Original subtitles

Johnny, I can't make any money having to sell my little blue box.

Don't honey me.

Hey, John.

Are you hard of hearing?

I rang your doorbell.

There was no answer, so I thought you weren't in.

Yeah, I'm just here working, trying to get something done, but not much

happening.

No Jen?

No, just me as usual. Jen at one of her women's live meetings again?

Jen went to one of her women's live meetings.

Anyway, I came down for some wine. Is there company?

Nope.

Bastards stood me up.

I find that pretty unbelievable.

There's no big loss. It was more physical than mental anyway.

What's wrong with that? Physical looks prettier to me. How do you know?

I'm a writer with imagination.

And you don't exactly hide it. No, I guess I don't.

The vino's in the kitchen.

Oh, right.

Hey, you want a banana?

No. Why don't you bring me one? There's some out there.

It's funny.

I've never imagined you before.

In bed, I mean.

That's what you thought about me, eh?

Oh, sure.

Ever since I met you in jam.

And when I moved upstairs.

I have fantasies about you, too, by the way. If you have a fantasy, it can be

good.

You never need to worry if you're feeling...

There's never a need to make a ring.

Telephone call.

It's Eve.

You go on.

feelings.

I've been here the whole time.

I don't know. You're a funny guy.

Why?

Because you're the only married man I know that hasn't made a pass at me.

I don't think I even thought about it, but there's, you know... But there's

and you love her.

Sounds corny the way you say it, but it's true.

You know, I do most of my passes in front of the typewriter.

I'm not the kind of person who goes out.

I don't know, maybe I'm afraid.

What are you afraid of?

My realities may be not as good as the fantasies.

You'll never know until you try.

Oh, yeah?

Now, wait a minute.

Come on. Jen will be home soon.

And you know how much I love you and Jen.

Story of my life.

Horny but faithful.

Thanks for the wine.

Say hello to Jim.

Yeah, if I can get a word in.

Goodbye, pretty thing.

You're really a tease.

That's the story of my life.

Born to tease.

Sweet dreams.

John.

John.

John. What's the matter?

Well, you know I went to that meeting tonight and... It was horrible.

What?

Well, there was this... There was this gorgeous girl there. Oh, yeah?

John. John, this is serious. Stop fooling around.

And what this girl had been through, my God, you wouldn't believe it. She was

just a total wreck. She was ripped to shreds. What?

She was ripped to shreds. There was nothing inside.

There was plenty on the outside, but nothing inside. Absolutely nothing left.

No. You know that this girl had been exploited.

She had been photographed and exploited by every girly porno magazine in the

world. What she'd been through, she told me about this producer.

She went up to see this producer one time, you know, and he was going to put

in the movies, make her a big star, you know. And she's sitting there, innocent,

wide -eyed.

He says, take off your clothes, honey. She says, why?

He says, well, just take them off. I want the director to see your body. She

told you this?

She told us all this. She's very, she wants help.

She needs help because, well, this bastard, he offered her a hundred bucks

and all she could eat.

And she thought it was a good deal because she was so naive and she was so

beautiful. So she's lying on the desk and the director comes in.

Well, they both fucked her.

And there was no movie.

They weren't even making a movie.

Come on, why don't you just come to bed and I'll make you feel better.

John, that's all you can think of.

No, come on. That's all you can think of, John. I mean it. I'm not a producer.

You're making me sick.

John. John, you should have been there. She'll never be the same. Never.

Wait

a

minute.

You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?

All you want to do is get me into the sack for a mindless fuck.

Is that what you think?

Is that what our relationship means to you?

That's your answer for everything, John. Jump in the sack.

Now, wait a minute.

When we first got married, you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.

What the hell happened?

Well, I found out that I'm a person, too. And there are things that are

important to me. And you don't give a shit.

It's just like that poor girl tonight.

I've had fantasies about you, too, last night. I can imagine what kind.

Do you mind? Are you kidding? I have fantasies about you every night.

Tell me, what's your fantasy about me?

Oh, what an answer you have, babe.

Oh, look at that. Oh, yes.

Oh,

God.

Oh,

God. Oh, God.

No.

Oh, oh, oh.

Good evening sir.

I have something you want.

I can see that.

I'm not that silly.

Oh.

Oh, Chris.

Oh, I interrupted

your dinner. I'm sorry.

All right, it's all right. It's only a TV dinner.

How about a drink?

Vodka over ice.

Okay. I have something to show you. I can't wait.

Mr. Michaels, you are so lucky.

I'm beginning to believe it.

Do you realize that you have been selected from hundreds of men in your

neighborhood to sample our new product?

Oh, Jesus Christ.

You've got to be kidding.

This whole thing's a fucking sales pitch.

Mr. Michaels, it's not that at all.

All right, what are you selling?

Before you say anything you might regret, let me show you something.

Let me show you something very special.

All right, just so it doesn't take too long, my wife will be home in a few

minutes. Oh, she's going to love this, too. In fact, I can guarantee it.

You don't know my wife.

I'm not worried about what you're selling, but you don't look like the

lady. And it's 11 .30 at night.

Oh, it's just time for the light show.

What did you do to my TV?

I usually watch The Honeymooners at this time. Oh, you're right.

You know, they put those things on TV.

What did they want?

I just love the country.

You like motorcycles?

I like hay.

Oh,

you're the best.

Yes. Oh,

it's so hard.

Oh, come on.

Oh, come on.

If my wife ever saw this, she'd kill me.

Mmm. Mmm.

Mmm.

These are just a few of the sample films that we have available on the Blue

Network.

I'm interested in your network. You're so strong, Mr. Michaels.

Do me from behind.

That way, yeah.

That's good.

Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Well, the blue box can work for you.

Let me explain something.

This is a very special channel.

Channel 69?

What's so special about that?

I can't tell you.

Not unless you buy the box.

Oh, you're sneaky.

But I can tell you that you won't be sorry.

Well, I won't be sorry.

We can get back to it when we can stop talking.

This is, uh, I'm sorry, what is your name?

Azure.

Ms. Azure.

Ms., huh?

Who are you kidding?

Ms. Azure's a salesman, a person. She came by to demonstrate a new cable

television system.

We got cable. Oh, this is different, honey.

Don't honey me.

I'm sure that if you viewed my little blue box, you would be very stimulated.

Oh, no, no, my wife isn't interested in any demonstration.

Not tonight, anyway.

Oh, I don't know. Since she's here, why don't we take a look at her little blue

box? We wouldn't want to ruin her evening, would we, John?

Miss Azure, thanks for coming by, but I don't think we'll be interested in...

Oh, I'm sorry.

My little blue box has brought joy and fulfillment to millions of satisfied

customers. I don't believe you or this broad.

Your wife isn't much fun, is she?

Yeah.

Mrs. Asher, thanks for coming by and for all your trouble.

I'll call you tomorrow?

Here's my card. Now don't forget.

Oh, I won't. Believe me.

Good night, Mrs. Michaels.

Take your time. You've got all night.

It's okay, honey.

I can find my way out.

Hello? Let me speak to Miss Azure. I mean, Miss Azure.

Thank you.

Hi, this is John.

John Michaels from yesterday.

Why don't you come over this afternoon?

I mean, you know, maybe we can talk about it. About 2, 2 .30.

I'll see you there.

Bye.

to the little blue box.

Well now, let me demonstrate some of its other features.

What's on your mind?

Have you got a receipt for that?

What's it to you?

Police. Follow me, please.

Take it off. Don't arrest me. I've got a husband and children.

Take it off.

Take that

off, too. But it's mine.

What? Take it off, unless you want me to take you to prison. Are you crazy? It's

really mine. Take it off.

Listen, if I was marketing naked, I'd catch cold.

You are crazy. What are you doing?

I'm a thief, too.

rabbit too.

I'm a dancer, and I did some plays in high school.

Oh. Now, let me see your pictures, honey. I don't have them with me because

just got into town, and my stuff hasn't arrived yet.

But I really need the money, and a friend of mine in San Francisco told me

could come and see you.

Oh, I see.

Have you ever done any films like this one before?

No, but I've done some modeling.

Oh.

Any modeling like this one?

No, I've done nude modeling.

But none with men like this.

Do they really... Yeah, they really do, baby.

He's big, isn't he?

About average.

Look, since you don't have any pictures, let's save some time. Just stand up,

take your clothes off. We've got to look at you.

Right now?

Yeah, right now.

Come on, baby. It's getting late. I'm tired.

You're going to do a lot more and take off your clothes if you want to get in

this business.

Yeah, I suppose you're right.

That's it, honey. Just relax.

Very nice.

Yeah.

Relax.

Move a little, honey.

That's it. Do a little script one.

Oh, that's very nice, baby.

Very, very nice.

Okay, how are you in a sack?

What? I assume you're not a virgin, young lady.

You must have gotten it on with a few guys. How was it? Did you enjoy it?

Yeah, sure.

Did you give in?

I have.

Did you ever make up with another girl?

Can I put my clothes on now? Oh, come on, honey. Come on, come on. Sit down.

Relax. I want to talk.

Now, here's the deal.

Normally, I just don't have time to fool around with anybody who isn't, well,

you forgive me, an established star, you know.

But I like you, honey. I like your looks. I like the way you move. I like

body. I think you have a lot of potential.

So I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to give you a screen test

here and now.

And if you make out well, I'm going to star you in my next hardcore epic. What

do you think of that?

That's 100 bucks a day, baby, and all you can eat.

100? 150, but that's it.

Hello.

Hiya, kitty.

Yeah, but it's late, baby.

Yeah, okay.

Sure, come on in. I want you to meet your new co -star.

Okay.

That was Stacy.

Nice young guy. He's the guy you'd be working with.

Hey, you know, since he's here, I'm going to have you do that screen test

together. I got my lights and everything all set up from the last shoot. Save a

lot of time.

I don't know.

Oh, you'll like Stacy. Come on, he's a nice, gentle guy.

He'll show you what's going down.

First time's always the hardest, right?

Hey, Kitty.

Stacy, this is Ming.

This is very nice.

Pretty, huh?

Thank you.

Ming, why don't you stand up? Let's see you two together.

Pretty nice, right, Stacey?

It's your first time in the big city?

Yeah. You're going to like it here.

It'll make you really nice and comfortable, won't it?

You'll do it, Stacey.

Want some smoke?

Go on, it's good stuff.

Losing your writer.

That a girl.

Hey, now, Stacey, we promised Ming a really good screen test, so why don't

just kind of get to know each other and get right into it, you know?

Give her a little kiss, Dave. Yes.

Are you feeling all right?

Mm -hmm.

Yeah.

Do you think you can handle this?

This is a natural.

Just a light, sweetheart.

Don't worry. All the better to see you.

Come on, Space. Let's get it on.

Okay, it's all right. You can hand it. That's it. Good. Am I doing this right?

Yeah,

give us a good view of that. That's what

you want me to do?

Spread that leg a little bit more.

Oh,

that's beautiful. I like that.

I like some of your tongue in there now. Do that again.

Oh, you like that, honey? Good, yeah.

Close up on you now, honey. Come on up there. That's it.

That's it. I want a little more of your face there.

That's it.

That's it,

honey.

Very good.

You can't take it out of your mouth, can you?

Oh, good, honey.

I want to get something this angle up here

That's going to look good.

Man,

that's kind of hard to get this thing going here.

Take a second here.

Very good.

Keep going there. Yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh.

I'm going to come up there on your face a little bit.

That's it. Good.

Little tits. That's it. Very good.

I'm going to come down there again in a second.

Oh, boy.

Good. A real turn on here.

Some audition.

Oh, gee.

Nice. Oh, yeah.

A little bit. That's it.

That's it.

Keep going now. See, honey, sometimes you'll have to do it.

Oh,

you're

very good. You're going to go a long way in this business.

Here we go now. Here we go.

How's that?

How's that?

rest on this one.

You think she'll make it?

Are you kidding?

I want to take her home.

Here's an offer for you, Ming. You got a place to sleep tonight?

Is there anywhere where that came from?

What do you think?

I think I'm going to like this job.

I haven't shown you all my channels yet.

Come back here.

No, Johnny, I can't make any money having fun with you.

I've got to sell my little blue box.

Would you like to do something that I enjoy?

What is it?

It's not fair. If I tell you, it won't be a surprise.

All right, but could you do something about this?

Okay, baby.

Mama will fit.

Close your eyes.

Huh? Close your eyes.

Hey, what is this?

That's so you won't peek, silly.

Peek -see.

Don't peek.

Give me your arm.

Go.

Do it. Yeah.

Baby. Feel

your balls.

Not too hard, not too hard.

It's wet. I'm going to stick my finger in here.

There's room for both of us in there, honey.

Can you feel me?

Good, baby, yes.

Ollie's all wet.

I'm going to put some of this on you, Bob.

Oh, I'm going to cum.

Oh, yeah.

I'm going to cum big.

Babe. Babe.

Oh.

Oh.

Squeeze them.

I'm like your mom. She called me.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Feel good, baby?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, right there. Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Rub it.

Harder. Harder.

No.

Can you undo these cuffs? My arms are really starting to hurt.

Well, it's the only way I can keep you in one place.

After all, I've demonstrated just about everything my little blue box can do.

Except channel 69.

Well, what is it about this channel 69 anyway?

I can't tell you, Johnny. Not unless you buy it.

All right, if I agree, will you undo these things?

You have to promise to be a good boy. I have another appointment.

I promise, I promise.

Okay.

Oh, it's after one o 'clock.

Fuck.

Never anything on this goddamn TV when you want it.

And I rip off.

$3 ,000?

Don't you think it's worth it?

All right, I'll have to give you a post -dated check because I don't have that

much in my account right now.

Oh, that's okay, Johnny.

I know you would insure it me, not after today.

You wouldn't want your wife to find out about me, would you?

Blackmail, too.

You know, you're really something.

I'm a super salesperson.

Here, what I want to know.

What's this about Channel 69?

Oh, I knew you would be a wonderful captain.

I like you.

Yeah, I like you, too, sweetheart. What about Channel 69?

What do you... See the safety shield over the button?

You must be very careful when you use chances.

When you press the button, any fantasy that's in your head will come on the

screen. You mean I can make up my own fantasies and they'll be on the

television? That's right.

And if you imagine hard enough, well, you'll see. You just push the

button, close your eyes real tight,

I'm dead.

Oh, hi, Jen.

You're home early. What the hell is all this?

It's a daydream. A fantasy.

My fantasy.

And you have to do everything I want. What are you talking about?

Well, that's what it's all about, sweetheart.

Fantasies. Since you're so busy with your women's lib meetings, all I have is

fantasies. Well, I have to find another woman.

And I don't want to do that. But how?

How did I get into this?

looking at you on television, or I thought I was looking at you on

Yeah, he saw me.

Thanks to my little blue box.

This wouldn't have anything to do with that bitch, Ms. Azure, would it? You

could say so.

Here, relax.

Have a banana.

Oh, fuck you and your bananas.

Listen, John, I'm not kidding. I don't know what's going on here, you and

uh, women.

What are you doing here, Leslie? How could you do this?

I didn't have any choice.

I'm a part of John's fantasy, just like you.

Oh, you're as crazy as he is. Now, Jen, that's not a nice thing to say in my

fantasy. All I want you to be is sexy and desirable, like you were when we

got married.

What's so hard about that?

Well, that's what I was trying to do.

I came home early just to make it up to you.

And I find you on television with...

Cunts. Some women live it, huh? Yeah, cunts.

Come on, join us. You'll love it. What?

Me jump in the middle of this orgy?

Well, you can stop it, buster.

I don't care if it is your fantasy.

Well, girls, I guess there's only one way to get this orgy started.

John?

John!

Oh, no!

John!

It can become reality.

Never need to worry if you're feeling.

Whatever your game is, it's a game you'll play.

There's never a need to make a ring.

Telephone, phone, phone.

It's easy.

You got to pick up a ball with your little blue hot ball.

You don't know?

I'm feeling sad.

Real, real bad.

It'll make you glad when you think you have. Make you happy when you feel sad.

Johnny?

Johnny, I just had the weirdest dream.

You were in an orgy.

And I was in it with you.

Yes, there were four women.

One of them was Leslie, you know, from upstairs.

And the four women did the wildest things to me.

And then you fucked me like you never did before.

Wasn't that a weird dream, Johnny?

Sounds like you're horny to me.

I

love

you, Johnny.

I love you, Johnny.

It can become reality.

Never a need to worry if you're feeling down.

Listen to me and be the first

warning you down.

It matters.

There's never a need to make