, I get it. 299 00:15:54,296 --> 00:15:56,712 It's like, you only live once. YOLO. 300 00:15:56,712 --> 00:15:58,463 Oh fuck, I don't have papers. 301 00:15:58,463 --> 00:16:00,837 I got you, man. Justin: Oh, you're the man. 302 00:16:00,837 --> 00:16:02,421 Chris, charger. 303 00:16:02,421 --> 00:16:04,421 Thank you. Dude, what the fuck is going on? 304 00:16:04,421 --> 00:16:06,296 I've got like 22 text messages. 305 00:16:07,421 --> 00:16:09,754 Oh. You guys don't know. 306 00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,671 No. No. What's going on? 307 00:16:14,837 --> 00:16:17,254 What the fuck?! The Guy: Yeah. 308 00:16:17,254 --> 00:16:19,254 Oh, fuck. 309 00:16:19,254 --> 00:16:21,463 YOLO. 310 00:16:21,463 --> 00:16:23,088 I know, Mom. 311 00:16:23,088 --> 00:16:24,712 Everything's gonna be okay. 312 00:16:24,712 --> 00:16:26,254 Thanks, bro. 313 00:16:26,254 --> 00:16:28,129 Mm-hmm. 314 00:16:28,129 --> 00:16:29,879 Yeah, I talked to Jenny. We're still gonna come up 315 00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:31,380 this weekend just like we planned. 316 00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:33,129 Yeah. No, I don't have train tickets yet. 317 00:16:33,129 --> 00:16:36,630 I mean, if only lighting a candle could fucking change anything. 318 00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,546 Yeah. 319 00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:39,712 I know this for a fact. 320 00:16:39,712 --> 00:16:42,796 I am not going to forget tonight any time soon. 321 00:16:42,796 --> 00:16:47,213 Yeah, it's, uh, definitely the weirdest ending to a threesome ever. 322 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:48,962 Right? Yeah. 323 00:16:48,962 --> 00:16:50,338 Probably. 324 00:16:50,338 --> 00:16:52,505 It'll be fine. I'll get tickets in the morning. 325 00:16:52,505 --> 00:16:55,546 Yes, the-- The trains will still be running. 326 00:16:55,546 --> 00:16:56,837 Because I know, Mom. 327 00:16:56,837 --> 00:16:58,588 They're not gonna stop running the train. 328 00:16:58,588 --> 00:17:02,004 I mean, there are just some fucking evil human beings in the world, right? 329 00:17:02,004 --> 00:17:04,296 I mean, how else do you explain something like this? 330 00:17:04,296 --> 00:17:06,004 Fucking horrible, man. 331 00:17:06,004 --> 00:17:07,671 Chris: I love you, too. 332 00:17:07,671 --> 00:17:08,837 Yeah, here's Justin. 333 00:17:08,837 --> 00:17:10,338 Mom wants to talk to you. Oh, fuck. 334 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,505 Justin: Hey, Mom! Chris: Thank you. 335 00:17:13,505 --> 00:17:15,088 Justin: No, no, no, we're fine, we're fine. 336 00:17:15,088 --> 00:17:17,213 Calm down. No, we're with this nice lady. 337 00:17:17,213 --> 00:17:18,421 We-- we met her at work. 338 00:17:18,421 --> 00:17:20,171 She's taking care of us. Oh, shit. 339 00:17:20,171 --> 00:17:22,463 Will you hold that? Thank you. 340 00:17:24,338 --> 00:17:26,630 God. Our mom talks a lot, I'm sorry. 341 00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:31,588 Oh, fuck. 342 00:17:31,588 --> 00:17:36,046 ♪ ♪ 343 00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:05,879 Worst birthday ever. 344 00:18:07,546 --> 00:18:10,754 This is fucking depressing. I'm leaving. 345 00:18:10,754 --> 00:18:13,213 Sorry. Man: Here's what's gonna happen. 346 00:18:13,213 --> 00:18:15,588 The middle class and the poor, they're fucked. 347 00:18:15,588 --> 00:18:16,671 Fuck 'em. 348 00:18:16,671 --> 00:18:19,254 Super rich, the Warren Buffet rich, 349 00:18:19,254 --> 00:18:20,671 they're jumping out with Elon Musk, 350 00:18:20,671 --> 00:18:22,380 drinking kids' blood smoothies, 351 00:18:22,380 --> 00:18:24,962 becoming immortal, living on Mars with Peter Thiel. 352 00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:26,546 You are being so dramatic. 353 00:18:26,546 --> 00:18:28,046 Oh yeah? Yeah! 354 00:18:28,046 --> 00:18:30,046 Were the people who left Germany being dramatic 355 00:18:30,046 --> 00:18:31,630 when the Nazis came to power? 356 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:34,213 Oh, I know you did not just compare our relationship to Nazi Germany. 357 00:18:34,213 --> 00:18:36,254 No, that's not what I'm saying. Man: Ah, cheers. 358 00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:41,129 Mm. Thanks, Ma. I don't think it's gonna be that bad. 359 00:18:41,129 --> 00:18:44,712 You know what I mean? 'Cause it's gonna push creativity so far, 360 00:18:44,712 --> 00:18:47,338 comedy's gonna be great for the next few years. 361 00:18:47,338 --> 00:18:49,213 TV shows are gonna have so much to write about. 362 00:18:49,213 --> 00:18:51,754 I'm out. Whoa, whoa, whoa, no, no, no. 363 00:18:51,754 --> 00:18:53,129 You can't leave. No, no. 364 00:18:53,129 --> 00:18:56,505 I-I... Neil kept me four extra hours today. 365 00:18:56,505 --> 00:18:58,129 I have to go. Yeah, all right. 366 00:18:58,129 --> 00:19:01,338 You do a shot with me and I'll let you leave. 367 00:19:01,338 --> 00:19:04,505 What are we "cheersing" to, stud? 368 00:19:04,505 --> 00:19:06,837 Uh, I got it. 369 00:19:06,837 --> 00:19:08,754 The future is female. 370 00:19:08,754 --> 00:19:10,796 That's not actually a joke. 371 00:19:10,796 --> 00:19:13,630 That's so fucking phony and manipulative of you to say. 372 00:19:13,630 --> 00:19:16,921 All right, I'm gonna take it 'cause you are super hot and I want this. 373 00:19:18,962 --> 00:19:20,671 All right, cunts. 374 00:19:20,671 --> 00:19:21,837 Who's next? 375 00:19:24,837 --> 00:19:26,129 Oh, man. 376 00:19:36,338 --> 00:19:37,712 Hey, creepy eyes. 377 00:19:37,712 --> 00:19:39,962 Oh, the better to creep on you with. 378 00:19:41,254 --> 00:19:44,380 I saw you checking yourself out there. 379 00:19:44,380 --> 00:19:46,671 I know. Should I shave this beard? 380 00:19:46,671 --> 00:19:48,254 No, don't shave it. 381 00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,046 Just encourage a little growth up here, and then it'll all be even. 382 00:19:51,046 --> 00:19:53,837 Oh, man. Are you okay? 383 00:19:53,837 --> 00:19:55,129 Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. 384 00:19:55,129 --> 00:19:57,254 Do you want something to drink? I'd love a beer. 385 00:19:57,254 --> 00:19:59,588 Uh, we don't do beers anymore. 386 00:19:59,588 --> 00:20:01,254 I invented this thing 387 00:20:01,254 --> 00:20:04,921 where you just drink pure alcohol out of a tiny glass. 388 00:20:04,921 --> 00:20:06,712 Ah, shots. I hate shots. 389 00:20:06,712 --> 00:20:08,630 I know. Don't puss out on me, man. 390 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,171 It is end times. 391 00:20:10,171 --> 00:20:12,254 Well, to end times then. 392 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:13,921 To end times. 393 00:20:19,046 --> 00:20:21,213 Oh God, that's so gross. Can I have a beer, please? 394 00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:26,837 The Guy: This is fucking-- Beth: Shh! Please! 395 00:20:26,837 --> 00:20:30,213 Look, Wolf Blitzer-- Oh my God! Would you please, please, please, please! 396 00:20:30,213 --> 00:20:31,380 I'm sorry. 397 00:20:31,380 --> 00:20:32,962 Oh my fucking God. 398 00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:34,254 Hey guys, I'm leaving. 399 00:20:34,254 --> 00:20:36,546 The Guy: Where's home, Luiz? You live in Brooklyn? 400 00:20:36,546 --> 00:20:39,171 Yes. East New York. 401 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:41,004 East New York. What train is that? 402 00:20:41,004 --> 00:20:43,171 Oh, it's fucking far from here. 403 00:20:43,171 --> 00:20:45,046 Yeah, it's pretty late, too. 404 00:20:45,046 --> 00:20:47,712 Speaking of which, are you almost done? Let's get out of here. 405 00:20:47,712 --> 00:20:50,505 Fucking turn into a pumpkin-- 406 00:20:50,505 --> 00:20:52,004 Okay, I'm sorry. 407 00:20:53,712 --> 00:20:58,546 Dude, we made some very fat stacks tonight, brother. 408 00:20:58,546 --> 00:21:00,921 The Guy: Yeah, I made a shitload of money today, too. 409 00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:03,129 People were acting like they were stocking up 410 00:21:03,129 --> 00:21:04,588 for the apocalypse or some shit. 411 00:21:04,588 --> 00:21:07,088 I mean, it fucking feels like the apocalypse. 412 00:21:07,088 --> 00:21:09,505 Beth: Is it bad that I don't feel bad about it? 413 00:21:09,505 --> 00:21:12,630 Because I think I just made my rent in one shift. 414 00:21:12,630 --> 00:21:17,213 Luiz, thank you so much for your hard work, my fellow immigrant. 415 00:21:17,213 --> 00:21:19,962 It is proof again that our labor 416 00:21:19,962 --> 00:21:22,879 is the backbone of this great country. 417 00:21:22,879 --> 00:21:25,004 You don't have to look at me when you say that. 418 00:21:25,004 --> 00:21:27,296 I was looking at the flag behind you. Oh, I see. 419 00:21:27,296 --> 00:21:28,630 Yeah, thank you. 420 00:21:28,630 --> 00:21:30,588 Hey, you wanna smoke a joint with us? 421 00:21:30,588 --> 00:21:32,505 No, it's okay. I gotta go home. 422 00:21:32,505 --> 00:21:35,921 Oh, no, no, no. We've gotta stick together, us immigrants. 423 00:21:35,921 --> 00:21:37,254 Luiz: No. We do! 424 00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:39,588 'Cause this shit is fucked up. We need to chill out. 425 00:21:39,588 --> 00:21:41,129 I don't know if you need a joint right now. 426 00:21:41,129 --> 00:21:44,338 You're kind of-- Excuse me, straight, white, cisgendered man. 427 00:21:44,338 --> 00:21:45,879 I do fucking want that. 428 00:21:45,879 --> 00:21:48,296 Could you roll me a fucking spliff, please? 429 00:21:48,296 --> 00:21:50,129 I do need it. I'm panicked. 430 00:21:50,129 --> 00:21:54,296 He's panicked, and his panic is that he's Hispanic. 431 00:21:54,296 --> 00:21:55,421 Ah. 432 00:21:56,296 --> 00:21:58,296 Okay, and then she said a weird thing. 433 00:21:58,296 --> 00:21:59,962 Everybody, she said a weird thing. 434 00:21:59,962 --> 00:22:01,421 All right. Oh my God! 435 00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:03,879 Good night, Luiz. Thank you, buddy. Take care. 436 00:22:03,879 --> 00:22:05,463 Did I 437 00:22:05,463 --> 00:22:07,671 No, not at all. Good night, sweetie. 438 00:22:14,505 --> 00:22:16,630 ♪ ♪ 439 00:22:39,046 --> 00:22:41,879 ♪ ♪ 440 00:22:59,671 --> 00:23:01,588 Hey. How are you? 441 00:23:03,380 --> 00:23:06,213 Shh, shh, shh. It's okay, it's okay. 442 00:23:35,171 --> 00:23:39,380 (Luiz and Luca conversing in Spanish) 443 00:23:39,380 --> 00:23:43,088 Luiz: That's for you. Luca: Yay! 444 00:23:43,088 --> 00:23:44,630 Luiz: Take it. 445 00:23:44,630 --> 00:23:47,421 This for me? 446 00:23:48,588 --> 00:23:51,754 It's right here. 447 00:23:51,754 --> 00:23:53,046 Luca: Bye-bye. 448 00:23:53,046 --> 00:23:55,546 Luiz: Thank you. 449 00:23:55,546 --> 00:23:57,338 Thank-- thank you. 450 00:24:02,380 --> 00:24:04,421 Oh! 451 00:24:05,962 --> 00:24:07,421 Sorry for that. 452 00:24:12,088 --> 00:24:13,546 Luiz: Bye, globo. 453 00:24:13,546 --> 00:24:16,088 Luca: Bye. 454 00:24:26,505 --> 00:24:28,879 Man: I got it. 455 00:24:33,921 --> 00:24:37,962 (Luiz and Luca converse in Spanish) 456 00:24:40,129 --> 00:24:43,171 ♪ ♪ 457 00:24:45,671 --> 00:24:47,296 There. 458 00:24:47,296 --> 00:24:49,296 Goal! 459 00:24:49,296 --> 00:24:53,004 Luiz: Whoa! Good job. 460 00:24:53,004 --> 00:24:55,796 There! Whoa! 461 00:24:55,796 --> 00:24:59,129 ♪ When I was just a kid ♪ 462 00:24:59,129 --> 00:25:05,046 ♪ They said, "Kid, don't you cry"♪ 463 00:25:05,046 --> 00:25:08,213 ♪ I am older now ♪ 464 00:25:08,213 --> 00:25:09,879 ♪ I say ♪ 465 00:25:09,879 --> 00:25:13,754 ♪ It's all right ♪ 466 00:25:13,754 --> 00:25:18,463 ♪ Every tear rollin' down is a ♪ 467 00:25:18,463 --> 00:25:22,296 ♪ Lesson learned ♪ 468 00:25:22,296 --> 00:25:25,588 ♪ Are you too old to turn ♪ 469 00:25:25,588 --> 00:25:30,171 ♪ Are you too young to burn ♪ 470 00:25:30,171 --> 00:25:34,004 ♪ Too young ♪ 471 00:25:35,421 --> 00:25:39,754 ♪ Too young to burn ♪ 472 00:25:39,754 --> 00:25:44,129 ♪ Too young, too young ♪ 473 00:25:44,129 --> 00:25:48,630 ♪ Too young to burn ♪ 474 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:54,712 ♪ Too young, too young ♪ 475 00:26:10,213 --> 00:26:14,671 ♪ Too young to burn ♪ 476 00:26:14,671 --> 00:26:18,879 ♪ Too young, too young ♪ 477 00:26:18,879 --> 00:26:23,046 ♪ Too young to burn ♪ 478 00:26:23,046 --> 00:26:25,171 ♪ Too young, too young ♪ 479 00:26:34,837 --> 00:26:35,754 -Oh, it's the weed guy. 480 00:26:35,754 --> 00:26:36,588 Wait, weed guy? 481 00:26:36,837 --> 00:26:40,213 He just has like a really intense male look. 482 00:26:40,213 --> 00:26:41,463 He might trigger someone. 483 00:26:47,630 --> 00:26:48,879 -Don't say you're doing Airbnb. 484 00:26:48,879 --> 00:26:51,421 It's illegal but not illegal but really is illegal. 485 00:26:51,712 --> 00:26:54,421 Hell naw! There's a fuckin' snake over there! 486 00:26:57,796 --> 00:27:00,088 -Snake club, bitch! 487 00:27:00,421 --> 00:27:01,754 WOMAN: Snake club! 34512

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.