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1
00:00:28,486 --> 00:00:33,324
I don't know where I'm going
but I'm on my way.
2
00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:37,495
As I go through life.
3
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:44,794
Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me.
4
00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,424
Somewhere I will find me a new life.
5
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:55,136
I don't know where I'm going
6
00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:57,265
but that's still OK.
7
00:00:58,266 --> 00:01:01,435
My dream is out there.
8
00:01:03,896 --> 00:01:08,109
Never gonna stop
till that dream is mine.
9
00:01:10,152 --> 00:01:14,365
Gonna see what life's
all about then.
10
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:19,953
Gotta get away to go in search
for something that
11
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:22,038
makes all the good times.
12
00:01:22,039 --> 00:01:26,209
Let the good times come
and turn my life around
13
00:01:26,210 --> 00:01:30,380
I just gotta go and find a future
14
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,882
and leave the past behind me.
15
00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:38,139
Somewhere fame and fortune's
waiting to be found.
16
00:01:41,183 --> 00:01:45,396
And I'm on my way-y-y.
17
00:01:49,525 --> 00:01:53,738
Yes, I'm on my way-y-y.
18
00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:06,459
Somewhere I will find me
a new life-e-e.
19
00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:20,597
Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me.
20
00:02:20,598 --> 00:02:24,768
Gotta get away to go in search
for something
21
00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,811
that makes all the good times.
22
00:02:26,812 --> 00:02:30,982
Let the good times come
and turn my life around
23
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:35,779
I just gotta go and find the future
24
00:02:35,780 --> 00:02:37,864
and leave the past behind me.
25
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:43,078
Somewhere fame and fortune's
waiting to be found.
26
00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:45,206
Oh, yeah.
27
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:50,419
And I'm on my way-y-y.
28
00:02:57,468 --> 00:03:01,388
I fell in love with Jacqueline
Susann the first time I saw her.
29
00:03:01,389 --> 00:03:04,517
She was starring on Broadway.
30
00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:11,815
Allo? No, madame eez not 'ere.
31
00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:15,611
Oh, wait. I'ear her coming. Madame?
32
00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:21,992
OK, maybe not "starring".
33
00:03:23,035 --> 00:03:26,996
Then came radio. Jungle Heat
with Florence Maybelle.
34
00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:29,249
Ellen, I think we're really lost.
35
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,585
The native guides and
Uboo have disappeared.
36
00:03:32,586 --> 00:03:34,671
Hey? What?
37
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:39,175
We're lost in the jungle.
The heat is unbearable!
38
00:03:39,176 --> 00:03:42,345
And acclaimed
personal appearances.
39
00:03:42,346 --> 00:03:46,516
We swirl, coat and snack.
It's the Swiss sensation.
40
00:03:46,517 --> 00:03:49,186
Oh, shit!
41
00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:55,734
She had it all.
42
00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:59,279
She just needed one little thing
to make it work.
43
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,322
One final touch.
44
00:04:01,323 --> 00:04:05,952
The one thing every person needs
to make life complete.
45
00:04:05,953 --> 00:04:08,663
Miss Susann?
46
00:04:08,664 --> 00:04:11,916
A press agent. Me.
Miss Susann?
47
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:14,836
What?
48
00:04:14,837 --> 00:04:18,506
- Irving Mansfield.
- And?
49
00:04:18,507 --> 00:04:21,301
We met through Maury Manning.
50
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:24,430
That son of a bitch! That worm!
51
00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,184
- We gotta talk.
- Really?
52
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,772
About the divorce?
Did you call a lawyer?
53
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,358
It's not gonna happen. No can do.
54
00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:40,320
What do you mean, no can do?
You promised! You swore!
55
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:44,824
Look, I'm sorry, cookie.
But, we're over. I got a show.
56
00:04:44,825 --> 00:04:50,455
How can you do this to me? What did I
do wrong? I laugh at everything you say.
57
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,540
Oh, no, listen.
58
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:57,588
Aw, hey, bright eyes, who's gonna
stay my number one fan, though, huh?
59
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,889
Maury! Maury!
60
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,016
Maury.
61
00:05:10,017 --> 00:05:12,602
Oh, Maury.
62
00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:17,649
- Well, I WAS his publicist.
- Call the papers. Tell everybody.
63
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,819
He's a lowlife.
He left me for his wife.
64
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:24,448
We should talk.
65
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:29,077
Not here.
Some place nice, some place snazzy.
66
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:32,247
Don't be stupid.
I don't even know you.
67
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,959
- My treat.
- Let's go.
68
00:05:42,174 --> 00:05:46,970
Wow, Lindy's. I'm really impressed.
Do you come here all the time?
69
00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:51,641
Are you kidding? Only every day.
All the big stars eat here.
70
00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:55,395
Look at them all.
Look at all the pictures. Jack Benny.
71
00:05:55,396 --> 00:06:00,066
- There's Henny Youngman. Milton Berle!
- Berle's the best. He's the greatest.
72
00:06:00,067 --> 00:06:02,736
When he puts on
a dress and a wig?
73
00:06:02,778 --> 00:06:06,114
And the lipstick and the lashes.
I love it.
74
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,033
- This bread's fabulous.
- Don't fill up on it.
75
00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:12,788
Save your appetite.
What about Burns and Allen?
76
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,498
- Aren't they a scream?
- Hysterical.
77
00:06:15,499 --> 00:06:19,043
Irving, you're smart. You have taste.
78
00:06:19,044 --> 00:06:23,464
Thank you.
So, Jackie, let's talk about you.
79
00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:25,717
It's about time.
80
00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:30,096
- I've gotta tell you, I've seen all your work.
- Really? - Oh, sure.
81
00:06:30,097 --> 00:06:33,349
- Death Takes a Powder.
- I was the whole plot.
82
00:06:33,350 --> 00:06:36,352
I was crazy about you
on that radio thing.
83
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:39,981
What a performance.
When that gorilla attacked you...
84
00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:42,901
- Yeah, I played both parts.
- That's versatility.
85
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:47,071
I was so angry when you were killed
by that tribe of cannibals.
86
00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:51,868
- Wasn't it terrifying? They started at my ankles.
- Where have you been?
87
00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:53,953
What have you been up to?
88
00:06:53,954 --> 00:06:56,081
You first.
89
00:06:57,124 --> 00:07:01,920
I have a group of select clients,
primarily blue chip performers.
90
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:06,090
- Do you know Perry Como?
- Only every song! Every album!
91
00:07:06,091 --> 00:07:09,595
- I handle his brother...
- Oh. -.. In-law, ex.
92
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:13,514
- A juggler. You know Danny Kaye?
- Danny Kaye?!
93
00:07:13,515 --> 00:07:17,685
- Isn't he great? And you?
- Me?
94
00:07:17,686 --> 00:07:22,899
Oh. Well, I'm... looking at several
major offers in different areas,
95
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:28,112
and... people have approached me.
I'm in negotiations. You understand.
96
00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,199
Of course. You're in demand.
97
00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:34,369
- I wouldn't wanna rush into anything.
- Savvy. Very wise.
98
00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:37,539
Except maybe this.
99
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:42,919
- Jackie?
- How deep is this? How long will it take?
100
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:47,090
- If I start choking and screaming, don't listen!
- Miss Susann!
101
00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:50,927
- Just let me die! Just let me drown!
- Get out of there.
102
00:07:50,928 --> 00:07:53,638
You could catch something.
Germs, bacteria!
103
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:58,226
Tell the papers it was an accident!
Tell them I was about to make it big!
104
00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,521
Here's your headline,
"A Star Sinks!"
105
00:08:01,522 --> 00:08:04,065
- That's good.
- They won't print it!
106
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:09,278
There won't be a picture! Even if
I die! Because I'm nothing! I'm nobody!
107
00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:12,241
That's not true. If you
drown in the duck pond,
108
00:08:12,282 --> 00:08:15,159
you'd get a big picture.
People would love it.
109
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:19,747
I haven't worked for over a year!
I haven't eaten in a week!
110
00:08:19,748 --> 00:08:22,959
I can't get an agent!
I can't get an audition!
111
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:27,463
- Hang on!
- They won't even let me demonstrate margarine in a supermarket!
112
00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:32,719
- They say I'm too intense!
- 'Cause they're all morons.
113
00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,931
You're not! You're gorgeous!
You're perfect for margarine.
114
00:08:36,932 --> 00:08:40,977
But I'm not blonde! I'm not some
tiny little thing with blue eyes!
115
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:43,731
I'm not what they want
or what anybody wants!
116
00:08:43,772 --> 00:08:49,861
- That's not true!
- My whole life has been the same story, over and over. I'm coming!
117
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,447
Maury didn't want me.
118
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,658
I want you!
119
00:08:57,327 --> 00:09:00,414
You do?
120
00:09:02,249 --> 00:09:06,419
- You want me?
- When Maury dumped you, it tore me apart...
121
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:11,215
but I was glad, secretly.
That's why I left him. I quit!
122
00:09:11,216 --> 00:09:13,593
You quit over me?
123
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:17,013
And because he fired me.
But that was his reason.
124
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:21,184
To me, it was all about you,
completely, from top to bottom.
125
00:09:21,185 --> 00:09:25,271
Jackie, I want you.
126
00:09:25,272 --> 00:09:27,357
Oh, Irving.
127
00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,986
- As a woman...
- Oh, my God.
128
00:09:31,987 --> 00:09:34,448
And a client.
129
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,534
Irving, don't say that
if you don't mean it.
130
00:09:38,535 --> 00:09:43,081
But, I do. I do with all my heart.
I'll... give you my card...
131
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:45,166
a dry one.
132
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:50,379
All I want
is just what everybody wants.
133
00:09:50,380 --> 00:09:54,550
One little thing.
One tiny little dream.
134
00:09:54,551 --> 00:09:57,678
- What's that?
- To be famous.
135
00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:01,849
World famous. To make some noise.
136
00:10:01,850 --> 00:10:07,438
To let everybody know I was here. To
live forever. Is that so much to ask?
137
00:10:07,439 --> 00:10:10,317
Not at all. It's America.
I'll help you.
138
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:13,027
I guarantee. I swear it.
139
00:10:13,028 --> 00:10:16,115
I will use all my connections.
I will beg,
140
00:10:16,156 --> 00:10:18,699
I will bribe, I will make calls.
141
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:22,286
Calls?! When? Who to?
Who do you know?
142
00:10:22,287 --> 00:10:26,874
The Tribune, Winchell, the Post.
I can get you in tomorrow's papers.
143
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:31,129
Jackie Susann has dinner at Lindy's.
Thought the bread was boffo.
144
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,214
You... you can do that?
145
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:35,342
I want...
146
00:10:36,343 --> 00:10:39,346
I want to make you so famous.
147
00:10:41,431 --> 00:10:44,059
Irving.
148
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:49,273
Here's your host, Brad Bradburn!
149
00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:57,321
Thank you! Thank you!
150
00:10:57,322 --> 00:11:02,368
Welcome to the game Tri-State
can't stop playing, What's My Job?
151
00:11:02,369 --> 00:11:04,955
Brought to you by Ever-grip.
152
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:08,040
The denture adhesive
that just won't let go.
153
00:11:08,041 --> 00:11:10,751
Thanks, Tammy. Let's meet our panel.
154
00:11:10,752 --> 00:11:16,175
First, we have everybody's favourite City
University civics whiz Professor Brainiac.
155
00:11:19,052 --> 00:11:24,266
Beside him is the lovely star of
It Came From Beneath the World,
156
00:11:24,308 --> 00:11:26,017
Miss Bambi Madison!
157
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:30,229
Hi, everybody!
158
00:11:30,230 --> 00:11:36,194
Finally, welcome noted Broadway
actress, radio and showbiz personality,
159
00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,279
Miss Jacqueline Susan!
160
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,948
It's SUSE-ann.
161
00:11:40,949 --> 00:11:45,411
Suzanne Susann, yes. Now,
let's bring out our first guest.
162
00:11:45,412 --> 00:11:48,290
Enter and sign in, please.
163
00:11:54,379 --> 00:11:58,549
All right, Leslie, why don't you
take a seat over here?
164
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:02,386
Panel, the clock is ticking.
Audience?
165
00:12:02,387 --> 00:12:04,513
What's my job?
166
00:12:04,514 --> 00:12:08,184
- Professor?
- Do you provide a valuable service?
167
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:11,562
- Yes, I do.
- Bambi?
168
00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:16,567
I'm appearing in it Came From
Beneath the World, where I play
169
00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:20,821
a beautiful archaeologist.
Are you a beautiful archaeologist?
170
00:12:20,822 --> 00:12:22,907
No.
171
00:12:22,908 --> 00:12:24,992
Suzanne?
172
00:12:24,993 --> 00:12:29,330
In your job, do you wear a uniform?
173
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:32,124
- Yes, I do.
- Good question.
174
00:12:32,125 --> 00:12:38,214
- In it Came From Beneath the World, so do I! Are you an actress?
- No.
175
00:12:38,215 --> 00:12:42,009
- She's not an actress!
- Are you?
176
00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:44,595
- Excuse me?
- Isn't she great?
177
00:12:44,596 --> 00:12:48,683
- Do you work for the government?
- No.
178
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:53,896
In my next movie, Creature From
Beyond, I play a beautiful teacher.
179
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:56,065
What do you teach?
180
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:58,651
Students.
181
00:12:58,652 --> 00:13:01,821
- Are you a teacher?
- No.
182
00:13:01,822 --> 00:13:04,407
Are you a brunette?
183
00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:08,912
You know, I'm a big movie star
and I've never even heard of you.
184
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,830
Have you ever heard of her?
185
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:15,001
- Time's running out.
- Do you do repair work? - No.
186
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:20,756
- Are you an astronaut? - No.
- Are you an idiot? - Brad!
187
00:13:20,757 --> 00:13:23,884
Time's up. I'm sorry. Leslie.
188
00:13:23,885 --> 00:13:26,429
I'm an optometrist.
189
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:30,975
Oh, me too.
I always look on the bright side.
190
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,769
How could you find the bright side?
191
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:38,482
And now a word from Ever-grip.
The denture adhesive that won't let go.
192
00:13:38,483 --> 00:13:43,154
Congratulations, Leslie.
You go home with $25!
193
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:46,575
I hope you enjoyed playing
What's My Job!
194
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:01,797
They canned me?
195
00:14:01,798 --> 00:14:04,925
How could they can me
after only one show?
196
00:14:04,926 --> 00:14:10,139
They didn't can you. They requested you
not to come back, ever. They loved you.
197
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:14,269
- If they loved me, why can't I come back?
- They loved you too much.
198
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:18,981
- You're too special.
- Should I be less special? Oh, God!
199
00:14:18,982 --> 00:14:23,152
- What do they want?
- They want you. They just don't know it yet.
200
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:28,157
When will they know? When are they
gonna get with it? I'm almost 30.
201
00:14:28,158 --> 00:14:31,577
- Right! - Fuck you!
- But you look great.
202
00:14:31,578 --> 00:14:35,748
Like a teenager.
A sophisticated teenager.
203
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,919
Oh, but Irving, I got fired. Again.
204
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,215
And now I'm going home
to my studio apartment,
205
00:14:43,256 --> 00:14:45,549
to brown walls and a Murphy bed.
206
00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:48,761
So leave. Don't go in there.
207
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,847
Where should I go?
208
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:53,850
To my place.
209
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,978
No. To our place.
210
00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,315
Wait.
211
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:08,030
Cashmere and wool, 60/40, imported.
What are you doing?
212
00:15:08,031 --> 00:15:10,616
I don't believe this.
213
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:13,120
Marry me.
214
00:15:16,748 --> 00:15:19,333
Marriage?
215
00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:23,421
Oh, Irving,
that's a... that's a big decision.
216
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,633
- The biggest. The clincher.
- Well, before I...
217
00:15:27,634 --> 00:15:32,389
Before I say yes, before I sign on,
there's somebody I want to talk to.
218
00:15:33,390 --> 00:15:35,641
Who?
219
00:15:35,642 --> 00:15:39,270
See, I don't trust psychiatrists.
220
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:45,109
They nap. I had this great psychic.
She did my chart. She got deported.
221
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:48,612
- Now how come she didn't see that coming?
- Right.
222
00:15:48,613 --> 00:15:52,116
So now, whenever I need to talk,
I come here.
223
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,244
To him.
224
00:15:55,245 --> 00:15:57,580
Him?
225
00:15:57,581 --> 00:16:00,166
Him, him.
226
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,919
Oh, Him. Right. Gotcha.
227
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,755
Go ahead, say something.
228
00:16:06,756 --> 00:16:09,341
How are ya?
229
00:16:09,342 --> 00:16:13,512
Kudos on the weather.
The whole week, gorgeous.
230
00:16:13,513 --> 00:16:17,683
It's me, Jackie. Did you see
What's My Job this morning?
231
00:16:17,684 --> 00:16:21,312
Was that the best you could do?
OK, I'm sorry. I know.
232
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:26,108
People are starving and dying.
You have other things on your mind.
233
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,694
But, listen!
234
00:16:28,695 --> 00:16:34,826
This man, this person, this...
this publicist wants to marry me.
235
00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,037
Irv Mansfield.
236
00:16:37,078 --> 00:16:40,873
He's a good man. He's a kind man.
237
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,459
Very well dressed.
238
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:47,630
In fact, I don't even know
if I'm worthy of such a man.
239
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,216
Oh, Jackie.
240
00:16:50,217 --> 00:16:53,344
- Sit tight. What?
- Could I?
241
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:55,930
Be my guest.
242
00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,557
This... this angel,
243
00:16:58,558 --> 00:17:01,143
this Jackie,
244
00:17:01,144 --> 00:17:03,771
this stunning,
245
00:17:03,772 --> 00:17:06,357
multi-gifted woman.
246
00:17:06,358 --> 00:17:08,943
You do wonderful work.
247
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:14,782
Some people don't understand her.
They don't get it. But they will.
248
00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:18,953
I'll make them.
I'll force them. Because...
249
00:17:18,954 --> 00:17:22,123
I love her so much.
250
00:17:23,124 --> 00:17:27,295
And I think I can get her
a TV commercial.
251
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:39,057
- God wants to know what kind of a TV commercial.
- Network, national.
252
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:46,105
God says yes!
253
00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,733
Isn't she great?
254
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:54,613
Then came the happiest day
of my life.
255
00:17:54,614 --> 00:17:59,201
We rushed down to City Hall,
and I kept my word.
256
00:17:59,202 --> 00:18:02,329
- This way, boys!
- Oh! Hello, boys!
257
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:06,333
We had full press coverage.
All seven dailies.
258
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:10,755
Back, please. Do your stuff, honey.
And I got her that commercial.
259
00:18:11,756 --> 00:18:18,012
Why, hello. I'm Jacqueline Susann. And
when I'm not appearing on stage or screen,
260
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:22,349
you'll find me right here surrounded
by everything I love best.
261
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:26,145
Home, family
and Schiffli embroidery.
262
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:30,274
Look at Josephine. Oh, my God!
She looks fabulous.
263
00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,361
- A star is born.
- For special occasions.
264
00:18:34,362 --> 00:18:36,989
And everyday...
265
00:18:36,990 --> 00:18:39,742
Ohhh! Choreography!
266
00:18:39,743 --> 00:18:43,288
With Schiffli.
267
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:49,001
Honey, bravo! You were incredible.
268
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,295
You made me wanna sew.
269
00:18:50,337 --> 00:18:54,173
Announced that the chances
of nuclear war are only 30%.
270
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:55,842
Irving, we have to talk.
271
00:18:55,884 --> 00:19:00,846
And now you're in every home in
America, like Corn Flakes! Like beer!
272
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:03,891
- And it's just the beginning.
- Settle down.
273
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:08,062
- What?
- I got something to tell ya. Big news.
274
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:12,900
- Bigger than Schiffli?
- The biggest.
275
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:15,486
- Ready?
- Ready.
276
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:20,407
Everybody! Your attention, please.
A major headline, a breaking story.
277
00:19:20,408 --> 00:19:26,038
Miss Jacqueline Susann, star of stage,
screen, and Schiffli embroidery,
278
00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,124
has something to tell you.
An exclusive.
279
00:19:29,125 --> 00:19:31,043
Well,
280
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,629
in just about seven months,
281
00:19:33,630 --> 00:19:38,550
Irving and I are having...
a blessed event.
282
00:19:38,551 --> 00:19:42,263
- A brand-new, human life!
- More me!
283
00:19:47,602 --> 00:19:50,980
Oh, ho! Thanks!
284
00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:57,529
And then, our precious son
was born.
285
00:19:59,572 --> 00:20:02,783
He was special... but different.
286
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:07,496
We did the best we could.
But, finally,
287
00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:11,543
we had to make
a terrible decision.
288
00:20:17,924 --> 00:20:23,053
You'll find that it's a fine institution.
The child will receive excellent care.
289
00:20:23,054 --> 00:20:27,182
Guy. His name is Guy. He has a name.
290
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,935
Guy. Yes.
291
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:35,149
- We specialize in long-term care for the retarded.
- He's not retarded!
292
00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:38,277
That's not the right word.
That's not Guy.
293
00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:41,363
- No, of course not.
- As I was going to say,
294
00:20:41,364 --> 00:20:45,200
Pembroke also specializes
in cases of severe autism.
295
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:49,956
Now this is
the only practical solution.
296
00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:59,840
And we could come up there
to see him, whenever we want?
297
00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:02,886
Absolutely. Every week.
298
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:08,391
I'm sorry.
299
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:25,407
All right, what's going on?
Why hasn't she returned my calls?
300
00:21:25,408 --> 00:21:28,952
- Flo, I'm sorry.
- It's been months. Where is she?
301
00:21:28,953 --> 00:21:31,038
- She's not ready.
- She's not ready?
302
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,916
She's not ready for compassion?
For sensitivity?
303
00:21:33,917 --> 00:21:37,294
- She's not ready for the best friend she's ever had?
- Soon.
304
00:21:37,295 --> 00:21:41,465
- Now.
- I am making a personal appearance.
305
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:43,634
- Flo, don't!
- Jacqueline.
306
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:45,803
Go away.
307
00:21:45,804 --> 00:21:51,892
- Get out. - It's me. It's Florence Maybelle. It's Flo.
- I recognise you.
308
00:21:51,893 --> 00:21:56,605
- I heard about Guy.
- What did you hear? Guy's fine.
309
00:21:56,606 --> 00:22:00,275
- He's recuperating out of town. He has asthma.
- Jackie?
310
00:22:00,276 --> 00:22:03,195
I've got the papers.
Variety. Backstage.
311
00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:06,281
- Who cares?
- Jackie!
312
00:22:06,282 --> 00:22:09,409
Flo, can I get you something?
Coffee? Gin?
313
00:22:09,410 --> 00:22:14,164
Later. Listen to me, both of you.
I, too, have a child.
314
00:22:14,165 --> 00:22:17,709
- A child I never see.
- Why not?
315
00:22:17,710 --> 00:22:20,420
I don't want to. Oh, sweetheart,
316
00:22:20,421 --> 00:22:23,799
- you can't spend the rest of your life in bed.
- Why not?
317
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:28,595
- What should I get up for, except my son?
- But you see Guy once a week.
318
00:22:28,596 --> 00:22:31,056
You've got to think
about your career.
319
00:22:31,057 --> 00:22:34,142
Career. What career? It'll
never happen for me.
320
00:22:34,143 --> 00:22:38,939
Sweetheart, things are gonna turn
around. Any day now, any second.
321
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:42,067
It's just the business peaks
and valleys.
322
00:22:42,068 --> 00:22:47,447
A year ago, Sinatra was garbage, over.
Today, he's Vegas. He's headlining.
323
00:22:47,448 --> 00:22:52,995
- It can happen to you. Talent isn't everything.
- When's it gonna happen?
324
00:22:52,996 --> 00:22:57,624
When's the world gonna open its arms
and say "Jackie Susann, we love ya"?
325
00:22:57,625 --> 00:23:00,752
- Jackie, I love you.
- And I love you.
326
00:23:00,753 --> 00:23:05,090
I know, and I appreciate it. I do.
But you're just two people.
327
00:23:05,091 --> 00:23:09,553
That's just a start.
I need more. I do.
328
00:23:09,554 --> 00:23:12,723
I need... mass love.
329
00:23:12,724 --> 00:23:15,268
Mass love?
330
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:29,991
Mass love.
331
00:23:55,224 --> 00:23:58,311
Mass love...
332
00:24:09,864 --> 00:24:11,866
Oh, hi.
333
00:24:16,412 --> 00:24:20,332
- Afternoon, Mr. Mansfield.
- Oh, afternoon, Danny.
334
00:24:20,333 --> 00:24:23,418
Come on, come on, Josie.
335
00:24:23,419 --> 00:24:27,047
Eat a little something. For me.
Keep up your strength.
336
00:24:27,048 --> 00:24:28,674
No. Not till I'm famous.
337
00:24:28,675 --> 00:24:33,845
I'm going on a hunger strike, like
whatshisname? Gandhi. He got famous!
338
00:24:33,846 --> 00:24:37,641
- And thin.
- A book!
339
00:24:37,642 --> 00:24:41,603
- A book!
- Oh, come on, Irving.
340
00:24:41,604 --> 00:24:45,565
- Reading never solved anything.
- She's not gonna read a book.
341
00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:48,735
- What are you talking about?
- You're gonna write one.
342
00:24:48,736 --> 00:24:53,949
Irving, stop. You're crazy.
A book. I can't write a book.
343
00:24:53,950 --> 00:24:57,285
You can. You can do anything.
You wrote a play.
344
00:24:57,286 --> 00:24:59,371
It was a bomb.
345
00:24:59,372 --> 00:25:01,582
You wrote articles
about Josephine.
346
00:25:01,624 --> 00:25:04,584
- People loved them. They went wild.
- She's a dog!
347
00:25:04,585 --> 00:25:06,670
You write beautiful
letters to Guy.
348
00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:10,841
They read them to him like that one
where you described your mink coat.
349
00:25:10,842 --> 00:25:15,596
- I was inspired.
- Writers get famous, world famous.
350
00:25:15,638 --> 00:25:19,850
They get legendary.
You know, he's got a point there.
351
00:25:19,851 --> 00:25:25,439
You think about Hemingway and...
Dickens, and... I'm sure there are others.
352
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:30,110
But Flo, a book. A whole book.
What the hell am I gonna write about?
353
00:25:30,111 --> 00:25:33,739
- I got it. - What?
- You write about me.
354
00:25:33,740 --> 00:25:36,409
No, you write about
this beautiful actress...
355
00:25:36,451 --> 00:25:39,244
and all the handsome
young men who desire her.
356
00:25:39,245 --> 00:25:42,372
Science fiction?
357
00:25:42,373 --> 00:25:46,585
- Do you remember the movie I Remember Mama?
- Irene Dunne.
358
00:25:46,586 --> 00:25:51,590
Right. She played a Swedish woman who
had a daughter who wanted to be a writer.
359
00:25:51,591 --> 00:25:56,178
- Can you believe she got a nomination for that? It was a slow year.
- Flo!
360
00:25:56,179 --> 00:26:00,974
The little girl was in the kitchen
with her wonderful, Swedish mother.
361
00:26:00,975 --> 00:26:04,061
And the mother said,
"Write about what you know."
362
00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:08,231
So she wrote about her Swedish
mother. It was a blockbuster.
363
00:26:08,232 --> 00:26:11,360
But I don't have
a wonderful Swedish mother!
364
00:26:11,986 --> 00:26:15,113
And all I know about
is show business.
365
00:26:15,114 --> 00:26:18,701
All I know about are people
fucking their way into movies,
366
00:26:18,743 --> 00:26:21,369
popping pills and winding
up in the gutter.
367
00:26:21,370 --> 00:26:27,667
All I know about are aging stars,
hopeful whores and cheap studs.
368
00:26:27,668 --> 00:26:33,174
All I know about are tits, ass
and the truth.
369
00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:40,348
And nobody writes books about that.
370
00:26:42,558 --> 00:26:45,103
Why not?
371
00:26:47,355 --> 00:26:49,440
Jackie?
372
00:26:49,649 --> 00:26:51,776
Yeah?
373
00:26:52,318 --> 00:26:56,781
You wouldn't use real names,
would you?
374
00:26:58,616 --> 00:27:02,577
"He held her gently
and stroked her hair."
375
00:27:02,578 --> 00:27:05,748
"Oh, Lyon, it happened."
376
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:13,839
"I was beginning to worry about
myself. Not at all."
377
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:17,551
"It's very rare for a girl
to actually feel anything..."
378
00:27:17,552 --> 00:27:20,138
"or reach a climax,
in the beginning."
379
00:27:25,309 --> 00:27:30,522
"She stroked the beaver coat
one night with Robbie."
380
00:27:30,523 --> 00:27:35,361
"That's what a great body was for,
to get things you wanted."
381
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:40,323
"She wondered what it would be like,
really to care,"
382
00:27:40,324 --> 00:27:43,661
"to love someone like Lyon Burke."
383
00:27:44,662 --> 00:27:47,789
"Then she opened the bottle of pills."
384
00:27:47,790 --> 00:27:50,917
"She took two of them."
385
00:27:50,918 --> 00:27:54,713
"One worked, but two..."
386
00:27:54,714 --> 00:27:58,925
Sally, she's taking to this writing
thing like a duck to water.
387
00:27:58,926 --> 00:28:04,139
- She calls me her literary adviser, her muse. I don't know.
- Irving!
388
00:28:04,140 --> 00:28:07,267
- Yeah?
- Can I write about having orgasms?
389
00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:09,352
Yes.
390
00:28:09,353 --> 00:28:13,523
You've never heard such typing.
She's a regular Shakespeare.
391
00:28:13,524 --> 00:28:16,109
- Irving?
- Yes?
392
00:28:16,110 --> 00:28:19,738
- What about orgasms in swimming pools?
- Even better.
393
00:28:19,739 --> 00:28:24,577
Did you hear? Even Shakespeare didn't
think of that, on his best day.
394
00:28:37,006 --> 00:28:41,801
"The soft numbness began to slither
through her body..."
395
00:28:41,802 --> 00:28:47,015
Sweetheart. Chapter twelve,
Jennifer's wedding night.
396
00:28:47,016 --> 00:28:51,186
She's marrying Tony Polar,
the handsome nightclub singer.
397
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:57,025
He wants her to perform an
unspeakable sexual act? I'm lost.
398
00:28:57,026 --> 00:29:00,196
- Up the butt!
- Gotcha.
399
00:29:05,910 --> 00:29:10,373
"An angry concrete animal
caught unawares in a hot spell."
400
00:29:13,292 --> 00:29:17,504
"September had been a good month.
October brought Lyon Burke."
401
00:29:17,505 --> 00:29:22,175
"He crawled on his knees after her.
She backed away again."
402
00:29:22,176 --> 00:29:25,345
"Tony, all of this is not yours."
403
00:29:25,346 --> 00:29:29,516
"It's mine. He came after her.
She eluded him again."
404
00:29:29,517 --> 00:29:33,853
"She stroked her thighs, her
fingers touching between her legs."
405
00:29:33,854 --> 00:29:37,732
"That's mine, too,
she said softly."
406
00:29:37,733 --> 00:29:42,320
"Who are you protecting?
A whore who contaminated my pool?"
407
00:29:42,321 --> 00:29:46,409
"You mean nothing to him.
He likes boys for his diversion."
408
00:29:49,495 --> 00:29:54,499
"I can't believe it, every time
I touch them, I can't believe it."
409
00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:58,461
"His mouth, it was greedy.
She held his head gently."
410
00:29:58,462 --> 00:30:03,300
"I never want to move,
he mumbled." The end.
411
00:30:03,301 --> 00:30:06,636
And so,
412
00:30:06,637 --> 00:30:10,765
is it good? Is it great?
413
00:30:10,766 --> 00:30:15,187
It's gotta be great. Is it
the greatest thing you've ever read?
414
00:30:17,231 --> 00:30:20,860
Honey, it's incredible.
415
00:30:21,861 --> 00:30:24,446
It's like...
416
00:30:24,447 --> 00:30:28,158
- Madame Bovary.
- Name a real book!
417
00:30:28,159 --> 00:30:30,910
It's like Gone With The Wind.
418
00:30:30,911 --> 00:30:35,540
Like the movie? You mean, it's like
a book that could win an Oscar?
419
00:30:35,541 --> 00:30:39,420
- Only filthier!
- Irving!
420
00:30:51,182 --> 00:30:54,809
Mr. Hunter says to tell
you that your manuscript
421
00:30:54,810 --> 00:30:57,854
is not what we're
looking for right now.
422
00:30:57,855 --> 00:31:02,485
- What?!
- So, sweetheart, tell me, what are they looking for?
423
00:31:03,319 --> 00:31:05,321
Quality.
424
00:31:13,788 --> 00:31:17,165
Please understand,
this isn't any fun for me.
425
00:31:17,166 --> 00:31:22,379
But the fact is, there really isn't a place
for this sort of thing here at Putnam.
426
00:31:22,380 --> 00:31:25,507
Why not? I want a reason.
427
00:31:25,508 --> 00:31:29,010
We publish primarily classic
literary fiction
428
00:31:29,011 --> 00:31:31,846
in the tradition of William
Faulkner and Herman Melville.
429
00:31:31,847 --> 00:31:34,557
They're dead! They've stopped.
430
00:31:34,558 --> 00:31:37,560
You've gotta be kidding.
This is a gold mine.
431
00:31:37,561 --> 00:31:41,481
- There might be some interest at another house.
- Like which one?
432
00:31:41,482 --> 00:31:45,944
- Yours.
- You fucking little snot-nosed Ivy-League putz!
433
00:31:45,945 --> 00:31:49,906
You're talking to a lady.
434
00:31:49,907 --> 00:31:52,952
Sweetheart, are you all right?
435
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:01,085
I'm f-f-fine. I'm just upset.
436
00:32:23,524 --> 00:32:27,694
We are delighted to present
James Brown on this show.
437
00:32:27,695 --> 00:32:32,366
So, let's have a fine welcome
to a very fine talent.
438
00:32:41,834 --> 00:32:44,295
Come here sister...
439
00:32:44,336 --> 00:32:48,757
Irving. Irving. Come in.
You gotta see this guy.
440
00:32:48,924 --> 00:32:50,592
He ain't too hip.
441
00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:54,596
About that new breed babe.
442
00:32:54,597 --> 00:32:57,682
He ain't no drag.
443
00:32:57,683 --> 00:33:00,769
Papa's got a brand new bag.
444
00:33:00,895 --> 00:33:02,854
This guy's great!
445
00:33:02,855 --> 00:33:04,731
Wow! I feel good!
446
00:33:04,732 --> 00:33:07,818
I knew that I would now
447
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:11,322
I feel good...
448
00:33:11,530 --> 00:33:13,949
Irving!
449
00:33:14,158 --> 00:33:15,575
So good!
450
00:33:15,576 --> 00:33:18,621
So good! I got you!
451
00:33:25,377 --> 00:33:28,046
When I hold you in my arms...
452
00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:31,549
This guy's gonna go far.
I'm telling you.
453
00:33:31,550 --> 00:33:33,551
When I hold you in my arms.
454
00:33:33,552 --> 00:33:36,346
My love can't do me no harm...
455
00:33:36,347 --> 00:33:40,100
I need to talk to you.
456
00:33:42,895 --> 00:33:47,982
Is it that guy from Viking? The shithead
with the tweed vest and the bad teeth?
457
00:33:47,983 --> 00:33:52,153
- Like that proves he can read.
- No, no. It wasn't about the book.
458
00:33:52,154 --> 00:33:55,698
It was... well...
459
00:33:55,699 --> 00:33:59,118
Is it about Guy? Oh, my God.
460
00:33:59,119 --> 00:34:02,289
- What's wrong?
- No, he's fine. Tops.
461
00:34:06,418 --> 00:34:09,879
Is it the doctor? My doctor?
462
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,050
About the tests?
463
00:34:17,471 --> 00:34:19,722
What...? What'd he say?
464
00:34:19,723 --> 00:34:24,686
- Baby, do you remember Greta Garbo in Camille?
- Yeah.
465
00:34:24,687 --> 00:34:28,856
- She was so beautiful, even with all the coughing.
- What are you talking about?
466
00:34:28,857 --> 00:34:33,611
Remember Bette Davis in Dark Victory?
That was one of your favorites.
467
00:34:33,612 --> 00:34:36,782
Irving, what did the doctor say?
468
00:34:54,466 --> 00:34:58,094
- Do the warm-up.
- Sit, sweetheart.
469
00:34:58,095 --> 00:35:00,680
Sit for mommy!
470
00:35:00,681 --> 00:35:05,893
You've got a lady waiting. She's got
something to say, a bone to pick.
471
00:35:05,894 --> 00:35:09,690
- Come on.
- I give you Miss Jacqueline Susann.
472
00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:15,738
- Fuck you! Don't interrupt me.
- Jackie!
473
00:35:15,946 --> 00:35:20,074
All I ever wanted was to be somebody.
474
00:35:20,075 --> 00:35:25,330
And I was on my way.
Vaudeville, Schiffli, radio.
475
00:35:25,331 --> 00:35:30,501
Then I have a baby, a gorgeous baby
who screams every time I touch him.
476
00:35:30,502 --> 00:35:33,630
But that's OK. He's my baby.
I love him.
477
00:35:33,631 --> 00:35:38,843
I want to make him proud, proud of
his famous mother. So I write a book.
478
00:35:38,844 --> 00:35:44,682
- A wonderful book.
- A fabulous book, a bestseller, which nobody fucking wants!
479
00:35:44,683 --> 00:35:48,853
But I'm working on it. I'm out there.
I'm gonna show 'em all.
480
00:35:48,854 --> 00:35:51,981
And then, whoops, ding-dong.
481
00:35:51,982 --> 00:35:55,735
"Who's there? Why, it's cancer."
482
00:35:55,736 --> 00:36:01,282
- I get fucking goddamn breast cancer!
- Excuse us, we're in a meeting.
483
00:36:01,283 --> 00:36:04,869
- Sorry.
- Were you bored?
484
00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:09,374
Were you having a bad day? Did you
just say, "Hey, Jackie Susann..."
485
00:36:09,375 --> 00:36:13,503
- "...simply hasn't had enough shit lately?"
- I have to agree.
486
00:36:13,504 --> 00:36:16,589
You owe me!
487
00:36:16,590 --> 00:36:21,135
Big time! So, cut the crap!
No more bullshit.
488
00:36:21,136 --> 00:36:24,889
Here's the deal. I keep going.
489
00:36:24,890 --> 00:36:27,475
But you start helping!
490
00:36:27,476 --> 00:36:30,646
I can't do everything myself!
491
00:36:31,647 --> 00:36:35,817
Come on! Get on the phone!
492
00:36:35,818 --> 00:36:38,070
Now!
493
00:36:41,156 --> 00:36:45,369
Make... me... famous!
494
00:37:17,818 --> 00:37:20,988
Morning, Stacey.
Hi.
495
00:37:25,117 --> 00:37:28,745
- Morning.
- What do you got for me? Anything?
496
00:37:28,746 --> 00:37:31,330
Oh, just these here.
497
00:37:31,331 --> 00:37:33,959
No, no and no.
498
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,130
Morning.
Hey, Lou.
499
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:50,809
Hey, kids. Where's the fire?
I love saying that.
500
00:37:50,851 --> 00:37:52,935
Henry,
501
00:37:52,936 --> 00:37:57,315
I forbid you to acquire this book.
This is trash. This is...
502
00:37:57,316 --> 00:38:00,610
- illiterate garbage.
- Don't be so prissy.
503
00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:03,446
It's unreadable!
504
00:38:03,447 --> 00:38:06,657
Valley of the Dolls
sounds like a children's book.
505
00:38:06,658 --> 00:38:10,328
Henry, dolls are pills.
Uppers, downers.
506
00:38:10,329 --> 00:38:12,413
A very cool children's book.
507
00:38:12,414 --> 00:38:15,875
It's salacious, perverted,
soft-core porn.
508
00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:18,377
Can we put that on the cover?
509
00:38:18,378 --> 00:38:21,840
I think it's exciting and not
just because it upsets Michael,
510
00:38:21,882 --> 00:38:24,383
- although that's a very good sign.
- Excuse me?
511
00:38:24,384 --> 00:38:28,513
Henry, I am telling you,
this book is on to something.
512
00:38:28,514 --> 00:38:32,391
- Something totally new.
- I dig new.
513
00:38:32,392 --> 00:38:37,146
- The author can't write!
- That's new. That's fresh. Nobody's done that.
514
00:38:37,147 --> 00:38:39,273
That's appalling.
515
00:38:39,274 --> 00:38:43,861
- Debbie, can you defend this sewage as literature?
- Of course not.
516
00:38:43,862 --> 00:38:45,696
But I could not put it down.
517
00:38:45,697 --> 00:38:49,575
The woman who wrote this knows
what she's talking about.
518
00:38:49,576 --> 00:38:55,248
It was like... overhearing
a conversation in the ladies' room.
519
00:38:55,249 --> 00:39:02,213
It's like gossip. Chocolate-covered
cherries. It's... it's sexy.
520
00:39:02,214 --> 00:39:04,758
You know it's bad for you
but you can't stop.
521
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:07,969
- It's chocolate covered crap!
- I can come back.
522
00:39:07,970 --> 00:39:12,765
Oh, wait! Mrs. Ramirez. Darling.
523
00:39:12,766 --> 00:39:18,229
Would you read a book about
the disgusting, desperate lives
524
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:22,316
of drug-addicted
sex-crazed movie stars?
525
00:39:22,317 --> 00:39:25,404
- Henry, she's the cleaning lady.
- She knows trash.
526
00:39:25,445 --> 00:39:29,907
You mean, that thing on your desk,
the Valley of the Pigs?
527
00:39:29,908 --> 00:39:32,285
- Dolls.
- I read it last night...
528
00:39:32,286 --> 00:39:36,747
while I was vacuuming. Those women,
in that book, they are animals!
529
00:39:36,748 --> 00:39:39,542
All they do is jump after men...
530
00:39:39,543 --> 00:39:43,296
and take those drugs
and go straight to hell!
531
00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:48,301
If they were my daughters, I would
kill them myself, with my bare hands.
532
00:39:48,302 --> 00:39:51,470
Thank you. So, you hated it.
533
00:39:51,471 --> 00:39:57,561
It is the finest book
I have ever read.
534
00:39:58,604 --> 00:40:01,023
I'm buying it.
535
00:40:02,024 --> 00:40:06,193
Jackie, wait. I've got big news!
536
00:40:06,194 --> 00:40:09,947
- For Christ's sake.
- She's going to surgery. - Just a minute.
537
00:40:09,948 --> 00:40:14,076
- I got something important to say.
- Save it, till I'm out of here.
538
00:40:14,077 --> 00:40:18,664
Till I'm wearing something decent.
I'll get one of those bathing suits.
539
00:40:18,665 --> 00:40:23,210
They have a bikini. You should see
me in a bikini. You'd lose control.
540
00:40:23,211 --> 00:40:27,506
- Honey, you've gotta listen to me. We're in. They bit.
- Who bit what?
541
00:40:27,507 --> 00:40:31,677
- Henry Marcus. The book.
- Oh, God, Irving, stop joking.
542
00:40:31,678 --> 00:40:35,264
They've got an editor.
They want you to meet with him.
543
00:40:35,265 --> 00:40:40,478
- Hold it. An editor?
- As soon as you're feeling better.
544
00:40:40,479 --> 00:40:42,521
Did you tell them?
545
00:40:42,522 --> 00:40:46,525
I told them we'd be out of
the country for awhile. I told them...
546
00:40:46,526 --> 00:40:49,654
you look great in a bikini.
547
00:40:49,655 --> 00:40:51,739
You did?
548
00:40:51,740 --> 00:40:55,535
Jackie, they said yes.
Someone said yes.
549
00:41:09,091 --> 00:41:11,175
- Susann?
- 9A.
550
00:41:11,176 --> 00:41:13,387
Thank you.
551
00:41:22,646 --> 00:41:25,816
Who the hell's that?
Irving, get the door.
552
00:41:26,817 --> 00:41:28,902
Coming!
553
00:41:29,945 --> 00:41:35,992
- Yes?
- I'm Michael Hastings, the editor from Henry Marcus.
554
00:41:35,993 --> 00:41:38,787
- I've an appointment with Miss Susann.
- Mike!
555
00:41:38,829 --> 00:41:42,248
Jackie, it's Mike! Come on in.
Take a load off.
556
00:41:42,249 --> 00:41:45,167
Well, welcome to the family!
557
00:41:45,168 --> 00:41:49,922
- I was ordering breakfast. What can I get you?
- Breakfast? It's 11 A.M.
558
00:41:49,923 --> 00:41:53,676
- Early riser?
- I'm supposed to get editing this manuscript.
559
00:41:53,677 --> 00:41:58,889
Oh, like a rooster. Nature boy.
I'm back. Yeah.
560
00:41:58,890 --> 00:42:03,060
We'll need another breakfast
platter, celery tonic, some lox.
561
00:42:03,061 --> 00:42:06,814
- Oh, you need lox. Protein.
- Lox?!
562
00:42:06,815 --> 00:42:12,028
That's Josie. Josie, be nice. She'll help
us with the editing. She's a smart dog.
563
00:42:12,029 --> 00:42:17,408
- What the hell's wrong with you? It's dawn, for crying out loud.
- Miss Susann.
564
00:42:17,409 --> 00:42:21,246
I'm Michael Hastings, your editor.
We have a lot of work to do.
565
00:42:21,288 --> 00:42:23,748
I have a great many
comprehensive notes.
566
00:42:23,749 --> 00:42:29,336
- "Notes"? What do you mean, "notes"?
- For changes. For your book.
567
00:42:29,337 --> 00:42:31,965
Changes? Like spelling?
568
00:42:34,051 --> 00:42:38,054
Your manuscript at present
is nigh onto incoherent.
569
00:42:38,055 --> 00:42:41,932
- And that's bad?
- Yes.
570
00:42:41,933 --> 00:42:45,186
Well, Mr. Picky.
Buster, you just hold on.
571
00:42:45,187 --> 00:42:50,608
- Where's she going?
- Isn't she great? She's so excited.
572
00:42:50,609 --> 00:42:53,736
She's never been edited before.
573
00:42:53,737 --> 00:42:56,864
- Flo, you're back.
- They fired me.
574
00:42:56,865 --> 00:43:01,035
- They fired you?
- From goddamn Ozzie and Harriet.
575
00:43:01,036 --> 00:43:03,705
Who are you? FBI?
576
00:43:05,165 --> 00:43:07,750
- Flo, Michael. Michael, Flo.
- Flo?!
577
00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:11,378
- Jackie!
- So, you wanted changes?
578
00:43:11,379 --> 00:43:14,131
How's this for editing?
579
00:43:14,132 --> 00:43:17,134
- They fired me.
- They fired ya?
580
00:43:17,135 --> 00:43:21,138
From Ozzie and Harriet. America's
favourite wholesome TV family.
581
00:43:21,139 --> 00:43:22,681
- They're cocksuckers.
- All of 'em.
582
00:43:22,682 --> 00:43:24,725
Ozzie?
583
00:43:24,726 --> 00:43:30,273
- This outfit's wrong. Too subtle.
- Hi.
584
00:43:31,399 --> 00:43:35,569
I was playing Harriet's
beloved Aunt Hilda.
585
00:43:35,570 --> 00:43:41,158
- A sweet simple Midwestern farm woman come to visit.
- Mr. Mansfield?
586
00:43:41,159 --> 00:43:44,370
Can you break a twenty?
587
00:43:44,371 --> 00:43:46,455
God, I would have been marvelous.
588
00:43:46,456 --> 00:43:52,044
I entered and said, "Harriet, darling,
I'm here. I have brought farm fresh eggs."
589
00:43:52,045 --> 00:43:54,588
I'll get it.
590
00:43:54,589 --> 00:43:56,715
- Hey, Irv.
- Sheila!
591
00:43:56,716 --> 00:44:01,929
- What did you want today? French manicure? What about the toes?
- What about the toes?
592
00:44:01,930 --> 00:44:05,766
- Tell her to start with Josie.
- Josie, come on, manicure!
593
00:44:05,767 --> 00:44:09,396
They want it a different way.
I have no ego, you know.
594
00:44:09,437 --> 00:44:11,856
Let's take a look at you.
595
00:44:11,857 --> 00:44:15,526
- We have to begin.
- She's very high strung.
596
00:44:15,527 --> 00:44:18,654
- We have to begin.
- Ozzie, he's staring at me.
597
00:44:18,655 --> 00:44:21,949
He said, "Could you be
a little more wholesome?"
598
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:25,119
"You're a simple farm woman,
bringing fresh eggs."
599
00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:27,914
I said, "What do you want me to do?
Lay them?!"
600
00:44:28,957 --> 00:44:32,084
So, do I look like an author?
601
00:44:32,085 --> 00:44:35,588
Miss Susann, it really doesn't
matter what you wear.
602
00:44:35,589 --> 00:44:37,799
See, he's editing me.
603
00:44:40,385 --> 00:44:45,848
- This is unacceptable.
- I know. Hang in there. Lox is on the way.
604
00:44:45,849 --> 00:44:49,143
And then, these two adorable
teenagers come in.
605
00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:52,229
David and Ricky.
606
00:44:52,230 --> 00:44:55,357
Their little crew cuts
and their dungarees.
607
00:44:55,358 --> 00:44:57,736
David wanted me.
608
00:44:57,777 --> 00:45:00,196
I could tell.
609
00:45:00,197 --> 00:45:02,781
- He was huge!
- What?!
610
00:45:02,782 --> 00:45:06,619
- Match me?
- Coming. Oh, boy.
611
00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:09,747
- Irv, breakfast time!
- Claude, how are ya?
612
00:45:09,748 --> 00:45:14,752
You got cold cuts, bagels, coffee,
lox, celery tonic and bran muffins.
613
00:45:14,753 --> 00:45:20,841
- You gotta have bran. Cleans you out.
- And then Ozzie, he comes back in...
614
00:45:20,842 --> 00:45:27,097
and suddenly they're all lined up, all
staring at me, the entire Nelson family...
615
00:45:27,098 --> 00:45:31,769
in their cardigans, and their rosy
cheeks and gleaming white teeth.
616
00:45:31,770 --> 00:45:34,897
And I just gazed at them.
And I said,
617
00:45:34,898 --> 00:45:39,276
"I am your wholesome Aunt Hilda and
I have brought farm fresh eggs."
618
00:45:39,277 --> 00:45:41,654
"Heil Hitler!"
619
00:45:41,655 --> 00:45:43,822
- They fired you?
- Well?
620
00:45:43,823 --> 00:45:46,617
- Better?
- Wow.
621
00:45:46,618 --> 00:45:50,621
- Bestselling?
- That's the one. That's the one.
622
00:45:50,622 --> 00:45:52,916
Mr. Mansfield?
We have a deadline.
623
00:45:52,958 --> 00:45:56,377
We need to work in an
atmosphere of absolute quiet.
624
00:45:56,378 --> 00:46:00,089
I couldn't agree more.
And I know just the spot.
625
00:46:00,090 --> 00:46:04,885
- If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder.
- Herbie!
626
00:46:04,886 --> 00:46:08,013
You got hungry? Yeah.
Lover boy! Sweetheart.
627
00:46:08,014 --> 00:46:11,141
- Who's this?
- My editor. I take him everywhere.
628
00:46:11,142 --> 00:46:14,270
Two adults. And one gentile.
629
00:46:14,271 --> 00:46:17,440
- Jackie!
- Irving, you son of a gun!
630
00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:24,697
- Jackie! You look gorgeous!
- Sylvia! You look different!
631
00:46:24,698 --> 00:46:27,825
- Hey, vice squad!
- Great sports jacket.
632
00:46:27,826 --> 00:46:31,829
It's a Fabiani, hand stitched,
hand rolled, virgin alpaca.
633
00:46:31,830 --> 00:46:33,831
And it's gonna stay that way.
634
00:46:33,832 --> 00:46:36,959
- I'm starving! I could eat a horse.
- You probably will.
635
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:40,713
- So, what specials?
- It's all special, sweetheart.
636
00:46:40,714 --> 00:46:42,798
Thank you.
637
00:46:42,799 --> 00:46:46,760
- Miss Susann, Mr. Mansfield.
- Jackie. And Irving.
638
00:46:46,761 --> 00:46:51,433
This is not exactly the kind of
working atmosphere I had in mind.
639
00:46:51,641 --> 00:46:54,435
Look at him. Look at you.
640
00:46:54,436 --> 00:46:59,273
- What?
- Just tell me. What do you call that thing you're wearing?
641
00:46:59,274 --> 00:47:03,277
It's a navy blue suit.
It's from Brooks Brothers.
642
00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:07,072
- Brooks Brothers?
- It's an American classic.
643
00:47:07,073 --> 00:47:08,907
It's a shroud. I can't look.
644
00:47:08,908 --> 00:47:12,619
It's hurting my creative juices.
I'm having a blockage.
645
00:47:12,620 --> 00:47:15,706
- Irving, quick. Give him your jacket.
- What?
646
00:47:15,707 --> 00:47:17,125
- What?!
- People are staring.
647
00:47:17,167 --> 00:47:20,919
They're saying, "What are Irving
and Jackie doing with this stiff?"
648
00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:24,631
They think it's a tax audit.
Give him your jacket.
649
00:47:24,632 --> 00:47:26,884
- Jackie.
- Please!
650
00:47:26,885 --> 00:47:29,804
I am absolutely not going to wear
Irving's jacket.
651
00:47:36,353 --> 00:47:38,937
Thank God!
652
00:47:38,938 --> 00:47:41,523
Now I can breathe again. I'm open.
653
00:47:41,524 --> 00:47:44,651
Darling, if you're happy, I'm happy.
654
00:47:44,652 --> 00:47:47,238
Brisket for the beautiful lady.
655
00:47:47,447 --> 00:47:50,075
Veal for the gent.
Thanks, Max.
656
00:47:51,076 --> 00:47:53,660
And one American cheese sandwich.
657
00:47:53,661 --> 00:47:58,207
- Thank you. Do you have any mayonnaise?
- Mayonnaise?
658
00:47:58,208 --> 00:48:00,418
Hellman's.
659
00:48:02,545 --> 00:48:04,672
Don't get anything on it.
660
00:48:04,714 --> 00:48:07,300
No gestures.
661
00:48:10,512 --> 00:48:15,849
Cheese sandwich. Where were
you raised? In a fucking igloo?
662
00:48:15,850 --> 00:48:18,394
Miss Susann? Mr. Mansfield?
663
00:48:18,395 --> 00:48:20,729
- It's Jackie.
- And Irving.
664
00:48:20,730 --> 00:48:26,068
Your manuscript requires
an overwhelming amount of work.
665
00:48:26,069 --> 00:48:30,781
- I agree. Like worldwide advertising.
- We've got lots of ideas, a campaign.
666
00:48:30,782 --> 00:48:33,243
The dust jacket's
gonna be my picture.
667
00:48:33,284 --> 00:48:36,078
I can do this look. Or this.
How about this?
668
00:48:36,079 --> 00:48:38,039
Do the other one.
That's my girl.
669
00:48:38,081 --> 00:48:41,291
What about the first printing?
I say one million, easy.
670
00:48:41,292 --> 00:48:44,503
I love radio. But TV,
that's where they'll eat me up.
671
00:48:44,504 --> 00:48:49,383
We want all the morning shows
and Carson. How about a limo?
672
00:48:49,384 --> 00:48:54,555
We could use our own car.
Do you pay for gas, tolls?
673
00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:58,392
Excuse me! Pardon me!
You are a first-time novelist!
674
00:48:58,393 --> 00:49:01,937
With a book which remains
virtually unreadable!
675
00:49:01,938 --> 00:49:05,774
I have been assigned to edit
this miasma!
676
00:49:05,775 --> 00:49:09,903
When I arrive I'm treated to a
variety night circus with a dog act,
677
00:49:09,904 --> 00:49:13,867
and then this
delicatessen schmooze fest!
678
00:49:15,910 --> 00:49:20,122
If this book is to be published
at all, we need a place to work.
679
00:49:20,123 --> 00:49:22,750
Am I understood?
680
00:49:25,837 --> 00:49:29,215
- "Miasma"?
- Florida?
681
00:49:43,104 --> 00:49:45,689
This is some schlep.
682
00:49:45,690 --> 00:49:48,817
Where are you taking us, Iowa?
683
00:49:48,818 --> 00:49:51,945
- It's Connecticut.
- Connecticut?
684
00:49:51,946 --> 00:49:55,617
- This is Connecticut?
- Nice, if you're a cow.
685
00:50:01,831 --> 00:50:04,958
So, who lives here?
Thomas Jefferson?
686
00:50:04,959 --> 00:50:08,213
- My family.
- They got slaves?
687
00:50:10,089 --> 00:50:14,385
- Who's that?
- That is my mother.
688
00:50:16,387 --> 00:50:18,973
She gave birth?
689
00:50:20,725 --> 00:50:23,310
- Mother.
- Hello, dear.
690
00:50:23,311 --> 00:50:26,104
Thank you so much for
letting us use the house.
691
00:50:26,105 --> 00:50:29,442
- I promise you, you won't even know we're here.
- Of course.
692
00:50:29,651 --> 00:50:33,821
- Mother, this is Irving Mansfield.
- Some spread. You did good.
693
00:50:34,030 --> 00:50:37,783
- Do you rent?
- And this is Jacqueline Susann.
694
00:50:37,784 --> 00:50:41,371
- Pleased to meet you.
- Hello. What's your name, darling?
695
00:50:41,579 --> 00:50:46,709
My given name is Alicia Carlisle
Pewter but everyone calls me Lissy.
696
00:50:46,918 --> 00:50:49,378
No. Come on.
697
00:50:49,379 --> 00:50:52,215
- Come on, really.
- Really.
698
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:58,346
And this is our guest room.
699
00:50:58,555 --> 00:51:01,682
I do hope you'll be comfortable.
700
00:51:01,683 --> 00:51:04,309
Oh, it's... it's nice.
701
00:51:04,310 --> 00:51:06,938
It's very... clean.
702
00:51:07,146 --> 00:51:12,901
I love the proportions. The light.
You could do a lot with this room.
703
00:51:12,902 --> 00:51:15,863
- We have.
- Josie.
704
00:51:24,163 --> 00:51:26,748
Good luck. Keep it dirty.
705
00:51:26,749 --> 00:51:29,876
Bye, sweetheart. Pee for mommy.
706
00:51:29,877 --> 00:51:33,005
- Jackie!
- I was talking to Irving.
707
00:51:33,006 --> 00:51:35,591
It's a joke.
708
00:51:35,592 --> 00:51:38,719
Of course. Well. All right.
709
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:42,598
Finally, we can begin our task.
Let's get going.
710
00:51:42,599 --> 00:51:45,726
Let's start
with the first paragraph.
711
00:51:45,727 --> 00:51:48,478
- First paragraph?
- Second sentence.
712
00:51:48,479 --> 00:51:53,191
This phrase, "New York was steaming.
An angry, concrete animal."
713
00:51:53,192 --> 00:51:56,945
- Don't you love that?
- No, it doesn't make any sense.
714
00:51:56,946 --> 00:51:59,657
- What is an angry concrete animal?
- New York.
715
00:51:59,699 --> 00:52:02,576
- New York's a city.
- Not in the summer.
716
00:52:02,577 --> 00:52:06,747
I remember when I first came to town,
I was just a kid but oh, my God,
717
00:52:06,748 --> 00:52:11,543
it hit me: The noise, buildings, the
crowds. I'll set the scene for ya.
718
00:52:11,544 --> 00:52:17,466
There's a garbage strike. So,
it stinks. There's a subway strike.
719
00:52:17,467 --> 00:52:22,137
You can't get to work. Construction
everywhere. Jackhammers...
720
00:52:22,138 --> 00:52:25,557
- It's Chippendale!
- Are driving people to the brink of madness.
721
00:52:25,558 --> 00:52:30,103
It's so hot, the sidewalks are
buckling, rising up like Godzilla.
722
00:52:30,104 --> 00:52:32,148
So the town is sweaty
and ferocious.
723
00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:35,776
It's like, "Watch out! Let me through!
Out of my way, you moron!"
724
00:52:35,777 --> 00:52:40,656
"Move it! Out of my way, I'm an
angry, concrete animal!" Get it?
725
00:52:40,657 --> 00:52:42,949
But it's an absurd phrase.
726
00:52:42,950 --> 00:52:45,827
- It's poetry.
- It's terrible writing.
727
00:52:45,828 --> 00:52:49,374
- That's what poetry is.
- Jackie. - Next.
728
00:52:52,502 --> 00:52:57,172
All right, this section,
where Neely O'Hara's a big star.
729
00:52:57,173 --> 00:53:01,677
- She comes home to find her husband...
- Ted Casablanca. - Yeah.
730
00:53:01,678 --> 00:53:06,890
And he's in her Beverly Hills pool
with another younger starlet.
731
00:53:06,891 --> 00:53:10,018
- In her pool that she paid for.
- Yeah.
732
00:53:10,019 --> 00:53:15,232
Ted says he had to look elsewhere
for sex 'cause Neely's always so tired.
733
00:53:15,233 --> 00:53:19,403
Because she's working on a picture!
So she's always doped up.
734
00:53:19,404 --> 00:53:22,072
- That's real life.
- Here's my problem.
735
00:53:22,073 --> 00:53:24,909
She says, "You're nuts.
I catch you red-handed
736
00:53:24,951 --> 00:53:28,412
and you stand there with your
dingle blowing in the breeze
737
00:53:28,413 --> 00:53:31,581
with a naked broad
and you sermonize with me."
738
00:53:31,582 --> 00:53:34,877
- Isn't that great? Can you picture it?
- It's so coarse!
739
00:53:35,044 --> 00:53:37,255
"Dingle blowing in the breeze"?
740
00:53:37,505 --> 00:53:41,007
Neely's an ex-chorus girl.
That's how she talks.
741
00:53:41,008 --> 00:53:43,885
- But... dingle?
- Yeah.
742
00:53:43,886 --> 00:53:47,013
- Dingle, dingle, dingle.
- Stop that.
743
00:53:47,014 --> 00:53:49,933
- Haven't you got one?
- No, I do not have a dingle.
744
00:53:49,934 --> 00:53:53,855
What do they call it around here,
a butter churn?
745
00:53:55,898 --> 00:53:58,067
Next.
746
00:53:58,484 --> 00:54:03,196
Let's discuss Jennifer.
She's 17. She's blonde.
747
00:54:03,197 --> 00:54:07,367
- She's stunning.
- You love her? It's all about the tits. - Yes.
748
00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:11,289
After boarding school she runs off
with Maria, the Spanish heiress.
749
00:54:11,330 --> 00:54:13,206
Right, the dyke. Ooh, radishes?
750
00:54:13,207 --> 00:54:16,960
- And they do nothing but have wild lesbian sex.
- They're young.
751
00:54:16,961 --> 00:54:21,506
- You can't say that.
- Why not? - Mimsy.
752
00:54:21,507 --> 00:54:25,635
Mimsy?
Is that a code?
753
00:54:25,636 --> 00:54:30,849
Jackie, this is my grandmother,
Mimsy. And my Great Aunt Abigail.
754
00:54:30,850 --> 00:54:33,101
- Are you the author?
- Yes, hello.
755
00:54:33,102 --> 00:54:37,439
- We're in the middle of editing.
- One sec. Let me ask you something.
756
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:42,694
When you were in high school, did some of
the girls get crushes on the other girls?
757
00:54:42,695 --> 00:54:45,822
Let me see. At Miss Porter's?
758
00:54:45,823 --> 00:54:48,743
Of course they didn't!
You can't put that in a book.
759
00:54:49,786 --> 00:54:52,162
I remember Emily Winthrop.
760
00:54:52,163 --> 00:54:54,748
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, Emily Winthrop.
761
00:54:54,749 --> 00:54:59,336
She was a year behind me.
She was lovely.
762
00:54:59,337 --> 00:55:04,132
Tall, high breasted.
What a collar bone.
763
00:55:04,133 --> 00:55:07,220
- And you liked her.
- Very much.
764
00:55:07,261 --> 00:55:11,808
You can tell me everything.
765
00:55:13,976 --> 00:55:16,561
Oh, no! We're gonna be late!
766
00:55:16,562 --> 00:55:21,775
Bye, kids. And what do we tell
Mom and Dad we want for Christmas?
767
00:55:21,776 --> 00:55:24,361
Valley of the Dolls.
768
00:55:24,362 --> 00:55:27,989
It's better than milk.
769
00:55:27,990 --> 00:55:31,117
I don't understand. Yes.
770
00:55:31,118 --> 00:55:34,246
Tony Polar. Tony Po...
771
00:55:34,247 --> 00:55:36,289
Ton... Adele!
772
00:55:36,290 --> 00:55:38,416
Adele!
773
00:55:38,417 --> 00:55:40,545
Thank you.
774
00:55:42,588 --> 00:55:45,715
So, Tony Polar is
a rich successful singer.
775
00:55:45,716 --> 00:55:49,469
- But you say he has a dark secret.
- The darkest.
776
00:55:49,470 --> 00:55:52,348
He had scarlet fever as a
baby and ever since then
777
00:55:52,390 --> 00:55:55,433
he's had the mental abilities
of a 7 year old.
778
00:55:55,434 --> 00:55:57,936
And no one notices?
779
00:55:57,937 --> 00:56:00,480
That's right.
780
00:56:00,481 --> 00:56:04,192
Are you saying that if a man
is sexy and good in bed,
781
00:56:04,193 --> 00:56:07,280
no woman is going to
care that he's an idiot?
782
00:56:09,282 --> 00:56:11,867
I certainly wouldn't.
783
00:56:11,868 --> 00:56:14,661
Absolutely not.
784
00:56:14,662 --> 00:56:17,330
Grow up.
785
00:56:17,331 --> 00:56:20,166
Michael?
786
00:56:20,167 --> 00:56:22,752
Father?
787
00:56:22,753 --> 00:56:25,881
I've just finished this manuscript.
788
00:56:25,882 --> 00:56:32,846
This immoral, brazen journey into the
unspeakable hell of modern show business.
789
00:56:32,847 --> 00:56:35,181
And?
790
00:56:35,182 --> 00:56:39,060
I am Lyon Burke.
791
00:56:39,061 --> 00:56:41,856
Baby!
792
00:56:54,118 --> 00:56:57,788
Jackie? Irving has the car...
793
00:57:02,543 --> 00:57:05,171
Oh!
794
00:57:16,974 --> 00:57:19,643
- What are you doing?
- Getting the luggage.
795
00:57:19,644 --> 00:57:21,728
Irving's got the car out front.
796
00:57:21,729 --> 00:57:24,357
Irving can get the luggage.
797
00:57:25,358 --> 00:57:28,485
All those pills, Jackie.
I mean, they...
798
00:57:28,486 --> 00:57:32,906
They're for Irving. He has a vitamin
deficiency. He needs niacin and B12.
799
00:57:32,907 --> 00:57:36,326
- They weren't vitamins.
- Oh, for Christ's sake!
800
00:57:36,327 --> 00:57:40,330
Do I go through your room and ask
you a lot of stupid questions?
801
00:57:40,331 --> 00:57:42,457
Who the hell do you
think you are?
802
00:57:42,458 --> 00:57:46,169
- Jackie, I didn't know you were sick.
- I'm not sick.
803
00:57:46,170 --> 00:57:48,798
I'm not sick!
804
00:57:49,799 --> 00:57:53,969
Sick people are losers.
Sick people get nothing!
805
00:57:53,970 --> 00:57:59,891
Do you think that anybody's gonna buy a
sexy book written by someone with cancer?
806
00:57:59,892 --> 00:58:05,063
That's not the point. That's
the only point. Are you my friend?
807
00:58:05,064 --> 00:58:07,565
Your friend?
808
00:58:07,566 --> 00:58:11,945
You're a tight ass and you're a
smart cookie, but are you my friend?
809
00:58:11,946 --> 00:58:14,990
I've never met anyone like you.
810
00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:17,826
That's not an answer!
811
00:58:17,827 --> 00:58:20,495
Let me explain to you.
812
00:58:20,496 --> 00:58:23,206
Friends help each other.
813
00:58:23,207 --> 00:58:28,421
And friends... don't tell.
Get it?
814
00:58:30,464 --> 00:58:32,591
OK.
815
00:58:36,721 --> 00:58:39,305
Is there a secret handshake?
816
00:58:39,306 --> 00:58:42,476
Mikey, you made a joke.
817
00:58:42,518 --> 00:58:45,562
- I did?
- Yeah.
818
00:58:45,563 --> 00:58:49,482
Well, it wasn't a great joke,
but it's a start.
819
00:58:49,483 --> 00:58:52,319
You are my friend.
You are my friend.
820
00:58:54,905 --> 00:58:58,825
- We're coming! We're having sex!
- Good. Take your time.
821
00:58:58,826 --> 00:59:01,454
Jackie...
822
00:59:02,455 --> 00:59:05,041
I'm trusting you with my life here.
823
00:59:05,249 --> 00:59:07,835
I know.
824
00:59:08,836 --> 00:59:11,464
Thank you.
825
00:59:28,606 --> 00:59:32,776
You look great.
Doesn't he look great?
826
00:59:32,777 --> 00:59:37,989
Oh, he looks wonderful.
So handsome, like a Greek god.
827
00:59:37,990 --> 00:59:43,203
Guess what? Your mom's book,
it's gonna be a sensation.
828
00:59:43,204 --> 00:59:45,831
I'm gonna make you so proud.
829
01:00:07,144 --> 01:00:11,356
He seemed better.
Did he seem better to you?
830
01:00:11,357 --> 01:00:13,400
Yes. He looks good.
831
01:00:16,487 --> 01:00:19,572
They take good care of him.
832
01:00:19,573 --> 01:00:22,075
I should hope so.
833
01:00:22,076 --> 01:00:26,454
Irving, you can't put a price
on this. You're right.
834
01:00:26,455 --> 01:00:29,083
He deserves the best.
835
01:00:30,084 --> 01:00:33,254
That's why this book
has got to be gigantic.
836
01:00:47,059 --> 01:00:50,062
Valley of the Dolls came
rolling off the presses...
837
01:00:50,104 --> 01:00:52,272
and Jackie took the
country by storm.
838
01:00:52,273 --> 01:00:57,069
- She invented a whole new way of selling books.
- Hello, boys!
839
01:00:59,155 --> 01:01:03,116
- I'm Jackie Susann. I wrote a book.
- Valley of the Dolls.
840
01:01:03,117 --> 01:01:07,162
Right now, you guys are loading
that book onto those great big trucks.
841
01:01:07,163 --> 01:01:09,372
I just want you to
know, I'm grateful.
842
01:01:09,373 --> 01:01:12,500
- We've got hot coffee.
- And doughnuts. - And tea.
843
01:01:12,501 --> 01:01:16,213
So if when you deliver these,
you say something to everybody
844
01:01:16,255 --> 01:01:18,882
about this lovely lady,
we'd appreciate it.
845
01:01:18,883 --> 01:01:23,636
Because my book is about the sexiest,
biggest hung guys in the universe.
846
01:01:23,637 --> 01:01:26,264
Who?
847
01:01:26,265 --> 01:01:29,059
- Teamsters.
- Yeah!
848
01:01:33,689 --> 01:01:36,816
No matter where she was,
she never stopped selling.
849
01:01:36,817 --> 01:01:39,402
Thar she blows.
850
01:01:39,403 --> 01:01:41,988
Yikes.
851
01:01:41,989 --> 01:01:46,159
- Are you ready?
- No, hold on a second. Read this.
852
01:01:46,160 --> 01:01:50,372
- Thank you.
- In the cafeteria.
853
01:02:06,764 --> 01:02:09,474
I'm driving and I'm dreaming.
854
01:02:09,475 --> 01:02:11,602
And I'm on my way.
855
01:02:12,603 --> 01:02:15,773
As I go through life...
856
01:02:16,774 --> 01:02:19,985
We didn't know much about
books, but we knew show business.
857
01:02:20,027 --> 01:02:22,904
If you want a hit, hit the road.
And do your homework.
858
01:02:22,905 --> 01:02:24,989
Stroudsburg. Go.
859
01:02:24,990 --> 01:02:27,575
Gladrey's Book Nook, Harry and Irma.
860
01:02:27,576 --> 01:02:31,246
- When's Irma's birthday?
- Today.
861
01:02:31,247 --> 01:02:34,458
- You're cooking, baby.
- What else?
862
01:02:36,543 --> 01:02:39,088
My dream is out there.
863
01:02:41,131 --> 01:02:46,344
Never gonna stop
till that dream is mine...
864
01:02:46,345 --> 01:02:49,472
- Mr. Gladrey? I'm Irv Mansfield.
- Yes? Who?
865
01:02:49,473 --> 01:02:53,226
And there's someone very new
and exciting I'd like you to meet.
866
01:02:53,227 --> 01:02:54,686
Get ready for lightning.
867
01:02:54,687 --> 01:02:59,899
Get ready for love.
Get ready for Miss Jacqueline Susann!
868
01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:04,404
- Harry! How are ya?
- Do I... do I know you?
869
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:09,075
- You do now. I've written a book you'll love.
- Valley of the Dolls.
870
01:03:09,076 --> 01:03:13,871
- When I decided to publish, the first thing I told my publisher...
- Henry Marcus.
871
01:03:13,872 --> 01:03:17,083
Was Gladrey's Book Nook,
Stroudsburg, PA.
872
01:03:17,084 --> 01:03:20,003
Harry, who are these people?
873
01:03:20,004 --> 01:03:23,006
- Irma!
- Darling, you look great.
874
01:03:23,007 --> 01:03:27,176
- How do you know my name?
- Everybody knows Irma Gladrey.
875
01:03:27,177 --> 01:03:30,722
Happy birthday to you.
876
01:03:30,723 --> 01:03:35,059
Happy birthday to you...
877
01:03:35,060 --> 01:03:38,604
Good morning.
Have you got Jackie Susann?
878
01:03:38,605 --> 01:03:41,107
- Who?
- Well, you do now.
879
01:03:41,108 --> 01:03:44,610
- Lester! Baby!
- That's Lester.
880
01:03:44,611 --> 01:03:46,696
Dick! Sweetheart!
881
01:03:46,697 --> 01:03:50,868
Somewhere in the world
there's a place for me.
882
01:03:53,787 --> 01:03:57,958
Somewhere I will find me
a new life...
883
01:04:05,924 --> 01:04:08,343
Sisters!
884
01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:12,055
God love you.
885
01:04:12,056 --> 01:04:16,060
If you love the Old Testament,
you'll love Valley of the Dolls.
886
01:04:27,821 --> 01:04:32,034
And I'm on my way...
887
01:04:35,746 --> 01:04:37,789
Henry?
888
01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:43,212
- They're in Montana. - So?
- There are no book stores in Montana.
889
01:04:43,420 --> 01:04:46,382
It's not a book anymore.
It's a bestseller.
890
01:04:55,140 --> 01:04:59,310
Today was pure sunshine in Boise.
What will tomorrow bring?
891
01:04:59,311 --> 01:05:03,481
Let's ask our celebrity weathergirl,
novelist Jacqueline Susann.
892
01:05:03,482 --> 01:05:06,192
Well, Earl, bad news.
893
01:05:06,193 --> 01:05:10,863
It looks like rain, from the border
right on down to Sun Valley...
894
01:05:10,864 --> 01:05:13,241
of the Dolls.
895
01:05:13,242 --> 01:05:16,786
First,
we begin by whisking our eggs.
896
01:05:16,787 --> 01:05:18,664
Next, we grease our skillet.
897
01:05:18,705 --> 01:05:22,625
Jackie, which do you prefer,
margarine or vegetable oil?
898
01:05:22,626 --> 01:05:24,919
I don't know. I order out.
899
01:05:24,920 --> 01:05:27,588
- You order out breakfast?
- You bet.
900
01:05:27,589 --> 01:05:29,757
Any woman who cooks is a fool.
901
01:05:29,758 --> 01:05:31,342
Don't cook.
902
01:05:31,343 --> 01:05:33,886
Read.
903
01:05:33,887 --> 01:05:39,475
She was on her way, to the biggest
of the big. To Johnny.
904
01:05:39,476 --> 01:05:41,603
Jacqueline Susann.
905
01:05:50,279 --> 01:05:52,864
Doesn't she look great?
906
01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:55,992
What's your name again, Ken?
907
01:05:55,993 --> 01:05:59,120
Jim. Jim Morrison.
908
01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:01,789
Oh, a pleasure. Irving Mansfield.
909
01:06:01,790 --> 01:06:04,500
Everyone's saying my book's dirty.
910
01:06:04,501 --> 01:06:09,297
But I wonder,
have they ever watched soap operas?
911
01:06:09,298 --> 01:06:12,968
Have they ever seen
what housewives watch all day long?
912
01:06:15,846 --> 01:06:18,181
When you're washing
floors everyday,
913
01:06:18,182 --> 01:06:21,642
you need a little something
in your life to keep going.
914
01:06:21,643 --> 01:06:25,355
- Isn't she great?
- Yeah, she's happening.
915
01:06:25,564 --> 01:06:30,526
Jackie was getting big, really big.
You could tell by her enemies.
916
01:06:30,527 --> 01:06:35,323
My guest is the flamboyant and often
controversial author, Truman Capote,
917
01:06:35,324 --> 01:06:39,995
whose latest book, In Cold Blood,
has created an international sensation.
918
01:06:40,037 --> 01:06:41,579
Good to see you again.
919
01:06:41,580 --> 01:06:44,665
Thank you.
It's always a pleasure to be here.
920
01:06:44,666 --> 01:06:47,376
Honey! Hurry up!
You're gonna miss it.
921
01:06:47,377 --> 01:06:50,046
How do you feel about
the competition?
922
01:06:50,047 --> 01:06:53,633
What about bestseller lists?
How about Jackie Susann?
923
01:06:53,634 --> 01:06:59,180
Jackie Susann, please.
That's not writing, that's typing.
924
01:06:59,181 --> 01:07:04,268
- How can he say that?
- She's a virtual illiterate. - Nasty.
925
01:07:04,269 --> 01:07:10,024
Have you ever seen her in those
sleazy gowns with all that hair?
926
01:07:10,025 --> 01:07:14,153
She looks like a truck driver
in drag.
927
01:07:14,154 --> 01:07:18,408
But no-one could stop her.
We were number one.
928
01:07:24,164 --> 01:07:28,334
I really wanna surprise her
at the party. Something big time.
929
01:07:28,335 --> 01:07:31,462
Don't worry. We'll find something.
It's here.
930
01:07:31,463 --> 01:07:34,006
What do you think she'd like?
931
01:07:34,007 --> 01:07:37,553
- Flo? What is it, a valve?
- Oh, my God. Pearls.
932
01:07:37,761 --> 01:07:42,723
- Black and white pearls.
- Pearls for Jackie?
933
01:07:42,724 --> 01:07:45,727
Irving, if a man bought
me those pearls,
934
01:07:45,769 --> 01:07:49,689
not only would I have sex
with him, I would enjoy it.
935
01:07:49,690 --> 01:07:52,484
The pearls, aren't they superb?
936
01:07:53,485 --> 01:07:55,528
A bit expensive.
937
01:07:55,529 --> 01:08:00,741
Come on. Buy them. It's her money.
938
01:08:00,742 --> 01:08:04,036
I don't know. Maybe a brooch.
939
01:08:04,037 --> 01:08:06,373
My treat.
940
01:08:08,417 --> 01:08:10,586
Yeah.
941
01:08:42,159 --> 01:08:45,286
Hey, can we help you?
942
01:08:45,287 --> 01:08:47,872
I'm fine. I'll be right there.
943
01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:50,458
What an evening.
944
01:08:50,459 --> 01:08:55,129
The Waldorf Astoria,
the grand ballroom, for a book.
945
01:08:55,130 --> 01:08:59,008
The guest list is unbelievable.
Everyone said yes.
946
01:08:59,009 --> 01:09:02,470
Where is she? Everyone's waiting.
947
01:09:02,471 --> 01:09:05,098
Jacqueline.
948
01:09:26,119 --> 01:09:30,665
Jackie! That dress,
949
01:09:30,666 --> 01:09:32,750
that outfit!
950
01:09:32,751 --> 01:09:37,421
- Is it too much? Is it over the top?
- Not one little bit.
951
01:09:37,422 --> 01:09:41,133
You don't think it's too vulgar,
too trashy?
952
01:09:41,134 --> 01:09:44,053
Too... Jackie Susann?
953
01:09:44,054 --> 01:09:46,263
It's absolutely perfect.
954
01:09:46,264 --> 01:09:49,016
Then maybe I should change.
955
01:09:49,017 --> 01:09:53,229
Everything's set.
Triple checked, all systems... go.
956
01:09:53,230 --> 01:09:58,401
Wow. You look so famous.
957
01:09:58,402 --> 01:10:02,697
- Come on. Jesus Christ, you have to get dressed.
- I am dressed!
958
01:10:02,698 --> 01:10:05,282
She looks fabulous.
959
01:10:05,283 --> 01:10:09,787
But that frock, it's so shy,
so reclusive. It needs something...
960
01:10:09,788 --> 01:10:12,373
Let me think.
961
01:10:12,374 --> 01:10:14,709
Jackie, something "Valley".
I don't know.
962
01:10:14,710 --> 01:10:18,629
Maybe... Oh, yes.
963
01:10:18,630 --> 01:10:23,634
- This.
- Oh, my God! Is it real?
964
01:10:23,635 --> 01:10:29,432
- I must be making you a fortune!
- For the woman, who as of Sunday,
965
01:10:29,433 --> 01:10:33,437
remains the number one
bestselling author in America.
966
01:10:35,522 --> 01:10:39,817
Thank you, Henry. Thank you. Irving,
look at this! Can you believe it?
967
01:10:39,818 --> 01:10:45,030
You deserve it. Every stone, every
carat. We'll have it appraised.
968
01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:49,618
So tell me, did Hemingway ever get
one of these? He'd be alive today.
969
01:10:49,619 --> 01:10:52,747
Come on, pussycats, we have to go.
970
01:10:52,748 --> 01:10:56,667
- What a night this is gonna be.
- It's gonna be a blast.
971
01:10:56,668 --> 01:10:59,546
Where is the elevator?
972
01:11:13,935 --> 01:11:18,439
Thank you, thank you.
I'm Henry Marcus. No, that's not it.
973
01:11:18,440 --> 01:11:22,610
I'm Jackie Susann's publisher.
974
01:11:22,611 --> 01:11:25,780
A few months ago, Jackie was
a young girl with a dream.
975
01:11:25,781 --> 01:11:30,993
Now from what I read, she's an even
younger girl with a bestseller. No!
976
01:11:30,994 --> 01:11:33,829
Make that the bestseller,
977
01:11:33,830 --> 01:11:37,792
because as of this week, Valley of
the Dolls has racked on the list
978
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:41,754
for 28 weeks, making it,
that's right,
979
01:11:41,755 --> 01:11:45,383
the bestselling novel of all time.
980
01:11:56,436 --> 01:12:00,981
So, up yours, Tolstoy. Ha!
981
01:12:00,982 --> 01:12:04,610
I say that with all sincerity. But,
982
01:12:04,611 --> 01:12:10,115
hey, please help me welcome
a great writer, a record breaker,
983
01:12:10,116 --> 01:12:14,078
and one very happening chick.
Ladies and gentlemen,
984
01:12:14,079 --> 01:12:17,457
I give you the champ,
Miss Jacqueline Susann!
985
01:12:30,262 --> 01:12:32,805
Thank you. Thank you.
986
01:12:32,806 --> 01:12:35,391
Thank you. Thank you, all.
987
01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:40,312
This is the most exciting night of
my life. This room, all of you.
988
01:12:40,313 --> 01:12:43,858
This is what I have waited for
my whole life.
989
01:12:43,859 --> 01:12:49,697
And I just have to tell anybody out there
who feels like they're nobody, listen.
990
01:12:49,698 --> 01:12:54,493
If they tell you you have no talent,
that it's never gonna happen for you,
991
01:12:54,494 --> 01:12:57,997
that you're some loud,
crude, pushy little nothing
992
01:12:57,998 --> 01:13:00,708
in a tight dress and
too much make-up,
993
01:13:00,709 --> 01:13:04,170
tell them, "Hey! Just look
at Jacqueline Susann!"
994
01:13:09,342 --> 01:13:12,929
Number one!
995
01:13:19,144 --> 01:13:23,314
- Where's Irving?
- I don't know. I haven't seen him.
996
01:13:23,315 --> 01:13:27,067
We have a special surprise
for a real numero uno.
997
01:13:27,068 --> 01:13:30,613
We have a pair of numero unos
to serenade you.
998
01:13:30,614 --> 01:13:35,452
Jackie, may I present Steve Lawrence
and Eydie Gorme!
999
01:13:43,251 --> 01:13:46,295
- You're walking along the street
- Can you believe this?
1000
01:13:46,296 --> 01:13:48,965
- You're at a party
- Thank you.
1001
01:13:49,174 --> 01:13:53,135
Or else you're alone and then
you suddenly dig.
1002
01:13:53,136 --> 01:13:55,846
You're looking in someone's eyes.
1003
01:13:55,847 --> 01:13:57,932
You suddenly realize.
1004
01:13:57,933 --> 01:14:01,685
That this could be the start of
something big.
1005
01:14:01,686 --> 01:14:04,606
You're lunching at 21.
1006
01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:07,733
And watching your diet, girl.
1007
01:14:07,734 --> 01:14:09,818
Declining a Charlotte Russe.
1008
01:14:09,819 --> 01:14:11,904
Accepting a fig Fig, fig.
1009
01:14:11,905 --> 01:14:14,615
When out of a clear blue sky.
1010
01:14:14,616 --> 01:14:16,700
It's suddenly gal and guy.
1011
01:14:16,701 --> 01:14:20,746
And this could be the start of
something big.
1012
01:14:20,747 --> 01:14:22,831
There's no controlling...
1013
01:14:22,832 --> 01:14:26,127
Have you ever seen anything
like this in your life?
1014
01:14:26,169 --> 01:14:28,421
I'm the luckiest
girl in the world!
1015
01:14:29,798 --> 01:14:32,968
But when a lover...
1016
01:14:34,803 --> 01:14:39,807
♫ .. Without a second look
1017
01:14:39,808 --> 01:14:44,812
You're watching the sun come up,
counting your money, girl.
1018
01:14:44,813 --> 01:14:46,313
Or else in a dim cafe.
1019
01:14:46,314 --> 01:14:49,400
You're ordering wine, wine, wine.
1020
01:14:49,401 --> 01:14:51,236
And suddenly there she is.
1021
01:14:51,277 --> 01:14:54,571
You wanna be where she is.
1022
01:14:54,572 --> 01:14:56,156
This must be
the start of something.
1023
01:14:56,157 --> 01:14:58,701
This could be
the heart of something.
1024
01:14:58,702 --> 01:15:04,249
This could be
the start of something big!
1025
01:15:59,345 --> 01:16:03,098
I'm sorry, I just don't understand.
1026
01:16:03,099 --> 01:16:06,643
What's to understand?
I was busy, checking on things.
1027
01:16:06,644 --> 01:16:09,229
You abandoned me.
1028
01:16:09,230 --> 01:16:14,026
You were surrounded. There was
an army. Your army, with cameras.
1029
01:16:14,027 --> 01:16:16,528
But I needed you.
1030
01:16:16,529 --> 01:16:18,781
You did?
1031
01:16:18,782 --> 01:16:21,366
- Yeah.
- Why?
1032
01:16:21,367 --> 01:16:24,412
Why?! Why?! For a million reasons.
1033
01:16:24,454 --> 01:16:27,998
To keep me company. To hold my hand.
To love me.
1034
01:16:27,999 --> 01:16:31,126
- Just to be there.
- Stop.
1035
01:16:31,127 --> 01:16:36,090
- Just stop. - Why? Stop what?
- Baby, it's done.
1036
01:16:36,091 --> 01:16:40,844
- What do you mean "done"?
- You're famous.
1037
01:16:40,845 --> 01:16:44,349
You're international,
like an airport.
1038
01:16:44,557 --> 01:16:49,062
But what does that have to do
with your just running off like that?
1039
01:16:49,104 --> 01:16:50,772
What's going on with you?
1040
01:16:51,397 --> 01:16:56,276
Nothing. I'm fine. I need a paper.
1041
01:16:56,277 --> 01:16:59,446
But it's 5 A.M.! Where are you going?
1042
01:16:59,447 --> 01:17:02,075
I'm not tired.
1043
01:17:05,578 --> 01:17:10,166
I don't know what's gotten into him.
Ever since the Waldorf a month ago.
1044
01:17:10,208 --> 01:17:15,379
He wants to be a producer again. He's got
all these projects, musicals, TV specials.
1045
01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:17,965
All of a sudden, he's never home.
1046
01:17:17,966 --> 01:17:22,010
I'm not implying anything
nor would I ever imply anything.
1047
01:17:22,011 --> 01:17:28,016
However, did it ever occur to you
that he just might be, you know?
1048
01:17:28,017 --> 01:17:33,606
- He is a man, after all.
- What? Say it.
1049
01:17:34,607 --> 01:17:38,611
You think...? You think
he's handling someone else?
1050
01:17:40,321 --> 01:17:43,199
I made him give up personal clients.
1051
01:17:45,243 --> 01:17:51,498
Yeah, I got a lot of things on the
boil. A game show, a variety hour.
1052
01:17:51,499 --> 01:17:55,127
I'm thinking of putting together
some kind of rock thing,
1053
01:17:55,128 --> 01:17:57,337
like a book that... whatshername?
1054
01:17:57,338 --> 01:18:01,466
Janis Joplin, Ken Morrison.
We really hit it off.
1055
01:18:01,467 --> 01:18:07,723
The Who, The What. Maybe some pretty
girls. Topo Gigio, mix it up.
1056
01:18:07,724 --> 01:18:10,894
Your old man's back on track.
1057
01:18:35,543 --> 01:18:38,171
Hi, sweetheart.
1058
01:18:47,472 --> 01:18:50,642
Come on, Mommy's gonna call Daddy.
1059
01:18:53,394 --> 01:18:58,233
Yeah, hello? Can I have
Mr. Irving Mansfield's room, please.
1060
01:19:00,276 --> 01:19:02,861
He checked out?
1061
01:19:02,862 --> 01:19:05,447
- When?
- Yesterday.
1062
01:19:05,448 --> 01:19:09,661
- May I help you with anything else?
- No. No, thanks.
1063
01:19:16,376 --> 01:19:18,961
Josie, don't pull!
1064
01:19:18,962 --> 01:19:22,173
Hey, watch out, lady!
1065
01:19:23,675 --> 01:19:26,260
What the hell are you doing here?
1066
01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:28,845
It's a public park.
1067
01:19:28,846 --> 01:19:32,808
- Just a second, that's my tree.
- Please, leave me alone.
1068
01:19:32,809 --> 01:19:36,728
- I thought you were in LA?
- I came back on the redeye.
1069
01:19:36,729 --> 01:19:40,691
- I thought you were my husband.
- You don't need a husband.
1070
01:19:40,692 --> 01:19:44,027
- You're right. - I know I am.
- I don't need a husband.
1071
01:19:44,028 --> 01:19:48,156
- Anybody can have a husband. I'm Jackie Susann.
- That's right.
1072
01:19:48,157 --> 01:19:51,077
And I'm Irving Mansfield.
I've got my own life.
1073
01:19:51,119 --> 01:19:53,620
I've got my own schedule.
And I'm booked.
1074
01:19:53,621 --> 01:19:57,749
- Well, good for you.
- Yeah! Good for me!
1075
01:19:57,750 --> 01:20:01,712
- So, you're quitting on me?
- That's right. I'm off the payroll.
1076
01:20:01,713 --> 01:20:04,298
Well, it's about time.
1077
01:20:04,299 --> 01:20:06,342
I don't need a
publicist any more.
1078
01:20:06,384 --> 01:20:09,511
I get all the press I want.
They're coming to me now.
1079
01:20:09,512 --> 01:20:15,643
- Well, I'm glad to hear it.
- All I need now is just someone who knows.
1080
01:20:16,644 --> 01:20:19,439
Knows what?
1081
01:20:21,482 --> 01:20:25,652
Someone who knows everything
I never ever wanna talk about.
1082
01:20:25,653 --> 01:20:29,781
Someone who knows what I look like
without this get-up.
1083
01:20:29,782 --> 01:20:33,995
Someone who knows that
Guy doesn't have asthma.
1084
01:20:42,712 --> 01:20:46,131
- I won't tell.
- Irving, don't make me beg.
1085
01:20:46,132 --> 01:20:49,259
I need you. You know why?
1086
01:20:49,260 --> 01:20:53,722
'Cause from the very beginning
you thought I WAS famous.
1087
01:20:53,723 --> 01:20:57,267
- Stop.
- Irving,
1088
01:20:57,268 --> 01:21:02,230
we're making a shit load of money.
There's new deals coming in everyday.
1089
01:21:02,231 --> 01:21:06,944
So, I'm asking you, Irving,
will you...?
1090
01:21:09,113 --> 01:21:12,032
Will you be my agent?
1091
01:21:12,033 --> 01:21:15,702
Don't. Don't tease me.
1092
01:21:15,703 --> 01:21:19,874
I'm not. I mean it, every word.
1093
01:21:20,083 --> 01:21:23,336
I want you to make my deals.
1094
01:21:25,797 --> 01:21:28,174
Even movies?
1095
01:21:28,591 --> 01:21:31,511
With my attorney?
1096
01:21:31,719 --> 01:21:35,847
I don't know. It's so sudden and...
1097
01:21:35,848 --> 01:21:40,060
- Make your deals? It's such a commitment.
- But you're ready.
1098
01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:44,148
I can feel it. Oh, Irving, come on.
We can be even bigger.
1099
01:21:46,192 --> 01:21:48,527
Yes.
1100
01:21:48,528 --> 01:21:51,655
- Yes?
- Yes.
1101
01:21:51,656 --> 01:21:55,450
- And I get 15%?
- 10.12.
1102
01:21:55,451 --> 01:21:57,703
Point five.
1103
01:21:58,704 --> 01:22:00,915
I'm in.
1104
01:22:02,959 --> 01:22:04,043
Wait.
1105
01:22:09,132 --> 01:22:12,259
All right. We're almost even.
1106
01:22:12,260 --> 01:22:16,472
Just one more thing, one more item
and I'll tear up our bill.
1107
01:22:18,516 --> 01:22:21,643
Ten more years.
That's all I'm asking.
1108
01:22:21,644 --> 01:22:24,229
Just ten.
1109
01:22:24,230 --> 01:22:26,858
With an option.
1110
01:22:31,904 --> 01:22:37,117
She got her ten years.
She had a great agent.
1111
01:22:37,118 --> 01:22:41,289
There were movies and premieres.
1112
01:22:48,296 --> 01:22:51,466
Jacqueline Susann
and Irving Mansfield!
1113
01:22:55,678 --> 01:22:59,514
You should know, honey.
You just came out of the nut house.
1114
01:22:59,515 --> 01:23:02,017
It was not a nut house!
1115
01:23:02,018 --> 01:23:05,605
Look, they drummed you
right out of Hollywood.
1116
01:23:10,776 --> 01:23:14,404
I hate this movie.
They've ruined it!
1117
01:23:14,405 --> 01:23:17,033
It's gonna make a fortune.
1118
01:23:17,617 --> 01:23:20,952
- You think so?
- At least I never married one!
1119
01:23:20,953 --> 01:23:25,666
- You take that back, you old...
- Get your hands off me!
1120
01:23:33,424 --> 01:23:37,385
We hit the road again,
but this time, we did it right.
1121
01:23:37,386 --> 01:23:40,014
No more road maps for us.
1122
01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:49,356
But Jackie never forgot who'd been
there for her at the beginning.
1123
01:23:49,357 --> 01:23:53,319
Though she definitely enjoyed
meeting interesting new playmates,
1124
01:23:53,444 --> 01:23:55,987
like Onassis and
that other Jackie.
1125
01:23:55,988 --> 01:23:59,200
Those were great days.
She'd never been happier.
1126
01:24:04,997 --> 01:24:10,211
No matter how celebrated she became,
she never got too ritzy for fans.
1127
01:24:16,509 --> 01:24:20,221
You know, if I sign this,
you can't return it.
1128
01:24:27,937 --> 01:24:31,107
Irving, I'm glad you made me do this.
1129
01:24:32,108 --> 01:24:35,026
Well, it's another smash, baby.
1130
01:24:35,027 --> 01:24:37,946
You're packing 'em in,
and in this weather.
1131
01:24:37,947 --> 01:24:40,658
- Isn't it great?
- Yeah.
1132
01:24:40,866 --> 01:24:45,036
- You wanna drive over and say hello?
- Oh, no.
1133
01:24:45,037 --> 01:24:48,164
I don't look so hot.
1134
01:24:48,165 --> 01:24:50,793
This is enough.
1135
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:08,768
You look swell in that T-shirt.
Doesn't he look swell?
1136
01:25:08,769 --> 01:25:15,025
Guy, I have to tell you, your father thinks
everybody looks swell in that T-shirt.
1137
01:25:15,026 --> 01:25:19,195
You must have grown five inches
in a week. You're like an oak tree.
1138
01:25:19,196 --> 01:25:22,324
- OK, let's show Mommy.
- Show Mommy what?
1139
01:25:22,325 --> 01:25:25,452
Jackie, watch this. Way to go.
1140
01:25:25,453 --> 01:25:28,580
Huh? Isn't that great?
1141
01:25:28,581 --> 01:25:32,793
I tried it a few weeks ago.
He didn't forget.
1142
01:25:33,794 --> 01:25:36,921
Honey, are you OK? Should we sit?
1143
01:25:36,922 --> 01:25:40,050
Oh, no, I just need a sec. I'm fine.
1144
01:25:40,051 --> 01:25:44,263
Look at him.
1145
01:25:45,264 --> 01:25:49,851
- Like a movie star.
- He's a heartbreaker.
1146
01:25:49,852 --> 01:25:52,480
Yeah.
1147
01:26:11,707 --> 01:26:15,877
- Please. Please, be careful. She's a celebrity.
- Mind the bumps.
1148
01:26:15,878 --> 01:26:17,755
They're waiting at the hospital.
1149
01:26:18,422 --> 01:26:22,133
We got the big suite, the one
where Liz Taylor had pneumonia.
1150
01:26:22,134 --> 01:26:24,219
- Irving?
- Lie back. Rest.
1151
01:26:24,220 --> 01:26:26,597
I can't believe this.
I'm astounded...
1152
01:26:26,639 --> 01:26:30,475
that you of all people would
not tell me that she was here.
1153
01:26:30,476 --> 01:26:32,560
- I'm sorry.
- How could you?
1154
01:26:32,561 --> 01:26:36,649
You know how she is about the
cancer. She thinks it'd hurt sales.
1155
01:26:36,941 --> 01:26:41,778
- She doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her.
- I never would!
1156
01:26:41,779 --> 01:26:45,949
She is so brave.
She's so utterly strong.
1157
01:26:45,950 --> 01:26:49,077
I know. She's the best.
1158
01:26:49,078 --> 01:26:52,123
I would play her.
1159
01:26:53,124 --> 01:26:57,085
Flo, don't go in there.
She's resting.
1160
01:26:57,086 --> 01:26:59,839
Jacqueline?
1161
01:27:07,680 --> 01:27:09,682
What are you doing here?
1162
01:27:11,726 --> 01:27:15,186
Well, now, this is a fine thing.
1163
01:27:15,187 --> 01:27:17,397
I mean, I wanna know what's wrong.
1164
01:27:17,398 --> 01:27:20,484
Now, what is it?
1165
01:27:20,693 --> 01:27:24,863
Here I am, probably your
best friend in the entire world...
1166
01:27:24,864 --> 01:27:27,949
and nobody tells me what's going on.
1167
01:27:27,950 --> 01:27:31,453
So... what's going on?
1168
01:27:31,454 --> 01:27:34,873
Is it...
1169
01:27:34,874 --> 01:27:37,626
a face-lift?
1170
01:27:40,796 --> 01:27:43,424
Yeah.
1171
01:27:44,425 --> 01:27:46,885
Well,
1172
01:27:46,886 --> 01:27:49,388
I guess it's time.
1173
01:27:54,143 --> 01:27:57,313
- Oh.
- Look who's here.
1174
01:27:59,356 --> 01:28:01,441
Jackie.
1175
01:28:01,442 --> 01:28:04,027
Excuse me, this is a private room.
1176
01:28:04,028 --> 01:28:08,198
Oh, we're not really here.
We thought you were Liz Taylor.
1177
01:28:08,199 --> 01:28:12,368
We knew we weren't supposed to come.
But this is business. Business?
1178
01:28:12,369 --> 01:28:16,372
It's about the new book. We got this
from your publisher in England.
1179
01:28:16,373 --> 01:28:21,669
We can only publish this work
if you remove the profanity. Stop.
1180
01:28:21,670 --> 01:28:26,132
Specifically the word fuck. Stop.
We hope this will not be a problem.
1181
01:28:26,133 --> 01:28:28,218
Please advise.
1182
01:28:28,219 --> 01:28:30,846
What do you want us to do?
1183
01:28:32,890 --> 01:28:35,518
Send 'em a telegram.
1184
01:28:36,519 --> 01:28:40,104
Dear England, fuck you.
1185
01:28:40,105 --> 01:28:42,065
Love,
1186
01:28:42,066 --> 01:28:44,359
Jackie Susann.
1187
01:28:44,360 --> 01:28:47,488
Stop.
1188
01:28:51,617 --> 01:28:54,744
She made the front-page,
1189
01:28:54,745 --> 01:28:57,872
all three dailies
and every network.
1190
01:28:57,873 --> 01:29:00,959
She would have been thrilled.
1191
01:29:00,960 --> 01:29:03,670
I had lost my best friend.
1192
01:29:03,671 --> 01:29:07,800
But I knew she had gotten
what she wanted, what she needed.
1193
01:29:08,801 --> 01:29:12,054
She'd made it all the way
to number one.
1194
01:29:20,479 --> 01:29:24,649
In Jackie's books, when people get
to be stars, they take Seconal,
1195
01:29:24,650 --> 01:29:29,863
Nembutal, they fall for the wrong people
and then kill themselves in their cabanas.
1196
01:29:29,864 --> 01:29:34,076
Being famous, it's a bum rap.
1197
01:29:37,162 --> 01:29:39,747
But, you know what?
1198
01:29:39,748 --> 01:29:43,918
Jackie was a star.
And she loved every minute.
1199
01:29:43,919 --> 01:29:48,047
She never got the breaks,
so she made her own.
1200
01:29:48,048 --> 01:29:50,676
You gotta love that.
1201
01:29:52,720 --> 01:29:55,847
But you know how
I like to remember her?
1202
01:29:55,848 --> 01:30:00,060
On that beautiful day
in the Mediterranean.
1203
01:30:02,104 --> 01:30:05,231
On that boat, with Onassis,
1204
01:30:05,232 --> 01:30:08,651
knowing she'd made it at last.
1205
01:30:08,652 --> 01:30:11,237
At the top of the world,
1206
01:30:11,238 --> 01:30:13,698
at the top of her game.
1207
01:30:13,699 --> 01:30:17,244
I think I married the wrong Jackie.
1208
01:30:23,000 --> 01:30:25,628
Wasn't she great?
1209
01:30:30,799 --> 01:30:34,929
I looked at you.
1210
01:30:34,970 --> 01:30:38,056
Looking at me.
1211
01:30:38,057 --> 01:30:41,226
There we were.
1212
01:30:42,227 --> 01:30:46,440
And it just happened.
1213
01:30:49,526 --> 01:30:52,654
You were the one.
1214
01:30:52,655 --> 01:30:54,739
And you.
1215
01:30:54,740 --> 01:30:59,953
Were sent to.
1216
01:30:59,954 --> 01:31:02,038
Open my heart.
1217
01:31:02,039 --> 01:31:05,166
And to find.
1218
01:31:05,167 --> 01:31:09,380
The love that's there.
1219
01:31:12,424 --> 01:31:15,593
And just for you.
1220
01:31:15,594 --> 01:31:19,807
For always.
1221
01:31:21,850 --> 01:31:24,936
All of my hopes.
1222
01:31:24,937 --> 01:31:28,064
All of my dreams.
1223
01:31:28,065 --> 01:31:31,609
Everyone.
1224
01:31:31,610 --> 01:31:36,865
We'll share forever.
1225
01:31:39,952 --> 01:31:42,036
You were my love.
1226
01:31:42,037 --> 01:31:45,207
And you were.
1227
01:31:45,290 --> 01:31:48,418
Sent to.
1228
01:31:48,419 --> 01:31:51,546
Open my heart.
1229
01:31:51,547 --> 01:31:54,674
And to find
1230
01:31:54,675 --> 01:31:59,930
I live for you-u-u.
99165
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