All language subtitles for Natale A Rio 2008rtrtrtrt

[Fabio] I am Fabio Speranza.

I take care of the aeromodelling column
in an online editorial office.

I've been working here for four years,
three months and two hours.

For four years, three months, one hour
and 45 minutes

I'm in love
by my colleague Linda Vita.

I've never succeeded so far
to reveal myself or make me noticed.

[Linda] I'm going to get a cappuccino.

But I swear that sooner or later I will succeed.

[Linda] My name is Linda Vita, I deal
of the "Posta del Cuore" with Bruna.

Ironically, me
that I talk about the loves of others

I can't tell anyone
of being in love with Gianni.

The editor-in-chief.

To avoid office gossip,
we keep our relationship a secret.

They see us, come on!

I found it on a stall.

Puppuruppù!

- My little pan!
- Jacques Prévert, I love it!

[air from the tire]

No, not now!

She's lucky, she has ahead of her
a former Ferrari mechanic.

I can change them all for you
in seven, eight seconds.

Very kind, but one is enough.

A?

Then I only need two seconds at most.

Follow me into the back compartment.

He's saving me. I had an hour free
to deliver the material.

I know, the editorial team
doesn't leave much time.

- Do you work in the editorial office too?
- Certain.

Is it new?

No, I've been working there for four years.

How did I not see it?

How did he…

I try not to be noticed.

Sorry, but the wheel needs to be changed.

Of course, the wheel.

I can't find the jack, maybe.

Maybe…

In fact, very well. It's all there.

Pretend you're at a pit stop.
Off with the stopwatch!

How much longer does the pit stop take?

Wasn't it supposed to last two seconds?

- It's a mix and greep problem.
- [cell phone rings]

Ready.

I know, I'm late.
My tire blew out.

A guy is helping me,
but he doesn't understand anything.

[Linda] We can collect
plane tickets tomorrow?

[scream]

Please make an exception.

Is it necessarily at 2pm? Okay, I'll come now.

What can I do? I'll take a taxi.

No, I'm almost done.

[moan]

I love you, I love you anyway.

I don't know how I made it in time,
Good thing that guy helped me.

- Excuse me.
- Was he cute?

What was it like? It was…

It was…

I don't know what it was like.

- Who is this admirer?
- I do not know.

In my opinion, it's Gianni Corsi.

- Who?
- The editor-in-chief.

I saw how he looks at you!

No!

Look at him, wish it were him!
He's a really nice boy!

I don't like that kind of man,
I don't like guys with beards.

[Piero] I'm Piero Berni
and this is my friend, Marco Patani.

They kicked us out of all the schools
and now we are at the military academy.

[Mark] At Christmas,
we would like to leave alone.

[Piero] We still have to
convince our parents,

but we have already booked
a last minute for Rio de Janeiro!

- We have to confirm by tomorrow.
- My father won't give me permission.

We don't tell him we're going to Rio.

We tell him we're going
in Madrid to visit the Prado.

Piero, it's the same, he'll tell me no!

Meanwhile, shall we try with mine?

[Berni] I'm Paolo Berni,
director of Berni Immobiliare.

In short, a real estate developer.

This year I will take advantage
of my divorced condition,

to have a wonderful holiday.

- There's your son in the living room.
- Where are you?

Piero. How cute!
He wants to wish me good luck on my departure.

- Do you want something, Piero?
- No. Thank you, Olinda.

My son!

My little son! Get hugged.

You've grown up, I don't recognize you!

- With his little gun!
- Dad, I'm Piero.

- Who is he?
- Marco, a friend.

Indeed, it seemed to me.

Sorry, with these uniforms you are the same.

What a magical moment!
At Christmas families reunite.

You and mom are divorced.

We meet separately.

- Have you been to her?
- No.

Did you prefer to come to me first?

No, she's already left.

As? And where did she go?

In Monton, with his grandparents.

In Monton?

From grandparents?

Welcome, Piero.

Dad, are you leaving?

You forgot
Let's spend Christmas together!

You hurt me.

You think I forgot
such an important thing?

And the suitcases?

I have just returned from London
to be with you.

Unpack your bags and tidy up.
Is Piero's room tidy?

Yes, yesterday. Enough, go away!

I'm not leaving anymore.

I have to cancel everything
due to causes of force majeure.

An unexpected family problem.

Sorry, you will pay a penalty.

You are really venal, I have to disagree
for a very serious reason.

Which?

A mourning.

My mother died, for the heart.

He screamed…

and now it's gone.

It went out.

I'm sorry, condolences.

Now I'll see if I can do something.

How nice to have you here!

Honey, how long will you stay?

- Fifteen days.
- Fifteen?

Well, just every holiday.

What would you like to do
in this long period?

Objectively it is very…

How many fucking holidays do they give you?

Now, about that
what I would like to do...

We wanted to ask you if, for a few days,

you would hate to be alone.

Go on, you can ask me anything.

We would like to visit the Prado in Madrid.

A trip with Marco?

Are you telling me now? You could have said it earlier!

When do you want to leave?

- Tomorrow, we have a last minute flight.
- Last minute?

Excuse me.

This pain in the ass
first it arrives, then it leaves.

It's going to be a pain in the ass. Fuck you.

Does your father happen to take drugs?

Cancel the cancellation.
Everything's fine, I can leave.

- His mother had passed away.
- It turned back on, a miracle.

She looked dead, then she burped
or now he is better than before.

Sometimes older people surprise us.

I'm happy,
but now the tickets are cancelled.

Wait, I have one for the day after tomorrow.

Taken! I'll come and collect it tomorrow.

Until we meet again.

Thank you, you were very understanding.

What will you do alone at Christmas?

The usual things: lunch,
relatives, cotechino, bingo.

What a disgusting coffee, Olinda!

In short, the usual breakups!

Do you want me to give up?

For goodness sake!

A father's duty is to think
to the happiness of your son, leave.

It's not safe for us to leave.

Oh well…

But you can't change your mind!
I have problems too!

You have to ask permission
to Marco's father.

He's not as altruistic as her.

He is attached to these traditions.

He's a man of one piece.

I had nothing to do with it.
These are his and his father's problems.

You have your permission
and you can do whatever you want.

I don't leave alone.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

It won't be a beast.

- What does your father do?
- Teaches ethics at Sapienza.

Here you are! He will be a civilized person!

Excuse me!

It's going to be a pain in the ass.
Go fuck yourself!

Cannabis?

Can you hold my ticket?
I have to talk to the professor first.

- For your mother?
- No, for my son.

Is he sick too?

It's a mess.

I'm so unlucky that I will find
a foot in the befana's stocking!

I try to keep him in suspense,
but I can't assure you anything.

Moral ethics are not based
on deontic principles,

but on aretheistic judgments.

That is

To be moral

you don't have to act morally,
but be a moral person.

Happy holidays.

Sorry, professor.

Do you have a minute?

Of course, miss.

Are you leaving me alone at Christmas?

Love, far from me this idea,
but my son has arrived.

So what?

It's embarrassing, you're the same age.

My father is your age too,
but I'm not embarrassed.

It's not the same thing.

We'll spend Christmas loose.

Loose?

Do you remember how the exam went?

Sure, I gave you 30 and praise.

What did I give you?

The usual.

Here, I filmed it
and I'll put it on Youtube!

You're blackmailing me, it's unethical!

Then find a solution.

It takes a miracle!

He's telling me they would go
on holiday in Madrid alone?

It follows that I would remain blind
of my son for the entire period.

Orbato?

Will he slowly lose his sight?

What does he say? Abandoned, left alone!

Alone!

Is she consenting?

Yes, am I hurting?

It's not an easy decision.

How do you stop him?

How do you prevent it
that the fruit falls from the tree?

- How do you do it…
- Do they have a plane tomorrow, yes or no?

There's not much to…

So be it, free yourselves!

He doesn't make himself understood, but he's not that much of an asshole.

In an affectionate sense, believe me.

Thanks, dad.

- Do we confirm the booking?
- Certain.

Let's go outside because the Wi-Fi doesn't work here.

- Spain, Goya, Velasquez.
- Raúl, Casillas, Pujol.

Waiter!

An exhaustive menu, right?

It's the mother. Should I tell him?

No! It must be our secret.

Mom, how are things going with the relatives?

Well. You?

How did you organize yourselves?

Have you decided what you will do for Christmas?

The usual things, lunch
with relatives, grandmother.

- The cotechino.
- Cotechino, card games.

Wait, I'll give it to you.

Tell me, Anna.

Paolo, behave yourself. I entrust it to you.

Be calm. I won't lose sight of him.

[Anna] I'll check on you, Paolo.

Don't stress us with your calls.

I'll talk to you when you get back, bye.

- Thank you.
- [Berni] You're welcome.

Later.

My ex is worse now
when we were married.

- Is he divorced?
- Yes.

- Are you still married?
- Ninth.

- She passed away a few years ago.
- He's a widower, I'm sorry.

He didn't understand. There was a lack of trust.

I told her a lot of bullshit.

Me too! You saw it, didn't you?

I have to say, the kids' holiday
it just happened ad hoc.

It would allow me…

to put your hands back
on almost twenty years of research.

But her?

I made a great program!

Even your ad hoc?

No, in Rio.

It's in Brazil.

Really?

Does your son know?

- What do they care?
- That's a specious question.

- Huh?
- Okay... Waiter!

[Gianni] Unforgettable.

[Gianni] Let's see if there's a new one.

Well.

Linda?

I don't know anything about it, it must be a joke.

A real joke
when should I go to Milan?

Are you jealous?

It's fantastic!
In your opinion, do I do something like this?

Sometimes the people you love
they reserve some surprises.

Let's think for a moment.

We leave for Brazil in two days,

to tell my father
that we are getting married.

According to you, I'm looking for another man
posting a photo...

How did you get to this photo?

- How did I do it?
- How?

- While browsing, a pop up opened.
- A pop up?

A pop up, yes.

Don't change the subject.

Can I leave safely?

Instead of thinking about this nonsense,
hurry up and come to my house.

I will amaze you!

Come on, hurry! Do you want to leave or not?

The professor is coming!

[Patani] Take out your suitcase!

[Marco] One moment, dad!

Did you take everything? It's not like you're coming back
why did you forget something?

Relax.

Calm?

Are you playing or not? Come on, Pierino, come in.

Come on, hurry up, come on.

- Dad!
- Don't say anything to mom.

[cell phone rings]

Speak of the devil and horns emerge.

Lisa, how's it going?

Marco is here. I'll pass it on to you right away.

Mom?

Darling, I wanted to tell you

I'll buy you the gift,
Dad must have forgotten.

No, he gave me a wonderful gift!

We will do the usual things, the cotechino...

Lisa, sorry. We're in a big hurry.

- I have to go and book the capon.
- Leave, go!

At Christmas it sells out early,
you know how attentive I am to traditions.

We finally got rid of it.

No!

By the way,
How's your fjord cruise going?

The fjords were very beautiful.

We are now in St. Petersburg.
Have fun with Marco, bye.

You know, ma'am,

we did well
not to tell our ex-husbands

that we are in Brazil getting our breasts done.

Exes are all the same.

They would tell everyone.
Absit iniuria verbis.

- What?
- Absit iniuria verbis.

Vermis..

- Do you know what happened to me?
- What?

Now I'll show you.

Look here.

You turned out well.

I almost had a fight with my boyfriend.

If I find the moron
who put it, I'll kill him!

Here I am, strike dead!

Was it you?

Exactly.

Why?

You are a beautiful girl,
with your photo instead of mine

I was hoping to find a nice guy. Understood?

And when they found out it wasn't me?

I didn't show up for appointments.

I just needed to chat a bit,
do a little cybersex.

What?

Virtual sex, that's what it's called.

I'm so alone.

What can I do to make it up to you?

- A centrifuge?
- But it could rust!

But what rust? Come, I'm on it.

Let's go.

Let's go.

[Fabio] Linda?

Prévert!

Now let's get that photo off the internet
and let's not talk about it anymore.

All right.

What is that?

There is someone who wants to contact you.
Wait, I'm canceling now.

No, wait. It's funny, let me see.

"Like boys who love each other,
in summer and winter."

- Romantic!
- No, asshole.

They are my favorite poems,
I know who he is.

- Can we see his photo?
- Let's hope so.

- [Brunette] No.
- Here.

- He's untrustworthy, I knew it.
- Do you know who he is?

- He's my boyfriend.
- Why does he do it?

He doesn't trust me.
It's a trap, he wants me to answer him.

Don't answer!

Instead I answer him.

Now I take revenge. How does cybersex work?

Tell me something very erotic.

Open your ears!

[inaudible]

How?

[inaudible]

Well done, Bruna!

[Fabio] He responded!

"Hello, Crazy Lover,
I really want to..."

No!

No!

I have to collect the ticket for Rio.

I'm sorry, I told her
that I couldn't assure her anything.

I did what I could.

He took the last two.

Professor!

[inaudible]

Return to Ardenza!

Professor, are you going to Rio?
He was supposed to stay for the 20-year search.

She gave me the idea.

But you also took the ticket.

- HI.
- HI!

Here. Here is the passport.

Did you delete the exam video?

- The exam?
- The video of the exam…

Sure. As promised.

I leave more calmly.

I tie up the scooter and come back. Are you waiting for me?

Hurry up.

- The exam!
- The video of the exam…

This is 20 years of research?

Nineteen, to be exact.

What does she care?

One of those two tickets was mine.

And then, professor, what do you do?
Are you going to Brazil with a little girl?

I thought she was
a man of one piece.

But in front of a beautiful girl,
she understands that…

What does he do?

A week in Rio we do some banging.

[bump]

- Ouch!
- Hate!

- Well.
- What?

The matter resolved itself.
You can give me the victim's note.

Maybe nothing happened!

Ouch!

What a pain, my love. Help me, little potato.

- Are you a potato?
- Ouch!

I? No!

Sorry, could you get busy
of the situation?

I prefer to remain incognito.

The exam.

Yes, the exam.

How are you?

We take her to the hospital.

- But nothing serious.
- How?

Are we crazy?

They leave anyway!

A tragedy, professor.
The pussy shattered.

They'll plaster it from here to here
for three months, a chastity belt.

Virtually unusable!

It's not a woman, it's a turtle.

But…

If you give me back the ticket,

I'll involve her
on my holiday in Brazil.

Villa overlooking the sea,
a wonderful convertible,

and for the evening, two samba teachers
of San Salvador, Brazil.

Good?

Two whores with two tits like that
and I haven't told her everything yet.

[paramedic] One, two.

Floor.

How is it done?

How is it done?

Don't let any scruples arise.

How do I change the name of the ticket?

What is the unfortunate woman's name?

- Sara Quattrociuffi.
- It's very simple!

You need to change the name on the ticket.
From Sara to Paolo Berni.

Easy, right?

- Wait a minute, we're talking.
- We have problems too.

Mario!

Of course, the passport! Whatever…

- Do you know Busos?
- This name is not new to me.

[inaudible]

[throws and moans]

No!

How's cybersex going with your boyfriend?

I'm driving him crazy,
I write him some shameful things.

Very, very good. How does he react?

He plays along. He doesn't reveal himself, he insists.

He's romantic and writes pathetic things.

For example?

I'll show you.

There's a new one!

"I want you, I would follow you anywhere,
even three meters above the sky."

Now I'm tired.

Let's stop tomorrow
let's go to Brazil together.

[Linda] Would you follow me to Brazil,
tomorrow, Air Italy flight…

[Fabio] …Bravo village,
bungalow with sea view.

Let's stop with the games.
I understood who you are.

See you on the plane.

- I love you, scoundrel.
- Me too!

[shattering glass]

Good morning.

Does it put me close to Linda Vita?
She's my girlfriend.

Almost engaged, she is very much in love.

- It's a good story. If you have time…
- No.

The young lady has already boarded.

I can give you the middle seat nearby.

All right.

- They say: "Better to settle."
- Four A's.

Linda and I met
precisely on the fourth of January.

Four A.

"A", Linda's last letter.

[together] Enough, it's not possible!

[moans]

Sorry, I left my luggage.

[indistinct screams]

[hum]

- Hope.
- That?

Hope.

- Greetings.
- What are you doing here?

What am I doing here? The idiot!

In fact, I'm going down now.

Linda, why don't you say hello to Speranza?

The young lady is not a physiognomist.
I'm the one who changed her...

This is Fabio.

- Yes!
- He looks very good without a beard.

Yes!

- We're going to the Bravo, are you?
- [screaming] Me too!

- Well!
- Don't scream!

What a coincidence.

Now he has discovered our secret,
we'll keep each other company.

We will rely on your discretion.

Well, I'm in the next place.

If you need anything,
push the button! To say…

Off to Brazil!

How beautiful, Brazil!

Cup…

What village are you in?
We are at Bravo.

Everyone in Brazil!

Great.

I'm happy to travel with her,
I see there is a certain feeling.

It doesn't fall, it's useless to read it.

[plays "Mamas Que Nada"]

Thirty-two hours by plane!

To come to Rio,
we also passed through Beijing!

With a stopover in Sydney.

Hopefully the hostel
and the car we are not like the flight.

Let's hope not.

[inaudible]

Now we'll find out right away.

[they speak in Portuguese]

[whistle]

Berni, Patani.

Berni and Patani?

- You?
- [together] Eh!

Can I see the passports?

- Yes.
- Certain.

Berni and Patani.

Everything is fine. Welcome to Rio.

They are in this envelope
car keys and address.

The car is in sector C, at seat 23.

- Goodbye and have a nice holiday.
- Thank you, goodbye.

- Until we meet again.
- Until we meet again.

Berni and Patani!

Happy, right?

Now that he's met that Haitian
he has no more problems.

- Professor!
- Excuse me.

Hey there!

The call of love!

- Doctor Berni!
- We had already said goodbye!

Yes, but I forgot one thing.

Here is my address and email,
I usually never give it to anyone!

Of course, no one cares!

- It's seat 23.
- It's sector C.

It also opens, how lucky!

It's a mistake, let's go and tell him.

But where are you going? Where are we going?

Let's go.

Let's go.

Eh!

- What are you doing?
- I go.

- We didn't steal it.
- But sooner or later we will have to bring her back.

Then! But let's go first
to hook up with this one!

Come on, Marco!

Let's go!

[sound of joy]

[engine roar]

My goodness, what a shock!

Everything is inside.

The car is in the parking lot…

C17.

Now I'll give you the keys.

See?

I see.

[verses]

Thanks. You take them.

How picky.

[in Portuguese] Many thanks.

- What are you doing?
- Let's go, Patani.

More than an extra luxurious welcome
It seems like a scrotal welcome to me.

It's just a little stink of balls!
Italians always complain.

In five minutes we'll be whizzing by
aboard a convertible!

Sorry, it seems wonderful to me
holiday is a big rip-off.

What does he say?

This is the luxury convertible?

He understands nothing about luxury cars.
This is a classic car!

Vintage!

- There isn't another one like it.
- I believe it.

[boos and praise]

Hello, girls!

Let's go have a drink together!

[Mark] Come!

- How beautiful you are!
- Here!

You hook up a lot with this one!

Yes, but we used it
half the money for petrol.

You always think about the negative!

[Piero] Put the address of the hostel
on the navigator, otherwise we'll get lost.

Do something, open the air conditioning!

- Here the cars run on rapeseed oil.
- Rotten!

- Breathe, it's good for your lungs.
- Of course, here we expectorate!

- I? Never!
- Drive!

I can close, but then she sweats and stinks.

Who stinks?

- You have a problem.
- Which?

Her armpits stink.

- Those are two bouquets!
- Holy shit!

[man on loudspeaker]
Dear guests, welcome to Bravo.

Let's start the welcome game,
hide and seek with fins!

Our girls are coming
to collect memberships!

Have fun!

[samba]

Can I?

Good.

Enough with these tits!

Good morning!

- Shall I sign you up for the game?
- Yes.

Yes, with my boyfriend.

In our games couples separate.

- Eh!
- So we get to know each other better.

Right.

- Where do I find a partner?
- [clears throat]

Any one, that's fine too.

Is she also engaged to him?

Me and him engaged?

It's fantastic!

It's absurd!

- Fantastic! It's absurd.
- Anyway, please sign us up.

Sign us up, Linda and Fabio.

No, Fabio and Linda... Oh well, it's the same.

Berni, I don't want to seem fussy,

but the hope that this is
a luxurious villa seems remote to me.

In fact, from the outside it is remote.

Esperança Hotel.

Let's hope, maybe inside...

It's worse inside!

It's a five barn holiday,
smell it!

Don't get angry, I'm already nervous.
They gave us the wrong address.

Except that the scam hypothesis
is increasingly well founded.

He thinks they're booked
this hotel? It's science fiction!

Now I'll show you.

Nice to meet you, Berni.

Excuse me.

[in invented Portuguese]
Do you have a reservation under the name Berni?

- [in Portuguese] We have it.
- How? What does he say?

Professor, I'm sorry
brought her to this place.

Either you take your foot off or you put on your shoe.

Come on, don't despair.

Come. Give me your hand.

Now let's call the agency and…

It's Sunday, the agencies are closed.

Come on, we'll find a solution.

Now let's go downtown

and we find a suite in a hotel
five stars, okay?

You come.

Do you know how to get to the centre?

I am unbeatable on one thing:

toponymy.

- What?
- Yes.

What does this mouse chew?

Go drive, go.

The chewing mouse!

I wanted to say that I'm like a navigator!

[navigator in Portuguese]
Destination reached.

Rua Bartolomeo de Gardena 671.

Destination reached…

It's not a hostel.

Last minute deals are either scams
or some nice surprises!

- I once read in a blog…
- We should stay at the Prado.

If they arrest us, we'll end up in the newspapers.
Our parents will know!

Yes, maybe you're right.

But since we're here
and we have the keys...

- Let's go and call the agency.
- Let's go.

Piero, come on!

Ready? Do I speak to the agency?

[employee]
A moment of patience, please.

Look at this luxury!

There's also the PS3.

- At least one night.
- No!

- What a pain in the ass!
- [clerk] Hello? Say.

Yes, we are Berni and Patani.
There was probably a mistake.

- Look at that view!
- What do I care about…

[employee] I'll put you on hold.

Look at these!

Welcome, we were waiting for you! How is it going?

Hi, Berni. Hello, Patani.

We are your samba teachers.

[together] Ah!

Keep us company!

- [employee] What's the mistake?
- Mistake?

No, no errors, everything is fine!
Until we meet again!

Who is?

Hope, what is it?

Linda wants to know if he's missing a lot.

- For what?
- He had to take them...

Yes, it's true.

I had an idea for hide and seek.

Let's exchange bungalow keys.

So I hide in his

and she hides with Linda in mine.

Linda and I in her bungalow?

- Is that okay with you?
- Good idea, damn it!

- No!
- What is it?

Linda can't digest aubergines,
then he locks himself in the bathroom for hours.

I know, these are bad times.

Here, if you want to make it easier.

Well done, love. You remembered!

Have you seen, my little pan?

Puppuruppù.

- I always think about you.
- I know.

- Where did you get the fins?
- Over there.

- [man from loudspeaker] Hurry…
- Here.

Let's go?

[man on loudspeaker] …a few minutes
and we will close registrations.

Let's hurry.

I have a very ingenious hiding place,
it will be hours before they find us.

It's no use, we blind ourselves.

Really? All right.

- Why?
- What did you understand?

We are the ones who seek.

We were drawn.

I thought they were raging on bulbs!

Let's go!

Navigator. It's official, we're lost.

- It's his fault.
- My?

Of course, it distracted me
for the entire journey.

- What buttocks here, what buttocks there.
- I said butts!

I've never said that about buttocks!

Let's ask the children.

Boys!

Boys.

Copacabana?

- Copacabana?
- Try a tip.

Copacabana?

- Copacabana.
- He's really cheap. Five reais?

See how it's done.

[in invented Portuguese]
Here, buy some lollipops…

Where is Copacabana? We're in a hurry.

A lot of haste, a lot.

It's late.

They don't understand shit.

On the other hand they are poor children,
they have nothing.

But they have guns.

[child in Portuguese] Come on!

These are the famous ninhos da rua,
they are very dangerous!

You could have said it earlier!
What a stench, I refuse to go in there!

I will not be coerced or coapted!

[child in Portuguese] Inside!

- Please.
- After her.

- Gentle.
- [child in Portuguese] Quick.

[in Portuguese] Close the door.

- [Berni] Call the police.
- [Patani] They stole our cell phones.

[Berni] He knows those guns
they stimulated me.

- If he turns around, I would take the opportunity to...
- [Patani] Don't you dare!

[together] One, two…

[screams]

- Berni, do you smell dung?
- No, with this shitty smell!

- He has one thing.
- Take it away from me.

- Here you are.
- Thank you.

- Did you choose the place?
- No, Gianni.

He wanted a week of fun first
to ask my father to marry me.

Are you getting married?

- Yes!
- Well.

- Nice, right?
- Very nice.

For me too this is the real holiday.

Romantic places, the scent of the sea,
walks with the woman I love,

- tender kisses.
- Then why did you come alone?

This is a good question.

- Because I came alone…
- Eh!

It all started when…

[screams]

[Fabio] Holy shit…

Hey there.

- Did you get hurt?
- I am fine thank you.

- [scream]
- You hurt yourself!

No!

- [scream]
- Then why are you complaining?

I'm not the one complaining.
He insists on this.

- [Gianni] Puppuruppù!
- It's Gianni.

- How do you know?
- He calls me that.

[scream]

It's really him.

Safe?

- He's like this in bed!
- But!

[screams]

Puppuruppù!

It's Gianni!

[groans]

Little pan!

I'm really sorry.

[groans]

[Gianni] Little pan, little pan…

Pan!

[screams with pleasure]

- I'll break the window and kill him!
- No need, I have the key.

- Why?
- It's my bungalow.

- So you're an accomplice.
- I didn't recognize him.

I brought bathrobes!

My Lady, you have to knock!

[sigh]

Are you afraid that I'll look at you?

I don't look, I don't look.

There are eight million people in Rio,
should we have come right here?

Without money or passport,

luckily there is this kind lady.

Of course, the buzz is kind.

Buzzozza?

Buzzicona and mussel.

Did he have a seizure?

A crisis?

Maybe I missed it.
I didn't notice.

Strange why
bubbles usually form.

- What does the agency say?
- He's busy.

- Insist!
- Yes.

- For Patani.
- Thank you.

You come with me to the bedroom,
I would like to take your measurements better.

Absolutely not.

What if he doesn't come in?

He won't enter! I have to call.

I'll do it, don't worry.

Go ahead.

Go!

- Good luck!
- Fuck the whale!

Well, here you have a wide choice.

Thank you.

Do you know what I do now?

No.

I'll show you my pussy.

No!

- She's gorgeous, can I pet her?
- Certain.

She's like a daughter to me, I adore her.

At that time? How did it go?

She showed me her pussy.

Did you show it to him? And what did she do?

I had to pet her, she's soft.

Too bad he loses his hair.

How disgusting!

Maybe it's his age, but he won
many competitions when young.

The competitions?

Here they hold competitions for…

Of course, international!

Over there are many rosettes,
it's exceptional!

He combs it four times a day.

It looks like a shutter.

A shutter?

Does it open like this?

[meow]

He crushed the pussy!

The cat?

This is the pussy!

- It's better that way!
- He killed her!

She was more important than a daughter.

- But…
- Oh, God!

What do we do now?

Maybe she just fainted.

So let's try to revive her, right?

Give her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Do the breathing yourself!

No, Patani! She killed her!

All right.

I blow and she compresses?

[sigh]

Let's turn it gently.

Here, exactly.

- Blow!
- Okay, I blow.

Floor! So it breaks the spine.

This time I was delicate.
Hurry or die! Puff!

Yes, I blow in the pussy! One moment.

Wait, I had an idea.

- Here it is.
- What are you doing?

Helium!

He wants me to use my little finger in the meantime...

No! Rigor mortis, anus conscriptus rectus!

- [phone rings]
- [Patani] The telephone!

The agency! They will have some news.

Yes? Ready?

Yes, it's me. I hear it, tell me.

[Berni] Rua Bartolomeo.

Bartholomew…

- Gigardena.
- Everything attached?

- G. Gardena.
- Giuseppe Gardena?

- G. Gardena… 671.
- Gardena.

Thank you so much. Yes, in Rome. Until we meet again!

Here you are.

We have our home address
and we can leave in peace.

Let's leave before the buzz
notice the pussy.

- Where?
- Who?

The pussy.

Hate!

- I don't know, maybe she recovered.
- Heaven willing!

- Hate! Here it is!
- [screams]

[hums]

[screams]

Oh God! My pussy!

- Calm down, we'll get you down now.
- Sure, what's needed. Look.

- But you need something suitable.
- What did you do to her?

- Take her down!
- I'll take it.

Love of my heart!
Hate! My kitty!

[Berni] Here it is.

[fart]

Cursed!

Sorry, I didn't understand
that you had nothing to do with it.

Put yourself in my shoes,
it was painful for me.

Me too!

I had to marry him.

The important thing is that you understand.

- It's terrible.
- Yes.

However you understood, you kicked him out.

- Now you can look for another…
- No!

I don't believe in love anymore.

I will only use men for sex.

- Good! I'll bring you something to drink.
- [cell phone rings]

Yes?

He's my father.

How can I tell him
what went wrong with this too?

Take your time, between now and Saturday
many things can happen.

I arrive.

- Hello, dad.
-Linda! We'll see each other soon.

Certain!

How's it going with your future husband?

Very good!

You've finally found the right man.
I'm happy.

It was a surprise for me too.

It's wonderful, I want to spend my life there.

I've been watching you, you look good together.

- How?
- Turn around.

- Dad?
- Surprise!

HI.

I couldn't resist until Saturday,
I took the helicopter and came.

Hello, dads.

Where did Gianni go?

Your boyfriend, he was here with you.
Is his name Gianni?

Here it is.

My love.

As?

Dad has arrived.

Don't worry, I won't eat you!

I'm happy to meet you.

- When are you leaving?
- I came to get you.

Let's go to Botafogo and I'll bring you back here.

- I should…
- Gianni, convince her.

I am not…

Love, you convinced me.

Let's come, dad.

I'll get the helicopter ready.

Sorry about the kiss.

No, imagine!

But why?

I messed up with my dad.

I have to ask you a favor,
if it doesn't bother you.

You can pretend to be in love with me
for a few hours?

- I?
- Yes.

In love?

Yes, about me.

Well, we can try, but…

What should I do exactly?

What lovers do.

Kisses, kindnesses,

romantic phrases, hand in hand.

Have you ever been in love?

I? Yes, many times.

So, pretend I'm the woman
that you have always loved.

It's simple, right?

It's okay, I promise
that I will do my best.

Thank you!

- But I don't guarantee anything!
- You will be my Gianni and I will be yours...

- [glass]
- Holy shit!

- Have you gone crazy?
- No.

The glasses.

Well! Here we are, all reunited.

Dear, dad.

Can I call her dad?

I am in love with your daughter
for 4 years, 3 months, 2 days, one hour and…

forty-five minutes.

At first he ignored me,
but then the pheromones have…

...unleashed an unstoppable
hormonal bradyseism.

This is how love was born.

A great love.

[Fabio] The first kiss was beautiful.

It was raining, so we found it
refuge under a door…

Less!

So, Linda supported
her soft quivering lips

- on mine.
- Huh?

And we kissed!

[screams]

He said to me: "Love"!
It was a long and passionate kiss.

Afterwards we loved each other all night.

I held his rush body
under mine,

and we found ourselves exhausted at dawn,

drenched in sweat, but full, you pay!

- While I was tickling her…
- Stop!

Let's go,
the helicopter cannot fly in the dark.

Then you will be forced to stay here.

- You dropped the lenses.
- Excuse me. Now we find them.

Why do you say that nonsense?

These are things for lovers.

I was trying to make everything believable.

Credible?

Did you tease me with pheromones?

Hormonal bradyseism?

- Eh…
- Please!

A lover doesn't talk like that.

I do.

I'll give you some advice, much less is enough.

Okay, I'll try now.

I'm in love
since they hired us together.

It's better.

I still remember how his daughter was dressed.

A gray pleated suit,

the slightly flared skirt.

White shirt with ruffles.

It is true!

How do you remember it?

I have a photographic memory.

It's enough for me to see a person once
and I remember every detail!

- It's crazy!
- [father] Guys.

- Who is that?
- My father!

In fact it seemed to me.

The helicopter is broken.

No! Why?

They tampered with the ovoid.

What is it?

The part of the engine that creates
and makes the combustion chamber disappear.

If you give me a moment...

By accessing it this way

a saboteur could remove,
with ease,

this essential component.

Do you have questions, curiosities,
brief historical notes?

No? Well.

I'm sorry, but then you'll be here
for the commemoration of grandmother Linda.

Well.

When it is the sad anniversary of
disappearance of the beloved grandmother?

Adored? It was a hyena.

[Latin American music]

Samba!

Let's go to the bathroom,
order Capirinha for everyone.

We'll be right back.

Capirinha!

- Four more!
- Eh.

- How much money is left?
- Few, we have to be careful.

A bottle of vodka at that table,
put it on Ventrilha's account.

Very good.

Very good!

Four Capirinhas!

We're at that table over there.

- Put on Ventrilha's account.
- Yes.

Are you crazy? Who is Ventrilha?

Don't worry, everything is under control.

Understand, Marco? Everything is under control.

Padilha and Foreskin should be here.

Who are Padilha and Foreskin?

The samba teachers.

The samba teachers?

So what are we waiting for?

Let's climb over!

What are you doing, reluctant?

What is your opinion of me?

The crasis, reluctant!

I don't refuse, I'm polite!

Then what reluctance? I didn't eat!

Floor.

Watch out for the…

[screams in pain]

Oh God!

Please take away my thorns!

Take away my thorns, quickly!

[verses]

How disgusting!

- Faster!
- Do I use two hands?

Yes!

Yes, yes.

[Berni] Yes! Yes!

Hello, police?

Run to Rua Bartolomeo de Gardena, 671!

There are two maniacs!

Here you are.

This is your room!

Here I am!

- She's beautiful.
- Good night.

Start building the construction site
a beautiful grandson!

- Now let's see.
- We'll do everything we can.

Sorry, I'm really embarrassed.

It was supposed to last a few hours, but…

Can you be patient until tomorrow?

All night until tomorrow?
It's easy to say patience!

There is also a commemoration!

I came here to rest

and instead I get stuck
in a squalid play,

while you criticize me,
despite good will!

[inaudible]

Vellica is no good, rush is no good!

I'm trying to work hard!

However, I always maintain
my promises.

Come on, come to bed
and let's not talk about it anymore.

Instead we talk about it,
because I don't sleep with you.

I do it for you. What if your father comes back?

My father isn't coming back.

So where do I sleep?

In the bathroom.

[hum]

Four more Capirinhas!
On Ventrilha's behalf!

That one right there is huge!
If you watch it all, you'll get tired!

It's not him, is it?

- HI.
- HI.

I am Ventrilha.

- You are Berni and you are Patani.
- No, I'm Berni and he's Patani.

- So young and already so rich.
- Well, rich...

- Very rich!
- Yes!

Do you have money to pay the girls?

You mean those girls?

Padilha and Foreskin.

That's ten thousand dollars.

Problems?

- Ten thousand each?
- No, both.

Then it's fine!

But we don't have them here.

We calmly go home and…

Well, let's go then.

- Is she coming too?
- Are you sorry?

Go figure.

[moans]

You're welcome, Mr. Ventrilha.

After you.

No, I'll take care of it.

Here you are. Thanks and see you again!

- Run away!
- Was everything under control?

[speaks in Portuguese]

Thanks.

Our first official release!

I exaggerated with the measurement,
maybe a third was enough.

Boobs are like lies,
the bigger they are, the better they work.

You convinced me.
Tomorrow we'll do the costume test.

Wow!

[recites a voodoo ritual]

We are not maniacs!

It was just taking away from me
very painful thorns!

You have no documents.
We'll take you to the station.

We are victims of a misunderstanding.

[recites voodoo formulas]

So it's true, you're a maniac!

Professor, it's a beast!
Check it out! But what does he do?

But what does he do?

[recites voodoo formulas]

What does he do? What does it make me do?

What are you doing to me anyway?

They are two maniacs!

Hello, Vice President?
There are four sex maniacs.

He sure loves you,
a father understands these things.

- He respects you, he's polite, he treats you well.
- Right.

However, it has a flaw.

Which?

He's a bit of a dick, isn't he?

Yes, it's true!

The important thing is that you are happy.

- Right?
- Yes.

Right.

However, for important questions,

If you need a real man, I'm here.

Yes.

I tell the lawyer to sell everything

and the three of us leave together for Italy!

What do you think?

Nice idea!

How did I fall in love with you?
You are a great…

Look at you. You are a great…

You are a big fool!

- Foolish?
- I like it, it sounds…

No. No, you have to say bitch!

I can't do it.

Come on, try again!

Up until it was big it was fine.

- I can't do it.
- You have to!

My father will come to Italy.
We can't pretend all our lives.

Come on, try!

Come on! Come on!

- Yes, come on!
- Come on!

- [in set voice] Like I did.
- Come on!

- No, I exaggerated.
- Yes.

How did I fall in love with you?

How did I not realize that you are…

You are…

A bit of a bitch.

- I succeeded.
- No, you can't say a little!

I tried all afternoon,
I can't.

Let's find someone else,
we need a solution.

What is it?

You're so cute.

You are the only man in my life
who doesn't treat me badly.

Not even pretend.

You can do it.

You just have to train a little.

Huh?

It was better to call the police!

And what did we tell him?

That we stole a vacation
gorgeous to strangers?

Trust me, it's better to stay here
without being seen around.

[car approaching]

Ventrilha's car! Now?

At the Academy we learned
the military siege technique.

In theory, in practice it kills us!

- It's huge.
- We can surprise him.

- Certain!
- How negative you are!

- We have arrived.
- Mr. Consul, thank you.

- For the money, the new passports.
- It is my duty to help you.

Once settled,
we will invite you to repay us.

- Of course, it's a pleasure.
- Thank you.

- Until we meet again.
- Thank you. See you soon.

- Long live Italy!
- Patani, come.

[sounds of pain]

- [Marco] They're dead.
- [Piero] No, fainted.

It's dangerous, let's call our fathers.

If they find out we have them
cheated, they'll kill us!

Let's go away.

[moans]

[screams]

[moans]

Berni, we were beaten.

No, they really beat us.

- Defuntibus vostrum.
- Huh?

- Damn them!
- And the father!

[doorbell]

Courses?

Hope.

Yes.

I have to talk to Linda.

I was stupid,
but he will forgive me and we will get back together.

It's better not to, after what happened.

It's none of your business, call Linda.

Impossible.

Then I'll find it myself.
It can't be over.

Remember Grandma Linda?

But I'm afraid so.

Why? Did he say something?

He didn't have time.

Resign yourself, Linda is no longer here.

Has she left?

No.

She's gone.

Is Linda dead?

Is Linda dead?

- How?
- A crocodile at the port.

- Sliced!
- It's terrible!

Where are the leftovers?

As?

- The remains, the body. I want to see her.
- It's late.

However, it was a horrendous sight,
all bitten.

It's better to remember it in its entirety.

You go back to Italy and forget her.

Thanks for the flowers. Go.

No!

Sir, they are waiting for you for the function.

Thank you. I arrive.

What function?

The mass for Linda.

- I would like to join in the mourning.
- It's not possible.

It's a ceremony
reserved for close family members.

- As you can see.
- So what does she have to do with it?

I knew a friend
who gave me the tickets.

- [Fabio] What is it?
- I don't see the coffin!

It's small.

There is almost nothing left.

Nothing?

Just a…

Nothing!

- Who are they?
- Who?

- Those dressed in black.
- Don't point.

They are the parents.

- I'll give him my condolences.
- No!

- Why?
- Now you and I are going out.

- Where are we going?
- Let's leave them alone with their pain.

- Thanks for the flowers!
- [Gianni] Hope!

Hope!

This year too
We commemorate our dear Linda.

Before the function,
Let's remember her in religious silence.

Excuse me.

[priest] The Lord has deprived us
of his presence,

but if the body turns off, it stays on...

- What is that idiot doing?
- Calm down, dad.

Everything OK.

- [father] It's amazing!
- Excuse me!

- It's a small fire, but it's put out.
- Save the painting!

- Baby!
- [scream]

I'll save grandma!
Father, continue with your usual serenity.

[scream]

Stay calm, I'll save grandma! Everyone go!

Who did you bring me home? Come on, come on.

Father, move. Here, he is already safe!

Finished. Go.

- [Fabio] The hyena sucked me in.
- Yes!

[hum]

- [Fabio] It's a sucker!
- [father] Get your face out of there!

[Fabio] Leave me, old woman!

Get out of this house!

This time you're right, dad.

- I'm going to the bathroom.
- All right.

Excuse me? Nice to meet you, Berni.

I wouldn't want to bother you. Do you drink something?

Not Italian.

I do not understand.

Not Italian.

No Italian foul! Local cocks only!

Curious.

[man] We're in a hurry!

I'll bring the two Capirinhas right away.

- Is he Italian?
- Yes.

How do you say left alone?

Pussy souzinha.

- Thank you!
- Please.

Pussy souzinha. Sounds good.

Pussy souzinha.

[in invented Portuguese]
Sorry, am I bothering you?

Pussy souzinha?

- Pig! How dare you?
- What pizza!

I only asked her if she is alone.

- You are Italian.
- Her too.

Excuse me.

How can I make it up to you?

Don't worry.

Shall we take a trip together to Corcovado?

Just the two of us?

Are we bringing the twins too?

- I'll go get the car.
- Agree.

See you later.

Patani, what are you doing?

I have always felt deep emotions
in front of naïve art.

[Berni] I would even say behind!

I like the central one.

But I found a real one.
I towed.

- Brazilian?
- No, Italian.

- They are the most beautiful. Young?
- Mature. They are the sluttiest!

See you tomorrow, professor.

- How is this Paolo?
- He seems nice, he makes me laugh.

But I won't go to bed right away.

Why?

- Maybe you're right.
- Of course, let's forget about ex-husbands.

I redid my breasts,
It's time to start a new life.

See you at the cemetery.
I'm going with Gianni so I can scold him.

- Good. I don't want to see him anymore.
- I know, I understand.

I am sorry.

No, you did great!

You had a fantastic idea!
I underestimated you.

My dad is really angry.
We're doing well.

I didn't do it on purpose.

You are also modest.

I like you more and more.

Ma'am, I'm sorry. Linda!

- Gianni!
- Hate!

- You were dead!
- Dead?

How dare you come here?

How dare you come here?

It's my problem. At that time?

Excuse me.

You hurt me.

- You hurt her!
- Enough!

- You broke my heart.
- Yes, you broke our hearts.

Everything…

- They told me you were dead.
- I? Who told you?

- Him.
- Why did you say I was dead?

- Why?
- Enough!

I didn't want him to see you.

- Because you didn't want…
- Gianni!

You don't get to decide who I see!

- You can't.
- Enough!

We can't…

- As a boyfriend…
- Fabio, it's all fake!

I understand.

I do not. Fiancé?

- It's a complex situation...
- I'll explain it to you.

Leave us alone, I have to talk to him.

Go away.

We were supposed to get married.

- Puppuruppù.
- Puppuruppù damn!

All right.

[Fabio] "Hoping that from these words
you will understand how much I love you."

- I was wrong, but what about you and Fabio?
- I faked it, don't make excuses.

- You go out!
- No, I'm staying here.

Then I'll go out.

I was weak, it won't happen again.
Linda, I really love you.

Fuck you.

- What ways!
- [cell phone rings]

Yes? Morosita!

Linda? No, imagine!
I have always loved you.

Maybe we can see each other tonight.

Yes.

I love you, I want to be with you all my life.

It's Linda.

We're back together.

You know how it is,
with women just one right word is enough.

Sure, I know.

Exact.

Sorry, love. I was talking to Speranza.

[Gianni] Don't you remember him anymore?
Okay, who cares!

[Fabio] Morosita, why do I seem strange to you?

I'll call you later. HI.

"From Fabio to Linda".

I act as a ladder for you, you climb over,
come in and get your passports.

- No, no way, I'm going alone!
- Okay, I'll come with you.

Do you remember where we put them?

No, but we find them.

All right.

Are you ready? One two three!

[cell phone rings]

What are you doing, where are you going? Do you slip out?

- Missed call.
- No, lost fuck!

- He was my son.
- He'll call back... That is, he'll call back.

No!

Can't you see how much stuff you lose?

[cell phone rings]

It's my mother! Right now!

- Ready?
- Did you call me?

Yes, but by mistake. How's it going in the fjords?

Well. What do you do?

I play cards with dad. Ouch!

What is it?

- He's in!
- What?

The Ace of Swords! Seven thirty!

- The Ace of Spades?
- Quickly, or the Ace of Clubs will escape!

- Hello, mom.
- Bye my love.

Sorry, my son is in Rome with mine
ex-husband and I really don't trust him.

He is capable of leaving him alone,
to mind his own business.

We need to check. My ex would say:

Quis custodiat ipsos custodias?

What profession does your husband do?

Professor of ethics.

He is a professor. And he's an asshole.

Very bitchy.

Should he stay in Rome with his son?

Yes, it should.

What if it doesn't fit?

I'm going to a lawyer and ruining it!

- Right!
- [door opening]

- Is there anyone else at home?
- No.

So who's making noise?

It must be the usual thief, I'll go and see!

- Am I coming with you?
- No, it can be dangerous.

[whispering] Fucking ethics!

[moans of pleasure]

Professor, what are you doing? Does he sweep the refrigerator?

No, I'm looking for refreshment
for my pleasure equipment!

It's overheated!

Does he also sweep the oven?

All appliances?

No, I met a real savage!

Too fiery!

Listen, professor.

Yes?

His wife is upstairs.

My wife?

Impossible, it's in St. Petersburg!

- No, it's here in Brazil.
- In Brazil?

- To get her boobs done.
- The tits?

I must say that the operation was a success.

They are firm, with a firm nipple.

Tell me why you know
my wife's swollen nipple!

What do I know…

There is one unfortunate thing, I hope
that doesn't ruin our friendship.

Oh well friendship…

I want to tell him first
let him find out from someone else.

What?

Tonight,

inadvertently,

I humped his wife.
It can happen!

So what? Are you really sure about it?

I'm afraid so!

She told me that her husband teaches ethics,

that he's an asshole and that if he doesn't stay with his son,
he goes to the lawyer and ruins it.

- Yes. Then it's her!
- Yes!

- I'll go up and get rid of the furnace.
- The furnace?

By the way, not to be intrusive,
but can you show me the toaster?

- The toaster? Yes.
- Thank you.

[whispering]
I just want to see her for a moment.

- Is he in the bathroom?
- Yes.

- Is he young?
- No, I followed your advice.

- Is she old?
- No, it's vintage!

- What are you doing?
- I'm leaving.

When he comes out of the bathroom
Can you explain it to him, please?

It leaves me in trouble.
What do I tell her? I'm in my underwear!

Then put this on.

Here you are.

Oh mama!

Talk bullshit
like he did with his wife.

[Lisa] Paolo, do you want help?

- My wife!
- [Lisa] I have a knife!

- Did you catch the thief?
- Yes, here's the criminal!

- [Patani in a raised voice] Yes!
- Call the police!

[Patani in invented Portuguese]
The police!

Thanks, it saved me.

- She would have done the same thing.
- Yes.

[Anna] Mario, is there a thief?

- My wife!
- How?

- [Berni] Leave me!
- Is it him?

- [Berni] I'm a poor Brazilian!
- Yes, it's him.

Go get a rope,
so we tie him up!

- This criminal!
- [Berni] Don't shake me!

I hurt my ribs!

We are safe!

- [Patani] I am sorry!
- I don't have the number.

- Call 89-24-24!
- [Patani] The prefix!

- It's the Yellow Pages.
- They'll give you the police number!

[Patani] Zero six!

- I can't find the rope!
- Get the curtain cord!

Run, come on.

I want to dance the samba!

Enough! Enough!

- I found the passports.
- Me too.

How is this possible?

Because passports
of our parents are here?

Our fathers are here!

- What are you saying?
- Look.

- [policeman] Hello, ma'am?
- I am here!

The patrols are coming…

[unintelligible dialogue]

[policeman] ...lock yourself in and wait.

They will come soon, don't worry.

[together] The police!

Please, Patani, take a seat.

Thank you.

Professor, to pass the time,
please satisfy my curiosity.

How did it happen that she
did my wife get stuck?

Inadvertently!

I didn't know she was the toaster.

- Was mum at her grandparents' house?
- No, with the professor.

- Piero!
- Marco!

[Patani] What are you doing here?

- The agency made a mistake.
- No, here in Brazil!

We can explain!

And you?

We what?

Who? How, us?

No, please.

- We can explain too.
- Yes, yes.

- We have nothing against it.
- No, on the contrary!

- The ethics professor can explain.
- [embarrassed hum]

So…

Repetita iuvant.

It does not matter.

You say you took it by mistake
the plane to Rio.

And you didn't warn us
because the cell phone had no reception,

you didn't have any change,

and they robbed you.

Like two assholes.

The consulate was closed.

Then a mosquito bit you,

you got a fever
and you no longer understood...

- Fuck.
- Yes.

It's curious!

Maybe,

but it's curious too

that you invited the professor
at the bingo in the parish.

And that you won at bingo
a stay in Brazil, in the parish.

Yes!

And what do you have at Christmas
found, in the Easter egg,

two tickets to Rio de Janeiro.

It's a bit…

Let's believe him!
Everyone here told the truth.

It's obvious!

- Excuse me.
- I don't buy anything.

Now let's enjoy the holiday together!

- Together?
- [speaks in Portuguese]

You're a pain in the ass!
I told you I don't buy anything!

I was saying…

Police! Documents.

These are ours.

[together] We can't find them.

These are…

"Together"!

- [policeman] Let's go.
- Where?

Go home
and find our documents.

There's also some money, take it.

- Don't worry.
- We'll take care of it.

Do we leave them like this?

Just until we run out of money.

Piero immediately headed home.
He's a good boy.

And Marco is the same as his father.

- How do we do it?
- Don't start with guilt.

- No, how do we find the money.
- Don't worry, we'll find them.

- You again?
- Wait.

You know I'm not good with words.

I'll go away, but I want to first
that you know how I feel about you.

You think you can change my mind
with a letter?

- I read a lot for work!
- Please.

[hums]

Good evening, sir. Everything OK?

No, all bad!

Sir, you are drunk.

Who, me?

No, I don't understand.

Get off and stand on one leg.

Certain! Call your colleague too,
because you seem prejudiced to me.

On one leg.

It's a very beautiful letter!

I was stupid.

No my love.

You have to love all your life
who writes you a letter like that.

[Fabio] Maybe it was due to deformation
professional, but with Linda

a letter worked
more than words.

He realized that I had written it.

And finally she noticed me

after four years, three months, ten days,
one hour, 45 minutes and 35 seconds flat.

Thanks for the roses you leave me.

It doesn't cost me anything anyway.

[Piero] After that sea of hotties…

[Marco] ...an ocean of handjobs awaited us.

Fuck!

Padillha and Foreskin!

"The new ones land today in Milan
showgirls from Striscia la Notizia".

In Milan?

Run!

- Run, Marco!
- Yes!

[Berni] Patani and I had
strengthened our friendship

and we planned summer holidays together.

By now Brazil was just a memory,

but Brazil
he hadn't forgotten about us.

This time we would like to find
a place to rest.

- Not a rude thing.
- For example, Shall Shakbords.

All right, look.

Thank you.

Damn!

- Patani, what are you doing?
- [frightening sounds]

What's happening?

[they speak in Portuguese]

[child speaks in Portuguese]

[screams]

[screams]

[director] Stop, take them down!

Look what you have to do at your age,
Maximum!

Don't make me laugh or I'll fall, Christian!