All language subtitles for wvvv

Hey,

girl. Want some brown liquor?

Brown liquor don't make this pussy bad.

Tequila it is.

Here you go.

So what are you doing here anyway? What
do you think I'm doing here?

I'm starting in the opening thing.

Been there, done that.

Richie? Yeah, that makes sense. Because
you know these

motherfuckers can't read.

I know.

Who goes with your ways, brother?

Well, it's nice to... Phone me, dude, in
a super awkward way.

Likewise, but I've got to be honest,
when I see your profile pic, I bet you

almost twice left because you look mad
goofy.

But surprisingly, you know, goofy niggas
gotta be good, so here we are.

I'll take you for a Jersey girl.

A Jersey girl?

Listen, I love Jersey, yeah, but I'm a
Harlem girl. Born and motherfucking

raised. Real niggas on me, yeah.

Oh, so you're black.

No, motherfucker!

No cat.

The cat.

Fuck all y 'all.

Bitch, spit them pearls back out.

I want your shit.

Hello? So tell me, what's your favorite
scary movie?

I don't really do them. You know, all
the super tropes and shit. Why is it

always the white bitch at the end?
Because they know it's too hard to kill

sister. You know what I'm saying?
Because if the sister can survive

cheese, we can survive anything.

Met you outside. Boy, you is needy.

What's your sign? Must be a Scorpio.

How'd you know?

Good dick, though. But toxic as hell.

Hey, is the restaurant here an alley?
Yes, hurry before they rob your ass.

Frozen? Not today.

Cheap bitch.

Heard you all.

Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.

I'm here. Can you see me? I'm waving.

No.

The person I'm looking at's not waving.

In fact, they're just staring at me.
Well, stare at his ass back.

And don't blink. Never blink. You've got
such felicity to learn. What?

No, they're walking towards me now.

Oh, no, they have a knife.

Why don't I leave his ass over here?

I thought that was the worst part.

The worst part is, you know so much
about horror movies, and yet you still

into the army alone.

Yeah, but the worst part is, you're
fucking with a New York bitch.

Seriously,

Len?

That's a pigeon, nigga.

It's supposed to be... Not bad.

Bitch, I'm Tiana Taylor.

My ass got ass.

Somebody

help me!

Now,

get your hard -headed ass up.

Hey, Tiana.

You might have kicked my ass, but you
still didn't win that Oscar.

What'd you say about my Oscar?

Then I stuttered. You lost.

You're right.

But I won that Golden Globe, bitch.

Oh my god, really?

See, that's why I never watched horror
movies.

It's fucking terrible.

Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and
fart gags.

So, you don't like parodies?

I'm more into Judd Apatow films.

You know.

Elevated comedy.

And what is elevated comedy?

The kind that doesn't actually make
anyone laugh, but makes white people

smart.

Tuesday, don't answer that.

It'd be ghosting.

Oh, come on, Elle.

Stuff like that only happens in the
movies.

Oh, hey.

I wasn't expecting you to answer the
door.

What the fuck?

Here's my knife.

Not good.

Hello, Tuesday.

Just Ritalin for my ADHD, Adderall for
PTSD, a couple Xanax for my anxiety, and

your voter pills.

So good luck getting it up now.

Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take? I
don't know, how many come in a bottle?

Hey, Jeff.

Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital. She
was stabbed by a killer, you know,

Ghostface. Wait, from Wu -Tang?

Why would Ghostface Killa, aka Pretty
Tony, aka Starkey love him and stab my

sister? God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface
Killa. It was somebody in a Ghostface

mask. Ah, okay, that makes more sense.

I hate the wand!

Ah,

Jesus, Jack!

What? I was thinking about wearing this
for Halloween.

I can't make up for the past.

Well, hey, hey, hey.

I'm going with you.

Not because I'm the obvious killer
trying to lure you back here home town.

I'm just a supportive boyfriend.

Yeah. That's all.

Okay, let's go. Get in the car.

Listen, we just have to make one stop on
the way.

I survived.

All thanks to my lucky penny.

I'm a cool mom. Everybody wish they had.

I'm lit.

Don't forget, I got practice later, so
I'll be home late. You only made the

because you're black, and those racist
fucks assumed you could play.

It's 2026. I don't think race is an
issue.

Do you read black Twitter?

No. Oh, Ray, are you still dating that
hoe?

Okay, stop hoe -shaming her, Tessa. Just
because Daryl and them ran a train on

her doesn't make her a hoe. She's not a
hoe.

She's sex positive.

Well, I'm positive she's a ho.

Hey, girl!

Look at you!

Early for Halloween, huh?

What you do this year? Bloody
schoolgirl.

Happy, huh?

Hi, Miss Me.

Love the hair.

I mean, I'll take it center.

Well, thank you very much. I gotta
invite you over and make you a little

pie. Ooh, you know what? I gotta get to
African -American history class. We're

learning about slavery.

Time to find out. It was a choice. You
see that right there?

That's Kanye.

That's right.

They've been teaching us wrong all this
time.

Mm -hmm. Stay black.

Bye, Mom.

All right. Bye, baby. Bye, baby. Bye.

Son, I put some condoms in your bag. You
know how they try to trap y 'all.

Okay,

seriously? Sheriff Greg, you don't have
to walk me to class. I'm fine.

Jess, there's a serial killer on the
loose.

I'm not going to let anything happen to
my baby girl.

Boy, okay? I'm a baby boy. I'm sorry.

I'm having a hard time with this
transition.

Okay, it's really simple.

Treat me like one of the guys.

Okay?

I can do that? Yeah.

Slap fight.

Oh, you call that a slap?

Who the hell did you do that for?

I look like such a bitch.

Bitch.

You look like shit.

Hey, please. This is clearly a woman
who's run out of condition.

Oh, be careful where you walk. The whole
place is a booby trap.

You never know when that psycho's gonna
come back.

Come in.

Okay.

I

hate

this job.

Mr. Campbell.

I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.

I've heard so much about you.

None of it good.

I have heard nothing about you, Jack. I
assume you're a piece of shit. But how

would I know when I haven't heard from
my daughter in, what, six months?

Six years, mother. And whose fault is
that? And whose fault is that? I don't

know. Maybe it's yours.

That's fair.

We want to learn from the horror you
survived.

Look.

Scary Movie 3 and 4 paid me a lot of
money for a girl. There is nothing to

there. But if you want to talk about the
house, buddy, shoot.

It's happening again.

Some asshole in a mask. We have to stop
him.

You're not ready, lovebug.

I have been preparing for this for
years.

Sacrificed everything.

You are a terrible mother.

Come on, honey. We have some good times.

Like that... Christmas, I took you to
meet Santa at the mall.

Your turn, Sarah.

Move. Hi, Santa.

Sorry if I don't fit in your lap.

You creep me out.

Santa doesn't exist.

Mother, I need your help. To heal our
emotional wounds and put the past behind

us? Oh, God, no.

No, to kill Ghostface.

Do you have any guns?

I am Cindy fucking Campbell.

I've got millions of guns, but none of
them are registered due to my mental

health issues.

So if you could just keep that on the
low.

Okay, so I spoke to Sarah earlier.

Oh, is she coming? You know what I did?
Hear a buzzing sound.

So it's possible. No, I meant to
Woodsville.

Dumbass. Oh, I forgot that.

Hey, Jimbo!

Go deep!

Oh!

Sweet!

Speaking of going deep... Uh, I don't
know if it's a good time.

Everyone knows what happens to teenagers
who try to make love when there's a

killer on the loose.

Brad's right about one thing, guys.

Okay, Ghostface is back.

We need to arm up.

Pepper spray?

Check.

Taser. Check.

Butt plug?

Double check.

Goddamn! You just carry that thing
around?

It's easy to hide.

In your butt?

I'm impressed.

I'm tired of you little Gen Z alpha
niggas using terms like onk and auntie,

gaslighting, blazing and glamping,
trying to make my generation sound old.

ain't your damn onk, nigga.

Shorty, you're a mother's brother, so
yeah, technically you are our uncle.

Oh, my bad.

It's crazy that they let you teach here.

Teach? Nah, nigga.

I attend.

You're looking at a proud 25th year
senior.

When are you finally going to graduate?

By the time we do a sequel and I gotta
follow you little young niggas to

to get my check. Wait, guys, Tuesday's
awake.

All right, Tuesday. Who the fuck is
Tuesday?

Hey, we gotta go to the hospital. You
gonna take the bus home?

Nah, the PJ.

Private Jed?

Yeah, jealous.

Man, you smoke weed all day. Just play
video games, live stream.

You literally got money doing nothing.

Exactly. I leave the hard work for the
old head.

Jesus!

Still the same shorts.

Check my crypto. Oh shit, I'm up three
million dollars.

Damn, now I'm down five million.

This shit, we're crazy, son.

Sister Brenda, it's okay.

You heard the call of sin. Yes, you did.

But the Lord has called on us to show
men such like you the way.

Come on, son.

Come with us.

Come on us.

God see you coming. So don't cheat that
come on. We need you to come like you

never came before.

Come for the father, come for the son.

I'm going to hold your hand and we're
going to come together.

Oh, my bad.

Last time.

Let's welcome a new member to our
congregation.

There'll be one here.

I'm not gay no more.

I'll go along with it.

Thank you.

I have to make it dance around and
juggle some knives.

Sarah, who's that Jeffrey Dahmer
lookalike?

This is my boyfriend, Jack.

Really nice to meet you.

Look like Ted Bundy to me.

But that ain't none of my business.

This old stabbed up bitch here needs
some rest.

So y 'all, get the fuck out!

Yes, ma 'am.

Oh, not you, Sarah.

Why? What did I do?

I'm so scared.

Oh, twos. You should be.

You've been stabbed nine times.

And the killer knows where you live.

I would invite you to come stay at my
place, but I don't really want that kind

of juju in my house.

For all we know, he's standing right
outside that door.

Comforting, Sarah.

I thought I was going to die.

I know, me too.

And I wrote your obituary.

More like Chachi T wrote it. But you're
still here.

And I will never let anyone hurt you.

this shit, baby. That's my show. Frogs
and that Idris Alba make this Gucci

pop, pop, pop.

Dear Lord, please accept this white
bitch in.

Oh! The Lord works in mysterious ways.

I'm going on break.

It's metal. I told you, I fell.

Now where exactly are we going?

Let's do an experiment.

Go away!

I'm so sorry to bother you. We just want
to ask you a few questions.

Give me one good reason why I should
talk to you.

I'm white.

Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens' wife.

Oh. That's it.

When you said expert, I assumed you
meant more like the old grad type than

class. I'm Sarah Campbell.

I was attacked last night. I think you
should leave.

I don't want to get stabbed, and I don't
want COVID, okay?

Please, come on. Just two minutes.
That's all I'm asking. No, no.

I'll give you eight minutes.

And another thing.

Oh, I can taste it. Go.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

When did the work week become the woke
week? We've got Black Friday. What's

next? Mulatto Monday?

I mean, Yellow Thursday?

Yep,

you're good.

You're Cindy's daughter, right? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know him.

Oh, this is Jack, my love interest.

No, no, no, no.

Rule number one of surviving a horror
movie is never trust the love interest.

Look at him.

He's got that weird lazy eye poking one
leg and he's drooling like a psychopath.

He's got that stump leg.

Makes the ball walk weird and creepy.

I don't have a stump leg. Oh.

I'm looking at me.

Just off your duty.

Retired.

Listen, Doofy, we could really use your
help.

Yeah. I can't go back to that life.

Plus, we're in the middle of a global
pandemic. Okay, I hate to break it to

but COVID has been over for, like,
years.

Really?

Yeah.

Damn it!

What am I going to do with all this
candy?

Get out. I don't want ghost shit to find
me. And don't come back.

Okay,

just because he showered doesn't mean
that... Yeah, I didn't shower. I just

water from my mouth.

You want some?

No, that's okay.

Come on, do you see?

Yeah, feel it.

Sarah, is your Vietnam mom coming? Or
can we start talking about this plot?

Uh... Hi.

You came.

Not in like 15 years, honey. But I did
buy this.

New rose, so fingers crossed.

from the weed, smoke, your love of the
McRib and racist cops?

I didn't think you had a chance.

Yeah, that's a terrible comment.

Hi, Sam.

Stop smiling at me!

Shit! World star!

World star! World star!

Hey, he's intellectually disabled.
That's just how he looks, you drunk

Hey, hey, hey. Don't call that white
bitch a honky. Come on, have some

It must be some kind of curse.

Hey, everybody.

Look what I got.

Non -branded gelatin shop made with
brain alcohol and GHB. So ain't nobody

sipping that name consent to life long
time, which I apologize.

Take one. I love being myself.

No. You sure, baby?

You know,

Ma, this place could be so cool if you
had, like, a beer pong table over there,

maybe like a snack wall.

What you know about cool? When I was
your age, I was popping bottles with

Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, all the
Shons.

That ain't as well. Your mama was the
freak in the free course.

You want to see something cool?

I'm going to show you something cool.

Ted Bundy eyes, looking like a full
shooter. I think you the killer. Oh, me?

Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over
there?

I don't have a motive.

You know, what's my motive?

You were the killer in the first movie.

Shouldn't you be locked up? No, I got
pardoned. Mostly because of the storming

the Capitol, you know. I got proof.

It's me.

I'm trained.

That's a cool hit.

What about Jeff?

What about me?

If anybody here has issues that could
lead to murder, leave me in the

Transpaming is not cool, okay?

He's just a dude.

Minus the for body strength and the dick
part.

Hey, you don't know what I got down
here, okay?

I do.

Listen,

what we know so far is everyone who's
been attacked is related to the original

characters. He wants to kill the kids.

A what now? Yep, it's like a reboot and
a sequel, mixed with legacy characters

with new characters, and then it's had
to feed into bullshit nostalgia and

more fans to the theater. Just like last
year's I Know What You Did Last Summer.

That's a movie?

What did I do last summer? I think
you're talking about the summer I turned

pretty. Yeah.

Ray, when did you get here?

I walked in here. I was just hanging out
by the minimum.

our killer is writing his own version of
horror movie.

Okay, so according to the rebooty call
rules, who's the killer?

I think it's pretty obvious.

Who?

You, bitch.

Me? Guys, I am not the killer.

Ghostface attacked Tuesday to lure me
back here. I think he attacked Tuesday

get you back here.

So he could get me back here.

He wants to kill the OG.

That was a flex.

Yeah, that sounds better.

Fuck this!

And fuck you, mother!

To your mother?

Ancient Underwood?

I'll give you one hint.

What's your favorite scary movie?

Well, I'm going to go with Saltburn.

I mean, the member on that English guy
was terrifying.

And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was
a much better depiction of the male

anatomy. Now, what do you want,
fuckface?

Well, I'm just calling to tell you that
by the time you get home, I'll have

gutted your baby girl.

Hey, asshole.

She's a boy.

for this?

Let me help you.

I got your baby dick.

Winky, winky, winky, winky.

Alright, here we go.

What do you want, fuckface?

Like father, like son.

I understand you're home alone.

Dad's out, but the pool guy, the
gardener, and the plumber are all here,

asshole. Look out your window.

No, but they're the backbone of the
American workforce.

And I'm too white to do those jobs.

But cut to the chase.

I'll ask you one question.

If you answer correctly, you live.

Who was the killer in Horror Movie?

Oh, that was easy. It was Bobby and then
K. Ray, the guy who was totally into

dudes, even though he claimed he wasn't.
Classic 2000s homophobia.

But I got you, bitch. Wrong. You forgot
Special Officer Doofy. Now you die.

Oh, fuck that!

You should probably answer that.

I can... I can literally see you trying
to steal my package.

Ow, shit!

That was easy.

Uh, someone over at Steak's. Let's go,
Puff.

What do you think?

Careful. You wouldn't want to let any
children... You are about to identify as

dead!

A girl.

Come on, girl! It's that Ghostface show
for you! Try the Ghostface Camera

Collection Bundle. This is Kiki West for
OnlyFans Rapid News. Rapid News? You

mean BAPid News! You don't even have a
cameraman!

My equipment!

Excuse me.

Oh, my.

You're... Yes, yes.

three -time Emmy nominee for Outstanding
Achievement in Sensational Reporting.

I was gonna say the lady from Friends,
but shorter, with less Botox. Is that

what you were gonna say?

You seriously don't know who I am? Baby
girl, I am Doofus.

Hail Storm. Get the hell out of my way!

Doofus?

You haven't aged a day.

You've aged like a million days. That's
as many as mine. Yeah, your fingers felt

like genitals. What are you doing in
that ridiculous uniform?

I'm back on the case.

Yeah, I'll get a bus to Ghostface.

Well, um, tell me, Special Needs Officer
Doofy, um, are there any suspects

in this tragic yet completely
predictable incident?

I could not let you say.

No, no, no, no.

Yes, you can. I did not. Yeah.

So mean.

Hey, remember when you used to give
blowjobs for sensitive information?

I don't give blowjobs anymore, okay? Not
since Me Too.

Okay, sorry.

I give handjobs now, but the story
better be good.

Okay, I'll do a handjob. Let's do it.
Let's do it.

Maybe weed shouldn't be legal.

Fuck yeah, it should.

Hello,

shorty. You didn't know that smoking is
bad for you?

Well, actually, weed ain't bad for you.
You got vitamin T, C, and H, C, B, and

D.

What's the matter, Shorty?

You look a little antsy.

Maybe because there's a masked serial
killer sipping tea in my den.

Shorty, you're my nigga. I mean, friend.

Please. All right.

Do you want to quit smoking?

Well, to be honest, I tried to quit.

But my mother said I ain't raising no
quitters.

So I quit quitting.

We can try and notice.

Bro, I don't care how many poppy watches
you try and wave in front of my face.

It ain't gonna work, son.

You can't magnetize me.

Sleep.

Shorty.

What's up?

Tell me about your mother.

Damn, nigga.

Let's start with something light. Like,
do you lick ass? Yes or no?

The answer's yes.

So what happened to her, Shorty?

She was coming home.

Her car was parked on the side of the
road.

Someone was in it.

And something bad was happening.

Why didn't you call anyone?

I couldn't.

I had a warrant.

I started young, nigga.

Oh, what do you see?

I see a big explosion of water.

It was like a civil life house.

Police said it was a murder -suicide.

She killed that man.

When they opened the car door, his
little body just slid out.

the green nigga in the shape of water.

I just didn't want it to be real.

What don't you want to be real?

That my mother was a squirter.

Okay. She was a squirter. All the floors
in her bedroom was warped. I can't

move. You're paralyzed.

Now, sink into the chair.

No, wait. Sink.

I must have been Elon Musk.

probably right. She's tough, but let's
see her get stabbed in the cut.

I'm gonna die.

Bobby, you're already dead.

This hallucination is a manifestation of
my own guilt for being an awful mom. Or

it could be the shrooms I just popped.

You're gonna die.

Bitch, you ain't killing me.

You're gonna die.

Everyone smiles in here.

Oh, um, could you point me in the
direction as I see you? That way or that

Visiting hours are over.

Oh, yes, of course.

And that's your lap. See, people think
it's your lap, but it's actually

shopping. Boy, your hair look like
fondue. It's dirty.

Hello? Fuck this.

I'm gonna miss you all.

Oh hell no! Stay quiet, don't talk!

Stay quiet, don't talk!

Not to murder you or anything like that.
Then why are you wearing gloves?

Would you believe I am thinking about
dressing up as OJ Simpson for Halloween?

But those fit.

Look out!

Whoa! Y 'all cool, bro? You almost did a
fade! I mean, no!

Oh, yeah!

Let's go!

Let's go!

I'll judge you like a pig!

That is a stupid lie!

That is so true!

What are you gonna do?

Turn me into bacon?

I've gotta get better writers!

I love you!

I love your answer!

Wait until I stick my knife at them!

I'm crying over here.

Excuse me, out of the way. Step aside.
This will be a picnic.

You'll be... Oh, you son of a bitch.

I'll keep your mom in check. I'll keep
your mom in check. I have the pain. The

agony. Sarah, if I don't make it.
Seriously, Tish. Stop trying to win an

It's a horror movie. It'll never happen.

Just ask Demi Moore.

No. No.

No. No.

What the fuck?

I did it on myself.

Me knew you were guilty.

He got you in the head.

He got you in the head.

No!

My finger!

Fuck your ass.

That's my ass.

Any last words?

And that's another day of me getting
paid mad money for doing absolutely

nothing. Why, you stupid motherfuckers,
watch out!

You didn't call me dumb!

I want to give a smooth shout -out to my
sponsor, Angry Orchard Hard Silence.

legend in the streaming game. Give it up
for Kyle Simmons!

Let's get serious. What brings you to
the chat?

You promised I was going to be in a
movie.

I've been calling you. You ghosted me.

Bro, I thought that was one of my crazy
ass baby mamas. That's my bad. Speaking

of ghosting, somebody wants to talk to
you.

Hello?

Go smack the -

wife hates you you believe the earth is
flat and you voted for trump three times

now what's the vote for the woman huh i
believe shorthand is the notorious ghost

face you did

look pretty sketchy i

got the wrong guy and you know that
because you're sick no

I don't know.

That guy's black.

Kind of. Not that black.

Like gravy brown.

Hit him with your strong hand.

Arrest him anyway.

Turn off your body cams.

This hailstorm, welcome back.

Doc, I'm begging you. You gotta help me.

younger. These little bitches are
killing me out there. They're wearing

but a sausage casing and a ring light.
Trust me with this withered, decrepit,

age -ravaged body and I will make you
whole.

One middle -aged white lady special
coming right up.

Thanks. I'm going to play a quick video
on the ins and outs of the procedure and

then we'll get started.

Do you wish you weren't so old and
saggy?

Do you wish you were younger?

Thanks, you're fuckable again.

One single injection unlocks your DNA,
creating a new barrier.

This is the stuff.

Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow
crap that makes you smell like a vag, is

it?

You were thinking it.

White chips to my ass.

I feel very fucking new.

I feel very fucking new.

Hey, Sarah.

Tuesday, I tried to visit you. I am
sorry for everything, especially

your name. It was Taco Tuesday. I was
super drunk.

But I promise you, I will kill this
motherfucker.

It's fine, really, we're cool. I'm going
to take you to the car.

I'm taking Jews away from all of this.

I tried to run too, but it follows.

Now you're probably expecting a
flashback to that movie, but it's too

Yeah, and you're probably going to have
sex.

Candyman. Candyman.

Are you sure about this? Yeah.

Keep saying it.

Candyman.

You got that candy, man?

I got weed gummies, K -nuts. Yeah.

And what takes you so long to show up?
Come on, Clarence. I called you five

times, nigga. Show up in three. You
ain't even call me on the phone.

Lucky I was walking by and heard y 'all
through the hole in this wall.

Fix that shit.

You shut your ass up. You need to go to
a proctologist and get your skin looked

at. Having acne over the age of 40 is
wild work.

I look better than this, nigga. Maybe on
this side. Hey, ain't no time for

beating. We about to be high as fuck. We
gon' party, son!

Help me out with these, y 'all.

Rock out with those face.

That's right.

Pick up.

Hey.

I love it. Come in there.

You look so good.

You seen your sister?

Frank,

you seen Gay?

I can't find her since she went to that
protest.

No.

Nah, Brenda, that's gay.

Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.

I wish I knew how to quit you, but I
can't.

You love that movie.

Hey, Brenda, have you seen my big old
bag of candy? It had chocolates,

lollipops. It's going missing. No, no,
no, it's not missing. I passed it out to

the sugar treaters.

Brenda, that's mustache.

Hey!

Do you know how many baby seals die from
microplastics?

My god, he stabbed her. Not her.

My pronouns are they them.

He stabbed them.

I'm over 40. How am I supposed to keep
up with all of this?

He's not wrong.

It's Karens like you that keep the
patriarchy going with their knees on our

necks. Now you're playing the race card?

I have enough of her shit. Bad shit,
bitch.

Good, ignore the insults. They don't
realize we're here to help them.

Toxic masculinity and mansplaining
doesn't help anybody.

How is my masculinity toxic?

I love women and sports.

Just not together.

Come here, bitch.

What's up?

Be nice. Hey, friend. Be nice.

Uncle Shorty? What's up, nephew?

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, sure.

It's about, you know, how to go down on
a girl.

You talking about eating pussy?

It's so cringe, but yeah.

So maybe if you stop talking like a 14
-year -old white girl, you can learn

something. All right, so listen up.
First thing you gotta do, you gotta

the man. You gotta open it up. Ain't one
of those things.

Sometimes you can use two.

Two fingers, like that there.

Now, once you get it all in there, now
you gotta use your tongue.

You can't be afraid of it.

Lean into it.

No, no, no. You're doing it too fast.

Listen.

You gotta be gentle. You gotta talk to
it.

Boom.

It's like rolling in the blood.

All you gotta do, nephew, is...

Suit that shit.

Got it.

And, uh, if you want to learn to lick
ass, that's your mama.

Oh, you feel so good.

Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

Elle, I want to try something.

I thought you said you'd never let me
pet you.

What? No.

Relax.

I just want to taste you.

Okay.

Dinner time.

Oh, yeah. Come here, baby.

Oh, careful.

Mikey's a gangster.

Oh, it is gangster.

Okay. He's already want some more. Yeah.

You feel so much better and better than
them. Get back in there. Yeah,

lick it.

I need to finish her.

Oh my god!

Just like rolling a blunt.

Now all I gotta do is hit it.

Ow!

What the fuck? Hey there.

We heard tell of a Halloween party.

You did now, didn't you? We're here to
drink and play bad music.

Do some half -gay shit.

Why just half -gay?

Can I help you?

If you'd just invite us in.

Why do you need an invitation?

Why do folks show up to parties
uninvited all the time with their little

-ass casseroles?

Bland as shit. Y 'all better stop using
some loudness.

And why she got them dirty -ass feet?
Looked like you was walking around porn

sets all day. Got them trailer block
toes.

I think you're in the wrong place.

Y 'all playing?

No. We believe in music.

equality. How about we show y 'all? It's
okay, no.

Well, we're moving on up to the top to a

deluxe apartment in the sky.

We're moving on up. It gentrifies the
jealousy.

Wheezy's rolling around in her grave
right now. You can't do this to the

national anthem.

in one of those frat parties where they
drink until they black out and wake up

with their booties hurting, not knowing
what someone in a cowboy hat did to

them. Yeah, what?

Okay, well, we will leave you guys
alone, but we're going to walk real slow

in case y 'all change your minds.

Change your minds yet?

No. Hell no.

How about now?

No.

Hell no.

Right folks, it's getting weird.

Guys,

I think I saw an open window over here.
That window's closed.

Not for long.

I thought inhalers were the worst plot
device in every history.

That's true. Should have been in vain.
But we're here now, so let's make the

most of it. And wear the white clothes!

Sarah?

Hello. Get your sister and get out of
there right now.

Okay, hon? I am a grown -ass woman.

Mother, I don't have to do anything
you're telling me to do. That's the

where your son -in -law killed those
people.

Someone wanted to get him there.

Which means someone wants to get me
there.

Oh, my God, this isn't about you. Why
are you doing this? Because you are so

fucking far away.

Wait, hold on. Are you tracking my
phone?

Shh, you're breaking up. Yeah, shh.

Okay? I just found this thing in the
shed.

Jeez.

Come on, bro.

That's even worse.

I didn't mean it that way.

Some of my best victims are black.

And another brother falls victim to gun
violence.

Turns out race is still an issue.

That's not fair.

You know, black eyes usually die first
in horror movies.

Yeah! Just give a whole new meaning to
Dead by Daylight.

Yeah.

Goofy ass out of here.

Hello,

shorty.

Get him, baby!

You were about to be hired.

Oh, why are you running backwards, son?
Oh, no, it's not me.

Something's wrong. Man, you're a motive
of the day.

Game on, bitch.

Outside, getting some fresh air. Stop!

What are you?

She's the killer.

Well, why do you have blood on your
hands?

I found that out.

She's the killer!

I am not the killer.

I'm not even positive.

I'm a virgin.

No way.

What does that even mean?

It's when the shit goes.

Do you have one bigger in black?

Oh, right. Thanks.

Hey, who are you? John Wick?

I would have said ballerina, but nobody
saw that shit.

Let's do this.

Okay.

Help.

Help me.

I just would not make it if you leave.
What do you think?

I think Drake lost to Kendrick.

Oh, that's definitely a trap.

She don't know where the baby's at.

Cindy.

Hello. Looks like you forgot the first
rule of surviving a horror movie. Never

answer the phone.

I thought the first rule was you never
trust the love of her.

Really? Well, I'm changing the rules.
How about that?

New rule.

Go fuck yourself.

Wait, wait.

Why do you hate closets so much? I told
you to come out.

I didn't want to get shot.

Ironic, isn't it?

You make me sick.

Oh, God, it's Goosey.

It's just a

metaphor. It was about

losing his wife. Sure, it's not an
allegory.

Those girls look good.

I know your sister Wednesday, Tuesday.

Have to clarify that for legal reasons.

But I prepared you for this.

So go on, baby.

You kill him.

listen to Doofy.

The love interest.

It just seems too obvious, you know?
Which makes you think it is not obvious.

Yeah,

well, that's the twist.

Now get in the kitchen. Go.

Okay,

listen up.

See, there hasn't been a great horror
movie since the first one.

We're going to save the franchise.

Go get our special guest star.

Why else would there be a scary movie 6?

It wouldn't work with just the new
characters, would it? We need the legacy

characters. Oh, and there wouldn't be a
Cindy without her sassy black sidekick

Brenda. You ain't have to say black with
no heartbeat like that.

franchise.

My name's Kevin, and Kevin said no.

Kevin Hart said no? That little
motherfucker says yes to everything.

Yeah, he does.

But wait, there's more.

Johnny!

Bitches! Ray!

Shorty! Yeah, that's right.

For Black Killers.

We're making history.

It's a new definition of Black
excellence.

But why would you do that?

Question it is.

Why would you try to make a sequel
without us, huh? Yeah. When the studio

to replace these brothers, I was there.

That's right.

What about me?

What about you? You were in one scene in
part four.

Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr.
Phil cut his foot off. And he crazy now.

Yeah, he got weird.

But you see what they trying to do? They
trying to pit us all up against each

other. They trying to start black on
very black crime.

That's right.

Yo, Shaq.

I'm proud of you, bro. You've had an
amazing career as a sports commentator

since retiring from basketball.

And I love the big podcast.

I love that shit.

Even though I don't understand a word
you be saying, you be on that show until

I... Kobe.

Enough.

But my point is, nigga, I love your
shit.

But I never got over Kazam.

What the fuck you talking about? I'm
doing it for the culture. What culture?

Culture club.

Come on, Ray. We're killing people. Stay
focused.

All right, all right. We back.

Hey, don't you worry. We family.

Mad respect.

Hey, Black is nominated for eight Emmys.
My nigga.

Actually, the show was only nominated
for five.

I was nominated for eight.

But you never would.

What?

What about you?

Well, I had a chance to work with the
incomparable Charlie Shane.

That's good.

He's a legend in his dick games. Crazy.

You know, he slept with 47 ,000 women
and a thousand of them women were dudes.

Lucky guy.

Wait, so y 'all gonna kill us now?

Nah.

What would Halloween be without Jamie
Lee Curtis?

Or Scream B without Neve Kim.

That would be Scream 6.

How did you guys pull all of this off?

Sandy, you know how many Wayne's is
there off?

Make a billion.

Billions. I'm just so happy that the old
gang is back together.

Okay, in the middle, on three.

Corn 4.

Uh -oh, no, no.

That's corn. That's white.

What about the young?

Or the old and then the beautiful. Or
the cute and the crusty. Yeah, or the

and then the cute.

We were brought in to take over the
franchise.

That's right.

You made me like 70 years old.

I should drag that one to a sewing.

The fuckers always come back. Oh no. Not
this time!

Exactly.

Oh, no.

I kind of like you.

You do, right?

We should play the violin.

You want to dress up like a violin?

No, I want you to dress up like a
violin.

I'm feeling dressed.